yc magazine september 2014

SEPTEMBER 2014 | youthconnectionscoalition.org

BRO

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OU

BY

kids & stress:how to help» Allowing the Gift of Failure» Sleep, Exercise, & Nutrition Tips» E-Cigarette Truths

Rx Drug Abuse:Silent Epidemic

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youthconnectionscoalition.org | YC MAGAZINE | September 2014 1

Helping Kids Deal with Stress

Allowing Our Children the Gift of Failure

E-Cigarettes: Gateway to Nicotine Addiction?

Ready, Set, Learn!

Rx Drug Abuse: The Silent Epidemic

PROUDMEMBER OF

PRODUCED IN CONJUNCTION WITH

TO ADVERTISE OR CONTRIBUTEColeen Smith: (406) 324-1032

[email protected]

COVER PHOTO BYWandering Albatross Photography

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

SEPTEMBER 2014

2 From the Director 5 The Kitchen Table 10 Faces in the Crowd 11 40 Developmental Assets 12 Assets in Action 18 Q&A and By the Numbers

614162023

FEATURES

IN EVERY ISSUE

YOU see her potential.

NOW everyone wi l l .

The smiles. The laughs. The hopes and dreams. You know they are in there. But how do you bring them out when your child is struggling in school? There is a long-

lasting solution that tutoring can’t provide. Our personal-ized method of strengthening cognitive skills is proven, guaranteed, and fun. Our interactive approach has

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t seems like yesterday the kids were running down the hall excited for summer to begin. Now we are at the beginning of another school year.

Montana summers are much too short!The magazine committee has come

up with what I think is one of our best issues yet. Back To School is a ritual we all remember. It’s helpful to have a list of supplies that kids need to be successful for school, but how often do we get a list of resources to help our

kids be successful for life? Kids need to learn more than their ABCs and 123s. This issue has just that.

Dealing with stress is something we struggle with at all ages. We have an article to help parents help kids deal with that stress.

Speaking of helping our kids – it is possible to “help” them too much! Part of learning about dealing with adversity is learning coping skills. By swooping in to fix every little problem we really are doing them a disservice.

September is kind of a New Year’s Eve of sorts. It’s a fresh slate for kids to start off on the right foot – and parents too! Take advantage of that and encourage healthy eating, getting enough sleep and staying on top of homework.

We are always looking for article ideas, as well as staying on the lookout for great kids doing great things who we can recognize in the magazine, so if you have one please let us know. Email me at [email protected].

Final thought: I remember my mom saying she always remembered the first day of school and seeing the school bus drive by our house … and crying because my brother and I weren’t on it. We obviously grew up and now she wishes we were little again. Or perhaps not.

Here’s to a great and successful year for all the kids … and parents.

remember to patronize and thank our advertisers. it’s their advertising dollars that make this publication possible.

cOLeenSmith

ColEEN SMIth, YC DIrECtorPhone: (406) 324-1032

[email protected]

directorfroM thE

Youth Connections is a coalition of over 1100 community members representing parents, educators, churches, youth-serving organizations, businesses, and more who want to make Helena a healthy and supportive place for kids and families. Youth Connections recognizes the need to reduce negative behaviors including substance use and violence while also working to increase positive opportunities and mental wellness for all our local kids.

So how do we do that? We know there is no silver bullet to making communities great, and so we do LOTS of things that we know make communities better. We support agencies and businesses who offer youth activities because we know kids who are involved in positive activities aren’t involved in negative ones. We support student mentoring relationships because research shows it helps kids stay in school and be successful. We also know that when kids know better, they do better, so we support classroom education in the areas of bullying prevention and substance use prevention. Youth Connections also understands we must support the adults in kids’ lives and therefore we provide training, education, networks, and collaborative opportunities for parents and professionals to connect with others who care about kids.

Youth Connections is well known for its quarterly publication, YC Magazine, a resource for parents and the entire community. These are just some of the projects we’re working on to serve our mission of engaging our community to create environments where youth thrive and succeed. For a comprehensive list of activities, services, and ways you can get involved, please visit our website at www.youthconnectionscoalition.org.

Timberly is a senior at Helena High. She serves on the Youth Connections Foundation board and is active in Bengal Pure Performance. She was very helpful in rolling out our Think Beyond the Behavior campaign and has been an asset in sharing the youth voice. In her spare time she enjoys working out and traveling. Next year she plans on attending Montana State University and majoring in pediatric nursing.

ON THE COVER

AbOUT YOUTH CONNECTIONS

Can’t get enough great resourCes? Follow us:Twitter: @Youthconx Facebook (for parents): Youth ConnectionsFacebook (for kids): Find Your Spot

2 September 2014 | YC MAGAZINE | youthconnectionscoalition.org


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For many of us the kitchen table represents the typical family experience. We have laughed while having family game night. We have cried over our children’s choices. We have blown out the candles on many cakes. We have argued our way out of doing the dishes. We have struggled through those “three more bites.” We have learned hard lessons and celebrated many deserved successes. One thing is for sure though – if our kitchen tables could talk, there would be plenty of

stories! So often it is in relating to others’ stories that we realize there isn’t always one answer, or even a right answer. Parenting is hard work! If you have a story of lessons learned, we invite you to share it with our readers. Sometimes, knowing we aren’t the only ones struggling to find the answer is all the help we need.

You Can submit Your storY at: [email protected]

veryone knows that no two children are the same — that’s easy — even for someone like me.

