your signature project mindset

Your Signature Project Mindset | www.ianpaulsharp.co.uk | . 1 .

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Copyright © 2014 by Ian Paul Sharp All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause. Cover image courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net / Simon Howden



Contents Introduction 4

1. How to use this book 5 2. What is Life’s Third Act? 6 3. What Defines a ‘Signature Project?’ 8 4. Some Questions About You 11 5. Well-Formed Outcomes 13 6. Getting Past Procrastination 15 7. Relax, Live in the Now, and Shine 17 8. How can my coaching help? 20

Conclusion 22 Appendix 23



Introduction This book is for you now that you are 50+ and knowing that it’s time to finally get what I call your ‘Signature Project’ out into the world. Your Signature Project is a Project (always with a capital ‘P’ in this book - this is not just a ‘normal’ project) that you will find deeply fulfilling. It may be something that you’ve been itching to do for years. It may be something that has felt like a monkey on your back yet you know it is deeply worthwhile, if only you can complete it and get it ‘out there’ where it can make a difference. To me, the Third Act years – when the age counter clicks past 50 – are the ‘put up or shut up’ years. I always had a feeling, even when I were but a lad in my 20s, that I would do my best work in my 50s. While I wasn’t exactly sitting around and waiting to be 50, nor did I see 50 as ‘old’. This book is about your Signature Project, and this is your time to shine. 50+ can be a time of amazing energy, health and creativity. Do you know someone who has decided they are ‘old’ before their time? That’s not you. In fact, you won’t even be old when it is your time. I work with people who recognise they need to take action, and who are in tune (or wanting to get in tune) with their intuition too. While they are grounded they also have a spiritual dimension and know that what they put out into the Universe matters. Whatever you already know there are some new understandings presented in this ebook that will make a real difference to your success. We all have incredible innate abilities. My coaching can bring your innate abilities back to the surface where they can shine. Who are you not to shine? If you’re hesitating now, think forward for a moment. What if, at some point, you end up thinking: “Ah, that idea I had once. That big thing I was going to do. I should have done it. Well, I would have done it, but I was too busy, work was too demanding, and the whole thing just seemed like too much of a challenge. Oh well. Too late now. It could have been great.” Sigh. When you keep reading that’s not going to be you. How much, now, would you like to be the person who sleeps well at night, feeling deeply fulfilled, because you can say: “HELL YES! I DID IT!”



How to use this book Throughout you will find a number of ‘Third Actor Questions’ which you need to think about or take action on. Reading actively is the minimum requirement for beginning the process of getting your Signature Project into the world. Also keep in mind your innate wisdom. You already have all the resources you need, and you may have lost touch with them over the years. That’s okay. As you’ll see, as a coach I no longer subscribe to any one way of thinking about personal change and development – my mission is to bring my unique insights to my coaching and therefore to you. I will, though, be introducing you to both the ‘Three Principles’ of Mind, Consciousness and Thought which were first understood by Sydney Banks, and to neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). I’m not a joiner or a purist. As a coach, I’m at my most effective when I engage with your thoughts and actions and ask you questions, or lead you into discussions, which could be based on any school of thought or none. There may well be ideas from positive psychology, philosophy, spirituality, and elsewhere. When I coach I’m drawing on my more than half-a-century of life, learning and insights. In the end I’m not so bothered about where an idea comes from if it’s one that gets your Project born. Back to Sydney Banks. If there’s one key to creating a successful Signature Project, it’s being able to still your mind: ‘Let your mind be still, for the wisdom you seek is like that butterfly over yonder. If you try to catch it with your intellect, it will simply fly away. On the other hand, if you can still your mind, someday, when you least expect it, it will land in the palm of your hand.’



