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ISBN978-0-7180-1696-8(HC)ISBN978-0-7180-1702-6(e-book)

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[Successjourney]Yourroadmapforsuccess/JohnC.Maxwell.

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Includesbibliographicalreferences.ISBN0-7852-6596-1(HC)ISBN0-7852-6408-6(IE)ISBN0-7852-8802-3(TP)1.Success—Psychologicalaspects.I.Title.BF637.S8M3422002158.1—dc21

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Contents

EbookInstructions

Acknowledgments

Chapter1:TheJourneyIsMoreFunIfYouKnowWhereYou’reGoing

Part1:KnowingYourPurposeChapter2:WhereWouldILiketoGo?Chapter3:HowFarCanIGo?Chapter4:HowDoIGetTherefromHere?

Part2:GrowingtoYourMaximumPotentialChapter5:WhatShouldIPackinMySuitcase?Chapter6:HowDoIHandletheDetours?Chapter7:AreWeThereYet?

Part3:SowingSeedsThatBenefitOthersChapter8:IsItaFamilyTrip?Chapter9:WhoElseShouldITakewithMe?Chapter10:WhatShouldWeDoAlongtheWay?

Afterword:WhatDidYouLikeBestAbouttheTrip?

Notes

AbouttheAuthor

EbookInstructionsIn this ebook edition, please use your device’s note-taking function to recordyourresponsewhereveryouseethebracketedinstructions[YourResponse],anduseyourdevice’shighlightingfunctiontorecordyouranswerswhenpresentedwithamutliplechoiceselection.

T

Acknowledgments

hankyouto:CharlieWetzel,mywriter;StephanieWetzel,foreditingtheearlymanuscriptandmanagingmysocialmedia;andLindaEggers,myexecutiveassistant.

S

1

TheJourneyIsMoreFunIfYouKnowWhereYou’reGoing

everalyearsago,asIwasthumbingthroughSuccessmagazine,IcameacrossastudythatGallupdidonwhatpeoplethoughtitmeanttobeasuccess.That

appealedtomebecauseI’vealwaysbeeninterestedinhelpingotherstobecomesuccessful,and Iwanted toknowwhatGalluphadgleaned.Theiranswers fellinto twelve categories, but the number one answer was “good health.” Fifty-eight percent of the people identified that with success over anything else. Idon’tknowaboutyou,butIvaluegoodhealth—andaftermyheartattackIvalueitevenmore.ButifIhadonlygoodhealthandnothingelse,Idon’tknowthatIwouldlabelmyself“successful.”

I’vediscovered thatpeopleoften find it hard todefine success.But if youdon’tknowwhatsuccessis,howwillyoueverachieveit?That’swhyIwanttohelp you identify a definition of success that will work for you: success is ajourney.

Letmebegin to illustrateby tellingyouastory.Severalyearsago, I stoodbeforetheseventy-fouremployeesofINJOY—theorganizationIhadfoundedin1985 to teach leadershipandpersonaldevelopment—andprepared to tell themsomenewsthatIknewwouldbeexcitingtosomeanddiscouragingtoothers.Iwasgoingtotellthemthatinayear’stime,wewouldbemovingthecompanyfromSanDiego,California,toAtlanta,Georgia.

My friend Dick Peterson, INJOY’s president at the time, and I had beentalkingaboutthepossibilityofmovingthecompanyforaboutsixmonths.Ithadbegunasacasual“whatif...”conversation,butthenwestartedgivingitmore

seriousthought.Weweighedtheadvantagesandaskedourdirectoroffinancetorun somenumbers.We talkedabout theopportunities that suchamovewouldbring. And finally, we determined that moving to Atlanta made senseprofessionally,logistically,andeconomically.Weknewthatifwewantedtogoto anew level inourgrowth anddevelopment, notonly as a company,but asindividuals,weneededtomakethechange.

Inmanyways,thatwasaverytoughdecision.IneverexpectedtoleaveSanDiego.FromthedaywemovedtherefromIndiana,mywife,Margaret,andIfeltthatitwashome.Itwastheonlyhomethatourkids,ElizabethandJoelPorter,hadeverreallyknown.ButasmuchaswelovedlivinginSanDiego,wewerewilling tomake thesacrificeofmovingawayso thatwecouldachievegreatersuccess.

Our more serious concern was for the people on the INJOY team. Weweren’tsurehowtheywouldreact.SanDiegoisoneofthemostbeautifulcitiesin the country, and the weather is perfect.Many of our employees were SanDiegonatives,andtheyhadalottokeepthemthere.

AsIpreparedtotalktothestaff,therewasanoisyenergyintheroom.Allofushadn’tmetasagroup inalmostayear, and I could see theexcitementandanticipationinmanyoftheirfaces.

“Gang, I’d like tohaveyourattention,” I started. “Ihaveavery importantannouncement tomake. In one year from now,wewill bemoving INJOY toAtlanta.”Isawawholerangeofreactions.Somelookedshocked.Otherslookedas if they had been punched in the stomach. Jayne Hansen, one of our bestcustomer service representatives,waswide-eyed as her chin dropped, and shecoughedout a short breath in disbelief every eight to ten seconds for the firstminutethatItalked.FromourmanagersIsawrelief:theyhadbeenkeepingtheirknowledgeofthemovesecretforweeks.

For fifty minutes, Dick Peterson and I explained all our reasons for themove, gave them stats and information onAtlanta, and showed them a videofrom theAtlantaChamber ofCommerce.Andwe told them that anyonewhowaswillingtogotoAtlantawouldhaveajobwhenheorshegotthere.ThenweintroducedtwopeoplewhohadflowninfromAtlanta’sbestrealestateagencytoanswerquestions.

WillingtoTaketheJourney

Weweren’t surewhat kindof reactionwewould get fromour staff.Wewereproposingamajormovethatwouldradicallychangetheirlives.Whatasurpriseitwaswhenmorethan90percentoftheteamsaidtheywouldmoveoratleastconsidermovingtoAtlanta!Theywerewillingtotakethetrip.

Thatgotmetothinking.Whyweresomanyofthemwillingtobeuprooted,leaving behind everything that was familiar, including family and friends, tomoveallthewayacrossthecountry?Iconcludedthattheywerewillingtogoforfourreasons:

1.Wegavethemapictureofwheretheyweregoing.AsDick,thetworealestateagents,andIspoketoourpeople,wegavethem

apictureofourfutureinAtlanta:thepositiveworkingenvironment,thegreaternumberoflivesthatwewouldbeabletotouch,theimprovementintheirqualityoflife,andtheopportunitythatweasacompanywouldhavetogotothenextlevel.Theycouldseeitall—thebenefitstothempersonallyandtothecompany.

2.Weansweredtheirquestions.Theprospectoftakingajourneycancreateinsecurityandleadtonumerous

questions.Ourpeoplewanted toknowwherewewouldbe locating theoffice,what Atlanta’s schools were like, the condition of the housing market, theculturalandentertainmentattractionsavailableinthecity,thestatetaxstructure,and so on. In that first meeting, we were able to answer nearly all of theirquestions.

3.Theyhadexperiencedpersonalsuccessintheirlives.As a team, INJOYwas experiencing success, and sowere the individuals.

They were responsible for the company’s success and at the same time wereenjoying the fruits of that success. They had a sense of purpose. They weregrowingpersonally.Andtheywerehelpingothers.

4.Theywerenolongerthesameandwantedtocontinuetohavesignificance.

Acoupleofweeksbeforeweannouncedthemove,IheardPattyKnoll,oneof our employees, say, “I love working for INJOY, helping so many peoplethroughwhatwedo.Ican’timagineworkinganywhereelse.”Onceapersonhastastedsuccessandrealizesthathereffortshavesignificance,it’ssomethingthat

sheneverforgets—andthatsheneverwantstogiveup.Makingadifferenceinthelivesofotherschangesheroutlookonlifeandherpriorities.

You may be saying to yourself, “That’s great. It’s good that your peoplewanted tomove toGeorgia.Butwhat does that have to dowithme? I’m notgoingonthistriptoAtlanta!Whataboutthedefinitionofsuccess?”

It’struethatyoumaynotbemovingtoAtlanta,butyouarepreparingtogoonajourney,thejourneyofsuccess,andthattriphasthepotentialoftakingyoua long way—maybe farther than you’ve dreamed. To take it, you’ll need thesamethingsthatourpeopleatINJOYneeded:apictureofwhereyou’regoing,answerstoyourquestionsaboutsuccess,knowledgeofwhatsuccessislike,andtheabilitytochangeandcontinuegrowing.

It’smydesire toprovide these things foryou in thisbook. Iwant to teachyouwhatitmeanstobeonthesuccessjourney,answermanyofyourquestions,andequipyouwithwhatyou’llneed tochangeyourself andkeepgrowing. Intheprocess,you’lldiscoverthatsuccessisforeveryone:thehomemakerandthebusinessperson, the student and the person approaching retirement, the athleteandthelocalchurchpastor,thefactoryworkerandtheentrepreneur.

TheTraditionalPictureofSuccess

Theproblem formostpeoplewhowant tobe successful isnot that they can’tachievesuccess.Themainobstacleforthemisthattheymisunderstandsuccess.MaltbieD.Babcock said, “One of themost commonmistakes and one of thecostliestisthinkingthatsuccessisduetosomegenius,somemagic,somethingorotherwhichwedonotpossess.”

Whatissuccess?Whatdoesitlooklike?Mostpeoplehaveavaguepictureofwhatitmeanstobeasuccessfulpersonthatlookssomethinglikethis:

ThewealthofBillGates,thephysiqueofArnoldSchwarzenegger(orCindyCrawford),theintelligenceofAlbertEinstein,theathleticabilityofMichaelJordan,thecreativityofSteveJobs,thesocialgraceandpoiseofJackieKennedy,

theimaginationofWaltDisney,andtheheartofMotherTeresa.

Thatsoundsabsurd,butit’sclosertothetruththanwewouldliketoadmit.Manyofuspicturesuccessaslookinglikeoneotherthanwhoweare—andweespecially can’t be eight other people! And more important than that, youshouldn’twant to be. If you tried to become just like even one of these otherpeople,youwouldn’tbesuccessful.Youwouldbeabadimitationofthem,andyouwouldeliminatethepossibilityofbecomingthepersonyouweremeanttobe.

TheWrongPictureofSuccess

Evenifyouavoidthetrapofthinkingthatsuccessmeansbeinglikesomeotherperson,youmightstillhaveawrongpictureofsuccess.Frankly,themajorityofpeoplemisunderstandit.Theywronglyequateitwithachievementofsomesort,with arriving at a destinationor attaining a goal.Here are several of themostcommonmisconceptionsaboutsuccess:

WealthProbably themost commonmisunderstanding about success is that it’s the

sameashavingmoney.A lotofpeoplebelieve that if theyaccumulatewealth,theywillbesuccessful.Butwealthdoesnotbringcontentmentorsuccess.

IndustrialistJohnD.Rockefeller,amansorichthathegaveawaymorethan$350millioninhislifetime,wasonceaskedhowmuchmoneyitwouldtaketosatisfyhim.Hisreply:“Justa littlebitmore.”KingSolomonofancientIsrael,saidtobenotonlythewisestbutalsotherichestmanwhoeverlived,asserted,“Whoeverlovesmoneyneverhasmoneyenough;whoeverloveswealthisneversatisfiedwithhisincome.”1

Wealthandwhatitbringsareatbestfleeting.Forexample,in1923,asmallgroup of the world’s wealthiest men met at the Edgewater Beach Hotel inChicago,Illinois.Theywerea“Who’sWho”ofwealthandpower.Atthattime,theycontrolledmoremoneythanthetotalamountcontainedintheUnitedStatesTreasury.Hereisalistofwhowasthereandwhateventuallyhappenedtothem:

•CharlesSchwab—presidentofthelargestindependentsteelcompany—diedbroke.

•ArthurCutten—greatestofthewheatspeculators—diedabroad,insolvent.•RichardWitney—presidentoftheNewYorkStockExchange—diedjustafterreleasefromSingSingprison.

•AlbertFall—memberofaU.S.president’scabinet—waspardonedfromprisonsothathecoulddieathome.

•JessLivermore—greatest“bear”onWallStreet—committedsuicide.•LeonFraser—presidentoftheBankofInternationalSettlements—committedsuicide.

•IvarKreuger—headoftheworld’sgreatestmonopoly—committedsuicide.2

EvenGreekmillionaireAristotleOnassis,whoretainedhiswealthanddiedataripeoldage,recognizedthatmoneyisn’tthesameassuccess.Hemaintainedthat“afteryoureachacertainpoint,moneybecomesunimportant.Whatmattersissuccess.”

ASpecialFeelingAnothercommonmisconceptionisthatpeoplehaveachievedsuccesswhen

theyfeelsuccessfulorhappy.Buttryingtofeelsuccessfulisprobablyevenmoredifficultthantryingtobecomewealthy.Thecontinualsearchforhappinessisaprimaryreasonthatsomanypeoplearemiserable.Ifyoumakehappinessyourgoal,youarealmostcertainlydestinedtofail.Youwillbeonacontinualrollercoaster,changingfromsuccessfultounsuccessfulwitheverymoodchange.Lifeisuncertain,andemotionsaren’tstable.Happinesssimplycannotbereliedonasameasureofsuccess.

SpecificandWorthwhilePossessionsThinkbacktowhenyouwereakid.Chancesarethattherewasatimewhen

youwantedsomethingbadly,andyoubelievedthatifyoupossessedthatthing,itwouldmakeasignificantdifferenceinyourlife.Forme,itwasaburgundyandsilverSchwinnbicycle.OneChristmasmorningwhenIlookedunderthetree,Isawmyvisionofwhatabicycleought tobe.Thatwasbackwhenbikeswerebikes.Theyweresolidastanks.AndminehadeverythingIcouldeverwanton

it:mudflaps,chrome,bells,lights—theworks.Forawhileitwasgreat.Ilovedthatbike,andIspentalotoftimeridingit.ButIsoondiscoveredthatitdidn’tbringmethesuccessorlong-termcontentmentthatIhopedforandexpected.

Thatprocesshasrepeateditselfinmylife.Ifoundthatsuccessdidn’tcomewhenIbecameastarteronmyhighschoolbasketballteam,whenIbecamethestudentbodypresidentincollege,orwhenIboughtmyfirsthouse.Ithasnevercomeas theresultofpossessingsomethingIwanted.Possessionsareatbestatemporaryfix.Successcannotbeattainedormeasuredthatway.

PowerCharlesMcElroyonce joked, “Power is usually recognizedas an excellent

short-termantidepressant.”Thatstatementcontainsalotoftruthbecausepoweroftengivestheappearanceofsuccess,buteventhen,it’sonlytemporary.

You’veprobablyheardthequotefromEnglishhistorianLordActon:“Powertendstocorruptandabsolutepowercorruptsabsolutely.”Powerreallyisatestofcharacter.Inthehandsofapersonofintegrity,itisoftremendousbenefit;inthehands of a tyrant, it causes terrible destruction. By itself, power is neitherpositivenornegative.Anditisnotthesourceofsecurityorsuccess.Besides,alldictators—evenbenevolentones—eventuallylosepower.

AchievementManypeoplehavewhatIcall“destinationdisease.”Theybelievethatifthey

can arrive somewhere—attain a position, accomplish a goal, or have arelationshipwiththerightperson—theywillbesuccessful.Atonetime,Ihadasimilar view of success. I defined it as the progressive realization of apredetermined,worthwhilegoal.ButovertimeIrealizedthatthedefinitionfellshortofthemark.

Simply achieving goals doesn’t guarantee success or contentment.Look atwhat happened with Michael Jordan. In 1993, he decided to retire frombasketball, saying that he had accomplished all the goals he had wanted toachieve.Andthenhewentontoplaybaseballintheminorleagues—butnotforlong.Hecouldn’t stay away from thegameofbasketball, andhe cameout ofretirementtwotimestoplayseveralmoreyears.Playingthegame,beinginthemidstof theprocess,was the thing.Yousee, success isn’ta listofgoals tobechecked off one after another. It’s not reaching a destination. Success is ajourney.

TheRightPictureofSuccess

So howdo you get started on the success journey?What does it take to be asuccess? Two things are required: the right picture of success and the rightprinciplesforgettingthere.

Thepictureofsuccess isn’t thesameforany twopeoplebecausewe’reallcreated differently as unique individuals. But the process is the same foreveryone. It’sbasedonprinciples thatdonotchange.Aftermore than twenty-five years of knowing successful people and studying the subject, I havedevelopedthefollowingdefinitionofsuccess:

Successis...

knowing your purpose in life, growing toreach yourmaximumpotential, and sowingseedsthatbenefitothers.

You can see by this definition why success is a journey rather than adestination.Nomatterhowlongyouliveorwhatyoudecidetodoinlife,youwill never exhaust your capacity to grow toward your potential or run out ofopportunities to help others.When you see success as a journey, you’ll neverhavetheproblemoftryingto“arrive”atanelusivefinaldestination.Andyou’llneverfindyourselfinapositionwhereyouhaveaccomplishedsomefinalgoal,onlytodiscoverthatyou’restillunfulfilledandsearchingforsomethingelsetodo.

Anotherbenefitoffocusingonthejourneyofsuccessinsteadofonarrivingat adestinationorachievingagoal is thatyouhave thepotential tobecomeasuccesstoday.Theverymomentthatyoumaketheshifttofindingyourpurpose,growing toyourpotential,andhelpingothers, successful is somethingyouarerightnow,notsomethingyouvaguelyhopeonedaytobe.

Togetabetterhandleon theseaspectsofsuccess, let’s takea lookateachoneofthem:

KnowingYourPurposeNothingcantaketheplaceofknowingyourpurpose.Millionaireindustrialist

Henry J. Kaiser, the founder of Kaiser Aluminum as well as the Kaiser-Permanente health-care system, said, “The evidence is overwhelming that youcannot begin to achieve your best unless you set some aim in life.” Or putanotherway,ifyoudon’ttryactivelytodiscoveryourpurpose,you’relikelytospendyourlifedoingthewrongthings.

I believe that God created every person for a purpose. According topsychologistViktorFrankl,“Everyonehashisownspecificvocationormissioninlife.Everyonemustcarryoutaconcreteassignmentthatdemandsfulfillment.Thereinhecannotbereplaced,norcanhislifeberepeated.Thuseveryone’staskis as unique as his specific opportunity to implement it.” Each of us has apurposeforwhichwewerecreated.Ourresponsibility—andourgreatestjoy—istoidentifyit.

Herearesomequestionstoaskyourselftohelpyouidentifyyourpurpose:

•ForwhatamIsearching?Allofushaveastrongdesireburiedinourhearts,somethingthatspeakstoourdeepestthoughtsandfeelings,somethingthatsetsoursoulsonfire.Somepeoplehaveastrongsenseofwhatthatiswhenthey’rejustchildren.Otherstakehalfalifetimetodiscoverit.Butnomatterwhat,it’sthere.Youonlyneedtofindit.(I’lltalkmoreabouthowtodevelopthedreamthat’swithinyouinthenextchapter.)

•WhywasIcreated?Eachofusisdifferent.Nooneelseintheworldhasexactlythesamegifts,talents,background,orfuture.That’soneofthereasonsitwouldbeaseriousmistakeforyoutotrytobesomeoneotherthanyourself.Thinkaboutyouruniquemixofabilities,theresourcesavailabletoyou,yourpersonalhistory,andtheopportunitiesaroundyou.Ifyouobjectivelyidentifythesefactorsanddiscoverthedesireofyourheart,youwillhavedonealottowarddiscoveringyourpurposeinlife.

•DoIbelieveinmypotential?Youcannotconsistentlyactinamannerinconsistentwiththewayyouseeyourself.Ifyoudon’tbelievethatyouhavepotential,youwillnevertrytoreachit.Andifyouaren’twillingtoworktowardreachingyourpotential,youwillneverbesuccessful.

GrowingtoYourPotentialNovelist H. G.Wells held that wealth, notoriety, place, and power are no

measuresof successwhatsoever.Theonly truemeasureof success is the ratio

betweenwhatwemighthavebeenandwhatwehavebecome. Inotherwords,successcomesastheresultofgrowingtoourpotential.

It’sbeensaidthatourpotentialisGod’sgifttous,andwhatwedowithitisour gift to him. But at the same time, our potential is probably our greatestuntapped resource. Henry Ford observed, “There is no man living who isn’tcapableofdoingmorethanhethinkshecando.”

Wehavenearlylimitlesspotential,yettoofewevertrytoreachit.Why?Theanswer lies in this: We can do anything, but we can’t do everything. Manypeople leteveryonearound themdecide theiragendas in life.Asa result, theyneverreallydedicatethemselvestotheirpurposeinlife.Theybecomeajack-of-all-trades,masterofnone—ratherthanajack-of-few-trades,focusedonone.

If that describes youmore than you’d like, you’re probably ready to takesteps to make a change. Here are four principles to put you on the road togrowingtowardyourpotential:

1.Concentrateononemaingoal.Nobody ever reached her potential by scattering herself in twenty directions.Reachingyourpotentialrequiresfocus.That’swhyit’sso importantforyoutodiscoveryourpurpose.Onceyou’vedecidedwheretofocusyourattention,youmustdecidewhatyouarewillingtogiveuptodoit.Andthat’scrucial.Therecanbenosuccesswithoutsacrifice.Thetwogohandinhand.Ifyoudesire toaccomplishlittle,sacrificelittle.Butifyouwanttoaccomplishgreatthings,bewillingtosacrificemuch.

2.Concentrateoncontinualimprovement.David D. Glass, chief executive officer of Wal-Mart stores, was once askedwhom he admired most. His answer wasWal-Mart founder SamWalton. Heremarked,“There’sneverbeenaday inhis life,sinceI’veknownhim, thathedidn’timproveinsomeway.”

Commitmenttocontinualimprovementisthekeytoreachingyourpotentialand to being successful. Each day you can become a little bit better than youwereyesterday.Itputsyouonestepclosertoyourpotential.Andyou’llalsofindthatwhatyougetastheresultofyourgrowthisnotnearlyasimportantaswhatyoubecomealongtheway.

3.Forgetthepast.

Myfriend JackHayford, foundingpastorofChurchon theWay inVanNuys,California, commented, “The past is a dead issue, and we can’t gain anymomentummoving toward tomorrow if we are dragging the past behind us.”Unfortunately, that’s what too many people do; they drag the past with themwherevertheygo.Andasaresult,theynevermakeanyprogress.

Maybe you’ve made a lot of mistakes in your life, or you’ve had anespecially difficult past with many obstacles. Work your way through it andmoveon.Don’tletitpreventyoufromreachingyourpotential.

If you need inspiration, think of other people who overcame seeminglyinsurmountable obstacles, such as Booker T. Washington. He was born intoslaveryandwasdeniedaccesstotheresourcesavailabletowhitesociety,butheneverletthatpreventhimfrompursuinghispotential.HefoundedtheTuskegeeInstituteandtheNationalBlackBusinessLeague.Hesaid,“Ihavelearnedthatsuccess is tobemeasurednotsomuchby theposition thatonehas reached inlifeasbytheobstacleswhichonehasovercomewhiletryingtosucceed.”

No doubt, you can think of others who have overcome tragedies or pastmistakestopursuetheirpotential.Youmayevenknowpersonallysomepeoplewhofoughtbackfromadversitytobecomesuccessful.Lettheminspireyou.Nomatterwhatyou’vefacedinthepast,youhavethepotentialtoovercomeit.

4.Focusonthefuture.BaseballHall ofFamerYogiBerra declared, “The future isn’twhat it used tobe.” Although that may be true, it’s still the only place we have to go. Yourpotential lies ahead of you—whether you’re eight, eighteen, forty-eight, oreighty.Youstillhaveroomtoimproveyourself.

SowingSeedsThatBenefitOthersWhen you know your purpose in life and are growing to reach your

maximumpotential,you’rewellonyourwaytobeingasuccess.Butthereisonemoreessentialpartof thesuccess journey:helpingothers.Without thataspect,thejourneycanbealonelyandshallowexperience.

It’sbeensaidthatwemakealivingbywhatweget,butwemakealifebywhatwegive.Physician,theologian,andphilosopherAlbertSchweitzerstatediteven more strongly: “The purpose of human life is to serve, and to showcompassion and the will to help others.” For him, the success journey led toAfricawhereheservedpeopleformanyyears.

Foryou,sowingseedsthatbenefitothersprobablywon’tmeantravelingtoanothercountrytoservethepoor—unlessthat is thepurposeyouwereborntofulfill. (And if it is, you won’t be satisfied until that’s what you’re doing.)However, if you’re likemost people, helping others is something you can doright here at home, whether it’s spending more time with your family,developinganemployeewhoshowspotential,helpingpeopleinthecommunity,orputtingyourdesiresonholdforthesakeofyourteamatwork.Thekeyistofindyourpurposeandhelpotherswhileyou’repursuing it.EntertainerDannyThomasinsistedthat“allofusarebornforareason,butallofusdon’tdiscoverwhy.Successinlifehasnothingtodowithwhatyougaininlifeoraccomplishforyourself.It’swhatyoudoforothers.”

Thesuccessjourneywillnotlookthesameforeveryonebecausethepictureof success is different for every person. But the principles used to take thejourneydon’tchange.Theycanbeappliedathome,inschool,attheoffice,ontheballfield,andinchurch.That’swhattheremainderofthisbookisabout—theprinciplesthatcanhelpyouworktowardknowingyourpurpose,growingtoyourpotential,andsowingseedsthatbenefitothers.Itdoesn’tmatterwhereyouarenow.Youcanlearnandapplytheseideas.Youcanbesuccessfultoday.

Pleaseallowmetoguideyou,soyoucanalsoknowwhat itmeansto takethesuccessjourney.You’llneverlookatsuccessthesamewayagain,andyourlife will be changed forever. You’ll agree with columnist Whit Hobbs, whowrote, “Success iswakingup in themorning,whoeveryouare,whereveryouare,howeveroldoryoung,andboundingoutofbedbecausethere’ssomethingouttherethatyoulovetodo,thatyoubelievein,thatyou’regoodat—somethingthat’sbiggerthanyouare,andyoucanhardlywaittogetatitagaintoday.”

Comeon.Let’sgetstarted!

PART1

KNOWINGYOURPURPOSE

A

2

WhereWouldILiketoGo?

sIbeganworkingonthisbook,Isetasidesometimetotalktoadozenorsofriends, family members, and colleagues to find out their thoughts about

travel.Oneof the things Iasked themwaswhere theywouldgo if theycouldtakeatriptoanywhereintheworld.Theygavemequiteavarietyofanswers.

JayneHansenwantedtoreturntoHeidelberg,Germany.ShehadspentthreeyearsinvariouspartsofGermanywithherhusband,Brad,andsheparticularlyloved the people, gorgeous sights, and food in Heidelberg. It held warmmemoriesforher.

MiriamPhillipssaidshewantedtogotoAustraliatoexploretheoutbackandseesomeoftheunusualanimals;sheespeciallywantedtoseekoalasinperson.Miriamthoughtthetripwouldbeanadventure.

CharlieWetzelsaidhewantedtogotoEnglandtoseetheplacestiedtothehistoryandliteraturehestudiedinschool:theTowerofLondon,FleetStreet,thesite of the Battle of Hastings, and the Lake Country. Seeing them in personwouldbringvividlytolifemanyofthememorablestorieshehadread.

Ienjoyedtalkingwith themabout theirdreamsfor travel.Theireyes litupandtheirspeechquickenedastheypicturedintheirmindstheplacestheywouldseeand theactivities theywoulddo. Ialsoasked themanotherquestion:Whyhadn’ttheytakentheirdreamtrips?Acoupleofpeoplesaidtheydidn’twanttogo alone and were waiting until they found a traveling companion. Many ofthemsaidtheydidn’thavethemoney.Othersnotedthattheylackedthetime.

It’s been my experience that we make time and set aside money for thethings that aremost important tous.Allof thepeoplewhogoon theirdreamtripsdon’thaveunlimitedmoneyandtime.Theymakethejourneybecausethey

planaheadandthey’rewillingtopaywhateverpriceisrequiredforthemtogo.Now letme ask you a similar question: If you could go anywhere,where

wouldyouliketogo?Notintermsofvacations,butinyourlife.Youranswertothatquestiondoesalottodeterminewhetherornotyou’resuccessful.Yousee,we’reallona journey,whetherweknowitornot.Weare traveling inevitablytowardtheendsofourlives.Sotherealquestionforusiswhetherwe’regoingtoselectadestinationandsteeracourse for it,orallowourselves tobesweptalongwiththetide, lettingothersdeterminewherewe’llendup.Thechoice isentirelyuptous.

ACruisetoNowhere

If you live in a town near the ocean, you may have seen advertisements for“cruisestonowhere.”Peoplegetonboardacruiseship,andwhentheyleavethepier,insteadofsettingoutforalushislandorotherexoticlocation,theygooutto sea and travel in circles for a couple of days. Meanwhile they dine onsumptuousmeals, lounge around the pool, enjoy the shows, and participate inonboardactivities.It’ssimilartocheckingintoafinehotelorresort.

The problem for a lot of people is that their lives are toomuch like thosecruises.They’reonatripwithnosetdestination,nochartedcourse.They’reinaholding pattern, and they occupy their time pursuing pleasures or engaging inactivities that don’t have any lasting benefit for themselves or others.Meanwhile, they travel in circles. In the end, they finish no better than theystarted.Acruisetonowheremaybeafunwaytooccupyafewdaysofvacationtime,butit’snowaytospendyourlife.

As I mentioned before, success is a journey. You don’t suddenly becomesuccessfulwhenyouarrive at aparticularplaceor achieve a certaingoal.Butthatdoesn’tmeanyoushouldtravelwithoutidentifyingadestination.Youcan’tfulfill your purpose and grow toward your potential if you don’t know whatdirection you should be going. You need to identify and sail toward yourdestination.Inotherwords,youneedtodiscoveryourdream.

ThePowerofaDream

I believe that each of us has a dreamplaced in the heart. I’m talking about a

visiondeepinsidethatspeakstotheverysoul.It’sthethingwewereborntodo.Itdrawsonour talentsandgifts. It appeals toourhighest ideals. It sparksourfeelings of destiny. It is inseparably linked to our purpose in life. The dreamstartsusonthesuccessjourney.

WhenIlookforthenameofapersonwhoidentifiedandlivedouthisdream,I think of auto industry pioneer and visionaryHenry Ford. He asserted, “Thewholesecretofasuccessfullifeistofindoutwhatitisone’sdestinytodo,andthendoit.”

Ford’s dream grew out of his interest in anything mechanical. Fromboyhood,hehadapassionforstudyingandtinkeringwithmachinery.Hetaughthimself about steam engines, clocks, and combustion engines. He traveledaroundthecountrysidedoingrepairworkforfree,justsohecouldgethishandson machines. He became a mechanic and watchmaker. He even worked as anightengineerfortheDetroitEdisonCompany.

Ford became increasingly intrigued by the idea of the automobile, and hedevotedmoreandmoreofhisattentiontoit.In1896,hebuilthisfirstcarinashedbehindhishouse.After that,hecontinued to thinkabouthowto improvehisearlyefforts,andhestudiedtheworkofothercarbuilders,includingthatofRansomE.Olds,whomanufacturedthefirstOldsmobilein1900.

OutofhisloveformachineryandintrigueovertheautomobilegrewFord’sdream: the creation of an inexpensive,mass-produced automobile. Until then,thenewhorselesscarriagehadbeenanexpensiveluxuryitem,availabletoonlytherich.ButFordwasdeterminedtoputtheautomobilewithinthereachofthecommonperson.In1899,hehelpedformtheDetroitMotorCompany.Butwhenhis fellow organizers balked at the idea of manufacturing their productinexpensivelyinordertosellittothemasses,heleftthecompany.However,heheldontohisdream,andhiseffortsfinallypaidoff.In1903,heorganizedtheFordMotorCompanyandbegantoproducetheModelT.Thefirstyearhisnewcompany produced just under 6,000 cars. But only eight years later, theyproducedmorethan500,000.Andtheymanagedtoreducetheinitialretailpricefrom$850toonly$360.Ford’sdreambecameareality.

Ford has been called a genius and has been creditedwith the birth of theassemblylineandmassproduction.Butnomatterwhathehadgoingforhim,hisassetwashisdreamandhiswillingnesstodevotehimselftoit.

Adreamdoesmanythingsforus:

ADreamGivesUsDirectionHaveyoueverknownapersonwhodidn’thaveaclueconcerningwhatshe

wanted in life, yet was highly successful? I haven’t either. We all needsomethingworthwhile to aim for. A dream provides uswith that. It acts as acompass, telling us the directionwe should travel. And until we’ve identifiedthat right direction, we’ll never know for sure that our movement is actuallyprogress.Ouractionsarejustaslikelytotakeusbackwardinsteadofforward.Ifyoumoveinanydirectionotherthantowardyourdream,you’llmissoutontheopportunitiesnecessarytobesuccessful.

ADreamIncreasesOurPotentialWithoutadream,wemaystruggletoseepotentialinourselvesbecausewe

don’tlookbeyondourcurrentcircumstances.Butwithadream,webegintoseeourselves in a new light, as having greater potential and being capable ofstretchingandgrowing to reach it.Everyopportunitywemeet, every resourcewediscover, every talentwedevelop,becomesapartofourpotential togrowtowardthatdream.Thegreaterthedream,thegreaterthepotential.

