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    Ashton Jordan

    English 1102

    Professor Padgett

    9th April 2013

    Title?

    Through out a persons life there are struggles every individual has to endeavor,

    and everyone has their own way to cope with these circumstances. Growing up in a stable

    household and never facing many hardships life always felt easy through out my

    childhood. I always made good grades, performed well in athletics, and thankfully never

    had to endure a family crisis. My first true hardship happened when I was 10 years old,

    and Ill never forget that for the rest of my life. At the time I did not know how to react or

    cope with the situation, and my mother could tell. My mother said when she was a little

    girl she used to write all herstresses, and crisis in a journal. She told me that it could be

    a good way to deal with the pain, and honestly it was one of the best decisions I have ever

    made. To this day, I write in my journal about my daily struggles, and it is honestly one

    of the only things that keeps me stress- free.

    I have always been a successful writer, and it has always been something I have

    been passionate in. Writing has always been one of those things that I dont see as a chore

    but more as an opportunity to learn more about myself as a writer. My parents have

    alwaysbeen very stressedful with me on how education makes you who you are in the

    future.

    Looking through my writing from my childhood to where I am today, it surprises

    me of the progress I have made. I know over time your vocabulary becomes more define,

    Formatted: Centered

    Comment [AP1]: Okay, so it seem

    are going for more of a personal na

    Almost like a literacy narrative.

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    but the things I used to write about still intrigue me today. Growing up I always used to

    write about my daily life, and write short stories using my imagination. My teachers used

    to always use my writing as examples to the class not only for it being grammatically

    correct each time, fore they could tell how much heart I put into my work.

    From elementary school to my years in college today teachers always had

    different laws when writing. In elementary school teachers always used the expression

    More is less. I have always used this phrase when I write because I honestly believe it.

    I would rather write a two-page paper that had all the aspects needed to be addressed

    than a five-page paper filled with fluff and stuff prevalent to the topic. When I was in

    middle school teachers always told us to write three paragraph essays including an

    introduction, a body paragraph, and a conclusion. I never really liked that format because

    I always had too much information to sum it up into one paragraph. Teachers would

    always get irritated with me because I always used my mothers advice to use the five-

    paragraph format. One of the most depressing days in my writing career was when I was

    in seventh grade and had to write a paper on the great basketball player Pete Maravich.

    Known to be the best basketball player of all time before Michael Jordan entered the

    league, there was too much information to follow her guidelines. I turned in the paper and

    she failed me due to her strict guidelines. My mother said it was one of the best

    biographies shes read, and I entered it into a contest. One of the things I learned from

    this experience was not to let peoplesjudgment on a paper get you down. If you firmly

    believe in your writing that is all that matters in the long run.

    I always loved reading Madeline LEngles novels growing up due to her desire to

    be a successful writer. Before her novelA Wrinkle In Time was published she was denied

    Comment [AP2]: Do you mean lemore?

    Comment [AP3]: What do you me

    use the phrase?

    Comment [AP4]: Why is 5 better Does the specific number of paragr

    matter at all?

    Comment [AP5]: So in the contexworkshop, would you ignore all the

    criticism because you believe in yo

    writing?

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    a total of 29 times before it was published. Reading her autobiographies she said she

    never got demotivated from their opinions but they inspired to become a better writer.

    She was one of the big reasons why I wanted to become an English major growing up,

    besides my mother. I have always been fascinated with fantasy novels such as C.S.

    Lewis The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. His series was denied a stunning 800

    times before making his big break.

    My personal opinion of bad writing and good writing defers differs from

    other peoples opinions. When reading someones work I need to feel their passion in

    their writing. Its hard reading a paper with a dull tone, and not a lot of emphasis in it.

    One of my least favorite books is the novelEragonby Christopher Paolini. He always

    didnt describe the book well, not including details that could make the reader confused.

    It seemed as if he tried to rush through the book. A novel that I personally believe is

    good writing is Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. Through out his career he said

    that he had a rough life dealing with severe depression. Writing he said saved his life.