What is Life’s Third Act? The Third Act begins around the age of 50 and continues until we retire – which may never happen, and not because your allotted time of life is over. I see it like this. From birth to around 25 is the First Act – Beginnings. In that time we grow up, learn fundamental things (as the beginning of a lifetime of learning) probably pass some exams, and begin our first jobs. If we’re lucky we find a career we love and will stay in for a very long time – but anyone who is in their First Act now probably won’t have that length of career because that’s not really the way it works any more. The First Act could also be the time of settling down with a life partner and having children – or perhaps that comes later. Whatever the specific details, it’s all begun. The Second Act is from around 25 – 50. I call this Act Progression. Whatever we’re doing, we’re going further with it – passing advanced qualifications, getting promoted, growing a family … and possibly this is the time you begin to hear a voice in your head … “is this it?” And that question can be the seeds of your Signature Project (I’ll define that in the next section). At this stage it might be something you file away for later or maybe your Signature Project is about your career and you’re just not ready yet. Whatever form it takes, the seed is planted … Now, I’m in my mid-50s. Knowing that there’s 20 – 30 years to go (falling under buses etc. permitting) concentrates the mind. If it helps to focus, think of the Third Act as the Final Act. So, barring a major medical breakthrough, the Third Act is the time when you have to complete your Signature Project. You must make a difference to yourself and others now if you’re ever going to. In your Third Act you may be experiencing all sorts of changes in your life, outside of those you chose to make. Some of those will be happy, others will be sad reminders that our life span is limited. For some people, the Third Act is one that just gradually fades away – the pipe and slippers are worn, all their clothes somehow become beige, and they tell stories about how great life was in a mythical past time. You’re not one of those people. Your Third Act is about living in a way that people will never forget. When I saw The Who live in 1975, they ended their set with a volley of classic songs, then left the stage. No encore, leave us wanting more. Maybe you’ve not even yet written the songs for your Third Act, or maybe you have and you need to work out how to perform them. As I write, Pete Townshend is 69 and Roger Daltrey 70 and they’re still performing. Never use age as a show-stopper. So whether you’ve just turned 50 or are much further



into your Third Act, if you feel a sense of drift, or have that Signature Project you’ve been itching to create still making itself felt, it’s time to act. Third Actor Questions Imagine you’re now 100 and looking back at all you have done since you hit 50. How do you feel? Is your best behind you … or yet to come?



What defines a Signature Project? Perhaps you’re used to being involved in projects at work – the goals are set, a team forms, you meet regularly, and someone keeps track of progress. Eventually you meet for the last time and (ideally) all the goals have been met. A report goes off to the leadership team and something changes as a result of all your hard work … or maybe nothing changes. Later you are kindly invited to join another project, and the cycle begins again. Now let’s think more widely than that: “Somehow, I always thought of my career as a series of projects, not jobs. Projects... things to be invented, funded and shipped. Sometimes they take on a life of their own and last, other times, they flare and fade. But projects, one after the other, mark my career.” - Seth Godin 1

So Godin argues we should always be thinking in terms of projects – your career is a project, especially since we no longer live in an era of job security. Throughout life we’ll be appointed to (or appoint ourselves to) work; we do the work; and, sooner or later, we move on to something else. That ending may be our own choice or it may not be. And, increasingly, we’ll have several projects on the go at once. Arguably, so far, that’s all just about redefining how we work. And this is where it’s time for our thinking to shift up a few gears. My own coach said to me in a recent session: “We do powerful, we don’t do reasonable.” Gears changed, let’s think much bigger now.

The magic lies in THE SIGNATURE PROJECT YOU WERE BORN TO CREATE.

Let’s break that down. I want you to get the maximum amount of juice out of this. Your Signature Project is the work that defines you. Earlier I asked you to look back on your life from the age of 100. Do that again now, and this time ask yourself what you are best known for. What you will be remembered for. It won’t be for sorting out that tricky spreadsheet. Perhaps it will be for the impact you’ve made on your local community, the book you wrote, the business you founded (the business that came from your heart, the one that is authentically you), or your devotion to enabling others to learn better, maybe learning from your experience. Or it may be something else entirely.

1 http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2014/07/thirtyyearsofprojects.html



Your Signature Project could be the work you’ve been wanting to do all of your life but something stopped you. In your Third Act, as we’ve seen, it becomes now or never. I think it’s tragic that so many people get hypnotised by the television – and via that they learn how to be ‘normal’, a member of what Marianne Cantwell 2