ADreamHelpsUsPrioritizeA dream gives us hope for the future, and it also brings us power in the

present.Itmakesitpossibleforustoprioritizeeverythingwedo.Apersonwhohasadreamknowswhatheiswillingtogiveupinordertogoup.Heisabletomeasure everything he does according to whether or not it contributes to thedream,concentratinghisattentionon the things thatbringhimcloser to it andgivinglessattentiontoeverythingthatdoesn’t.

ADreamAddsValuetoOurWorkAdreamputseverythingwedo intoperspective.Even the tasks thataren’t

exciting or immediately rewarding take on added value when we know theyultimately contribute to the fulfillment of a dream. Each activity becomes animportantpiece in thatbiggerpicture. It remindsmeof the storyof a reporterwho talked to three construction workers pouring concrete at a building site.“Whatareyoudoing?”heaskedthefirstworker.“I’mearningapaycheck,”hegrumbled.

Thereporteraskedthesamequestionofasecondlaborer,wholookedoverhisshoulderandsaid,“What’sitlooklikeI’mdoing?I’mpouringconcrete.”

Thenhenoticeda thirdmanwhowassmilingandwhistlingasheworked.“Whatareyoudoing?”heaskedthethirdworker.

Hestoppedwhathewasdoingandsaidexcitedly,“I’mbuildingashelterforthehomeless.”Hewipedhishandscleanonaragandthenpointed.“Look,overthereiswherethekitchenwillbe.Andthatoverthereisthewomen’sdormitory.Thishere...”

Eachmanwas doing the same job.But only the thirdwasmotivated by alargervision.Theworkhedidwasfulfillingadream,anditaddedvaluetoallhisefforts.

Vince Lombardi stated, “I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour—hisgreatestfulfillmenttoallheholdsdear—isthatmomentwhenhehasworkedhisheartoutinagoodcauseandliesexhaustedonthefieldofbattle—victorious.”Adreamprovidestheperspectivethatmakesthatkindofeffortpossible.

StagesforDevelopingaDream

OvertheyearsI’velearnedalotaboutvisionandwhatitmeanstohaveadreambecause it’s such a critical part of leadership. I’veobserved that there is a bigdifference between thosewho dream and thosewhomake their dreams cometrue.AsNolanBushnell, founderofAtari, said, “Everyonegetsan idea in theshower.Butthesuccessfulonesgetoutoftheshower,dryoff,anddosomethingaboutit.”

Herearethestagesindevelopingasuccessfuldream,basedonmypersonalexperienceandobservation:

IThoughtItThewholeprocessbeginswiththeseedofanidea—avisionthatgrowsout

ofaheartfeltdesire.Manypeoplediscovertheirdreaminaflashofinsightafterworking in an area for years. Some receive it in a time of prayer. Others aremotivatedbyaneventfromtheirpast.Maybeyou’vealreadyexperiencedthe“IThoughtIt”stageanddiscoveredyourdream.Ifyouhaven’t,readthefollowingfour steps thatwill helpyouclear away the clutter anddiscover (or fine-tune)yourdream:

1.Believeinyourabilitytosucceed.

As I said before, no person can consistently perform in a manner that isinconsistent with the way he sees himself. You must believe that you cansucceed if youare to succeed.Youmust acknowledge to yourself that you’recapable of discovering your dream in order to find it.You don’t have to be agenius,lucky,orrich.Youjustneedtobelieveitcanhappen.

2.Getridofyourpride.People full of themselves usually don’t have much room left over for a life-changingdream.That’swhyit’ssoimportanttogetridofpride;itcankeepyoufrom trying new things or asking questions because you are afraid of lookingstupid.Itmakesyouwanttostayinyourcomfortzoneinsteadofstrivingfortheend zone. Pride puts your focus on appearance instead of potential. And itpreventsyoufromtakingrisks—somethingyoumustdotodiscoveryourdream.Ifyouareapridefulperson, it’s time to let goofyourpride andgrabholdofyourdream.

3.Cultivateconstructivediscontent.Discontentisthedrivingforcethatmakespeoplesearchfortheirdreams.Thinkabout it: Every invention registered in the United States Patent Office is theresult of creative discontent. Each inventor, not satisfiedwith something as itwas, found a way to constructively overcome her dissatisfaction, either bycreatingsomethingneworbyimprovingwhatalreadyexisted.

The same is true for you. Complacency never brings success. You mustdesire positive change.Only constructive discontentwillmotivate you to findyourpurposeandgrowtoreachyourpotential.

4.Escapefromhabit.Ahabitcanbedefinedassomethingyoudowithout thinking.Habitcankilladreambecausewhenyoustopthinking,youstopquestioninganddreaming.Youbegintoacceptwhatiswithoutconsideringwhatcouldbe.Habitcancauseyouto go through the motions rather than think about the possibilities. It slowlyclosesthedooronpotential.

Examineallthethingsyou’recurrentlydoingbyrote.Thenshakethingsup.Looktoyourhorizons.Whatdoyoureallycareabout?Whatareyoucurrentlydoing that doesn’t propel you in the direction of your purpose, develop yourpotential,orhelpotherpeople?Startmakingchanges.Becreative.Breakoutof

arutandstartsearchinginsideyourselfforyourdream.

ICaughtItThemomentyoudiscoveryourdream—thethingyouwerecreatedtodo—is

anincredibleexperience.Butthataloneisnotenoughtotakeyouonthesuccessjourney.Thedevelopmentofasuccessfuldreamisaprocess.Andthenextstepof development requires you to invest in your dream emotionally. It needs togrowbeyondyourthoughtsandcarryoverintoyourfeelings.

ISoughtItAn old Italian proverb says, “Between saying and doing, many a pair of

shoesiswornout.”Lotsofpeoplehavedreams.Andmanyofthemhavestrongfeelings about them. But what separates the developer of a successful dreamfromameredaydreameriscommittedaction.Betweenthe“ICaughtIt”and“ISought It” stages,dreamsdon’tdie—they fadeaway. It takeshunger, tenacity,and commitment to see a dream through until it becomes reality. Once youdiscoveryourdream,goafterit.

AFewShotItIfadreamfaces the riskof fadingawaybefore itgets to the“ISought It”

stage,thenthedangerafterthatstageisthatitwillbesuddenlyanddeliberatelyshot down.During its early stages, a dream is an incredibly fragile thing. Ascorporateleadershipexpert,managementconsultant,andfriendBobbBiehlsays,“Dreamsarelikesoapbubblesfloatingclosetojaggedrocksonawindyday.”

Dreamsareso fragileat this stageof the journeybecause theyaresonew.Wehaven’thad timeyet to let themgrowordevelop.They’renotestablished,andtheydon’thaveatrackrecordyet.Whenaseedlingoakisonlyayearold,achildcantearitoutbytheroots.Butonceit’shadsometimetobecomefirmlyestablished,eventheforceofahurricanecan’tknockitdown.

Dreams are also more easily shot down at this point because if they areattacked,close friendsor familymembersare theusualattackers since they’rethe only ones who know about them. Our hopes and desires may be able toweatherthecriticismofastranger,buttheyhaveamoredifficulttimesurvivingwhenunderminedbyalovedone.

IGotIt

Mostpeoplehavenoideahowclosetheyaretobreakingthroughandlivingtheirdreams,toreachingthe“IGotIt”stage.Successisachievedininches,notmiles. For example, the average baseball player in major-league baseball hitsabout.250.Anotherwaytosayitisthathegetsahitonceforeveryfourtimeshe bats. Someone with average fielding skills who bats .250 can play in themajorleagues,butheprobablywon’tberememberedafterhehasleftthegame.

Contrast thatwith someone likeTonyGwynn,who spent his entire careerwiththeSanDiegoPadres.Heisconsideredoneofthebesthittersinbaseball.HewoneightNationalLeaguebattingchampionshipsinthetwentyseasonsheplayed.AndonAugust6,2000,hebecamethe22ndplayerinhistorytocollect3,000 hits. In 2007, hewas elected to theNational Baseball Hall of Fame inCooperstown,NewYork.

If you didn’t know baseball, you might expect that in order to be assuccessfulashewas,hewouldbetwiceasgoodathittingtheballastheaverageplayer.Butthat’snotthecase.Tonyhadalifetimebattingaverageof.338.Thatmeanshegotahitoneineverythreetimesatbat.Youwouldhavetogotothreebaseball games before you saw the one extra hit Tony got compared to theaverageplayerhitting.250.

Your ability to live your dream may be closer than you think. You needdedicationandperseverance,andyouhavetosurvivethedoubtsandcriticismsofpeopleclosesttoyou,butyoucanmakeittothe“IGotIt”stage.Andwhenyou do, you’ll share the opinion of Super Bowl–winning quarterback JoeNamath,whosaid,“Whenyouwin,nothinghurts.”

SomeOthersFoughtItUnfortunately, not everyone will want to celebrate with you when your

dreambeginstobecomeareality.Ithinkyou’llfindthatpeoplewillfallintotwogroups:

1.Firefighters:Thesepeoplewanttoputoutthefirethatyouhaveforyourdream.Nomatterwhatyou’refor—they’reagainstit.Thewaythesekindsofpeoplecriticizeeverything,you’dthinktheygetpaidforit.Andnothingyoudoorsaycanchangetheirattitude.

2.Firelighters:Thesepeoplewanttohelpyouandarewillingtodowhattheycantostoketheflamesofyoursuccessevenhigher.

Whenyou’retryingtorealizeyourdream,sometimesyou’llbesurprisedbywhichpeoplewant to lightyour fire andwhichoneswant toput it out.Somepeopleyouconsiderfriendswill fightyoursuccess.Otherswillsupportyou inwaysyoudidn’texpect.Butnomatterwhichpeoplecriticizeyouorhowtheydoit,don’tletthemtakeyourfocusoffyourdream.

ITaughtItAnydreamworthlivingisworthsharingwithothers.Afterall, that’sabig

partofwhatitmeanstobesuccessful.Butthat’snothoweveryonelooksatit.I’ve observed that when people realize their dream, they react in one of twoways.Someholdthedreamclose,tryingtokeepallofitforthemselves.Whentheydo,theirdreamoftenshrinks.Becausetheyhaven’tsharedit,theyhavetosustain it all by themselves. Everything depends on them. They don’t get thehelpofothers,thebenefitsofteamwork,orthejoyofsharingtheirblessings.

Butthepersonwhosharesherdreamgetstowatchitgrow.Thesynergyofsharedideasoftentakesittoawholenewlevel.Thedreambecomesgreaterthanthepersonlaunchingiteverimagineditcouldbe.Andtheotherswhoparticipateinitoftenadoptitastheirowndream.

Whenyouarewillingtosharethedreambyincludingothers,thereisalmostnolimittowhatyoucanaccomplish.Theimpossiblecomeswithinreach.

OthersBoughtItIf you live your dream and successfully share it, others will buy in to it.

Peoplehaveadesiretofollowaleaderwithagreatdream.Nowmorethanever,peoplearelookingforheroes.Unfortunately,manyarelookinginplacesthatarelikelytoleavethemdisappointed:sports,music,movies,andtelevision.Butrealheroesareleaderswhocanhelpothersachievesuccess,peoplewhotakeotherswiththem.Anditallbeginswithadream.AsWinifredNewmansaid,“Visionistheworld’smostdesperateneed.Therearenohopelesssituations,onlypeoplewhothinkhopelessly.”

WhenIwasapastor,Ididmanythingstosharemydreamwithothers.Forawhile,IevencarriedcopiesofacardthatIwouldgivetopeopletoremindthemoftheimportanceofthedreamandhowmuchIwantedthemtobeapartofit.Here’swhatitsaid:

IHaveaDream

History tells us that in every age there comes a timewhen leadersmust come forth tomeet the needs of the hour. Therefore, there is nopotential leader who does not have an opportunity to better mankind.Those around him also have that same privilege. Fortunately, I believethatGodhassurroundedmewiththosewhowillacceptthechallengeofthishour.

Mydreamallowsmeto...

•GiveupatanymomentallthatIaminordertoreceiveallthatIcanbecome.

•SensetheinvisiblesoIcandotheimpossible.•TrustGod’sresourcessincethedreamisbiggerthanallmyabilitiesandacquaintances.

•Continuewhendiscouraged,forwherethereisnofaithinthefuture,thereisnopowerinthepresent.

•Attractwinnersbecausebigdreamsdrawbigpeople.•Seemyselfandmypeopleinthefuture.Ourdreamisthepromiseofwhatweshallonedaybe.

Yes,Ihaveadream.It’saGod-givenone.Itisgreaterthananyofmygifts. It isas largeas theworld,but itbeginswithone.Won’tyou joinme?

GofortheDream

If you haven’t already discovered your dream, you’re probably realizing howmuchyou’vebeenmissing.Adreamwillprovideyouwithareasontogo,apathto follow, and a target to hit. Besides, asYogi Berra remarked, “If you don’tknowwhereyouaregoing,youmightwindupsomeplaceelse.”Wouldn’tyousayit’sabouttimeyougotstarted?

Severalyearsago,Isawasegmentontelevision’s60Minutesinwhichthen-anchorMikeWallace was interviewing one of the Sherpa guides from NepalwhohelpsclimbersreachthetopofMountEverest.

“Whydoyoudoit?”Wallaceasked.“Tohelp others do something they cannot do on their own,” answered the

guide.“Buttherearesomanyrisks,somanydangers,”saidWallace.“Whydoyou

insistontakingpeopletothetopofthemountain?”Theguidesmiledandsaid,“It’sobviousthatyou’veneverbeentothetop.”Going to the top takes a dreamand a strong commitment.The greater the

journey, the more committed you have to be to take it. As you prepare tocontinueonyoursuccessjourney,makeacommitmenttoyourself tofindyourdream and follow it. The road that lies before you is one that I know wellbecauseImadethatcommitmentandhavetraveledonthejourneyformorethanfortyyears. Iwill travelalongsideyouuntilyouare ready tocarryonwithoutme. But no matter how much help I can give, you won’t make it without acommitment.

Take a look at the statement below.Examinewhat itwillmean to commityourselftothejourney,andsignit.Thenbepreparedtobeginlivingyourdream.

CommitmenttotheSuccessJourney

Icommitmyselftodaytobeingsuccessful.Irecognizethatsuccessisaprocess,notadestination.IwilldiscovermydreamanddowhatIcanto...

Knowmypurposeinlife,Growtoreachmymaximumpotential,andSowseedsthatbenefitothers.

Althoughtheroadmaygetbumpy,anditmayrequiremetolearnanewwayof lookingat life, Iwilldowhat it takesandpersevere. Iwill take thesuccessjourney.

Signature:_______________________________Date:__________________________________

Thepotential for greatness lives within each of us. The key to achievinggreatnessisfoundwhenwediscoverandthendevelopourdreams.Youareonyourway!

StepstoTakeAlongtheWay

WhereWouldILikeToGo?

Togetstartedonthesuccessjourney,thefirststepyouneedtotakeistodiscoveryourdream.Set asideablockof time—severalhoursonaweekendormaybeevenadayofffromworkorawayfromthekids—toworkthroughthefollowingmaterialashonestlyasyoucan.

1.MyPast:Nodreamgrowsoutofavacuum.Itgrowsoutofalife.HenryFordsaid,“Beforeanythingelse,gettingreadyisthesecretofsuccess.”Whetheryouknowitornot,yourlifehasbeenpreparingyouforyourdream.Answerthesequestionstoseehowyou’vebeenprepared:

a)Whataremygreatesttalents?

[YourResponse]

b)Whatismygreatestcharacterstrength?

[YourResponse]

c)WhatdootherswhohavenothingtogainsaythatI’mgoodat?

[YourResponse]

d)Whathavemyuniquelifeexperiencespreparedmetodo?

[YourResponse]

e)Whatismygreatestpassion—thethingIlovedoingsomuchthatIwouldgladlydoitforfree?

[YourResponse]

f)WhatissoimportanttomethatIwouldbewillingtodieforit?

[YourResponse]

2.MyPresent:Somepeoplelookattheircurrentcircumstancesandbecomediscouragedbecausethey’renotwheretheywanttobe.Butlookingatthepresentispartoftheprocessofdiscoveringyourdream.Answerthefollowingquestionstohelpyouseethepotentialofthepresent:

a)Whatareallofmycurrentresources?(Includetime,money,people,opportunities,etc.)

[YourResponse]

b)WhatcurrentcircumstancescanIpositivelychangetofreeupmoreresourcesorcreatemoreopportunities?

[YourResponse]

c)Whatisuniquetomycurrentcircumstances—myplaceinhistory,whereIlive,whereIwork,thepeopleIknow?

[YourResponse]

3.MyFuture:Ihopethatyou’rebeginningtoseeapatterncreatedbyyourpastandpresentcircumstances.Nowit’stimeyouaskedyourself:IfIcouldbeanythingIwanted,whatwouldIbe?Writethatanswerhere:

Inlaterchapters,wewilltalkaboutwhatitwilltaketostartmovingyouclosertoachievingyourdream.

W

3

HowFarCanIGo?

heneverItraveltoWashington,D.C.,ItrymybesttogettotheSmithsonianInstitution.Ofall theexhibits,myfavoriteshowsavideoclipofaspeech

madebyPresidentJohnF.KennedytoCongressonMay25,1961.EverytimeIseeit,Igetgoosebumps.ItrecordsthemomentthatKennedycalledAmericatoexecutethemostincredibleandimprobablereal-lifejourneyeverconceived.Hecast the vision for the achievement of an idea that had beenwritten about asearly as a.d. 160 byGreek satirist Lucian of Samosata and thought about foreighteen hundred years since then. Kennedy said, “I believe that this nationshouldcommititselftoachievingthegoalbefore[the]decadeisout,oflandingamanonthemoonandreturninghimsafelytoearth.”

Backinthelate1950sandearly1960s,AmericawasinaspaceracewiththeSovietUnion,andwewerefallingwaybehind.IwasabouttenyearsoldwhenweheardthattheUSSRhadlaunchedthefirstsatellite,Sputnik,intoorbit.ItfeltlikegoingtobedonenightasthebestathleteinyourschoolandwakingupthenextmorningonlytofindoutthatBabeRuthwasthenewkidinclass.Whatashock! Then they launched Sputnik II, which carried the first space traveler,Laikathedog.Andin1959,theysentoffLunaI, the firstspacecraft toescapethe earth’s gravitational field and fly by themoon. The Soviets seemed to belanding one knockout punch after another. They also sent the first man intospace,andoneoftheirshipsmadethefirstorbitoftheearth.TheSovietswerewinning.

Inthemidstofthehopelessnessofthesituation,PresidentJohnF.Kennedycameforward,stoodbeforetheUnitedStatesCongress,andsaidwewouldseeaman on the moon by the end of the decade. Most people thought it was

impossible.EvensomeofthepeoplerunningNASAthoughtitcouldn’tbedone.The technology required tomake it happendidn’t exist, and theyweren’t surethat it could exist. But that didn’t stop Kennedy. He not only made theimpossibleourgoal,buthegaveitadeadline.

Despiteallthedoubts,onJuly16,1969,Apollo11liftedofffrompad39atKennedySpaceCenterandbeganajourneyof244,930milestothemoon.Fourdayslater,NeilArmstrongandBuzzAldrinJr.landedthelunarmoduleEagleonthe surface of the moon, and 500 million people watched on television asArmstrong took his first step into the powder-fine gray dust of themoon anduttered his famous line, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap formankind.”Wehaddoneit.Wehadachievedtheimpossible!It’sunfortunatethatPresidentKennedydidn’tlivetoseeit.

YourAttitudeDeterminesYourAltitude

That tripshouldn’thavebeenpossible,but ithappened. Incredibly, theSoviets(andnowtheRussians),whoweresofaraheadofusin1961,stillhavenotputanyone on the moon. What propelled us to accomplish such a feat—and inrecordtime?Itwasn’tthestrengthofourtechnologyortheColdWarthreatofSovietsuperiority.Weputpeopleonthemoonbecausewebelievedwecoulddoit. In the blink of an eye, John F. Kennedy’s speech took the idea of a lunarlanding from an impossible dream to an obtainable target. It hardly matteredwherewewere technologically.Amoonlandingbecamearealitybecauseofachangeinattitude.Yousee,whenourattitudesoutdistanceourabilities,eventheimpossiblebecomespossible.

I’vetalkedtopeoplewhoworkedinthespaceprogram,andtheyhavetoldme that the atmospherewas electricwith expectation back then.Every day astheyworked,onethoughtwasforemostintheirminds:We’reputtingamanonthemoon!Thepresident’sgoalcontained thedreamandprompted thepositiveattitudeneededtomakeithappen.

That’sthepowerofadreamcoupledwiththerightattitude.Ifyouhaveonewithouttheother,youcan’tgoveryfaronthejourney.

•Adreamwithoutapositiveattitudeproducesadaydreamer.•Apositiveattitudewithoutadreamproducesapleasantpersonwhocan’tprogress.

•Adreamtogetherwithapositiveattitudeproducesapersonwithunlimitedpossibilitiesandpotential.

Togofar(andintherightdirection),youneedboth.Kennedyknewthat.A dream by itself won’t do it. In fact, your attitude isn’t just a necessary

contributor for you to be successful. Your attitude—not intelligence, talent,education, technicalability,opportunity,orevenhardwork—isthemainfactorthatdetermineswhetheryouwill liveyourdream.Attitudedetermineshowfaryoucangoonthesuccessjourney.

WhoandWhereYouAreTodayResultfromYourAttitude

Yourattitudenotonlydirectsyourfuturebutalsoaffectswhoyouaretoday.Thechoicesyou’vemadeup tonowhavecomeas theresultofyourattitude.Yourattitude determines your actions, and your actions determine youraccomplishment.Youmayormaynotliketothinkaboutit,butthepersonyouareandwhereyouaretodayaretheresultofyourattitude.

Whenyou’reborn,everythingisoutofyourcontrol:Youdon’tchoosewhoyour biological parents are, when and where you’re born, or any of yourcircumstances. But as you grow older, you start making decisions, and youbecomeaccountableforwhathappensinyourlife.Inadolescence,thenumberofdecisionsyoumakemultiplies,andbyaboutthetimeyoureachtheendofyourseconddecade,your choices are all yourown,whetheryou like to admit it ornot. Right now, if you’re over twenty-one, you’re completely responsible foryourchoices—andyourattitude.

YourCurrentAttitudeIsaChoice

Mostpeoplewithbadattitudesusuallypointtosomethingotherthanthemselvesto explain their problems. But you can’t rightfully blame your attitude onanythingoranyonebutyourself.It’snotwhathappenstoyoubutwhathappensinyouthatcounts.Yourattitudeisnotbasedon:

•Circumstances:Youmaynotbeabletocontrolwhathappenstoyou,but

youarecompletelyresponsibleforyourreactiontowhathappenstoyou.•Upbringing:Thepastisgoneandoutsideyourcontrol.Youareresponsiblefornotallowingittocontrolyouinthepresent.

•Limitations:Sinceeveryonefaceslimitationsofsomekind—whetherlackoftalent,limitedmoney,fewopportunities,orpoorappearance—youneedtolearntolivewiththem.AsRobertSchullersaid,yourlimitationsshouldbeguidelines,notstopsigns.Theyshoulddirectandguideyourpathonthejourney,notpreventyoufromtakingit.

•Others:Noonebutyouisresponsibleforthechoicesyoumaketoday.Youmayhavebeenhurtorabusedinthepast,butit’suptoyoutoovercomethatinjury—justasyouwouldaphysicalone—andmovebeyondit.

Thetruthisthatanyone,nomatterhowgoodthecircumstancesare,canfinda reason to have a negative attitude. And everyone, no matter how bad thecircumstancesare,canfindawaytomaintainagoodattitude.

In his bookGo for theMagic, PatWilliams recounted a story told by St.LouissportswriterBobBroegaboutbaseballHallofFameplayerStanMusial,whowas known as one of the game’smost consistent players.One daywhenMusial was playing for the St. Louis Cardinals, a teammate came into theclubhousewhistling.HeturnedtoStanandsaid,“Ifeelgreat.Myhomelifeishappy.I’minagroove.IfeellikeI’mgoingtogettwohitstoday.Everfeellikethat,Stan?”

Smiling,Musiallookedathimandsaid,“Everyday!”Oneofthegreatestdiscoveriesyoucanevermakeisthatyoucanchange.No

matterwhereyouwereyesterdayorhownegativeyourattitudeshavebeeninthepast,youcanbemorepositivetoday.Andthatmakesanincredibledifferenceinyourpotentialandyourlife.

YourAttitudeDeterminesHowYouApproachtheJourney

Severalyearsago,anexperimentwasperformedinaschoolintheSanFranciscoBay area. A principal called in three teachers and said, “Because you threeteachersarethefinest in thesystemandyouhavethegreatestexpertise,we’regoingtogiveyouninetyselectedhigh-IQstudents.We’regoingtoletyoumove

thesestudents through thisnextyearat theirpaceandseehowmuch theycanlearn.”

Thethreefacultymembers,thestudents,andthestudents’parentsthoughtitwasagreat idea.And theyall especiallyenjoyed the schoolyear.By the timeschool ended, the students had achieved from 20 to 30 percentmore than theotherstudentsintheentireSanFranciscoBayarea.

At the end of the year, the principal called in the three teachers and toldthem, “I have a confession to make. You did not have ninety of the mostintellectually prominent students.Theywere run-of-the-mill students.We tookninetystudentsatrandomfromthesystemandgavethemtoyou.”

Theteachersnaturallyconcludedthat theirexceptional teachingskillsmusthavebeenresponsibleforthestudents’greatprogress.

“Ihaveanotherconfession,”saidtheprincipal.“You’renotthebrightestoftheteachers.Yournameswerethefirstthreedrawnoutofahat.”

Why,then,didthestudentsandteachersperformatsuchanexceptionallevelfor an entire year? The answer can be found in their attitudes. They had anattitude of positive expectation—the teachers and students believed inthemselves and one another. They performedwell because they believed theycould.1

Your attitude toward life determines life’s attitude toward you. How youthinkaffectsyourapproachtothesuccessjourneyinapowerfulway.

WhatIbelieveaboutlifedeterminesHowIperceivelife,whichdeterminesWhatIreceivefromlife.

Ifyouexpecttheworst,youwillcertainlygetit.Ifyouexpectthebest,evenwhennegativecircumstancescomeyourway—andtheywill,becauseapositiveattitudedoesn’tstopthem—youcanmakethebestofitandkeepgoing.

TheBetterYourAttitudeIs,theFartherYouWillGo

Ifyoutalktopeopleinthetoporganizationsacrossthecountry,thehigheryougo, the better the attitudes you’ll discover.AFortune500 study found that 94percent of all the executives surveyed attributed their successmore to attitude

thananyother factor.2That just goes to showyou that if youwant to go far,haveagoodattitude.

Attitudeaffectsmorethanjustyourabilitytosucceedinbusiness.Itaffectseveryaspectofyourlife—evenyourhealth.IoncereadanarticleaboutastudyatKing’sCollegeHospitalinLondon,England.Itwasconductedamongcancerpatientswho had undergonemastectomies.Researchers at the hospital trackedtheprogressoffifty-sevenwomen.Oftheoneswhohadapositiveattitudewhentheywerediagnosedwithcancer,sevenoutoftenwerealivetenyearslater.Butof theoneswhofeltasenseofhopelessnessduringdiagnosis,eightof tenhaddied.3Andongoingmedicalresearchcontinuestopresentsimilarfindings.Youcangoalotfartherinlife—andlivelonger—withagoodattitudethanyoucanwithoutone.

YourAttitudeMeanstheDifferenceBetweenSuccessandFailure

Agoodattitudemakesitpossibleforyoutobesuccessful.Itgivesyoufuelsothat youwant to pursue your purpose, grow to your potential, and sow seedsbenefiting others. It can give you the staying power to improve. But it alsomakesthejourneymoreenjoyablealongtheway—nomatterwhereittakesyou.AsformerUCLAbasketballcoachJohnWoodensaid,“Thingsturnoutthebestforthepeoplewhomakethebestofthewaythingsturnout.”

AwhilebackIwasplayinggolfwithmyfriendZigZiglar,oneof themostpositivepeople I’veevermet.Andhe toldmeastoryaboutaboynamedJeb.EverydaywhenJebwasgrowingup,hismotherwouldcomeintohisroomandwakehimat5:30,saying,“Jeb,it’sgoingtobeagreatday.”

Butthatwasn’twhat theboywantedtohearat that timeinthemorning.Itwashisjobeverydaytogooutsidefirstthingandgetcoaltostartthefireandheatthehouse.Andhehatedit.Onedaywhenshecameinandsaid,“It’sgoingto be a great day,” Jeb snapped, “No,Mom, it’s going to be a lousy day. I’mtired. The house is cold. And I don’t want to get up and get the coal. It’s acrummyday!”

“Sweetheart,”shereplied,“Ididn’tknowyoufeltthatway.Whydon’tyoujustgobacktobedandgetsomemoresleep?”

Jebthoughthehadhitpaydirt.“Whydidn’tIthinkofthisbefore?”heasked

himself.Hewokeupabouttwohourslater.Thehousewaswarm,andhecouldsmell

breakfastcooking.Herolledoutofbed,putonhisclothes,andwentouttothekitchen table. “Boy, am I hungry,” he said. “I’m all rested up. Breakfast isalreadycooked.Thisisgreat.”

“Sweetheart,” his mother said, “you don’t get any food today. Rememberhowyousaiditwasgoingtobeaterribleday?Asyourmother,I’mgoingtodomybesttomakeitaterribledayforyou.Yougobacktoyourbedroomandstaythereallday.You’renotallowedtocomeout,andyoudon’tgetanythingtoeat.I’llseeyoutomorrowmorningat5:30.”

Jebwalkeddejectedlybacktohisroomandgotintobed.Andhewasabletogo back to sleep—for about an hour. But there was only somuch sleeping apersoncoulddo.Hespentthedaymopingaroundhisroom,gettinghungrierandhungrier.Andwhen it finallygotdark,hewentback tobedagainand tried tosleep.

Hewokeuphoursbeforedaylight,andheputonhisclothes.Hewassittingon the edgeof thebedwhenhismotheropened thedoor tohis roomat 5:30.Beforeshecouldsayaword,Jebjumpedupandsaid,“Mom,it’sgoingtobeagreatday!”

WhatwastrueforJebisalsotrueforyou.Youcanchangeyourattitude.Youmay not be able to change other things about yourself, but you can definitelymakeyourattitudemorepositive. Ifyou try,you’llsoondiscover that thebesthelpinghandisattheendofyourownarm.

SevenSignsofaGreatAttitude

What does it mean to have a great attitude? You’ve probably heard the oldexpressionthatapositivepersonseesaglassashalffullinsteadofhalfempty.That’s true,but it tellsonlya smallpartof the story. Ibelievepositivepeoplesharesevenqualities:

1.BeliefinSelfHerbTrueobserved, “Manypeople succeedwhenothersdonot believe in

them.Butrarelydoesapersonsucceedwhenhedoesnotbelieveinhimself.”Hewasexactlyright.Positiveself-worthisaprimecharacteristicofapersonwithagoodattitude.

Anyonewhodoesn’tbelieveinherselfexpectstheworstnotonlyofherselfbut also of others. If you have low self-confidence, you will likely have tostruggle to focusonanythingbutyourselfbecauseyouwillalwaysbeworriedabouthowyoulook,whatothersthinkaboutyou,andwhetheryou’regoingtofail. But when you believe in yourself, you’re free to see yourself in a moreobjectivelightandfocusonimprovingyourselfandreachingyourpotential.Andthatmakesallthedifference.

2.WillingnesstoSeetheBestinOthersI’veneverknownapositivepersonyetwhodidn’tlovepeopleandtrytosee

thegoodinthem.AndaneffectivewaytohelpyouseethebestinothersistodowhatIcallputtinga“10”onpeople’sheads.Here’swhatImean:Weallhaveexpectationsofothers.Butwecanchoosewhethertheexpectationsarenegativeor positive. We can think that others are totally worthless or absolutelywonderful.Whenwemakethedecisiontoexpectthebest,andwelookforthegoodinsteadofthebad,we’reseeingthemasa“10.”

Theabilitytodothiswithothersissignificantforacoupleofreasons.First,youusuallysee inotherswhatyouexpect tosee. Ifyouconstantlyexpectandsee good things in others, it’s much easier to maintain a positive attitude.Second,peoplegenerallyrisetomeetyourlevelofexpectation.Ifyoutreatthempositively,theytendtotreatyouthesameway.Ifyouexpectthemtogetthejobdoneandyoushowyourconfidenceinthem,theyusuallysucceed.Andontherelativelyrareoccasionswhenpeopledon’ttreatyouwell,it’seasyforyounotto take their behavior personally because you knowyou have done your best,andyoucanmoveonwithoutlettingitaffectyourattitude.

3.AbilitytoSeeOpportunityEverywhereGreekphilosopherPlutarchwrote,“Asbeesextracthoney fromthyme, the

strongest and driest of herbs, so sensible men often get advantage and profitfrom the most awkward circumstances.” No matter what the circumstances,positive people see opportunities everywhere. They understand thatopportunities aren’t based on luck or position.They are the result of the rightattitude.Opportunityexistswhereyoufindit.