    Growing up he would write short stories for he said it got his mind of his stresses.

    Through out history is shown that writing is shown to relieve depression, and help relieve

    stresses in someones life.

    At the end of every semester I read the essays, and stories I compose to see the

    progress I make with my writing. Every semester my writing greatly improves, not just

    grammatically, but I show more passion for each topic I write. After reading my essay on

    The geniuses from the novel Outliers I can see that I did not show enough personal

    opinion in my writing but it was more of a summary of the book. This paragraph really

    sticks out to me because it is a prime example of how my essay was a summary. The

    Comment [AP6]: Could you give atextual example?

    Comment [AP7]:The usage of thefor is throwing me. Seems to have

    same semantic rhythms as the bibl

    old text.

    Formatted: Indent: First line: 0.5

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    result of his experiment showed that none of his geniuses made great strives in society.

    All though they were pretty wealthy, his hypothesis was incorrect when he stated that

    there would be huge strives in medicine, art, government, education, and many Nobel

    Prize Winners. There were two students at an elementary school in California that his

    field agents studied but decided that their IQ was not to their standards so they did not

    choose to make further tests on them. These two students ended up winning the Nobel

    Prize. At first I did not know how to attack the topic because I did not how the teacher

    would like if I added how I really felt about the topic. After typing this essay it really

    showed me how much I have improved as a writer. It made me read all my papers to see

    the dramatic improvements in it. The following paragraph was an essay I had to write on

    how Women changed the outcome of World War II. This was an essay I put a lot of pride

    in because my family has always been a military family, with my grandmother being a

    nurse in this time period. I received her personal stories, and it really made me feel as if I

    was in that time period. I had passion to what I was writing. Throughout World War II

    the American women showedpatriotism even if they were not performing military duty in

    Europe. They excelled in the factories making supplies necessary to fight in the war.

    American women ignored the disrespect the society was saying. They were determined to

    work in society and make a name of them selves. Women were quoted to have better

    motor skills than men, which was said to be from the common practice of needle work so

    they were useful with wire fuses on bombs and to fill metal casings with gun powder.

    Many accidents came out of the factories. Over 210,000 women were permanently

    disabled and at least 37,000 lost their lives. Even though the majority of women were not

    at the battlefields in Europe, they were heroic taking on the previously male jobs. From

    Comment [AP8]: You should bloclarge chunks of text.

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    being pilots to being undercover agents women fought proudly for their country, earning

    respect from both society and the world. They were the turning point of World War II,

    without their patriotism the outcome of the war may have been different.

    Writing truly makes a difference in the life of the writer, helping to deal with

    personal catastrophes. Through history the majority of successful writers were dealing

    tragedies and wrote with extreme passion in their writing such as John Steinbeck. It

    personally has helped me through out my life, and has made set high expectations not

    only in writing but also in my life. After learning how to write at the age of three, I

    always was fascinated with it. Writing always helped me through tough situations, and

    has made me the person I am today.

    Ashton,

    I really like the personal narrative youve constructed here. The personal investment is

    really clear in your writing and it shows, serving your writing well. From what I can

    gather, your discussion is more about the role writing can play in ones life and then

    you round out your discussion on some missteps youve had as a writer. I guess I

    would like to see more cohesion here. Some uniformity. When you end on Writing

    always helped me thorough tough situation that really tells me that that is the

    corner stone of the essay. With that in mind, your discussion on misunderstanding a

    writing assignment seems out of place. Almost like filler. Yes people write filler and

    fluff to reach a page requirement. (BTW, I dont think people write fluff because

    theres notenough to say). But thats the impression I got from reading the last page

    Comment [AP9]: How much of thnecessary to quote. Do I have to rea

    entire thing or can you just give mehighlights?

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    and a half. Now I could be off base, but as a reader, that was my impression. If this

    essay is to be about the value of writing, make every paragraph about the value of

    writing. And if good writing is writing that impacts readers in a similar way, then

    write about that.