Women and Kabbalah

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Women and Kabbalah

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Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION 5

THE NATURE AND ROLE OF WOMEN IN KABBALAH 7

What is the importance of women in Kabbalah? 7

What is the nature of a woman, and how does her nature differ

from that of a man? 8

What are the roles of women, and how do they differ from those

of the men? 9

Why do women suffer more than men, and what does this mean

spiritually? 11

INNER WORK OF A WOMAN 13

How does a woman see others as already being corrected? 13

How does a woman aim herself correctly toward the goal in the

most efficient way? 14

DISSEMINATION 16

Why is it important for women to become involved in

dissemination projects? 16

How do women disseminate, and what is the most efficient and

correct way? 17

To whom should women disseminate and to whom not? 19

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VISIBILITY OF WOMEN 21

Why are no women’s questions asked of Rav during the

morning lessons? 21

What can be said to women who find the separation between

men and women demeaning? 22

How did the feminist movement contribute to our development? 24

CORRECTION OF A WOMAN'S SOUL 26

What is the root of a woman’s soul, and how does it differ from a

man’s? 26

How is a woman more corrected and closer to nature than a

man? 28

What is a woman’s greatest and deepest desire, and how does it

differ from a man’s? 29

What needs to be corrected in a woman’s soul, and how is this

done? 30

If a female soul is the will to receive, how will this change during

correction? 33

Do women cross Machsom? 33

Do women need men to attain spirituality? 34

How does a woman know that she is making sufficient and

correct advancement? 36

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What are the ways in which women can approach the Creator? 36

Does a woman’s soul ever reincarnate in the body of a man, or

vice versa? 38

UNITY 40

What does unity mean for women, and how is it different from

men? 40

Why is it important for women to be organized? 41

RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER 43

How do women relate to each other— virtually and physically? 43

Why doesn’t Arvut apply to women? 45

What is the best relationship one woman can have with another? 47

Do women form their own groups? 48

CHILDREN 51

What is the role of women in nurturing their children with

respect to Kabbalah? 51

What is the role of the father in educating his children in

Kabbalah? 54

What if the parents disagree regarding the need to educate their

children in Kabbalah? 56

What is the best and most correct environment for a child? 57

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In lieu of an optimum environment for a child, how can the

influence of general society be mitigated? 60

Should a child be isolated or sheltered in any way? 64

SPOUSES WHO HAVE NO INTEREST IN KABBALAH 66

How does a woman attain spirituality if her husband has no

interest in Kabbalah? 66

What is the main help for a woman whose husband has no

interest in Kabbalah? 67

MARRIAGE 69

How can the wife create a correct environment in the home for

her husband? 69

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INTRODUCTION

Dear Women of the World Kli,

You are holding in your hands the result of a desire. Many

women have worked with this in order to help all women new

to the study of Kabbalah. The questions gathered are those asked

by women students of the BB Learning Center as they began

their journey. The answers were picked from Rav’s books,

lessons and talks. The questions asked arise from our need to

attain spirituality: we hunger for it, our hearts heavy with the

cry for it. We find ourselves ready to ‘DO’ anything in order to

achieve it by supporting our men towards the Goal.

To help guide us, Rav says:

“Women need to unite in mutual work with the goal of

wakening the men and bringing them together, so that the men

would unite with each other and reach the spiritual through this

unification. Then through unification and a mutual guarantee

between the men, the spiritual will also spread onto the women.

As a result, everyone will be a single union—the male and the

female part of the nation or of all mankind.”

But how do we accomplish that? Over and over, we internally

ask that question, the force of our need so great that the

questions burst forth—they come in many forms. The questions

presented here are simply the clothing for the deep longing that

we all feel.

In the answers, may we be reminded of our important role in

bringing all of humanity to the fulfilment of its Purpose.

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We would like to thank all those whose desires and efforts have

contributed to this project: Beverley von Lucken – Project

Manager (EWC); Brenda Jones – Project Coordinator; BB

Learning Center students – Susan Castagna, Kenya Olivera,

Liliana Altamirano, Michelene Benson, Olivia Hamilton, Sally

Stroud, Mirela Simonescu, Judy Frizzell, Kathleen Kurek and

Nicci DeMerchant; English Women’s Committee (EWC) – Leah

Goldberg, Susan Morales-Kosinec, Debbie Sirt, Denise Galante,

Judy Hobart, Nina Chulak and Inna Pavlova.

Only Together!

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THE NATURE AND ROLE OF WOMEN IN

KABBALAH

What is the importance of women in Kabbalah?

“Kabbalah allots a woman the main role in the world. It is

because the world's foremost development is its continuation,

and it is a woman who continues generations. She extends this

world from generation to generation; without her, it wouldn't be

able to exist. Besides, since she forms the basis for the next

generation's development—she educates and supports it—then

naturally, progress and in general, life itself is impossible

without a woman.”

“…This stems from our roots because creation as created is of

feminine gender. Malchut—a female component of the entire

creation—is what in fact was created. And a man is only an

auxiliary element that later perhaps leads her in some way, yet

he exists for her sake. That is, men in this world assumed a

totally wrong role. Their role in this world is auxiliary.