calls the Beige Army, and become afraid to stand up and SHINE. And because of that they never really feel fulfilled and never make a difference. Of course, the quiet life is fine if that’s what you really want – but please never ‘settle’ if that’s really what you do not want. And the ‘born to create’ part? Now, feel free to disagree, but my understanding is that we all have an innate purpose – something that our life is really, deep down, all about. Deeply fulfilled people recognise that innate purpose early on and are able to live their lives always in touch with it. Others know it is there but bury it. From time-to-time it shouts “I’m still here, let me know as soon as you have time for me” but that time doesn’t ever seem to arrive. Until now? Oh, and the magic? The original meaning of ‘magic’ is ‘transformation’. Unless your Project is to become a stage magician (nothing wrong with that if it is!) you’ll be interested in how your Project enables transformation - yours, and that of everyone who is touched by the work you are doing. It was when I connected my ideas about innate purpose to the space that opens up when we’re in our Third Act that I was able to begin my own Signature Project. Sometimes we just need to join the dots. The great thing about a Signature Project is that it could take many different forms. You might be in a senior position and can see how to really make a difference in your organisation now. Space may have opened up in your thinking because you’ve retired or reduced your working hours. Perhaps you recognise you have a Signature Project within you but it has not yet shown itself in a way you can action. This is a golden age for connecting and gathering your Signature Project team around you. The internet makes assembling your team easier than ever before. Although I sometimes refer to my Third Age Tribe as ‘elders’ I mean that in terms of the wisdom we all have. If you want to drive me nuts, place on of those ‘internet for silver surfers’ books in front of me. The internet was made for Third Actors.

2 ‘Free Range Human’ Marianne Cantwell



Third Actor Questions If you haven’t yet defined your Signature Project, what is it? This is where you tell me you don’t know. Fair enough. So the question is – what would your Signature Project be if you did know? Remember it can be anything – this is just between you and me. And if you feel as if you’re dreaming, dream bigger. If you’ve already started on your Signature Project, what is the next step you need to take? And how will you know when you have fully created it and it’s done? What will it look, feel and sound like? Who will be experiencing it; how will it make a difference?



Some Questions About You Ask yourself now: Who am I? What am I? Where am I? Naturally, coaching is about you. I have my own coach who gets me thinking deeply about me. It’s worth taking stock and thinking deeply about you. What does being ‘you’ really mean? That’s a tricky question to find a way into. So here’s one of my favourite exercises from NLP which, at the very least, will open the door to your thinking about this. Imagine that, tomorrow, you need to take a day off from being you. Perhaps you’re ill (nothing serious – but you won’t be around to fulfil your duties as you.) Being you is one of those jobs that has to be done. We need to show up in the world so, as you’re absent, someone has to be assigned to carry out all of your duties. I’ve volunteered for the job. Now, I can’t just wake up tomorrow and be you. I’m going to need some instructions. Although you could tell me about all the tasks you have to do tomorrow, that’s not really the point. I want to know how to be you on the inside. I need to know how you think and feel and the influence those thoughts and feelings have on your behaviour. For example, when I wake up tomorrow morning, do I immediately feel good about the day ahead, do I feel anxious about it, or somewhere in between? And so on through the day. When do I feel happy and how do I know I’m happy? Am I looking at large, bright, full colour, vibrant pictures on my internal cinema screen, for example? If I need to feel anxious, how do I know it’s time and how do I do that for you? How focused am I? Do I have goals and outcomes to meet? Do I experience stress if I might miss a target or I feel over-worked? What else do I need to know to be you for the day? The value in this exercise is in really going deep. Don’t just tell me to be happy at the prospect of lunch, tell me how I know I’m happy. Where do I feel it? Because then I can really be you. Why is this important? Because – stepping out of this thought experiment now – if I was coaching you I would need to know what makes you tick; and fundamentally makes you tick.



Even if you’re not yet ready to commit to having a coach, this thought experiment allows you to begin (or continue) fully to get to know yourself. It’s only when you fully know yourself that you can do your best work. And if you’re really going to deliver the Signature Project you were born to create, you need a little self-analysis to discover what makes you tick. There are no Third Actor Questions for this section – the thought experiment was more than enough. It’s time to begin.



