116 boy toy

The Fairly OddParents

“Boy Toy”

RECORDING SCRIPT (AN 11 MINUTE SCRIPT)

#116

Written By:Butch Hartman and Steve Marmel

First Draft:11/2/00Second Draft:11/16/00Third Draft:11/27/00Fourth Draft:12/1/00Final Draft:12/14/00

Nickelodeon Animation Studiosc 2000 Viacom International Inc. All rights reserved

The Fairly OddParents: "Boy Toy” Recording Script 5/18/01

FADE IN:

EXT. A VACANT LOT WITH ONE TREE - SATURDAY MORNING

PUSH IN ON a solitary TREE which holds a solitary TREEHOUSE. Nearby, TIMMY, CHESTER and AJ are loading OLD TOYS into a CATAPULT and shooting them into the air.

1 TIMMYPULL!

AJ launches a stuffed ALBERT EINSTEIN DOLL into the air. Timmy takes a bead on it with a sling shot.

ON DOLL

2 ALBERT EINSTEIN DOLLE equals MC...

The rock hits the doll, shattering it.

ON CHESTER, AJ AND TIMMY

3 AJBye, Albert!

4 CHESTERThis sure was a great idea to destroy our old stuff, Timmy! Hey! Launch my retainer.

Timmy straps the RETAINER to the catapult.

5 AJYeah! Now that we’re ten, we don’t need our dumb nine-year-old stuff!

They launch the retainer.

6 TIMMYHey, let’s launch this!!!

Timmy pulls out an eight-inch-tall, beat up CRIMSON CHIN ACTION FIGURE.

7 CHESTERBut, Timmy...that’s your favorite Crimson Chin action figure!

8 AJ

1


Yeah! It even has eighteen Chin-tastic action phrases!

AJ pushes a button on the doll’s chest.

9 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLQuick! To the hydrofoil!

10 TIMMYBut it’s last year’s model. I am so beyond him and his lame phrases.

Timmy loads the doll into the catapult and is about to launch it when he hears...

11 TOOTIE (O.S.)Timmy? Timmy?

12 TIMMYOh no!

Chester pulls out some BINOCULARS and scans the area.

CHESTER’S POV - He sees TOOTIE: A nine year old girl full of sugar, spice and everything obsessed with Timmy. She pops out of some nearby bushes holding a PHOTO of Timmy.

13 CHESTERIt’s Vicky’s little sister, Tootie!

14 TIMMYQuick! To the anti-girl fortress!

The boys scramble up a ROPE LADDER into the treehouse.

15 TOOTIEWait! Wait for me!

Tootie runs towards the treehouse.

CUT TO:

INT. - THE TREEHOUSE - SIMULTANEOUS

It’s a nice treehouse. Timmy does have magic Godparents. The place looks like the bridge of the Starship Enterprise. Dramatic music builds throughout the scene. COSMO and WANDA are in the fishbowl nearby.

The guys run in and man their positions. AJ sits at a large COMPUTER MONITOR, where we see Tootie onscreen.

2


16 AJEnemy onscreen, Captain.

Timmy hops into the CAPTAIN’S CHAIR.

17 TIMMYPrepare to fire phasers.

Chester mans a giant WATER BALLOON SLINGSHOT/GUN and aims it at Tootie.

18 CHESTERPhasers locked, Captain.

ON COSMO AND WANDA

19 COSMOI love when the phasers get locked.

ON TIMMY - still holding the Crimson Chin doll.

20 TOOTIE (O.S.)Timmy! Can I come up and play?

21 TIMMYFire!!

Chester fires a WATER BALLOON at Tootie -<BAM!>

EXT. THE TREEHOUSE - SIMULTANEOUS

ON TOOTIE - <SPLAT!> she gets totally soaked!

22 TOOTIE(crying) Whaaa! I’m so wet, you can’t even see how much I’m crying! Can I at least come up and dry off?

23 TIMMY (O.S.)Fire!

<SPLAT!> She gets hit with another water balloon!

24 TOOTIE Whaaa!!!

Timmy and the guys poke their heads out of the treehouse.

