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The 3 C’s of Positive Human Interaction:

Managing Communication,

Conflict & Change

Molly B. Ames - mba7@cornell.eduRuth A. Maltz - Ralice@aol.com

Define

define

Analyze

ImproveCombine alternative generation,

decision making and tactical planning

ControlDMAIC* Approach

*adapted from Six Sigma

Measure

You are Here

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Attributes of Farm Family Businesses

Dynamic integration of the:

Family Business

Living and working together

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Good Communication!

What makes

a good

communicator?

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Tools for Communication

Be positive and respectful Active listening Be inclusive Seek common ground

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Conflict Issues in Farm Family Business

Differences Personality/values/goals

Who is in Charge? Role clarity

Unequal ownership Purse strings/ management

Family and business compete for resources A new piece of equipment or a washing

machine

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Many Farms are Family Businesses

Conflict beliefs shaped by historyIf they shout and insist things be done “Their

way!” The result looks like this:

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Many Farms are Family Businesses continued..

Conflict beliefs shaped by historyIf they stop talking and withdraw in angry

silence The result looks like this:

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I to I: Phases in building interpersonal relationships

Inclusion Control Integration

Who is in and who is out

Influence and power exertion

Make a whole from the sum of the parts

Adapted from the Fundamental Interpersonal Relationship Orientation

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Conflict

People pulling in opposite directions doesn’t have to equal hostility &/or fighting

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Benefits of Conflict

Signal change is needed See problem in a new light Understand another person better Find new and better ways to do things Improve a situation People learn & grow through conflict Provide energy for change

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Downside of Conflict continued

Prolonged conflict injures physical & mental health

Diverts time, money & energy from important goals

Can put individual interest over the organization

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Downside of Conflict continued..

Intense conflict can result in lies & distortion Recurrent conflict decreases productivity Creates distance between people Brings up old history

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Family Dairy Business Case

Mom, Son and 2 daughters run the family business Recently brother-in-law (BIL) started working as herdsman BIL is increasingly difficult to work with: He acts like a “Know It All” He gets combative, bossy or defensive when criticized He holds his position over the other employees.

“If he wasn’t part of the family he wouldn’t be working in this capacity.” Resigning employee said.

“I don’t want to hurt my family but, BIL’s refusal to listen has caused good employees to leave.” the sister’s said

1. Identify the problem(s)2. Steps to improve

Workshop

Activity

Conflict Resolution Basics

If feelings are strong, schedule a time to talk after a brief cooling off period.

Both people need time to focus on the situation without interruptions.

Set ground rules - Take turns (one talks- other listens) Stay on ONE TOPIC, Be respectful of each other.

4. Share information in the form of I see, I feel, I think, I want, I need

5. Negotiate creatively for a win-win strategy15

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Competitive•Win – Lose•Competitive•Negotiation•Demand & Claim All•Suspicious & Closed•Tug of War

Types of Negotiation

Mutual Gains•Seek Win - Win•Agreements•Find Mutual Interests•Trusting & Open•Cooperative

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Change is Part of Life

Businesses can’t survive without change View change as a loss Delay decisions Respond reactively You need luck to survive

For Sale by Owner

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Change is Part of Life continued..

View change as an opportunity Watch for new trends Respond proactively Business thrives

Another Look at Change

What is Resilience?

The ability to bounce back and try again when things don’t turn out as we’ve planned

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Building Resilience

We increase our ability to overcome adversity by coping with life’s

challenges

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Building Resilience continued..

Farmers try to do superhuman things work 24/7

meet tight deadlines

(planting, harvest, breeding)

cope with weather, diseases, & other uncertainties

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Building Resilience continued..

Farmers’ experiences of coping with many crises help them:

develop a sense of personal

mastery

have a positive outlook have a social network of friends and family

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Ways to Increase Resilience

1. Make time for yourself

2. Develop calming method

3. Recognize pros and cons of the job

4. Settle for less than perfect

5. Take care of yourself; set limits

6. Cultivate a support network

7. Explore options & be open to new ideas

Maintaining Resilience

When Do You Need a Mediator?

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• Large gap between positions• Too many issues • Power imbalance between parties.• Trouble finding common interests.• Need help to consider how the other sees the problem• Need help to find common ground.• Need ideas not previously considered

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To-do Back HomeTo-do Back HomePutting 3 Cs Skills to Use

At Family/business Meetings Create organization chart & job descriptions Take a personality test (True Colors,

Personality IQ, etc) Design a compelling vision Use planning process to address upcoming

change proactively Share information openly & respectfully

Resources

Fisher, R, Ury, W.,& Patton, B.( 1991) Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving in ( 2nd Ed.), Penguin Books, and Deetz, S.A., & Stevenson, S.L. (1986)

Heitler,Ph. D., S.M (1990). From Conflict to Resolution, W.W. Norton & Company

Covey, S. (1989) Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, NY: Simon & Schuster

Danes, Sharon M. (1999) Change: Loss, Opportunity and Resilience, University of Minnesota, FO-07421

Billikoph, G., Conflict Management Skills, UC Berkeley, URL http://www.cnr.berkeley.edu/ucce50/ag-labor/7labor/13.htm &http://www.cnr.berkeley.edu/ucce50/ag-labor/7labor/13.pdf

Hutt, G., Milligan, R., Kauffman., Claypoole,E,(1988) Managing For Success Work Group, Farm Management Resource Notebook, Pro Dairy & CCE

Managing Conflict, Purdue Univ., URL http://www2.ctic.purdue.edu/KYW/Brochures/ManangConflict.html

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