WellFormed Outcomes In essence, there are two schools of thought when it comes to setting goals. Fully to bring your Signature Project into being you’re going to call on both methods. You’re probably familiar with SMART goals, as these are the ones most frequently used in business. A SMART goal is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound. I suggest you write your own SMART goals for your Signature Project. Here’s an example to get you started. This is a goal I could set for Third Act Coaching: “By December 2014, to have 500 members of the Third Act Tribe.” Do you agree that ticks all of the SMART boxes? You might not be able to comment on how Achievable this is because you’re not in possession of all the information you would need about my business. It is clearly specific, measurable, realistic (perhaps too conservative) and time-bound. Have you heard about the research that was carried out at Stanford University in the US? Apparently, learners who set goals were far more likely to gain their degrees than those who did not, thus proving the power of goal setting. It’s amazing what you can learn from the internet. Exept … it’s a myth. It never happened. There is power in goal setting and it is one of the techniques most coaches use, but at the same time it’s no where near the be-all and end-all of creating a successful Signature Project. NLP has a technique called ‘well-formed outcomes’ which goes through a sequence of stages for the setting of clear goals. The stages are:

1. Set the goal. 2. State it positively. 3. Identify what is most important. 4. Make the goal sensory specific (what does it look, feel and sound like?) 5. Make the goal self-started and self-maintained (what is the first step?

And the next? What is needed to keep going? What needs to be in place for each step to be taken?)

6. Set a timescale. 7. Establish the context (when does the goal apply? Is it purely

work-related or does it apply to your life too?) 8. Maintain positive by-products of the current situation (perhaps you

love any aspects of your work and life and you don’t want your Signature Project to over-ride those, however precious it is to you).

9. Check for ‘ecology’ issues: as I wrote earlier, you need to be clear about the affect of your Signature Project on others. Say, for example, your Signature Project meant being away from your family much more than you are now, is that okay? With you? Have you checked if it’s okay with them?)



On first sight this seems much more complicated than writing even a set of SMART goals. It is, in as much that you really have to feel your well-formed outcomes, and look at them from several different angles. And the outcomes will be magical in their transformative effect. Third Actor Questions … more accurately, a thought experiment It’s magic wand time. If your Signature Project isn’t very clearly defined yet (and it will be worth completing this experiment even if it is) imagine floating into your future and seeing your Signature Project in existence. See it complete, exactly as it would be in a perfect universe. What resources – financial, emotional, physical and the like – did you have to draw upon to bring it into being? It doesn’t matter if, right now, you have no idea where these resources will come from. Because that’s the second part of this experiment. Now, what is your current reality? What resources do you have, right now, that will get your Signature Project flying? Which resources, honestly, do you lack? How will you obtain them? Aim for the stars. Not, as you may have heard, to hit the moon. To reach the stars. And, first, you need to construct a launch pad out of your current reality. Remember the words of my coach: “We do powerful, we don’t do reasonable.”



Getting Past Procrastination In my experience, one of the reasons we procrastinate is because we don’t want to wake from our dream. After all, if we have a beautiful dream about how perfect our Signature Project will be, one day, then it’s almost more exciting to leave the project untouched and leave it in the world of dreams than to begin. Beginning could mean changes and challenges. If a Signature Project is worth doing it will stretch us. The magic lives outside of our comfort zone. What if we find the new (un)comfort zone is an exceptionally challenging place to be (because it will be?!) Clearly, if your Signature Project is ever to exist outside of your mind, the work needs to be done. In our Third Act of life we still have plenty of time which is running out. Tomorrow will never arrive. So let’s go now. Seth Godin talks about the ‘lizard brain’. That’s the thinking that sabotages you. “Who are you to do this?” “It’ll never work.” “You’re wasting money.” “You’re wasting time.” “It’s been done before.” When we let the lizard rule us we get paralysed. We could find reasons for not getting out of bed in the morning if we wanted to. Your Signature Project is unique. It’s only yours. We need you to lead us. Is what you are leading totally original? Almost certainly not. And that doesn’t matter in the slightest, because what the world needs is your voice, your leadership, your insights. No-one else can be you, not even me on your day off. We can all create stories. Great leaders tell vivid stories we can connect with. Yet sometimes the stories we tell ourselves harm us - stop us in our tracks. Imagine if your Signature Project never saw the light of day because of the story you were telling yourself - eeeek! Write yourself a better story with exactly the ending you would wish to read. Or as Byron Katie asks in ‘The Work’ - who would you be without your story? 3

Sometimes we procrastinate because we think we’re not ready. Just a little more research, a bit more thinking, when the economy is doing better … then I’ll be ready. Really?