25 TIMMY

3


This club has two rules! No girls, and no kids with names that sound like bodily noises, Tootie!

ON TOOTIE at the foot of the tree. Widen to reveal THREE OTHER BOYS, who hang their heads sadly.

26 BOY #1 - RALPHCome on, Art.

27 BOY #2 - ARTOkay, Ralph. Let’s go, Erp.

27A BOY #3 – ERP(belches)

Erp belches as the three winners slink away. Timmy shuts the window which has a “No Tootie” SIGN painted on it. (It’s Tootie’s face with circle and a slash through it.)

28 TOOTIE(Sadly, to photo of Timmy)

Why won’t you give my love a chance?

Tootie sadly walks away. A final water balloon sails from the treehouse and explodes where she was standing.

29 CHESTER (O.S.)Darn it!

CUT TO:

INT. THE TREEHOUSE - SIMULTANEOUS

30 WANDA(disapprovingly)

That’s not funny.

Cosmo hits her with a water balloon.

31 COSMONow it’s funny.

Chester and AJ stand next to the Water Balloon slingshot.

32 CHESTERAw, man! We’re all out balloons!

33 AJLet’s get some more, and strap Timmy’s old Crimson Chin doll to one!

4


34 TIMMYYeah! We can hit Tootie with a balloon and a plastic doll!

Chester and AJ exit. Timmy looks at the Crimson Chin doll.

ON CRIMSON CHIN DOLL, sitting on the floor.

35 TIMMY (to doll)

Well... I guess this is goodbye.

Cosmo and Wanda, doll sized, pop in next to the toy. Timmy presses a BUTTON on the Chin’s back.

36 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLYou’re my best pal!

37 COSMOIf you used to like it so much why are you going to destroy it?

38 TIMMYBecause I don’t need this doll anymore! I have you guys!

(giving doll one last look)Still, he was pretty cool.

(after a thought)You know, I wish I could play with him one more time.

Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands and POOF! Timmy is now TOY SIZED.

39 TIMMY Hey, I’m toy sized!

The Chin doll sweeps Timmy behind him.

40 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLThere’s evil afoot! I mean, a-chin!

41 TIMMYWow! You made him alive!

42 COSMOSure! Standing next to a lifeless doll would have been boring!

5


Widen to reveal a BARBIE DOLL.

43 COSMO And yet...

The Chin does foot sweep and takes Barbie out of the picture. The Chin presses a button on his chest.

44 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLSome horror approaches! Quick! To the Chin Cave!

The doll grabs Timmy and bounces behind a basketball. Cosmo and Wanda freeze, looking just like dolls. A wet Tootie enters.

45 TOOTIETimmy? Where are you?

Tootie sees the doll-sized Cosmo and Wanda and picks them up.

46 TOOTIE Neat! Fairy dolls! I can add Timmy’s dolls to my Timmy love shrine!

47 COSMOMaybe if you took us to your house, Timmy would follow you and try to get us back!

(off Wanda’s glare)What? Can’t I have an action phrase?

48 TOOTIEThat’s a great idea!

Tootie exits with Cosmo and Wanda.

ON TIMMY AND CHIN DOLL behind the BASKETBALL. The Crimson Chin doll crouches, pressing his “talk” button and makes a muscle.

49 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLThe commissioner is missing! And look at the size of these pipes!

The Chin doll leaps after Tootie and sails through a tree house window. Timmy, still doll sized, freaks out.

50 TIMMYOh no! I’m stuck Toy Sized and my Godparents are being taken to Vicky’s house! There’s only one thing to do!

50A TIMMY

6


(gasps)

Timmy balls up into a fetal position, and sucks his thumb. Chester and AJ return. Timmy <<GASPS>> and freezes, like a toy, thumb still in mouth.

51 CHESTERWow! A Timmy Turner Action figure! With Thumb sucking action!

AJ grabs Timmy and forces his mouth open and closed.

52 AJAnd look! He’s got kung fu overbite!

Timmy bites AJ’s finger.

