xmas weneva u want
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Xmas weneva u want*
[Christmas quando quiseres]
by
Jorge Lourao Figueira
With the collaboration of Antonio Mercado
From an idea by Manuel Guerra
September/October 2002
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Xmas weneva u want *
NATLIAJOO, 27, teacher
NICO, 17, ex-student
PILIM, 15, ex-student
The action takes place in a secondary school in a coastal town on the
night of the 23rd to the 24th of December, in the art room which is the
backstage area for the Christmas party.
Darkness.. The scene opens to the sound of Christmas in Hollis by
Run DMC. Lights from the street reveal chairs and drawing tables with
moveable tops and small lamps. The tables are pushed to the side of the
room opening up an area in the middle where there are some boxes of
cardboard. From outside comes light, and sporadic ships horns and
traffic noise. By the window is an dismantled Christmas tree. On the
whiteboard the words Xmas Karaoke Party! Friday December 20th is
visible. Nico opens the window with difficulty and enters carefully. He
has a canvas bag over his shoulders and a ski cap on his head, half
removed. Hes wearing jeans, a long coat and trainers. In the half dark
his sillhouette looks like that of a burglar or of Father Christmas. He
moves in slowly and puts down the bag. He looks round the space. He
turns on a torch in his hand. He shines it on the whiteboard, the boxes
and the tree. He walks amongst the objects. He rummages through the
boxes. A voice is heard singing quietly outside.
PILIM
(Bazamos ou Fikamos, by Mind da Gap.)
Amor cumqui, t tudo, ts a curtir... amor, o que que se passa, tudo
bem, ts a sentir... han han!...
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NICO
Leave it out, man! Shut up, man!
PILIM
(Continuing.)
Han-han! Diz l, em que ponto que estamos? tou cos meus manos...
(Pilims head appears at the window. Hes wearing mirrored ski goggles
and a baseball cap) Bazamos ou fikamos? Shall we split or shall we
stay? (Pause. Starts again.) When Im nervous, man, I have to sing.
Amor cumqui, t tudo, ts a curtir... (Enters. Hes got a backpack.
Treads on the tree.) Bloody hell!
NICO
This is really bugging me. Cant you sing something else
PILIM
What, for example?
NICO
A... Christmas song!
PILIM
(Being difficult.)
But what? More ragga, more hardcore? new school hip-hop?
NICO
A carol, man.
PILIM
(Thinking about what to sing. Assumes a rapper pose. Suddenly:)
What if they hear us?
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NICO
Who, man?...
PILIM
I dont know. Someone.
NICO
Someone? No-ones been here since yesterday, mate. Theyve all gone
on holiday. (Puts a box with the karaoke into a bag. Silence.)
PILIM
Hey man, cant we put the lights on?
NICO
No. If you want open the blinds.
PILIM
(As he opens the blinds, he does a request programme voice.)
Now to our listener, Nicolau, from South Central, wants to hear a
Christmas song? And to make a dedication too? (In rapper voice.) To all
my mates who are doing time, .. here you are?... (Chanting.) A happy
Christmas to you all....a happy Christmas to you allI wish all of you a
happy Christmas... (Thinks. Suddenly:) You sure the alarm wont go off?
NICO
If it was going to it would have by now. (Goes on looking.)
PILIM
(A bit paranoid)
Maybe it goes off directly in the police station station. Praps its already
gone off. Praps when we leave theyll all be out there waiting for us
when we leave, teachers, cops and the whole gangof them. (Peers out of
the window.)
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NICO
All rushing to get your autograph...
PILIM
(Starting to get scared.)
Maybe theyre all out there waiting for us... (Peers out of the window.)
But you cant see anything cos of the fog... (Pause.) Theres someone
outthere... praps its a security guard!
NICO
(Irritated.)
And perhaps youre an airhead. The schools got an alarm, man, they
dont need guards.Looks outThats a bush! (Brutally shovess Pilims
head out of the window Now do you see. Youre making me jittery, man.
PILIM
(Thoughfully)
Yeah(Triumphant) But someone has to come to see that the alarms on.
