8/22/2019 Your Comprehensive Guide to FPL 2013/2014

1/2

Your comprehensive whos who guide to the Top FPL players of 2013.

2/1fav Dadoune- A mysterious character with a proven track record of success. Expect a top 200

finish as long as overuse of the word Dad in the forum doesnt lead to an arrest for incest.

9/4 Zophar. Always there or thereabouts, Zophars name is synonymous with the leaderboard.Only one question remainsWho the fuck is he?

7/2 Gargamel- Sweden's favourite rotund Brolin-a-like is often a slow starter, but make no mistake

he will be a contender for top spot. Famed for his incessant "LOL@" celebration and flair pick

Scandinavian nature.

4/1 Alan "Rumps" Parsons- Love him or hate him there's no doubting that at least 5 of the

hedgehog fancier's 200 fpl teams will make the top 500 places. A solid outside bet for top spot if he

avoid being banned or murdered by Cully.

4/1 Cully- His knowledge of MLS soccer is second to only Sarah Palin. But don't let that fool you. He

is a sure bet for top 2k unless Rumps successfully trolls him into a suicide attempt.

10/1 Frank. Seasoned professional with a weakness for Bratwurst and Zumba. MIA since April 2013.

20/1 Gabriel liukhan Mshiu- His name may sound like you someone just snotted on you, but make

no mistake his fpl record is nothing to sneeze at. If he can avoid jail for fraudulent phone calls

disguised as a Nigerian prince then he has a real shot at the leaderboard.

33/1 Daniel Y U SAY THT GUBB Curtis- There arent enough adjectives to describe Dan, and most

of the ones we would choose would most likely lead to a ban. Anyhow, he certainly knows his stuff,

and assuming the regs league isnt deleted Id expect him to finish inside the top 5k.

66/1 Falvey- After a strong finish in 2011/2012 Falvey lost his way in 2012/2013. Rumours of a

downward spiral casused by vodka, curling, puberty and are all as yet unconfirmed.

66/1 Gubbins- Outstanding, Inspirational, Knowledgable, Suave, Intelligent, are 5 words not

associated with Gubbins. But make no mistake, only a misguided love affair with McShane will stop

him re-entering the top 20k (or Falveys mum at the very least).

100/1 Khurram XRay ooooo cheddar Dog Longi If oooos were points then XRay would have fpl

won by the end of August. Sadly they arent, and Ol XRay is more likely to be knee dip in hits andactress clunge than fpl prizes.

100/1 RVPP- New to the league last year RVPP made a big stir with a strong finish in rank. Expect him

to do the same this year unless mummy takes the computer off him.

100/1 Aditya - Famed for his love of Simon Cox and curry, but make no mistake Aditya is capable of

cooking up a decent title challenge. If hes in and around the top 10k by Christmas then expect him

to slam the TukTuk into top gear for a strong finish.

100/1 Applebonkers- A fpl enigma and a quiz night enema AB clearly is a different breed. As

unpredictable as Troy Deeneys feet. A dangerous floater.

8/22/2019 Your Comprehensive Guide to FPL 2013/2014

2/2

100/1 Kris Du Plessis- Kris had a strong start to 2012/2013 but after a couple of bad cap weeks

mysteriously disappeared from all public leagues. Hopefully this clear IT glitch hasnt destroyed his

entire fpl history.

100/1 Pablo Frank Butcher Discobar- This cheeky cockney would sell his nan for fpl points, in fact,

its quite possible he did last year after rising from nowhere to a decent finish. However two things

are certain. (1) He will take more hits than Rihanna (2) He will be involved in some rule-twisting

controversy.

500/1 Col Up until last year you could put your coat on Col for a top 20k finish. The 2012/2013

season however didnt go so well and Col is rumoured to have hit the burgers hard. Get well soon

Col.

500/1 Kirt- What Kirt doesnt know about footballwell.is quite a lot. But what Kirt doesnt know

about football he more than makes up for in random drunken abuse. A reasonable outside bet, but

dont put your carpet on it.

1000/1 Khalid KK Khatib- The UAEs favourite Jacuzzi-dwelling puntster will be the one to watch

this year. Not in terms of a high fpl finish, mainly just for the LOLs. His boyish charms and generally

upbeat schoolboy demeanor would be endearing to even the sternest of characters. Expect at least

5 LOLcaps this season from the Middle Easts prodigal son.