53 AJ Ow! What should we do with it?

54 CHESTERWell, it is an uncanny likeness of our best friend. (beat) Let’s launch him into Mrs. O’Leary’s yard!!!

55 AJYou mean the lady with the pet bees? We can’t do that!

Chester loads Timmy into the slingshot. AJ pulls out a HONEY POT and slathers Timmy with honey.

56 AJ Now we can do it!

Chester releases the slingshot, and “fires” Timmy OS.

57 TIMMYAAAAAAAAA!!!!

58 CHESTERHey, it screams like a baby, just like Timmy!

CUT TO:

EXT. - MRS. O’LEARY’S YARD - SECONDS LATER

FROM TIMMY’S POV -- The Camera pushes in on a BEE HIVE, with thousands of ANGRY BEES buzzing around.

ON TIMMY’S FACE

7


59 TIMMYAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

CUT TO:

INT. - TOOTIE’S ROOM - SIMULTANEOUS

ON A PHOTO OF TIMMY’S FACE

60 TOOTIE (OS)Now I have two of Timmy’s dolls to add to my Timmy collection!

Pull back to see Tootie, still holding Cosmo and Wanda as dolls. Her room is a veritable shrine to Timmy. TIMMY PHOTOS, CALENDARS, DRAWINGS, and other inappropriate Timmy PERSONAL BELONGINGS: Underwear, socks, etc.

61 WANDA(looking around; to Cosmo)

Wow. She really has a thing for Timmy!

62 COSMO(to Wanda)

Well, sure! He’s the bomb!(beat)

I read that in a teen magazine!

63 TOOTIELet’s play Timmy and Tootie in their jungle home!

Tootie pulls out a DOLL HOUSE that looks exactly like Timmy’s tree house.

64 TOOTIE (to Wanda) You’re me!(to Cosmo) And you’re Timmy!

65 COSMOCool! I’m the bomb!

Tootie then forces them to “mash face”

66 TOOTIE MWAH! MWAH! I LOVE YOU TOOTIE! MWAH! MWAH! MWAH! MWAH! MWAH! MWAH!

67 COSMOHey! I like this game!

8


CUT TO:

EXT. - MRS. O’LEARY’S YARD - SECONDS LATER

Timmy is still plummeting toward the bees.

68 TIMMYAAAAA! I’m dead!

69 CRIMSON CHIN DOLL (OS)Did somebody say “Justice?”

The Crimson Chin doll bounces off a TREE BRANCH, hurls himself through the air, grabs Timmy and pulls him through a picket FENCE, safely away from the bees.

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE

70 TIMMYThanks, Crimson Chin doll! You totally saved me! I wonder why I got so bored with you?

Timmy presses a BUTTON on the Chin’s chest.

71 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLCheck out my dimple! It’s huge!

72 TIMMYNow I remember... your action phrases stink!

73 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLTo the hydrofoil!

74 TIMMYWhatever. Come on! We gotta rescue Cosmo and Wanda!

Timmy and the Chin exit as we...

CUT TO:

EXT. VICKY’S HOUSE - SAME TIME

ON TOOTIE’S WINDOW - Tootie continues to make Cosmo and Wanda kiss.

75 TOOTIE MWAH! MWAH! I LOVE YOU TOOTIE!

(pulling Cosmo From Wanda)

9


Yeah? Well, you’re just a dumb girl! (beat)

That’s okay, Timmy! I’ll wait for you forever!(beat)

Fine! I’ll be over here throwing water balloons at you!

Tootie picks up a SQUIRT GUN and, pretending as though Cosmo was Timmy and holding it, blasts Wanda in the face.

76 WANDAThis doesn’t seem like a lot of fun. Maybe Timmy should try to play nicer with Tootie.

77 COSMOAre you nuts? I’m having a blast! And look how clean you’re getting!

THE CAMERA PANS AWAY from Tootie’s window, down to VICKY who stands in the backyard.

78 VICKYWell, time to do my chores!

WIDEN TO reveal TWO TERRIFIED TEN YEAR OLDS.