To give you a little perspective, the first time I was left alone with a baby for more than a couple of hours was when I gave birth to my daughter. Even then, I put her diapers on backwards once or twice.

But seriously, every parent knows that each of their children has different strengths and weaknesses and should be valued for those. I guess what surprised me is how far apart on the spectrum two children can be, and still come home each night to eat dinner at the same table. Or like my friend, have two girls from the same two parents and the kids seem to be polar opposites!

When my second husband and I got married, we each brought one child to the relationship. My daughter was seven at the time, and my step-son was five. My daughter had always been an extremely social child. Every weekend involved birthday parties, sleepovers, and if possible, some kind of little kid team sport. Whether she was happy, sad, excited, or worried, it was no mystery. For good or bad, her relationships with her friends consumed her, and she would much rather nurture those

connections than focus her attention on such mundane activities as homework.

My step-son, on the other hand, was and is, in all honesty, a genius. At any given time, that young man has more instantaneous access to knowledge than I could ever dream of possessing after a lifetime of learning. While his grades haven’t always been stellar, he has the ability to focus in so closely on a topic of interest to him that nothing else matters. That said, the inner workings of social situations often elude him.

I recall one evening as my husband was trying to help my daughter work her way through a math problem, (I have a math deficiency, so I was keeping my head down) the boy child — who had finished the problem in his head minutes ago — commented that he couldn’t believe she didn’t get it and asked if she was stupid.

Nurturer that I am, I took my youngsters under my wing and sat them down for a teachable moment. First and foremost, we never call anyone stupid. Why, you ask? Well, every person is good at some things, so everyone is smart in his or her own way. While my step-son may be able to calculate the square root of 2,564,763 in his head in mere seconds, my daughter can walk

into a room, identify a complete stranger who needs a friend, and warmly bring that individual into the group.

Hmmmmm. I saw it in their eyes, if only for an instant. They got it. I’d like to say we never had that conversation again, and that both of them emerged from that situation with a perfect and enduring understanding of people’s differences. Nope. And I’d like to say that neither of them called the other stupid again. Not a chance.

I guess we as parents need to take a page from this book as well. We can’t treat all our kids the same. We need to embrace their differences - and practice what we preach. Social situations can make my step-son cringe so I can’t be surprised if he’s not jumping up and down to attend parties. He may, however, leap at the chance to attend a science camp, whereas my daughter would rather fall on a fork than be subjected to that torture.

But maybe that’s the key — little life lessons every day. A childhood filled with gentle reminders (for all of us) that everyone is different, and that isn’t a bad thing. Don’t expect an epiphany. Expect the development of knowledge, acceptance, and eventually, a better community for it. ■

confessions from The kiTchen Table

hoW I lEArNED to EMbrACE DIffErENt

with StreSSBy Heidi Palmquist-scanlon, lcPc

helping kids deal

YC MAGAZINE | September 2014 7

hen I ask people to describe an image of “stressed out,” most often they describe versions of an adult multitasking, trying to meet

a deadline and keep up with family events. Too often, we as parents overlook the possibility of our own children and teens experiencing a similar level of stress. Because children exhibit the symptoms of stress in different ways than adults, their level of stress may go unnoticed or be brushed off as a tantrum, grumpiness or teenage hormones. Stress, a normal reaction of our body, is triggered when we meet situations that we may find challenging, exciting, uncomfortable, or out of the ordinary. While stress is not always negative and can actually help us perform in certain situations, it can also become overwhelming and lead to mental and emotional issues if there is an inability to cope with these situations.

At times, we may be quick to assume that today’s children live perhaps a care-free life as many of us may have been fortunate to experience during our childhood. While many parents work hard to create this care-free environment for their children, the fact is that the environment in which our children are living is different from the one in which we grew up. While some stress that our kids experience is brought on by school, friends, homework, divorced/separated families and hormones ( just as it was decades ago), kids today have additional issues such as social media/technology, worrisome issues in world news, and the constant pressure to excel.

The steady stream of information pouring in throughout the day (and sometimes night) delivered by technology such as phones, television, electronic games, iPods and social media can trigger stress in some cases. While technology creates wonderful access to learning, it can also serve as a “petri dish” for stress to develop and grow if not monitored by a caring adult.

with StreSS

As another school year begins, it is important to consider the causes of stress for our kids, its symptoms and how we as parents and caregivers can help reduce and alleviate it and help our kids know when to access their “off” switch.

helping kids deal

continued on page 9


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As humans, we have the innate ability to access an “on/off ” switch which allows us to be in “thinking/working” mode or “relaxing/decompressing” mode. Before technology became such a huge factor, we found it easier to “turn off ” after school and allow our brains to relax. We would take the time to go outside to play or hang out with the next door neighbor. If we needed to make a call, we would wait for our turn to use the one phone in the house and probably have a time limit if our sibling or parent needed to use it. We may have helped make dinner or have gone to our room to read a book. During these hours, we were “turned off,” allowing our brains to relax.

For many, a great deal of time after school is spent texting friends, watching TV, playing electronic games and Facebooking friends, (many of these are done simultaneously). For kids who fall into this category, their brains are turned to “on” and are not resting. In addition, not all of these interactions present positive interaction. For example, having a friend ignore a text or seeing a rumor being spread on Facebook can cause a kid’s stress level to go up. Some are not able to turn their device off to give themselves a break from the negativity, or they lack the motivation to say, “Hey, it’s time for me to take five and decompress.” When the brain is turned on for so many hours of the day, it is difficult to relax and experience downtime. This is when stress and anxiety can begin setting in.