4.FocusonSolutionsLikewise, peoplewith a positive attitude focus their time and attention on

solutions,notproblems.Justaboutanybodycanseeproblems.Thatdoesn’ttakeanything special. But positive people maintain a solution mind-set, seeing asolutionineveryproblemandapossibilityineveryimpossibility.

5.DesiretoGiveNothing has as much positive impact on people as giving to others. Karl

Menninger, psychiatrist, author, and one of the founders of the MenningerFoundation,said,“Generouspeoplearerarelymentallyillpeople.”Andtheyarealsorarelynegativepeople.PeoplewhohaveagivingspiritaresomeofthemostpositivepeopleIknow,becausegivingisthehighestlevelofliving.Theyfocustheirtimeandenergyonwhattheycangivetoothersratherthanwhattheycangetfromthem.Andthemorepeoplegive,thebettertheirattitudes.

Most unsuccessful people don’t understand this concept.They believe thathowmuchpeoplegiveandtheirattitudesaboutitarebasedonhowmuchtheyhave. But that’s not true. I know many people who have very little but aretremendousgivers.AndIknowpeoplewhohavebeenblessedwithmoney,goodfamilies,andwonderfulcareerswhoarestingyandsuspiciousofothers.It’snotwhat youhave thatmakes a difference. It’swhat youdowithwhat youhave.Andthatisbasedcompletelyonattitude.

6.PersistenceDonB.OwensJr. stated,“Manypeople fail in lifebecause theybelieve in

the adage: If you don’t succeed, try something else. But success eludes thosewho follow such advice . . . The dreams that have come true did so becausepeoplestucktotheirambitions.Theyrefusedtobediscouraged.Theyneverletdisappointmentgettheupperhand.Challengesonlyspurredthemontogreatereffort.” Those characteristics—the ability to stick with it, overcomediscouragement, and keep going in the face of disappointment—are all theresultsofagoodattitude.

Whenyouhaveapositiveattitude, it’s easier tobepersistent. Ifyou thinksuccessisjustaroundthecorner,youkeepgoing.Whenyoubelieveeverythingturnsoutforthebest,youdon’tmindalittlediscomfort.Andwheneverythinggoeshaywire,youremainpersistentifyouhaveapositiveattitude;afterall,youbelievehelpisalreadyontheway.

7.ResponsibilityforTheirLives

The final characteristic of positive people is their willingness to takeresponsibilityfortheirownlives.Unsuccessfulpeopleduckresponsibility.Butasuccessfulpersonunderstandsthatnothingpositivehappensuntilyou’rewillingtostepforwardandtakefullresponsibilityforyourthoughtsandactions.Onlywhenyou’re responsible foryourself canyou lookatyourselfhonestly, assessyourstrengthsandweaknesses,andbegintochange.

TopTipsforGettingYourAttitudeinTip-TopShape

IfIcouldshareonlyonethingthatIpossess,itwouldbemywayofthinking,forthatmore than anything else has helpedme themost on the success journey.Attitude has always beenmy greatest asset, and it can be yours too. AndrewCarnegieasserted,“Themanwhoacquirestheabilitytotakefullpossessionofhis own mind may take possession of anything else to which he is justlyentitled.”

If you’re constantly in a battle to keep your attitude positive, you can usesome help. Here are some tips to assist you in taking full possession of yourmindandmakingyourthinkingpositivelypowerful:

ClaimResponsibilities,NotRightsApredominantsourceofdiscontentamongpeopleiscausedbytheirfightto

secure their rights. Think about your situation.Have you ever beenwronged?Havetherebeentimeswhenyouhaven’tgotteneverythingyoudeserved?Youranswertothesequestionsisalmostcertainlyyes.Weliveinanimperfectworld,andbecauseofthat,aslongaswelive,wewon’tseeatimewheneverythingwedoisrewardedjustly.

So you’re faced with a decision. Are you going to spend your time andenergyonwhat shouldhavebeen, or are you going to focus onwhat canbe?Evenwhen truth and justice are on your side, youmaynever be able to rightyour wrongs. Continually fighting for your rights in an imperfect world canmake you resentful, angry, hateful, and bitter. These destructive emotions sapyour energy and make you negative. And besides, when you focus on yourrights,you’reoftenlookingbackwardratherthanforward.Youcan’tmakeanyprogresswhenyou’refacingthewrongway.GlennClarkremarked,“Ifyouwish

to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies,unforgiveness,selfishness,andfears.”

AssociatewithPositivePeopleCharles“Tremendous”Jonessaidthattheonlydifferencebetweenwhoyou

aretodayandthepersonyouwillbeinfiveyearswillcomefromthebooksyouread and the people you associate with. Who you spend your time withespecially influencesyourattitude.Theoldadage is true:birdsofa featherdoflocktogether.

Think about the people you spend your timewith.Although you are bornintoafamily,andyoumaynotbeabletochoosethepeopleyouworkwith,youcan choose your closest friends. If you choose negative friends, you are alsochoosing to have a negative attitude. But when you spend timewith positivepeople,youhelpyourselftoseethingsinabetterlight.HenryFordmaintained,“Mybest friend is the onewho brings out the best inme.”Think aboutwhatyourfriendsbringoutinyou,andifit’snotyourbest,itmightbetimeforyoutomakesomechanges.

Don’tTakeYourselfTooSeriouslyIheardastoryaboutthreebusinessprofessionalswhowerecomparingideas

onwhatitmeanttobeasuccess.“I’dsayIhadarrived,”saidthefirst,“ifIweresummonedtotheWhiteHouseforaprivate,personalmeetingwiththepresidentoftheUnitedStates.”

“To me,” said the second person, “success would mean meeting with thepresident in the Oval Office, having the hot line ring during our talk, andwatchingthepresidentignoreit.”

“No, you’ve both got it wrong,” said the third one. “You’re a success ifyou’reprivatelyconsultingwiththepresident,thehotlinerings,hepicksitup,andhesays,‘It’sforyou.’”

Theproblemwithmanyunsuccessfulpeopleisthattheytakethemselvestooseriously.They thinkof success in the sameway the threepeople in the storydid.But successdependsmoreonyourattitude than itdoesonhow importantyouthinkyouare.Lifeshouldbefun.Evenifyourjobisimportantandshouldbetakenseriously,thatdoesn’tmeanyoushouldtakeyourself seriously.You’llgo farther in life and have a better time doing it if you maintain a sense ofhumor,especiallywhenitcomestoyourself.

TakeActiontoChangeYourAttitudeThequalityofyourlifeandthedurationofyoursuccessjourneydependon

yourattitude,andyouaretheonlypersoninthisworldwiththepowertomakeitbetter.Dr.WilliamGlassermaintained, “If youwant to change attitudes, startwithachangeinbehavior.Inotherwords,begintoactthepart,aswellasyoucan, of thepersonyouwould ratherbe, thepersonyoumostwant tobecome.Gradually,theold,fearfulpersonwillfadeaway.”

Change requires action.Most peoplewait until they feel like it to changetheirattitudes.Butthatonlycausesthemtokeepwaitingbecausetheyhavethewholeprocessbackward.Ifyouwaituntilyoufeellikeit totrytochangeyourattitude,youwillneverchange.Youhavetoactyourselfintochanging.

AnactofyourwillWillleadyoutoaction;

AndyourpositiveactionWillleadtoapositiveattitude!

AccordingtoHenryFord,“Whetheryouthinkyoucanorthinkyoucan’t—youareright.”Themind,morethananythingelse,determineshowfaryoucangoonthesuccessjourney.

StepstoTakeAlongtheWay

HowFarCanIGo?

Now is a good time to take a look at your attitude.Respond to the followingquestionsandstatementsashonestlyasyoucan.

1.RightsorResponsibilities:WhichamImorelikelytothinkandtalktoothersabout?Iftheansweris“rights,”whatcanIdotochangethatattitude?

[YourResponse]

2.People:WhoisthemostpositivepersonIknow?Writehisorhernamebelow.Makeanappointmenttotalktothatpersonandaskwhatheorshedoestoremainpositive.

[YourResponse]

3.Stress:Namesomepositivewaysyoucanrelievestress,andschedulesometimeinthenextweektodoatleastoneofthem:

[YourResponse]

4.Humor:Duringthenextweek,tellatleastonepersonafunnystoryaboutsomethingthatyourecentlydidwrongoranincidentthatmadeyoulookfoolish.Enjoythejoketogether.(Ifthepersonisafriendandlooksshockedoruncomfortable,youmayhaveahistoryoftakingyourselftooseriously.)

[YourResponse]

5.AttitudeStatement:Writeapositiveattitudecreedforyourself,statingyourintentiontobecomeapositiveperson.

[YourResponse]

W

4

HowDoIGetTherefromHere?

hen was the last time you went for a Sunday drive? That’s not a verypopularactivitythesedays,butitsurewaswhenIwasgrowingup.Andit

was the favoriteactivityof theRaimeys, somewonderfulneighbors Ihadasakid.Mr.Raimeywouldsay,“Comeon,everybody.Let’spackupthecarandgoforaride,”asheroundedupthefamilyandoccasionallyaneighborkidlikemewho was playing over at their house. And off we would go. We lived inCircleville,Ohio,andourSundaydriveswouldtakeustoexoticplacessuchasLancaster,Chillicothe,orevenColumbus.Itseemedlikeagreatadventure.Mr.RaimeywoulddrivethedirtroadsandhighwaysthatwoundthroughthefarmsandfieldsofcentralOhio.Weneverknewforsurewhatwemightsee.

Those Sunday driveswere fun.And ifwewere lucky, aswewould comeacrossalittlecountrystoreonthehighway,Mr.Raimeywouldstopthecar,andwewouldallpileoutsothatheandMrs.RaimeycouldbuyeachofusaCokeoranicecream.Itwasawonderfulwaytospendanafternoon.Buttotellyouthetruth,overtheyears,I’vemetalotofpeoplewhotreat lifealotlikeaSundaydrive.Theyseemtobesaying,“Let’s justgoandwe’llseewhereweendup.”They’rewillingtoletlifetakethemanywhereitwantsto.I’mnoscientist,butI’venoticedthatgravitytendstopulleverythingdownward.Andwithoutsomeplanninganddirection,aperson’slifecandothesamething.

I love a good adventure as much as anyone, but I’m not willing to risksquanderingmypotentialornotfulfillingmypurposebysittingbackpassivelyandlettingthingshappenanyoldway.Lifeisnotadressrehearsal.Wegetonechance,andifwedon’tmakethemostofit,wecandonothingtogetourtimebackandtryagain.

That’soneofthereasonsmywife,Margaret,andIareplanners.Webelieveinpreparation formany things in life, including takinga trip.Wemapoutourwhole itinerarybecausewe alreadyknowabout theplaceswewant togo, thestoreswherewewanttoshop,andevensomeoftheplaceswewanttoeat.

Most travelers are onlymarginally organized when they take a trip. Theyusuallygettotheairportintheirdestinationcity,gathertheirluggage,trytogetdirectionstotheirhotel,checkin,gettheirbelongingssquaredaway,andrestup.Thentheytaketimetothinkaboutwhattheywanttodofirst.Bythetimetheygetstartedwiththefun,theyhavealreadylostabigpartoftheirday.

Incontrast,whenMargaretandItravel,wehaveasystemwherewesplitupthe duties so that we can get out of any airport quickly. Andwhile the othertravelersfromourflightaretryingtofigureoutwheretopickuptheirluggage,we’realreadyhalfwaytoourfirstsightseeingdestination.

That kind of planning has always paid off.We always make the most ofeverymoment.Wheneverwetalktoourfriendsaboutplacesincommonwherewe’vetraveled,weusuallyfindthatwe’vetakeninmostofthesightstheyhaveplusahandfulofotherinterestingplacestheywishedtheyhadn’tmissed.

Ifplanningcanbringsomany rewards, imagine thepowerofplanning thesuccess journey.Without planning, your progress in lifewill be like that of aSundaydriver,whomayseeafewinterestingsightsbutmissesoutonthetrulyincrediblejourneythatcouldhavebeenhis.

Typesof“Travelers”

As I talked to people about travel while working on this book, I asked themabout theirmethodof travelplanning. I foundout that atone timeor another,nearlyeveryonehadbeenonatriporganizedbysomeoneelse—atravelagent,relative,churchgroup,oremployer—butnearlyallofthempreferredtodomostof theplanning themselves.Some, likeStephanieWetzel,havebeenonpoorlyorganizedtripsbothinandoutofthecountryandhavevowedtodoalltheirownfutureplanning.

Themoreconfidenttravelersare,themorelikelytheyaretodomoreoftheirplanning.Butremarkably,whenitcomestoplanningthejourneyoflife,peopleareverydifferent.Didyouknow thatmostpeoplegivemore time toplanningtheir vacations than they do to planning their lives?Based on theway peoplespend their planning time, you’d think they put in twoweeks on the job each

yearandfiftyonvacation.Ifyoulookathowpeopleapproachtheplanningprocessforthejourneyof

life,Ithinkyou’llseethattheyfallintooneofthesecategories:

•VincetheVictim:Vinceisveryquicktotellyouthatit’snothisfaultthatheisn’tgettinganywhereinlife.Hedoesn’tmakeanyplansbecauseheisbusyfocusinghistimeandenergyonthingsoutsidehiscontrol—oftenfromhispast.Hefrequentlyblamesothersforhislackofprogressandseemstobemoreconcernedwithfindingexcusesforfailingthanwithseizingopportunitiestogrow.Inhisopinion,everyoneandeverythingotherthanhimselfhasmadehimwhoheistoday.

•Foot-DraggingFreddie:Freddieisn’tworriedtoomuchaboutthepast,andhedoesn’twanttothinkaboutthefuture.Heisfocusedonthepresent.Infact,helovesthepresentsomuchthatheiswillingtodoalmostanythingtomaintainthestatusquo.Hehateschangeandavoidsitatallcosts.Ifheismakinganyplans,they’retokeepthingsthewaytheyare.

•DebbietheDreamer:Debbielovestoplan,andshespendsalotofhertimedoingthat.Theproblemisthatsheneverturnsherplansintoaction.Sheoftenhasgreatideasandsaysshewantstobesuccessful,butshedoesn’twanttotakeanyrisks.Sheisnotwillingtopaythepricerequiredtomoveforwardonthesuccessjourney.

•MotivatedMichael:Finally,thereisMichael.Hefocusesthemajorityofhistimeonthepresent,doinghisbesttomaximizehispotential.Butonereasonheissoeffectivetodayisthathespentaportionofhistimeyesterdayplanning.Asaresult,heisfocusedonhispurpose,heisgrowingtowardhispotential,andheissowingseedsthatbenefitothersoutofthepositiveoverflowinhislife.

GoalsCreateaRouteforSuccess

Whatseparatesa“MotivatedMichael”fromalltheothers?Theansweristhathehasgoals.Hehas identifiedwhathewants toaccomplish tofulfillhispurposeandmaximizehispotential.Yousee,on thesuccess journey, thegoalsyousetbecomeyour route.And tomakeprogress,youneed that—notbecauseyou’rehopingor expecting to reach some final destination, but because it showsyouhowtotakethejourney.Onthesuccessjourney,thefirstpartofthetripisjustas

importantasthelastpart.Themainthingistobeconstantlymovingtowardyourdestination. And setting goals is the best way to make sure that continues tohappen.

Think about what is involved in taking a long trip by car. Let’s say, forexample,youdecide togo toChicago fromDallas. Ifyou’venever taken thattripbefore, youwouldn’t hop in the car and say, “I knowChicago isnorthofDallas, so I’ll take the first road I can find that goes north and start driving.”Thatwouldn’tmakeanysenseatall.No,firstyou’dlookatamap,considertheroutesyoucouldtake,anddecideonthebestone,basedonwhatkindsofroadsyouwanttotravelandwhatyou’dliketoseealongtheway.

Thejourneydoesn’ttakecareofitself.Youhavetoplanit.Ifyoujuststartdriving, there isno tellingwhereyou’llendup.Butwhenyouplanaheadandknowwhereyou’regoing,youcansuccessfullymakethejourney,andyoucandoitingoodtimeandenjoythetripalongtheway.

TakingthesuccessjourneyrequiresthesameattentiontodetailthatatriptoChicagowould. It needs tobebrokendown into smaller segments tobemoremanageable.Goalsare likepointsona travelplan.Eachone leads to thenextand takesyou farther in the rightdirection.Together, theysetyouonacoursethatleadstowardyourdestination.Andifyoutakeawrongturnalongtheway,youknowitandcaneasilymakeadjustmentstogetbackontrack.

When you have a plan and knowwhere you’re going, you can avoid thesituation thatSupremeCourt JusticeOliverWendellHolmes foundhimself in,accordingtoastoryIonceheard.Apparently,Holmeshadmisplacedhisticketwhile traveling on a train. He searched for it, obviously irritated, as theconductorstoodbywaiting.Finally,thetrainofficialtoldHolmes,“YourHonor,ifyoudonotfindyourticket,youcansimplymailit totherailroad.Weknowandtrustyou.”

Holmesreplied,“Iamnotsoconcernedaboutyourgettingmyticket.IjustwanttoknowwhereI’mgoing.”

Goalstakecareofthatkindofproblembecausetheymakeitpossibleforyoutoalwaysknowwhereyou’regoing.Withthem,youwillbeabletofulfillyourpurposeinlifeandliveyourdream.Herearesomeofthewaysgoalsdothat:

GoalsDrawOutYourSenseofPurposeThe number of people today who lack a strong sense of purpose is

astounding. Unfortunately, lack of direction seems to be growing, not

decreasing.Pulitzerprize–winningwriterKatherineAnnePorterobserved,“Iamappalledat theaimlessnessofmostpeople’s lives.Fiftypercentdon’tpayanyattentiontowheretheyaregoing;fortypercentareundecidedandwillgoinanydirection.Onlytenpercentknowwhattheywant,andevenallofthemdon’tgotowardit.”

Goals give you something concrete to focus on, and that has a positiveimpactonyouractions.AsJamesAllensaid,“Youwillbecomeassmallasyourcontrollingdesire,asgreatasyourdominantaspiration.”Goalshelpyoufocusyourattentiononyourpurposeandmakeityourdominantaspiration.Theyhelpyouknowwhereyou’regoing.

GoalsGiveYou“Go”MillionaireindustrialistAndrewCarnegiesaid,“Youcannotpushanyoneup

theladderunlessheiswillingtoclimbhimself.”Thesameistrueofapersononthe success journey: she won’t go forward unless she is motivated to do so.Goals can help provide thatmotivation. PaulMyer commented, “Noone everaccomplishes anything of consequencewithout a goal . . . Goal setting is thestrongesthumanforceforself-motivation.”

Thinkaboutit.Whatisoneofthegreatestmotivatorsintheworld?Success.When you take a large activity (such as your dream) and break it down intosmaller,moremanageableparts(goals),yousetyourselfupforsuccessbecauseyou make what you want to accomplish obtainable. And each time youaccomplishasmallgoal,youexperiencesuccess.That’smotivating!Accomplishenoughof thesmallgoals,andyou’llbe takingamajor step towardachievingyourpurposeanddevelopingyourpotential.

Goalsnotonlyhelpyoudevelop initialmotivationbymakingyourdreamsobtainable, but they also help you continue to bemotivated—and that createsmomentum.Onceyougetgoingonthesuccessjourney,itwillbeveryhardtostopyou.Theprocessissimilartowhathappenswithatrain.Gettingitstartedisthe toughestpartof its trip.Whilestandingstill,a traincanbepreventedfrommoving forward by one-inch blocks of wood under each of the locomotive’sdrivewheels.However,onceatraingetsuptospeed,notevenasteel-reinforcedconcretewallfivefeetthickcanstopit.

GoalsGetYourFocusonImprovement,NotActivityAs I’vementioned before,most unsuccessful people cling to the idea that

successisadestination.Bynow,you’rebeginningtoseethatsuccesstrulyisajourney.Butdon’tallowthatknowledgetomakeyoubelievethatactivityalonecanmakeyousuccessful.Itdoesn’t.Therealkeytosuccessandtoreachingyourpotentialliesinyourabilitytocontinuallyimprove.Activityalonedoesnothingfor you. It can distract you from reaching your potential if it becomes asubstituteforimprovement.Butwhenyousettherightgoalsandworktoreachthem insteadof simply stayingbusy, improvement isnotonlyobtainable—it’sinevitable.

GoalsCreateMileMarkersofProgressImentionedbeforethatwhenyouhavegoals,youarequicklyabletoknow

whenyouhavegottenoff track.Each timeyoureachagoal,youcannotonlytellthatyou’remakingprogress,butyoucanalsoseehowfaryouhavetraveled.Goalsarelikemilemarkersonthesuccessjourney.

Peoplehaveaninnateneedtoknowwhatkindofprogress they’remaking.Margaret and I got to see a vivid example of thiswhenwe took a long flighttogether toAsia.Whilewewereontheplane, thescreensthatordinarilyshowmoviesandpreflightsafetyinformationwereusedtoprojectalargemapoftheworld,andtheyshowedthecurrentpositionofourplane.Astimewentby,andwewatchedthelittleplaneonthescreenmakeitswayacrossthePacificOcean,wehadavisualreminderofhowmuchprogressweweremaking.

CreatingYourOwnRoadMap

Whenyoucommityourselftoyourdreamandexpressitinachievablegoals,youprovide yourself with a visual reminder of where you’re going and how youhopetogetthere.It’spartofthesuccessprocess:

Yourdreamdeterminesyourgoals.Yourgoalsmapoutyouractions.Youractionscreateresults.

Andtheresultsbringyousuccess.

Tomakethesuccessjourney,youhavetostartwithadream.Butthatdreamwillbecomearealityonlyifyoubridgethegapbetweenintentionsandactions

byidentifyingaseriesofgoals.Sohowdoyougetstartedintheprocessofplottinggoalsonyourroadmap

forsuccess?JustfollowthisROADMAP:

RecognizeYourDreamEverything startswith your dream. It’s an expression of your life purpose

and determines what it means for you to reach your potential. If you canarticulateyourdreamclearly,thenyoucancreateamapforyourjourney.Ifyoucan’t,thetripwillbenearlyimpossible.Ifyouhavecompletedthequestionsinthe“StepstoTakeAlongtheWay”sectionattheendofchapter2,thenyou’rereadytobegintheprocessofplottingyourroadmap.Ifyouhaven’t,gobackanddo itnow.Youwon’tbe successfuluntilyouknowwhereyouwant togo.AsPresidentWoodrowWilsonstated,“Wegrowbydreams.”

ObserveYourStartingPlaceIt’struethatyoucan’tbeginthesuccessjourneyuntilyouknowwhereyou

want to go.But you also can’t be successful if you don’t knowwhere you’restartingfrom.Bothpiecesofinformationarenecessarytomakethetrip.AsEricHoffer,known as the “longshoreman philosopher,” said, “To become differentfromwhatwe are,wemust have someawareness ofwhatwe are” (emphasisadded).

Startbyexaminingyourselfashonestlyasyoucan.Lookatyourstrengths,weaknesses, experiences, education, and resources. Once you have a sense ofwhereyouare,askyourselfthefollowingquestions:

•HowgreatadistancewillIhavetotravel?Ifyourdreamistoearnenoughmoneytoretireintenyears,thenyouneedtocalculateexactlyhowmuchmoneyyouwillneedtoearntobeabletoachieveyourgoal.Ifyourgoalistobecomeanurseoranengineer,thenyouneedtocontactuniversitiestogetinformationonprogramsofstudy,tuitioncosts,admissionpolicies,andsoon.Nomatterwhatyouwanttodo,youwillhavetotravelsomedistancetomakeithappen.Youneedtoknowhowmuchgroundyou’llhavetocover.

•WhatdoIhaveworkingforme?Nomatterwhereyou’restartingfromonyourjourney,youhavesomethingsgoingforyou.Ifyourdreamistoownabusiness,askillsuchasaknackforhandlingmoneywillbeanasset.If

successtoyoumeansraisingyourchildrenwell,andyoulovekidsandhavetheabilitytoteach,you’reaheadofthegame.Lookforthethingsthataregoingtogiveyouaheadstart.Anddon’tjustlookatinherentabilities.Lookatyourcircumstances,resources,andcontacts.

•WhatmustIovercome?Youwillalsohavesomethingsworkingagainstyou.Ifyourdreamrequiresyoutogetacollegedegreebutyouhavetroublereading,that’sanobstacleyou’regoingtohavetoovercome.Ifyourdesireistoplayprofessionalfootball,butyou’reonlyfivefeetthreeinchestallandweigh130pounds,yourphysiqueisdefinitelygoingtoworkagainstyou.Nomatterwhatyourgoal,hopingthatyourshortcomingswillgoawayisn’tgoingtohelp.Youhavetotakeanhonestlookatwhereyou’restartingandbepreparedtoovercometheobstacles.

•Whatwillitcosttomakethetrip?Everyjourneyhascostsassociatedwithit.Thesecostsmaybeintermsoftime,energy,finances,choices,sacrifices,oracombinationoffactors.Youwillhavetodecidewhetheryou’rewillingtopaythatprice.(Chapter7dealswiththisinmoredepth.)

Asyou thinkaboutyourdreamandmeasure it againstyour startingplace,you will be able to define it more precisely. You will begin to get a clearerpictureofwhat’simportanttoyouandwhatyou’rewillingtogive—andgiveup—tobesuccessful.Andyouwillbeinabetterpositiontoidentifyspecificgoals.

ArticulateaStatementofPurposeOnceyou’vegivenmorethoughttoyourdream,andithasstartedtobecome

clearer inyourmind,you’re ready to takeanother step:writinga statementofpurposeforyourselfbasedonyourdreamandwhatyouintendtobedoingwhileyou’regoinginthatdirection.Iguessyoucouldcallityourphilosophyoftravelforthesuccessjourney.BeginwiththegeneraldefinitionofsuccessthatIgaveyouinchapter1:successisknowingyourpurposeinlife,growingtoreachyourmaximumpotential,andsowingseedsthatbenefitothers.Thenbuildonit.Yourgoalistoendupwithasingleconcisestatementthatexpresseswhatyouwanttodo inyour life.Yourdefinitionof success,yourgoals, and80percentofyourdailyactivitiesshouldfallwithinthecontextofyourpurposestatement.

Herearea fewpurposestatementsasexamplesso thatyou’llknowwhat Imean:

ManagementexpertBobBuford:“Mylifemissionis:Totransformthelatent

energyinAmericanChristianityintoactiveenergy.”1

Attorney/writer Freya Ottem Hansom: To offer compassionate, complete,competentservicesinherlawpractice,towritewordsthatinspireGod-pleasingchanges in others, and to make her life be such that she lives to blesshumankind.2

Your purpose statement should naturally growout of your dreams, values,andconvictions.Socreatingitisn’taquick,onetimeevent.Instead,mostpeopledevelop and then refine it over the course of a couple of years.As youwriteyours,remembernottoexpectperfectionthefirsttimearound.Writeitthebestyoucan,andplantomakechangeslaterasyoudiscovermoreaboutyourselfandrefinethevisionforyourlife.

DefineYourGoalsOnceyouhavearticulatedyourpurpose,you’rereadytoidentifyyourgoals

—your points of reference on your road map. They will be activities oraccomplishmentsthatyouplantocompletetofulfillyourpurpose,developyourpotential, andhelpothers.Use the followingguidelines to keepyour goals ontarget.Goalsmustbe

•Written:Agoalproperlysetishalfwayreached,andagoalwrittenisset.Theprocessofwritingdowngoalshelpsyoutoclarifywhatyouintendtodo,understandtheimportanceofyourgoals,andcommityourselftomakingthemhappen.Writingyourgoalsalsomakesyoumoreaccountable.

•Personal:Acommonmistakethatpeoplemakeistoidentifysomethingoutsidetheircontrolasagoal.Forinstance,manypeoplesaytheirgoalistowinthelottery.Ortheysaytheywanttheirspousestotreatthembetter.Buttheyhavenocontroloverthesethings.Tobelegitimate,agoalmustbewithinyourpowertoachieveoraccomplishpersonally.Asyouwriteeachgoal,makesureitpassesthetest.

•Specific:Thekeytomakingagoalobtainableistomakeitspecific.Thinkaboutwhatwouldhappenifyouwentintoarestaurantandtoldyourwaiter,“I’dlikefood,please,”whenhetookyourorder.Thereisnotellingwhatyouwouldget.Thesameistruewhenyousetagoal.Youhavetospelloutwhatyouintendtodo.Andifagoalisbig,breakitdownintosmaller,moremanageabletasks.Youcan’tdowhatyoucan’texpress

specifically.•Achievable:Successfulpeoplesetgoalsjustoutofreach,butnotoutofsight.UniversityofSouthCarolinaprofessorWilliamMobleysaid,“Oneofthemostimportantthingsaboutgolfisthepresenceofcleargoals.Youseethepins,youknowthepar—it’sneithertooeasynorunattainable,youknowyouraveragescore,andtherearecompetitivegoals.”Asyouidentifyyourgoals,you’llwanttoidentifyactivitiesthatwillrequireyoutoworkandstretch.Butneverputthemsofaroutofyourreachthatyoucan’tachievethem.You’llbediscouragedbyidentifyingagoalforyourselfthatyoucan’taccomplish.Goalsneedtobemotivating,notintimidating.

•Measurable:Goalshavevalueonlyiftheyhelpyouimproveyourselfanddevelopyourpotential.That’swhytheymustbemeasurable.Stateyourgoalsasobjectivelyaspossiblesothatyouwillbeabletoanswerwithasimpleyesornowhenyouaskyourselfthequestion,“HaveIachievedthisgoal?”

•Time-sensitive:Agoalhasbeencalledadreamwithadeadline.That’sbecausewithoutsomekindofdeadline,mostgoalsnevergofromdreamtoreality.Asyouarticulateeachgoal,writeacompletiondateforit.Ifyoudon’t,youcangetintotrouble.

MoveintoActionGerman poet and novelist Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said,

“Thinkingiseasy,actingisdifficult,andtoputone’sthoughtsintoactionisthemost difficult thing in the world.” Maybe that’s why so few people followthroughandactontheirgoals.AccordingtoGreggHarris,two-thirdsofpeoplesurveyed (sixty-seven of one hundred) set goals for themselves. But of thosesixty-seven,onlytenhavemaderealisticplanstoreachtheirgoals.Andoutofthoseten,onlytwofollowthroughandactuallymakethemhappen.3

The trick to acting on your goals is getting started. President Franklin D.Rooseveltremarked,“Itiscommonsensetotakeamethodandtryit.Ifitfails,admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” That’s goodadvice.Youdon’thavetobeperfect;youonlyneedtomakeprogress.OrastheChinese proverb asserts, “Be not afraid of going slowly; be only afraid ofstandingstill.”

AdjustYourPlansAsyouactonyourgoals,youwillneedtocontinuallyreviewthemandyour

progress in order tomake adjustments. Some goalswon’t really contribute toyour dreamor purpose andwill need to be eliminated.Otherswill need to bemodified. And in some cases, you’ll simply fail. But as President AbrahamLincolnsaid,“Mygreatconcernisnotwhetheryouhavefailed,butwhetheryouarecontentwithyourfailure.”

Asyouworkonachievingyourgoals,thinkaboutthis:althoughyoushouldstrive to write a purpose statement for yourself that will last a lifetime, youshouldplantoreviewandupdategoalsonanalmostcontinualbasis.

PointtoSuccessandCelebrateFinally, as you accomplish some of your goals, take the time to celebrate.

Youdeserveit.Acknowledgeyoursuccessesandbuildonthem,alwayskeepinginmindthatyouraimisnottoachieveallyourgoalsbuttoimproveconstantly.Nobel prize–winning novelist William Faulkner urged, “Always dream andshoothigherthanyouknowyoucando.Don’tbotherjusttobebetterthanyourcontemporariesorpredecessors.Trytobebetterthanyourself.”You’retryingtofulfillyourpurpose,movetowardyourpotential,andhelpothers—notarriveatadestination.

Retail department store founder J. C. Penney declared, “Give me a stockclerkwithagoalandIwillgiveyouamanwhowillmakehistory.Givemeamanwithout agoal and Iwill giveyoua stock clerk.”Penney recognized thepower and importance of goals.While youwork on them, theywork on you.Andwhatyougetbyreachingyourgoalsisnotnearlyasimportantaswhatyoubecome by reaching them. In the case of Penney, he did more than becomewealthybybuildingachainof1,600retailstoreswithsalestopping$4billion.Hedevelopedhispotentialandthatofothers,givinggenerouslytocharitiesandhelping the peoplewhoworked for him.After he took his companypublic in1927,hegavesharesofstocktoallthemanagersinthecompanyandincludedeveryemployeeinprofitsharing.It’sevidentthathefoundhispurpose,grewtohispotential,andsowedseedstobenefitothers.Hetrulywassuccessful.

OvertheyearsasI’vesetgoals,I’vealwaysdonesoloosely.Ineverknowwhat’sgoingtohappen,andIneedtobeflexible.InmylifeI’vebeenincrediblyblessed. I feel thatGodhasbeenverygood tome. Ineverexpected towriteabunchofbooksorspeaktothousandsofpeopleeachyear,butthat’swhatIdo.

