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Your Adolescent and You Establishing a healthy relationship with your adolescent

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Page 1: Your Adolescent and You - University Hospitals · Your Adolescent and You Establishing a healthy relationship ... The most effective parenting ... boundaries of this safe zone and

Your Adolescent and You

Establishing a healthy relationship

with your adolescent

Page 2: Your Adolescent and You - University Hospitals · Your Adolescent and You Establishing a healthy relationship ... The most effective parenting ... boundaries of this safe zone and

Carolyn E. Ievers-Landis, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Developmental Behavioral Pediatrics & PsychologyUniversity Hospitals Rainbow Babies & Children’s Hospital

Research has proven that adolescents whose parents

set and enforce rules are more likely to make good

decisions on everything from regular seat belt use

and safe driving, to refraining from drug and alcohol

use and delaying sex. The most effective parenting

style is an authoritative one – meaning that parents

should use firm limits, but set them with a great deal

of warmth.

Involving adolescents in the development of rules and

consequences can help them embrace boundaries

without feeling overly controlled. Opting for a

democratic style when at all possible, and asking

adolescents to voice their opinions about parental

limits is strongly recommended. However, parents

ultimately have the final say and, sometimes, the best

you can do is agree to disagree.

Adolescents need space to fully develop and continue

the process of exploring who they are within a “safe

zone.” Rules and limits set by parents create the

boundaries of this safe zone and let adolescents

know what is expected of them. A lack of parental

limitations is detrimental because adolescent brains

are still actively developing, particularly in the

areas responsible for such functions as self-control,

judgment, emotions and organization.

Page 3: Your Adolescent and You - University Hospitals · Your Adolescent and You Establishing a healthy relationship ... The most effective parenting ... boundaries of this safe zone and

How can parents most effectively set limits for adolescents?

• One strategy is “Picking Your Battles,” just as you did when they were in the “Terrible Twos.”

• “Pick Your Battles” by figuring out which rules/limits are negotiable versus non-negotiable.

• For example, homework has to be done every day, but when it is done may be the source of some discussion with your adolescents.

• Household chores are a must, but deciding which chores adolescents are typically responsible for may be negotiated with parents; maybe your adolescent does not mind kitchen tasks, but detests cleaning bathrooms.

• Some limits, such as wearing seat belts in the car, are non-negotiable and are NOT up for discussion.

• Remember to use warmth and humor when setting limits, often verbally praising your adolescents for good choices they make each day.

• Finally, provide plenty of physical affection in a manner with which your adolescents are comfortable (i.e., a pat on the back versus a big hug), because every child is different.

Rules and limits help adolescents feel safe and secure at a very uncertain time in their lives. They also give adolescents an easy out by giving them someone to blame when faced with an uncomfortable situation and potential bad decision.

After all, who can argue with, “I can’t do that. If my parents find out, they will ground me for the rest of my life!”

Page 4: Your Adolescent and You - University Hospitals · Your Adolescent and You Establishing a healthy relationship ... The most effective parenting ... boundaries of this safe zone and

About the Child Development Center

The Child Development Center at UH Rainbow Babies & Children’s Hospital provides behavioral health services for children and adolescents experiencing anxiety, sleep difficulties, and other behavioral and emotional problems. Whether it is a simple adjustment issue or a complex behavioral problem, our multidisciplinary team of highly qualified, compassionate pediatric specialists has the expertise to help children and their families achieve – and sustain – healthy, balanced lives.

The Child Development Center features:

Developmental Behavioral Pediatrics: Evaluation and medical management of developmental behavioral disorders, such as developmental delay, autism spectrum disorders (ASD), ADHD, Down syndrome and other genetic disabilities, and associated behavioral problems.

Pediatric Psychology: Psychological evaluation and treatment of behavioral and anxiety-based problems, including feeding problems and emotional issues relating to separation or loss, history of trauma, chronic physical illness and adherence to medical regimens. Cognitive-behavioral strategies, hypnosis and biofeedback may be used to manage sleep disorders, bedwetting, chronic pain, habit problems, pseudo seizures and conversion disorders.

Pediatric Neuropsychology: Assessment of children with learning disabilities and school-related problems resulting from ADHD, ASD, head injuries, neurological conditions, genetic disorders, cochlear implants, or cancer and other chronic physical conditions. Comprehensive assessment of the child’s neurocognitive, behavioral and learning abilities, including closely working with the child, parents and teachers to establish a plan to address learning needs.

Page 5: Your Adolescent and You - University Hospitals · Your Adolescent and You Establishing a healthy relationship ... The most effective parenting ... boundaries of this safe zone and

Developmental Behavioral Pediatricians

Nancy Roizen, MDDivision Chief and Child Development Center DirectorProfessor, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine

Denise Bothe, MDAssistant Professor, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine

Jane Holan, MDAssistant Professor, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine

Shanna Kralovic, DOAssistant Professor, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine

Pediatric Psychologists

Howard Hall III, PhD, PsyDAssociate Professor, Case Western ReserveUniversity School of Medicine

Rebecca Hazen, PhDAssistant Professor, Case Western ReserveUniversity School of Medicine

Page 6: Your Adolescent and You - University Hospitals · Your Adolescent and You Establishing a healthy relationship ... The most effective parenting ... boundaries of this safe zone and

Pediatric Psychologists (continued)

Carolyn Ievers-Landis, PhDAssociate Professor, Case Western ReserveUniversity School of Medicine

Kristine Rork, PhDAssistant Professor, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine

Pediatric Neuropsychologists

Christine Barry, PhDAssociate Professor, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine

Susan Bowen, PhDAssistant Professor, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine

Rachel Tangen, PhDAssistant Professor, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine

H. Gerry Taylor, PhDProfessor, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine

Page 7: Your Adolescent and You - University Hospitals · Your Adolescent and You Establishing a healthy relationship ... The most effective parenting ... boundaries of this safe zone and

Locations

UH Rainbow Babies & Children’s Hospital11100 Euclid Avenue Cleveland, OH 44106

W.O. Walker Center10524 Euclid AvenueCleveland, OH 44106

UH Landerbrook Health Center5850 Landerbrook DriveMayfield Heights, OH 44124

UH Westlake Health Center960 Clague RoadWestlake, OH 44145

UH Medina Health Center4001 Carrick DriveMedina, OH 44256

UH Twinsburg Health Center8819 Commons BoulevardTwinsburg, OH 44087

For more information, call the Division of Developmental

Behavioral Pediatrics & Psychology at 216-844-3230.

To schedule an appointment, call 216-UH4-KIDS (216-844-5437)

or request an appointment online at RainbowBabies.org.

Page 8: Your Adolescent and You - University Hospitals · Your Adolescent and You Establishing a healthy relationship ... The most effective parenting ... boundaries of this safe zone and

There’s only one Rainbow.

216-UH4-KIDS (216-844-5437) | RainbowBabies.org

Facebook.com/UHRainbowBabies | Twitter.com/UHRainbowBabies

© 2012 University Hospitals RBC 00579