While technology and social media contribute to stress, there are other causes that can affect kids too. There are many events going on in the world that can cause worry and confusion in kids such as natural disasters, terrorism, and war. If viewing these events are not being monitored by a parent for age appropriateness or discussed with an adult in order to help create an understanding and sense of security, stress can develop and reach an unhealthy level.

For many kids, there is a pressure to perform both academically and athletically. We live in a world where there is a constant need to compete for trophies, scholarships and positions on teams. For some kids, high expectations of themselves can create a great deal of anxiety. Some have difficulty when they experience losing to another team, getting a poor grade on a test, or not getting into the college they had hoped. While these situations are very disappointing, not all kids cope with disappointment as well as others and they become very distraught or anxious.

How can we, as adults, help our kids manage stress? As adults, we are key figures in recognizing, addressing and helping our kids cope with stress. As parents, it can be a daunting task to determine when our child is experiencing normal developmental

hurdles, and when they are experiencing stress overload. With anxiety and depressive disorders on the rise, having some warning signs to look for can be helpful.

WhAt ARe the mAJOR cAUSeS OF StReSS FOR KiDS tODAY?» major life change or life events

that affect those around them (death, divorce, new school, new family member, family finances)

» Bullying

» School performance

» Body image/feelings of inadequacy

» Peer pressure/dating

» too many activities; not enough down time

» Lack of sleep/nutrition

If you believe that any of these causes of stress are affecting your child, see if you can help reduce the cause. For instance, if you believe that something in the news is triggering fear in a young child, simply turn the TV off, and catch the late night news after they are in bed. If your teen is not getting enough sleep, revisit the time they are required to have homework completed and be in bed with electronics off.

WhAt ARe the WARninG SiGnS OF StReSS?» excessive sleep or inability to sleep

that goes on for several days/weeks

» Social isolation

» change in eating habits

» Acting out and bedwetting (younger kids)

» Physical complaints (stomach aches/headaches)

» Avoiding school/activities

» Decline in grades

WhAt cAn i DO tO heLP?1. Be available and listen, listen, listen. Try not to judge or be too quick to give advice and “fix” things for them. Many kids just need to be heard and have their feelings validated.

2. Be involved; support and show interest in activities they enjoy! Consider several family dinners per week. Turn phones/TV off during this time. Consider monitoring the amount of time they spend on electronic devices as well as what they are doing on these devices. If your son/daughter is going to have a Facebook account, require that you are “friends” with them to help monitor their activity and see with whom they are exchanging information.

3. Set and enforce regular bedtimes (yes, even for teenagers). Studies show that 10 hours of sleep for our kids’ and adolescents’ busy brains is necessary.

4. Require that all electronics be turned off during sleeping hours. Ask kids/teens to place gaming devices, phones, iPods, iPads, laptops, etc. in the kitchen, parents’ bedroom, or elsewhere at a specified time each evening to avoid the temptation of using them when they should be sleeping.

5. Limit activities to some degree. If your child/tween/teen is feeling overwhelmed and complaining that they don’t have time to complete tasks, relax or sleep, it may be time to step in and help them arrange their schedule and limit some activities. Monitor the time spent on electronic games, phones, TV and social media.

6. take time to relax and laugh with your child. Model “downtime” or the “off switch” for them. This can be done through relaxing activities such as taking a walk, working on a project together, or even taking long, deep breaths.

7. Access help. If your child exhibits several warning signs of stress and does not seem to be improving, make an appointment with your child’s doctor and/or a counselor to address your child’s needs.

WhAt cAn KiDS/teenS DO tO ALLeViAte theiR OWn StReSS?» talk to a caring adult

» Go for a walk or run

» Journal, draw, paint, or play an instrument

» take a long, hot bath or shower

» take long, deep breaths (inhaling slowly through nose, exhaling slowly through mouth)

» Watch a comedy or uplifting movie

» Read a book or listen to relaxing music

There is hope! In spite of some of the negatives we hear in the news, the constant drive for success, and social media kids are surrounded by today, there is a great deal of assistance available to help all of us identify positive approaches to stress as we encounter some of the negatives. Approaching the obvious signs of stress and talking about it with our kids is essential. Accessing support outside of the family through a doctor, counselor or clergy can make the difference for your child. Listening and empathizing with our children let them know that we care! ■

continued from page 7


fACESIN THE CROWD

IS thErE SoMEoNE YoU’D lIKE to NoMINAtE?

Check out who’s standing out in our community.

Please email [email protected] and tell us why this individual has stood out in your crowd.

Emma hopkins kESSLER ELEMEnTaRY SCHOOL, 5TH gRadEEmma and her friends decided on the playground one day that they wanted to do something for kids with cancer. Emma’s dad contacted St. Pete’s Oncology unit and found out that there were no DVD players and kids’ movies. Children who had to spend a lot of time there going through treatment didn’t have the benefit of movies to pass the time. After several fundraisers at their school, Emma and friends raised $700 and got 50 new and used children’s movies donated, as well as a DVD player. The hospital will be purchasing another DVD player and more movies with the money they raised. Good job, Emma! Thanks for all your hard work.