NICO
You clot! You deaf or something? (Explaining) The fucking alarm wont
go off cos Ive turned off the fucking alarm, all right? Cant you just
keep quiet.
PILIM
When?NICO
When what?
PILIM
When did you turn the alarm off?
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NICO
(Trying to contain himself without success. Rising intonation)
Listen man, yesterday before I came in wasnt I waiting outside in the
cold waiting for you for more than half an hour? And youre only
thinking about this now? How do you think we got in and out yesterday
with all that stuff without anyone noticing?! How do you...
PILIM
( Interrupting, euphoric.)
How did you turn the alarm off? By changing the wires? Youll have bust
it completely. Theyre going to be really pissed off!..
NICO
(With an air of superiority.)
Theres no problem. I know the code.
PILIM
You know the code? How do you know the code? Why didnt you tell
me?
NICO
Cos you wouldnt be able to turn the bastard off and at the time all the
dreads of South Central would have been here chanting the code in
chorus round the Christmas tree!... Come on, lets go, get a shift on.
PILIM
(Indignant)
Its you thats dithering! And what are you actually looking for?
NICO
Thats my business.
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A car goes by outside. Nico and Pilim start.
PILIM
Right, its them! I knew it!
NICO
Them who?
PILIM
Theyre out there! Were fucked!
NICO
(Interrupting him,harshly.)
Shut up! (Peers out of the window cautiously.)
PILIM
Whos out there? (Nico doesnt move or respond. Pilim becomes more
agitated and has to stop himself shouting.) Whos there?
NICO
It was just a car. Its passed.
PILIM
(Upset.)Ive got to go to the toilet. (Rushes out. Shouts from the corridor:) Dont
go away!
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NICO
Dont piss yourself on the way there. (left alone he starts to look through
the boxes. He finds a pair of glasses which he tries on. He cant see
anything. Continues looking. Finds a sparkly silk scarf that he appears
to recognize. Passes it over his face, smells it and seems to get comfort
from it. Puts it round him. Looks for a mirror to see himself in. Hums
Last Christmas. Goes behind the desk and starts a dance routine using
the scarf to the sound of Last Christmas. Hugs himself. Very
sincerely:) Ill never forget Last Christmas with you. (Pilim comes in.
Nico hides the scarf in the box and puts the glasses in his pocket.)
PILIM
(Doing up his flies.)
I just dont want to be caught. You want to go back to school Colgio dos
Olivais, man? Im not. No way!
NICO
Enough of this shit. If you do everything I say nothings going to happen
to you. (Takes the karaoke system out of the bag and shows it to Pilim
with a theatrical gesture.) Have a good look at this, man! Da..daaaa!
Showtime!
PILIM
(Suspiciously.)
Is that what a karaoke systems like? You sure?
NICO
You never seen a karaoke system? (Passes the karaoke system to him.)
PILIM
I thought itd be bigger.
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NICO
(Putting the smaller items in his bag.)
A microphone, another microphone, CDs, cables...
PILIM
You look like Father Christmas.
NICO
And you look like a reindeer with those glasses. ??? (Starts to pile stuff
in Nicos arms.) Amplifier, projector, more cables... (Puts the cables in
the bag.)
PILIM
How much do you think this gears worth. Enough to settle with the
Maltese do you reckon?
NICO
For us to settle, no. For you to settle. Itll bring enough, man, and some
to spare.
PILIM
(Hes quiet. Then suddenly:)
And the speakers, are we going to take the speakers?
NICO
You reckon we can carry them? If not well come back tomorrow.
PILIM
Not tomorrow! Ive got to meet up with my dad.
NICO
Your dads inside, Pilim.
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PILIM
But Ive got to meet up with him all the same. At the jail. ( resentfully.)
Its Christmas in there too, dont you know nothing?
NICO
(Patiently.)
But its on Wednesday. Tomorrows only Tuesday, man, its only
Christmas Eve!
PILIM
So what? Xmas is whenever people want, man.
NICO
(Corrects Pilims pronunciation.)
Christmas! (Giving in.) Right, lets take the speakers now. (Places them
in Pilims arms.) Otherwise the Maltese will send us back ....and I want
to keep on the right side of him. Lets split.