Mydesire has always been tomake a difference in people’s lives, and I havebeen allowed to do that.Anytime I’ve identified amajor goal inmy life,mygreatestexpectationshavebeenexceeded.

Asyouexploreyourdream,ponderyourpurpose,andidentifyyourgoals,bepreparedforwonderfulthingstohappen.Thereisnotellingwhatwillhappentoyouonthesuccessjourney.Yourlifemayultimatelyexceedyourexpectations.Butyouhavetobeginsomewheretoaccomplishyourdream,andsettinggoalsisagreatplacetostart.

StepstoTakeAlongtheWay

HowDoIGetTherefromHere?

Begincreatingtheroadmapforyoursuccessjourney.

1.RecognizeYourDream:Gobacktotheendofchapter2andlookatyouranswertoquestionnumber3(IfIcouldbeanythingIwanted,whatwouldIbe?).Writethatanswerhere:

[YourResponse]

2.ObserveYourStartingPlace:Givesomethoughttowhereyou’recurrentlystartingandhowfaryouarefromyourdream.Evenifitseemslikealongway,don’tgetdiscouraged.Somepeoplehavetraveledincrediblylongdistancestogetwheretheyaretoday.Answerthefollowingquestions:

[YourResponse]

a)Howgreatadistancewillyouhavetotravel?Writeastatementthatdescribeshowfaryouwillhavetogotoliveyourdreamandaffirmsyourdeterminationtodedicateyourselftothattask:

[YourResponse]

b)Whatdoyouhaveworkingforyou?Whatareyourthreegreatestassetsforthesegoals?

(1)

(2)

(3)

[YourResponse]

c)Whatwillyouhavetoovercome?Whatthreethingsthatyoucancontrolstandbetweenyouandtheachievementofyourdream?

(1)

(2)

(3)

[YourResponse]

d)Whatwillitcostyoutomakethetrip?Whatwillyouhavetopayorsacrificetoaccomplishyourdream?

(1)Inmoney:

(2)Intime:

(3)Inrelationships:

(4)Inpresentjob/career:

(5)Incomforts/luxuries:

(6)Inotheroptions:

[YourResponse]

3.ArticulateaStatementofPurpose:Writeastatementofpurposebasedonalltheworkyou’vedoneuptothispoint:

[YourResponse]

4.DefineYourGoalsBasedonYourPurpose:Writetheprimarygoalsthatyouwillneedtoaccomplishtofulfillyourdreamandliveyourpurposestatementonadailybasis:

[YourResponse]

PART2

GROWINGTOYOURMAXIMUMPOTENTIAL

H

5

WhatShouldIPackinMySuitcase?

aveyoueverwatchedpeoplepackforalongtrip?It’samazing.Somerunoutthedoorwithout taking theessentials.Others, likemysisterTrish,seemto

pack the entire closet. I remember one time my wife, Margaret, and I werepreparingtogototheairporttopickupTrishandherhusband,Steve,whowerecoming toSanDiego for a one-weekvisit. I toldMargaret, “We’dbetter bothdrive.YouknowhowTrishis.Wewon’tbeabletofitalltheluggageinonecar.”Andsureenough,whenwepickedthemup,weneededbothcarstoholdalltheluggage—andonewasaLincolnTownCarwithacavernoustrunk.

Idoalotoftravelingasaspeaker,anditseemsthatI’malwayspreparingforatrip.Duringoneten-yearstretch,Iloggedmorethan2.5millionairmiles—justononeairline.But I’mfortunatebecauseMargarethelpsmewhenI’mgettingready to leave for a trip. I usually let her know what kinds of speakingengagementsandcommitmentsI’mgoingtohave,andshe’llpackallmyclothesandtheotherpersonalthingsI’llneed.

ButIgothroughanotherpackingprocessbeforeI takeanytrip:Ipackmybriefcase.Yousee,IalwaysworkwhenItravel.Iwrite,read,reviewreports,anddosimilartasks.I’malwaysamazedwhenIgetonaplaneandstartlayingoutmyworkandseeabusinesspersonsittingnext tomestaringout thewindow.Ican’tbelievehehasnothingtodo,andI’malwaystemptedtosay,“Hey,sinceyou’renotbusy,canIgiveyouacoupleofthingstodoformebeforetheplanelandsinDallas?”

Even without enlisting the help of others, I’m able to get a tremendousamount of work done on the road because I have a secret: I dedicate severalhourstopackingmybriefcasebeforeIleaveonanytrip.Istudymyitineraryto

seewhatfreeblocksoftimeI’llhave—duringplaneflights,attheendofthedayinmy hotel, between speaking engagements—and I check to seewhatwork Ineed to get done for the upcoming weeks. Then I gather together all thematerials I’ll need for the trip: folders of notes and ideas I’ve collected for alesson; quotes frommy files, books, andmagazines Iwant to read and gleaninformationfrom;reportsIwanttoread;correspondenceIwanttoanswer.

The secret tomaking this systemwork is the time I spendbefore I leave.SinceIstarteddoingthis,I’veneverbeenontheroadandthought,Shoot,IcouldhavegottenthisprojectdoneorfinishedthatlessonifonlyIhadrememberedtobringalongsuchandsuch.

Overtheyears,I’vefoundthat ifI’mnotstrategicabouthowIwork,Igetintoabindbecausemyschedule issoheavy.Evenbeingstrategic, I’vehad tosurround myself with excellent people to help me carry the load. Linda, mywonderful assistant, schedules and plans every aspect ofmy travel—from theplaneride, to thehotel, towhatwillbeonstagewhenIarriveatanevent.SheputstogethermyitineraryandgivesmeeverybitofinformationI’llneedforthejourney. I am able to delegate nearly everything inmy life, but Inever allowanyoneelsetoprepareformyworkontheroadorpackmybriefcase.Therearesomethingsonlyyoucandoforyourself.

PackingfortheSuccessJourney

Asyoupreparetotakethesuccessjourney,thereisanessentialactivitythatonlyyoucanperformforyourself.It’stheequivalentofpackingyourbriefcaseforatrip because it determineswhat youwill be capable of accomplishingonyourjourney. That activity is preparing and pursuing a personal growth plan. Thatprocess, more than anything else, will determine whether you will continuegrowing toward your maximum potential. And as the old Irish proverb says,“You’vegottodoyourowngrowing,nomatterhowtallyourgrandfatheris.”Inother words, nothing in your past guarantees that you will continue growingtoward your potential in the future—not positions obtained, degrees earned,experiencegained,awardsreceived,orfortunesacquired.Planningyourgrowth—andthenfollowingthroughonit—istheonlythingthatworks.

Thedesireanddisciplinetokeepgrowinghavealwaysbeenveryimportanttome.WhenIwasgrowingup,mydadputmeonareadingplan.EverydayherequiredthatIreadforthirtyminutesoutofbooksheselected.AndwhenIgot

myveryfirstdriver’s license,Dadputabookintheglovecompartmentof thecarandsaid,“Son,nevertravelanywherewithoutabook.Ifyougetstuck,youcanuse the timetoreadand improveyourself.”Dadalsosentmetoseminars,such asDaleCarnegie’s “How toWinFriends and Influence People,”when Iwasstillinhighschool.

Mydad’sgrowthplansurehelpedmelearnthevalueofpersonalgrowth,andwhenIwasseventeen,Itookamoreactiveroleinmydevelopment.That’swhenI began to read systematically and file outstanding quotes from books andmagazines. I had learned that shortcuts don’t payoff in the long run. If Iwasgoing to have a chance to reach my potential, I was going to have to keeplearning,growing,andimproving.

GrowthIsChangeJust aboutanyonewouldagree thatgrowing is agood thing,but relatively

few people dedicate themselves to the process. Why? Because it requireschange, andmost people are reluctant to change.But the truth is thatwithoutchange,growthisimpossible.AuthorGailSheehyasserted,

Ifwedon’tchange,wedon’tgrow.Ifwedon’tgrow,wearenotreallyliving.Growthdemandsatemporarysurrenderofsecurity.Itmaymeanagivingupof familiar but limiting patterns, safe but unrewardingwork,valuesno longerbelieved in, relationships thathave lost theirmeaning.AsDostoevskyput it,“takinganewstep,utteringanewword, iswhatmostpeoplefearmost.”Therealfearshouldbetheoppositecourse.

Ican’tthinkofanythingworsethanlivingastagnantlife,devoidofchangeandimprovement.

GrowthIsaChoiceMostpeoplefightagainstchange,especiallywhenitaffectsthempersonally.

AsnovelistLeoTolstoy said, “Everyone thinksof changing theworld, but noone thinks of changing himself.”The ironic thing is that change is inevitable.Everybodyhas todealwith it.On theotherhand,growth isoptional.Youcanchoose togroworfight it.Butknowthis:peopleunwilling togrowwillneverreachtheirpotential.

Most people don’t realize that successful and unsuccessful people do not

differ substantially in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach theirpotential.Andnothingismoreeffectivewhenitcomestoreachingpotentialthancommitmenttopersonalgrowth.

LetMeHelpYouPackMakingthechangefrombeinganoccasional learner tobecomingsomeone

dedicatedtopersonalgrowthgoesagainstthegrainofthewaymostpeoplelive.Ifyouaskedonehundredpeoplehowmanybookstheyhavereadontheirownsince leaving school (college or high school), I bet only a handfulwould saytheyhave readmore thanoneor twobooks. If you askedhowmany listen totapesandvoluntarilyattendconferencesandseminarstogrowpersonally,therewouldbeevenfewer.Mostpeoplecelebratewhentheyreceivetheirdiplomasordegreesandsaytothemselves,“Thankgoodnessthat’sover.Justletmehaveagood job. I’mfinishedwithstudying.”Butsuch thinkingdoesn’t takeyouanyhigher thanaverage.Ifyouwant to takethesuccess journey,youhavetokeepgrowing.

Assomeonewhohasdedicatedhislifetopersonalgrowthanddevelopment,I’d like tohelpyoumake the leap tobecomingadedicatedself-developer. It’sthewayyouneedtogoifyouwanttoreachyourpotential.Besidesthat,italsohas another benefit: it brings contentment. The happiest people I know aregrowingeveryday.

Takealookatthefollowingtenprinciples.They’llhelpyoudevelopintoapersondedicatedtopersonalgrowth:

1.ChooseaLifeofGrowthIt’ssaidthatwhenSpanishcomposer-cellistPabloCasalswasinthefinalyearsofhislife,ayoungreporteraskedhim,“Mr.Casals,youareninety-fiveyearsoldand the greatest cellist that ever lived.Why do you still practice six hours aday?”

WhatwasCasals’sanswer?“BecauseI thinkI’mmakingprogress.”That’sthekindofdedicationtocontinualgrowththatyoushouldhave.Thepeoplewhoreach theirpotential,nomatterwhat theirprofessionsorbackgrounds, think intermsofimprovement.Ifyouthinkyoucan“holdyourground”andstillmakethesuccessjourney,youaremistaken.

Theonlyway to improve thequalityofyour life is to improveyourself. Ifyouwanttogrowyourorganization,youmustgrowaleader.Ifyouwanttohave

betterchildren,youmustbecomeabetterperson.Thereisnosurewaytomakeother people in your environment improve. The only thing you truly have theability to improve is yourself. And the amazing thing is that when you do,everythingelsearoundyousuddenlygetsbetter.Sothebottomlineisthatifyouwant to take thesuccess journey,youmust livea lifeofgrowth.And theonlywayyouwillgrowisifyouchoosetogrow.

2.StartGrowingTodayNapoleonHill said, “It’s notwhat you are going to do, but it’swhat you aredoingnow thatcounts.”Manyunsuccessfulpeoplehavewhat Icall “somedaysickness”because theycoulddosome things tobringvalue to their lives rightnow.Buttheyputthemoffandsaythey’lldothemsomeday.Theirmottois“oneofthesedays.”Butas theoldEnglishproverbsays,“Oneof thesedaysmeansnoneofthesedays.”Thebestwaytoensuresuccessistostartgrowingtoday.Nomatterwhereyoumaybestartingfrom,don’tbediscouraged;everyonewhogotwhereheisstartedwherehewas.

Why do you need to determine to start growing today? There are severalreasons:

•Growthisnotautomatic.Justbecauseyougrowolderdoesn’tmeanyoukeepgrowing.That’showitiswithsomecreatures,suchascrustaceans.Asacraboralobsterages,itgrowsandhastosheditsshell.Butthat’snotthetrendforpeople.Theroadtothenextlevelisuphill,andittakesefforttokeepgrowing.Thesooneryoustart,theclosertoreachingyourpotentialyou’llbe.

•Growthtodaywillprovideabettertomorrow.Everythingyoudotodaybuildsonwhatyoudidyesterday.Andaltogether,thosethingsdeterminewhatwillhappentomorrow.That’sespeciallytrueinregardtogrowth.OliverWendellHolmesofferedthisinsight:“Man’smind,oncestretchedbynewideas,neverregainsitsoriginaldimensions.”Growthtodayisaninvestmentfortomorrow.

•Growthisyourresponsibility.Whenyouwereasmallchild,yourparentswereresponsibleforyou—evenforyourgrowthandeducation.Butasanadult,youbearthatresponsibilityentirely.Ifyoudon’tmakegrowthyourresponsibility,itwillneverhappen.

Thereisnotimelikerightnowtogetstarted.Recognizetheimportancethatpersonal growth plays in success, and commit yourself to developing yourpotentialtoday.

3.BeTeachableFormer UCLA basketball coach John Wooden was an inspiring model ofpersonalgrowth.Hecontinuallydevelopedhimself,andhedidthesamewithhisplayers, trying to help them reach their potential. One ofmy favorite sayingsfromhimisthis:“It’swhatyoulearnafteryouknowitallthatcounts.”Woodenrecognized that thegreatestobstacle togrowth isn’t ignorance: it’sknowledge.Themoreyoulearn,thegreaterthechanceyou’llthinkyouknowitall.Andifthat happens, you become unteachable, and you are no longer growing—orimproving.

Wooden kept learning and growing, even while he was at the top of hisprofession.For instance,afterhehadalreadywonanationalchampionship,anaccomplishment that most college coaches never achieve, he scrapped theoffense he had used for years and learned a completely new one in order tomaximizethepotentialofhisteamandthetalentsofoneplayer:LewisAlcindor,now known as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. The result was that he and his teamsmoved to an even higher level of play and won three consecutive nationalchampionships.Andifyouaretoreachyourpotential,youhavetokeepgrowingjustasJohnWoodendid.Whenyouremain teachable,yourpotential isalmostlimitless.

4.FocusonSelf-Development,NotSelf-FulfillmentTherehasbeenachangeinfocusoverthelastfortyyearsintheareaofpersonalgrowth.Beginning in the late sixties andearly seventies, peoplebegan talkingabout “finding themselves,” meaning that they were searching for a way tobecomeself-fulfilled.It’s likemakinghappinessagoalbecauseself-fulfillmentisaboutfeelinggood.

But self-development isdifferent.Sure,muchof the time itwillmakeyoufeel good, but that’s a by-product, not the goal. Self-development is a highercalling;itisthedevelopmentofyourpotentialsothatyoucanattainthepurposefor which you were created. There are times when that’s fulfilling, but othertimesit’snot.Butnomatterhowitmakesyoufeel,self-developmentalwayshasoneeffect:itdrawsyoutowardyourdestiny.

5.NeverStaySatisfiedwithCurrentAccomplishmentsMy friend Rick Warren says, “The greatest enemy of tomorrow’s success istoday’s success.”Andhe is right.Thinking that youhave “arrived”whenyouaccomplishagoalhasthesameeffectasbelievingyouknowitall.Ittakesawayyour desire to learn. It’s another characteristic of destination disease. Butsuccessfulpeopledon’tsitbackandrestontheirlaurels.Theyknowthatwins—like losses—are temporary, and they have to keep growing if they want tocontinuebeingsuccessful.CharlesHandyremarked,“Itisoneoftheparadoxesofsuccessthatthethingsandwayswhichgotyouthereareseldomthosethingsthatkeepyouthere.”

Nomatterhowsuccessfulyouaretoday,don’tgetcomplacent.Stayhungry.SydneyHarrisinsistedthat“awinnerknowshowmuchhestillhastolearn,evenwhen he is considered an expert by others; a loserwants to be considered anexpert by others before he has learned enough to knowhow little he knows.”Don’t settle intoa comfort zone, anddon’t let successgo toyourhead.Enjoyyoursuccessbriefly,andthenmoveontogreatergrowth.

6.BeaContinualLearnerThebestwaytokeepfrombecomingsatisfiedwithyourcurrentachievementsistomakeyourselfacontinuallearner.Thatkindofcommitmentmayberarerthanyou realize. For example, a study performed by the University of Michiganseveralyearsagofoundthatone-thirdofallphysiciansintheUnitedStatesaresobusyworking that they’re twoyearsbehind thebreakthroughs in their ownfields.1

Ifyouwanttobeacontinuallearnerandkeepgrowingthroughoutyourlife,you’ll have to carve out the time to do it. You’ll have to do what you canwherever you are. As Henry Ford said, “It’s been my observation that mostsuccessfulpeoplegetaheadduringthetimeotherpeoplewaste.”

That’sone reasonIcarrybooksandmagazineswithmewhenever I travel.Duringthedowntimes,suchaswaitingforaconnectioninanairport,Icangothrough a stack ofmagazines, reading and cutting out articles.Or I can skimthroughabook,learningthemajorconceptsandpullingoutquotesI’llbeabletouse later.Andwhen I’m in town, Imaximizemy learning timebycontinuallylisteningtoinstructiverecordingsinthecar.

Learning something every day is the essence of being a continual learner.You must keep improving yourself, not only acquiring knowledge to replace

what you forget or what’s out of date but building on what you learnedyesterday.

7.ConcentrateonaFewMajorThemesWriterC.S.Lewisasserted,“Everyperson iscomposedofa few themes.”Asyoudevelopyourself,youshouldidentifyandconcentrateonthefewthemesatthe heart ofwho you are. That’swhat I have done over the years, and it hasyieldedahighreturninmydevelopment.Mylifeispeople-focused.Mypurposeis to teach leadership andhelp people grow to reach their potential, so I havenarrowedmypersonaldevelopmenttotheseareas:

•Relationships,whichdeterminehowwellIknowpeople•Attitude,whichdetermineshowwellIrelatetopeople•Communication,whichdetermineshowwellImotivatepeople•Leadership,whichdetermineshowwellIinfluencepeople•Personalgrowth,whichdetermineshowlongIdeveloptheotherareas

Whereyoufocusyourattentionwilldependonyourpurpose,howyouwishtohelpothers,andwhat itmeansforyou to reachyourpotential.At first,youmaybetemptedtogiveyourattentiontotoomanythings.Butkeepyourfocusnarrow.Giveyourtimeandenergyonlytothethemesattheheartofyourlife.

8.DevelopaPlanforGrowthThe key to a life of continual learning and improvement lies in developing aspecificplanforgrowthandfollowingthroughwithit.Irecommendaplanthatrequiresanhouraday,fivedaysaweek.Iusethatas thepatternbecauseofastatementbyEarlNightingale,which says, “If apersonwill spendonehouraday on the same subject for five years, that person will be an expert on thatsubject.” Isn’t that an incrediblepromise? It showshow farweare capableofgoingwhenwehavethedisciplinetomakegrowthourdailypractice.

When I teach leadership conferences, I recommend the following growthplantoparticipants:

Monday:Spendonehourwithadevotionaltodevelopyourspirituallife.Tuesday:Spendonehourlisteningtoaleadershiprecording.

Wednesday:SpendonehourfilingquotesandreflectingonthecontentofTuesday’slesson.Thursday:Spendonehourreadingabookonleadership.Friday:Spendhalfthehourreadingthebookandtheotherhalffilingandreflecting.

Asyoudevelopyourplan forgrowth, startby identifying the three to fiveareas in which you desire to grow. Then look for useful materials—books,magazines, CDs, videos, podcasts—and incorporate them into your plan. Irecommendthatyoumakeityourgoaltoreadtwelvebooksandlistentofifty-two audio lessons (or read fifty-two articles) each year. Exactly how you goabout it doesn’tmatter, butdo it daily.Thatwayyou’remore likely to followthroughandget itdonethanifyouperiodicallyput itoffandthentrytocatchup.

9.PaythePriceI mentioned before that self-fulfillment focuses on making a person happy,whereasself-developmentproposestohelpapersonreachpotential.Atrade-offofgrowth is that it is sometimesuncomfortable. It requiresdiscipline. It takestimethatyoucouldspendonleisureactivities.Itcostsmoneytobuymaterials.Youhavetofaceconstantchangeandtakerisks.Andsometimesit’s justplainlonely.That’swhymanypeoplestopgrowingwhenthepricegetshigh.

But growth is alwaysworth the price you pay because the alternative is alimitedlifewithunfulfilledpotential.Success takeseffort,andyoucan’tmakethe journey if you’re sitting backwaiting for life to come along and improveyou.

10.FindaWaytoApplyWhatYouLearnJimRohnurged,“Don’tletyourlearningleadtoknowledge.Letyourlearninglead to action.” The bottom line when it comes to personal development isaction.Ifyour lifedoesn’tbegintochangeasaresultofwhatyou’re learning,you’reexperiencingoneoftheseproblems:you’renotgivingyourgrowthplanenoughtimeandattention;you’refocusingtoomuchtimeonthewrongareas;oryou’renotapplyingwhatyoulearn.

Successfulpeopledeveloppositivedailyhabits thathelp themtogrowandlearn.OneofthethingsIdotomakesureIdon’tlosewhatIlearnistofileit.In

myofficeIhavemorethan1,200filesfullofarticlesandinformation,andIhavethousands upon thousands of quotes. But I also make an effort to applyinformation as soon as I learn it. I do that by asking myself these questionsanytimeIlearnsomethingnew:

•WherecanIuseit?•WhencanIuseit?•Whoelseneedstoknowit?

These questions takemy focus off simply acquiring knowledge and put itontoapplyingwhatIlearntomylife.Tryusingthem.Ithinkthey’lldothesameforyou.

AuthorandleadershipexpertFredSmithmadeastatementthatsummarizeswhatcommittingtopersonalgrowthisreallyallabout.Hesaid,

Somethinginhumannaturetemptsustostaywherewe’recomfortable.We try to find a plateau, a resting place, where we have comfortablestress and adequate finances.Where we have comfortable associationswithpeople,withouttheintimidationofmeetingnewpeopleandenteringstrangesituations.

Of course, all of us need to plateau for a time.We climb and thenplateauforassimilation.Butoncewe’veassimilatedwhatwe’velearned,weclimbagain.It’sunfortunatewhenwe’vedoneourlastclimb.Whenwehavemadeourlastclimb,weareold,whether40or80.

Whateveryoudo,don’tallowyourselftostayonaplateau.Commityourselfto climbing themountain of personal potential—a little at a time—throughoutyourlife.It’sonejourneyyou’llneverregrethavingmade.

DevelopRelationshipswithGrowingPeople

Another factor in your personal development comes in the area of yourrelationshipswithothers.Carefullyexamineyourclosestassociations.Youcantellalotaboutwhichdirectionyourlifeisheadingbylookingatthepeoplewithwhomyouhavechosen to spendyour timeandshareyour ideas.Theirvalues

and priorities affect the way you think and act. If they’re positive peoplededicated to growth, then their values and priorities will encourage you andreinforceyourdesiretodevelopyourself.

It’snotalwayscomfortabletoassociatewithpeoplewhoareaheadofyouintheir growth, but it’s always profitable. Look around you. Undoubtedly, youknowpeoplewhocouldhelpyougrowinoneormoreoftheareasyouwanttodevelop.Trytocultivaterelationshipswiththem,butdon’tthinkonlyintermsofwhatyoucangain.Alwaysbringsomethingtothetable.Youhavetomaketherelationshipwin-win,oritwon’tlast.

Dedication togrowthnotonlyenlargesyouand increasesyourpotential; italsomotivatesyou.Itbeginsacycleofgrowththat,ifsustained,leadstofurtherandmoreextensivegrowth.And that leads toamore fulfillingandproductivelife.

During the course of my life, I’ve experienced the incredible power thatregularpersonalgrowthbrings.Chapter3 showedyou thatattitudedetermineshowfaryoucangoinlife.Growthaddsanotherdimensiontoyourabilities: itdetermineshowwellequippedyouareforthejourney.Whenyour“suitcase”ispackedwell throughcontinualpersonaldevelopment, youcango farthermorequicklythanyou’veeverdreamed,andthejourneygoesmoresmoothlybecauseyou’re better prepared for it. Evenwhen you face obstacles, whichwe’ll talkaboutinthenextchapter,you’rebetterabletokeepgoing.

Ittakestimetolearnhowtopackyoursuitcase.Inthebeginning,weallhaveatendencytotrytotaketoomuchwithus—notonlyonthesuccessjourneybutontheothertripswetaketoo.Forexample,atriptoJapanthatMargaretandItookmanyyearsagoturnedouttobeadisasterbecausewedidn’tknowhowtopack. We bought two huge suitcases, and we filled them until they wereabsolutely full. We had done some traveling before, so we thought we werebeingsmartbyhavingonly twoheavybagsrather thanabunchofsmallones.Wewoulduseportersorrentalcarsaswehaddonebeforeatairports.

Everythingwas fine untilwe started trying to get around in Japan.A taxideliveredustothetrainstationinTokyo,andafteritdroppedusoff,welookedforaporter,butwecouldn’tfindone.“Noproblem,”Isaid.“I’llgetoneofthosecarts.”Wecouldn’t findoneof thoseeither.Weendedupcarrying thosehugesuitcasesalloverthestationlookingfortherighttrackforourdeparture.Thenwehadtolugthemontothetrainandstowthemawayinourcar.

We ended up doing that all over Japan.By the secondweekend,Margaret

andIwerenearlyreadyforadivorce.Inonecity,aswedraggedthebags“onlyashortwalkfromthetrainstation”toourhotel,Idroppedtheminthemiddleofthestreetandshouted,“Ifsomebodywants thesebags,comeget ’em.I’ll takefivebucksforbothof them—contentsandall.”Therewereno takers.Butonegoodthingcameoutofthatwholeexperience.MargaretandIlearnedourlessononthattrip,andsincethen,wehavebecomeverygoodpackers.

Whenyoulearntobecomeagoodpackeronthesuccessjourney,you’llbesurprisedbyhowhighyou’llbeabletoclimb.Thekeyistofocusonwhatyouneedandnotanythingelse.

Ifyoudedicateyourselftopersonaldevelopment,thereisnotellingwhereitwillleadyouinlife,butIknowonethingforcertain:itcanonlytakeyouup.Ifyou haven’t already, get started today. Make growth your main goal, and bepreparedtoclimbhigherthanyoubelievedpossible.

StepstoTakeAlongtheWay

WhatShouldIPackinMySuitcase?

Youcandeveloptoyourpotential ifyoupursuepersonalgrowthasa lifestyle.Followtheseguidelinestohelpyougetstarted.

1.DevelopaPlanforGrowth:Thewholeprocessbeginswithaplanforgrowth.Itmustbewrittenandspecific.Themoreconcretetheplan,themorelikelyyouaretofollowit.

a)Identifythetopareasyouwishtodevelop.Baseyourgrowthareasonyourdreamsandgoals.Tostart,oneortwogrowthareaswouldprobablybeideal.Donotlistmorethanfive:

[YourResponse]

b)Findresources.Searchforresourcepossibilitiesbyreadingtradejournals,goingtoabookstore,visitingalibrary,browsingthroughcatalogs,andtalkingtopeopleexperiencedinyourareasofinterest.Listthetopmaterialsyoufind.

Books:

Audios:

Magazines:

[YourResponse]

c)Planyourgrowthtime.Figureoutexactlywhereyouwill“steal”onehouraday(fivedaysaweek).Willyougetupanhourearlier?Willyouuseyourlunchhour?Willyouturnoffthetelevisionfrom7:00to8:00everynight?Whereyougetthetimeisuptoyou,butbespecific,andtrytostickwithyourplan.

2.CreateaClimateforGrowth:Plantodoeachofthefollowingatleastonceadayforthenextmonth:

[YourResponse]

a)Affirmyourspouse,child,employee,orcoworkerfordoingsomethingnewthatdisplayedadesireforgrowth.

[YourResponse]

b)Trysomethingyou’veneverdonesothatyou’retakenoutofyourcomfortzone.

[YourResponse]

c)Thinkaboutabenefitthatyourcurrentgrowthplanmaygiveyouinthefuture.

[YourResponse]

3.DevelopRelationshipswithGrowingPeople:Truesuccessalwaysincludes

others.Buildrelationshipsforgrowthinthefollowingways:

a)Findamentor.Namethepersonyouknowwhoisgrowingandwhohasthemostexpertiseintheareawhereyou’dmostliketogrow.Yourgoalistodevelopawin-winrelationshipwiththatperson.

[YourResponse]

b)Spendtimewithgrowingpeople.Namethethreebestmodelsforgrowthofallthepeopleyouknow.Plantospendtimewitheachofthemduringthecomingweeks.Yourgoalistodeveloppositiverelationshipsandenjoyeachother’scompany.

(1)

(2)

(3)

[YourResponse]

c)Picksomeonetomentor.Selectapersontohelpgrow:acoworkeroremployee,yourchild,afellowchurchmember,etc.

[YourResponse]

W

6

HowDoIHandletheDetours?

henyoutakeajourney,youneverknowforsurewhetheritwillturnoutthewayyouplanned—a lot canhappenalong theway that youdon’t expect.

That’swhathappened tomywife,Margaret, andmeon thewayhome fromatrip to theHolyLand severalyears ago.Wehavebeen to Israel several times,andonthatparticulartripwetookfiftypeoplewithusforatour.MargaretandIare super planners, so in the spaceof aweek,we sawmore sights thanmanythought was humanly possible. But by the time we were headed back home,everyonewasexhausted.

Whenwearrived inParis fromTelAvivatmidmorning,anagentfromtheairlinegreetedus.“I’msorry,folks,”shesaid,“butyourflighttoNewYorkhasbeencanceled.There’samajorsnowstormontheAtlanticCoast,andnothingisgoinginoroutforthenexttwenty-fourhours.”Afteraweekofbeingondustyroads,rushingfromsitetosite,sleepinginstrangehotelrooms,andseeingtensesoldierswithmachinegunseverywhere,ourgroupwasreadytobebackhome.

Aswegotthenews,Icouldsensethedisappointmentandfrustrationamongourpeople.Manywhoweretravelingwithuswereolderandhadneverbeenoutof the United States before that trip. Previous departures from the planneditineraryhadupsetsomeofthem.Themajorbreakinourtravelplanswaslikelytosendthemintoapanic.

MargaretandIlookedateachotherandknewweneededtoact.“Okay,gang, let’sallget togetheroverhere,”IsaidasIgatheredeveryone

intoacornerintheairportandtookaquickheadcount.“HowmanyofyouhaveneverbeentoParisbefore?”Iasked.Allbutafewhandswentup.“Oh,thisisgreat!We’vegot an awesomeopportunity here,” I explained. “We’re going to

takeatourofthecity!”Margaret’seyeslitupassheunderstoodtheidea,andshejumpedrightinto

help.“Oh,you’llloveParis,”shesaid.“It’sthemostromanticcityintheworld.”Acoupleofthewomeninthegroupsmiled,butthemajorityofthegrouplookedatuswith skepticism.“We’ll see theLouvre,NotreDame, theEiffelTower—younameit.”

“We are so lucky,” I said. “Do you know howmuchmoneymost peoplespendtoseeParis?Theyspendthousandsofdollars just togethere,butwe’regoingtoseeitforfree.”Thatgottheattentionofacoupleofthemen.

An hour later,wewere at the hotel, andMargaret and Iwereworking ongettingthetourtogether.“No,monsieur,”theconciergesaid,“therearenotoursavailable.Icanmaybearrangesomethingfortomorrow.”

“Ithastobetoday.Theremustbesomethingavailable,”Isaid.“No,monsieur.Iamsorry.”“Thenhowaboutabus?”saidMargaret.Helookedatherblankly.“Surely,

there’sabusinallofParis.Seeifyoucanfindusabus—anykindofbus—andadriver.”

“That’sright,”Iagreed.“Justfindusabus.Wedon’tcarewhereyougetitorwhatitlookslike.Itcanbeaschoolbusforallwecare.We’lltakecareofthetourourselves.”It tookusawhiletoconvincehim,buthefinallyagreedtotry.And he got us a bus—complete with a driver who didn’t speak a word ofEnglish.

WeloadedupthegroupandgavethemawhirlwindtourofParis.“Takelotsofpictures,”wekepttellingthem.“You’llwanttoshoweveryonewhenyougethomehowyougotanextratriptoParis.”Weshowedthemeverythingwecould.AndI’llbetweevengotthelandmarks’namesright,oh,70or80percentofthetime. They even experienced things they wouldn’t have on another tour. Forinstance,wespottedpopsingerMadonnacomingoutoftheLouvresurroundedbybodyguards,andeveryonetookpicturesofher.

“ItcouldonlyhappenontheMaxwelltour,”onememberofthegroupsaidlater.