Throughout generations men are to help women continue and

correctly develop offspring.”

“…According to Kabbalah, the world exists around a woman. A

so-called Malchut is a female component of the world. Zeir

Anpin—her male part—exists only to help, support and fill her in

accordance with her desires.”

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“…A female part in particular has to direct a male component

how to act correctly for her sake. And then the world will move

toward correction.”

Woman in the Modern World, The Kabbalah Perspective,

August 17, 2007

http://files.kabbalahmedia.info/files/eng_t_rav_2007-08-

17_vconf_bb_jenskiy-forum.doc

What is the nature of a woman, and how does her nature

differ from that of a man?

“The essence of men and women is very different. As we know

from Kabbalah, we represent two different worlds. The essence

of a man comes from bestowal, and the essence of a woman –

from reception. However, both of them certainly have a part of

the other in them, and this is how we exist.”

“…A woman is nature. It is a very strong force, and it is

important for men to feel it. After all, it is not the same force that

a man possesses. A man is more torn away from our nature. He

is more of a philosopher and a rationalist. The force of a woman

is much more real.”

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, January 16, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2008-01-16_sicha_bb_q-a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_3.doc

***

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“In reality, a woman’s nature is a very good one. After all, a

woman’s ultimate necessity is to be given the opportunity to

express love. She wants to have a man that will be able to

apprehend the self-expression of her love and her desire to be

loved.

A man does not even need to express very much. She only needs

to know that he exists. In this case she is able to live by

developing her image of love in relation to him. I understand a

woman’s character and can only empathize and feel bad

together with you. Men are not ready for this; it is part of being

uncorrected. If they knew a woman needs only to be given the

opportunity to express her feelings and her devotion then they

would acquire very much. That which a woman must receive

from a man is such a triviality, yet she is unable to receive it.”

Kabbalah Library Home / Rav Michael Laitman / Booklets / Relationships / A Woman's Nature, Paragraph 1-2

http://www.kabbalah.info/eng/content/view/frame/27305?/eng/content/view/full/27305&main

What are the roles of women, and how do they differ

from those of the men?

“There is no discrimination in spirituality. Women, like men, must attain adhesion with the Creator, the highest degree in creation. But women study differently from men, and so are the ways in which women can approach the Creator.” “…The only difference lies in the method. The beginning of the learning process is the same. That is why in our introductory

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courses there is no difference between the method provided for men and for women.

Later on, if a person goes deeper into the study of the actual Kabbalah, the difference in the method becomes apparent. Men and women begin to feel the world differently, because men and women are indeed two different worlds and have a different perception of creation. ”

The Kabbalah Experience / Chapter 3. The Study of Kabbalah, Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, Sections: "Women Studying Kabbalah" and "Men and Women" http://www.kabbalah.info/eng/content/view/frame/37403

*** “In the natural order of things, woman constitutes the home. She

raises the children, runs the household, cooks, and greets her

husband. This stems from as far back as the Stone Age, and this

is how it should be today as well.”

“…Woman searches for the correct structure of the world. She is closer to nature and feels within that the present world structure is incorrect. This includes any and all interrelationships: with the children, within the family, between families, and, naturally, between nations.”

“...in the roots man prevails over woman. …Whereas a woman, seeing as she looks upon her man as though from below upwards, in accordance with the spiritual root, demands from him a higher level—not the animal one that he demands of her, but one that is spiritual, soulful, human, cultured and so forth. From this stem all the familiar differences in our world in the demands of men toward women and women toward men. This stems from the spiritual root and thus manifests in absolutely all

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forms and on all levels of our relationships: family, society, with our children (both girls and boys), and so forth—everywhere."

To the woman of XXI century / Man and Woman, A talk between the scientist and Kabbalist Michael Laitman with the Kabbalah Academy instructors, Michael Sanilevich and Yevgeniy Litvar, July 10, 2007, Sections: "What Does a Woman Want?" and "How Do We Understand One Another? http://www.kabbalah.info/eng/content/view/frame/46513

Why do women suffer more than men, and what does

this mean spiritually?

“......the woman, who represents the creature, really is the creature, the Hissaron, Malchut, the kingdom of desire. While

man, in a way is the representative of the Creator, the one that governs, the one that bestows and fulfills. Naturally the female part, regardless of the fact that it carries the most important function in our world—birth—continues, develops, basically makes our world comfortable. It holds it together, while at the same time feels like it is small, unfulfilled and imperfect, to a greater extent than a man does.

This inner sensation of dependency, the sensation of personal inferiority of some kind (psychologists such as Freud interpret this through a sexual point of view), in general comes as a root from the Light and from the desire that arises in it. In our world man perceives himself in accordance with this, and in this manner the woman perceives herself in accordance with him.

For this reason the female desire in our world is twice as deep.

