25 Minutes of SolitudeConnor SmithPd.54/28/14

I viewed this assignment as a challenge. I thought, hey, I wonder if I can accurately determine how much time has passed without a clock. I ended up getting 17 minutes and 5 seconds at the 17 minute mark and 22 minutes and 1 second at the twenty minute mark. I was able to do this by counting the beats of my heart, and, since I knew my heart rate, I was able to calculate the time elapsed. I figured that I would need 884 heart beats by the time I got to the 17 minute mark, and another 260 additional beats to get to the 22 minute mark. I was able to keep my heart rate constant by focusing on my breathing, and keeping myself calm. I know that when I do this, I am able to get my heart rate down to 52 bpm. This is pretty difficult, and requires a lot of concentration because the average heart rate for kids my age is 60-100 bpm. Seeing as I row and run however, I am able to get my heart rate lower, as my body is better at absorbing more oxygen per beat of the heart and breath of the lungs. Nevertheless, it's still difficult to get an even heart rate.For the last three minutes of the assignment, I thought about human existence and suicide. I thought about why people just don't kill themselves. In my opinion, the only thing that people have to live for is fun and happiness, and we live in a world in which these things are very difficult to attain. Of course, there are those people who are happy with very little, and I applaud them, but I would assume that for a majority of people, especially those in third world countries, life totally sucks. So what keeps them from suicide? Human instinct? Hope of a better life? Those little moments of happiness? Religion? I'm not sure whether or not their persistence is admirable or stupid, but nonetheless, I think it's interesting. I came to the conclusion that the reason I havent committed suicide is that I have hope, and I have chemistry. If my life were to get no better than it currently is, I would definitely do my best to make a radical change, but if that didnt succeed, I wouldnt see much point in living. Before you go pshh, you live in a first world country and are middle class, shut the hell up and realize that your suffering is nothing compared to others in the world, acknowledge that despite this, I would call myself objectively unhappy. I have a bad relationship with my family, I am constantly stressed out about my future, I am at odds with many people in my life, and I have the education to know that I live in a very fucked up society in which the government doesnt serve the people, most everybody kills each other, and the environment is being destroyed. Maybe I'm weak, or maybe I'm brilliant, but I would much rather choose ignorance than this mess.What gets me through difficulties that I have in life is my hope that the future will be better, and my love of Chemistry. I'm not going to go into that however because this reflection is way over 433 words. Too bad for John Cage. If it's not about him, then Nicholas Cage. It's always about Nicholas Cage.