Afterwegothome,ourpeoplehadmeaningfulmemoriesof Israeland theawe-inspiringplacesthere.Buttheirfavoritestorywasabouttheirone-daysidetriptoParis.

Haveyoueverbeenona trip thatdidn’t turnout thewayyouplanned? Ifyou’vedonemuchtraveling,maybeIshouldaskinsteadifyou’veeverbeenon

a trip that did turn out exactly as you planned. Because if you’re like mostpeople,you’vehadallkindsofthingsgowrongonatrip.Thesuccessjourneyisthesameway.Youmayhaveyourjourneyclearlymarkedonyourroadmap,butuntil you are actually traveling, the obstacles are not apparent.The journey isfullofspeedbumps,potholes,anddetours.Andsincenobodycanentirelyavoidthem,thequestionis,howareyouhandlingthem?

IsabelMoore aptly stated, “Life is a one-way street.Nomatter howmanydetoursyoutake,noneofthemleadsback.Andonceyouknowandacceptthat,lifebecomesmuchsimpler.”Oneofthemajorkeystosuccessistokeepmovingforwardonthejourney,makingthebestofthedetoursandinterruptions,turningadversityintoadvantage.

TheTwoGreatestDetours

AsI’vetalkedtopeopleaboutsuccess,I’vefoundthatthetwogreatestdetoursthey face are fear and failure.When you think about it, those two deterrentscouldhavestoppedourtourgroupfromhavingagoodtimeinParis.Fearoftheunknowncouldhavekeptushuddled in theairport insteadofheadingoutandenjoyingthecity.Andnobodycouldhaveblamedus ifwehadgivenupwhenweexperiencedourfirstfailure—notbeingabletofindabustour.Butfearandfailure didn’t stop us. Neither should they stop you from taking the successjourney.Yousee,everydetourisalsoapotentialopportunity,anditcanpreventyoufrombeingsuccessfulonlyifyouletit.

FactsAboutFear

Weallhavefears.Nineoutoftenpeopleareterrifiedbythethoughtofspeakingbeforegroups.Somedon’tlikeinsects.Othersfearheights,deepwater,financialproblems,aging,orloneliness.Fearscomeinalmostasmanyvarietiesastherearepeople.Thefearsofsomewell-knownpeoplefromhistoryareevencomical.For example, Julius Caesar, a powerful military general and Roman emperor,fearedthunder.PetertheGreat,theczarofRussiaandanimposingfigureatsixfeetfiveinchestall,wasafraidofbridges.Hecrossedthemonlywhentherewasnootheralternative,andwhenhedid,he trembledandcried likeachild.Andeighteenth-century British writer and literary critic Dr. Samuel Johnson had a

phobia about entering a roomwith any foot other than his left. Any time heaccidentallyenteredaroomwrong-footed,hebackedoutandenteredagainwithhis left foot. He took wanting to put his best foot forward to a ridiculousextreme!

TheFalloutofFear

Nomatterhowfoolishorhumorousanotherperson’sfearsmaylooktous,ourown seem serious. One reason is that fear can be a hindrance to success. Ifallowed to control our lives, fear can be a permanent detour on the successjourney,stoppingusfrommakinganyprogress.Ironically,whenfearsucceedsinpreventingusfromengaginginanactivity,weneverfindoutwhetherthatfearwastrulyjustifiable.Andthatcreatesaviciouscycle,whichcaneventuallytakeoverourlives.Takealookatthepatternfearcancreateinaperson’slife:

Fearbreedsinaction;Inactionleadstolackofexperience;Lackofexperiencefostersignorance;andIgnorancebreedsfear.

PresidentJohnF.Kennedysaid,“Therearerisksandcosts toaprogramofaction,but theyare far less than the long-range risksandcostsofcomfortableinaction.”Thebottomlineisthatifyoucanovercomeyourfear,youcanbreakthe cycle and live to see the death of your ignorance and the birth of yoursuccess.

Fearalsocausesprocrastination.Itdividesourfocusandweakensus.Itcanevenmakeusfeelisolated.FormerNFLquarterbackFranTarkentonsaid,“Fearcauses people to draw back from situations; it brings on mediocrity; it dullscreativity;itsetsoneuptobealoserinlife.”Fearrobsusofourpotentialandpreventsusfrommovingforwardtowardourpurposeinlife.

FaceYourFears

Whenitcomestodealingwithfear,youhavethreechoices.First,youcantrytoavoiditaltogether.Butthatmeansstayingawayfromeveryknownorpotential

fear-producing person, place, thing, or situation. That’s neither practical norproductive. If youmove tentatively fromplace to place, alwaysworrying thataroundthenextcorneryou’llcomeface-to-facewithsomethingthatcouldcauseyoutofear,youwillbetiedintoknots.

Asecondwaytodealwithfearistohopethatitwillgoaway.Butthat’slikehopingforafairygodmothertorescueyou.

Fortunately, there isa thirdwaytodealwithfear,andthat is toface itandovercome it. In the end, that’s the only method that really works. Here is astrategytohelpyoufacethefearanddoitanyway:

DiscovertheFoundationofFearMost of the fears we face every day are not based on facts. They are

generatedbyourfeelings.Forexample,astudyconductedbytheUniversityofMichiganshowedthefollowing:

•60percentofourfearsaretotallyunwarranted;theynevercometopass.•20percentofourfearsarefocusedonourpast,whichiscompletelyoutofourcontrol.

•10percentofourfearsarebasedonthingssopettythattheymakenodifferenceinourlives.

•Oftheremaining10percent,only4to5percentcouldbeconsideredjustifiable.1

These statistics show that any time or energy you give to fear is totallywastedandcounterproductive95percentofthetime.

Fearisinterestpaidonadebtyoumaynotowe.Ifyou’veallowedyourselftobedetouredby fear, it’s time to lookbeyondyour feelingsandexamine thethinkingthat’sgeneratingyourfears.Compareyourthoughtpatternstothefacts,and seewhere they don’tmatch up. If your focus is on the past, try tomovebeyond it. If you’re worrying about petty things, remind yourself of what isreally important.And if you can’t change your thought patterns on your own,seek the help of a professional counselor. Don’t allow yourself to remain aprisonerofyourfeelings.

AdmitYourFears

Thebest thing todo in the caseofyour few justifiable fears (5percentorless) is to acknowledge them and keep moving forward. That’s what ouresteemed heroes have done. For example, consider the life and career ofsomeone like George S. Patton, a bold and innovative general who wasinstrumentalinthesuccessoftheAlliesinWorldWarII.Youmightbetemptedto think thathedidn’texperiencefear.But that’snot thecase.Hefelt thefear,buthedidn’tletitstophim.Heoncesaid,“Iamnotabraveman.ThetruthofthematterisIamusuallyacowardatheart.IhaveneverbeeninthesoundofgunshotorsightofbattleinmywholelifethatIwasnotafraid.Iconstantlyhavesweatonmypalmsandalumpinmythroat.”Imaginethat:oneofourbravestgeneralsthoughtofhimselfasacoward.

OnekeytoPatton’ssuccesswasthathelearnedhowtodealwithhisfear.Hedeclared, “The time to take counsel of your fears is before you make animportantbattledecision.That’sthetimetolistentoeveryfearyoucanimagine.Whenyouhavecollectedallthefactsandfearsandmadeyourdecision,turnoffallofyour fearsandgoahead!” If someonewhoconsideredhimselfacowardcoulddoit,socanyou.

AcceptFearasthePriceofProgressYoumustrealizethatthethingsyoufearwillcometrueortheywon’t.And

your fearwill not positively affect the outcome.Fear can only detour you—ifyou let it. That’swhy it is critical to accept fear as the price of progress.Dr.SusanJeffriesadmitted,“AslongasIcontinuetostretchmycapabilities,aslongas I continue to take risks in making my dreams come true, I am going toexperiencefear.”

Anytimeyoutrytomoveforwardintonewterritoryonthesuccessjourney,thereisachancethatyouwillfail.Yourattempttomoveforwardmayalsomakeyoulookfoolish.Andthethoughtofthatprobablymakesyounervous.That’sallright.Justabouteverypersonwhoeverachievedsomethingofvaluefacedfearandmovedforwardanyway.Trueheroesarethemenandwomenwhoconquerthemselves.

FocusonThingsYouCanControlFormerUCLAbasketball coach JohnWooden, oneof thegreatest coaches

whoeverlived,said,“Donotletwhatyoucannotdointerferewithwhatyoucando.”Woodenwasknownforstressingexcellencetohisplayersandencouraging

themtoworktowardtheirpotential.Henevermadewinningachampionshiphisgoal.Hefocusedonthejourney,notthedestination.YethisworkethicandfocusonthethingswithinhiscontrolearnedhisUCLAteamsfourundefeatedseasons,an eighty-eight-game winning streak, and an incredible ten nationalchampionships.Noonehadeverdone thatbeforehim,andnoonehasdone itsince.

As youmove forward on the success journey, you need to remember thatwhat happens in you is more important than what happens to you. You cancontrolyourattitudesasyoutravelonthejourney,butyouhavenocontrolovertheactionsofothers.Youcanchoosewhattoputonyourcalendar,butyoucan’tcontroltoday’scircumstances.Unfortunately,themajorityofthefearandstressthatpeopleexperienceinlifeisfromthingstheycandonothingabout.Don’tletthathappentoyou.

PutSomeWinsUnderYourBeltVince Lombardi, legendary coach of the NFL’s Green Bay Packers, once

commented, “Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.” He understoodthat past successes influence the ability to perform well. That principle alsoapplies to overcoming fears. Each time you face a fear andmove forward inspite of it, you are better prepared to challenge the next one. In time, youdevelopthehabitofwinningoverfear,thesmallervictoriespavingthewayforthe greater ones.Eventually, fear is no longer amajor problem and no longersendsyouonunnecessarydetoursfromthesuccessjourney.

FeedYourFaith,NotYourFearThebottomline is thatyouhaveachoice.Youcanfeedyourfears,oryou

canstarvethem.Bothfearandfaithwillbewithyoueveryminuteofeveryday.Buttheemotionthatyoucontinuallyacton—theoneyoufeed—dominatesyourlife.Actingontherightemotionliftsyoutosuccess,whileactingonthewrongonestartsyouonadishearteningdetour.

Theironyisthatthesuccessfulpersonwhokeepsgrowing,takingrisks,andmoving forward feels the same feelings of fear as the onewho allows fear tostophim.Thedifferencecomesbecauseonedoesn’tletfeardominate,whiletheotherdoes.

ThePowerofFailure

Afewyearsago,myfriendMaxLucadovisitedme.Hewantedtosharpenhisleadership skills, and he asked me to give him a hand. So he came for theweekend,andwehadawonderfultime.Maxisanincrediblewriter—oneofthefinest Christianwriters today. Aswe ate dinner one night, I asked him aboutgettinghisfirstbookpublished.

“Well,”hesaid,“inthebeginning,nobodywantedtopublishmystuff.”I almost chokedonmy food. “What?” I said. “Whatdoyoumeannobody

wantedtopublishyourstuff?”Max’sprosereadslikepoetry.It’sbeautiful.“Nobodywantedtopublishit,”heanswered.“Isentmyfirstmanuscriptout

toatleastfifteenpublishersbeforeonefinallysaidyes.”“Ibetsomeofthosepublishersarekickingthemselvesnow,”Isaid.Maxhas

published a lot of books since then, and I’m guessing he has sold a couplemillioncopies.“Whenyouweretryingtogetthatfirstoneaccepted,didn’tyouevergetdiscouragedandthinkaboutgivingup?”

“No,”hesaid.“EverytimeIgotthemanuscriptback,Ithought,Well,I’lljusttryanotherpublisher.”

That’s when it hit me. Max had something that just about all successfulpeoplehave:theabilitytofail.

“Wait a minute!” you may be saying. “I thought we were talking aboutcreatinga roadmap forsuccess.Doesn’t successmean avoiding failure?”Theanswerisno.Allofusfail.Aswetravel,weallhitpotholes,takewrongturns,orforgettochecktheradiator.Theonlypersonwhoavoidsfailurealtogetheristhe person who never leaves her driveway. So the real issue is not whetheryou’regoingtofail.It’swhetheryou’regoingtofailsuccessfully(profitingfromyour failure) or allow failure to send you on a permanent detour. As NelsonBoswell observed, “The difference between greatness andmediocrity is oftenhow an individual views mistakes.” If you want to continue on the successjourney,youneedtolearntofailforward.

UseFailureasaSpringboard

Unsuccessfulpeopleareoftensoafraidoffailureandrejectionthat theyspendtheir whole lives avoiding risks or decisions that could lead to failure. Theydon’t realize that success is based on their ability to fail and continue trying.Whenyouhavetherightattitude,failureisneitherfatalnorfinal.Infact,itcanbe a springboard to success. Leadership expert Warren Bennis interviewed

seventyof thenation’s topperformers invariousfieldsandfound thatnoneofthemviewedhismistakesasfailures.Whentalkingaboutthem,theyreferredtotheir “learning experiences,” “tuition paid,” “detours,” and “opportunities forgrowth.”2

Successfulpeopledon’tletfailuregototheirheads.Insteadofdwellingonthenegativeconsequencesoffailure,thinkingofwhatmighthavebeenandhowthingshaven’tworkedout,theyfocusontherewardsofsuccess:learningfromtheirmistakes and thinking about how they can improve themselves and theirsituations.Dependingonyourattitudetowardit,failurecaneitherbogyoudownorhelpyoualongonyourjourney.

HowtoFailForward

Perhapsthisisn’tthefirsttimeyou’veheardthisperspectiveonfailure.Maybeyou’rewillingtoacknowledgethepossibilitiesthatthisapproachcanoffer,butyou’vehadatoughtimelivingitout.

Pleaseletmehelpyouchangeyourthinkingaboutfailureandapproachitinanentirelydifferentway.Witheachfailure,youcanmoveonestepfartheronthesuccess journey. As hotel executive Conrad Hilton put it, “Successful peoplekeepmoving.Theymakemistakes,buttheydon’tquit.”Herearetenguidelinestohelpyouchangefailurefromdetourtodividend:

AppreciatetheValueofFailureNeverforgetthatyoucannottakethesuccessjourneywithoutexperiencing

failure.Infact,trainyourselftothinkoffailuresasmileagemarkers.Eachtimeyou fail, know that you’ve traveled another mile farther on the road to yourpotential.

Failure has another value: it strengthens you. Henry Ward Beecher,nineteenth-centuryauthor,clergyman,andoutspokenopponent toslavery,said,“It is defeat that turns bone to flint, and gristle tomuscle, andmakes peopleinvincible, and formed those heroic natures that are now in ascendancy in theworld.Donot,then,beafraidofdefeat.Youareneversoneartovictoryaswhendefeatedinagoodcause.”Eachtimeyouexperienceafumble,failure,ordefeat,remind yourself that you’re one step closer to your potential and your dream.You’relearningtofailforwardtosuccess.

Don’tTakeFailurePersonallyMostpeoplewhonever learn tofail forwardarestoppedbecause they take

failurepersonally.Theystartsayingtothemselves,“Whycan’tyoudoanythingright?”or“Youshouldn’thavetried;youknewyoucouldn’tdoit,”or“Seethat;you’reafailure!”Butthereisahugedifferencebetweensaying“Ihavefailed”and“Iamafailure.”Someonewhohasfailedcanlearnfromhermistakesandmoveon.Itdoesn’tchangewhosheis.Butthepersonwhotellshimself,“Iamafailure,” gives himself little hope of improvement.Nomatterwhat he does orwhere he goes, his failure stays with him because he has internalized it. Hemakesitaninseparablepartofhim.Askingsomeonewhohasconvincedhimselfthatheisafailuretobesuccessfulwouldbelikeaskinganappletreetoproducecantaloupes.Itcan’tbedone.

When I think back on my life, I realize that I took failure a lot morepersonally when I was younger, less experienced, and less successful. Mymistakeslookedalotbiggertomethen.Butastimehasgoneby,I’velearnedtoacceptmy limitationsaswell asmystrengths,understand that everything Idoisn’tgoingtobesuccessful,andtellmyself,“Isuremessedthatup.I’lldobetternexttime.”

Ifyou’reinthehabitofassassinatingyourowncharacterorquestioningyourtalent every time something goes wrong, stop it. Making mistakes is likebreathing; it’ssomethingyou’llkeepdoingaslongasyou’realive.Solearntolivewithitandmoveon.

LetFailureRedirectYouSometimesfailuresignalsthatit’stimeforachangeindirection.Ifyoukeep

hitting thewall, itmaybe time tobackup and look for thedoor. If youkeeptaking the samedetour,maybe it’snot adetourbutyourmain road.However,whenyouexperiencefailureafterfailurebutyourdreamburnswithinyoujustasstrongly as ever, keep going. Also recognize that some of the greatestaccomplishmentsoflifeliterallywerebirthedoutoffailure.

For example, look at the life of John JamesAudubon.He is considered apioneerinwildlifestudyandpreservation.Butintheearly1800s,hewasmerelyan unsuccessful shopkeeper in Louisville, Kentucky. He attempted to supporthimself and hiswife, Lucy, in that occupation, but after struggling for elevenyears,he finallywentbankrupt.That failurepromptedhim topursuehis life’swork—observing, drawing, and painting wildlife, the thing for which he will

alwaysberemembered.Ifyou’rerepeatedlyexperiencingfailurebutyouwanttofailforward,allow

your mistakes to redirect you. Maybe you’re working someplace where youdon’treallyfit.Thatdoesn’tmeanthatyou’rebadorwrong.It justmeansthatyou need tomake an adjustment. If one door repeatedly closes on you, don’tstand there forever wondering why you can’t get it open. Look around foranotheropendoor.Onemaybestandingopenrightnowthatyou’vecontinuallyoverlooked.

KeepaSenseofHumorWhen all else fails, laugh. That’s my motto. It’s easy to laugh when

everything isgoinggreat,but it’s important to laughwheneverything isgoingwrong.Nothing improves emotional health like laughter. It relieves stress andhelpsyouquicklyputyourmistakesintoperspective.

Asyoumakemistakesonthesuccessjourney,keepeverythinginapositive,humorous perspective. Try to look at life the way professional hockey coachHarryNealedidduringatoughtime.Hequipped,“Lastseason,wecouldn’twinat home and we were losing on the road. My failure as a coach was that Icouldn’tthinkofanyplaceelsetoplay.”

AskWhy,NotWhoWhenthingsgowrong,thenaturaltendencyistolookforsomeonetoblame.

YoucangoallthewaybacktotheGardenofEdenonthisone.WhenGodaskedAdamwhathehaddone,hesaiditwasEve’sfault.ThenwhenGodquestionedEve,sheblameditonthesnake.Thesamethinghappenstoday.Whenyouaskyour daughter why she hit her brother, she says it’s his fault. When thequarterback throws an interception, he says the receiver ran the wrong route.Whenyouaskanemployeewhyhedidn’tmeetadeadline,hepointshisfingeratsomeoneelseorcitescircumstancesbeyondhiscontrol.Andwewon’teventalkaboutallthelawsuitsinwhichpeopleblameothersfortheirproblems.

Thenexttimeyouexperienceafailure,thinkaboutwhyyoufailedinsteadofwhowasatfault.Trytolookatitobjectivelysothatyoucandobetternexttime.My friend Bobb Biehl suggests a list of questions to help you analyze anyfailure:

•WhatlessonshaveIlearned?

•AmIgratefulforthisexperience?•HowcanIturnthefailureintosuccess?•Practicallyspeaking,wheredoIgofromhere?•Whoelsehasfailedinthiswaybefore,andhowcanthatpersonhelpme?•Howcanmyexperiencehelpotherssomedaytokeepfromfailing?•DidIfailbecauseofanotherperson,becauseofmysituation,orbecauseofmyself?

•DidIactuallyfail,ordidIfallshortofanunrealisticallyhighstandard?•WheredidIsucceedaswellasfail?

Peoplewhoblameothersfortheirfailuresneverovercomethem.Theymovefrom problem to problem, and as a result, they never experience success. Toreachyourpotential,youmust continually improveyourself, andyoucan’tdothat if you don’t take responsibility for your actions and learn from yourmistakes.

MakeFailureaLearningExperienceTobesuccessful,youneedtodeveloptheabilitytolearnfromyourmistakes.

You see, asDr.RonaldNiednagel said, “Failure isn’t failure unless you don’tlearnfromit.”Thatlearningprocesschangeswhatcouldbeapermanentdetourintoaspringboardtoyourpotential.

Letme sharewith you one of themost inspirational stories I’ve ever readthatillustratesthisidea.ItcomesfromthebookDaleCarnegie:TheManWhoInfluencedMillionsbyGilesKempandEdwardClaflin.ThenameCarnegie issynonymouswith success. His Dale Carnegie Institute for Effective SpeakingandHumanRelationscurrentlytrainspeopleallovertheworld.HisbookHowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeoplehassoldmore thanfifteenmillioncopiesandcontinuestosellsixtyyearsafteritwasfirstpublished.

But Carnegie’s early life was plagued by failure. He grew up in poverty.WhenhedeterminedtoattendteacherscollegeinWarrensburg,Missouri,hewasabletodosoonlybylivingathomeandridingtoschooleachdayonhorseback.

Interested inpublicspeaking fromhis teenyears,Carnegiedecided thathewantedtoearnrecognitionatthecollegebyenteringspeechcontests.Heneverwonasingleone,buthelearnedeachtimehetriedandfailed.

Despitehishardworkatthecollege,hefailedtograduatewhenhecouldn’t

passLatin.SohemovedfromMaryville,Missouri,toNewYorkCity,wherehetriedactingandsales,buthecontinuedtocomeupshort.

Thenhegotwhatturnedouttobeagoldenopportunity.Heappliedforajobat the YMCA teaching classes on public speaking. Because he lackedexperience, the YMCA didn’t offer him the usual salary of two dollars persession.Instead,hewasacceptedonatrialbasis.Ifhewaseffectiveandretainedstudents,hewouldearnmoney.Ifnot,hewasoutofajob.

Though he had failed towin a speech contest or become successful as anactor, he succeeded at the YMCA. Those early detours had taught him a lot.Soonhewasdevelopinghisowncoursesandwritingpamphlets thathewouldlaterpublishasbooks.AsKempandClaflinwrote,“Carnegie rose to fameasoneofthemosteffectivetrainersofspeakersandoneofthebest-sellingauthorsofalltime.Twokeysenabledhimtoturnfailureintosuccess:hisunwillingnesstobestoppedbyfailure,andhiswillingnesstolearnfromfailure.”3

Willingness to learn from failure and the ability to overcome it areinseparablylinkedtoeachother.Ifyou’renotcontinuallylearning,you’regoingtomake the samemistakes over andover again. It’s okay if you fall down aslongasyoulearnsomethingasyougetup.

Don’tLetFailureKeepYouDownAustinO’Malley asserted, “The fact that you have been knocked down is

interesting,butthelengthoftimeyouremaindownisimportant.”Asyoutravelon thesuccess journey,youwillhaveproblems.Areyougoing togiveupandstaydown,wallowinginyourdefeat,orareyougoingtogetbackonyourfeetasquicklyasyoucan?Orasacollegefriendofmineusedtosay,“I’mneverdown;I’meitheruporgettingup.”

A lot of people don’t think that way. Some have been down so long thatthey’re more comfortable lying down than they are getting back up. It hasbecomeawayoflifeforthem.Infact,somenotonlystaydown,buttheywilltrytotripyouup.Sincethey’renolongerinterestedingettingup,theirgoalinlife is topull someoneelsedown tomake themselves feelbetter. Ifyouknowpeoplewhoactlikethis,steerclearofthem.

Whenyoufall,makethebestofitandgetbackonyourfeet.Learnwhatyoucanfromyourmistake,andthengetbackinthegame.ViewyourerrorsthewayHenry Ford did his. He said, “Failure is the opportunity to begin againmoreintelligently.”

UseFailureasaGaugeforGrowthWhenmostpeopletrytogaugesuccess,theyjudgeitaccordingtohowlittle

failuretheyfind.Iftheyseeflopsorfumbles,theysay,“Hesurehasmessedupalot. He’s a failure.” But that’s exactly opposite of how successful people seefailure. They already know what the editors of Fortune magazine found outseveralyearsagowhentheyanalyzedsuccessfulpeople.Mostsuccessesfailedanaverageofseventimesbeforetheysucceeded.Yousee,themoreyoutry,thegreateramountoffailureyouarelikelytoexperience—andthegreateramountof success. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather reach 90 percent of mypotentialwithplentyofmistakesthanreachonly10percentwithaperfectscore.

SeetheBigPictureNothing isbetter athelpingyoudealwith failure thanperspective.Letme

giveyou an example.TomLandry,ChuckNoll, andBillWalsh accounted fornineofthefifteenSuperBowlvictoriesbetween1974and1989.Doyouknowwhatelsetheyhaveincommon?Theyalsohadtheworstfirst-seasonrecordsofanyheadcoachesinNFLhistory.Isn’tthatincredible?Iftheyhadjudgedtheirpotential for success on their first year in professional football, they probablywouldhavequit.Iflifewereasnapshot,andithadbeentakenduringtheirlosingseasons, they would have been in trouble. But life isn’t a snapshot—it’s amovingpicture.Theywereable toovercometheirfailingsandcontinueonthejourneytoreachingtheirpotential.

Theirfailurewasnotfinal,andneitherisyours.Thenexttimeyoublowit,thinkaboutthebigpicture.Therewillbeotherdays.Weallmakemistakes,butwecancomeback.

Don’tGiveUpImentionedbeforethatoccasionally,failureisasignthatyoushouldexplore

otheropportunities.Althoughthatissometimestrue,mostoftensuccesscomesas the result of good, old-fashioned tenacity. B. C. Forbes said, “History hasdemonstrated that themost notablewinners usually encountered heartbreakingobstacles before they triumphed. They finally won because they refused tobecomediscouragedbytheirdefeats.”Failurecomeseasilytoeveryone,butthepriceofsuccessisperseverance.

Icouldn’tbegintolistallmyfailures,butIcantellyouwithcertaintythatI’llcontinue toadd to that list. Ihope tohave twentymoregoodyears,and in

thattime,I’llkeepfailing.TheissueisnotwhetherIamgoingtofail.Instead,whenIfail,IneedtodeterminewhetherI’mgoingtofailbackwardorforward—that’stherealquestion.Thedetourscanmakeapersonbetterorbitter.It’smychoice.Andit’salsoyours.

StepstoTakeAlongtheWay

HowDoIHandletheDetours?

Now is the time to starthandling the twodetours—fearand failure—inawaythathelpsyoualonginyourjourney.

1.Fear:Thekeytoovercomingfearandgrowingtoyourpotentialisaction.Itbreaksthecycleoffear.Lookatthefollowing:

Fear>Inaction>LackofExperience>Ignorance>IncreasedFear

Butwhenyoureplaceinactionwithaction,lookatwhathappens:

Fear>Action>Experience>Wisdom>DecreasedFearandIncreasedSuccess

Positiveactioninthefaceoffearovercomesitandleadstomoreaction,lessfear,andmoresuccess.Answereachofthefollowingquestionstohelpyoutakethenextsteponthesuccessjourney:

a)Whatfearstandsinthewayofyournextsteponthejourney?

[YourResponse]

b)Measureyourfearagainstyourdreamandthedevelopmentofyourpotential:

BenefitsofOvercomingtheFear

BenefitsofAvoidingtheFear

[YourResponse]

c)Listthethingsyoucanandcannotcontrolconcerningyourfear:

ThingsICanControl ThingsICannotControl

[YourResponse]

Makeacommitment tostopdwellingon the thingsyoucannotcontrolandworkhardonthethingsyoucan.

d)Giveyourselfadeadlinetoact.Onwhatdaywillyoubegintoactivelyfaceyourfearanddoitanyway?

[YourResponse]

e)Writeacredotohelpyoufaceandovercomeyourfearsinthefuture:

[YourResponse]

2.Failure:Usearecentmajorfailureasaspringboardtosuccess.Respondtothefollowingtoworkthroughtheprocess:

a)Describeyourmostrecentfailure.

[YourResponse]

Make sure you aren’t taking it personally.Check to see that you have notwrittensomethingsuchas,“I’mabaddriver,”insteadof“Ihadanaccident.”

b)Howlonghasitbeensinceitoccurred?Areyouallowingittokeepyoudown?Ifso,whatcanyoudotobounceback?

[YourResponse]

c)Isittimetousethisfailuretoredirectyourcourse?Ifyes,how?

[YourResponse]

d)Whatcanyoulearnfromthisexperience?

[YourResponse]

e)Whatisthebigpicture?Whereandhowcanthisfailurefitinthetimelineofyourlife?

[YourResponse]

f)Memorizethesewords:Iwillnolongeravoidfailure.Itisanormalpartoflife.Iwilltakerisks.Iwilldomybest.WhenIdofail,Iwilllearnfromitandmoveon.Failureismyspringboardtosuccess.

[YourResponse]

O

7

AreWeThereYet?

na flight toSanDiego from theeasternUnitedStates, Iwas sitting inmyseat trying to finish up a project I had been working on when the pilot

announcedthatwewerestartingtomakeourdescentintothecity.Icouldheareveryone around me straightening up seats and packing up belongings. But Ikeptworking.IknewIhadanotherfewminutesbeforeIneededtoputmyfilesbackinmybriefcaseandgetreadytoleavetheplane.

WheneverIflytoSanDiego,Icanalwaystellhowclosewearetolanding.IfI’msittingontheleftsideoftheplane,whentheCoronadoBridgecomesintoview,spanningSanDiego’sbeautifulbay,Iknowwe’reonlyafewsecondsfromtouchingdownontherunwayatLindberghField,andthat’swhenIpackupmystuff.Yousee,whenyou’vetakenatripoften,youcometoknowwhereyouareandwhenyou’reabouttoreachyourdestination.

Childrencertainlyhaveahardertimeknowingwheretheyareonatripthanweadultsdo.Especiallywhenthey’reyoung,theydon’thaveaverygoodsenseofthepassageoftime.Andtheydon’tnaturallyhaveagraspofthebigpictureeither.

Childrencanovercome their lackofperspectiveby learning the landmarksonthejourney.Forexample,whenIwasakid,Iusedtoloveitwhenourfamilypackedupanddrove fromourhome inCircleville,Ohio, tomygrandparents’house in the suburbsofDetroit,Michigan. It tookusquite a fewhours togetthere, and we didn’t have to make the trip too many times before we beganlearningthelandmarks.OurfavoritewasthecitylimitssignofFinley,Ohio.WeknewthatwhenwegottoFinley,wewereatthehalfwaypoint,andtheendofthetripfinallyseemedtobeinsight.

LookfortheLandmarks

When it comes to the success journey, a lot of adults are in the same boat aschildren.Theyseemtocontinuallyask thequestion,“AmI thereyet?”Partofthatcomesfromanimpatienceaboutbeingsuccessful,butitalsoindicatesthattoomanypeople—despitetheirhardwork—can’ttellifthey’remakingprogressonthejourneyornot.

Ifyou’resilentlyaskingyourselfthatquestion,thefirstthingIwouldtellyouis to ask yourself a different question. You need to ask: Am I headed there?Remember, your goal is not to reach a destination; it’s to take a journey. ThesecondthingIwouldsayistolookforthelandmarks.

Youmaybesayingtoyourself,“WhydoIneedtoknowaboutlandmarks?Haven’t I already identifiedmygoals?Aren’t theymy landmarks?”These aregoodquestions.But there aremajor differencesbetweengoals and landmarks.Goalsgenerallyprovideanexternaltargettoshootatinordertoaccomplishyourdream.Butsuccess landmarksareinternal,notexternal.Theymarkchangesinyou—inyour thinkingandattitudes—that are then reflectedoutwardly inhowyouact.Themorelandmarksyoupassontheinside,thefartheryouwilltravelontheoutside.

WhatItCoststoReachaLandmark

Ralph Waldo Emerson pointed out, “For everything you gain, you losesomething.”Put anotherway,you could say that for everythingyougain, youpaysomething.

Reaching landmarks on the success journey requires commitment andpersistence.Italsorequiressacrifice.Toreacheachlandmark,youhavetogiveupsomethingofvalue.It’saseriesoftrade-offs.PopularspeakerandfriendEdColedeclared,“Alloflifeislivedonlevelsandarrivedatinstages.”

Allowmetoshareseveralofthemostsignificanttrade-offsyouwillhavetomakeinordertokeepmovingtoahigherlevelduringthesuccessjourney.Togotothehighestlevelofsuccess,youwillneedtochoose.

AchievementoverAffirmationWhenIwasinmyearlytwentiesandworkinginmyfirst jobasapastor,I

was a people pleaser. Receiving affirmation from others was probably mypredominant motivation in life. And when I didn’t receive the recognition Idesired, it really bothered me. I found out howmuch it bothered me when Iattendedmyfirstgeneralconference.

Iwasreallyexcitedaboutgoingto theconferencebecauseIhadbeenverysuccessfulinmyfirstposition,andIwasanxioustosharemyaccomplishmentswitheveryone,includingsomeoftheguysIhadgonetoschoolwithandotherpeopleIhadgotten toknowover theyears.Mysituationwouldhavebeen theequivalentofacompany’snewsalesman taking thesmallest territoryavailableanddevelopingprospectsandbusiness relationships thatnoonebelievedwerepossible—and thengeneratingmore revenue than the experienced salesmen interritoriesthreetimeslarger.

