10 ways to improve your personality

8/10/2019 10 Ways to Improve Your Personality

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10 Ways To Improve YourPersonality

Contrary to what you may think, you canimprove your personality.

Until quite recently it was believed that personality is permanent. In

1890 William James, the famous Harvard psychologist, wrote in his

influential work The Principles of Psychology, that personality was "set in

plaster" by early adulthood. This view prevailed for over a century;

however, the idea that personality is more fluid has gained ground over

time. We are now at the point where we realize that we have influence

and control over which traits and characteristics we want to develop or

refine.

What is Personality?

The "personality" is the typical pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaviors that make a person unique.

When we say that someone has a "good personality" we mean that they are likeable, interesting andpleasant to be with.

Everyone wants to be attractive to others. To that end, having a good personality is vital - probably

even more so than good looks. In fact, approximately 85 percent of your success and happiness will

be a result of how well you interact with others. Ultimately, it is your personality that determines

whether people are attracted to, or shy away from you.

While we can only enhance our looks to a certain extent, we have the ability to improve the

personality as much as we want. We can develop or integrate any trait we deem fitting and agreeable.

Here are some ways we can accomplish this:

1. Be a better listener.

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was considered one of the most charming women in the world

because she cultivated the skill of being an exceptional listener. She was known for the way

she would look a person in the eyes, hang on their every word, and make them feel important.

There is nothing more appealing than having someone listen to you intently making you feel

like you're the only person in the world.

2. Read more and expand your interests.

The more you read and cultivate new interests, the moreinterestingyou are to others. When

you meet new people it gives you the opportunity to share what you know and to exchangeyour views with them.

3. Be a good conversationalist.

This relates to how much you read and know. Once you have much

to contribute, learn how to talk about it with others. No one can read

about or know everything, so it's refreshing to learn from others
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those things we don't have the time to about read ourselves. If you happen to be shy, join a

group like Toastmasters that encourages you to talk about what you know.

Enjoy the article onThe Art of Conversation!

4. Have an Opinion.

There is nothing more tiresome than trying to talk to someone who has no opinion on

anything. A conversation has nowhere to go if you have nothing to expound on. If, however,

you have an uncommon point of view or differing opinion, you are more interesting and

stimulating to be with socially (unless you're a know-it-all, of course). A unique outlook

expands everyone'sperspective.

5. Meet New People.

Make the effort to meet new people especially those unlike you. It not only exposes you to

different cultures and alternative ways of doing things, it broadens your horizons.

6. Be yourself.

The next most tiresome thing after having no opinions is trying to be something you're not.

Molding yourself in order to fit in, or be accepted, usually backfires. Since each of us isunique,

expressing that uniqueness is what makes us interesting. Attempting to be a carbon copy of

someone else not only falls flat, but reveals a lack of authenticity.

7. Have a positive outlook and attitude.

Who wants to be around people who are negative, complain a lot, or have nothing good to

say? In fact, most of us run when we see them coming. Instead, be the kind of upbeat person

who lights up a room with your energy when you enter it. Do it by looking for the best in

people and things. Smile warmly, spread good cheer, and enliven others with your presence.

See:How to Think Positively

8. Be fun and see the humorous side of life.

Everyone enjoys the company of someone who makes them laugh, or

smile, so look for thehumorous,quirky side in a situation - there always

is one. Comic relief is a much welcome and needed diversion at times.

When you can add fun and lightheartedness to an otherwise dull or

gloomy setting, others will naturally be attracted to you, not to mention

grateful.

9. Be supportive of others.

Being supportive is probably the most endearing quality you can integrate into your

personality. Just as you yourself welcome it, be thesupportfor others when they need it. We
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all love a cheerleader in our corner; someone who is encouraging, believes in us and helps

pick us up when we're down.

10.Have Integrity and treat people with respect.

Being honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration, respect and gratitude ofothers. Nothing improves a person's personality more thanintegrityand respect - respect for

others, as well as respect for yourself.

We humans have the power and ability to shape our personalities however we wish. When we develop

ourselves to beall that we can be,we contribute to our own, as well as thehappiness of others.