3 http://www.thework.com



Ready - aim - fire? Fire when we are 100% ready? When everything is perfect? When will that be? What if your alarm rings before your dream is complete (and even if there’s no alarm, a dream is still a dream). Ready - fire - aim? Better. Fine tune afterwards. Assuming we declared ourselves to be ready in the first place. Assuming the dream reaches your conscious waking mind, and that you have taken sufficient action on it to have anything to fire. Fire - ready - aim? Hell Yes. Go for it, start. Don’t be a perfectionist. It’s okay to fail. Fire, see if your Project is ready, what it hits and where it lands. Not quite right? Not anywhere near right? Fire again. As many times as it takes. When Thomas Eddison was struggling to perfect the electric lightbulb, he wouldn’t give up or think that he had failed: “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” “Experiment. Risk. Making your life an experiment is where freedom lies.” ~ Brian Johnson, creator of ‘Philosopher’s Notes’. 4

One way forward is to experiment with the way you use language. Stop telling yourself you should be doing something - there’s nothing you should do. There’s plenty we could do. What do you chose to do today? Doing what you should do means putting yourself in a place of guilt. Chose language of freedom - you could do that couldn’t you? Of course, your voice is your voice. It’s not my role as a coach to change your language. I can’t anyway, and I wouldn’t impose it even if I could, because your Signature Project needs you to show up as the authentic YOU. Still procrastinating? Next time your hear yourself thinking “I’ll do it later” play forward along your timeline until it is ‘later’ and you’ve still not taken the action you need to take. How do you feel? I mean, really, how do you feel? Because you cannot get back the time you didn’t spend working on your Signature Project. Ever. If that thought makes you feel bad - good. Next time you have that manana feeling, you could take action today.

4 https://www.entheos.com/philosophersnotes



Relax, Live in the Now, and Shine “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson, ‘A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"’ Your Signature Project means a lot to you. Done right, to the max, with no compromise and no settling for anything less than doing the best work you’ve ever done, it will the work that defines you. Anything meaning that much to us can produce feelings of being nervous, stressed, and anxious. All the best public speakers, sportspeople, musicians - anyone doing work that matters to them, and especially if they are doing it in public - will tell you that they day they do not feel almost, or actually are, physically sick, is the day they retire. So if you’re feeling - at the very least - apprehensive - now, that is how it should be. Yet you don’t want to be so anxious that it paralyses you. While the extra flood of adrenaline when you think about and work on your project is a good thing, that only applies if you overcome that feeling and can get your work completed and out into the world where it is needed. So it’s time to learn how to relax. You’re seeking what Chade-Meng Tan calls the 5

‘Golilocks Zone’ - as he puts it, if the strings on a sitar are too tight, they break easily, but if they are too loose, they cannot produce beautiful notes. A great way of learning how to relax is to practice mindfulness - “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judegementally” . 6

While introducing you fully to mindfulness is outside of the scope of this ebook (there will be much more in the full-length version, which is my current project) I’m happy to recommend two books that will show you the path: ‘The Mindfulness Manifesto’ and ‘Mindfulness’ . Both books contain exercises which will allow you to relax deeply and easily, and full details are in the further reading section at the end of this ebook. As we’ve discovered together, being somewhat nervous is good for you and natural when the work you are doing matters to you. and being able to properly, deeply, relax is a way of being you must learn for your Signature Project to be successful.

5 ‘Search Inside Yourself’ 6 Jon KobatZim, ‘Search Inside Yourself’, p.20



Live in the Now - it’s all Thought In my experience the best way to bring your best self fully to your work is to be fully present - always. Eckhart Tolle wrote a great book about ways of achieving this called ‘The Power of Now’. It’s about accepting that the past is over (unless you chose to think about it) and the future will never exist. All we have is NOW. In this moment, and this moment, and the moments between the moments … this is the NOW moment. There it went. You may think about this as being in the zone or in a state of flow. Labels and descriptions don’t matter. Living in the now does. As with many of the ideas presented here, to live in the now is deceptively simple. How hard can it be? A way of starting is to bring yourself back to the present moment whenever you notice your mind wandering. Don’t give yourself a hard time, just notice afresh where you are and what you are doing Now. That’s all you need to do. Of course your Signature Project will need planning and that means taking yourself out of the Now. Or does it? Remember this is about being fully present in whatever you are doing. It’s fine to be thinking about your Project and the meeting you have to attend next Friday to progress it so long as you are fully present when you are thinking about that, and not drifting off into a daydream or considering the lovely restaurant you’ll have dinner at after the meeting. By the way, daydreams and light trance states are a great part of planning and thinking and even being fully present too as they can open up new ways of thinking. This is slippery stuff. That’s why these ideas always form part of my group coaching events and deep coaching conversations. So … SHINE And to shine: Relax - however you can best relax. Take some time to learn some relaxation techniques if you need to. Live in the Now - be in the zone, go with the flow, however you can best do that. Again, be open to learning. Just SHINE - because, honestly, the world needs your insights. My mission is to serve. I hope this book has made a difference to you and to your Signature Project. When will we see it in the world? If you and your Signature Project resonate with me I’d love to coach you. Full details of how you can apply are at the end of this book.