On one hand it is so because it comes from the root itself, from

the creature itself, and on the other hand because it can not be

fulfilled on its own. It is only through proper work with each

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other, can the masculine and the feminine parts—the part of the

Light, of the Creator, of fulfillment and the part of the Kli, of the

desire—find their appropriate union together. Naturally this can

only happen in the spiritual world and not in our world.

Although in our world we try to find some kind of an illusion of

perfection in one way or another, it is impossible. Only on low

levels of egoism does it sometime seem to us that we are capable

of attaining it in this illusion.

There can be no proper relationships and love in our world. As

they can only be a consequence if this contact is completely

rendered in the spiritual world, on a spiritual level, through

mutual bestowing-receiving, above-egoism, then we will be able

to experience this not within our bodies, but in the souls.

This is why there is always a women’s lesson, out of respect for that sensation of an uncompensated, unfulfilled desire, a Kli that

the woman feels and that she can not fulfill at all in this world. Although she might have everything, a home, family, children, and still for some reason there is nothing. This is so because all of it comes from the Purpose of creation.”

Toronto Congress, Lesson for Women 2006, Lesson for Women by Rav Michael Laitman, Bnei Baruch, Toronto, Canada, July 30, 2006, Paragraphs 4-8 http://www.kabbalah.info/eng/content/view/frame/47754

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INNER WORK OF A WOMAN

How does a woman see others as already being corrected?

Question: In one of your talks you mentioned that women know

how to love or have this ability and men don’t. If we are all

egoistic, then what kind of love can women give?

Rav’s answer: Egoistic love. A woman can take care of the

people whom she egoistically loves or respects.

Question: Dear Rav, I have been studying Kabbalah for some

time. I realize fully that I am totally egocentric and hope that the

Creator will help me with this. But I also seem to note more than

ever the egocentrism of other people in my every day life and I

really don’t like it. What can I do to overcome judgment and be

at least polite to them if not compassionate, which I find very

hard to do?

Rav’s answer: What you are seeing in others is your own

reflection, according to the rule “Everyone who condemns

others, condemns himself.” However, if you loved them, then

you would love their egoism as well - just like you would a baby

of yours.

laitman.com, Kabbalah and the Meaning of Life – Michael

Laitman’s Personal Blog, “A Woman Can Love Others –

Egoistically,” Posted August 20, 2008

http://www.laitman.com/2008/08/a-woman-can-love-others-

egoistically/

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***

Question: Dear Rav, when you talk about distinguishing

between Factory and Group, then as a woman working in

dissemination, does my intention change? Should I think of the

two as different entities?

Rav’s answer: For you as a woman, it doesn’t matter at all what

is happening inside the group. You advance to the extent that

you contribute to the common advancement, regardless of how

correctly the men in the group realize the opportunities for

unification given to them. You advance independently of the

men’s state.

laitman.com, Kabbalah and the Meaning of Life – Michael

Laitman’s Personal Blog, “A Woman Can Advance

Independently,” Posted August 22, 2008

http://www.laitman.com/2008/08/a-woman-can-advance-

independently/

How does a woman aim herself correctly toward the goal

in the most efficient way?

“By disseminating, you correct your ‘self’. It seems like it’s

outside of you, in others, but in fact it’s your spiritual body. So

by bestowing and loving others, you’re really bestowing and

loving yourself! It’s because this attitude to others allows you to

acquire their desires and their Light.”

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laitman.com, Kabbalah and the Meaning of Life – Michael Laitman’s Personal Blog, “By Disseminating the Wisdom of Kabbalah, You Correct Your “Self””, Posted July 25, 2008 http://www.laitman.com/2008/07/by-disseminating-the-wisdom-of-kabbalah-you-correct-your-self/

***

“Try to find some kind of dissemination work to do, this will

make you obligated and attached, and give you motivation to

develop. The participation in the common work will increase

your attainment, give you support, and enable you to correctly

assess the value of this world.”

laitman.com, Kabbalah and the Meaning of Life – Michael

Laitman’s Personal Blog, “Advice for Beginners - Disseminate!”,

Posted July 13, 2008.

http://www.laitman.com/2008/07/advice-for-beginners-

disseminate/

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DISSEMINATION

Why is it important for women to become involved in

dissemination projects?

“Women should understand that they are responsible for the

men’s desire to advance spiritually. This pertains to all of the

male kind because we are talking about occurrences in the

spiritual, where we are united. The female part and the male

part in the spiritual are across from each other and act together

harmoniously. Women oblige men to attract Upper fulfillment,

and then this fulfillment is divided onto all.

…The dissemination of Kabbalah, their relationship with each

other, their collaborative studies and work—everything should

have the intention to clarify their desire toward the spiritual in

the most precise manner: 'what is the most clear and beneficial

way that we can give our desire to the men, so that they would

act just as beneficially and effectively in their work in attracting

spiritual fulfillment?' Then together, the male and the female

part of humanity rise toward the Upper Light and a better life in

the material world. All of this needs to be done by women.”

“A woman doesn’t need to understand in detail the arrangement

of the universe and to know the acting mechanism of the laws of

spiritual physics. For a woman it is enough to have a general

understanding, and she should devote all other time to

dissemination and help. Because of this she joins the male part

and gives them her desire, her Hissaron. This is her spiritual

contribution, through which she becomes corrected.”