PILIM
(Having difficulty carrying the stuff.)
Yeah. Well. OK. But... listen... if were going to split now...wouldnt it be
better to go down to the bar first.
NICO
You want everything, you do. Were not going round the back there withall this junk. Just check and see theres nothing left in the boxes.
PILIM
Im going to put the light on.
NICO
Wait. (Closes the shutters.)
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PILIM
Why?
NICO
Now you can. (Pilim puts the light on.)
PILIM
(Starts looking. Grumbling)
It was this fucking thing I bumped into. (Gives the Christmas tree a kick)
NICO
Hey! Its not the trees fault!
PILIM
They might have left some chocolates on the tree. (Looks through the
boxes and throws them aside.)
NICO
Look man, in a bit well get the karaoke system to the Maltese and hell
give us enough dough to pay off your debt and therell be enough left
over to buy as many chocolates as you want... and everythingll be real
cool. Itll be chocolates all the way!
PILIM
And in Lisbon well buy some more!
NICO
And when we get to Faro, well buy a whole crate of chocolates...
PILIM
Theyve eaten everything... (Hes about to throw a box on the floor. Nico
tops him.)
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NICO
Nativity scene! The box says nativity scene, mate! Cant you read?
(Puts the box down and they open it and they start to take the figures out,
all very carefully. They start to set up the nativity scene.)
PILIM
(Takes a figure of the baby Jesus from the box.)
If only this was made of chocolate...
NICO
You really think anyone would make a baby Jesus out of chocolate?
PILIM
Whats wrong with that? They make Father Christmases... (He only finds
sheep, which he passes to Nico.) Sheep.
NICO
But the only ones made of chocolate are the Three Kings.
PILIM
The Three Kings?
NICO
One of them was black.
PILIM
More sheep. Are they cool, these three kings?
NICO
Yeah. I dig them. They were these guys who got right on the road to see
what was going on. They werent stupid old duffers..
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PILIM
(Continues.)
Nothing but sheep.
NICO
Cant you see that the sheep are the nerds of 9 F!? Hey, look here. (Faz-
se surpreendido. Picks up a figure but hides it from Pilim.) Man, this
ones your splitting image.
PILIM
(Very enthusiastic.)
Which one? One of the Kings? Show!
NICO
The donkey, Pilim!! Lets hear you braying. Hee-haw, hee-haw. ..
PILIM
(Taking the cow out of the box.)
And youre the cow! Moooo!
NICO
Im what?
PILIM
A great big cow! Youre always running away with your horns down!Come on lets see you! (Jumps on top of him. Some of the figures fall.
They roll around on the floor. They upset boxes. Nico finally dominates
Pilim and someone can be heard knocking at the door.)
PILIM
Theyre here! Its them! (Throws Nico off and hides.)
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NICO
Shut up. Listen. (turns off the lights.) Wait here while I go and see.
(Covers his face with the cap and leaves.)
PILIM
(Desperate)
Dont leave me here alone! (Pilims alone. Starts to croon Bazamos ou
Fikamos by Mind Da Gap quietly.) At ficas plido, com o seu rosto
esqulido...
Another noise from the door. Pilim is frightened and sings faster and
faster. After a bit Nico comes in.
NICO
Youre so stupid, you really are mentally retarded. You left the door open
when you went to the toilet. It was the wind blowing it. (Puts on the
lights.)
PILIM
(Relieved.)
Fuck! Itd be cooler to sell dope and it wouldnt be such hard work
NICO
Thats all very well, but if you dont pay the dealer...
PILIM
And that was my fault? They screwed me. It was dark. There were three
of them.
NICO
Youre a real sucker. I bet the guys who stole the dope from you are the
same ones who sold it to you. A big fuck-up. (Pilim goes back to
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PILIM
(Finding three sets of coloured cards.)
Hey!... Presenters cribs... there were three of the bastards this year...
Fonix. (Reading.) And these are Miss Natalias cards... (Ironic.)
Excellent!!...
NICO
Natlias? Give here.
PILIM
(Doesnt give him the cards.)
Your cute little friend the English teacher...
NICO
(Taking the cards from him.)