Justin Johnson CaPITaL HIgH SCHOOL, 12TH gRadEJustin brought science, technology, engineering and math alive with robotics at the Kessler SACC program as an after-school mentor. Developing a course for students to learn about robotics, Justin displayed his passion for teaching and exemplary character by supporting students and building relationships with them. Justin engaged students in fun academic activities that spurred interest in the sciences. Not only does Justin excel as a mentor, he is actively involved in other activities such as track, band, Science Club and the Helena Robotics Team. Justin is Deputy Director for Montana State DeMolay and continues to serve his community with contagious enthusiasm.

rivals AthleticsWe’d like to give a shout out to the fine folks at Rivals. They wanted to do something for the community, so took it upon themselves to host the Light the Night Run. The proceeds went to the YMCA to provide scholarships so kids could participate in sports. They raised over $3000 so no child would be turned away who wanted to get involved in an activity. It’s businesses like Rivals that make Helena a great place to raise kids. Thanks, Rivals, for seeing a need and taking the initiative to organize this fun event!

rudy Whitney HELEna MIddLE SCHOOL, 8TH gRadERudy knows firsthand what it is like to be a SACC student, so this summer he volunteered with the Summer SACC program to develop leadership skills by providing support to the students. Rudy tapped into his own personal interest of origami to teach the students, providing a fun activity that builds on motor and listening skills. As a boy scout, Rudy assumes the role of a den chief, volunteering his time to support local cub scouts. He also attended a National Youth Leadership Training camp this summer and incorporated new leadership skills into his volunteer time at SACC. Rudy also enjoys robotics and is a part of the Helena Robotics Team.

ben Wall HEaLTH and WELLnESS dIRECTOR, HELEna YMCaTwice a week Ben would go to Bryant School to play games and exercise with the kids in the morning before school started. Teachers reported kids being more alert and ready to learn. Ben did this on his own time. He also helps with the after school program at the Y, encouraging the middle school students to be active. Ben is a former football player and Academic All-American at Carroll College. He enjoys playing hockey, camping and fishing. In 2013 he ran the Governor’s Cup Marathon. Thanks Ben for being a great role model for the youth of Helena!


40 developmental assets are

essential qualities of life that help

young people thrive, do well in

school, and avoid risky behavior.

Youth Connections utilizes

the 40 developmental assets

Framework to guide the work

we do in promoting positive

youth development. The 40

assets model was developed by

the Minneapolis-based Search

Institute based on extensive

research. Just as we are coached

to diversify our financial assets

so that all our eggs are not in

one basket, the strength that the

40 assets model can build in our

youth comes through diversity.

In a nutshell, the more of the 40

assets youth possess, the more

likely they are to exhibit positive

behaviors and attitudes (such as

good health and school success)

and the less likely they are to

exhibit risky behaviors (such as

drug use and promiscuity). It’s that

simple: if we want to empower

and protect our children, building

the 40 assets in our youth is a

great way to start.

Look over the list of assets

on the following page and think

about what assets may be lacking

in our community and what

assets you can help build in our

young people. do what you can

do with the knowledge that even

through helping build one asset

in one child, you are increasing

the chances that child will grow

up safe and successful. Through

our combined efforts Helena will

continue to be a place where great

kids Make great Communities. 40

De

Ve

LOPm

en

tAL

ASS

et

S

Turn the page to learn more!


assets in action 40 DEVEloPMENtAl ASSEtS

7

18

1

Day campers enjoying a break at the park.

Dad teaching his sons archery.

Adults modeling good sportsmanship and being active.

14

Winners of the last Chance Stampede Kiddie Parade.

support 1. family support: Family life provides high levels of love

and support.2. Positive family communication: Young person and her

or his parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parent(s).

3. other adult relationships: Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults.

4. Caring neighborhood: Young person experiences caring neighbors.

5. Caring school climate: School provides a caring, encouraging environment.

6. Parent involvement in school: Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.

empowerment7. Community values youth: Young person perceives that

adults in the community value youth.8. Youth as resources: Young people are given useful

roles in the community.9. Service to others: Young person serves in the

community one hour or more per week.10. Safety: Young person feels safe at home, at school, and

in the neighborhood.

boundaries & expeCtations11. family boundaries: Family has clear rules and

consequences and monitors the young person’s whereabouts.

12. School boundaries: School provides clear rules and consequences.

13. Neighborhood boundaries: Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior.

14. Adult role models: Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior.

15. Positive peer influence: Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior.

16. high expectations: Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.

ConstruCtive use oF time17. Creative activities: Young person spends three or more

hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts.

18. Youth programs: Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community.

19. religious community: Young person spends one or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution.

20. time at home: Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights per week.


33

Commitment to learning21. Achievement motivation: Young person is

motivated to do well in school.22. School engagement: Young person is actively

engaged in learning.23. homework: Young person reports doing at least

one hour of homework every school day.24. bonding to school: Young person cares about her

or his school.25. reading for pleasure: Young person reads for

pleasure three or more hours per week.

positive values26. Caring: Young person places high value on

helping other people.27. Equality and social justice: Young person places

high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty.

28. Integrity: Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs.

29. honesty: Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy.”

30. responsibility: Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility.

31. restraint: Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.

soCial CompetenCies32. Planning and decision making: Young person

knows how to plan ahead and make choices.33. Interpersonal competence: Young person has

empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills.34. Cultural competence: Young person has

knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds.

35. resistance skills: Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations.

36. Peaceful conflict resolution: Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.

positive identitY37. Personal power: Young person feels he or she

has control over “things that happen to me.”38. Self-esteem: Young person reports having a high

self-esteem.39. Sense of purpose: Young person reports that “my

life has a purpose.”40. Positive view of personal future: Young person is

optimistic about her or his personal future.

