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HAI KOI JAWAAB ??

If it's zero degrees outside today, and it is supposedto be twice ascold

tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

*Why is it called building when it is already built?

*If pro is the opposite of con, is progress theopposite of congress?

*Is it possible to be totally partial?

*If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it asuccess?

*If all the world is a stage where is the audience

sitting?

*If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren'tpeople fromHollandcalled Holes?

*Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoyadultery?

*When cheese gets its picture taken what does it say?

*If horrific means to make horrible, does terrificmean to maketerrible?

*Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

*If lawyers are debarred and clergymen defrocked,doesn't it followthatelectricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,cowboys deranged,modelsdeposed, dry cleaners depressed?, plumbers decocked ?*Why is it if someone tells y! ou there are 1 billionstars in the

universe, you will believe them but ifthey tell you a wall has wet paint you will have totouch it to besure?

*Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

*I thought how people seem to read the Bible a wholelot more as they

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getolder, then it dawned on me ....they are crammingfor their finalexams.

GOT ANY ????

------------------------------------------------------------------

Scientific answers to Na Tum Jano Na Hum

kyon chalti hai pawan

because of evoporation

kyon jhoome hai gagan

because of earth's revolution

kyon machalta hai mann

because of eccessive respiration

na tum janno na hum

but i just gave all the answers

kyon aati hai bahar

because of change in season

kyon lutata hai kaarar

becuase of mental tension

kyon hota hai pyaarbecause of fatal attraction

na tum janno na hum

like i said these are all science phenomena

kyon gum hai har disha

because u have lost the sense of direction

kyon hota hai nasha

because of drug addiction

kyon aata hai maaza

but science gives all the information

dont think you have fallen in love ........its sheer gravitation.....

cheers.....

jeet....

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------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS TESTS YOUR MOUSEFOR CLICK ACCURACY ....DRAG THE MOON AND STAR

OVER TO THE SMILEY FACE

ZStop fucking around and get on with your work!J

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>>>All true....

>>>>Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.>>>>John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

>>>>Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.>>>>John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

>>>>Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.>>>>Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

>>>>Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.>>>>Both Presidents were shot in the head.

>>>>Now it gets really weird.

>>>>Lincoln's Secretary was named Kennedy.>>>>Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

>>>>Both were assassinated by Southerners.>>>>Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

>>>>Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.>>>>Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

>>>>John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.>>>>Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

>>>>Both assassins were known by their three names.>>>>Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

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>>>>Now hang on to your seat.

>>>>Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'>>>>Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'

>>>>Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a>>>>warehouse.>>>>Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in>>>>a theater.

>>>>Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

>>>>And here's the kicker...

>>>>A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland

>>>>A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

>>>>Creepy huh?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

YI LUV YEWY

I got your back

You got mine,I'll help you out

Anytime.

To see you hurt

To see you cry,

Makes me weep

And wanna die.

And if you agree

To never fight,It wouldn't matter

Who's wrong or right.

If a broken heart

Needs a mend,

I'll be right there

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To the end.

If your cheeks are wet

From drops of tears,

Don't you worry,

Let go of your fears.

Hand in hand

Love is sent,

We'll be friends

Till the end

*Send this to whoever you consider a friend.

*You are now loved by this chain letter!

*You have to send this to 5 people in the next 5 minutes... or

you will have

bad luck in love for 5 years

If YoU sEnD ThIs To:

*5 people- You will find the guy/gurl of your dreams!

*10 people- The guy/gurl of your dreams will ask u out!

*15 people- You will date him/her for a long long time!

*20 people- You will marry him/her

**YOU BETTER SEND THIS BACK 2 ME**

---------------------------------------

------------

The problems with GIRLS:

If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with her;

If u Don't, she says u are PROUD.

If u DRESS Nicely, she says u are trying to LURE her;>If u Don't, she

says u are from CHENNAI

If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN;>If u keep QUIET,! she

says u have no BRAINS.

If u are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;

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If she's Smarter than u, she is

GREAT.

If u don't Love her, she tries to POSSESS u;

If u Love her, she will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)

If u don't make love with her., she says! u don't Love her;

If u do!! she says u are CHEAP.