She is my friend, true... but it was your house she went to when she heard
that wed quit school.
PILIM
(Resentful.)
You havent got a home, you live out of your old bag. Do you want her to
guess where you live?... (Malicious) But she asked about you straight off,
she did.
NICO
What did she say? Tell!
PILIM
She was all worried... (Imitating, falsetto) And wheres Nicolau, whats
he up to? Is he OK? Ive told you this about ten times... (Ironic.)
Perhaps you dont remember... (Provocative.) Didnt she send you a card
this year? . Theres still time... I miss you!... Merry Xmas
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NICO
(Correcting.)
Christmas! Give that here!
PILIM
(Imitating Nico.)
Miss, how do you say Sumol in English?
NICO
Shut your face!...
PILIM
You should have said Can I stay at your place tonight?!
NICO
I warn you, man! (Grabs him by the head and wrenches the cards away;
some fall on the floor.)
PILIM
(Through clenched teeth.)
I miss you.
NICO
(Reading the programme. False disdain.)
What a drag. Always the same old Christmas songs.
PILIM
(Reading with Nico.)
They even begin with the same one. (Sings Last Christmas by Wham)
Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next mo you gi-i-i-ve
it away...
NICO
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(Joins in. Pop star pose.)
This year to save me from tears, Ill give it to someone special
PILIMandNICO
Special...
Pause.
NICO
Thats the one she likes best... but why, man, why should that be?...
PILIM
Her and all the school oldies! What a bunch. (Procura mais coisas nas
caixas.)
NICO
But the way Natlia sings... I dont know man... it gives me goose
bumps, know what I mean?...
PILIM
With that number? Give it here... (Checking the list.) Right, its just
boring numbers this Christmas. Last year we at least did a rap number,
remember? (Imitating) Your attention... ladies and gentlemen... (Gets
an idea. Gets the mikes out of the bag. Nico helps him and passes over
some cards. Pilim gets up on a table. Nico puts on some lamps focussingone on Pilim and turns off the lights of the room. Pilim, to an imaginary
audience:) A very good evening to all of you: parents, teachers, staff
and students of Sebastio Alba School!
They alternate in the parts of presenter, reading the cards and singer
using the mikes. They complete whats on the cards with their own
inventions.
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NICO
(Gets up on a chair.)
Were here to announce this Christmass stars.
PILIM
After our usual opening with Whams Last Christmas performed like
shit by 9F, therell be...
NICO
A dramatic reading by second year primary class: The Kidnap of Father
Christmas! (Nico grabs Pilim by the shoulder, pulls him off the table
and drags him across the floor.)
PILIM
Ho-Ho-Ho He-ee-ee-lp!
NICO
(Lets Pilim go and gets up on the table.)
Everyone wants to get a load of presents from Father Christmas, innit.
Right, Ctia, David, Joana Alves and Joana Mendes are going to sing A
Christmas Present... for us!
NICOand PILIM
(To the tune ofJingle Bells.)
There aint no presents for Santa this year / some blokes stolen hisreindeers and done real bad things! ( Pilim gets up on the table.
Rapping.) To get more dough cos they pay real bad / a thirteenth part its
really sad... The spirit of capitalisms where its at / and Rudolph the
Reindeers a union cat... Yo!
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PILIM
Ah! Why XPTO?
NICO
Its really cool. Theyre Baby Jesuss initials in Greek!
PILIM
Ah. Right, yeah, cool. Right, lets take it away. One, two, three and.
PILIMandNICO
(We Wish you a Happy Christmas, hip-hop version.)
Christmas morning and the bells are ringing and theres great joy -
where? in the air... They rush through the house barefoot and in slippers
to find their presents so beautiful... On this Christmas morning there
are loads of kids in every country happy... If this was true for all the
kids its be good to hear the bells - sing.. WE WISH YOU A MERRY
CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! (They do stage-diving
from the table top. They end up on the floor, exhausted.)
PILIM
If we had a band we could go and play in prisons and things. Itd go
down really well!
NICO
Yeah And where are our fans. Your dad, your uncles, all your cousins...
PILIM
My dad would think its real cool. Seeing the two of us up there...