If you or your child would like to submit a picture that represents one of the 40 developmental assets, please email [email protected] with a picture and the number of the asset the picture represents.

Not all pictures are guaranteed publication.

24

39

30

Students planning their leadership summit.

Student athletes learning to implement bengal Pure Performance at hhS.

boys signing code of conduct at 3-on-3 basketball tournament.

You Got Served participants fundraising to help those less fortunate.


an you imagine actually hoping that your child will make mistakes? Have you thought about being glad when your children make poor

choices? Do you have a tendency to rush in during these moments and “over parent,” determined to save your child from even the tiniest failure?

One of the greatest barriers to our children’s successes is our own fear of their failures, but what if we did begin to think of these failures as a gift? Learning to embrace this way of thinking can help us to let go of overprotective tendencies. When we can watch our children experience these life lesson opportunities, and respond with empathy if they do fail, our kids learn that a successful life is facing and walking through the natural consequences of their choices.

There have been numerous studies about the issue of over parenting. These are parents who don’t allow their children to make any choices on their own, and attempt to protect their children from real and potential consequences. One study done at Queensland University of Technology by Judith Locke characterized over parenting as a “misguided attempt to improve [a] child’s current and future personal and academic success.” Some examples of over parenting from the Queensland study included:

» cutting up a 10 year old’s food.

» Bringing a separate plate of food for a 16-year-old to a party as he is a picky eater.

» not allowing an older child to use public transportation, attend a school camp, or learn to drive.

» carrying a child instead of allowing him to walk.

» Parents fighting for the child to have what they want rather than tough it out and face the consequences.

» monitoring an adolescent child who is hanging out at a coffee shop, not leaving the teen with any autonomy.

» Preventing the child from problem solving by racing to his rescue, and never allowing for failure or struggle.

» Rushing to school at the whim of a phone call from their child to deliver items such as forgotten lunches, assignments, or uniforms, etc.

» coming to a student’s locker to check on whether a daughter has all she needs to take home in the afternoon.

» Do student’s homework for them.

These parents have a habit of stepping in and taking control of situations in order to help their children avoid difficulties. Ultimately, what over parenting succeeds in doing as these parents step in to save kids from their mistakes, is to undermine their children’s own sense of independence and destroy their self confidence.

Wise parents understand that children who are allowed to learn from mistakes while they are still at home will be less likely to make ter-rible mistakes later on. These parents are al-lowing their children to learn healthy decision making skills through real life consequences.

Jim and Charles Fay, co-founder and president, respectively, of Love and Logic Institute have been teaching these ideas for decades. Although they have many parenting

techniques, Love and Logic basically teaches these two rules:

1. Set firm limits in loving ways without anger, lecture, or threats.

2. When a child’s choice causes a problem, the adult hands the problem back to the child in loving ways.

Their premise is simple: “Children learn the best lessons when they’re given a task, allowed to make their own choices, and given the opportunity to fail.” Love and Logic further challenges parents by actually asking them to look forward to their children’s mistakes, and even be excited when this happens.

Giving our children choices and allowing them to have the opportunity to fail can be a win-win situation. If their choices are successful, wonderful! We want our children to experience many successes in life and have the satisfaction of knowing that the success came from their own efforts. If they fail, Love and Logic reminds us that it’s okay. Their failure is taking place while the children are young and still living in the home and when the cost of the failure is still small, coupled with love and empathy from their parents.

When we take away the fear of failure, we create a fundamental change in our approach to parenting. If we see our children’s mistakes and failures as opportunities for learning rather than something to be mad or embarrassed about, this can take enormous pressure off of parenting. This new way of thinking may even open us up to the possibility that parenting our kids through difficult times can actually be kind of satisfying. Maybe even fun! That is a gift for everyone. ■

By KatHleen Gazy, clc, Parent educator

allowing our children the

gift offailure

youthconnectionscoalition.org | YC MAGAZINE | June 2014 15

failure

When we take away the fear of failure, we create a fundamental

change in our approach to parenting.

e-cigaretteS:Gateway to NicotiNe addictioN for youth?

By Katie waGner, Health educator


-cigs, as they’re often called, are a controversial topic these days. The U.S.

Food and Drug Administration (FDA) hasn’t determined yet whether they’re safe to use, but that hasn’t stopped the tobacco industry from marketing them aggressively. These ads often appear to target young people, who may not have the maturity to make wise decisions about their health.

That’s why it’s important for you to learn more about the safety, health impacts, and marketing practices surrounding electronic cigarettes – and to share that information with your kids.

WhAt’S An e-ciG?While e-cigs often look like cigarettes, there are distinct differences. E-cigs contain a cartridge of liquid nicotine that’s often flavored to make it more appealing. One part of the e-cig contains a heating coil, called an atomizer, that heats the nicotine liquid, or “e-juice,” to its boiling point. This turns it into a vapor that e-cig users “smoke.” That’s why some people refer to the use of e-cigarettes as “vaping.”

Big tobacco companies are marketing e-cigs as a tool to help people quit smoking – and consumers are buying the sales pitch. Sales of e-cigs have

increased significantly since 2011, as more and more people try to give up their unhealthy smoking habit.