How to Be Mature

82 authors | 365 revisions | Last updated: 9 hours agoOctober 11, 2012

Article

EditDiscuss

Are you tired of being pulled into childish conversations and petty arguments? Do you want to be looked up to

as "the adult in the room"? Follow the tips in this article to learn to be mature in every situation.

EditSteps

Be Courteous

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Use good manners when you interact with people.

Use good manners when you interact with people. Shake hands with a solid grip, and look the person in the

eye. Repeat his or her name and make an effort to remember it.

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o Throughout the conversation, listen carefully and maintain eye contact. Avoid fidgeting or fiddling withrandom objects.

o If you're not sure about the proper etiquette for a particular situation, notice what others are doing andfollow suit. After the event, check an etiquette guide to find out the appropriate way to behave.

o When you enter a new situation or new community, keep quiet for awhile and notice how othersconduct themselves. Then act accordingly.

2. 2

Observe good online etiquette.

o Turn off your caps lock key. Capitalize proper nouns and the beginnings of sentences.o Proofread before you send an e-mail or make a social media post. Use complete sentences.o Go easy on abbreviations, slang and emoticons. A sprinkling of these in an informal message can add

color, but try to keep your online presence as professional as possible.

o Avoid speaking 1337 when not necessary . In other words, don't send texts such as: 1 h4v3 l0t5 0ffr13nd5. Your posts will be difficult to read, and you won't look mature.

o Treat controversial topics with respect online. Don't start arguments over sensitive subjects like religionand politics.

3. 3
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Be helpful. Hold doors, help pick things up and offer assistance to anyone who needs it without prejudice.

4. 4

Avoid trying to be the center of attention all the time. People will notice your need for attention, and theywill assume that you're immature. People will enjoy listening to your contributions if you allow them the chanceto speak as well.

5. 5

Say "thank you" and "you're welcome." Say pleasant things like, "Have a nice day."

6. 6

Smile politely at strangers, and greet people that you know.

7. 7

Accept both compliments and criticism gracefully.

Accept both compliments and criticism gracefully. If somebody has taken the trouble to compliment you,

then act appreciative. If someone criticizes you, say, "thank you for your feedback, I'll definitely think it over."

You can decide later whether the criticism is valid, but you'll appear mature in the moment.
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Communicate Like a Mature Person

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Control your temper. Don't overreact to something minor.

o If you must say something or disagree with someone, then do so tactfully and in a calm tone of voice.You'll find that people respond more positively.

o When you need to get people's attention, yelling and shouting will make the chaos worse. Simply say,"May I have your attention please" until they listen, or use a non-verbal gesture such as raising yourhand.

o Take deep breaths and count to 3. You may think it's stupid, but it works.o If you have a temper, people may enjoy provoking you. When you control your temper, they will lose

interest in making you angry.

2. 2

Avoid swearing in professional situations.

Avoid swearing in professional situations. Instead, use more appropriate and accurate words to

communicate your displeasure with something.

3. 3

Talk about mature topics to people, such as work, the news, life experiences and life lessons you havelearned. Say something polite about how people dress, what they say or how they conduct themselves. If youcan't say something positive, then don't say anything.


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4. 4

Learn to apologize sincerely for your mistakes, inappropriate words and actions towards others. Youmight have to practice to overcome your pride, but a genuine apology when you've done something wrong

demonstrates true maturity.

5. 5

Avoid even white lies. Even seemingly innocent lies will come back to haunt you.

6. 6

Stop whining. If you've lost an argument, then be gracious. If you're right, other people will realize iteventually.

7. 7

Don't gossip and say hurtful things about other people when they aren't around.

Don't gossip and say hurtful things about other people when they aren't around.

Have a Mature Mindset


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1. 1

Demonstrate genuine goodwill toward others. Goodwill toward others is a sign of maturity because it showsthat you have recognized that "we are all in this together."

2. 2

Be the bigger person if someone is unkind to you.

Be the bigger person if someone is unkind to you. If you can let it go, don't reply; your silence will

communicate your disapproval. If you can't let it go, simply tell the person that their comment was rude.