NICO
Only if you were braying and I was mooing... ???
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Wait.
NICO
What?
PILIM
Where are you going to stay tonight?
NICO
(Stops. Ironic:)
At the Estrela Hotel! What do you think?
PILIM
Praps we could stay here.. There must be food in the bar. And
chocolates!
NICO
Arent you scared any more about someone coming?
PILIM
Oh, theyre all on holiday. Whod be coming here?
NICO
And the Maltese?
PILIM
Its too late now. Lets stay here and do karaoke all night and then take it
away tomorrow. Just think....a karaoke just for us... And well make our
own sort of nativity scene....and a tree with lights!...
NICO
Ill sleep next to the nativity scene!
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Nico! Come and look!
NICO
Turn this thing off, man!
PILIM
(Offstage.)
Listen man, youve got to see this, theyve got some really wicked
chocolates in the bar!
A door can be heard opening and closing in the school, the sound of an
alarm being turned on and off. Silence. A voice.
NATLIA
(From the corridor.)
Is there someone in there?
Silence.
PILIM
(Offstage. Afraid. Whispering to Nico.)
Hey man! What shall we do?
NICO
Just hide and shut up! (Listening.)
Footsteps in the corridor. An approaching voice hums Last Christmas.
Nico hides but goes back to fetch and hide the karaoke system. A mobile
phone rings. Natlia answers it, still in the corridor.
NATLIA
Hello? Gabriel! Thanks! You too... No, I was talking to the hospital.
Maria Joss come out of her coma. You cant imagine what a shock it
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Nico tries to hide again but stops when they enter. Natlia enters holding
Pilim by an arm. Shes got her mobile in her hand. Pilim gets free.
Natlias mobile falls to the floor. All three hesitate, in silence, for a
moment. Natlias between them.
NATLIA
(Ironic)
Hey, just look here, a miracle, the stars of South Central have come back
to school! Im so happy... Now I know why I never see you: youve
enrolled in night classes!
PILIM
Right. We like these classes better.
NICO
Theyre more practical. You learn more.
NATLIA
And in the meantime you decided to take the karaoke system without
telling anyone.
PILIM
Its Christmas innit?... It was under the tree, we thought it was a present
for us...
NATLIA
(Searching among the boxes.)
Where are the video and the other stuff.?
NICO
There are lots of orders at this time of year. A word in someones ear is
cheaper than going to the shopping centre.
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PILIM
And we even wrapped our presents... (Picks up the bags and makes to
leave.)
NATLIA
Its you too who are going to be really wrapped up, Pilim! Do you know
what could happen to you if the police caught you with all this stuff?
(Nico puts his canvas bag down on the floor.)
NICO
(Cynically.)
Its not such a big deal...were just borrowing it. For a little
neighbourhood Christmas party.
NATLIA
Ah, a little party... And how much were you thinking of making with this
loan??
PILIM
In euros?
NATLIA
Do you want to spend another Christmas inside, Pilim?...
NICO
Wed get undred and fifty euros for the system. But thats not enough. We
need more.
NATLIA
You need more for what?
PILIM
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NATLIA
(Natlia senses their problem. Exasperated:)
But why did you actually quit school. You could have stayed till the ninth
year, so you could get your driving licence, and find some work
PILIM
School again?... You buy your licence, Miss
NICO
(Irritated.)
What difference does it make to have the seventh or the ninth year? Do
you know how much a little packet of heroin like this costs, do you
know? Twenty five euros. And you can sell it for thousands. You dont
have to be able to read and write, just to add up. Im not involved in this
stuff but whoever does can make a whole load of money.
NATLIA
(With irony.)
Ah, well then, its clear that you could be a drug baron... The big guys
dont come from South Central, Nicolau, dont be so naive. Do you want
to live in hiding, like a rat in a hole, for the rest of your life, on the run
from the cops and the dealers. (Gets ready to leave.)
NICO
Im used to it. Ive spent my life on the run from things. Me and Pilimand all the rest of us will always be the kids from South Central...
Someone smashed your windscreen? South Central. Someone attacked a
girl on the train? South Central. Someones farted in the lift? ....South
Central! The bills always made out in our name.