If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are TROUBLESOME;

If u don't, she says that u don't TRUST her.

If u SCOLD her, u are like a CHACHA to her;

If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be

TRUSTED;

If she BREAKS hers, she is FORCED to do so.

If u SMOKE, u are BAD BOY;

If she SMOKES, she is a GENTLELADY.

If u do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK;

If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.

If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;

If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!

& sooo hard to please!!!!!>

If u send this to girls, they will swear that it's not true....... butif

u don't, they say u are selfish.....

The moral of the story is.......SEND THIS TO GIRLS OUT THERE ANYWAY...

Send it to boys also, gives them some laughter ...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how

are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restrooms at a rest stop but, I

don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassedly: "Doin Just

Fine!"

And the other guy says: "So what are you up too?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:

"Uhhh I'm like you, just traveling east!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another

question.

Can I come over to your place after while?

Ok, this question is just wacky but i figured I could just be polite and end the

conversation.

I tell him, "Well, I have company over so today is a bad day for me!"

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Then I hear the guy say nervously...

"LISTEN"

I'll have to call you back,

there's an idiot in the other stall who keeps

answering all my questions,

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------

READ ALONE.....ESPECIALLY THE

LAST PART Around the corner I have

a friend, In this great city that has

no end, Yet the days go by and weeks

rush on, And before I know it, a year

is gone. And I never see my old

friends face, For life is a swift and

terrible race, He knows I like him just

as well, As in the days when I ranghis bell. And he rang mine if, we were

younger then, And now we are busy,

tired men. Tired of playing a foolish

game, Tired of trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim"

"Just to show that I'm thinking ofhim." But tomorrow comes and

tomorrow goes, And distance between

us grows and grows. Around the corner!

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yet miles away, "Here's a telegram

sir" "Jim died today." And that's what

we get and deserve in the end. Around

the corner, a vanished friend.

Remember to always say what you

mean. If you love or likesomeone, tell

them. Don't be afraid to express

yourself. Reach out and tell someone

what they mean to you. Because when

you decide that it is the right time itmight be too late. Seize the day.

Never have regrets. And most

importantly, stay close to your friends

and family, for they have helped make

you the person that you are today.

You must send this on in 3 hours afterreading the letter to 10 different

people. If you do this, you will receive

unbelievably good luck in love n life.

The person that you are most

attracted to will soon return your

feelings. If you do not, bad luck willrear it's ugly head at you. THIS IS

NOT A JOKE!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Sorry, but this chain letter is for real, I got it the first time, and I

ignored it and a week later and the love of my life for 6-months dumped

me for no good reason so beware, and just send the stupid letter!!!!!!

The Lovers of the Heart

In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug to promote

to whom we please but one kiss.

Article 1 : Statement of Love: The Kiss1. Kiss on the hand.... I adore you

2. Kiss on the cheek... I just want to be friends3. Kiss on the neck... I want you

4. Kiss on the lips... I love you

5. Kiss on the ears... I am just playing (i hate that)

6. Kiss anywhere else ... lets not get carried away

7. Look in your eyes ... kiss me

8. Playing with your hair... I can't live without you

9. Hand on your waist... I love you to much to let you go

Article 2: The Three Steps1. Girls: If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him2. Guys: If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good! ;! ; ! ! 3. Guy and Girls: Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare

Article 3: The Commandments1. Thou shall not squeeze to hard.

2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, just give one or take one.

3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.

**Remember**A peach is a peach

A plum is a plum,

A kiss isn't a kiss without some tongue

so open up your mouth,

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close your eyes,

and give your tongue some exercise!!!

WELL here's a few reasons why guys like girls...1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder

3. How cute they look when they sleep

4. the ease in which they fit into our arms

5. the way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world6. How cute they are when they eat

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end makes it all worth while

8. because they are always warm even when its minus 30 out side

9. the way they look good no matter what they wear

10. the way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's themost beautiful thing on this earth11. How cute they are when they argue

12. the way her hand always finds yours

13. the way they smile

14. the way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later you

will be arguing about something

16. the way they kiss when you do something nice for them

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you'18. Actually ... ! ! ju! ! st the way they kiss you...