IexpectedeveryoneImettobehappyforme.Afterall,wewereallonthesame team,working toward thesamegoalofhelpingpeople.But thatwasnotwhatIfound.NobodywantedtohearabouthowwellIwasdoing,andIdidn’tgettheaffirmationIwantedsomuch.Iadmit,Iwasprobablyalittletoocockyatthetime,andImayhaverubbedafewpeoplethewrongway.ButIalsolearnedan incrediblyvaluable lesson.Affirmationfromothers is fickleandfleeting. Ifyouwant tomakean impactduringyour lifetime,youhave to trade thepraiseyoucouldreceivefromothersfor the thingsofvaluethatyoucanaccomplish.Youcan’tbe“oneoftheboys”andfollowyourdestinyatthesametime.

A friend once explained something tome that illustrates this concept verywell.He grew up near theAtlanticOcean,where people catch blue crabs fordinner.Hetoldmethatastheycatchthecrabs,they’lltossthemintoabucketorbasket.Hesaid that ifyouhaveonlyonecrab in thebasket,youneeda lid tokeepitfromcrawlingout,butifyou’vegottwoormore,youdon’t.Thatdidn’tmake any sense tome until he explained further.He said thatwhen there areseveral crabs, they will drag one another down so that none of them can getaway.

I’ve found that some unsuccessful people act the same way. They do allkindsof things tokeepothersfromgettingahead, trying toprevent themfromimprovingthemselvesor theirsituations.Theyuseallkindsofdevices tokeepothers in the basket with them: playing politics, promoting mediocrity, role-playing,andsoon.Butthegoodnewsisthatifpeopletrytodothat,youdon’thavetobuyintotheirbeliefsystem.Youcanstayoutofthebasketbyrefusingtobeacrab.Youmayhavetofaceoppositionandlivethroughtimesofinsecurity,butyou’ll alsoexperience freedom, increasedpotential, and satisfaction.Raise

yourselfup,andraiseotherswithyou.Makingthedecisiontotradeaffirmationforachievementmaybeoneofthe

greatestobstaclesyouface.Butwhenyou’rewillingtodoit,youhavepassedanimportantlandmarkonthesuccessjourney.

ExcellenceoverAcceptabilityMaking a commitment to excellence is a fundamental step on the success

journey.MyfriendChuckSwindoll,chancellorofDallasTheologicalSeminary,noted:

Competitiveexcellencerequires100percentallofthetime.Ifyoudoubtthat, trymaintainingexcellencebysettingyourstandardsat92percent.Oreven95percent.Peoplefigurethey’redoingfinesolongastheygetsomewhere near it. Excellence gets reduced to acceptable, and beforelong, acceptable doesn’t seemworth the sweat if you can get by withadequate.Afterthat,mediocrityisonlyabreathaway.

Idon’tknowaboutyou,butI’venevermetamanorwomanofsuccesswhohasn’tpassedthelandmarkofdedicationtopersonalexcellence.

Believeitornot,lackofexcellencehasnothingtodowithtalent,personality,conditions,orluck.Excellenceisalwaysachoice.WillaA.Fostercommented,“Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincereeffort,intelligentdirectionandskillfulexecution;itrepresentsthewisechoiceofmanyalternatives.”

To achieve excellence over what’s merely adequate, follow theserecommendations:

•Payattentiontodetails:Ittakesalotoflittlethingstoaddupto100percent.

•Seekcontinualimprovement:NBAcoachPatRileysaid,“Excellenceisthegradualresultofalwaysstrivingtodobetter.”

•Practiceself-discipline:Dailydisciplinesseparatetheexcellentfromthemediocre.Ifyouwanttochangeyourself,youmustchangesomethingyoudoeveryday.

•Maintainhighpersonalstandards:D.BruceLockerbie,formerscholarinresidenceattheStonyBrookSchoolinNewYork,insisted,“Mediocrity

isn’tatrootanationalproblemnoracorporateorinstitutionalproblem;noradepartmentalproblem...Yousee,mediocrityisfirst,apersonaltrait,apersonalconcessiontolessthanourbest...Mediocrityalwaysbeginswithme!”

Yourlevelofperformanceisachoice.Youcansettleformediocrity,oryoucanstriveforexcellence.Butknowthis:youcan’tmakeadequacyyourgoalandreachyourpotential.

FuturePotentialoverFinancialGainMany things in lifehavegreatervalue thanmoney.Possibly thegreatest is

personalpotential.I’vefrequentlytradedfinancialgainfortheprospectoffuturepotential, particularly when managing my career. Aside from my role as thefounder of INJOY, and later, the JohnMaxwellCompany, I’ve held only fourpositionsinmorethanfortyyears.WhenIacceptedmyfirstpositionstraightoutof college, I selected the lower paying of the two positions Iwas consideringbecauseitofferedmoreopportunityformetogrow.Andinthetwoandahalfdecadessincethen,IacceptedonlyonepositionthatofferedahighersalarythantheoneIleft.Ineveryothercase,Igladlyacceptedacutinpaytoreceivetheopportunity for greater potential. Potential realizedbrings a person to awholenewlevelofliving.Eachtimeyourelinquishthepossibilityoffinancialgainforan opportunity at future potential, you’ll pass another major landmark on thesuccessjourney.Moneyoftenbringsoptions,butitdoesn’tnecessarilyaddvalueto your life. As you make decisions on the success journey, base them onpotential,notdollars.

ANarrowFocusoverScatteredInterestsWhenyou’reyoungandfirststartingout,youwoulddowelltotrydifferent

things.That’sonewayforyoutolearnyourstrengthsanddiscoveryourdreams.Besides,peoplewithanI-don’t-do-that-kind-of-workattitudewhohaven’tpaidtheir dues don’t go very far. Being able to focus your attention almostexclusivelyonwhatyoudobestisaprivilegeyouearn,notaright.Butifyou’regoingtogoveryfaronthesuccessjourney,atsomepointyoumustnarrowyourfocus.It’samajorlandmarkyoupassinthesecondhalfofyourlife.

If you’ve seen the movie City Slickers, you probably remember a scenebetweenBilly Crystal, who played a city slicker outWest on a vacation, and

JackPalance,whoplayedacrusty,oldcowboy.Here’show their conversationwent:

Palance:Howoldareyou?Thirty-eight?Crystal:Thirty-nine.Palance: Yeah. You all come out here about the same age. Same

problems.Spendfiftyweeksayeargettingknotsinyourrope—thenyouthinktwoweeksupherewilluntiethemforyou.Noneofyougetit.[Longpause]Doyouknowwhatthesecretoflifeis?

Crystal:No,what?Palance:It’sthis.[Holdsuphisindexfinger]Crystal:Yourfinger?Palance:Onething.Justonething.Yousticktothatandeverythingelse

don’tmeannothing.Crystal:That’sgreat,butwhat’stheonething?Palance:That’swhatyou’vegottofigureout.

Thecowboywasright.That’swhatyou’vegottofigureout.Andwhenyoudo,you thenhave tobewilling togiveupa lotof the less important things inyourlifefortheopportunitytodothatonebigthing.

SignificanceoverSecurityMostpeopleenjoyfeelingsecure.Buttokeepmovingtoahigherleveland

reachyourpotential,youalsohavetobewillingtobypassanotherlandmarkandtrade security for significance.NewsmanTomBrokaw observed, “It’s easy tomakeabuck.It’salottoughertomakeadifference.”Andthat’stheessenceofsignificance—the ability to make a difference in your world and the lives ofothers.

Bob Buford talks about the landmark ability of shifting your attention tosignificance in his bookHalftime.As he sees it, our lives naturally break intotwohalves,withamidpointusuallyfallingsomewherebetweenagesthirtyandfifty.Hesays,“Thefirsthalfoflifehastodowithgettingandgaining,learningandearning. . .Thesecondhalf ismoreriskybecauseithastodowithlivingbeyond the immediate.” And he adds, “If you do not take responsibility forgoingintohalftimeandorderingyourlifesothatyoursecondhalfisbetterthan

the first, you will join the ranks of those who are coasting their way toretirement.”1AccordingtoBuford,thekeytomakingyoursecondhalfcountistomaketheshifttosignificance.Theresultisthatyouwillexperiencealifeofpurposeandseethefulfillmentofyourlife’smission.

Nomatterwhen youmake the change to significance,whether it’s duringyour “halftime” or at some other time of life, know that it is one of themostsignificant, life-changing steps—and landmarks—on the success journey. It’s adecisionthat’salwaysworththeprice.

TheSecrettoContinuallyTradingUp

Asyoumakeprogressonthesuccessjourney,youwillfrequentlyfindyourselfstandingatacrossroads,andeachtimeyoudo,you’llhavetomakeadecision.Usually, you have three choices: gain something, lose something, or tradesomething.

Earlyinlife,youmakedecisionsthateitheraddorsubtract.Butastimegoesby, life gets more complicated, and if you want to keep going forward, youusually have to make more trade-offs. That’s essential to recognize. Manyunsuccessfulpeoplespendmuchoftheirlivesstandingatthecrossroadshopingforasituationwheretheycanreceivewithoutgivinganythingup—butitrarelycomes.AsmyfriendDavidJeremiahsays,“Youhavetogiveuptogoup.”Andthepeoplewhowanttomoveforwardwithoutmakinganysacrificesgetstuckatthecrossroadsandnevergoanyfartheronthesuccessjourney.

There are two keys to being able to make good trade-offs on the successjourney.Thefirstisthewillingnesstomakesacrifices.Thetruthisthatthereisno successwithout sacrifice. If you are currently succeeding and you haven’tmadeanysacrifices,thensomeonewhohasgonebeforeyouhasmadesomethatarebenefitingyou.Andifyou’remakingsacrificesnowandyou’renotseeinganysuccess,beassured,eitheryouorsomeoneelsewillenjoythefruitsofthosesacrificeslateron.

The second secret to being able to make good trade-offs is old-fashionedpersistence. You may have already heard this statement made by PresidentCalvinCoolidgebecauseMcDonald’sfounderRayKrocwasfondofquotingit:“Nothingintheworldcantaketheplaceofpersistence.Talentwillnot;nothingismorecommonthanunsuccessfulmenwithtalent.Geniuswillnot;unrewardedgenius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated

derelicts.Persistenceanddeterminationaloneareomnipotent.”Thegoodnewsisthatyoudon’thavetobebornwithpersistencetohaveit.

It’sanattitudethatyoucandevelopandstrengthen.Ifyou’reinclinedtogiveininsteadofdigin,increaseyourpersistencelevelbydoingthefollowing:

DevelopCharacterNoqualitywilleverserveyoubetteronthesuccessjourneythancharacter.

Robert A. Cook declared, “There is no substitute for character. You can buybrains,butyoucannotbuycharacter.”Itnotonlyhelpsyougofar,butithelpsyoutomaketherightdecisionsalongtheway.

Takealookatthedifferencesbetweentheapproachestothesuccessjourneyofpeoplewithoutcharacterandwithit:

WithoutCharacter WithCharacterDoeswhat’seasiestControlledbymoodsLooksforexcuses

QuitswhenchallengedReliesonexternalmotivationWordsandactionsdon’tmatch

Choicesleadtofailure

Doeswhat’srightControlledbyvaluesLooksforsolutions

PersevereswhenchallengedReliesoninternalmotivationWordsandactionsagreeChoicesadduptosuccess

OlympictrackchampionJesseOwenssaid,

Thereissomethingthatcanhappentoeveryathlete,everyhumanbeing—it’stheinstincttoslackoff,togiveintothepain,togivelessthanyourbest...theinstincttohopetowinthroughluckoryouropponents’notdoingtheirbest,insteadofgoingtothelimitandpastyourlimit,wherevictoryisalwaystobefound.Defeatingthosenegativeinstinctsthatareout to defeat us is the difference betweenwinning and losing, andwefacethatbattleeverydayofourlives.

Jesse Owens overcame those negative instincts. He set world records injuniorhighschool.Thenhecontinuedtoimproveandsetaworldrecordinhighschool.Whenhegottocollege,hedidn’tletup.Inonetrackmeethesetthreeworldrecordsinlessthananhour.Andthenin1936,heshowedthedepthofhis

characterandhisdedicationtopersistencewhilecompetingintheOlympicsinthe heart of hostile Nazi Germany. He tied one world record and set threeOlympic recordswhilewinning four goldmedals.His accomplishments are atestimonytohisdedication,andtheyareasolidexampleoftheroleofcharacterwhenitcomestosuccess.

FocusontheBigPictureJesse Owens is certainly one of the most beloved champions in Olympic

history,butnotjustwinnersshowwhatittakestobesuccessful.OnanOctoberevening in 1968, a group of die-hard spectators remained in Mexico City’sOlympicStadiumtoseethelastfinishersof theOlympicmarathon.Morethanan hour before,MamoWolde of Ethiopia had won the race to the exuberantcheers of onlookers. But as the crowd watched and waited for the lastparticipants,itwasgettingcoolanddark.

It looked as if the last runners were finished, so the remaining spectatorswerebreakingupand leavingwhentheyheard thesoundsofsirensandpolicewhistles coming from the marathon gate into the stadium. And as everyonewatched, one last runner made his way onto the track for the last lap of thetwenty-six-milerace.ItwasJohnStephenAkhwarifromTanzania.Asheranthe400-metercircuit,peoplecouldseethathislegwasbandagedandbleeding.Hehadfallenandinjureditduringtherace,buthehadn’tletitstophim.Thepeopleinthestadiumroseandapplaudeduntilhereachedthefinishline.

Ashehobbledaway,hewasaskedwhyhehadnotquit, injuredashewasand having no chance of winning a medal. “My country did not send me toMexicoCitytostarttherace,”heanswered.“Theysentmetofinishtherace.”2

Akhwarilookedbeyondthepainofthemomentandkepthiseyeonthebigpictureofwhyhewasthere.Asyoumakethesuccessjourney,keepinmindthatyourgoalistofinishtherace—todothebestyou’recapableofdoing.Youwerecreatedwithapurpose.Makeyourdecisionsandplanyoureffortsaccordingly.

GetRidofExcusesGeorgeWashingtonCarversaid,“Ninety-ninepercentoffailurescomefrom

people who have the habit of making excuses.” Carver was no stranger toadversity and could have easily made excuses for not succeeding. But thatwasn’thisway.Despitebeingbornintoslavery,heroseabovehiscircumstances.HeearnedaB.S.andthenanM.S.inagriculturefromIowaStateCollege,and

hededicatedhimselftoteachingpoorAfrican-Americanfarmers.HedevelopedanextensionprogramatAlabama’sTuskegeeInstitute to taketheclassroomtothepeopleintheSouth,teachingagriculturemethodsandhomeeconomics.Andhis research resulted in the development of hundreds of products made fromcropssuchaspeanutsandsweetpotatoes.Hedidall thatdespiteworkingwithlimitedresourcesandopportunitiesbecauseofsegregation.Whereothersmighthaveofferedexcuses,Carverachievedexcellence.

Unsuccessfulpeoplecanalwaysfindreasonsforwhythey’renotdoingwell.Butsuccessfulpeopledon’tmakeexcuses,evenwhen theycould justify them.Nomatterwhatthecircumstances,theymakethebestofthingsandkeepmovingforward.That’swhatitmeanstopersevere.

UnderstandtheOddsOnceyouunderstandwhatittakestobesuccessful,youunderstandtherole

that perseverance plays. You are able to beat the odds only if you have thedisciplinetokeepgoingwhenothersquit.AsPresidentHarryTrumansaid,“Inreadingthelivesofgreatmen,Ifoundthatthefirstvictorytheywonwasoverthemselves.Self-disciplinewithallofthemcamefirst.”

I read the results of a survey conducted by the National Sales ExecutiveAssociation.Here’swhattheyfound:

•80percentofallnewsalesaremadeafterthefifthcalltothesameprospect.

•48percentofallsalespersonsmakeonecall,thencrossofftheprospect.•25percentquitafterthesecondcall.•12percentcallthreetimesandthenquit.•10percentkeepcalling.

Thepeoplewhomakeupthat10percentofthesalesforcearetheoneswhomakebyfarthemajorityofsales.Andwhat’strueforsalespeopleisalsotrueforyou.Whetheryou’reanengineer,homemaker,educator,orentrepreneur,successdoesn’tresultfromsuperiortalent,intellect,orluck.Persistencepays.

StayHungryTheauthorRudyardKiplingwrote,“Ifyoudon’tgetwhatyouwant,itisa

signeitherthatyoudidnotseriouslywantit,orthatyoutriedtobargainovertheprice.”Howbadlydoyouwanttoreachyourpotentialandfulfillyourpurposein life?Areyouhungry for success? Itwill takepassiononyourpart to keepgrowing,learning,andtradingup.Andthatpassionwillfeedyourpersistence.

OvertheyearsI’vefoundthatwehavetomaketrade-offsthroughoutlifeinordertosucceed,andonlythroughwiseexchangescanwereachourpotential.The problem of many unsuccessful people is that they haven’t worked todevelopmuchworthtrading.Theywanttotradebeingacouchpotatotobecomethepresident of theNewYorkStockExchange.But it doesn’twork thatway.Youcanmakeatradeonlywhenyouhavegotsomethingworthgivingup.Andwhenyoudotrade,youdon’ttradefromthelowestleveltothehighest,skippingoverallthelevelsinbetween.Usually,you’reabletomoveonlyonelevelatatime—eitherupordown.

I hope you set your sights on moving ever forward and upward on yourjourney.Todoit,you’llneedtomaketrade-offsalongtheway,oftengivingupsomethinggoodinordertogetsomethingbetter.Butit’sapriceworthpaying.Andasyoumakethetrade-offs,keeplookingforthelandmarks.Theywilltellyou how you’re doing—and whether you’re coming closer to reaching yourpotential.

StepstoTakeAlongtheWay

AreWeThereYet?

Nowthatyouknowtheanswertothequestion,“Arewethereyet?”isalways,“Not yet,” you can focus ondevelopingpersistence andmaking the trade-offsthat will enable you to keep going to a higher level on your journey. Do thefollowingexercises.

1.DevelopingYourPersistence:HaroldSherman,authorofHowtoTurnFailureintoSuccess,haswrittenacodeofpersistence.Commitittomemorytomotivateyourselftobecomemorepersistent.

IwillnevergiveupsolongasIknowIamright.IwillbelievethatallthingswillworkoutformeifIhangontotheend.Iwillbecourageousandundismayedinthefaceofpoorodds.

Iwillnotpermitanyonetointimidateordetermefrommygoals.Iwillfighttoovercomeallphysicalhandicapsandsetbacks.IwilltryagainandagainandyetagaintoaccomplishwhatIdesire.I will take new faith and resolution from the knowledge that all

successfulmenandwomenhavehadtofightdefeatandadversity.I will never surrender to discouragement or despair no matter what

seemingobstaclesmayconfrontme.

2.MovingtotheNextLevel:Onyourcurrentsuccessjourney,whatwoulditmeanforyoutobeonthenextlevel?Wherewouldyoube?Whatwouldyoubedoingdifferently?Whatadditionalresponsibilitieswouldyouhave?Whatcouldyoutradeupto?Describeithere:

[YourResponse]

3.IdentifyingWhatYouHaveAlreadyAchieved:Whathaveyoualreadyachievedthatyouwillneedtotradetomakeittothenextlevel?Whatmustyousacrifice?(Note:Somethingsareneverworthsacrificing:yourintegrity,marriage,family,faith,etc.)

[YourResponse]

PART3

SOWINGSEEDSTHATBENEFITOTHERS

F

8

IsItaFamilyTrip?

airlyearlyinourmarriage,MargaretandIrealizedthatinmycareer,Iwouldoftenhavetheopportunitytotravel.AndwedecidedthatanytimeIgotthe

chancetogosomeplaceinterestingortoattendaneventthatweknewwouldbeexciting,shewouldcomealongwithme,evenwhenitwasdifficultfinancially.We’vedoneaprettygoodjoboffollowingthroughonthatcommitmentovertheyears.ButbecauseItravelsooften,andforalongtimeMargaretneededtostayhomewithourchildren,sometimesI’vehadtogoontripsalone.

For example, I remember taking a trip many years ago to Lancaster,Pennsylvania,toconductaconference.MargaretandIlovethatarea,especiallytheAmishcountry.Thefarmsandoldhousesareabsolutelybeautiful.On thatparticulartrip,Iwasfortunateenoughtohaveabitoffreetimetogoexploring.So I drove around and enjoyed the countryside, had a delicious home-cookedmealatalittlePennsylvaniaDutchrestaurant,anddidsomeshopping.

While I was in the area, I decided that I wasn’t going home without ahandmadequilt forMargaret. Iaskedaroundtofindthebestplace tobuyone,andIendedupatafarmhouseinthecountrythathadmorethanadozenquiltshangingonthefrontporch.Iboughtherthemostbeautifulonetheyhadandhadthemwrap it up. I couldn’twait to give it to herwhen I got home.And as Ihoped,whensheopenedthepackage,shewasdelighted.

I’ve really enjoyed bringing gifts back toMargaret and the kids over theyears.Andit’sfuntotellthemaboutsomeofthethingsthathappened.It’sawaytoshare the tripwith them.But I’vediscovered thatnomatterwhatyoubringbackorwhatyoudo to includeyour familyafteryou’vegottenback from thetrip,itdoesn’tcomparetohavingthemtherewithyou.

Ilovetakingmyfamilywithme—includingonbusinesstrips—becauseIgetthechance toshare theopportunitiesand the rewardsof the journey.Together,Margaret,Elizabeth,JoelPorter,andIwenttothecapitalsofEurope,thejunglesofSouthAmerica,theteemingcitiesofKorea,theruggedoutbackofAustralia,andon safari inSouthAfrica.Now thatmykids aremarriedwith children oftheirown,westillmake family tripsapriority.Travelling together,we’vemetwonderfulpeopleofeveryraceandamultitudeofnationalities.We’vehadthechancetoseeanddothingsthatwillremaininourmemoriesfortherestofourlives.

Thosetripshavebeenfun.Butourtravelsaroundtheglobedon’tinanywaycomparetoanothertripI’vetakenthemon:thesuccessjourney.Whatwoulditprofitmetogainthewholeworldandlosemyfamily?

As I talked topeopleabout the ideaof the success journeyand listened tothem talk about their experiences, I heard interesting stories. For example,StephanieWetzel toldmeabout an incident froma choir trip she took inhighschool.Sheandachoirofaboutfiftyweretravelingtogetheracrossthecountryon a bus along with her choir director and his whole family: his wife, high-school-agedaughter,andseven-year-oldson.

Theworstpartofthetripwasthelong,hotdriveacrossTexas.Tobreakupthemonotony,theywouldpulloveratareststopeverynowandthentogivethekidsachancetostretchtheirlegsandgotothebathroom.Aftertheyhadmadeoneofthesestopsoutinthemiddleofnowhere,theyhadbeendrivingforalmostanhourwhen theymade a discovery.They couldn’t find thedirector’s seven-year-oldson.

Theyimmediatelyturnedaroundandheadedbacktowardtherestarea.Thedirectorkeptpleadingwith thedriver togo faster.Theycouldn’t stop thinkingaboutsomeoftheterriblethingsthatcouldhavehappenedtohiminanhour’stime. By the time they finally arrived at the rest stop, they were in a panic.Everyone scrambled out of the bus and began looking for him. It didn’t takelong.One of the boys found him in themen’s room—killing flies.He hadn’tevenrealizedhehadbeenmissed.

Ifyouhavechildren,youknowhowtraumaticanincidentlikethatcanbefora parent.Yet asmuch as parents love their children, every daymany of themwalk away from their families in the pursuit of success. It’s almost as thoughthey’redrivingdowntheroad,andtheygetprettyfaralongbeforetheyrealizethey’veleftmembersoftheirfamilybehind.Thetragedyisthatmanyvaluetheircareers, success, or personal happinessmore than theydo their families.They

decidethatit’stoomuchworktogoback,sotheyjustkeepdriving.Theyleavetheirspousesandchildrenbehindtofendforthemselves,justlikethatlittleboywouldhavebeenifthechoirdirectorhadn’tgonebackforhim.

Did you know that according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, familiesdissolve at a greater rate in the United States than in any other majorindustrializedcountry?Andwealso lead in thenumberof fathersabsent fromthehome.U.S.divorcelawsarethemostpermissiveintheworld,andpeopleareusing thematanalarmingrate.1To somepeople,marriagesand familieshavebecomeacceptablecasualtiesinthepursuitofsuccess.

Butmanypeoplearenowrealizingthatthehopeofhappinessattheexpenseofbreakingupafamilyisanillusion.Youcan’tgiveupyourmarriageorneglectyour children and gain true success. Building andmaintaining strong familiesbenefitsusineveryway,includinginhelpingusmakethesuccessjourney.

StepstoBuildingaStrongFamily

Goodmarriagesandstrongfamiliesarejoys,andtheymakethesuccessjourneyworthwhile. But they don’t just happen on their own. Dr. R. C. Adams, whostudied thousands of marriages over a ten-year period, found that only 17percent of the unions he studied could be considered truly happy. And JarleBrors,directoroftheInstituteofMarriageandFamilyRelationsinWashington,D.C., said, “We are finally realizing thatwe have to go back to the basics inorder to reestablish the type of families that give us the type of security thatchildren can grow up in.” If we want to have solid families and healthymarriages,wehavetoworkhardtocreatethem.

Ifyouhaveafamily—oryouintendtohaveoneinthefuture—takealookatthe following guidelines. They helped to develop the Maxwell family, and Ibelievetheycanhelpyoutostrengthenyours.

ExpressAppreciationforEachOtherIonceheardsomeonejokethathomeistheplacewherefamilymembersgo

when they are tired of being nice to other people.Unfortunately, somehomesseemtoworkthatway.Asalesmanspendshisdaytreatinghisclientswiththeutmostkindness,ofteninthefaceofrejection,inordertobuildhisbusiness,buthe is rude tohiswifewhenhecomeshome.Oradoctorspends thedaybeing

caringandcompassionatewithherpatients,butshecomeshomeexhaustedandblowsupatherchildren.

To build a strong family, you have to make your home a supportiveenvironment.PsychologistWilliamJamesobserved,“Ineveryperson from thecradle to the grave, there is a deep craving to be appreciated.” Feelingappreciatedbringsoutthebestinpeople.Andwhenthatappreciationcomesinthehomeand iscoupledwithacceptance, love,andencouragement, thebondsbetween family members grow, and the home becomes a safe haven foreveryone.

Ibelievethattheabilitytoappreciateeachothercomesfirstfromtheabilitytounderstandhowyourfamilymembersaredesigned.Ifyou’remarried,you’reprobablyalreadyawareofmanyofthedifferencesbetweenyouandyourspouse.Youprobablyevenexpectdifferences.Butyoumaybe surprised toknow thatyourchildrenarealsolikelytobedifferent—notonlyfromeachotherbutfromyouandyourspouse.

AbookwrittenbyFlorenceLittauercalledPersonalityPlushelpedMargaretandmeunderstandourdifferenceswiththekidsandeachother.Theinformationcame as a great surprise and relief. It gave us insight into the four basicpersonalitytypes:

•Sanguine:desiresfun;isoutgoing,relationshiporiented,witty,easygoing,popular,artistic,emotional,outspoken,andoptimistic.

•Melancholy:desiresperfection;isintroverted,taskoriented,artistic,emotional,goaloriented,organized,andpessimistic.

•Phlegmatic:desirespeace;isintroverted,unemotional,strongwilled,relationshiporiented,pessimistic,andpurposedriven.

•Choleric:desirespowerorcontrol;isstrongwilled,decisive,goaloriented,organized,unemotional,outgoing,outspoken,andoptimistic.2

Everyoneinyourfamily—andforthatmatter,everypersonyoumeet—willexhibitcharacteristicsprimarilyfromoneortwoofthesepersonalitytypes.

Anothertoolforhelpingyouappreciateeachfamilymember’suniquenessistheability toseeeachother’snatural talentsor“intelligences”asdescribedbyThomas Armstrong in his book 7Kinds of Smart. When most of us look atothers,wetendtomeasurethemagainstourowntalentsoragainstatraditionalacademicviewofintelligence.ButArmstrongdescribedsevendifferentkindsof

intelligencethatallpeoplehavetoonedegreeoranother:

1.LinguisticIntelligence(theabilitytousewords):Peoplewhoaresmartinthisareacanargue,persuade,entertain,orinstructeffectivelyusingthespokenword.Theyoftenlovepuns,wordgames,andtrivia;readvoraciously;andwriteclearly.Examples:WilliamShakespeare,JamesJoyce,andAbrahamLincoln.

2.Logical-MathematicalIntelligence(workingwithnumbersandlogic):Peoplewithtalentinthisareahavetheabilitytoreason,createhypotheses,thinkintermsofcauseandeffect,andfindconceptualornumericalpatternsinthethingsaroundthem.Examples:AlbertEinstein,SirIsaacNewton,BillGates.

3.SpatialIntelligence(thinkinginpicturesandimages):Peoplewithspatialabilitycanperceive,transform,andre-createdifferentaspectsofthevisualspatialworld.Theyaresensitivetovisualdetails,canvisualizevividly,orientthemselvesinthree-dimensionalspace,andoftendraworsketchideas.Examples:PabloPicasso,ThomasEdison,andFrankLloydWright.

4.MusicalIntelligence(perceiving,appreciating,andproducingrhythmsandmelodies):Peoplewiththisintelligencehaveagoodear,cankeeptime,singintune,andlistentomusicwithdiscernment.Examples:JohannSebastianBach,GeorgeGershwin,andBeverlySills.

5.Bodily-KinestheticIntelligence(knowingthephysicalself):Peoplewithgiftsinthisareaaregoodatcontrollingtheirbodymovements,handlingobjectsskillfully,andperformingotherphysicalactivities.Examples:MichaelJordan,CharlieChaplin,andFredAstaire.

6.InterpersonalIntelligence(understandingandworkingwithpeople):Thosewhohavethisintelligenceareabletoperceiveandberesponsivetothemoods,temperaments,intentions,anddesiresofothers.Examples:RonaldReagan,MotherTeresa,andZigZiglar.

7.IntrapersonalIntelligence(knowingtheinnerself):Peoplegiftedinthisareaareintrospective,goodatassessingtheirownfeelings,andcapableofdeepspiritualorintellectualthought.Examples:JohnWesley,LaurenceOlivier,andJoyceBrothers.3

Allofushaveablendofstrengthsandweaknessesineachareathatmakes

usunique.Andonceyouhaveagoodunderstandingofhowtheothermembersofyour familyaredesigned, itbecomeseasier foryou tobemore sensitive toeachotherandtoexpressloveforeachother.

I’veheardthatforeverynegativeremarktoafamilymember, it takes fourpositive statements to counteract the damage. That’s why it’s so important tofocus on the positive aspects of each other’s personality and expressunconditionalloveforeachother,bothverballyandnonverbally.Thenthehomebecomesapositiveenvironmentforeveryone.

StructureYourLivestoSpendTimeTogetherIt’s been said that the American home has become a domestic cloverleaf

uponwhich familymembers pass each otherwhile en route to amultitude ofplacesandactivities.Thatseemstobe true.WhenIwasakid, Ispenta lotoftimewithmyparents,brother,andsister.Wewentonfamilyvacations,usuallyinthecar.WehadregularSaturdayoutingswherewedidthingstogethersuchasgoing swimming, watching a ball game, or going to themovies. And we atedinnertogethereveryday.Thatwasourspecialfamilytime,andweknewnottomakeanyplansthatconflictedwithit.

As a parent, itwas harder forme to keep that tradition alive.We’ve beengoodaboutplanningandtakingvacationstogether,butsometimeswe’vehadtobecreativetohavetimetogether.Forexample,whenthechildrenwereyounger,Ialwaystried todrive themtoschool in themorningtospendsometimewiththem.AndImadeitapracticetospendafewminuteswiththemindividuallyatbedtime.Butwith all the thingsgoingon inourbusy lives,we found that theonlywaytogettimetogetherwastoplanitcarefully.

Every month, I spend several hours examining my traveling schedule,figuringoutwhat lessonsIneed towrite, thinkingabout theprojects Ihave tocomplete,andsoon.Andat that time,I’llplanmyworkfor thewholemonth.ButbeforeImarkanydatesforwork,Iwriteinalltheimportantdatesforfamilyactivities. I’ll block out time for birthdays, anniversaries, ball games, theaterperformances, graduation ceremonies, concerts, and romantic dinners.And I’llalso schedule specialone-on-one timewithMargaret andeachof thekids andgrandkidssothatwecancontinuetobuildourrelationships.Thenoncethoseareset, I’ll planmywork schedule around them. I’vedone this foryears, and it’sbeentheonlythingthat’spreventedmyworkfromsqueezingmyfamilyoutofthe schedule. I’ve found that if I don’t strategically structuremy life to spendtimewithmyfamily,itwon’thappen.