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But you can read and write. Tell me, who was the last girl who paid any
attention to you? You sleep down on the docks. Youre alone, man.
NICO
And you? Who are you with? With your girlfriend, the one whos come
out of the coma? Youve got the qualifications but youre alone and in a
spot just like me and Pilim. In the same shit. No-one would take you.
NATLIA
(Acknowledging the blow. A tense silence. She tries not to lose control.)
That was a low blow, Nico. What do you know about my life? Youre
nothing but a brat, cowardly and alone, got up like a screen hero. Thanks
but no thanks, Ive seen that movie.
NICO
Seeing the film isnt the same thing.
NATLIA
And Ive even been in it myself, for Gods sake. Do you think that I dont
know the score? I was born here, I knew the alleys of South Central
inside out while you were still wetting your knickers. I thought it was fun
to act tough...you didnt know this did you? And I also spent lots of
Christmases on my own just like you two. Fetching parcels for my dad.
At the beginning I just shrugged and looked on. He was the only person I
had. The man of my life... the blokes who used to come to our place,different ones every day. My dad doing drugs, dealing to friends so he
could buy more, and being put out in the street and me going out to buy
more and more H, taking him to hospital where he stayed shouting and
gradually falling to pieces. One night I was holding him in my arms and
that was it.. , me and my despair with the injustice of the world, my
disgust with this bitch of a life. (Pause.) I couldnt do anything. I was
only twelve. But now, here I know I can make a difference.
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Silence. Nico and Pilim are completely amazed.. Nico answers, so as not
to seem defeated. In a quiet voice, bitterly.
NICO
(Thoughtfully at first but rising to a crescendo.)
You do make a difference you really do. Like last year when you left us
and went away. Now always scratching away for a job, giving classes for
three months praying that the bastard whos off sick doesnt come back,
thats if the teacher off sick isnt just trying it on, and then off you go to
another school and while were left sucking our thumbs and sticking
them in our mouths. You make a big difference, you do
NATLIA
Youre right. Sometimes I think Im an idiot. Waiting half a year for a job
in a school Then I do my job, and other peoples jobs and thats a real
drag..... Its all a big rip-off . Youre right. ( Pause. With complete
sincerity.) But despite everything I do like what I do. It was a life that I
chose, I feel good about the little that I do, even when its almost nothing,
even when no-one gives a toss, like you two. I just feel bad when I lose
students to the competition, and the competition in this case is either
prison or the undertakers, cant you see? (Silence. Nico undoes the ties
on his bag, Pilim moves the nativity figures and hums the Mind da Gap
theme.) What Id really like is if a few years from now, when you pass
through the neighbourhood, everyone pointed you out saying Look over
there, its Nico and Pilim from the band, who did the Christmas songs...and not as two suckers who sell H at the gates of the school... (Pause.
Nico and Pilim dont know what to say.) I need to go outside.
NICO
Now?
NATLIA
To the bathroom.
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NATLIA
(To Pilim,gently:)
If not itll be too late, Pilim. Where are you going to be next Christmas, a
year from now? Now your free, you can go and visit your father. But a
year from now? Will he be visiting you?
Pilim, tense, doesnt answer. He keeps the knife in his hand. Continues
sobbing quietly and starts humming in a compulsive manner.
NICO
(Taking Pilims side.)
And Miss, where are you going to be a year from now? Wrapping
presents in the supermarket? Or do you think theyre going to open a
teaching job specially for you here in the school? Youre such a sucker,
Miss... Where do you think youre going to be next year?
NATLIA
(Taking her cue. Its her last chance.)
This is a bet, is it? Is that what it is? All right, I accept. Lets wait for next
Christmas, a year from now, and lets see whos still here. You or me.
One year to come back to the game.
NICO
(Furiously.)
No, a year is too long. Six months. Six months is enough to see whereeach of us ends up.
PILIM
Nico!
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NICO
Quiet. Six months from now, here at the school, in this room. I want to
see if you still have the key or if you have to get in through the window
like us.
PILIM
But thatll be during the summer holidays.
NICO
Christmas in the summer, with the sun and the beach. Christmas
whenever you want. (A look of approval.) That sounds good.