Marketing e-cigs as harm reduction or cessation devices is a smart sales move, but is it true?

cOmPLeteLY UnReGULAteDSince the FDA hasn’t yet approved the use of e-cigs, they’re completely unregulated. As a result, researchers have found a big difference in the amount of nicotine from cartridge to cartridge and brand to brand. This makes it hard for users to gauge just how much nicotine they’re actually inhaling.

So while the tobacco industry advertises e-cigs as cessation devices, the opposite may be true. Nicotine is a very addictive drug, and e-cigs could serve as a gateway to a lifetime of nicotine addiction and to the use of other tobacco products.

According to the Federal Trade Commission, the tobacco industry currently spends $8.8 billion advertising its products in the United States every year, This equals about a million tobacco advertising dollars spent every hour!

Although there are strict federal regulations banning tobacco advertising in the media, there are no

such prohibitions against advertising e-cigs. There’s also no federal age restriction on who can buy e-cigs, although individual states and stores can set their own restrictions. Some states, like California, have prohibited their sale to minors, but youth can simply buy them over the internet instead.

So, theoretically, a five-year-old could buy an e-cig. And tobacco companies appear to be luring youth with bright-colored packaging and candy-flavored products like Gummy Bear, Cotton Candy, and Cookies and Cream.

Young people were bombarded with 256 percent more e-cig advertising in 2013 than in 2011, according to RTI International, an independent, nonprofit institute that provides research, development, and technical services. The popularity of e-cigs among middle- and high-schoolers doubled from 2011 to 2012.

eASY AcceSSThe combination of easy access and uncontrolled nicotine content make e-cigs especially dangerous for children and youth. A deadly dose of nicotine for adults is around 60 milligrams, but the lethal dose for children is much lower. Nicotine cartridges for

e-cigs typically contain 18-24 milligrams – enough to poison a child.

Poison centers are reporting an uptick in calls about exposures to e-cigarette devices and liquid nicotine. Slightly more than half of them have involved children under the age of 6 who inhaled, ate, or simply touched the products. Some of these children became very ill, mostly with nausea and vomiting, according to the American Association of Poison Control Centers (AAPCC). Some even required emergency room visits.

The AAPCC recommends that e-cigs and liquid nicotine should always be locked up and out of the reach of children. If you think someone has been exposed, call your local poison center at 1-800-222-1222 immediately.

So be savvy about the products your kids are using. Until the FDA fully researches e-cigs, any claims about them being tools to quit smoking or reduce its harm are not backed by science. Researchers simply don’t know enough about them right now to confirm whether they have any positive uses.

One thing we do know for sure is that youth are a primary target of e-cig marketing. They’re also the ones most likely to suffer harmful effects from their use. ■

As a parent, you play a crucial role in educating your children about the dangers of using tobacco. But what should you tell them

about products that contain nicotine but aren’t tobacco – like electronic cigarettes?



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have a question? [email protected]

We cannot guarantee all questions will be published; however, we will do our best to respond to all questions submitted.

Q. When should we start looking for scholarships and how do we find them?A. Scholarship deadlines arrive quicker than you think, so students should get started soon in their search for some much-needed cash for class.

Visit with your guidance counselor and contact the financial aid office at the schools you want to attend. (About 90 percent of scholarships are awarded locally and at the schools that students attend.) Search websites including your college financial aid office website or office, FastWeb.com, scholarships.com or Collegeboard.com to find scholarships for which you might qualify.

Remember, scholarships aren’t just available to students with the greatest financial need. Some scholarships are available to students based on academic success, athletics or volunteer efforts.

Identifying scholarships now gives you time to ask coaches, teachers, and others for letters of recommendation. Plus, you won’t be rushed to complete application forms, write essays (if required), and put your best effort to obtain money to help pay for school.

Pay close attention to deadlines — don’t waste your time preparing applications for scholarships that are passed deadline, and don’t miss out on scholarships with deadlines that are looming.

Many scholarship committees place a lot of emphasis on the essays that accompany scholarship applications. Keep the following in mind:

» Grammar and spelling matter.» Promote yourself by talking about extra-curricular activities

and paid or volunteer jobs.» Share your personality and creativity through your essay to

set your application apart from others.» Be enthusiastic about the scholarship for which you are apply-

ing and explain how receiving it will help you achieve your goals.» Ask for help. Have a teacher, parent or friend edit and critique

your application.» Follow up. Make sure your application was received, and ask if

additional information is required.

When applying for scholarships, it’s important to remember that there are no “guaranteed” scholarships and that legitimate organizations don’t charge a fee to apply.

Once you are notified that you have received a scholarship, accept it in order to assure those funds are reserved for you. Should you decide to attend a different school at which certain scholarships don’t apply, notify the other schools promptly so that they can free up that financial aid for other students in need.

Finally, remember to extend your gratitude for the investment in your academic future by sending a thank-you note. Donors enjoy hearing from students and learning how their scholarship funds are making a difference.

bY thENUMBERS


2500 Broadway Helena, MT 59601 | Toll Free (877) COLG4MEMontana Money Magic is funded by a grant received through Montana DPHHS.

To qualify:• Be between the ages of 16-19• Be attending high school in Montana in one of six, participating geographic regions • Complete a financial education program• Meet income eligibility

For families/households with more than 8 people, add $7,437 for each additional person. Additional eligibilty requirements exist. Please contact us at (877) COLG4ME to learn more.

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20 June 2014 | YC MAGAZINE | youthconnectionscoalition.org

readyset learn!Kickstart a successful school year with easy-to-implement

tips for proper sleep, nutrition, and exercise.

