writing style mapping for the reader: paragraphs map
TRANSCRIPT
Writing Style
Mapping for the reader: Paragraphs
MAP
MAP: Prune for Precision
Try to write almost like the way you speak.
Blackout order of 1942
Such preparations shall be made as will completely obscure all Federal buildings and non-federal buildings occupied by the federal government during an air raid for any period of time from visibility by reason of internal or external illumination.
President Roosevelt said:“Tell them that in buildings where they have to keep the work going to put something across the windows.” William Zinsser, On Writing Well
Word Choice Instead of:
utilizedeemduring the course ofwith respect tomake use ofdespite the fact thatgive consideration to
Use:usethinkduringaboutusealthoughconsider
When you prune, you remove the dead wood.
The following report outlines the different
aspects relating to the current feasibility
of constructing a magnetically levitated
bullet train in Central Texas.
Can you prune these sentences?
• Did you get rid of the empty pronoun??
The population explosion in and around the Austin
area has proved to be problematic regarding water-
drainage structures. It has particularly affected the
Brushy Creek area in southern Williamson County.
Sometimes, combining sentences makes a shorter passage.
The population explosion in the Austin area has
proved to be problematic for water-drainage
structures, particularly in the Brushy Creek area of
southern Williamson County.
Combining sentences produces longer sentences, but longer sentences may reduce overall number of words! The old second sentence is now a dependent or subordinate clause.
Turning verbs into nouns makes sentences longer and more abstract.
The thermal decomposition of the TMAH occurs rapidly at these temperatures and results in the formation of trimethylamine and methyl alcohol.
TMAH decomposes quickly at these temperatures and forms trimethylamine and methyl alcohol.
Subordinating Words: be careful of sentence fragments!
Subordinating words link parts of a sentence together by subordinating one of the clauses:Examples: after, although, because, since, when,
while
The manager was late to the meeting. Because the plane was late.The manager was late to the meeting because the plane was late.
incorrect:
correct:
Subordinating Words Although the data on VOC emissions have been questioned by the
company.
Although the data on VOC emissions have been questioned by the company, the ruling was upheld.
Subordinating words are not transitions (grammatically).
Subordinating words after although because since
Transitional words meanwhile therefore, thus nevertheless however
Make a clause subordinate.
Although the data on VOC emissions have been questioned by the company,. . .
Keep a clause independent.
Thus, the data on VOC emissions have been questioned by the company.
Technical Communication Style: Words
These are the small things that drive you crazy:
Subject doesn’t agree with its verb. Modifying phrase or word in wrong
place. Dangling/misplaced modifiers Limiting modifiers
How to denote numbers? When to use which word?
Subject has to agree with its verb. The projected increase in production rate and
period, in spite of lowered profit margins, are sufficient to keep the company solvent.
The data gathered by a prominent researcher has proven to be false.
Each of the ideas are very helpful. None of the tubes have been tested. The committee agrees on all major points.
Dangling Modifiers
Having broken down many times in the past, we knew that we could not rely on that equipment.
having broken down many times in the past, the equipment could not be relied upon.
We knew that,
Dangling modifiers are a subset of misplaced modifiers.
Dangling modifiers happen at the beginning of a sentence. They often begin with an –ing verb: Having
Misplaced modifiers can happen anywhere in a sentence. The other day I shot an elephant in my
pajamas. They are often prepositional phrases.
Limiting Modifiers
These are easily misplaced one –word modifiers. Their placement changes the meaning of the sentence.
The instructor just nodded to me as she came in.
The instructor nodded to me just as she came in.
The instructor nodded just to me as she came in.
How to denote numbers . . . Check with style sheet in your organization –
follow it If no style sheet, follow these guidelines:
Write out numbers “one” through “ten.” Do not mix numerals and words for items in same
list, except when quantities are adjacent: wrong: 15 wells, three aquifers wrong: 11 90-ohm resistors
Use words for approximations wrong: 1/3 of the energy requirement
Use numerals for these items: units of measure: 4 inches time: 8-second
delay percentages page numbers money: $6 ratios: 3 to 1 odds
These pairs are the most commonly misused words.
affect/effect among/between imply/infer criteria/criterion data/datum cite/site
mostly, affect is the verb among for more than two Imply is your intention.
Infer is your discovery. criteria is plural data is plural site is the place
cite is the verb form of “citation”
Next time . . . .
Commonly Misused Words
affect/effect among/between imply/infer criteria/criterion data/datum cite/site