You Can’t Escape from a Prison If You Don’t Know You’re In OneWhat is Blocking Your Freedom?

Alena Chapmann

@ 2015 Alena Carrie Chapman All rights reserved.Real Life Resources, LLC

Published byHasmark Publishing1-888-402-0027 ext 101

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy-ing, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, except as provided by copyright law.

DisclaimerThe author has done her best to present accurate and up-to-date in-formation in this book, but cannot guarantee that the information is correct or will suit your particular situation. Further, the publisher has used its best efforts in preparing this book, and the information provided herein is provided “as is.”

Copy Edits by Nancy Crowe, njcrowe@yahoo mail.comCover design by Patti Knoles, virtualgraphicartsdepartment.comBook layout by DocUmeant Designs, documeantdesigns.com

First Edition, 2015ISBN13: 978-1502884213 (CreateSpace Assigned) ISBN10: 1502884216

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Dedication

I dedicate this book to all the silent voices looking for something more. May this book bring you strength, courage, and beauty, and lead you to sing loud and clear the joy of your life. Break out of your prison and have the life you desire and deserve.

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Contents

Dedication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . iiiForeword . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . viiAcknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ixIntroduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xiChapter 1: To See With Open Eyes: Awareness . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1Chapter 2: What Are They Doing To Me? Being a Victim . . . . 8Chapter 3: It is Time to Discover You! Meditation . . . . . . . . . 15Chapter 4: Changes are Coming: Transition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21Chapter 5: What a Truly Wonderful World We Live In!

The Art of Being Grateful . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30Chapter 6: A Little Something Special . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38Chapter 7: Unload Your Burdens: Forgiveness. . . . . . . . . . . . . 44Chapter 8: You Can Only Take Care of Your Own Circle:

Responsibility . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55Chapter 9: Now I See Me and Now I Don’t: Self-Esteem . . . . 63Chapter 10: Freedom to Love Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75Chapter 11: It Makes You Sing: Desire . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85Chapter 12: What You Think Is What You Will Become:

Thought . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94

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Chapter 13: Your Reality: Visualization . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102Chapter 14: Live Free! Letting Go . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113About the Author . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123Quote & Poem Index . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135

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Foreword

Do you realize that you, I, and everyone else on this planet are swimming in an ocean of infinite possibility? At every moment, we are surrounded by opportunities for wealth, health, happiness, success—anything and everything we want in life.Unfortunately, very few people do realize this. Even fewer act on that realization.When I first met Alena Chapman, she had a fire in her belly and a big dream. It was almost as if she’d heard the extraordinary oppor-tunities and possibilities knocking at her door, threw it open, and said to them emphatically and without hesitation, “YES!” She knew she knew.The book you are holding in your hands right now is the mani-festation of the dream Alena shared with me that day. And it is a stunner.The fact is, we are physically freer than we have been at any time in history. We can drive across town in minutes . . . fly halfway around the world in just a few hours . . . send messages to people virtu-ally anywhere on earth that they receive in a heartbeat. And yet the most important freedom of all—inner freedom, the freedom to imagine and create the life one truly wants—is in dangerously short supply in most peoples’ mind.Alena calls it a prison. She is absolutely right. And what she offers within these pages are thoughts, ideas, and truths powerful enough to smash through the greatest obstacles to that freedom. I’ve

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witnessed it countless times, in countless lives, including my own. The truth is, the freedom to design your life exactly the way you envision it is NOT in short supply and is available to anyone who dares dream.Alena Chapman has done the world a phenomenal service by delving deeply into her journey from self-imposed imprisonment to true freedom; by reflecting on the lessons she learned through the course of that journey; and by sharing those lessons with such courage and purpose. It is an honor and privilege to lend my voice to what I know will have people worldwide proclaiming the virtues and life-changing power of this wonderful book.Absorb the wisdom and insight Alena reveals in the pages that fol-low. Follow the suggestions she puts forth to the letter, and you will do so much more than tear down the walls of whatever prison you find yourself in today. You will discover the power to build a life with the most spectacular and limitless view you can imagine. A life you are totally and completely in love with and one that is deserving of you.