19. the way they fall into your arms when they cry20. then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt . (even though we don't admit it)!

23. the way they say "I miss you"24. the way you miss them

25. the way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her

anymore.....Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you

would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were tothe world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the

depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound,you know that

your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We lovethem for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of

theheart.

This is a love chain letter. In 5 days you are supposed to send it to

25 people.It is easy, just look into chat rooms and find them. Anyway, send

it to 25 people in 5 days. Now here comes the fun part. You then say the

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name

of the person you like or love and then the person will say "I love you," or

"Will you go out with me?" NO JOKE!!!!!

! N! ow! ! the consequences:The consequences are: If you break the chain letter, you will have bad

luck in future relationships. If you don't break the chain, then you will

be a happy camper!!!

Congratulations! You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST

and the LUCKIEST chain letter on theInternet! Once read, this letter

must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the hour) be sent to 10 people.

After you send it,make a wish and it will come true in the amount of

time of days, as the time.For example, if you sent it @ 8:00, your wish will come true in eight

YOU MAY NOT WAIT FOR A CERTAIN TIME TO SEND IT........

REMEMBER, IT MUST BE SENT WITHIN 5 DAYS, OR YOUR WISH

WILL NOT COME TRUE! PLEASE CONTINUE IT NOW!!!

*WARNING*

IF YOU DO NOT PASS THIS ON, SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN

TO YOU

* NOTE*

THE MORE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO THE MORE LUCK YOU WILL

HAVE IN YOUR LOVE LIFE. IF YOU BREAK THE CHAIN LETTER (IT

HAS BEEN GOING SINCE 1887) YOU WILL HAVE BAD LUCK WITH

YOUR LOVE LIFE FOR SEVEN YEARS. THIS IS NO

JOKE.

GOOD LUCK!

Here's the catch .....if you email it to ::::

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0 people -- nothing too bad will happen?1-11 people -- you will get a happy surprise!12-21 people -- someone that likes you will come out and tell you22-31 people -- someone that likes you will ask you out

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------

YOU KNOW WHAT....@@@@ EVERY MORNING@

@@@@ I PRAY TO GOD@@@@@@ ABOUT U@@@@@ THAT EVERYONE SHOULD GET A FRIEND LIKE

U@@ Becozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz@@

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@ ........@@

@@@@@@@@

@ ........@@@@@@

@@@@ ........@@@@@@ ........@@@

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@@@

@@@@ ........@@@@

WHY SHOULD I ONLY SUFFER!!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A LETTER FROM GOD

As you got up this morning, I watched you, and hoped you would talkto me,even if it was just a few words, asking my opinion or thanking me forsomething good that happened in your life yesterday. But I noticed youwere

too busy, trying to find the right outfit to wear.

When you ran around the house getting ready, I knew there would be afewminutes for you to stop and say hello, but you were to busy. At onepointyou had to wait fifteen minutes with nothing to do except sit in a chair.Then I saw you spring to your feet. I thought you wanted to talk to me

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butyou ran to the phone and called a friend to get the latest gossipinstead.I watched patiently all day long. With all our activities I guess you were

too busy to say anything to me.

I noticed that before lunch you looked around, maybe you feltembarrassedto talk to me,that is why you didn't bow your head. You glanced threeorfour tables over and you noticed some of your friends talking to mebrieflybefore they ate, but you didn't. That's okay. There is still more timeleft, and I hope that you will talk to me yet.

You went home and it seems as if you had lots of things to do. After afewof them were done, you turned on the TV. I don't know if you like TV ornot, just about anything goes there and you spend a lot of time eachday infront of it not thinking about anything, just enjoying the show. I waitedpatiently again as you watched the TV and ate your meal, but againyoudidn't talk to me.

Bedtime I guess you felt too tired. After you said goodnight to your

familyyou plopped into bed and fell asleep in no time. That's okay becauseyoumay not realize that I am always there for you.. I've gotpatience, morethan you will ever know. I even want to teach you how to bepatient withothers as well.

