writing theory essay comments
TRANSCRIPT
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Ashton Jordan
English 1102
Professor Padgett
9th April 2013
Title?
Through out a persons life there are struggles every individual has to endeavor,
and everyone has their own way to cope with these circumstances. Growing up in a stable
household and never facing many hardships life always felt easy through out my
childhood. I always made good grades, performed well in athletics, and thankfully never
had to endure a family crisis. My first true hardship happened when I was 10 years old,
and Ill never forget that for the rest of my life. At the time I did not know how to react or
cope with the situation, and my mother could tell. My mother said when she was a little
girl she used to write all herstresses, and crisis in a journal. She told me that it could be
a good way to deal with the pain, and honestly it was one of the best decisions I have ever
made. To this day, I write in my journal about my daily struggles, and it is honestly one
of the only things that keeps me stress- free.
I have always been a successful writer, and it has always been something I have
been passionate in. Writing has always been one of those things that I dont see as a chore
but more as an opportunity to learn more about myself as a writer. My parents have
alwaysbeen very stressedful with me on how education makes you who you are in the
future.
Looking through my writing from my childhood to where I am today, it surprises
me of the progress I have made. I know over time your vocabulary becomes more define,
Formatted: Centered
Comment [AP1]: Okay, so it seem
are going for more of a personal na
Almost like a literacy narrative.
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but the things I used to write about still intrigue me today. Growing up I always used to
write about my daily life, and write short stories using my imagination. My teachers used
to always use my writing as examples to the class not only for it being grammatically
correct each time, fore they could tell how much heart I put into my work.
From elementary school to my years in college today teachers always had
different laws when writing. In elementary school teachers always used the expression
More is less. I have always used this phrase when I write because I honestly believe it.
I would rather write a two-page paper that had all the aspects needed to be addressed
than a five-page paper filled with fluff and stuff prevalent to the topic. When I was in
middle school teachers always told us to write three paragraph essays including an
introduction, a body paragraph, and a conclusion. I never really liked that format because
I always had too much information to sum it up into one paragraph. Teachers would
always get irritated with me because I always used my mothers advice to use the five-
paragraph format. One of the most depressing days in my writing career was when I was
in seventh grade and had to write a paper on the great basketball player Pete Maravich.
Known to be the best basketball player of all time before Michael Jordan entered the
league, there was too much information to follow her guidelines. I turned in the paper and
she failed me due to her strict guidelines. My mother said it was one of the best
biographies shes read, and I entered it into a contest. One of the things I learned from
this experience was not to let peoplesjudgment on a paper get you down. If you firmly
believe in your writing that is all that matters in the long run.
I always loved reading Madeline LEngles novels growing up due to her desire to
be a successful writer. Before her novelA Wrinkle In Time was published she was denied
Comment [AP2]: Do you mean lemore?
Comment [AP3]: What do you me
use the phrase?
Comment [AP4]: Why is 5 better Does the specific number of paragr
matter at all?
Comment [AP5]: So in the contexworkshop, would you ignore all the
criticism because you believe in yo
writing?
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a total of 29 times before it was published. Reading her autobiographies she said she
never got demotivated from their opinions but they inspired to become a better writer.
She was one of the big reasons why I wanted to become an English major growing up,
besides my mother. I have always been fascinated with fantasy novels such as C.S.
Lewis The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. His series was denied a stunning 800
times before making his big break.
My personal opinion of bad writing and good writing defers differs from
other peoples opinions. When reading someones work I need to feel their passion in
their writing. Its hard reading a paper with a dull tone, and not a lot of emphasis in it.
One of my least favorite books is the novelEragonby Christopher Paolini. He always
didnt describe the book well, not including details that could make the reader confused.
It seemed as if he tried to rush through the book. A novel that I personally believe is
good writing is Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. Through out his career he said
that he had a rough life dealing with severe depression. Writing he said saved his life.
Growing up he would write short stories for he said it got his mind of his stresses.
Through out history is shown that writing is shown to relieve depression, and help relieve
stresses in someones life.
At the end of every semester I read the essays, and stories I compose to see the
progress I make with my writing. Every semester my writing greatly improves, not just
grammatically, but I show more passion for each topic I write. After reading my essay on
The geniuses from the novel Outliers I can see that I did not show enough personal
opinion in my writing but it was more of a summary of the book. This paragraph really
sticks out to me because it is a prime example of how my essay was a summary. The
Comment [AP6]: Could you give atextual example?
Comment [AP7]:The usage of thefor is throwing me. Seems to have
same semantic rhythms as the bibl
old text.
Formatted: Indent: First line: 0.5
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result of his experiment showed that none of his geniuses made great strives in society.
All though they were pretty wealthy, his hypothesis was incorrect when he stated that
there would be huge strives in medicine, art, government, education, and many Nobel
Prize Winners. There were two students at an elementary school in California that his
field agents studied but decided that their IQ was not to their standards so they did not
choose to make further tests on them. These two students ended up winning the Nobel
Prize. At first I did not know how to attack the topic because I did not how the teacher
would like if I added how I really felt about the topic. After typing this essay it really
showed me how much I have improved as a writer. It made me read all my papers to see
the dramatic improvements in it. The following paragraph was an essay I had to write on
how Women changed the outcome of World War II. This was an essay I put a lot of pride
in because my family has always been a military family, with my grandmother being a
nurse in this time period. I received her personal stories, and it really made me feel as if I
was in that time period. I had passion to what I was writing. Throughout World War II
the American women showedpatriotism even if they were not performing military duty in
Europe. They excelled in the factories making supplies necessary to fight in the war.
American women ignored the disrespect the society was saying. They were determined to
work in society and make a name of them selves. Women were quoted to have better
motor skills than men, which was said to be from the common practice of needle work so
they were useful with wire fuses on bombs and to fill metal casings with gun powder.
Many accidents came out of the factories. Over 210,000 women were permanently
disabled and at least 37,000 lost their lives. Even though the majority of women were not
at the battlefields in Europe, they were heroic taking on the previously male jobs. From
Comment [AP8]: You should bloclarge chunks of text.
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being pilots to being undercover agents women fought proudly for their country, earning
respect from both society and the world. They were the turning point of World War II,
without their patriotism the outcome of the war may have been different.
Writing truly makes a difference in the life of the writer, helping to deal with
personal catastrophes. Through history the majority of successful writers were dealing
tragedies and wrote with extreme passion in their writing such as John Steinbeck. It
personally has helped me through out my life, and has made set high expectations not
only in writing but also in my life. After learning how to write at the age of three, I
always was fascinated with it. Writing always helped me through tough situations, and
has made me the person I am today.
Ashton,
I really like the personal narrative youve constructed here. The personal investment is
really clear in your writing and it shows, serving your writing well. From what I can
gather, your discussion is more about the role writing can play in ones life and then
you round out your discussion on some missteps youve had as a writer. I guess I
would like to see more cohesion here. Some uniformity. When you end on Writing
always helped me thorough tough situation that really tells me that that is the
corner stone of the essay. With that in mind, your discussion on misunderstanding a
writing assignment seems out of place. Almost like filler. Yes people write filler and
fluff to reach a page requirement. (BTW, I dont think people write fluff because
theres notenough to say). But thats the impression I got from reading the last page
Comment [AP9]: How much of thnecessary to quote. Do I have to rea
entire thing or can you just give mehighlights?
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and a half. Now I could be off base, but as a reader, that was my impression. If this
essay is to be about the value of writing, make every paragraph about the value of
writing. And if good writing is writing that impacts readers in a similar way, then
write about that.