Bob Proctor, Bestselling author of You Were Born Rich

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Acknowledgments

I offer sincere thanks to:Bob Proctor for his guidance and support in making my desire my reality.Peggy McColl for her guidance and always finding time to help me during my new journey.Judy O’Beirn of Hasmark, the Hasmark team, and Nancy Crowe for helping me create this book and bring these special tools to millions.My family and friends for their love, support, and keeping me real.All of you who are ready to say, “Enough is enough,” and are ready for your dreams to be fulfilled.

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Introduction

When does a person realize they are in a prison? When do we real-ize that all our unhappiness is because we feel stuck, unable to find our way out? When do we become complacent about being stuck in the way we live our lives? How did we get there?Driving down the street of a nice family oriented neighborhood, you see a beautiful two-story home. Out front happy children are playing with the family dog. The yard is well groomed with color-ful gardens. You imagine that they have a great job, are happy and successful. You imagine that this family hasn’t a care in the world. They are living the American dream. But what if not everything is as it seems? That behind the wall of this beautiful two story home lies a stressful marriage; a wife who cannot be who her husband wants her to be and feelings of anger, confusion, and hurt were an everyday occurrence. Within these walls are conflicting feelings—choosing between being and saying what is really felt and doing what was expected by others on a daily basis. Very few can imagine the isolated feeling that who you are as a person is not accepted. This was my prison and it was time for me to escape. So many people live a life they don’t want to live. I cannot begin to tell you how many people have told me they “hate their lives.” They do not seem to see that they are free to change their circum-stances. Instead they silence their voices and choose to go through the motions, feeling unhappy and sometimes turning to alcohol or drugs. Anything to deaden the frustration, anger, or hurt or fill the void in the situations they feel they must endure.

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I remember when I realized I was living in a prison. I had to pull my car over to the side of a country road and cry. At first I wasn’t even sure why, except I was very unhappy. I felt stuck. My marriage was past the point of being saved. My spouse seemed unhappy with who I was as a person and wife. I had become so frustrated and confused trying to be someone I was not. I felt like I was living in a twilight zone. Nothing I tried was saving my marriage; if anything, it seemed to make things worse. I lived in my prison for one year after my realization before I had the strength to say, “Enough is enough. I need to be free.” During that year, I had started to work on me and what was important for me to be happier, and what was better for my family. Many people endure these prisons, some until they die. Some peo-ple leave one prison to jump right into another. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to love your life, to love you? How would it feel to be more confident, know your pur-pose, be more aware of your situation, and feel in control of yourself and where you are headed in your life. Yes, you can feel empowered.Close your eyes for a second. Relax, breathe deeply, and try to imagine. Imagine feeling strong and happy, free from your prison, and best of all, having inner peace. How does that feel? Did your muscles start to relax a little? Did you smile? It is very possible. What if I told you that leaving your prison is simply mindfully walking through the door into a happier life? What if I said you have the power to change your life? No one else has control over you or your life. What would you say? Have you had enough? Are you truly ready to create the life you want?When I decided I’d had enough—actually I felt I was saving myself—I found wonderful people and events entering my life to guide me into living the life I wanted to live. I moved from frustra-tion, mourning, hurt, and feeling like a victim to understanding, responding, and having confidence. I also learned that I have the opportunity to make life what I want it to be. It is not only my future, but a bright, shining future!

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It takes knowing you don’t want to live in a prison anymore. It takes knowing you can have a better life, a life you want to wake up to every day. There are people who love their lives. Every day is a new joy. They see every blessing and opportunity to better their lives even more. They always seem happy and would never think of staying in a situ-ation that did not bring them what they need to create the life they want to live. This is the person I decided to become. This is the life every one of us deserves. So what is stopping us?I invite you to read, learn, and imagine being a person who feels empowered, believing in yourself, stronger, compassionate, and ready to overcome your prison. I invite you to create the life you want to live, to be the person you truly know you are supposed to be. And most important, I invite you to be happy. I am not offering you a fairytale. It does take time and looking within for the answers. Sometimes it is easy and sometimes it is hard, but the rewards are worth the journey. I am offering you a way to control your world. You, and only you, can control the way you view and respond to any challenge. Knowing where you are now and where you want to be is the start. Understanding how to get there and what is holding you back is the key. It is learning that our perception of ourselves and our world can move mountains. It is believing.Are you ready to walk out of your prison? Are you ready to learn about yourself and what you want your life to be? Are you ready to start living the life you want? If you are ready to say enough is enough, then it is time to learn about the power you have inside you. It is time to walk out of your prison.Most of all you will come to realize, if you don’t already, that you have your own light to shine, your own wants and desires. You are stronger than you ever knew. And your special light never needs to be smothered. In fact, you owe it to yourself and your family to let it shine bright as ever and feel free.