I love you so much that I wait everyday for a nod, prayer orthought, or a

thankful part of your heart. It is hard to have a one-sidedconversation.

Well, you are getting up once again. Once again I will wait, withnothingbut love for you. Hoping that today you will give me some time. Have aniceday!

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Your friend, GOD

PS - Do you have enough time to send this to another person? This isthe

simplest test .. . .if you Love God, and are not ashamed of allthemarvelous things he has done for you, send this to ten people andtheperson who sent it to you!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his sonon a trip to the country with the firm purpose ofshowing his son how poor people can be.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm ofwhat would be considered a very poor family. On theirreturn from their trip, the Father asked his son, "Howwas the trip?""It was great, Dad.""Did you see how poor people can be?" the fatherasked. "Oh Yeah" said the son."So what did you learn from the trip?" asked thefather.

The son answered, "I saw thatWe have one dog and they had four.We have pool that reaches to the middle of our gardenand they have a creek that has no end.We have imported lanterns in our garden and they havethe stars at night.Our boundary reaches to the front yard and they havethe whole horizon.We have a small piece of land to live on and they havefields that go beyond our sight.We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.We buy our food, but they grow theirs.We have walls around our property to protect us, they

have friends to protect them."With this the boy'sfather was speechless.Then his son added, "Thanks dad for showing me howpoor we are."

Too many times we forget what we have and concentrateon what we don't have.What is one person's worthlessobject is another's prize possession. It is all basedon one's perspective.Makes you wonder what would

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happen if we all gave thanks for all the bounty wehave, instead of worrying about wanting more.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Friends> > > > Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates is sharing> > > > his fortune. If you ignore this you will repent later. Microsoft> > > > and AOL ar e now the largest Internet companies and in an effort> > > > to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used> > > > program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.> > > >> > > > When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will

> > > > track it (if you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time> > > > period.> > > >> > > > For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will> > > > pay you $245.00, for every person that you sent it to that> > > > forwards it on,> > >> > > > Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that> > > > receives it, you will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft> > > > will contact you for your address and then send you a cheque.> > > >

> > > > Regards.> > > > Charles S. Bailey> > > > General Manager Field Operations> > > > 1-800-842-2332 Ext. 1085 or 904-245-1085 or RNX 292-1085 Charle> > > > s_Bailey@csx.com > > > >> > > >> > > >> > > > I thought this was a scam myself, but two weeks after receiving> > > > this e-mail and forwarding it on, Microsoft contacted me for my> > > > address and

> > >> > > > within days,> > > > I received a cheque for US$24,800.00. You need to respond before> > > > the beta testing is over. If anyone can afford this Bill Gates is> > > > the man.> > > >> > > > It's all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many> > > > people as possible. You are bound to get at least US$10,000.00.

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> > > > We'! re not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test> > > > without getting a little something for our time. My brother's> > > > girlfriend got> > >in> > > > on

> > > > this a few months ago. When I went to visit him for the Baylor/UT> > >game.> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > > She showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was> > > > stamped "Paid In Fu ll".> > > >> > > > Like I said before, I know the law, and this is for real> > > >> > > > Intel and AOL are now discussing a merger which would make them

> > > > the largest Internet company and in an effort make sure that AOL> > > > remains the most widely used program, Intel and AOL are running an> > > > e-mail beta test.> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > > When you forward this e-mail to friends, Intel can and will track> > > > it (if you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time> > > > period.> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > > For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will> > > > pay you $203.15. For every person that you sent it to that> > > > forwards it on,> > >> > > > Microsoft will pay> > > > you $156.29> > > > And for every third person that receives it, you will be paid> > > > $17.65. Within two weeks, Intel will contact you for your address> > > > and then> > >send> > > > you> > > > a check.> > > > I thought this was a scam myself, but a friend of my good friend's> > >Aunt> > > > Patricia, who works at Intel, actually got a check of $4,54323 by> > > > forwarding this e-mail.> > > >> > > > Try it; what have you got to lose????