By KatHy Boutilier, rn, Bsn


sleepSleep is food for the brain. During sleep, important body functions and brain activity occur. It’s similar to when you conduct a backup on your computer. Skipping sleep can be harmful — even deadly, particularly behind the wheel. It can cause moodiness and reduced performance. Sleepiness can make it hard to get along with family and friends. It can hurt scores on school exams, on the court or on the field. No pills, vitamins or drinks can replace good sleep.

ADeqUAte SLeeP:» improves memory. Sleep strengthens the connections that form

our memories.

» improves the heart. Lack of sleep will increase calcium build up in the heart arteries, increasing the chance of heart disease.

» Decreases depression. When we go to sleep and whenever our body is relaxed it releases hormones that help eliminate the stress hormone, making us happier. A lack of sleep puts our body in a stress mode.

» increases creativity. With the memory at its peak, the mind restored, and the hormones all balanced, we have healthier imaginations.

» Supports weight loss. Lack of sleep creates a lack of the hormone leptin, which tells us when to stop eating. The hunger hormone is then stimulated, and tells us we’re hungrier than we are.

» makes you healthy. The immune system relies on sleep to regain strength to fight against the next day’s toxins. With a sluggish immune system, our guard is down to fight germs.

Five to twelve year olds need 10-11 hours of sleep a night. Sleep problems and disorders are prevalent at this age. Poor or inadequate sleep can lead to mood swings, behavioral problems such as ADHD, and cognitive problems that impact their ability to learn in school.

tiPS FOR PARentS:» teach school-aged children about healthy sleep habits.

» continue to emphasize need for regular and consistent sleep schedule and bedtime routine.

» make child’s bedroom conducive to sleep – dark, cool and quiet.

» Keep tV and computers out of the bedroom.

» Avoid caffeine.

Teenagers need 9.25 hours of sleep each night to function best. Teens tend to have irregular sleep patterns across the week, staying up late and sleeping in late on the weekends, which can affect their biological clocks and hurt their quality of sleep. Lack of sleep limits their ability to learn, listen, concentrate and solve problems. If they are an athlete, sleep is even more vital. Lack of sleep makes teens more prone to pimples, and leads to aggressive or inappropriate behavior toward family, friends, teachers and coaches.

nutritionA healthy diet helps children grow and learn. It also helps prevent obesity and weight-related diseases, such as diabetes. To give your child a nutritious diet:

» make half of what is on his/her plate fruits and vegetables.

» choose healthy sources of protein, like lean meat, nuts, and eggs.

» Serve whole-grain breads and cereals because they are high in fiber. Reduce refined grains.

» Broil, grill, or steam foods instead of frying.

» Limit fast food and junk food.

» Offer water or milk instead of sugary fruit drinks and sodas.

cOnSiDeR theSe nUtRient-DenSe FOODS:» Protein. Choose seafood, lean meat and poultry, eggs, beans, peas,

soy products, and unsalted nuts and seeds.

» Fruits. Encourage a variety of fresh, canned, frozen or dried fruits — rather than fruit juice. If your child drinks juice, make sure it’s 100% juice and limit his/her servings.

» Vegetables. Serve a variety of fresh, canned or frozen vegetables — especially dark green, red and orange vegetables, beans and peas.

» Grains. Choose whole grains, such as whole-wheat bread, oatmeal, popcorn, quinoa, or brown or wild rice.

» Dairy. Encourage your child to eat and drink fat-free or low-fat dairy products, such as milk, yogurt, cheese or fortified soy beverages.

Aim to limit your child’s calories from solid fats and added sugar, such as butter, cake and soda. Look for ways to replace solid fats with vegetable and nut oils, which provide essential fatty acids and vitamin E. Oils are naturally present in olives, nuts, avocados and seafood. For more information visit: www.nutrition.gov/life-stages/children.

exerciseIn a recent study it was determined that the more physically active schoolchildren are, the better they do academically. Everyone can benefit from regular exercise. Exercise benefits every part of the body, including the mind. Exercise increases blood and oxygen flow to the brain, increases the hormones that reduce stress and increases growth factors that help to create new nerve cells, all of which positively influences academic performance.

ActiVe KiDS WiLL:» have stronger muscles and bones.

» have a leaner body because exercise helps control body fat.

» Be less likely to become overweight.

» Decrease the risk of developing type 2 diabetes.

» Possibly lower blood pressure and blood cholesterol levels.

» have a better outlook on life.

Besides enjoying the health benefits of regular exercise, kids who are physically fit sleep better and are better able to handle physical and emotional challenges — from running to catch a bus to studying for a test.

Aim tO incORPORAte the thRee ASPectS OF exeRciSe:» endurance. Playing “tag.”

» Strength. Playing on the monkey bars.

» Flexibility. Bending down to tie shoes.

The National Association for Sport and Physical Education recommends two hours a day for a pre-schooler. One hour should be structured and the other hour free play. School aged children should have one hour a day, which can be broken up into 15 minute intervals.

Getting started on the right foot for the school year means committing to sleep, eating right, and exercising for kids to perform at their best. ■


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rx drug abuse:the Silent

epidemicrescription drug misuse and abuse is reaching epidemic proportions, especially among our youth. While there has been a marked decrease

in the use of some illegal drugs, data from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health show that nearly one-third of people aged 12 and over who used drugs for the first time in 2009 began by using a prescription drug non-medically.