DealwithCrisisinaPositiveWayEveryfamilyexperiencesproblems,butnotall familiesrespondto themin

the same way. And that often separates a family that’s close from one that’sbarelyholdingtogether.I’venoticedthatsomepeoplepursuingsuccessseemtoavoidthehomeenvironment.Isuspectthatonereasonisthattheyarenotabletohandle family crisis situations well. They find it easier to try to avoid theproblemsaltogether.Butthat’snotasolution.

M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled, has offered someremarkableinsightsonthesubjectofproblemsandhowwehandlethem:

Itisinthiswholeprocessofmeetingandsolvingproblemsthatlifehasmeaning. Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes betweensuccessandfailure.Problemscallforthourcourageandwisdom;indeedtheycreateourcourageandourwisdom.Itisonlybecauseofproblemsthat we grow mentally and spiritually . . . It is through the pain ofconfrontingandresolvingproblemsthatwelearn.AsBenjaminFranklinsaid,“Thosethingsthathurt,instruct.”

Ifwe are to grow as families and be successful at home aswell as in theotherareasofourlives,wemustlearntocopewiththedifficultieswefindthere.Herearesomestrategiestohelpyouwiththeproblem-solvingprocess:

•Attacktheproblem,nevertheperson.Alwaystrytobesupportiveofeachother.Remember,you’reallonthesameside.Sodon’ttakeyourfrustrationsoutonpeople.Instead,attacktheproblem.

•Getallthefacts.Nothingcancausemoredamagethanjumpingtofalseconclusionsduringacrisis.Don’twasteyouremotionalorphysicalenergychasingdownawrongproblem.Beforeyoutrytofindsolutions,besureyouknowwhat’sreallygoingon.

•Listalltheoptions.Thismaysoundabitanalytical,butitreallyhelpsbecauseyoucanlookatemotionalsubjectswithsomeobjectivity.Besides,ifyouhadaproblematwork,youwouldprobablybewillingtogothroughthisprocess.Giveanyfamilyproblematleastasmuchtimeandenergyasyouwouldaprofessionalone.

•Choosethebestsolution.Asyoudecideonasolution,alwaysremember

thatpeopleareyourpriority.Makeyourchoicesaccordingly.•Lookforthepositivesintheproblem.AsDr.Pecksaid,thetoughthingsgiveusachancetogrow.Nomatterhowbadthingslookatthemoment,justabouteverythinghassomethingpositivethatcomesfromit.

•Neverwithholdlove.Nomatterhowbadthingsgetorhowangryyouare,neverwithholdyourlovefromyourspouseorchildren.Sure,tellthemhowyoufeel.Acknowledgetheproblems.Butcontinuelovingfamilymembersunconditionallythroughitall.

This last point is the most important of all. When you feel loved andsupportedbyyourfamily,youcanweathernearlyanycrisis.Andyoucantrulyenjoysuccess.

CommunicateContinuallyAn article in theDallas Morning News reported that the average couple

married ten years or more spends only thirty-seven minutes a week inmeaningful communication. I couldhardlybelieve it.Compare that to the factthat the averageAmerican spends almost five times longer than thatwatchingtelevision every day! No wonder so many marriages are in trouble. Just likeanything else, good communication doesn’t develop by itself. It must bedeveloped,andthatprocesstakestimeandeffort.Herearesomesuggestionsforhelpingyoudoexactlythat:

•Developplatformsforcommunication.Becreativeaboutfindingreasonstotalktoeachother.Takewalkstogetherasafamilywhereyoucantalk.Callyourspouseacoupleoftimesduringtheday.Meetforlunchonedayaweek.Offertodrivethekidstosoccerpracticesoyoucantalk.Communicationcanhappenalmostanywhere.

•Controlcommunicationkillers.Thetelevision,computer,andtelephoneprobablystealthemostfamilycommunicationtime.Restricttheamountoftimeyougivethem,andyou’dbeamazedbyhowmuchtimeyouhavetotalk.

•Encouragehonestyandtransparencyinconversations.Differencesofopinionarehealthyandnormalinafamily.Encourageallfamilymemberstospeaktheirminds,andthenwhentheydo,nevercriticizeorridiculethem.

•Adoptapositivecommunicationstyle.Beconsciousofthewayyouinteractwithyourfamilymembers.Youmayhaveadoptedastylethatstiflesopencommunication.

If you’re in the habit of using any communication style other than acooperativeone,beginworkingimmediatelytochange.You’llhavetodothatifyouwanttobuildyourrelationshipwithyourfamily.

SharetheSameValuesI read an article by Dottie Enrico in USA Today called “Survey: Fallen

HeroesAmong ‘MostAdmired’Athletes.” It cameoutduringO. J.Simpson’scriminal trial for murder. The article reported on a survey performed bySponsorship Research International of Stamford, Connecticut, and the resultswere astounding. Among the top twenty athletes listed asmost admiredwereMike Tyson, O. J. Simpson, and Tonya Harding. The article went on to say,“BehavioralspecialistssaythepresenceofTyson(aconvictedrapist),Simpson(ontrialformurder),andHarding(whopleadedguiltytoconspiracy)onthelistisadisturbingstatementaboutAmericanvalues.”

Oneofthereasonspeopleseemtobegoingastraywhenitcomestovaluesisthat families don’t give them the attention they once did. Boston CollegeeducationprofessorWilliamKilpatricksaid,“Thereisamyththatparentsdon’thave the right to instill theirvalues in their children.Onceagain, the standarddogmahereisthatchildrenmustcreatetheirownvalues.Butofcourse,childrenhave precious little chance to do that . . . Does it make sense for parents toremainneutralbystanderswheneveryoneelsefromscriptwriters,toentertainers,toadvertisers,tosexeducatorsinsistonsellingtheirvaluestochildren?”4

Commonvaluesstrengthenafamilyandareespeciallybeneficialtochildrenas they grow up. A study conducted by the Search Institute showed that insingle-parent homes, children whose parent expresses and enforces standardsthriveattwicetherateofchildrenwhodon’thavevaluespromotedinasimilarway.5Andthatdoesn’teventakeintoaccountwhether thevaluesarewhatwewouldconsiderpositive.

The best way to get started inworking toward sharing common values inyour family is to identify the values you want to instill. If you’re like mostfamilies,you’veneverdonethatbefore.Buttobeabletolivethemout,youfirsthavetofindthemout.Theyarethethreetoseventhingsyou’rewillingtogoto

thematfor.Letme list foryou the fivewe’ve identified in theMaxwell familyso that

youhaveanideaofwhatI’mtalkingabout:

1.CommitmenttoGod2.Commitmenttopersonalandfamilygrowth3.Commonlysharedexperiences4.Confidenceinourselvesandothers5.Thedesiretomakeacontributioninlife

Thevaluesyouchoosewillundoubtedlybedifferentfromours,butyouneedtoidentifythem.Ifyou’veneverdoneitbefore,setasidesometimetotalkaboutyourvalueswithyourspouseandchildren.Ifyourkidsareolder,includethemintheprocessofidentifyingthevalues.Makeitadiscussiontime.Andneverbereluctanttotakeontheroleofmodelandteacherofyourfamily’svalues.Ifyoudon’tdoit,someoneelsewill.

BuildYourMarriageFinally, if you are married, the best thing you can do to strengthen your

familyistobuildyourmarriagerelationship.It’scertainlythebestthingyoucandoforyourspouse,butitalsohasanincrediblypositiveimpactonyourchildren.MyfriendJoshMcDowellwiselystated,“Thegreatestthingafathercandoforhischildrenistolovetheirmother.”Andthegreatestthingamothercandoforherchildrenistolovetheirfather.

A common missing ingredient in many marriages is dedication to makethings work.Marriagesmay start because of love, but they finish because ofcommitment.SexualityresearcherDr.AlfredKinsey,whostudiedsixthousandmarriagesandthreethousanddivorces,revealedthat“theremaybenothingmoreimportant in amarriage than a determination that it shall persist.With such adetermination, individuals force themselves to adjust and to accept situationswhich would seem sufficient grounds for a breakup, if continuation of themarriagewerenot theprimeobjective.” Ifyouwant tohelpyourspouse,yourchildren, and yourself, then become committed to building and sustaining astrongmarriage.

Ibelievethatfewpeoplehaveeverbeentrulysuccessfulwithoutapositive,supportive family.Nomatter howgreat people’s accomplishments are, I think

they’re still missing something when they’re working without the benefit ofthosecloserelationships.True,somepeoplearecalledtobesingle,buttheyarerare.Formostpeople,agoodfamilyhelpsyouknowyourpurposeanddevelopyourpotential,andithelpsyouenjoythejourneyalongthewaywithanintensitythat isn’t possible otherwise.Andwhen it comes to sowing seeds that benefitothers,whocouldpossiblyderivegreaterbenefitfromyouthanyourownfamilymembers?

Sometimes we need to be given a jolt to wake us up to the less-than-acceptablewaywe’vebeen interactingwith thepeople inour families. IknowthathappenedtoafriendofminewhomImetthroughmyinvolvementwiththeChristian men’s movement Promise Keepers. He said that one day when hisdaughterwasinfirstorsecondgrade,sheandherclassmateswereaskedtodrawa picture of their families. She loved to draw, so she willingly tackled theassignment.Thatevening,sheproudlybroughtherartworkhomeandshoweditto her parents.Whenmy friend looked at the picture, he said, “What’s this apictureof?”

“That’susandourhouse,” sheanswered.“The teacheraskedus todrawapictureofourfamily.”

Helookedat thepicturemorecarefullyandsawthateveryonewasthere—excepthim.“Sweetheart,”heasked,“isDaddyinthepicture?”

“No,”shesaid.“Whynot?”“Thisisapictureofusathome,andyou’reneverhere,”sheexplained.Itwasasifshehaddroppedapianoonhim.Shehadsaiditasasimplefact,

withoutmaliceoranydesiretoinflictguilt.Thatwasthedayhedecidedthathewasgoingtoturnthebusaroundandcomebackforhisfamily.

If you’ve been traveling down the road on the success journeybut you’veneglectedtobringyourfamilyalong,it’stimeforyoutomakeaU-turn.Gobackandpickup thepeoplewhomattermost inyour life.Andcommityourself tofollowing a road that includes them.What greater joy could there be than afamilytripofsuccess?

StepstoTakeAlongtheWay

IsItaFamilyTrip?

To start strengthening your family relationships and including your familymembersonthesuccessjourney,youneedtostartspendingtimewiththem.Onewaytodothatimmediatelyistoincludethemintheprocessofworkingthroughthefollowingexercises.Theymaybalkat first,especially ifyouhaven’tspentenoughtimewiththemlately.Butpersevere.Yourfamilyisworthit.

1.GettingtoKnowEachOtherBetter:Reviewtheinformationconcerningthefourpersonalitytypesandthesevenintelligences.(Ifyouwantmorein-depthinformation,getthetwobooks.)Thenspendtimewithfamilymembersdiscussingthecharacteristics,andasagroup,writeupaprofileoneachpersonusingthefollowingmodel:Name:DominantPersonalityType:SecondaryPersonalityType(optional):Intelligences(rateeachfrom1to10,with10beingthehighest):•LinguisticIntelligence(words):•Logical-MathematicalIntelligence(numbersandlogic):•SpatialIntelligence(picturesandimages):•MusicalIntelligence(rhythmsandmelodies):•Bodily-KinestheticIntelligence(physicalself):•InterpersonalIntelligence(otherpeople):•IntrapersonalIntelligence(innerself):

a)Askeveryonetodiscussanysurprisecharacteristicsthatmayhavebeendiscovered.

b)Forthenextweek,gooutofyourwaytocomplimenteachfamilymemberbasedonsomeinformationyoufoundoutfromtheprofilingprocess.

2.IdentifyingValues:Setasideaneveninginwhichyoucanidentifyanddiscussyourfamily’svalues.Startbylistingeverythingyoucanthinkofthat’simportanttoallofyou.Thenconsolidatethelistbycombiningsomeideasandeliminatingothers.Trytogetthelistdowntonomorethanseven.Andusethetimetodiscusschoicesandhowvaluesaffectthem.

3.SpendingTimewithYourSpouse:Ifyou’remarried,planadatenightatleastonceamonth(somecouplesdoitweekly).Taketurnsdoingtheplanning,andtrytoincludeactivitiesthatpromotecommunicationandinteraction.

4.ImprovingCommunication:Trythisexperimentasafamily.Agreetoeliminatealltelevisionforasetlengthoftime,suchasaweek,tendays,oramonth.Thenusemostoftheextratimetodothingstogetherthatallowcommunication.Playgames,goforwalks,helpthechildrenwithhomework,readtogether,and/ortellstories.

5.AdjustingYourCalendar:Sitdownandscheduleatleastonehourperweekwitheachfamilymemberforthenextmonth.Trytoselectactivitiesthatbothyouandthefamilymemberenjoy.Markitonyourcalendarasyouwouldanybusinessappointment.Thenkeeptheappointment.

W

9

WhoElseShouldITakewithMe?

henourdaughter,Elizabeth,wasinhersenioryearofhighschool,MargaretandIdecidedtotakeher(andtherestofthefamily)onatriptoHawaiiasa

graduation present. We told her about our plan several months in advancebecauseElizabethisn’tcrazyaboutsurprises.Shelikestohavetimetoprocessdecisions and prepare herself mentally for change. We also told her that shecouldinviteoneofhergirlfriendstogoalongwithheronthetrip.

For threemonthsElizabethagonizedoverwhosheshould takewithher.Acoupleof timesMargaretandIgot impatientandwanted tomake thedecisionforher.That just reflectsourpersonalities.Butweresisted the temptation.Weunderstood that no one can pick someone else’s traveling companion. AndElizabeth finallymadeher choice,picking thegirl she thoughtwouldbemostcompatiblewithher.Theresult:bothhadawonderfultime.

Maybe you haven’t thought about it, but you’re going to have to makesimilardecisionsasyoutakethesuccessjourney.Oneofthequestionsyouwillneedtoaskyourselfis,WhoshouldItakealongwithme?Certainlyifyouhaveafamily,youwilltakethemwithyou.Butwhoelseshouldgoalong?Youmightbesayingtoyourself,“WhywouldIwanttotakeanybodyelse?IfIcanmakethejourneymyselfandeventakemyfamilywithme,Idon’tneedanyoneelse,doI?”Althoughyoumaybeable to take the journeywithoutothers, Ican tellyouthatyouwillneverbeabletoreachyourmaximumpotentialandgotothehighestlevelifyoutakethejourneyalone.

LivingattheHighestLevel

Over time I’ve learned this meaningful lesson: The people closest to medeterminemy level of success or failure. The better they are, the better I am.AndifIwanttogotothehighestlevel,Icandoitonlywiththehelpofotherpeople.Wehavetotakeeachotherhigher.

I discovered this truth as I approachedmy fortiethbirthday.At that time Ialready felt very successful. I was the leader of the largest church in mydenomination. Ihadpublishedfivebooks. Iwasrecognizedasanauthorityonleadership,andIwasteachingthesubjectinconferencesandviaaudiolessonseverymonth.IwasfulfillingthepurposeforwhichIwascreated,dailygrowingtomypotential, and sowing seeds that benefitedothers.Butmydesirewas tomakeanevengreaterimpactonothers.Iwantedtogotoawholenewlevel.

MyproblemwasthatIhadhitawall.Iwasrunningalargeorganizationthatrequired much of my time. I had a family. I was writing books, leadershiplessons, and sermons continually.And on top of that,my travel schedulewaspacked.Icouldn’tsqueezeanotherthingintomyschedulewithashoehornandabucket of axle grease. That’s when I made the amazing discovery. The onlyplaces where my influence and productivity were growing were where I hadidentifiedpotentialleadersanddevelopedthem.

My intention in developing leaders had been to help them improvethemselves,butIfoundIwasbenefitingtoo.Spendingtimewiththemhadbeenlike investing money. They had grown, and at the same time I had reapedincredibledividends.That’swhenIrealizedthatifIwastomakeittothenextlevel,Iwasgoingtohavetoextendmyselfthroughothers.Iwouldfindleadersandpourmylifeintothem,doingmybesttobringthemuptoanewlevel.Andastheyimproved,sowouldI.

ThePeopleAroundYouDetermineYourSuccess

Thatprocesshaschangedmylife.I’vegonefartheronthesuccessjourneyandtoahigherlevelthanIeverdreamedabout.Andthepeoplearoundmedeserveahugeamountofthecreditformysuccess:

•MargaretMaxwell:Itallbeginswithher.MarryingMargaretisthesmartestthingIeverdid.WhateversuccessI’veachieved,personallyand

professionally,Iowetoher.•DanReiland:Hehasbeenwithmeformorethanthirtyyears.Danhascarriedatremendousloadforme.AndheisoneofthebestdevelopersofpeoplethatI’veevermet.

•StanToler:I’veknownhimformorethanfortyyears.HeisoneofthegreatestpeoplepersonsI’veeverknown.

•LindaEggers:Myincrediblepersonalassistant,shehasworkedformefortwenty-fiveyears.NoonedoesmoreformethanLinda.Shekeepsstraightalifethatbyallrightsshouldbetotalchaos.

There are anumberof energeticpeoplewhohelpme inmyorganizations,andbecauseof them I amable to domore things, teachmore seminars,writemorebooks,andtouchmanymorelives.ThereisalmostnolimittowhatIcanaccomplishbecauseofthewonderfulpeopleIhavearoundme.

FindingtheRightPeoplefortheJourney

Havingexceptionalpeopleonthejourneywithyoudoesn’thappenbyaccident.It’struethatthegreateryourdream,thegreaterthepeoplewhowillbeattractedtoyou.Butthataloneisn’tenough.Youneedtoknowwhattolookforinorderto find thebestpossiblepeople.Andyouneed tostartbymakingsure they’recompatible with you, just as Elizabeth did with her friend before going toHawaii.

Evenbeforeyoubeginlookingat thequalities thatmakeapersonrightforgoingonthejourneywithyou,youneedtoaskyourselfafewquestionsabouthim.Thefirstoneis,“Doesthispersonwanttogo?”Thatwasahardlessonformeto learnbecause,earlyon,Iwantedto takeeverybodywithme.I’mafun-loving, sanguine kindof guy, and Iwant to be successful. I just assumed thateveryonewantedwhatIdid—tobesuccessfulandtostrivetoreachhispotential.Butthat’snottrue.Manypeoplehavenodesiretogrowwhatsoever.Theirgoalistofindacomfortableplacesothattheycangooncruisecontrolfortherestoftheirlives.

Andapersonmaynotwanttogoonthejourneywithyouforotherreasons.Forexample,hemaywanttogrowjustasmuchasyoudo,buthisinterestsdon’tcoincidewithyours.Asaresult,thereisnocompatibility.Margaretreallyhelped

melearnthislesson,andnowItrytorecruitonlythepeoplewhoareinterestedingoingwithme.

Thesecondquestionyouneedtoask is,“Is thispersonable togo?”Therehas tobeamatchbetween the journeyyouwant to takeand theperson’sgiftsand talents. For example, let’s say your dream is to be a professional countrysinger.Andyouwanttomakeagoodlivingsothatyoucanhelpinner-citykids.Thepeopleyou’llwant to joinyouon the journeywillprobablyhavemusicaltalent, business skills, or experience ministering to inner-city kids. Anyonehavingno talents in these areas ismuch less likely tobe compatiblewithyouandyourdream.

Thethirdquestionyoushouldaskis,“Canthispersonmakethetripwithoutme?”Youcan lookat somepeople andknow theyhaveeverything it takes tomakethesuccessjourneyontheirown.Theyhavetheirownroadmapsandarenotgoing toneedyourhelp. In fact, theyare likely tobe inaposition to takeothersonthejourneywiththem,justasyouaregoingtodo.Inthatcase,makefriendswiththemandtrytokeepintouch.Thoughyoumaynottakethejourneytogether,youmaybeabletohelponeanotherdowntheroadascolleagues.

Onceyou’vesettledtheseissues,you’rereadytolookforpeoplewhomyouwillbeabletohelpreachtheirpotentialandwhowillalsohelpyoureachyours.And that means finding potential leaders. Everything rises and falls onleadership.

Overtheyears,I’venarroweddownwhatIlookforinapotentialleadertoonly ten things, and Iwant to share themwith you.Here they are in order ofimportance.ThepeopleIwanttotakewithmeonmysuccessjourney...

1.MakeThingsHappenMillionairephilanthropistAndrewCarnegiesaid,“AsIgrowolder,Ipayless

attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.” I’ve found that to besoundadvice.AndasI’vewatchedwhatpeopledo,I’vediscoveredthattheonesI want with me are people who make things happen. These people discoverresources in places you thought were barren. They find prospects where youbelieved thereweren’t any.They create opportunitieswhereyou thought noneexisted.Theytakesomethingaverageandmakeitexceptional.Theynevermakeexcuses—theyalwaysfindawaytomakethingshappen.

Evenunder theworstofcircumstances—orwithmajordisabilities—peoplewithpotentialmakethingshappen.Dr.GeorgeW.Craneobserved,“Thereisno

futureinanyjob.Thefutureliesinthepersonwhoholdsthejob.”Ifyouwanttogofaronthesuccessjourney,partnerwithotherswhoknowhowtomakethingshappen.

2.SeeandSeizeOpportunitiesManypeopleareabletorecognizeanopportunityafterithasalreadypassed

themby.Butseeingopportunitiescoming,that’sadifferentmatter.Opportunitiesareseldomlabeled.That’swhyyouhavetolearnwhattheylooklikeandhowtoseizethem.

Thebestpeopletotakewithyouonthejourneydon’tsitbackandwaitforopportunities tocome to them.Theymake it their responsibility togooutandfindthem.It’ssimilartothetwowaysyoucangoaboutpickingupsomeoneyoudon’tknowfrom theairport.Oneway is tomakea signwith thenameof theperson you’re expecting, stand near the baggage claim area, hold up the sign,andwaitforthepersontofindyou.Ifheseesyou,great.Ifhedoesn’t,youkeepwaiting. The other way is to find out what the person looks like, positionyourselfstrategicallyneartherightgate,andsearchforhimuntilyoufindhim.Thereisaworldofdifferencebetweenthetwoapproaches.

Askyourself:Ofthepeoplearoundyou,whoalwaysseemsabletorecognizeopportunities and grab hold of them? The people with these qualities are theonesyou’reprobablygoingtowanttotakewithyouonthesuccessjourney.

3.InfluenceOthersImentionedbeforethateverythingrisesandfallsonleadership.That’strue

becauseaperson’sabilitytomakethingshappeninandthroughothersdependsentirelyonher ability to lead them.Without leadership, there isno teamwork,andpeoplegotheirownway.

Ifyourdreamisbigandwillrequiretheteamworkofagroupofpeople,thenanypotential leadersyou select togowithyouon the journeywillneed tobepeople of influence.After all, that’swhat leadership is—influence.Andwhenyou think about it, all leaders have two things in common: they’re goingsomewhere,andthey’reabletopersuadeotherstogowiththem.

Asyoulookatthepeoplearoundyou,considerthefollowing:

•Whoinfluencesthem?Youcantellalotaboutwhotheywillinfluenceandhowtheywillgoaboutdoingitbyknowingwhotheirheroesandmentors

are.•Whodotheyinfluence?You’llbeabletojudgetheircurrentlevelofleadershipeffectivenessbywhotheyinfluence.

•Istheirinfluenceincreasingordecreasing?Youcantellwhetherapersonisapastleaderorapotentialleaderbyexaminingwhichdirectionthelevelofinfluenceisgoing.

Tobeagoodjudgeofpotentialleaders,don’tjustseetheperson—seeallthepeople that person influences. The greater the influence, the greater theleadershippotentialandtheabilitytogetotherstoworkwithyoutoaccomplishyourdream.

4.AddValueEverypersonaroundyouhasaneffectonyouandyourabilitytofulfillyour

vision.You’veprobablynoticed thisbefore.Somepeople seem tohinderyou,alwaystakingmorefromyouthantheygiveinreturn.Othersaddvaluetoyou,improvingeverythingyoudo.Whentheycomealongsideyou,synergydevelopsthattakesbothofyoutoanewlevel.

Lotsofwonderfulpeoplehaveaddedvaluetomethroughtheyears,startingwiththepeopleIlistedatthebeginningofthischapter.Manyofthemhavemadeit their main goal in life to help me. They complement my weaknesses andencouragemystrengths.Theirpresencewithmeonthejourneyactuallyexpandsmy vision.Alone,maybe I could have achieved some success. But they havetruly made me much better than I could have been without them. And inresponse,Ihavealwaysgiventhemmybest,trustedthemimplicitly,giventhemopportunitiestomakeadifference,andaddedvaluetotheirlives.

Thereareprobablypeople inyour lifewithwhomyouexperiencesynergy.Youinspireandtakeeachothertohigherlevels.Canyouthinkofanybodybetterto takeon thesuccess journey?Notonlywould theyhelpyougofar,but theywouldmakethejourneymorefun.

5.AttractOtherLeadersAsyou look for potential leaders to takewith youon the success journey,

youneedtorealizethat therearereallytwokindsofleaders:thosewhoattractfollowers and thosewhoattract other leaders.Peoplewhoattract and teamuponly with followers will never be able to do anything beyond what they can

personally touch or supervise. For each person they interact with, they’reinfluencing only one person—a follower. But people who attract leadersinfluence many other people through their interaction. Their team can beincredible,especiallyiftheleaderstheyrecruitalsoattractotherleaders.

Besides the obvious factor of influence, there are other significantdifferencesbetweenpeoplewhoattractfollowersandpeoplewhoattractleaders.Hereareafew:

LeadersWhoAttractFollowers...

LeadersWhoAttractLeaders...

Needtobeneeded.Wantrecognition.

Focusonothers’weaknesses.Wanttoholdontopower.

Spendtheirtimewithothers.Aregoodleaders.

Experiencesomesuccess.

Wanttobesucceeded.Wanttoreproducethemselves.Focusonothers’strengths.

Wanttosharepower.Investtheirtimeinothers.

Aregreatleaders.Experienceincrediblesuccess.

As you look for people to join you on the journey, look for leaders whoattractotherleaders.Theywillbeabletomultiplyyoursuccess.Butalsoknowthis—inthelongrun,youcanonlyleadpeoplewhoseleadershipabilityislessthanorequaltoyourown.Tokeepattractingbetterandbetterleaders,youwillhavetokeepdevelopingyourleadershipability.Inthatway,youandyourteamwillcontinuegrowingnotonlyinpotentialbutalsoineffectiveness.

6.EquipOthersIt’sone thing toattractotherpeople toyouandhave them joinyouon the

successjourney.It’sanothertoequipthemwitharoadmapforthetrip.Thebestpeoplealwaysgiveothersmore thanan invitation—theyprovide themeans togetthemthere.(I’llcoverthissubjectinmoredepthinthenextchapter.)

Thinkaboutthisasyousearchforpotentialleaders:Apersonwithcharismaalonecandrawotherstoher,yetshemaynotbeabletogetthemtogoonthesuccessjourney.However,aleaderwhoisanequippercanempoweranarmyofsuccessful people capable of going anywhere and accomplishing almostanything. As Harvey Firestone said, “It is only as we develop others that wepermanentlysucceed.”

7.ProvideInspiringIdeasNineteenth-century author-playwright Victor Hugo observed, “There’s

nothingmorepowerfulthananideawhosetimehascome.”Ideasarethegreatestresourceasuccessfulpersoncouldeverhave.Andwhenyousurroundyourselfwithcreativepeople,you’reneveratalossforinspiringideas.

Ifyouandthepeoplearoundyoucontinuallygenerategoodideas,allofyouhave a better opportunity to reach your potential. According toArt Cornwell,author ofFreeing the Corporate Mind: How to Spur Innovation in Business,creativethinkingiswhatgeneratesideas.Andthebetteryouunderstandhowtogenerateideas,thebetteroffyou’llbe.Hesuggests,

•Theonlytrulybadideasarethosethatdiewithoutgivingrisetootherideas.

•Ifyouwantgoodideas,youneedalotofideas.•Itdoesn’tmatterif“itain’tbroke.”Itprobablystillcanusefixing.•Greatideasarenothingmorethantherestructuringofwhatyoualreadyknow.

•Whenallyourideasareaddedtogether,thesumshouldrepresentyourbreakthrough.1

You are capable of generating good ideas—probably better able than youthink.Butyoucanneverhave toomany ideas.Thatwouldbe like sayingyouhavetoobigabudgetortoomanyresourceswhenyou’reworkingonaproject.That’swhyyouwoulddowell togetpeoplearoundyouwhowill continue toinspireyouwiththeirideas.Andwhenyoufindsomeonewithwhomyouhavenaturalchemistry,thekindthatinspireseachofyoutogreatness,you’llfindthatyoualwayshavemoreideasthantimetocarrythemout.

8.PossessUncommonlyPositiveAttitudesYou already know how important a good attitude is to your success. It

determines how far you will be able to go on the success journey. But don’tunderestimate the importance of a positive attitude in the people around youeither. When you travel with others, you can go only as fast as the slowestpersonandasfarastheweakestonecantravel.Havingpeoplearoundyouwithnegativeattitudesislikerunningaracewithaballandchainonyourankle.You

may be able to run for a while, but you’re going to get tired fast, and youcertainlywon’tbeabletorunasfarasyou’dlike.

9.LiveUptoTheirCommitmentsIt’sbeensaidthatcommitmentisanothernameforsuccess.Andthat’sreally

true.Commitmenttakesapersontoawholenewlevelwhenitcomestosuccess.LookattheadvantagesofcommitmentasdescribedbymotivationalspeakerJoeGriffith:

You cannot keep a committed person from success. Place stumblingblocksinhisway,andhetakesthemforstepping-stones,andonthemhewillclimbtogreatness.Takeawayhismoney,andhemakesspursofhispovertytourgehimon.Thepersonwhosucceedshasaprogram;hefixeshiscourseandadherestoit;helayshisplansandexecutesthem;hegoesstraight to his goal. He is not pushed this side and that every time adifficultyisthrustinhisway.Ifhecan’tgooverit,hegoesthroughit.2

When thepeopleonyour teamshareyour levelofcommitment, success isinevitable. Commitment helps you overcome obstacles and continue movingforwardonthesuccessjourneynomatterhowtoughthegoinggets.Itisthekeyto success in every aspect of life: marriage, business, personal development,hobbies,sports—younameit.Commitmentcancarryyouaverylongway.

10.HaveLoyaltyThelastqualityyoushouldlookforinpeopletojoinyouonyourjourneyis

loyalty.Althoughthisalonedoesnotensuresuccessinanotherperson,alackofloyalty is sure to ruin your relationshipwith himor her.Thinkof it thisway:Whenyou’relookingforpotentialleaders,ifsomeoneyou’reconsideringlacksloyalty,he isdisqualified.Don’tevenconsider takinghimon the journeywithyoubecauseintheend,he’llhurtyoumorethanhelpyou.

Sowhatdoesitmeanforotherstobeloyaltoyou?

•Theyloveyouunconditionally.Theyacceptyouwithyourstrengthsandweaknessesintact.Theygenuinelycareforyou,notjustforwhatyoucandoforthem.Andtheyareneithertryingtomakeyouintosomeoneyou’renotnorputtingyouonapedestal.

•Theyrepresentyouwelltoothers.Loyalpeoplealwayspaintapositivepictureofyouwithothers.Theymaytakeyoutotaskprivatelyorholdyouaccountable,buttheynevercriticizeyoutoothers.

•Theyareabletolaughandcrywithyouasyoutraveltogether.Loyalpeoplearewillingandabletoshareyourjoysandsorrows.Theymakethetriplesslonely.

•Theymakeyourdreamtheirdream.Somepeoplewillundoubtedlysharethejourneywithyouonlybriefly.Youhelponeanotherforawhileandthengoyourseparateways.Butafew—aspecialfew—willwanttocomealongsideyouandhelpyoufortherestofthejourney.Thesepeoplemakeyourdreamtheirdream.Theywillbeloyaluntodeath,andwhentheycombinethatloyaltywithothertalentsandabilities,theycanbesomeofyourmostvaluableassets.Ifyoufindpeoplelikethat,takegoodcareofthem.

StepstoTakeAlongtheWay

WhoElseShouldITakewithMe?

1.Usethefollowinglistofqualitiestoidentifythepeopleyouwanttorecruittotakethesuccessjourneywithyou.Writethenamesofseveralpeopleyouknowwhoexemplifyeachcharacteristic:a.Makethingshappen:b.Seeandseizeopportunities:c.Influenceothers:d.Addvalue:e.Attractotherleaders:f.Equipothers:g.Provideinspiringideas:h.Possessuncommonlypositiveattitudes:i.Liveuptotheircommitments:j.Haveloyalty:

[YourResponse]

2.Nowlookatyouranswersandseewhichnameshavebeenrepeatedmostoften.Pickthetoponetothreepeople.Thesearethebestcandidatestotakethesuccessjourneywithyou.Writetheirnamesbelow,alongwiththenamesofthemembersofyourimmediatefamily.