NATLIA
Agreed, then? Shall we leave it there?
NICO
Done. Meeting arranged for the 23rd of June, 2003.
PILIM
I dont know if Ill be able to come. I dont know if Ill be here.
NICO
You will, you will. (To Natlia:) And dont worry about the equipment.
In a few days, after New Years, well bring it back. Even if we have to
go singing from door- to- door.
NATLIA
All right Now its all in your hands. I trust you. (Picks up the K7 video
and gets ready to go.)
NICO
(Cynically.)
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Arent you forgetting something? (Nico takes her glasses out of his
pocket.) If youd taken them perhaps your friend would never.. (Natlia
looks at him, but doesnt answer. Takes the glasses and leaves.)
PILIM
Shes going to get the pigs. Lets split man! Lets nick a car and get a
long way away from here.
NICO
Calm down. We cant do that now. We made an agreement with her.
Weve got to return the equipment.
PILIM
What you mean return, man?! You must be joking!
NICO
Listen: grab the karaoke system and lets split to the Algarve. Weve got
over a week. ( Picks up the karaoke.) We can make money with the
karaoke in the bars and on the street. Well pay off your debt and there
you are.
PILIM
And then?
NICO
Then what?
PILIM
Then, what do we do? Go back to school?
NICO
Then well see. Now lets split. Its almost midnight.
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PILIM
Right now? But my foots hurting. You just hit me...
NICO
So what?
PILIM
I cant put my foot on the floor. How can I carry all this gear? Just wait a
minute to see if it gets better.
NICO
(Slowly and affectionately he wipes out the message on the board,
following the form of the letters with the erasor.)
All right.... But weve got to get the seven oclock train.
PILIM
All right. (Pause.) Do you think Natlias having an affair with that other
woman?
NICO
Youre stupid. You just talk rubbish. (Nico uses the bag as a pillow and
lies down with a book in his hand.)
PILIM
What are you doing?
NICO
Im chilling out. Im fed up with listening to you.
PILIM
What about me?
NICO
Havent you got a bad foot? You have a rest too.
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PILIM
But she might come back!
NICO
The fuck shes coming back. She was giving us a break, dont you see?
Shell only come back tomorrow to see if weve kept out word. Shes
cool, she is..
PILIM
(Preparing himself a bed.)
Well have to wake up early then.
NICO
Aaargh!...
PILIM
In time for me to see my dad. (Lies down. Long pause. Nico tries to
concentrate on reading.)Whatre you reading?
NICO
Mind your own business.
PILIM
(Rolls over towards Nico. Looks at the book.)How to Make and Serve Cocktails. Where did you get that from?
NICO
From some rich kids car.
PILIM
And youre reading it...?! Why?
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PILIM
Look over there.
NICO
What?
PILIM
Which did you prefer; setting up the nativity scene or decorating the
tree?
NICO
I cant remember. I think I preferred the nativity scene. The shepherds ,
the three kings (Aluding to Pilim.) a braying donkey...
PILIM
(returning it.)
A great big cow....
NICO andPILIM
And a load of sheep... (Imitating sheep:) Baaa! Baaaa! (They laugh. The
lights fade, and the sound of ships horns is overtaken by New Years
Day,by U2.)
Just dawn light returns and leaves the room almost dark. Crickets can be
heard outside. A car is heard approaching. The headlights illuminate the
room briefly. The car stops, the door opens and closes, the car starts up
and goes away. Silence. After a few moments a figure can be seen forcing
the window open and entering with difficulty.You can just make out a
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slim figure in jeans, a long coat and espadrilles and carrying a small
bag.
The figure enters the room, which seems to be as it was at the end of the
last scene. Goes to the little box set into the wall and turns off the alarm.
We hear it being turned off. The figure looks around as if looking for
someone or something. A distant bell chimes midnight.
The figure goes to the window and looks out as if expecting someone.
Returning to the room puts on one of the desk lamps and catches sight of
the board on which is written: XPTO forever. Pause. The ringing of a
mobile. Theres a message. The figure reads it puzzled. Thinks. Goes over
to the revolving tables, turns them round one by one and turns the lights
over them on. On the reverse of each table theres a hand-written
message:
Spending XMAS without you is 1 temporary fog. XPTO
Am still waiting 4 u. R u coming?