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> > > >> >

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------

Hi there, Keep sending and keep in touch.....ujju

THE WORST HIJACKING

We shall never know the identity of the man who in 1976 made the most

unsuccessful hijack attempt ever. On a flight across America, he rose

from his seat, drew gun and took the stewardess hostage. "Take me to

Detroit," he demanded. "We're already going to Detroit," she replied.

"Oh ... good," he said, and sat down again.

THE WORST BANK ROBBERY

In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of

Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors. They

had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone,

sheepishly left the building. A few minutes later they returned andannounced their intention of robbing the bank, but none of the staff

believed them. When they demanded 5,000 pounds in cash, the head

cashier laughed at them, convinced that it was a practical joke. Then

one of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor clutching

his ankle. The other two tried to make their getaway, but got trapped

in the revolving doors again.

THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE

During the firemen's strike of1978, the British Army had taken over

emergency fire fighting and on 14 January they were called out by an

elderly lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become

trapped up a tree. They arrived with impressive haste and soon

discharged their duty. So grateful was the lady that she invited themall in for tea. Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they

ran over the cat and killed it!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 - Live to relax!

2 - Love your bed, it is your temple!

3 - Relax in the day, so that you can sleep at night!

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4 - Work is holy, so don't attack it!

5 - Don't do something tomorrow, that you can do the day afterwards!

6- Work as little as possible. Let the others do what needs to be done!

7 - Don't worry, nobody died from doing nothing, but you could get hurt

at work!

8- If you feel like doing work, sit down and wait until that feelinggoes away!

9 - Don't forget: working is healthy! So leave it for the sick

people!

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

http://www.celebvault.com/pitters/Default.htm

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep. At least 15 people in this

world love you in some way. The only reason someone would ever hate you is becausethey want to be just like you. There are at least 2 people in this world that would die foryou. You mean the world to someone. Someone that you dont even know exists lovesyou. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. When youthink the world has turned its back on you, take a look again. Always remember thecompliments you received. Forget the rude remarks. Ok , wish you all the best.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man wearing a mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shot gun. "Open thesafe!" he yells at the girl behind the counter.

"But we're not a real bank" replies the girl. "This is a sperm bank, wedon't hold money".

"Don't argue just open the safe or I'll blow your head off!" She obliges and

opens the safe door.

"Take one of the bottles and drink it!"

"But it's full of sperm" the girl replies nervously.

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"Don't argue, just drink it" he says.

She prys off the cap and gulps it down.

"Take out another one and drink it too!" he demands.

The girl drinks another one.

Suddenly the guy pulls off the mask and to the girl's amazement it's her

husband.......

"Not that damn difficult, is it?" he says.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi there,

A Sardar, his wife with son and daughter went to a party.. he introduced

>his

>family to his friends saying.." I am Sardar.. and this is Sardarnee ...

>this is my kid and that is my kidney...!!"

>

>

>

>

>

>Sardar 2 Salesman.. "I want pink curtain for my PC screen"

>Salesman " But computers dont need curtains"

>Sardar "Oye.. I have Windows installed..."

>

>

>

>

>

>American says "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."

>Sardarji " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

>

>

>

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>

>Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?

>A. Moti-vating..!!!

>

>

>

>

>

>Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye.."

>Sardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main use surprise doonga..!"

>

>

>>

>

>Dr Chopra psychotherapist wanted 'Sign board' to be pained in front of his

>clinic but our Sardar painter painted "Dr Chorpa Psycho The Rapist"

>

>

>

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This one is really hilarious!..

A young Indian guy moves to Montreal and goes toa big department store looking for a job. The managerasks, "Do you have any sales experience?"The kid, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home". Well,the manager liked the young man, so he gave him the

job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after weclose and see how you did, but let me give you a bitof advice. If a customer comes looking, say, for

toothpaste, you might suggest for him a toothbrush,or shaving cream etc. you get the idea?" "Of course,"the young man said.

His first day on the job was rough but he got throughit. After the store was locked up, the manager camedown. "How many sales did you make today?The kid says, "One"

The manager groans, "Just one? Our sales people

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average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the salefor?" The kid says, "$101,237.64."The manager exclaims, "What? $ 101,237.64? What didyou sell him?"