Third Actor Questions Who are you to serve your community, your tribe, your organisation, with your Signature Project? Who are you not to? How present are you in this moment right now? If you’re absent, where are you? When are you coming back?



How can my coaching help? When engaged in something as important as your Signature Project, it’s possible to be too close to it. That can mean not having the clarity that’s needed to see what needs to be done – and it can mean feeling paralysed. When something matters that much, it can be easier to not take action – to never be fully committed – because if nothing happens nothing can go wrong. To paraphrase Mark Twain, if you have safe harbour you can’t get caught in a storm. That’s a lovely safe feeling, but your Signature Project will never get out into the world when moored in the harbour. Hiring a coach will bring all sorts of benefits. As you’re reading this you’re probably aware of at least some of them. So let’s go further. How will you benefit from bringing my unique insights to your Signature Project? Now, there’s no way of providing a definitive answer to that question. We will agree on how we will work together and that agreement is different for every individual that I coach. You will, though, be hiring me when you need a gentle, insightful yet fearless coach who will be the difference that makes the difference you and your Signature Project need. So, just as a taster, here’s 14 differences I will make, tools I will provide and insights I will bring. Some will be relevant to your and your Signature Project. Others won’t be. That’s cool because you and I will agree on the other input your project needs.

● Bring definition to your Signature Project ● Define what a successful Signature Project looks and feels like to you ● Connect you to your innate thinking ● Ask the tough questions to get to the real answers ● Be both an inspiration to you and be inspired by you ● Make connections with others ● Discover any new skills you need for your Signature Project, and how

you can acquire them ● Bring a range of resources from my inner toolkit that will move you

towards results ● Always be there for you – in the ‘formal’ coaching sessions, and in

between those sessions too ● Give you a metaphorical kick when necessary (actual violence is outside

of my remit and my values!) ● Celebrate your successes and reframe setbacks ● Check in with you that your Signature Project sits well with your

partner, family and colleagues ● Share my own stories, wisdom and unique - some say maverick -

perspectives on life. ● ‘Outsider clarity’ – I probably won’t be an expert in your field and

that’s a good thing as I sometimes ask the ‘dumb’ questions that still need answering.



I don’t identify with any one specific coaching model. If you’ve previously consulted any textbooks or websites about life or business coaching, you will have read about several different coaching models e.g. GROW, NLP, CLEAR, Inner Game, Solution Focused. I’ll use some of those techniques where appropriate. More often you will experience our coaching sessions as conversational, with a little good old-fashioned goal setting thrown in when that will bring results. I identify as a ‘Third Act Coach’ rather than a life, business, transformative or other kind of coach not only because my focus is on coaching people aged 50+ but because over the many years I’ve been coaching and training I’ve learned many systems, processes and had many insights. My aim is to use any or all of those to coach my clients successfully. During your initial coaching session I’ll gain a picture of who you are and how best to coach you to get results. I’m flexible and intuitive enough to move between systems and models as necessary. Now it would only be honest to say I have my preferences. I’m highly qualified in NLP so naturally there are some tools from there I’ll use to a greater or lesser extent. As I wrote earlier I’m increasingly finding that the understandings of the Three Principles of Mind, Consciousness and Thought make an amazing difference to my own understanding of life. In summary: I use what is right for you. Period. Third Actor Questions Have another look at the list of 14 differences my coaching will bring to your Signature Project. What else would you want from your coach? Are you, deep down, feeling that at 50+ you have nothing left to prove – and so afraid you may become boring? Is routine, lack of fulfilment, and feeling that your best days are behind you driving you crazy? What if the ‘outsider clarity’ of a coach could change that? Do you feel annoyed, frustrated, stuck, guilty, angry, worried or stressed about your life now? Would you say ‘Hell Yes” to a solution? Then we need to talk: www.ianpaulsharp.co.uk and apply for your free Coaching Discovery session.