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About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, Talk 2, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, December 19, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2007-12-19_sicha_bb_q&a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_2.doc

How do women disseminate, and what is the most

efficient and correct way?

“At least one hour a day you should listen to my lesson or talk.”

“…The rest of the hours during the day, if you have them, have

to be used only for circulation—translations, book distribution,

work with films, texts, what have you. This is where the source

of success lies—if you invest your efforts here. From there, a

woman bears something into this world, and it is specifically

through her that all this wisdom comes and spreads into the

entire world.”

…All that you see on the Internet, all the material that we

present to you—from the beginning to an end—is prepared and

posted on the site, and organized by women. I am not just telling

you that now, you can hear the same from all of our men: it is

impossible to do anything in Kabbalah without a woman—

without her participation, her outlook, without her skill to

organize, support, put together, and prepare things. It is

impossible without that.

…Hence “I recommend that each of you find an opportunity for

yourself to take part in circulation.”

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“…To the measure to which I invest my efforts into a collective

Kli and connect to it, to the measure to which I circulate in the

world the knowledge about the reason for and purpose of

creation, about the process of its development and its goal which

we, willingly or not, must reach, to this measure I receive the

help from Above, from the Creator.

Ultimately, I circulate the name of the Creator in the world, and

then it is not important whether someone knows about me or

not, remembers me or not—to that measure I progress. There are

no calculations here when the most important thing is that

people would know about me and so on. No. A simple

calculation is in effect here; I receive back as much as I put

inside, only multiplied many times, from the same power, the

same Creator, the same Upper Light. And no matter how much

rush there is around me, it will not help. Work is examined by

my entering into the collective soul.”

From: The North American Kabbalah Congress, "The Next Step," Rav Laitman's Talk with Women. September 25, 2005 http://files.kabbalahmedia.info/files/eng_TRANS_AmericanCongress_ShiurNashim_25-09-05.doc

***

“The inner work of a woman is similar to her regular work in

this world. This is a part that gives birth to the next generation.

True, she does it with the help of a man, being supported by

him, but she gives birth, the descendents come out of her. Hence

the main work of women is not in studying, but in circulation.”

”…She has to study just a little bit in order to have energy to

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circulate, to carry out further correction the same way as she

gives birth, reproduces, passes on the knowledge.”

From: The North American Kabbalah Congress, "The Next Step," Rav Laitman's Talk with Women. September 25, 2005 http://files.kabbalahmedia.info/files/eng_TRANS_AmericanCongress_ShiurNashim_25-09-05.doc

To whom should women disseminate and to whom not?

“We have to disseminate Kabbalah to all the people in the world,

accept the world as a whole, and provide every person with

everything they need for correction no matter where they are

located. All the people in the world are sick with the same illness

– egoism, which separates them from the Light of life. Hence,

everyone needs the medication – the Upper Light. This is what

we believe, and this is why we disseminate Kabbalah to

everyone. After that, it’s up to the person to take the medicine

now, or later on - when he will feel his illness at a more

advanced stage.”

laitman.com, Kabbalah and the Meaning of Life – Michael

Latiman’s Personal Blog, “All the People in the World Are Sick With the Same Illness.” Posted August 13, 2008 http://www.laitman.com/2008/08/all-the-people-in-the-world-are-sick-with-the-same-illness/

***

“…You have to be in contact with the external world in order to

stay balanced inside - and the best contact is through

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dissemination. However, you shouldn’t disseminate among the

people you know, since by doing so you’ll greatly limit yourself

in regular life. But dissemination is necessary, and you should

do it among strangers. When you do something for others, you

balance your knowledge and your states with the common

system of souls - and this moves and accelerates your spiritual

growth.”

laitman.com, Kabbalah and the Meaning of Life – Michael

Latiman’s Personal Blog, “Advice for Beginners – Disseminate!”,

Posted July 13th, 2008

http://www.laitman.com/2008/07/advice-for-beginners-

disseminate/

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VISIBILITY OF WOMEN

Why are no women’s questions asked of Rav during the

morning lessons?

“No, that’s not true. First of all, we receive questions for the TV

show Ask a Kabbalist, and I also give lectures in a lecture hall

called Beit Kabbalah LaAm, where I answer everyone who attends

the lectures. I don’t think there is a single question that we don’t

clarify during our studies. These questions are asked by men

from Israel and from all over the world.

During our lessons, people ask questions through the Internet,

and a woman can also ask a question this way under any name

she wants. No one will try to figure out whose name it is. If the

question has to do with our topic, I will gladly answer it, even if

the question comes from a woman and not a man.

That means there is no problem. A woman who wants to receive

the answers to her questions will receive them. She just needs to

have the desire.”

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, December 11, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2007-12-11_sicha_bb_q&a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha.doc

***

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“It is very desirable that there will be a separate organization in

the States—a few women or even one woman, able to collect all

the women’s questions and problems, to focus on them and pass

them to us. Start discussing this, write to each other, each of you

should have all the addresses. Create a database of women so

that you know who can do something, help in something, how

each of you can be assisted.