79 VICKY You trim my hedges, and you cut my lawn!

80 KID #1But these are YOUR chores!

She holds up some 8X10 PHOTOS.

81 VICKYAnd these are high definition photos of you two sneaking into an “R” rated movie!

(pointing to lawn equipment)Aaaaaaaaand... action!

The kids instantly start working. Vicky sits down and picks up a LEMONADE.

82 VICKY Whew! All this blackmailing is making me thirsty!

10


82A TOOTIE(giggling)

We HEAR Tootie giggling.

83 VICKYMy dorky, little sister is laughing when she should be down here doing my - I mean her - chores! I’ll fix that!

Vicky enters the house.

CUT TO:

EXT. VICKY’S LAWN - SAME TIME

Timmy and the Chin doll “peer through” some overgrown WEEDS. They watch Vicky enter the house. The kids with lawn equipment begin doing “their” chores.

84 TIMMYQuick! While she’s distracted! We’ve gotta get into that house!

85 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLI have goats in my pants!

They spring to action, beginning to cross the vast untamed jungle of Vicky’s lawn, heading toward the house.

86 TIMMYJust stay low...

Suddenly the ground shakes. Timmy and the Chin look OS.

TIMMY’S POV - One of the kids is pushing the now gigantic LAWN MOWER towards them.

87 TIMMY Oh no! Run!

Timmy turns to run and trips over Chester’s retainer, launched earlier.

88 TIMMY OOOF! Hey! That’s Chester’s retainer!

The lawn mower is inches away from shredding Timmy.

89 TIMMY

11


Man, that got some distance.

90 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLWithout gravity, we’d float into space!

91 TIMMY(sarcastic) Oh, that’s helpful.

The doll grabs the retainer and throws it into the whirling BLADES of the lawn mower.

92 CRIMSON CHIN DOLL Justice thy name is CHIN!

The lawn mower shakes, then explodes all over the ten year old kid.

93 LAWN MOWER KIDAll finished!

She runs OS.

ON TIMMY and the CHIN as lawn mower parts rain down around them. The Chin doll kicks and punches the falling parts away from Timmy so he doesn’t get hit.

94 TIMMYGood thinking, Crimson Chin!

95 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLOf all of my muscles, my brain is one of them!

96 TIMMYMan... You’re a cooler doll than I thought! Come on, pal, let’s go!

They start moving toward the door.

MONTAGE

* One of the kids waters the lawn with a hose. Timmy and the Chin must dodge the gigantic “WATER BOMBS” that explode around them.

* Timmy, holding the Crimson Chin doll like a lance, fends off a giant BUMBLE BEE.

* Timmy sees a piece of CHEESE. Licks his chops and picks it up. The Chin hurtles into scene, stopping a gigantic MOUSE TRAP from snapping Timmy in two.

97 CRIMSON CHIN DOLL

12


It’s never... too late... to learn... something new...

The Chin doll hops out of the trap as it snaps closed behind him. Timmy eats the cheese.

98 TIMMYMan, this is great! Together, nothing can stop us!

99 DOIDLE (OS.)GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...

100 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLGREAT JAWS OF JUSTICE!

Widen to reveal Vicky’s recently neutered dog, DOIDLE, standing over them.

101 TIMMYAh! It’s Vicky’s dog!

Doidle CHOMPS DOWN on the Chin doll, picks it up, and runs into the house through a DOG DOOR.

CUT TO:

INT. TOOTIE’S ROOM - SIMULTANEOUS

ON TOOTIE - Setting Cosmo and Wanda atop a wedding CAKE.

102 TOOTIEDo you, Timmy, take you, Tootie, to be your lawfully wedded wife?

A shadow falls over Tootie and the cake.

103 VICKY (OS.)Well, well, well...

Vicky’s hand reaches in and grabs the Cosmo and Wanda “dolls.”

104 VICKY What’s this? Two new toys? Guess who they get to meet?

105 TOOTIENot Mister Hammer!

13


106 COSMO AND WANDAMister Hammer?

Vicky pulls out a hammer.