Conclusion All good writers are taught to write a concluding section, to pull together all that has gone before. Perhaps I’ll do that when the full-length book based on this one emerges, I don’t know yet. So why a section headed ‘conclusion that’s not a conclusion? I have an aversion to playing by the rules. Recently I’ve been described as a ‘maverick’ and that’s a badge I’m happy to wear (also, by the way, I regard the word ‘hippy’ as a complement not an insult). So I do what’s necessary for my clients. All else is filler. As close to a conclusion I’m going to get is this: another powerful coaching question. Deep, powerful, fearless coaching will do far more than get your Signature Project born and into the world. Your thinking will change (not least as you recognise the nature of reality - is that we create the world from the inside out) and your changed thinking will introduce other changes to your life too. So ask yourself this: What is missing from my life and how am I keeping it out? And one last thought about your Signature Project. Please don’t end up in your bath chair, reflecting on your life, and thinking “I should have done it but …” Don’t end up saying “I would have done it if it wasn’t for …” End up knowing HELL YES! I DID IT - and knowing what a positive difference you have made in the world. Until we meet. Namaste, Ian



Appendix Here’s how you can keep in touch with me, connect more deeply, and when you have 10/10 commitment to your Signature Project, engage me as your coach. Because I want you to fully experience the power of deep coaching, and for us to discover the synergy we could have, I invite you to apply for a free Coaching Discovery session - just complete a short form at www.ianpaulsharp.co.uk and I’ll respond within 24 hours. While visiting do sign up for the Third Act Tribe - you may well have received this ebook because you are already a member - it will always be free, and you will receive inspiration by email plus exclusive videos, articles, and an invitation to be a part of my free Google Hangout interview series. Join by going to www.ianpaulsharp.co.uk/third-act-tribe. I frequently run group coaching and speaking events: small groups gathering around a specific theme during which you will both benefit from the power of coaching and the support of a group of like-minded people coming together for a specific purpose. To get details of my latest schedule, and to book, go to www.ianpaulsharp.co.uk/groupcoaching. Finally, let’s connect on social media: Twitter www.twitter.com/its_iansharp (@its_iansharp) Facebook Page www.facebook.com/thirdactcoaching Facebook Personal www.facebook.com/ianpaulsharp LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/ianpaulsharp Pinterest www.pinterest.com/ianpaulsharp Google+ www.plus.google.com/+iansharp21



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Acknowledgements This ebook and the associated coaching practice, website and other contributions I am serving with are the result of 55 years (and, Universe willing, counting) of living and learning. Lifelong learning is not only educational theory - it’s a big part of what makes us human. So thank to all of my teachers over the years. In particular I have been inspired by the following; while I haven’t met them all in person, I have engaged with their approach to life on a deep level: Dr. Richard Bandler, Paul McKenna, Michael Neill, Nick Williams, Sydney Banks, Byron Katie, Sir Ken Robinson, George Harrison, Peter Gabriel, Prof. Stuart Hall, Marianne Williamson, Eckhart Tolle, Seth Godin, Deepak Chopra and Tony Robbins. My own coach Jennifer Beaumont-Whyte has kept me on the path. Every coach must have a coach. And none of the above would have had any impact on me at all without my life partner Jane. Thank you for everything, every day. Further reading ‘The Mindful Manifesto’ Dr Jonty Heaversedge & Ed Halliwell, Hay House 2010 ‘Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World’ Mark Williams & Danny Penman, Piatkus 2011 ‘Supercoach: 10 Secrets to Transform Anyone’s Life’ Michael Neill, Hay House 2009 ‘Search Inside Yourself: Increase Productivity, Creativity and Happiness’ Chade-Meng Tan, Collins 2012 ‘The Ultimate Introduction to NLP: How to Build a Successful Life’ Richard Bandler, Alessio Roberti & Owen Fitzpatrick, Harper Collins 2012 ‘The Power of Now’ Eckhart Tolle, Hodder 2011 ‘Be a Free Range Human’ Marianne Cantwell, KoganPage 2013



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