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Effective DisciplineA Healthy Approach

When you think of disciplining

What do you think of ?

“Will you guys stop it?” “I’m about to lose my mind!!!!!”

Do you think of ?

Discipline Discipline is the use of methods to teach

children behavior guidelines.

Teaching these guidelines should begin as the child begins to move around.

We Will Discuss:

Discipline and appropriate limits. Styles of parenting and individual

parenting style. Effective discipline techniques.

Positive Discipline:

is guiding and teaching;is done with a child;requires understanding, time, and patience;teaches problem solving and builds a

positive self-image;develops long-term self-control and

cooperation.

Punishment:

is control by fear, power, and coercion;is done to the child;elicits anger, guilt, resentment, and deceit;impairs communication and wholesome

parent-child relationships;stops undesired behavior in the specific

situation temporarily, but behavior often is exhibited in other ways.

Discipline TeachesSelf-controlLimitsBehavior patterns that are acceptable to

society.

It should involve respect, support and

encouragement as well as communication of limits or boundaries.

Effective Discipline

Teaches What to do Problem-solving Appropriate interactions Self-discipline

Promotes growth Enhances self concept Helps children internalize

Effective discipline should be based on:

Love and

Understanding

Why do Kids Misbehave?

Reasons Children Misbehave

Attention PowerRevenge Inadequacy

What can we do?

Develop consequences- be consistent!

Make children accountable for their behavior.

Provide boundaries.Take swift action and do not

waiver.Reject the behavior but love the

child.Nurturing does not mean enabling,

so resist the urge to “fix” everything.

Types of Punishment

Inflicting pain Imposing suffering Enforcing unrelated

penalties Personal or emotional

attacks

Why Punish ?

The misbehavior often stops immediately Children often show remorse during punishment The parent gets to blow off steam The parent feels in control The parent hasn't let the children "get away with it" The parent was raised that way

Activity- Behavior-Response-Perception

Behavior- Child “forgets” to do his chores and goes off to play with his friends (negative)

Parent Response- UNHEALTHY-“You are so irresponsible!”Child’s Perception of Self- “I am bad”Behavior- Child “forgets” to do his chores and

goes off to play with his friends (negative).Parent Response- HEALTHY- “You won’t be going to the scout meeting tonight

because you have to stay home and do the chores you didn’t do this afternoon.”

Child’s Perception of Self- “If I don’t do them, I will have to pay the price. She is giving me the choice.”

Types of Parent/Authority Figures

Authoritarian-Make all decisions for the child.

Permissive-Is a slave to the child

Authoritative-Give the child choices and formulates guidelines with him or her

Authoritarian

“You will do what I tell you to do no matter what.”

Permissive

“ Oh you don’t feel like cleaning your room today? Okay, you can clean it tomorrow.”

Authoritative

“You guys can go to the movies, but you need to be home by 11 o’clock. If you are not home by 11 o’clock there will be consequences. Do you understand?”

Building Relationships with Adolescents

Have home games Let teenagers see your mistakes. Don’t snowplow the roads of life for

teenagers. Listen to your teenagers when they are

ready to talk. Don’t bully teenagers into submission. Expect the best of them. Love and respect your mate and other

adults.

Rewards

Reward the good behavior – don’t only notice the negative behavior.

Be immediate and direct with discipline and rewards – hugs are free!

DO:

• Set good examples and be the role model.• Discipline on the spot-the child may forget why he/she is

being punished.• Use timeout-remove the child from the misbehavior- this

should give them time to think about the misbehavior.• Take away privileges to promote desired behavior-

especially with older children.• Discipline the behavior-not the child!• Consider the child’s age and ability. Exploration is common

for toddlers. • Match the consequence with the crime (misbehavior).

DON’T:• Rely on physical punishment-use it sparingly!• Make threats you cannot keep – older children.• Do not yell – talk to the child and explain why he

or she should or should not do certain things.• Parents should be in agreement about discipline or

not be in disagreement in front of the child.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Be sure that children feel loved—even if you do not “like” them much at the moment.

Respect is a two-way street.Allow children to make appropriate

choices and decisions. Be brave enough to discipline and “pull

the rug out!”

Effective Techniques

Set limitswith rules

Rules are necessary toprotect a child fromdanger and set

examplesof acceptable behavior.

Everyone is moreconfident and

comfortableknowing how to act in anew situation.

Be Consistent!Discipline the same way every time that behavior occurs.

Be Fair! It may vary from one child to another.

Be Firm!Stick to your rules.

Be REAL!!!!!

RESPECT - Respect them for the person that they are. They are little humans.

ENCOURAGE - Always encourage them and communicate your expectations.

AFFIRM - Appreciate them for who they are.

LOVE - Love them by holding them accountable for their actions.

Steps in Positive Discipline

Ignore minor, irritating behavior Praise and reward positive behavior Be specific with praise Work with the child to set basic rules Decide together what consequences will result

from breaking the rules Use consequences consistently and calmly

when rules are broken

Discipline Techniques

Anticipate trouble Give gentle reminders early Offer choices Overlook small annoyances

Discipline Techniques

Fix-up Ignore Be Firm Stay in control

Separation Behavior management Redirection Praise

The trouble with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you

are unemployed.Anonymous