‘YES…BUT’ Technique (Interpersonal)

Theme: Agreeing to the other person but negating him later.

Example: I want that statement prepared today itself.

You: Yes Sir. I understand its urgency; but right now I am halfway through with a monthly statement; As soon as it is completed, I will take up your job and definitely prepare your statement tomorrow.

‘SANDWICH’ Technique (Interpersonal)

Theme: Sandwiching an unfavourable statement between two favourable statements

Example: “Our product quality is one of the best. [Favourable] The price is Rs…. which may appear slightly higher. [Unfavourable]

But considering our quality and services the price is in fact not more.” [Favourable]

‘BACK-ON-TRACK’ Technique (Interpersonal)

Theme: Bringing the wavering speaker back on the topic without hurting him.

Example: These days we can’t trust anyone. The other day, a service engineer installed a

voltage stabilizer and it went out of order the very next day. I really don’t know what...

You: I agree with you. We have to be very cautious. That’s why we give a guarantee of 5 years for our product….

‘FUNNEL’ Technique (Interpersonal)

Theme: Speaking on some general topic before coming to the specific point / topic.

Example:

You : So, how are you Sir? X : Fine. You : How is your business? X : Generally OK. But not very bright.

You : Yes, there is a sudden slow down everywhere. I now called you regarding your invoice no…

‘SELECTIVE’ Technique (Interpersonal)

Theme: While listening, taking whatever is useful and relevant to you and ignoring the irrelevant, superficial words.

Example: I don’t understand the way you work. It’s terrible. I don’t think you understand our difficulties. I want the copy of your letter today itself. I am frustrated with the way you work….

You: Take : I want copy of your letter today itself. Ignore : All other words.

‘RIGHT-LEFT-RIGHT’ Technique (Interpersonal)

Theme: Making an emotional statement, then a logical statement and wrapping up with an emotional statement.

Example: “I fully understand your problem. [Right (emotional) brain] I will definitely send you the e-mail today itself [Left (professional) brain]

Be rest assured Sir! We will do all our best to satisfy you. [Right (emotional) brain]

‘EGO BOOSTING’ Technique (Interpersonal)

Theme: Boosting one’s ego and getting jobs done.

Example: X: I can complete the job only tomorrow.

You: Sir, for a person of your caliber and vast experience, that job is nothing really. I am sure you can complete it today itself..

‘MIRRORING’ Technique (Interpersonal)

Theme: Imitating the other person’s words to establish rapport.

Example: By grace of God everything is fine.

You: We are also doing well. Although many industries are not doing well, we are reasonably better off. God is great! (Mirroring)

‘REPHRASING’ Technique (Interpersonal)

Theme: Rephrasing the communication to check if you have understood correctly.

Example: I had told you to despatch Model ‘A’ today and that Model ‘B’ is not very urgent. But now as per our revised requirement, model ‘B’ is very urgent and Model ‘A’ can wait.

You: In other words, you want us to despatch Model ‘B’ today and Model ‘A’ later.

2 x 3 = 6 3 x 2 = 6 (Rephrase)

‘TANGENTIAL’ Technique (Interpersonal)

Theme: To steer the discussion away from any controversial point.

Example: I don’t agree with his view that we should launch that product now. This is not the proper time. But he doesn’t understand. I don’t know what…

You: Yes! People have different opinions. The same situation can be viewed differently by different people. By the way, I came to handover this outstanding payment to you…

.

‘PROACTIVE’ Technique (Inter and Intrapersonal)

Theme: Taking action before the problem arises.

Example: You have committed to your counterpart in other department that you would give a statement at 4 p.m. today. At 2 p.m. today, you will come to know that it’s not possible to give the statement at 4 p.m. You will inform him at 2 p.m. itself your inability to give it today at 4 p.m. And that you would do so at 10 a.m. tomorrow (Proactivity), instead of informing him after he reminds you at 5 p.m. today. (Reactivity)

‘DILUTING’ Technique (Interpersonal)

Theme: Diluting the problem to reduce its intensity

Example: You normally go to all meetings in time. But you are getting delayed for today’s meeting at 2 p.m., due to some other pre-occupation. You ring up the convener of the meeting and inform him that as he is aware, you normally attend all meetings in time and do not like to come late for any meeting(Dilution); but today you are getting delayed and you will join the meeting at 2.15 p.m.

‘BROKEN RECORD ’ Technique (Interpersonal)

Theme: To convey your firm decision without entering into arguments.

Example: When other person is unreasonable and argumentative, convey your decision without any explanation or justification because any explanation or justification will give more leverage to the other person to continue his arguments.

‘METAPROGRAMMING ’ Technique (Interpersonal)

Theme: To influence the other person and get job done.

Example: Find out whether the other person can be motivated or influenced by:

a) Explaining the benefits he gets by agreeing to you (Moving towards - e.g. If you get up at 7 a.m. you will be comfortable).

b) Scaring / threatening with the consequences he faces if he does not agree (Moving away - e.g. If you get up later than 7 a.m., you will

miss the bus).