[YourResponse]

ThePeopleI’llTakeonMySuccessJourney

H

10

WhatShouldWeDoAlongtheWay?

aveyoueverreadabookthatchangedyourlife,onethatrevolutionizedyourthinkingandalteredhowyouliveinasignificantway?Ihave.Infact,there

havebeenseveral.ButtheonethatstandsoutmostinmymindisabookIreadin1970byDr.ElmerTownscalledTheTenFastest-GrowingSundaySchoolsinAmerica. It was written for people in my then-profession, and it fueled mydreamsandinspiredmetodedicatemyselftobecomingbetterthanIwas.Anditreallypropelledmeinthedirectionmylifewastotake.LittledidIknowthenthatmy journey and destinywould be linkedwith those of the book’s author,ElmerTowns.

In 1975, I heard about a conference inWaterloo, Iowa, where Elmer wasgoingtobeaspeaker,andIjumpedatthechancetogo.Itriedtotalkwithhimseveral times during the breaks so that I could tell him about the incredibleinfluence he had onmy life, but each time I tried therewas amob of peoplearoundhim,andIjustcouldn’tgetclosetohim.

After theconferencewasover, Iwent toaHoward Johnson’s restaurant toeatlunch,andIhadjustsatdownwhenwhoshouldwalkinbutElmerTowns.Iintroducedmyselftohimashecameby,andhesaid,“Comesitwithussothatwecangettoknoweachotheralittlebit.”

SothereIwas,sittingatthetablewithoneofmyheroes.Icouldn’teatabiteofmy lunch; Iwas so excited I couldn’t seem to swallow.And Iwas thrilledwhenhesuggestedthatIchangemytravel timesso thatIcould takethesameflightwithhimtoChicagoandsitwithhimandtalk.Wegottoknoweachotheralittlethatday,anditwasawonderfulexperience.

AyearlaterasIpreparedtohostmyfirstconference,IdecidedthatIhadto

haveElmerasoneofthespeakers.SoIcalledhimupandinvitedhimand,tomydelight,hesaidyes.Notonlydidhecomeandspeakat theconference,buthespent time with me, casting vision for my life, challenging me to grow, andsharinghisinsightandwisdom.

Overtheyears,Elmerhasbeenanincredibleinfluenceonme.Hehasbeenamentorandfriend,andhehasinspiredmetobeagoodleader.Manyyearsago,Ihadachancetohonorhimpubliclybysharingwhathehasmeanttomewithonethousand people at a banquet following one of my conferences. And for theoccasion,Igavehimagift.

Elmer and I both collect signatures of great leaders. I have signed lettersfrom about a dozen presidents and several clergymen, such as my hero JohnWesley.Mywife,Margaret, gets them beautifully framed for me, and I keepthemondisplay.Notlongbeforetheevent,Ifoundandpurchasedanoutlineofasermon written by nineteenth-century preacher C. H. Spurgeon. It was aremarkable find. The sermon used as its text the passage from the Bible thatsays,“Stirup thegiftofGod,which is in thee.”1It’sapassagewrittenby theapostlePaultohisprotégé,Timothy,encouraginghimtousehisgiftsandpursuehisdestiny.

IhadtheSpurgeonsermononlyafewmonthswhenIrealizedthatIwantedtogiveittoElmeratthebanquet.Margaretaskedmemorethanonce,“Areyousure,John?YoumayneverfindanotherSpurgeon.”ButIknewitwastherightthingtodo.IwantedtohonorElmerandgivehimagiftofappreciationforallhe had done, and I couldn’t think of a better thing to give him. Elmer lovesSpurgeon,andthetextbyPaul toTimothyperfectlydescribedwhatElmerhaddoneforme.HehadencouragedmetostirupthegiftGodhadgivenme.Soatthebanquet,itwasarealthrilltotellallthosepeopleaboutthewonderfulthingsElmerhaddonetomentormeovertheyearsandtothankhimwiththatgift.

WhatElmerdidwithme,Ihavetriedtopassontoothers.I’vealreadyspentagoodpartofmylifeteachingandmentoringothersintheareasofleadership,personalgrowth, spiritualdevelopment, and success.And Ihavededicated therestofmytimeonearthtocontinuingtodothat.Sotheanswertothequestionthat is thetitleof thischapter,“WhatshouldIdoalongtheway?”is this: takesomebodywith you. It’s not enough for you to finish the race. To really besuccessful, you need to take somebodywith you across the finish line.HenryFord maintained that “most people think of it [success] in terms of getting.Success,however,beginsintermsofgiving.”2

WhyManyDon’tTakeAnyoneAlong

Mostpeoplewhodesiresuccessfocusalmostentirelyonthemselves,notothers,when theystart tomake the journey.Theyusually think in termsofwhat theycanget—inposition,power,prestige,money, and similarperks.But that’snotthewaytobecometrulysuccessful.Todo that,youhave togive toothers.AsDouglasM.Lawsonsaid,“Weexist temporarily throughwhatwetake,butweliveforeverthroughwhatwegive.”

That’swhyit’ssoessentialtofocusonraisingotherstoahigherlevel.Andwecandothatwithpeoplefromeveryareaofourlives—atworkandhome,inchurch and the clubhouse. That’s evidentlywhat TexasRepresentativeWrightPatman did, according to a story told by Senator Paul Simon. He said thatPatman died at age eighty-two while serving in the U.S. House ofRepresentatives.At his funeral, an olderwomanwho lived in his districtwasheardtohavesaid,“Heroseupmightyhigh,buthebrungusallupwithhim.”

Ifmentoringothersissucharewardingcalling,whydoesn’teveryonedoit?Onereasonisthatittakeswork.Buttherearealsomanyothers.Hereareafewofthemostcommonones:

InsecurityVirginia Arcastle commented, “When people are made to feel secure and

important and appreciated, it will no longer be necessary for them to whittledown others in order to seem bigger in comparison.” That’s what insecurepeopletendtodo—makethemselveslookbetteratothers’expense.

Trulysuccessfulpeople,on theotherhand, raiseothersup.And theydon’tfeel threatened by the thought of having others become more successful andmove toahigher level.Theyaregrowingandstriving for theirpotential; theyaren’t worried about having someone replace them. Raising up others is asuccessfulperson’sjoy.

EgoSomepeople’segosaresohugethat theyhavetobeeither thebrideat the

weddingorthecorpseatthefuneral.Theythinkotherpeopleexistonlytoservethem in somewayoranother.AdolfHitlerwas like that.According toRobertWaite, when Hitler was searching for a chauffeur, he interviewed thirtycandidatesforthejob.Heselectedtheshortestmaninthegroupandkepthimas

hispersonaldriverfortherestofhislife—eventhoughthemanrequiredspecialblocks under the driver’s seat so that he could see over the steering wheel.3Hitlerusedotherstomakehimselfappearbiggerandbetterthanhereallywas.Apersonconsumedwithhimselfneverconsidersspendingtimeraisingothersup.

InabilitytoDiscernPeople’s“SuccessSeeds”Ibelieveeverypersonhastheseedofsuccessinside.Toomanypeoplecan’t

findit in themselves, letaloneinothers,andasa result, theydon’t reach theirpotential. Butmany do find that seed, and chances are, you are one of thosepeople.Thegoodnews is that onceyou are able to find it in yourself, you’rebetter able to do the samewith others.When you do, it benefits both of youbecause you and the person you help will be able to fulfill the purposes forwhicheachwasborn.

The ability to find another’s seed of success takes commitment, diligence,andagenuinedesiretofocusonothers.Youhavetolookat theperson’sgifts,temperament, passions, successes, joys, and opportunities. And once you findthat seed, you need to fertilize it with encouragement and water it withopportunity.Ifyoudo,thepersonwillblossombeforeyoureyes.

WrongConceptofSuccessTheaveragepersondoesn’tknowwhatyouknowaboutsuccess—that it is

knowingyourpurpose,growing to reachyourmaximumpotential,andsowingseeds to benefit others. He or she is scrambling to arrive at a destination oracquire more possessions than the next-door neighbors. But you know thatsuccessisajourney,andthemostyoucanhopeforistodoyourbestwithwhatyou’vegot.

FredSmithsaid:“Someofustendtothink,Icouldhavebeenasuccess,butIneverhadtheopportunity.Iwasn’tbornintotherightfamily,orIdidn’thavethemoneytogotothebestschool.Butwhenwemeasuresuccessbytheextentwe’reusingwhatwe’vereceived,iteliminatesthatfrustration.”Andoneofthemost vital aspects of howwe’re usingwhatwe received comes in the area ofhelpingothers.AsCullenHightowerremarked,“Atruemeasureofyourworthincludesallthebenefitsothershavegainedfromyoursuccess.”

LackofTrainingThefinalreasonmanypeopledon’traiseupthepeoplearoundthemisthat

they don’t know how to do it. Equipping others isn’t somethingmost peoplelearn in school. Even if you went to college to become a teacher, you wereprobablytrainedtodisseminateinformationtoagroup,nottocomealongsideasingleperson,pourintoherlife,andraisehertoahigherlevel.

WhatYouNeedtoKnowasYouStart

Raisingpeople toahigher levelandhelpingthembesuccessful involvesmorethan giving them information or skills. If that were not the case, every newemployeewouldgofromtraineetosuccessassoonasheunderstoodhowtodohisjob;everychildwouldbesuccessfulwhenevershelearnedsomethingnewatschool. But success doesn’t automatically follow knowledge. The process iscomplicatedbecauseyou’reworkingwithpeople.However,understandingsomebasicconceptsaboutpeopleopensthedoortoyourabilitytodevelopothers.Forexample,remindyourselfthat

Everyonewantstofeelworthwhile.Donald Laird said, “Always help people increase their own self-esteem.

Develop your skill in making other people feel important. There is hardly ahighercomplimentyoucanpayanindividualthanhelpinghimbeusefulandtofind satisfaction fromhis usefulness.”When a person doesn’t feel good abouthimself,hewillneverbelieveheissuccessful,nomatterwhatheaccomplishes.Butapersonwhofeelsworthwhileisripeforsuccess.

Everyoneneedsandrespondstoencouragement.One ofmy favorite quotes comes from industrialist Charles Schwab, who

said, “Ihaveyet to find theman,howeverexaltedhis station,whodidnotdobetterworkandput forthgreatereffortunderaspiritofapproval thanunderaspirit of criticism.” If you desire to raise another person up, then you need tobecomeoneofherstaunchestsupporters.Peoplecantellwhenyoudon’tbelieveinthem.

Peoplebuyintothepersonbeforebuyingintotheirleadership.Manyunsuccessful peoplewho try to leadothers have themistakenbelief

thatpeoplewillfollowthembecausetheircauseisgood.Butthat’snotthewayleadershipworks.Peoplewill followyouonlywhen theybelieve inyou.That

principle applies evenwhen you’re offering to develop other people and raisethemtoahigherlevel.

The more you understand people, the greater your chance of success inmentoring.And ifyouhavehighlydevelopedpeopleskillsandgenuinelycareaboutothers,theprocesswillprobablycometoyounaturally.

HowtoTakeOthersfora(Life-Changing)Ride

Whether you have a gift for interacting positivelywith people or you have toreallyworkatit,youarecapableofmentoringothersandliftingthemtoahigherlevel.Youcanhelpthemdeveloparoadmapforsuccessandgoonthesuccessjourneywithyouaslongasyoukeepgrowingasapersonandaleader.

Herearethestepsyouwillneedtotakeinordertotakepeopleforaride—onethatwillchangetheirlivesforever:

1.MakePeopleDevelopmentYourTopPriorityIf you want to succeed in developing people, you have to make it a top

priority.It’salwayseasiertodismisspeoplethantodevelopthem.Ifyoudon’tbelieve it, just ask any employer or divorce attorney. But many people don’trealizethatwhiledismissingothersiseasy,italsohasahighprice.Inbusiness,thecostscomefromlostproductivity,administrativecostsoffiringandhiring,andlowmorale.Inmarriage,thecostisoftenbrokenlives.

Ifyouwant tomakeadifference in the livesofothers,commityourself todevelopingpeopleandtakingthemonthetripwithyou.

2.LimitWhoYouTakeAlongLike it or not, you can’t take everyone along with you on the success

journey.Asyoubegintodeveloppeople,thinkofthejourneyasbeingsimilartoatripinasmallprivateplane.Ifyoutrytotaketoomanypeoplealong,you’llnevergetofftheground.Besides,yourtimeislimited,anditmakesmoresensetohelpa fewlearnhowtoflyandreach theirpotential rather thanshowabiggrouponlyenoughtowhettheirappetites.

WhenIteachleadershipseminars,Ialwaysteachwhat’sknownasthePareto(80/20)Principle:Inanutshell,itsaysthatifyoufocusyourattentiononthetop20percentinanythingyoudo,youwillgetan80percentreturn.Inthecaseofdevelopingpeople,you should spend80percentofyour timedevelopingonlythe top 20 percent of the people around you. That would include the mostimportantpeopleinyourlife,suchasyourfamily,andthepeoplewhohavethemostpotential. Ifyou try tomentoranddevelopmorepeople than that,you’regoingtobespreadingyourselftoothin.

3.DevelopRelationshipsBeforeStartingOutMentors make the common mistake of trying to lead others before

developing relationships with them. Look around you, and you can see ithappeningall the time.Anewmanagerstartswithacompanyandexpects thepeopleworkingtheretorespondtoherauthoritywithoutquestion.Acoachaskshisplayers to trusthimandgo to thematforhimwhentheydon’tevenknowone another. A divorced father who hasn’t seen his children in several yearsreinitiatescontactwiththemandexpectsthemtorespondtohimautomatically,even though they haven’t had time to rebuild the relationship yet. In each oftheseinstances,theleaderisexpectingtomakeanimpactonthepeoplebeforebuilding the relationship. The followers may comply with what the leader’spositionrequires,butthey’llnevergobeyondthat.

Asyoupreparetodevelopotherpeople,taketimetogettoknoweachother.Ask them to share their storieswithyou—their journeys so far.Findoutwhatmakesthemtick,theirstrengthsandweaknesses,theirtemperaments.Andspendsometimewiththemoutsidetheenvironmentwhereyoutypicallyseethem.Ifyou work together, then play sports together. If you know each other fromchurch,meetwiththemattheirworkplace.

Another advantage to building relationshipswith people before starting onthe journey together is that you find outwhat kind of “traveling companions”you’regoingtohave.Ifyou’veevergoneonatripwithsomeoneyouendedupdisliking,thenyouknowwhatadifficultsituationthatcanbe.

Asyoubringothersalongsideyouforthesuccessjourney,pickpeopleyouexpecttolike.Thengettoknowthemtoverifyyourchoice.It’sthebestwaytobeeffective—andenjoythetrip.

4.GiveHelpUnconditionally

Whenyoustartdevelopingpeople,youshouldnevergointoitwiththeideaof getting something out of it. That attitude will almost certainly backfire onyou. If you expect toget something in return andyoudon’t, youwill becomebitter.Andifyougetbacklessthanyouexpect,you’llresentthetimeyouspent.No, you have to go into the process expecting nothing. Give for the sake ofgiving—just for the joy of seeing another person learn to fly. When youapproach it thatway,your attitudewill always remainpositive.And the timesyoudogetsomethinginreturn,it’sawonderfulwin-winsituation.

5.LetThemFlywithYouforaWhileIwanttoshareasecretwithyou.Itguaranteessuccessinmentoring.Areyou

ready?Hereitis:neverworkalone.Iknowthatsoundstoosimple,butitistrulythesecrettodevelopingothers.Wheneveryoudoanythingthatyouwanttopassalongtoothers,takesomeonewithyou.

Thisisn’tnecessarilyanaturalpracticeformanyofus.Thelearningmodelthat’susedinAmericabymostpeopleforteachingotherswaspasseddowntousfrom the Greeks. It’s a cognitive “classroom” approach, like the one used bySocrates to teach Plato, and Plato to teach Aristotle. The leader stands andspeaks,askingquestionsorlecturing.Thefollowersitsathisfeet,listening.Hisgoalistocomprehendtheinstructor’sideas.

Butthat’snottheonlymodelavailablefordevelopingothers.Wealsohaveoneusedbyanotherancientculture:theHebrews.Theirmethodwasmorelikeon-the-job training. It was built on relationships and common experience. It’swhat craftspeople have done for centuries. They take apprentices who workalongside them until they master their craft and are able to pass it along toothers.Theirmodellookssomethinglikethis:

•Idoit.FirstIlearntodothejob.Ihavetounderstandthewhyaswellasthehow,andItrytoperfectmycraft.

•Idoit—andyouwatch.Idemonstrateitwhileyouobserve,andduringtheprocess,IexplainwhatI’mdoingandwhy.

•Youdoit—andIwatch.Assoonaspossible,weexchangeroles.Igiveyoupermissionandauthoritytotakeoverthejob,butIstaywithyoutoofferadvice,correction,andencouragement.

•Youdoit.Onceyou’reproficient,Istepbackandletyouworkalone.Thelearnerisdrawnuptoahigherlevel.Andassoonasheisonthathigher

level,theteacherisfreetomoveontohigherthings.

InalltheyearsI’vebeenequippinganddevelopingothers,I’veneverfounda betterway to do it than this.And for a long time,whenever I got ready toperformoneofmyduties,ImadeitapracticetotakealongthepersonIwantedto equip for the task. Before we did it, we talked about what was going tohappen.Andafterward,we’ddiscusswhatwedid.

Maybeyou’vealreadydonethiswithpeople.Ifyouhaven’t,tryitbecauseitreallyworks.

6.PutFuelinTheirTankPeople won’t get far without fuel—and that means resources for their

continuingpersonalgrowth.Anymentorcangivethatvaluablegifttosomeoneheisdeveloping.Manypeopledon’tknowwheretofindgoodresourcesorwhatkindsofmaterialstoselect,especiallywhenthey’rejuststartingout.

I regularly share books, tapes, and videoswith the people I’m developingandequipping.AndIalsoenjoysendingthemtoseminars.Mygoalisalwaysto“bringsomethingtothetable”whenIspendtimewithsomeone,whetherit’sanemployee, a colleague, or a friend. I alwayswant to be a resource person forthem.

You can do the same thing for others. Start by sharing the books andresourcesthathavechangedyourlife.Andbeonthelookoutforgoodmaterialinothers’areasofinterest.Therearefewgreaterthrillsthanputtingintoothers’handsaresourcethatcanhelptakethemtothenextlevel.

7.StaywithThemUntilTheyCanSoloSuccessfullyI’vebeen told that every studentpilot looks forward to the first solo flight

with anticipation—and a certain amount of fear. But a good flight instructorwouldn’tallowastudenttotakethatsoloflightuntilheisready,norwouldheleta studentavoidher soloonceshe is ready. Iguessyoucouldsay that’s thedifferencebetweenatruementorandawanna-be.It’skindoflikethedifferencebetweena flight instructoranda travelagent.Theonestayswithyou,guidingyouthroughtheentireprocessuntilyou’rereadytofly.Theotherhandsyouaticketandsays,“Haveagoodflight.”

Asyoudeveloppeople, remember thatyouare taking themon the successjourneywithyou,not sending them.Staywith themuntil they’re ready to fly.

Andwhentheyareready,getthemontheirway.

8.CleartheFlightPathEvenafterteachingpeopletofly,providingthemwithfuel,andgivingthem

permissiontotakethecontrols,somementorsdon’ttakethenextsteprequiredtomaketheirpeoplesuccessful.

They don’t give them an unencumbered flight path. They usually don’tintentionallyrestrictthepeoplethey’redeveloping,butitstillhappens.

Hereareseveralcommonobstaclescreatedbymentorsforpotentialleaders:

•Lackofcleardirection:Manytimesapotentialleadergetsmentoredandlearnshowtodoajob,thenheisleftadrift,withoutanydirectionfromhisleader.

•Bureaucracy:Orshelearnshowherleaderworksandthinks,andthensheisputintoabureaucraticsystemthatstiflestheinnovativespiritthatthementorjustengendered.

•Isolation:Everyoneneedsacommunityofpeoplewithwhomtoshareandfromwhomtodrawsupport.Oftenifthementordoesn’tprovideit,thenewleaderwon’thaveit.

•Busywork:Workwithnoperceivedvaluedemoralizesandde-motivatespeople.

•Poorordishonestcommunication:Anagendathatisn’tcommunicatedhonestlytothepersonbeingdevelopedhinderstherelationshipandconfusesthepotentialleader.

Once you begin to develop others, check to see that you’re not leavingobstacles in their path. Give them clear direction, positive support, and thefreedomtofly.Whatyoudocanmakethedifferencebetweentheirfailureandsuccess.Andwhentheysucceed,sodoyou.

9.HelpThemRepeattheProcessAfter you’ve done everything you can to help your people, and they have

takenoffandaresoaring,youmaythinkyou’refinished.Butyou’renot.Thereisstillonemorestepyoumust take tocomplete theprocess.Youhave tohelpthem learn to repeat thedevelopmentprocessand teachothers to fly.Yousee,

thereisnosuccesswithoutasuccessor.A great joy in my life has been to see how leaders I’ve developed and

equipped have turned around and repeated the processwith others. Itmust besimilar to the joy a great-grandfather feels as he looks at the generations thathavebeenraisedupinhisfamily.Witheachsuccessivegeneration,thesuccesscontinues.

Thisprocessofreproductionhasbecomeapatterninmylife.Forexample,whenIgottoSanDiegoin1981,IhiredanassistantnamedBarbaraBrumagin.Itrainedher, teachinghereverything sheneeded toknow tomaximizemy timeand talents. She stayedwithme for eleven years. But before she leftme, sheequippedLindaEggers,whoismyassistanttoday.Lindahasbeenwithmefortwenty-fiveyears,andsheisintheprocessofmentoringandequippingherownassistants.

Thepositiveeffectsofdevelopingothersareremarkable.Butyoudon’thavetobearemarkableorunusuallytalentedpersontomentorothers.Youcanraiseuppeoplearoundyouandteachthemtofly,justasIhave.Itdoestakedesireanda commitment to the process, but it is the most rewarding part of success.Raisingupothersisthegreatestjoyintheworld.Yousee,oncepeoplelearntofly,they’recapableofgoingjustaboutanywhere.Andsometimeswhenthey’reflyinghigh,theyhelpyoualongtoo.

StepstoTakeAlongtheWay

WhatShouldWeDoAlongtheWay?

1.IdentifyingDevelopmentAreas:Nowit’stimetodevelopastrategyformentoringthepeopleyouselectedintheexerciseattheendofchapter9.Usethefollowinggridtobrainstormhowyoucandevelopthepeoplearoundyou.

NameofPerson GreatestStrength AreastoDevelop ResourcestoShare

[YourResponse]

2.MakingtheDevelopmentofPeoplePartofYourRoutine:Duringthenextmonth,plantospendtimedevelopingyourfamilymembersandthetoppeoplefromotherareasofyourlife(work,church,etc.).Usingtheprecedinggridandyourcalendar,schedulementoringtimewitheachperson.Don’tforgettoplanbringingalongpeopleyouintendtodevelopasyoudovarioustasks.Youmayevenwanttogetintothehabitofwritingtheinitialsofthepersonyouintendtohaveaccompanyyouinyourplannerorcalendareachtimeyoumakeoutyourschedule.Alsosetasidetimetoselectandgathertheresourcesyouintendtosharewithpeople.

[YourResponse]

3.PlanningMonthly:Markablockoftimeonyourcalendarnextmonthtorepeatthisprocess.Andyouwillwanttokeeprepeatingit—aslongasyouintendtokeepdevelopingothers.

[YourResponse]

I

AFTERWORD

WhatDidYouLikeBestAbouttheTrip?

mentioned inchapter5 thatwhenIwasseventeen, I started readingwith thegoal of growing personally, and I began filing quotes and articles for future

use.IknewthedisciplineofperformingthosetaskswasnecessaryifIwasgoingto be able to fulfill my purpose and reach my potential. It was especiallyimportant inaprofessionwhere Iwouldbe required towriteandspeak.MorethanfortyyearshavepassedsinceIbeganthatpractice,andI’vedrawnonthatknowledgeandthematerialI’vefiledalmosteveryday.

And that’swhat I’vedonewhilewriting thisbook. I’vedrawnfrom thingsI’vegleaned,personalexperiences,andthematerialI’vefiledovertheyears.Inamannerofspeaking,youcouldsaythatthisbookwasn’tcreatedthisyearwhenitwaspublished.Itwasn’tevencreatedwhenthemanuscriptwaswritten.Itwaswrittenovera forty-yearperiod.Likesuccess, thisbookhasbeena journey inthemaking.

Sonowyouknowwhatitmeanstotakeasuccessjourney.Ihopethatyouhaveastrongersenseofyourpurpose,youunderstandwhatitmeanstogrowtoyour potential, and you are ready to start sowing seeds that benefit others—ifyou haven’t already begun to do so. But before we finish our brief journeytogether,I’vegottoaskyouoneotherquestion.It’sthesamequestionI’veaskedmychildrenandgrandchildreneach timewe’vecome to theendofa journey:“Whatdidyoulikebestaboutthetrip?”

Yousee, thedangerwithanybookisthat thepersonwhoreadsitwill turnthelastpage,putdownthebook,andneverthinkaboutitagain.Icertainlyhope

thatdoesn’thappeninyourcasebecauseIwanttheideasthatI’vepresentedtoradicallychangeyourlife.

ThatwasalwaysmygoalwheneverI tookmychildrenona trip—for theirlives to be changed. I wanted them to come back better than they left. Thatquestion—“Whatdidyoulikebestabout thetrip?”—wassomethingIaskedtohelp them process and applywhat they had encountered on the journey. AndnowI’maskingyouthatquestiontohelpyouprocessandapplytheprinciplesinthisbook.

Awhile back, my old friend Stan Toler and I were reminiscing about thesuccessjourneywe’vetakentogether.StanandIgobackalongway,allthewaytoouryearsincollege.Andintheearlyseventies,whenIwasreadytohiremyfirststaffmember,StanwasthepersonIwanted.

Stanhascomealongwayinhis life.Hewasbornintoapoorcoal-miningfamily in West Virginia. When he was a young boy, his family moved toColumbus,Ohio, to try tomake a better life for themselves, but itwasn’t toolongafterthemovethattheylosthisdad.Itwasverytoughonthem,buthe,hismom,andhistwobrotherswereabletosurvive.

Stanbeganworkingasapastorwhenhewasintheeleventhgrade.Afterhefinishedhighschool,hecontinuedworkingwiththechurchandlearnedtobeabarber in order to make a living. And he also enrolled in Circleville BibleCollege.On thedayhewalkedacross thestage to receivehisdegree fromthepresidentofthecollege,MelvinMaxwell(myfather),hewasthefirstpersoninhisfamilytohavereceivedacollegeeducation.

Iknew from the start thatStanwas loadedwith talent andpotential.But Ialsosawthathestillhadsomegrowingtodo:hisgrammarwaspoor(whichistroubleforsomeonewhodoesalotofspeaking),helackedconfidence,andhehadapoorself-image.Stanneededalittleencouragementtohelphimrealizehispotential. And I wanted to do everything I could to provide as much of thatencouragementaspossible.

First,IletStanknowhisgreatvalue.EverydaywhenIworkedwithhim,Itried to lethimknowhowmuchpotentialhehadandhowmuch Ibelieved inhim. I gave him duties that I knewwould stretch him andmake him grow. Iencouragedhimtospeakatconferencesandbeginmentoringothers.Andwhenhe thought about giving up on continuing his education, I encouraged him tokeepgrowinganddeveloping.

Today, Stan holds two bachelor’s degrees, a master’s degree, an earned

doctorate, and an honorary doctor of divinity degree. And he continues tochallenge himself and grow.He haswritten several books, and he spends themajorityofhistimeteachingandmentoringothers.

IbelieveStanwouldhavemadethesuccessjourneywithouthelpfromme.ButI’msuregladIwasabletogivehimahandalongtheway.AndIknowhehashelpedmetogotoahigherlevel.HehelpedmetobeasuccessmorethanthirtyyearsagowhenhewasmysolestaffmemberinLancaster,Ohio,andhecontinued to helpmeby being a part of thewinning teamat INJOY.Nowhetravelsfromcitytocityteachingpeopletogrow.Stanisasuccess:Heknowshispurpose,heisgrowingtohispotential,andheissowingseedstobenefitothers.Andontopofthat,hehasalwaysbeenatruefriend.

I’mheretoencourageyouandtellyouthatyoucandoittoo.Youcantraveltheroadofsuccess.Idon’tknowwhereyouareonthejourneybecauseIhaven’thad the pleasure of meeting you in person. But whether you’re just gettingstarted,arrivingatthemiddleofthetrip,orapproachingtheendofit,youcanmakeit.Youcantraveltheroadyouweredesignedtotake,andyoucanfinishstrong.

Few thingsworthhaving in lifeareeasy.But ifyoupersevere, itprobablywon’t be long before you realize that you truly are successful.At first, othersmay not recognize it, and you won’t get the credit you deserve. But as youcontinuetogrowandworkatfulfillingyourpurpose,atimewillprobablycomewhenothers suddenly consider you an overnight success and say, “Wow, howdidhegetsogoodsoquickly?”Andifyoucontinuetobegrowthorientedratherthangoaloriented,you’llstayonthepathofsuccess,andpeoplemayevengiveyoumorecreditthanyoudeserve.Butnomatterwhathappens,keepfollowingyour roadmap andmoving forward on the journey, staying true to your newdefinitionofsuccess.Andasyougo,makesureyoutakeotherswithyou.

Three,five,oreventenyearsfromnow,maybewe’llgetachancetomeet.And thingswillhavechangedforbothofus. Ihopeyouwill tellme then thatyou’ve gone higher up the mountain than you ever expected. And we’llreminisce,asStanandIhave.Andthat’swhenI’llaskyouagain,“Whatdidyoulikebestaboutthetrip?”

Notes

Chapter1:TheJourneyIsMoreFunIfYouKnowWhereYou’reGoing1.Ecclesiastes5:10NIV.2.BillRose,NewYorkHeraldTribune,November8,1948.

Chapter3:HowFarCanIGo?1.NellMohney,“BeliefsCanInfluenceAttitudes,”KingsportTimesNews,July25,1986,p.4B.

2.CoxReportonAmericanBusiness,1983.3.DonaldRobinson,“MindOverDisease,”Reader’sDigest.

Chapter4:HowDoIGetTherefromHere?1.BobBuford,Halftime(GrandRapids:Zondervan,1994),p.122.2.“PutYourPurposeonPaper,”DiscipleshipJournal,issue71,Sept./Oct.1992,pp.77–78.

3.NewAttitude,Spring1995.

Chapter5:WhatShouldIPackinMySuitcase?1.DenisE.WaitleyandRobertB.Tucker,WinningtheInnovationGame(GrandRapids:Revell,1986).

Chapter6:HowDoIHandletheDetours?1.DenisWaitley,SeedsofGreatness(GrandRapids:Revell,1983).2.LeadersonLeadership:InterviewswithTopExecutives,prefacebyWarrenBennis(Boston:HarvardBusiness,1992).

3.GilesKempandEdwardClaflin,DaleCarnegie:TheManWhoInfluencedMillions(NewYork:St.Martin’sPress,1989).

Chapter7:AreWeThereYet?1.BobBuford,Halftime(GrandRapids:Zondervan,1994),pp.30,164.2.BudGreenspan,The100GreatestMomentsinOlympicHistory(LosAngeles:GeneralPublishingGroup,1995).

Chapter8:IsItaFamilyTrip?1.GaryBauer,“AmericanFamilyLife,”FocusontheFamilymagazine,July1994,p.2.

2.FlorenceLittauer,PersonalityPlus(GrandRapids:Revell,1983),pp.24–81.

3.ThomasArmstrong,7KindsofSmart:IdentifyingandDevelopingYourManyIntelligences(NewYork:Plume,1993),pp.9–11.

4.WilliamKilpatrick,WhyJohnnyCan’tTellRightfromWrong(NewYork:Simon&Schuster,1992).

5.QuotedinChristianityToday,October4,1993.

Chapter9:WhoElseShouldITakewithMe?1.QuotedinTedJ.Rakstis,“CreativityatWork,”KiwanisMagazine.2.JoeGriffith,Speaker’sLibraryofBusiness(EnglewoodCliffs:Prentice-Hall,1990),p.55.

Chapter10:WhatShouldWeDoAlongtheWay?1.2Timothy1:6KJV.2.QuotedinTimHansel,WhenIRelaxIFeelGuilty(ColoradoSprings:ChariotFamily,1979).

3.RobertG.C.Waite,ThePsychopathicGod:AdolphHitler(NewYork:BasicBooks,1977),pp.244–45.

J

AbouttheAuthor

ohnC.Maxwellisa#1NewYorkTimesbestsellingauthor,coach,andspeakerwhohassoldmore than25millionbooks infifty languages. In2014hewas

identified as the #1 leader in business by the American ManagementAssociation®andthemostinfluentialleadershipexpertintheworldbyBusinessInsiderandInc.magazine.AsthefounderofTheJohnMaxwellCompany,TheJohnMaxwellTeam,EQUIP,andtheJohnMaxwellFoundation,hehastrainedmorethan5millionleaders.In2015,hereachedthemilestoneofhavingtrainedleaders from every country of the world. The recipient of theMother TeresaPrizeforGlobalPeaceandLeadershipfromtheLuminaryLeadershipNetwork,Dr.MaxwellspeakseachyeartoFortune500companies,presidentsofnations,and many of the world’s top business leaders. He can be followed atTwitter.com/JohnCMaxwell. For more information about him visitJohnMaxwell.com.