XMAS wenever u want. XPTO
New Year at the EPL is XPTO.
Its cool at the Colgio de Menores in Santarm. The people are cool.
The figure seems to sadden with the reading of the messages. A police
siren is heard. The figure is frightened. Freezes for a while, then moves
towards the sound equipment. Takes a K7 out of its pocket, puts it in and
waits to hear it. At a certaint moment goes to the bag it has brought,takes out a miniature collapsible Christmas tree, sets it up and decorates
it with coloured lights, while K7 continues playing.
NATLIASVOICE
(From the sound system)
Hello, Nico. Hello, Pilim. Today is Monday, the 23rd of June, 2003, just
after midnight. Im at the school, in the art room, as we arranged last
year. And, as it happens, exactly what I feared has happened: you havent
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HOODED FIGURE 1
Stop there!
HOODED FIGURE 2
Where do you think youre going, Miss?
NATLIA
Who are you?
HOODED FIGURES
(Taking off their hoods.)
Da-daaam!
Pilim is HOODED FIGURE 1 and Nico HOODED FIGURE 2. They fall
about laughing at Natlias predicament. She is puzzled, hardly believing
her eyes. Nico turns on the lights.
NATLIA(feigning anger but unable to contain her mirth.)
Youre the same old wretches! I almost died of fright!
NICO
Sorry Miss, but when we saw you coming in through the window...
PILIM
Wed just finished writing the messages. We hot-rodded it from Coimbra!
NICO
What?! Two hours ago we were still at the Colgio dos Olivais!
NATLIA
But werent you at EPL and the Colgio in Santarm?...
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NICO
Youre very un-elastic!
PILIM
Take this Christmas gift / But who is wrapped and not doing too bad...
NICOePILIM
Its you. / (Falsetto.) Ive wrapped up another one / Its you / Ive
wrapped up another one!
NICO
Laugh Laugh / But Christmas / in Portugal / is styrofoam! (They tear the
styrofoam box to bits in a frenzied climax.)
PILIM
Laugh laugh / But Christmas / in Portugal / is styrofoam!
NICOePILIM
Yo-yo-yo!
NATLIA
(Applauding.)
Brilliant! Fantastic!
NICO
That was great wasnt it?
A car is heard stopping in front of the school. The headlights are
reflected on the wall. The boys are scared and hide as an instinctive
reaction. Pilim starts humming quietly, in a state, the Mind da Gap tune.
The horn sounds, as if summoning someone.
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NICO
To Salamanca. With him.
NATLIA
No, not yet. I still dont know if I want to leave here, to change my life...
I think that first I have to resolve a lot of things, getting my place in the
school, getting to know myself better... (Happy.) And then dont we have
to go to a studio a month from now to make a recording? How could I
miss that chance with XPTO? (Pause. Moved.) Goodbye, Pilim.
PILIM
Bye, Miss. Have a good time in the Algarve.
NATLIA
Dont forget to let me know well in advance. Theres a lot of rehearsing
to do. (Pause.) Goodbye, Nicolau. See you.
NICO
(Doesnt answer. Keeping his head down he takes from his pocket the
scarf that hes kept for the past six months and holds it out to Natlia.
Not looking her in the face:)
A Christmas present for you. (Raises his head. They face each other for a
long moment in silence. Natlia takes the scarf.)
NATLIA
Thank you. (She remains looking at him, then leaves through the
window.)
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He starts singing and dancing. Goes over to Nico to make him dance
with him. Nicos tempted but doesnt want to give in, he remains
immobile. Pilim jumps onto the table and starts to do a performance,
singing and dancing as if he were on stage. After a while, Nico cant
resist and jumps up on the table too. They give a great performance of
the Wham number. In the background the XPTO is illuminated. On the
board the album cover with Natlia and the boys is projected. The front
lights dim leaving the silhouettes of the two boys, singing and dancing
like crazy with the projection on the board and the huge poster in the
background. After a few moments the lights fade.
THE END