3. 3

Have confidence in yourself. Do not apologize for bits of quirkiness, oddities or weirdness that you may have.As long as your behaviors aren't antisocial, then you should accept them as unique components of yourindividual personality.

4. 4

Keep an open mind. Just because you have never heard of or tried something, doesn't mean you should shutit out or dismiss the possibility. Rather, see it as an opportunity for you to learn about something (or someone)new and different.


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5. 5

Pick mature friends.

Stress Management Strategies -

How to Deal With Stress

Stress management strategiesare more important than ever in these

chaotic, uncertain, and quickly changing times. Our modern lifestyle is

fraught with deadlines, pressures and various frustrations on a day to

day basis. No wonder we find ourselves frazzled, spent and

overwhelmed.

Of course, stress isn't always a bad thing. In small doses it can help

motivate you by providing the edge needed to gear up to a higher level

of performance.

Quite often it can be the push that propels you to do your best;

however, if you always operate at full throttle, it will take a hazardous

toll on your mind and body.

What is Stress?

Stress is a normal physical response to real or imagined threats. It is

the body's 'fight-or-flight' reaction to impending harm or danger - a necessary defense mechanism

wired into us since the beginning of our existence. When working properly the stress response helps

us stay focused and alert. In extreme cases it's what gives us both that extra boost of strength and

energy to defend ourselves in life threatening situations, as well as the ability to react with

extraordinary speed and presence of mind in the face of imminent danger.
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Of course, the type of stress we deal with daily is somewhat different from the stress needed to keep

us alert and vigilant. The stress that we need management strategies for is the type that makes us

feel 'not in control' and damages health, productivity, relationships and overall quality of life. While it

may appear that we have no control over this type of stress, we have more than we realize.

For one thing, while we may not be able to control certain stressful situations in our lives, we cancertainly control how we respond to them and we can respond by taking charge of our thoughts,

emotions and manner in which deal with them.

Stress management entails changing what we can about a stressful situation when possible, or

changing our response to it when we cannot. Ultimately, the goal is to live a balanced life with time for

work, leisure and relationships by having the ability to deal with pressure and stressful situations with

resilience and composure.

Strategies for Dealing With Stress

Identify the stressors in your life.As simple as it sounds, many people aren't even aware of what

stresses them out, nor does everyone find the same things stressful. One person's stress can be

another's challenge or motivation. Similarly, few people realize how much their own thoughts, feelingsand behaviors contribute to their stress. We are each in charge of how we interpret events in

our lives. We are also in charge of behaviors such as procrastination, lack of organization, and

inattention that lead to deadline worries, not paying bills on time and inability to accomplish important

tasks which, in turn, cause stress. Therefore, the first import step is to identify the stressors in your

life and the ways you might be contributing to them.

Simplify Your Life. If you are burning yourself out by doing too much, start cutting back on some of

your unproductive, yet time consuming and energy draining activities. No one can do everything.

Set your priorities and make room for doing what you value and find most important. Equally

important is learning tosay NO!Delegate and redistribute tasks if you have to, but don't try to do it

all. Hire a cleaning service one day a week, get a baby sitter to pick up the kids after school, have alawn service do the landscaping. Feeling stressed and overburdened comes from taking on too much

and not balancing it with relaxation and down time.

See article:5 Tips for a Well Balanced Life

Reduce effects of stress by eating well, exercising regularly and

getting enough sleep. I don't know about you, but when I'm hungry,

sluggish (from inactivity) or tired, I am verystressed and grumpy! Not

getting the nutrients your body needs to stay healthy causes both

mental and physical stress; so does not getting enough sleep. And

regular exercisenot only releases tension and stress while you're doing

it, it builds stamina and endurance enabling you to handle stressbetter. Most people totally underestimate the importance of

maintaining good physical health to ward off stress and anxiety.

Article:Benefits of Regular Exercise

Accept that there are things you cannot change.As we all know, there are many things in life

beyond our control such as the death of a loved one, job loss, illness, or even the behavior of others.
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As difficult as it may be at first, in such cases, the best thing we can do is accept things as they are.