107 VICKY Yes! Mister Hammer! And his friend, Mrs. Saw!

Vicky pulls out a SAW. Cosmo greets the objects of their destruction.

108 COSMOHi Mrs. Saw! I’m Cosmo and this is Wanda! (off Wanda’s glare)Don’t you want to be a good host?

Tootie grabs the dolls back.

109 TOOTIENo! Those are Timmy’s dolls!

110 VICKYOh, that changes everything!

Vicky puts on a welding MASK and lights a welding TORCH.

111 COSMOHey! Mr. Fire! Have you met, Wanda?

CUT TO:

INT. - VICKY’S KITCHEN - SAME TIME

Timmy jumps through the dog door and lands in the kitchen. He looks OS. and sees:

TIMMY’S POV - Doidle is huddled in the corner, tugging and pulling at the Chin doll.

ON TIMMY

112 TIMMYOh no! He’s being torn apart!

Timmy looks up and sees Vicky’s lemonade glass atop a nearby end TABLE. Timmy looks and sees another MOUSE TRAP. He stands on the deadly part and, using his hat, knocks the cheese off the bait switch. The trap springs, hurling Timmy onto the table, next to the lemonade glass.

113 TIMMY

14


Chew on your butt, not my friend!

Timmy tips the lemonade glass over, <<shattering>> it next to Doidle. The yellow liquid puddles right behind the dog.

CUT TO:

INT. TOOTIE’S ROOM - SIMULTANEOUS

Vicky is holding Tootie at bay with one foot, while she takes a bead on Cosmo and Wanda with the torch. We hear the glass <<SHATTER>> OS.

114 VICKYWhat was that?!?!

CUT TO:

INT. - VICKY’S KITCHEN - SECONDS LATER

Vicky, still holding Cosmo and Wanda, enters and sees Doidle surrounded by a YELLOW PUDDLE.

115 VICKYBad dog! You know you’re only supposed to do that outside, or at Timmy’s house!

Doidle runs OS. Vicky follows. Vicky drops Cosmo and Wanda as Timmy runs up to the now chewed up Chin doll.

116 TIMMYChin! Chin! Speak to me!

117 CRIMSON CHIN DOLL(pained)

There’s evil afoot! I mean, a-chin!

118 TIMMYChin... I’m sorry I got you into this mess! I promise... I’ll never let anything hurt you again.

119 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLYou’re... you’re... you’re...

Timmy smacks the doll on the head.

120 CRIMSON CHIN DOLL ...OW! You’re my best pal.

The Cosmo and Wanda dolls poof next to the Timmy doll.

15


121 TIMMYCosmo! Wanda! I wish I was normal sized!

POOF! Timmy becomes his normal size. Cosmo and Wanda remain at their doll sized height.

122 COSMOCome on, Timmy! Lets get you and your stupid doll and get out of here!

123 TIMMYHe’s not stupid! He’s my friend and he cares about me! And I should have treated him better.

Tootie enters. Timmy freezes against a wall, still out of her view.

124 TOOTIENO! Vicky’s stolen Timmy’s dolls! Now he’ll never come over! And he’ll never like me! Why doesn’t he like me?

125 WANDA(looking at Tootie)

Maybe he’s not the only one you should treat better.

126 COSMOYou know, she might be creepy, but she does have to put up with Vicky more than you do.

127 TIMMYYeah, you’re right. Vicky LIVES here! I guess when she’s not torturing me at my house... she’s torturing Tootie here. That’s gotta be the worst.

Timmy reveals himself to Tootie.

128 TIMMYUh... hi, Tootie.

129 TOOTIETimmy! Hi! I...

(gets mad)Wait! You’re only here to take back your stupid dolls and then hit me with another water balloon!!

16


130 TIMMY(reaching for the words)

Actually, I wanted to say I’m sorry I was mean to you. You see, I’m just...

131 COSMO AND WANDA(as “Dolls”)

A stupid ten year old boy!