…Believe me that everyone has all of the same problems that

each of you goes through—descents, different thoughts—this

exists in each of you. Hence, write me, and I will answer each

question, show you where it is written in the book, explain to

you how to continue and overcome any obstacle, how to use it,

and why each of you receive a certain state (suddenly something

good, or, G-d forbid, bad). All of this happens for a reason, and

we have to learn from these states how to progress based on

them. Then everything will be useful.”

The North American Kabbalah Congress, “The Next Step” Rav Michael Laitman's Talk with Women, September 25, 2005 http://files.kabbalahmedia.info/files/eng_TRANS_AmericanCongress_ShiurNashim_25-09-05.doc

What can be said to women who find the separation

between men and women demeaning?

“In order to correct a woman’s soul, being at live lessons won’t help, and why else would one need all this? By doing so, a woman will bring distortion into the group and only lose out in

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the process. So, don’t strive for this, stay home. I’m telling you seriously. Please understand that such are the laws of nature. You can’t change this. In Bnei Baruch, Israel we also have plenty of such women who want to worm themselves in everywhere.

You don’t need any of this.

A woman should quietly help from home and put pressures through the others, the way she knows how to. We’ll learn how to do this, I’ll teach you. Women gain when they pressure the men correctly and force them toward unification and attainment. What can you get from sitting next to the men at the lessons? So you sit there, hug them, sing with them, drink a little, so what? This doesn’t mean anything for a woman’s soul. ….We will study the appropriate material with the female part as well. Don’t see just the male part of humanity as that which is doing correction. Instead you should feel that women are not just equal but rather the main participants in this process because the correction happens for your sake, for the sake of the spiritual female part.

…However, women have different intentions. A woman’s intention is to bring the entire woman’s group to a state where they compel the men to pay attention to spiritual development. The men lack this pressure, even though they don’t realize it yet. However, they will realize that they need serious women around

them who will push them ahead and direct them.

They don’t need to feel these women or see them. They simply need to feel that there is this pressure from within. It is the same way a man goes to work in the morning, knowing that he has to do it because he has his house, family and kids on his shoulders, therefore he feels obliged. Such an obligation must also be felt by a man in regard to the spiritual. He must not only feel his personal obligation, but also particularly this need from the

women. This is not simple.”

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Kabbalah Library Home / Rav Michael Laitman / Talks / To the woman of XXI century, “About the Need for Women to Unite” http://www.kabbalah.info/eng/content/view/frame/46460?/eng/content/view/full/46460&main

How did the feminist movement contribute to our

development?

“Today it is already clear why women want to take everything upon themselves, why they don’t want to be dependent on men, why they’re organizing everything between themselves. They are naturally more dependent, but they don't want this dependence, because they cannot stand it. It is impossible to be dependent on the part of nature that suddenly begins to malfunction and fails to provide them with what they demand and deserve. Therefore, on one hand, the manifestations of feminism are unnatural, but on the other hand, they are a natural result of today's crisis.

And, of course, we need to take this into account. Do we have a choice?! This is the larger part of humanity, its “stronger half,” and right now it’s coming out ahead. Today there’s still the influence of religion and other remnants, which hinder this process. If, however, liberation of conventionalities takes place in religion and in all the other areas, where man traditionally held the leading role, our world will acquire an entirely different nature—the one that it should acquire to the extent of its corruption and oppositeness to the spiritual world. We’ve said that in the roots man prevails over woman, whereas in our case it is the opposite, as our world is truly opposite to the spiritual one.”

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“E. Litvar: Is this phenomenon positive or negative?

M. Laitman: Neither, it is natural—in equilibrium with nature. Nature thus balances itself between the two worlds. Hence, opposites must be located one opposite the other.

…It is precisely the fact that today woman is ahead and out at the forefront, that she asserts herself as dominant and a leader, as the stronger and more energetic constituent, whether she wants to or not, all this testifies to the fact that our world is uncorrected, wrecked and in a state of crisis.

As soon as we begin to emerge out of this crisis and utilize Kabbalah to do so, the natural contacts and interrelationships between our world and the Upper World will be established. Optimal relationships will begin to form within our world between all of its parts—man will instantly rise and become the leader in this life, and woman will gladly accept this. Man will become more dependable, not like he is today.”

Rav Michael Laitman / Talks / To the woman of XXI century / Man and Woman, A talk between the scientist and Kabbalist Michael Laitman with the Kabbalah Academy instructors, Michael Sanilevich and Yevgeniy Litvar, July 10, 2007, sections: What does a woman want? Paragraph 7 ff. and Should women rule the world? Paragraph 3 http://www.kabbalah.info/eng/content/view/frame/46513

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CORRECTION OF A WOMAN'S SOUL

What is the root of a woman’s soul, and how does it differ

from a man’s?

“According to the Kabbalah, the Creator, the giving force is the spiritual root of the male part of reality, and the soul's desire to receive the abundance is the feminine root of the female part of reality.”