Use one of the above techniques which is appropriate for him.

‘LEVEL RAISING ’ Technique (Interpersonal)

Theme: To get your job done by involving higher authorities.

Example: When you are getting the job done at a level (person ‘X’) take up the matter at a higher

level (Superior to ‘X’). Ensure that your interpersonal relationship with ‘X’ does not get affected by :

a) Informing ‘X’ that you would take up the matter with higher level.

b) Taking ‘X’ along with you to the higher level.

‘THE TOUCH’ TECHNIQUE (interpersonal )

Theme: Touching the other person to show reassurance, affection and support.

Technique: X: ‘I really don’t know how to complete this

job by tomorrow. I am worried’. You: (touching him) ‘Don’t worry. We are

with you. We will give you the details today itself so that you can complete the job tomorrow. I know you can definitely do it’.Caution: ‘Touch’ is an effective emotive tool; but you have to

touch the other person when it is culturally permissible and you are sure that the other person

likes your touching him/her.

FLASHBACK TECHNIQUE(Interpersonal)

Technique: Reminding the other person an earlier good experience to develop positive feelings.

Ex: You: ‘I hope you recall last time we had together gone for lunch at Hotel Everest. And, you were highly appreciative of quality of food there’.

X: ‘Yes! Yes! We had a very nice time’.

Flash Back

ARTEFACT TECHNIQUE (LEAVE BEHIND TECHNIQUE) (Interpersonal)

Theme: Giving something to the other person as a remembrance.

Technique: When you meet an important person, leave behind (give him) a book or a

brochure or at least a visiting card so that he remembers you whenever he sees the article.

‘I’M ALSO LIKE YOU’ TECHNIQUE (Interpersonal)

Theme: To express one’s genuine similarity with the opinion of other person to build rapport

and improve communication and interpersonal relationship.

Ex: X: ‘I like walking in the morning’.

You: ‘I also like walking. In fact, I walk for 45 minutes everyday morning’.

‘Moods matching’ Technique (Interpersonal)

We have 3 types of moods:

Sleepy, lethargic, lazy, uninterested (TAMASIC)

Very active, restless, aggressive (RAJASIC)

Relaxed, yet very alert, balanced (SATWIK)

Theme: To match the subject with the mood of the person.

Technique: Finding out the mood of the person and trying to match the incidence to the mood of the person prevailing at that point of time.

DO DON’TS

TAMASIC Discuss routine, unimportant matters

Take up aggressive, serious topics

RAJASIC Matters which need motivation, aggressiveness

Routine, trivial things

SATWIK Matters needing balanced thinking, careful and in-depth observation

Matters which need aggression or routine matters

5 Why’s technique (Inter and intrapersonal)

Theme: To get into the root cause of a problem and solve it so that the problem doesn’t repeat

Technique: Anytime you come across a problem, question ‘Why?’ five times.

Ex: There is so much unemployment in our country. Why? People are too many. Why? There is no control on population. Why? People are not aware of the gravity of population explosion. Why? No one explains it logically and rationally to people. Why? There is no concentrated, serious efforts to do so.

Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?

Somopsychic Technique (Intrapersonal and Interpersonal)

Theme:The body influences the mind. So, change your body posture to change the attiude.

Examples:

Attitude you want to develop Change the body posture Interest in a particular point Lean forward

Think in a holistic way Go backwardsEnthusiasm, mental alertness Do a few stretching

exercisesBe relaxed, tension-free Stop

drumming fingers, shaking the legs, etc.

Illustration Technique (interpersonal)

Theme : Giving an example to explain a point for easy understanding

Example: Apart from / instead of saying: “0n the gross price we will give a discount of 10% and on the net price thus arrived at, we will add 5% surcharge”.

Say: Suppose the gross (list) price of the item is Rs.100.00 , we will allow you a discount of 10%

i.e. Net price will be Rs. 90. On this net price, we will add 5% surcharge, i.e. the final price comes out Rs.94.50

For example.….

Positive stroking technique (interpersonal)

Theme: Genuinely appreciating some good aspect in the person

Benefits: a) The other person feels goodb) You will develop the habit of looking at good things in life and inculcate a sense of appreciation.

Example: “Your watch is very elegant. Where did you buy it? It's really very nice”.

PARALANGUAGE TECHNIQUE

Technique: While you listen, you say words like ‘Ha, ha! Yes, correct, OK, go on, I agree, you’re right, Mmm, etc.’ to confirm to the speaker that you are attentive.

(Interpersonal)

Ha, ha, yes, O.K., go on…

Technique: a) ‘Same-beat person: Wants to be safe, follow what majority people do, doesn’t like to experiment.

b) ‘Off-beat person: Wants to be different, unique, adventurous, doesn’t want to toe the line of others, wants to experiment.Find out to which category the other person belongs and

communicate accordingly. Ex: a) If the person is ‘same-beat’ you say: ‘This is the

most popular shirt. We have sold more than 200 pieces last month…’.

b) If the person is ‘off-beat’ you say: ‘With this shirt, you look different, special!’