132 TIMMYRight. And I’m not interested in girls! And I won’t be until...

133 COSMO AND WANDAHe’s a stupid eleven year old boy!

134 TOOTIEThen... there’s hope! There’s hope!

135 TIMMYUgh. I know I’m going to regret this but...

(whispered to Cosmo and Wanda)I should do something nice for her, to make up, you know? She’s not mean, she’s just a girl. It’s not her fault.

The Chin Doll stands heroically on his twisted broken legs and pushes his own button.

136 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLI’m totally into the idea of you giving me to Tootie. This way, she’ll always have a little piece of you she can smother and choke with love.

137 TIMMYWow. That was an oddly specific action phrase.

138 TIMMY(to doll)

I’m gonna miss you, pal.

139 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLI’ve got an itch on my cleft!

140 TIMMY

17


Tootie, I want you to have this. More importantly, I want you to have this and never, ever, follow me home again.

Timmy hands Tootie the Crimson Chin doll.

141 TOOTIEOh, Timmy! This is the best gift ever!

Tootie plants a kiss on Timmy’s cheek.

142 TIMMYI know I’m gonna regret this.

143 VICKY (OS.)Now... where was I?

144 TIMMYEvil sister! Gotta go! Bye!

Timmy runs out the door carrying Cosmo and Wanda, as Vicky enters the Kitchen through another entrance. Vicky sees the Crimson Chin doll in Tootie’s hand.

145 VICKYAnother toy? Wow, when it rains, it melts!

146 TOOTIENo! NO!!!

Vicky pulls out the welding torch. Through a window, Timmy observes.

147 TIMMY(to Cosmo and Wanda)

I wish the Chin doll was indestructible and had 12,000 “I hate Vicky” action phrases!

ON VICKY, holding the Chin doll with tongs and blasting it with the flame thrower to no affect.

148 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLYour icky, red-haired, yuckiness cannot pierce the shield of Tootie’s love!

148A TOOTIE(laughs)

Tootie laughs as the flame hits him again.

149 VICKYHe won’t melt!

18


150 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLEvil Redheads make boy-bands say “ew!”

150A TOOTIE(laughing)

The flame hits him again. Tootie continues laughing.

151 VICKYWhy won’t this stupid toy break?!?

The flame hits him again.

152 CRIMSON CHIN DOLLVicky’s face could be used as a form of biological warfare!

ON TIMMY, COSMO AND WANDA

153 TIMMYI wish we were back at the treehouse!

153A TOOTIE(continues laughing)

As Tootie continues to laugh, they POOF!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. THE TREEHOUSE - LATER

ON TIMMY with COSMO AND WANDA, now full-sized fairies.

154 COSMOTimmy’s got a girlfriend! Timmy’s got a...

155 WANDA(elbows Cosmo, then:)

That was really sweet of you, Timmy!

156 TIMMYYeah, well... As long as Chester and AJ don’t ever find out about me being nice to a girl, I’m safe...

157 CHESTER (OS)Hey, Timmy!

158 AJ (OS)Look who’s here!

19


Timmy sticks his head out the window.

159 TOOTIE (OS)Timmy! Timmy!

He sees Tootie pushing a gigantic WEDDING CAKE, Chester and AJ next to her. On the cake is the Crimson Chin doll, now wearing a pink hat (like Timmy’s) and a BARBIE DOLL made up to look like Tootie.

160 TOOTIE Look! This doll is you, and this one’s me!

She starts making the dolls mash face.

161 TOOTIE MWAH! MWAH MWAH! I love you Timmy! MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH! I love you too, Tootie! MWAH! MWAH MWAH!

ON TIMMY, COSMO AND WANDA

162 TIMMYWell, at least it can’t get any worse than this...

163 TOOTIE (OS)Oh, Timmy!!! I got you something, too!

Timmy looks out the window and... BAM! A gigantic WATER BALLOON slams into Timmy, soaking him.

164 TIMMYYou know what? Love stinks.

165 COSMOAnd it’s wet, too!

165A CHESTER, AJ, TOOTIE(laughing)

And on the sounds of Chester, AJ and Tootie laughing, we...

FADE TO BLACK.

END OF EPISODE

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116 boy toy

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