Secondly, we can choose how to react to the event. Some constructive ways include:

expressing what you are going through to a friend or therapist (healing)

keeping a journal to record thoughts and feelings (cathartic)

looking for opportunities for growth; learning from the experience (productive)

developing resilience (building inner strength)

There are also more common causes of unavoidable stress such as job interviews, taking an exam,

having to make a presentation, a disagreement with someone, and similar situations. In such cases it

helps to to know how to stay as composed as possible. Deep breathing techniques,visualization

(mentally rehearsing the event) and preparing yourself as much in advance as you can, dramatically

lessens the stress you will experience.

Manage stress in healthy ways.Do you currently cope with stress in healthy or unhealthy ways? If

your current coping mechanisms are unhealthy, you are compounding the problem. Unhealthy ways of

handling stress include, abusing alcohol, taking various pills,

smoking, over or under eating, watching too much television,

taking your frustrations out on others, and overall avoidance of

your

problems. If you are already under stress and dealing with it in

ways that are detrimental to your health, you are making matters

much worse by compounding the stress.

Not surprisingly, we all have unique responses to stress and how

we choose to handle it. The trick is to find what works for YOU!

One of the best studied stress relievers is the relaxation response, first described by Harvard's Herbert

Benson, M.D. The beauty of this technique is that it requires no special posture or place. For instance,

if you happen to be stuck in traffic, or if you're having trouble falling asleep you can do it. Here's how:

1. Sit or lay back comfortably. Close your eyes and relax your muscles.

2. Breathe deeply. To make sure that you are breathing deeply, place one hand on your

stomach, the other on your chest. Breathe in slowly through your nose and as you do you

should feel your stomach (not your chest) rise.

3. Slowly exhale. As you do, focus on your breathing.

4. If thoughts begin to interfere don't dwell on them, just allow them to pass and return to

focusing on your breathing.

Although you can turn to this exercise any time you feel stressed, doing it regularly for 10 to 20

minutes at least once a day can put you in a generally calm frame of mind which can get you through

typically stressful situations.

More Healthy ways to Manage stress

o Meditation, yoga, or biofeedback techniques such as brain wave

therapy
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In order to make the most of who we are and what we have, there are certain qualities or

characteristics that assist us in accomplishing that end.

Here are some of the elements of a productive mindset:

Curiosity- The willingness to seek, question, and find answers for new and better ways of

doing something.

Desire or Motivation- Cultivate desire. Without desire ormotivationthere is nothing to

drive us to progress and improve. Inertia is the opposite of desire and a destroyer of progress.

Vision- To be able tovisualizewhat you want helps you focus on it and gives you an idea of

what the outcome would look like. Without that picture in your mind, it would be more difficult

to strive for agoal.We've all read how men of 'great vision' have been able to accomplish the

seemingly impossible.

Critical Thinking- Acquire the ability to assess a situation in an objective manner or to see it

how it really is. Look at the pros and cons and be willing to make the appropriate adjustments.

Self-confidence- The faith and belief that you are fully capable and can do what you set out

to. Withoutself-confidenceand faith you cannot reach yourfull potential.

Persistence- Most things do not come easily. Be willing to overcome obstacles andadversity.Challenge yourself and persist in order to reach your goals. Do not let circumstances, the

opinions of others, or setbacks, thwart your determination to succeed.

Positive attitude or outlook- Your attitude, be it positive or negative, can make, or break,

you. Possessing apositive attitudeallows for any possibility, while a negative one defeats you

before you can even start.

Open-mindedness- There is nothing like anopen-mindfor generating new and innovative

ideas. You become receptive to groundbreaking experiences when you are flexible and open-

minded.

Balance- Ultimately, to function well and get the most from life, we mustmaintain balance.

Working towards goals is important, but we must also take time to rejuvenate and recharge.

Doing too much, or pushing too hard on any one thing, can lead to burnout and frustration.

By integrating the above elements into our though processes, we not only cultivate a productive

mindset, we set ourselves up for reaching ourgoals more effectively,developpositive habitsand we

sharpen our minds to function at high levels.
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