The kid, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then Isold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a largerfishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then Iasked him where he was going fishing, and he said downat the coast, so I told him he was going to need aboat, so we went down to the boat department, and Isold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said hedidn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I Tookhim down to the automotive department and sold himthat 4X4 Pajero."

The manager says "You mean a guy came in here to buya fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?!"

The kid, "No, no, no, he came in here to buy a box of

Kotex for his wife and I said, "Well, since yourweekend's already screwed up,you might as well gofishing."-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Equation:7 Glance = 1 Smile7 Smile = 1 Meeting7 Meeting = 1 Kiss7 Kisses = 1 Proposal7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -

And that 1 Bloody marriage has 7777777777777 Problems. So beware of glance!-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Plan For Future:Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Exams:

Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;1,Too Many Questions.2,Difficult to Understand.3,More Explanation is Needed.4,Result is always FAIL!-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three Feelings:Q: What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

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A: Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are

pregnant.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chinese Adam & Eve:

If adam and Eve were Chinese we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and

eaten the snake.

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Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."Priest: "What have you done my child ?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch ?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."Priest: "Like this ?" (As he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."Priest: "Thats no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."Priest: "Like this ?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."Priest: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes,

father." Priest: "Like this ?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."Priest: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you knowwhere."Priest: "Like this ?" (as he stuck his you know what into heryouknow where)

Girl: "Yes father."Priest: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he pumped me fast and furious..."Priest: The priest pumps her fast and says "Thats no reason tocallhim a son of a bitch."

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Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER !!!"Priest: (after a few minutes): "Ahh... Thats no reason to callhim ason of a bitch."

Girl: "But father he had AIDS !"Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH !!!"----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The professor of a university challenged his studentswith this

question. "Did God create everything that exists?" A

student answered

bravely, "Yes, he did".

The professor then asked, "If God created

everything, then he created

evil. Since evil exists (as noticed by our ownactions), so God is

evil. The student couldn't respond to that

statement causing the

professor to conclude that he had "proved" that

"belief in God" was a

fairy tale, and therefore worthless.

Another student raised his hand and asked the

professor, "May I pose a

question? " "Of course" answered the professor.

The young student stood up and asked : "Professor

does Cold exists?"

The professor answered, "What kind of question is

that?...Of course

the cold exists... haven't you ever been cold?"

The young student answered, "In fact sir, Cold

does not exist.

According to the laws of Physics, what we

consider cold, in fact is

the absence of heat. Anything is able to bestudied as long as it

transmits energy (heat). Absolute Zero is the

total absence of heat,

but cold does not exist. What we have done is

create a term to

describe how we feel if we don't have body heat

or we are not hot."

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"And, does Dark exist?", he continued. The

professor answered "Of

course". This time the student responded, "Again

you're wrong,Sir.

Darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in

fact simply the absence

of light. Light can be studied, darkness can not.

Darkness cannot be

broken down. A simple ray of light tears the

darkness and illuminates

the surface where the light beam finishes. Dark

is a term that we

humans have created to describe what happens when

there's lack of

light."

Finally, the student asked the professor, "Sir,

does evil exist?" The

professor replied, "Of course it exists, as Imentioned at the

beginning, we see violations, crimes and violence

anywhere in the

world, and those things are evil."

The student responded, "Sir, Evil does not exist.

Just as in the

previous cases, Evil is a term which man has

created to describe the

result of the absence of God's presence in the

hearts of man.

After this, the professor bowed down his head,

and didn't answer back.

The young man's name was ALBERT EINSTEIN.

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Laloo, Rabri and their son were returning from south by train.

Laloo was occupying the lower berth, Rabri

the middle berth and his son the topmost berth in thetrain compartment.

The train stopped at one of the stations on the way

back and the son asked Laloo to bring him a Cadburys

chocolate.

When Laloo and his son returned they found that a

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South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had

occupied his son's berth. Upset and angry, Laloo

called the Ticket checker & asked him to help.

The Ticket checker said that he could not understand

Hindi so it would be nice if Laloo explained the

wholesituation to him in English.

Laloo explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife

is not giving birth to my child."

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