Between Men and Women | kabbalah.info http://www.kabbalah.info/engkab/pressa/men_women.htm

***

“There are men and then there are women, because there is the Creator and then there's the creature, created by Him—two of them, two partners in this tango. There is the prototype of the Creator—the giving, dominant leader—that's the male root. And then there's the creature—receiving, drawing closer to the Creator, bringing them together—the female root. The same applies to our life in this world. If we were to act correctly, clearly understanding how these two roots are implanted in nature and interconnected, then we would do quite well—both men and women. After all, it is not just us, but all of the nature before us is divided from above downwards into clear-cut male

and female roots.”

Kabbalah Library Home / Rav Michael Laitman / Talks / To the woman of XXI century, “Man and Woman,” 10 July, 2007

Women and Kabbalah

27

http://www.kabbalah.info/eng/content/view/frame/46460?/eng/content/view/full/46460&main

Women and Kabbalah

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How is a woman more corrected and closer to nature than

a man?

“A woman looks for the meaning of occurrences more than men

do because she comes from the spiritual root where the feeling of

need is deeper than in men. Therefore, she feels it more. A man

comes from the side of the bestowing, from the side of the

Creator, while a woman comes from the side of creation.

…All creation consists of ten Sefirot, separated into two parts: the

first nine Sefirot pertain to the male structure, and the tenth Sefira

Malchut pertains to the female. To put it in simpler terms, Sefirot

mean “properties.” The first nine properties represent the

property of bestowal, which comes from above in relation to

Malchut, which is the creation. Hence, a man has an imprint of

the first nine Sefirot, and a woman has an imprint of Malchut, the

tenth Sefira. This tenth Sefira consists completely of the need to

receive fulfillment.”

“... However, in addition to the feeling of need, she also received a great power of opposition, restraint, and stability from nature. Everything is in balance in a woman.” About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, Talk 2, By Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, December 19, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel, Text-Q1-H3 http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2007-12-19_sicha_bb_q&a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_2.doc

***

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“A woman feels reality, the world, nature, and the ground

underneath her feet, differently because according to her nature,

she herself gives birth and continues life. There is a certain part

in her that men do not have. After all, the Creator gives birth and

continuation and a woman gives birth and continuation. So,

which one of us is more like the Creator is still in question. We,

men, lack the force that would allow us to give birth and to raise.

We are like a transmission link between the Creator and the

woman—just like Israel is the link between the Creator and the

nations of the world.”

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, Talk 3, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, January 16, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel, Text-Q31 http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2008-01-16_sicha_bb_q-a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_3.doc

What is a woman’s greatest and deepest desire, and how

does it differ from a man’s?

“It expresses all the secrets of their hearts, all the depth of the

desire for spiritual attainment and revelation of the answer to

the question “what is the meaning of my life,” which a woman

asks, all the sorrow caused by the fact that she is incapable of

attaining the spiritual alone and therefore feels a greater lack of

power than a man, since she wants to reach her correction.”

“…A woman is nature. It is a very strong force, and it is

important for men to feel it. After all, it is not the same force that

a man possesses. A man is more torn away from our nature. He

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30

is more of a philosopher and a rationalist. The force of a woman

is much more real.”

“...Her desire is natural and deep. Men can do anything they

want and become confused in different things, while a woman is

much more down to business. She strives for the spiritual

because she wants it. She understands that there is no life

without it. Men can still be tempted to go in different directions,

but a woman’s desire is much more deep, natural, and genuine.”

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, Talk 3, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, January 16, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2008-01-16_sicha_bb_q-a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_3.doc

What needs to be corrected in a woman’s soul, and how is

this done?

“A woman does not unite with other women in a group, in “love

for her neighbor or for

her girlfriends,” but rather she unites with other women only

through helping each other disseminate Kabbalah.

She doesn’t receive help directly from above, the way the men’s

group does, but receives it through the men’s group. This is

explained in the story about the reception of the Torah, where

the men carry out the condition of Mutual Guarantee (Arvut),

and the women support them with their desire. As a result they

receive it together - the men conduct the Light to the women.

The difference is only the order in which they receive the Light

from Above, and it practically doesn’t matter. That is to say, a

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31

woman doesn’t feel it in any way if she studies and

disseminates. Moreover, a woman should study Kabbalah only

to the extent that she feels a need to do so, and no more than

that, whereas the men are obligated to study between one and

three hours a day.”

Sailing On, Bnei Baruch World Kli’s Blog, “Woman’s Correction,” June 29, 2008 http://www.kabbalahgroup.info/eng/new/2008/06/the-woman%E2%80%99s-correction/

***

“A woman must study for at least half an hour a day. Moreover,

it is best if she listens to a part of the morning lesson on a daily

basis. Our lesson is divided into three parts, and the third part of

the lesson is usually more universal. Therefore, she can listen to

the third part of the lesson or to my lectures for the general

public.

A woman doesn’t need to understand in detail the arrangement

of the universe and to know the acting mechanism of the laws of

spiritual physics. For a woman it is enough to have a general

understanding, and she should devote all other time to

dissemination and help. Because of this she joins the male part

and gives them her desire, her Hissaron. This is her spiritual

contribution, through which she becomes corrected.”