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We gain strength and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop and look fear

in the face . . . we must do that which we think we cannot. —Eleanor Roosevelt

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To See With Open Eyes: Awareness

My awareness of my situation, or as I often refer to it, the Twilight Zone, came crashing onto me as I sat crying in my car on the side of a country road. Before this reality crisis, I had been trying to fix an unfixable marriage. If only I was more accommodating or did everything better—better mom, better wife, and better home-maker. When being better did not work, I became the silent rebel. I thought if it was known in a nonaggressive way that I had my own opinions and desires, I would be accepted and loved for who I was. When this failed to work, communication was a disaster and living in the same house together created enough negative energy to heat the universe, I cried. Many people go through life unhappy, not knowing why. Some even go past the unhappy stage to numbness. They simply go through the motions of their life feeling nothing. They become silent voices. Thus nothing changes except feelings of emptiness. I cannot begin to tell you how often I hear from people in their late twenties to early forties, “I hate my life.” When I suggest they should change whatever they are not happy with in their lives, ninety-five

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percent of the time they reply they can’t. Then they list excuses why changing their lives is impossible. Sandy has said more times than not how she hates her life. She is not happy with her marriage and her very boring job. When I sug-gest to her to try a new field of work or a marriage counselor, she simply says, “That will not work.” Instead of choosing to change something to better her life, she has chosen to start drinking at 9:30 in the morning, hiding the alcohol in a coffee cup at work. Why do we stay in our prisons? Why do we create our prisons? Often when you finally realize you must change your life, family and friends will rush to provide you with all the reasons why you can’t change. When I had the courage to leave my situation and file for a divorce, I had friends and family—and even the marriage counselor who said there really wasn’t any hope—suddenly list thousands of reasons why I should stay where I was lost and very unhappy. Realizing we are not living the life we want is the first step. The sec-ond step is to not accept the reasons why it has to stay that way. Yes, I realize the reasons sound logical, but look at the results. Is this the result you want—enduring a situation that makes you miserable? Though I knew it was time for me to make a change, enough was enough, I still heard all the voices of friends and family in my head. No matter how many reasons why I should stay were presented to me, I knew I needed to take control of me and create a better situ-ation, a better life. I was not going to allow myself to feel lost and confused. Although I did not want to end my marriage, I knew it would be worse to stay than to start my own life alone. To change a situation you are not happy living with takes knowing that staying in the situation is worse than starting something new. I think everyone must know, deep down inside, there is something better. Life is a gift and has a reason. We have a purpose. So why do we waste precious time not fulfilling our purpose or being happy?

To See With Open Eyes: Awareness

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Does it make sense? Why do we want to stay in our prisons?One reason people choose to stay is that they don’t know anything better or they feel they deserve the situation. Many people who live with abuse seem to fall under this type of reasoning. I know a per-son named Janet. She has been living with Bill for three years. Bill has abused Janet mentally, emotionally, and physically. Janet has left him three times; however, she always returns to him. You might ask why a woman who isn’t even married would return to such a man and a situation that brings her pain on every level. If you look into Janet’s history, you would see an abusive mother. Her mother continues to abuse her mentally and emotionally even though she lives four states away. Although Janet has seen other people in healthy, happy relationships and knows there is another way to live, she doesn’t feel she deserves it. People who have escaped this type of situation find a way to change their belief system, or the paradigm that says they deserve to live with abuse. Or something happens that breaks through paradigm and causes them to say, “Enough is enough.” That is when they gain the strength to break out of their prison and change their situation. A second reason people stay in an unhappy life is fear of the criti-cism of others. To make a major change takes listening inside your-self to what you know is right and turning off what you know is not right for you. Friends and family are quick to claim you are crazy, believing it is in your best interest.Dan was working at a well-paying office job, but he could not shake the dream of writing a series of war novels. He knew that being an author was his purpose and working in an office job was wasting his time. So he started to write after work, at lunch, and at any free moment he found. In seven months he had one book completed. He published it online and found it sold pretty well. He knew if he could publish another soon, it would also sell, but he could not get a book out quickly while working all day at his office job. Dan made the decision to quit his job and write full time. Friends and fam-ily thought he was crazy. “How could you quit a nice job like that