Teens find prescription drugs are easily accessible – available in medicine cabinets at home and grandparents’ or friends’ houses. Research shows that over 70 percent of people who abused prescription pain relievers got them from friends or relatives, while approximately five percent got them from a drug dealer or over the internet.

Prescription drugs are also easy to hide from parents, law enforcement and teachers. Unlike alcohol or marijuana, there is no odor on the user’s breath or clothing.

Law enforcement report youth having “pharm” or skittles parties where kids raid the accessible medicine cabinets, bring the pills and put them in a bowl. Kids take a handful, oftentimes with alcohol, not knowing what they are consuming. Teens believe these substances are safer than

illicit drugs because they are prescribed by a healthcare professional and dispensed by a pharmacist.

What can we as parents and community members do?

» Follow disposal guidelines. Crush up unused pills and mix them in used coffee grounds or kitty litter and put them in a sealable bag then put in the trash. Don’t flush them down the toilet – it may contaminate the water supply.

» Don’t keep unused medications for use at a later time. Having drugs around the house makes accessibility much too easy for kids.

» talk to your kids. It’s important they learn about the dangers and misuse/abuse of prescription drugs. Visit this website for tips for parents: www.drugfree.org/the-parent-toolkit.

» take advantage of community drug take-back programs. They allow you to bring unused drugs to a central location for proper disposal.

» Do not give your medicine to friends.

Doctors prescribe medicines based on a person’s specific symptoms, body size and medical history. A medicine that works for you could be dangerous for someone else.

» talk to grandparents. They are often unaware that their medicine cabinet is a goldmine to a teen looking for prescription drugs.

» Lock up medicines. If you’re hosting an open house because you’re selling your home or having a holiday party, lock up any medications. People misusing/abusing prescription drugs will look for any opportunity to obtain medications.

Parenting a teenager has never been an easy proposition, and the rising popularity of prescription and over-the-counter drug abuse makes this difficult endeavor all the more challenging. Learning all you can about the emerging threat of prescription and over-the-counter drug abuse will put you in the best position to stop your children from making the wrong choice, or get them the help they need if they have already taken their first steps down this dangerous path. ■

By maria Braman, m.d.


Could your little one use a Big? It all starts with the right role models. And Big Brothers Big Sisters is the place to start a relationship with one. For over 100 years, due in large part to private donations, we’ve been able to recruit, screen, match and support mentoring relationships that have changed the lives of hundreds of young people in our community one Little at a time. A study for Big Brothers Big Sisters found that kids matched with a Big Brother or Big Sister:• are more confident• are more likely to steer clear of drugs and alcohol• do better in school• get along better with their family and friends• feel better about themselveseligiBility... who we serveBig Brothers Big Sisters serve as mentors to boys and girls who canbenefit from a friendship with a caring adult role model. Children in the BBBS program:• live in the Helena and Boulder area • are between the ages of 6-14• want to spend time with a Big Brother or Big Sister• agree to a minimum of a one-year time commitment• BBBS will continue to support matches until the “Little” turns 18 or graduates high school

start something

Enroll your child today!

Get started at www.bbbs-helena.org

Call: 406.442.7479

Boys 1st – 5th grades Join Cub Scouting!

For more information about a Pack near you, contact Joe Toro 406-603-0904 or

[email protected]

www.prc.mt.gov/suicideprevention

>>>>>>>>>>

Withdrawal and rebelliousnessIsolating and choosing to spend

time aloneDecline in personal hygiene

Flat affect or depressed moodUnusually long grief reaction (varies with different youth)

Overall sense of sadness and hopelessness

Increase in hostilityDecrease in academic performance

Difficulty concentratingRecent family or relational disruption

what you can dotO save a lIFe

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

If you see the signs, ask the person, “are you suicidal?”

Offer hope, don’t leave them alone, and tell others

take the person to the nearest eR, call the police, take them to a health care professional or

Call the Montana Suicide Prevention Lifeline at

>>>>

of someone who may be at

rISK Of SUICIDewarning SignS

abrupt change in personality

Giving away prized

possessions

Previous suicide attempts

Increase in drug or alcohol use

eating disturbance, either

weight gain or loss

Sleep disturbance, either too

much or too little

Inability to tolerate frustration

>>>>>>>

Youth Connections1025 N RodneyHelena, MT 59601

MISSOULAUniversityof Montana HELENA

Helena College UM

GREAT FALLSGreat Falls College MSU

BOZEMANMontana State University

MILES CITYMiles Community College

BUTTEMontana Tech of the University of Montana

BILLINGSMSU – Billings

KALISPELLFlathead ValleyCommunity College

COLLEGE

BOUNDCOLLEGE

BOUND

Paying for college and figuring out financial aid isn’t easy. But the truth is, we get it!It’s our job. We can help! Student Assistance Foundation offers staff at outreach offices around the state to help students and families realize their dreams of higher education. Visit SmartAboutCollege.org to learn more.

- Manage your money counseling including assistance with spending and borrowing plans

- FAFSA completion

- Assistance and resources to help with the financial aid process

- College planning and college success strategies

- Scholarship search tips and assistance - Foster Youth Education and Training Vouchers

- Matched Education Savings Accounts

- Financial literacy

- AND MUCH MORE!

Need directions?

Our outreach managers can helpyou plan your route on the

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Call (877) COLG4ME (265-4463)to connect with us in your area.

2500 Broadway, Helena, MT 59601safmt.org | (800) 852-2761

(877) COLG4ME

yc magazine september 2014

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