About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, Talk 2, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, December 19, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel, Question 13

Women and Kabbalah

32

http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2007-12-19_sicha_bb_q&a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_2.doc

Women and Kabbalah

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If a female soul is the will to receive, how will this

change during correction?

“A woman is the desire, and a man is the correction of the desire, the intention of bestowal. In our world, a woman waits for a man to do something, such as to marry her, and her part in this is relatively passive. This comes from the spiritual roots: When the soul acquires the intention of bestowal, it is called a man, whereas a soul that’s unable to bestow is called a woman. The parts of the Kli or soul

are also called male and female for the same reason.

So, without paying attention to your gender in this world, start

being a man – that is, actively participate in your private

correction and humanity’s common correction! Otherwise,

regardless of your gender in this world, you are a woman.”

laitman.com, Kabbalah and the Meaning of Life – Michael Latiman’s Personal Blog, “Men, Women, and the Soul’s Correction”, Posted September 7, 2008 http://www.laitman.com/2008/09/men-women-and-the-souls-correction/

Do women cross Machsom?

“A woman enters Kabbalah and the upper world in the same way a man does.” “…During the period of incarnation when we are located in our world, before we pass the Machsom (the boundary separating our

world from the spiritual) and leave the perceptions of our world,

Women and Kabbalah

34

what type of body (male or female) our soul inhabits is significant. Afterwards, when souls pass the Machsom and enter

the perceptions of the Upper world, it is no longer significant who is a man and who is a woman. We will all be Kabbalists – the soul does not have a gender. Of course, there are differences between souls, but they are not purely based on gender. The differences regard what part of the common soul each of the souls relates to.”

Kabbalah Library Home / Rav Michael Laitman / Booklets / Relationships / The Purpose of Creation, paragraphs 14, 8 & 9. http://www.kabbalah.info/eng/content/view/frame/27303

Do women need men to attain spirituality?

“Yes. Women receive the Light through men. The duty to correct

themselves and the world lies solely on men. The wife’s role is to

help. Our world is designed in the likeness of the Upper World.

Learn from it.”

The Kabbalah Experience by Rav Michael Laitman, Chapter 12, “Reflections and Thoughts”, Page 417 eBook available at: http://www.kabbalah.info/engkab/learning-center/kabbalah-ebooks

***

“A man needs the desire for spiritual advancement that a

Women and Kabbalah

35

woman must give him. She must support and encourage him,

and give him strength. She should expect that he will attain the

spiritual. Due to this, equipped with strength and armor, a man

sets out for spiritual attainments the same way that formerly, he

left his cave to hunt and bring food home.

This is a very important part, through which a woman

supplements the work of a man, and without it a man cannot

reach the spiritual. Women are able to do this work wonderfully.

If we talk to psychologists, we see that everything a man does in

the world, he does in order to be liked by women. Pride,

strength, power, and the desire to rise above others, are to a

great extent roused by a man’s need to appear a man in the eyes

of a woman. This is a reflection of a spiritual state, which, of

course, is not connected to our egoism, but the attitude itself

remains.

In other words, an unsatisfied desire that emanates from a

woman, reaches a man, and the man uses this desire in order to

reach the spiritual. We can say that a woman wakes the desire in

a man, and the man turns this desire to the Upper Force,

acquires spiritual advancement for himself, and shares it with

the woman.”

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, December 11, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel, Paragraph 3, 12-14

http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2007-12-11_sicha_bb_q&a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha.doc

Women and Kabbalah

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How does a woman know that she is making sufficient

and correct advancement?

“Only the Creator knows and only He can give the answer

regarding our advancement. We must turn to Him with this

request and demand an answer. In Kabbalah it is called going

“above reason,” meaning above our knowledge and

understanding. Every step we make, if it is genuine, should

make us rise to the next degree. But the thoughts and desires in

the next degree are not just opposite to the ones in the current

degree; they are completely different!”

The Kabbalah Experience, Michael Laitman, PhD, Page 229

http://www.kabbalahmedia.info/mekorot/eng_o_ml-sefer-the-kabbalah-experience.pdf

What are the ways in which women can approach the

Creator?

Question: We received a question concerning women’s

intention. When a woman does dissemination or reads, should

her appeal be directed at the Creator, or should she address the

Creator through the male part?

Rav’s answer: No, her appeal should be to the Creator directly.

Women pray the same way as men do. Only the need for

fulfillment, which should be realized while she does this, goes

through the male part.

Women and Kabbalah

37

Let’s suppose that there is a woman who is somewhere on the

edge of the earth, and she has no men who study Kabbalah

nearby. She studies with us through the Internet in a different

language. How it happens is completely irrelevant.

Still, if a woman prays and asks the Upper Force for spiritual

elevation, it will nonetheless come through the Kli, which is

called the male part, and which is ultimately the common soul,

from which she receives the fulfillment.

Question: So, she needs to appeal directly to the Creator to the

extent that she feels Him?

