23% 35 cream of s darkness · happy birthda y, bruce! make your own bruce campbel l ’s soup cans...
TRANSCRIPT
HA
PPY
BIR
THD
AY,
BR
UCE
!M
AK
E YO
UR
OW
N B
RU
CE CAM
PBELL’S
SO
UP CA
NS
BY DAVE MAASS • DESIGN BY CHRIS KALB
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TA
CH
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NET WT.10 3/4 OZ.
(305g)
BRUCE CAMPBELL’S SOUP COMPANYJACKSONVILLE, OR
CO
UP
ON
PLEASE RECYCLEPRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
NET WT.10 3/4 OZ.
(305g)
BRUCE CAMPBELL’S SOUP COMPANYJACKSONVILLE, OR
CO
UP
ON
PLEASE RECYCLEPRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS
Cream ofDarkness
QUICK & EASY DIRECTIONS
MIX SOUP + 1 CAN WATER1. Give it some sugar, baby.
2. Agitate with boomstick.
3. Intone the following words: “Klaatu barada nikto!”
Bruce Campbell’s Cream of Darkness is based on an ancient recipe from the Necronomicon and made with only the finest ingredients from the gardens of medieval English peasants. For Deadite deliciousness, look for Cream of Darkness at your nearest S-Mart.
• SERVING SUGGESTION: TO QUIET THE IMP IN YOUR BELLY, POUR IT BOILING DIRECTLY DOWN THE THROAT.
35¢ OFF
Ghoul-AshAnother product from Campbell’s Necronomicon line!
Groovy!
Not just good...
NutritionFactsServ. Size 1/2 cup (120mL)condensed soupServings about 2.5Calories 90 Fat Cal. 0*Percent Daily Values (DV) are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Vitamin B-movie 8% • Grade-A Ham 10% • Shemp 4%
Amount/serving %DV*
Badassium 140g 94% Zingers 45g 9% Attitude 20g Beatings 66g Stubble 4gCultidium 100mg 23%
Amount/serving %DV*
Humor 90mg 22%Machismo 690mg 20%Sex Appeal 10g 18% Grooviness 6g 8% Sugars, Baby 4gChin 40g
Bisque o’County Jr
QUICK & EASY DIRECTIONS
MIX SOUP + 1 CAN WATER1. Add cheese. Lots of cheese.
2. Stir in steamed punk.
3. Served cold, like revenge.
Bruce Campbell’s Bisque o’ County Jr is a southwestern soup that combines the flavors of the 56th century with a Wild West sensibility. Legend has it that it hasn’t been passed down for centuries, but stolen back and forth between bounty hunters, con women and bandits.
• SERVING SUGGESTION: TRY IT WITH A SIDE OF FIRST SEASONAL X-FRIES.
35¢ OFF
Daring DragoonStew or Half-off Cleopasta, $25.25
Very fancy!
NutritionFactsServ. Size 1/2 cup (120mL)condensed soupServings about 2.5Calories 90 Fat Cal. 0*Percent Daily Values (DV) are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Vitamin B-movie 16% • Grade-A Ham 2% • Shemp 0%
Amount/serving %DV*
Badassium 75g 48% Zingers 0g 0% Attitude 16g Beatings 23g Stubble 36gCultidium 2mg 0%
Amount/serving %DV*
Humor 45mg 11%Machismo 700mg 21%Sex Appeal 10g 18% Grooviness 2g 3% Sugars, Baby 8gChin 30g
HA
PPY
BIR
THD
AY,
BR
UCE
!M
AK
E YO
UR
OW
N B
RU
CE CAM
PBELL’S
SO
UP CA
NS
BY DAVE MAASS • DESIGN BY CHRIS KALB
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
NET WT.10 3/4 OZ.
(305g)
BRUCE CAMPBELL’S SOUP COMPANYJACKSONVILLE, OR
CO
UP
ON
PLEASE RECYCLEPRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
AT
TA
CH
HE
RE
NET WT.10 3/4 OZ.
(305g)
BRUCE CAMPBELL’S SOUP COMPANYJACKSONVILLE, OR
CO
UP
ON
PLEASE RECYCLEPRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS
AutolycusCheese
QUICK & EASY DIRECTIONS
MIX SOUP + 1 CAN WATER1. Remove from frying pan.
2. Place in fire.
Another day, another defilement, another delicious soup! When you drop your grappling hook into a bowl of smooth Bruce Campbell’s Autolycus Cheese soup, you’ll know that the King of Thieves is also the King of Sieves.
• SERVING SUGGESTION: USE AS A SIDE DISH TO COMPLEMENT BEEF CAKES AND FREE-RANGE CHICKS.
35¢ OFF
Raimi BitsSo good, it’s scary. Limit one. Expires 6/22/11.
Food of the Gods...
NutritionFactsServ. Size 1/2 cup (120mL)condensed soupServings about 2.5Calories 90 Fat Cal. 0*Percent Daily Values (DV) are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Vitamin B-movie 6% • Grade-A Ham 20% • Shemp 4%
Amount/serving %DV*
Badassium 69g 40% Zingers 10g 2% Attitude 15g Beatings 44g Stubble 0gCultidium 150mg 35%
Amount/serving %DV*
Humor 130mg 32%Machismo 690mg 20%Sex Appeal 12g 20% Grooviness 6g 8% Sugars, Baby 6gChin 35g
Ingredients: Artichoke heart of gold, testosterone. Not a significant source of modesty, self-control or common sense.
GumboHo-Tep
HEALTH WARNINGS:
Bruce Campbell’s Gumbo Ho-tep was said to be Elvis Presley’s second favorite food after the banana, peanut butter and bacon sandwich. This soup is just like the gumbo his mummy used to make and, as a significant source of Vitamin JFK, it is now served in all fine nursing homes throughout East Texas.
• SERVING SUGGESTION: FOLLOW A BOWL OF GUMBO HO-TEP WITH CHOCOLATE DING DONGS, BABY RUTH AND PAYDAY BARS.
35¢ OFF
Maniac Cupof Tomato Soup Protects & serves one.
Hunger has left the building!• Has not been found to shrink
growths on one’s pecker.
• May contain cockroach parts.
NutritionFactsServ. Size 1/2 cup (120mL)condensed soupServings about 2.5Calories 90 Fat Cal. 0*Percent Daily Values (DV) are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Vitamin B-movie 6% • Grade-A Ham 4% • Shemp 0%
Amount/serving %DV*
Badassium 21g 14% Zingers 5g 0% Attitude 10g Beatings 4g Stubble 2gCultidium 200mg 45%
Amount/serving %DV*
Humor 80mg 20%Machismo 230mg 15%Sex Appeal 4g 7% Grooviness 3g 4% Sugars, Baby 0gChin 2g