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one?” they would say. Dan would not listen. He was happy. He had saved enough money to be able to take the time to write. The sec-ond book was out in four months. Sales of both of his books went really well. When his third book was published, all of his books sold well and he had a following of readers for his new series. He even had an offer to start a cartoon series. By following his dream and not listening to the criticism of well-meaning people, he now had the life he loved. He was fulfilling what he knew was his pur-pose and enjoyed every day of his life. The third reason I find that people stay in unhappy situations is they have no idea what their purpose is or what would bring them happiness. Instead of looking within themselves for the answer, they stay in their situations, growing silent inside and numb. People need to take the time and interest to look within and dis-cover who they truly are and what brings them joy. I have seen people on this search. I was one of them. It does take a little time, but the reward of happiness is well worth the wait. You must have the awareness that there is more to life or that you are unhappy with your situation you’re in. You have picked this book to read for a reason. You are on the journey to something better. I congratulate you.No one was put on this earth for the purpose of living in a situation that makes them miserable. On the contrary, we were born to be happy. You need to have the courage to break through and live it. Come with me and I will show you how.

To See With Open Eyes: Awareness

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Take Time To Focus:1. Get yourself a journal or a pad of paper. It can be your work-

book to help discover you. Start by describing your life situa-tion. Write it as objectively as you can. This can help you look at all the facts. Then write why you feel you are stuck or in a prison.

2. Become aware of when you are happy. Where are you and what is happening when you are happy? What are you happiest doing? Write what is making you happy and why. How often do you get to do things that make you happy?

3. Sign the affirmation on the next page when you are ready. There is an affirmation after each chapter. You sign it when you are ready to take the step or learn the lesson each chapter presents. The affirmation is a promise you are making to yourself, so sign it only when you are ready. Read it every morning and night.

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5Z°faUh]cbI,___________________________________, as of (insert your name) __________________ have decided that (insert date)

enough is enough. I will no longer endure a life I am not

happy living. I deserve to be happy. From this point on I

will take the steps and learn the lessons I need to break

free from my prison and gain my freedom. It is my life

and I want to live it. n

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A strong, successful man is not a victim of hisenvironment. He creates favorable conditions. Hisown inherent force and energy compel things to turn out as he desires. —Orison Swett Marden

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What Are They Doing To Me? Being a Victim

We live in an age of victimhood. If anything goes wrong in our lives, it is because of someone or something else. It is always hap-pening to us. We are never at fault. If we are fat, it is because of fast-food restaurants and not because we eat too much. If we are always stressed, it is because everyone and everything is too demanding of our time. It is not because we have to learn to manage our time or not allow people to fill up our time. It is never our fault. We are the victims. Being a victim allows us to say, “Look what they did to me. Because of them, I am feeling unhappy.” Victim implies weakness, not responsible, and needing sympathy. Playing the victim will sap your energy. It will not empower you to make a positive change in yourself or your life. It will, however, drag you down.How do we get ourselves out of the victim role? I have one word for you: responsibility. There is a poem by William Ernest Henley I read every morning and every night. It empowers me and reminds me I am in control of me.

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What Are They Doing To Me?Being a Victim

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“InvictusOut of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,I thank whatever gods may beFor my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstanceI have not winced nor cried aloud.Under the bludgeonings of chanceMy head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tearsLooms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the yearsFinds, and shall find, me unafraid.It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul.”I am the master of my fate. You are the master of your fate. We are responsible for what paths we choose to take. We are responsible for who and what we allow into our lives. No one else is the master of our lives. No one else chooses our fate. I am the captain of my soul. I alone know who my true self is. I know my true desires and only I can make my soul’s desires a phys-ical reality. We are all captains of our souls. It takes responsibility to own our fate. It is our responsibility to listen to our souls, our desires and our purpose. It is our respon-sibility to make the choices to create the lives we want to live. It is our responsibility to own our mistakes. Mistakes are not bad.