OFF-BEAT / SAME-BEAT TECHNIQUE

(Interpersonal)

Same BeatOffbeat

‘PHYSICAL PROXIMITY’ TECHNIQUE (Interpersonal)

Theme: Going physically closer to a person to get favour or to reassure

Technique:When you need some help, console someone, reassure somebody or genuinely express

your joy or sorrow, move physically closer to give an emotional touch.

Caution : Be cautious about the person’s liking towards you, cultural issues and gender

discrimination while doing so.

REINFORCING TECHNIQUE (Interpersonal)

Theme: To reinforce the statement of the other person and steer him towards your side.

Example: X : I need this statement very urgently, there should be no mistakes.

You : As rightly told by you (reinforcing phrases), since you don’t want to have any

mistakes, I suggest that we put two persons on the job immediately and…

‘LET US ENJOY’ TECHNIQUE (Interpersonal)

Theme: To feel happy, motivated, enthusiastic and optimistic

Technique: Decide that for next 2 weeks, you will add the phrase ‘Let us enjoy’ before most of the

sentences spoken by you. Ex: Let’s enjoy discussing this

matter. Let’s enjoy reworking this procedure, etc. Due to your saying ‘Let’s enjoy’, you will really start enjoying the job.

‘ATTENTION CATCHING’ TECHNIQUE (Interpersonal)

Theme: Drawing attention of the listener before speaking on the main point.

Example: “Just a moment Sir!” “Attention please” “Everyone, kindly listen”

Benefits: It mentally prepares the listener to listen to you and increases their mental receptivity, alertness and attention to understand you.

‘POSTPONING’ TECHNIQUE (Interpersonal)

Theme: Postponing the discussions or decision – making to get some breathing time, especially when there are arguments, serious contradictions.

Example: “Gentleman! I think we have discussed most of the aspects of the subject. I think all of us need some time to ponder over. I suggest we break now and meet after a few days”.

Benefits: (1) Cuts off the unpleasant arguments (2) The person may genuinely need some time to think over (3) The persons may become wiser when they meet after a few days. The discussions after a few days could be more logical and rational, rather than being personal or impulsive.

‘PAST ACHIEVEMENT REFERENCE’ TECHNIQUE (Interpersonal)

Theme: Recalling the past achievements, if any, to get motivated, especially when people are doubtful, demotivated

and demoralised.

Example: “Gentleman! I think many of us are doubting whether we can really achieve this target. I want you to just recall our feelings exactly a year back. At that time, we were in fact in a more difficult situation and were more doubtful. But due to our determination and hard work, we even exceeded the target. I think, compared to that situation, things are much more easier and better now. And I am confident, we will definitely exceed our target this year also.

‘I’LL BE WITH YOU BUT AFTERWARDS YOU SHOULD BE WITH US’ TECHNIQUE

(Interpersonal)

I YOU

ME YOU

Theme: Agreeing to the other person with a condition that he should agree with you later.

Example: We will definitely pay you by cash as you wanted, but you have to give us 1% discount.

‘GENDER ATTRIBUTES’ TECHNIQUE (Interpersonal)

Theme : Man and woman are made differently not only in anatomical features but also in mental and emotional characteristics. By understanding these gender specific attributes, you can interact with them effectively.

While communicating or dealing with:

man woman

1. Be fast Be slow, patient

2. Be specific Be descriptive, explanatory

3. Be logical, rational with data Be feelings and emotions oriented

4. Be time conscious Allow sufficient time to speak and to listen

5. Be generally consistent,

predictable

Change yourself according to her changing moods

6. Be result-oriented, conclusive Be process oriented

7. Don’t hurt his ego Be well mannered, respectful

8. Don’t advise or preach Be appreciative

Be loyal, trustworthy, truthful

‘GENDER ATTRIBUTES’ TECHNIQUE (Interpersonal)

man woman

CAUTION : EXCEPTIONS DO EXIST

Theme : Asking appropriate questions to the other person to achieve the desired result in communication and interpersonal relationship

QUESTIONING TECHNIQUE (Interpersonal)

Closed ended question

‘Do you want a cup of coffee?’ To get specific answer

Type of question

Example Objective

Open-ended question

‘What do you think of the future of Indian economy?’

To build up rapport, to know the opinion of the other person

Leading question A. Where had you been Y yesterday

B. To the club

A. At what time?

B. At 8 P.M.

C. Till what time were you there?

D. Till 10 P.M.

To investigate and build on your point of view on him

QUESTIONING TECHNIQUE (Interpersonal)

Loaded question ‘Don’t you think the book is very interesting?’

To influence the other person

No to ‘No’ Technique (Interpersonal and intrapersonal)

Theme: Learning to say that everything is possible.

Technique: Decide that you will not say ‘no’ to anything. You will say that anything is possible provided…

Example: Q: Can you reach the sky?

A: Yes! It is possible, provided you give me a ladder of sufficient height.

Benefit : You will find out alternative ways of doing things. Your negativity, pessimism, feeling of helplessness will reduce. Your optimism, creativity, initiative will improve.

NO