Rav’s answer: We learn that in almost all cases, it is carried out

through the inclusion of Malchut into the Tet Rishonot (the first

nine Sefirot). This means that the female part tunes into the male

part, and then into the Creator. However, she doesn’t even need

to know about this. It is simply the way this process is arranged.

First Adam was created, and then from Adam, Chava and

everyone else (their children and so on) were created. It happens

the same way with us. We raise our pleas about fulfillment by

following the same path. In other words, Chava (the female part)

should transmit it to Adam, and he, in turn, transmits it above.

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, December 11, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel

http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2007-12-11_sicha_bb_q&a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha.doc

Women and Kabbalah

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Does a woman’s soul ever reincarnate in the body of a

man, or vice versa?

“The soul does have a specific gender: male or female. That attribute extends from the root of creation, from the very beginning. Zeir Anpin (male) and Malchut (female) of the world

of Atzilut are the prototypes of the genders in our world, and there are no greater opposites than these.

Throughout the system of creation, built from up downward,

there is a division, a separation into a feminine part and

masculine part.

The lower the degree of creation, the coarser and simpler it

becomes, and the more overlap there is between the masculine

and feminine parts.

For example, in plants there is almost no division by sex. But the

more the creatures develop, meaning the higher up they are on

the ladder of evolution, the more distinct they become.

In the spiritual world, this oppositeness is very obvious. One

does not cancel the other, but complements it. Without the

feminine part, the system of creation is inconceivable. The

masculine part depends on the feminine part and waits for it.”

“Yes, it is true men and women have different kinds of souls. But

the souls of men are neither better nor worse than those of

women. They are simply different kinds of souls, and hence their

corrections are different.”

Women and Kabbalah

39

The Kabbalah Experience, by Rav Michael Laitman, Chapter 6,

“Soul, Body and Reincarnation”, Page 250-251

eBook available at: www.kabbalah.info/engkab/learning-

center/kabbalah-ebooks

Women and Kabbalah

40

UNITY

What does unity mean for women, and how is it different

from men?

“Women need to unite in mutual work with the goal of

wakening the men and bringing them together, so that the men

would unite with each other and reach the spiritual through this

unification. Then through unification and a mutual guarantee

between the men, the spiritual will also spread onto the women.

As a result, everyone will be a single union—the male and the

female part of the nation or of all mankind.

Men unite through love toward the neighbor while women unite

with the goal of exerting pressure on the men through the

common force of unfulfilled desire. Therefore, this is called

“help against him”: a woman helps in that she informs the man

of the need. He needs to work because of her; because she needs

to feed the children, he needs to make money and provide for

the family. Thousands of years ago, a man went out to hunt in

order to bring home food, and today he goes to the factory or the

office to bring home a paycheck. In essence, a woman is

concerned with the continuation of existence, and a man brings

fulfillment into this existence.”

About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, Talk 2, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, December 19, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel, Page 3 http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2007-12-19_sicha_bb_q&a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_2.doc

Women and Kabbalah

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Why is it important for women to be organized?

“The whole world group, as well as each group individually,

consists of an inner men’s group and a women’s groups that

surrounds it and one cannot exist without the other.

Moreover, when I look at a group (and we find that we have

approximately two million students and accordingly, quite a few

groups), I evaluate the group according to its female part. A

strong, organized, and close-knit women’s group is a guarantee

that the inner men’s group will continue to exist, become

stronger, expand, develop, and ascend spiritually. This is

because women, with their desire, organization, pressure, and

concern about the fact that they can only reach the spiritual

through the men, will ensure that the men advance. Therefore,

before all else, I look at the female part of the group, and if the

female part is adequately organized, significant and strong, we

can say that the men are provided for.

We notice the same thing in the family. In the Torah, the woman

is the home. She equips, supports, and preserves; she is the

foundation of this construction called a home. A home is the Kli

for the perception and revelation of the spiritual; therefore, the

group, which is the home, is mostly organized by women. The

men are the connecting link between the home and the Upper

Force, which in itself is a huge mission.”

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, December 11, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel, Page 4

Women and Kabbalah

42

http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2007-12-11_sicha_bb_q&a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha.doc

Women and Kabbalah

43

RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER

How do women relate to each other— virtually and

physically?

“Women should organize amongst themselves in order to study

together a little and exchange advice on how to internally

conceive and influence the men through pressure from the

heart.”

“In accordance with what nature allows them, they can share

advice with each other and talk about different things. However,

there should not be any mutual connections based on love and

friendship. This is unnecessary for the spiritual, and I think it

can only hinder the path. We need to listen to the nature in us as

much as possible, to see it the way Kabbalists tell us, and realize

it accordingly.”

“If women want to meet, they should do this only in order to

read an article together and slightly touch upon this topic of how

to increase the men’s desire. Maybe once a month they should

write to the men about how the women expect spiritual

advancement from the men and how they want with all of their

hearts to help them advance in the spiritual.”

“They can write it together or separately. It is better for women

to have as little contact with each other as possible. A woman

acts correctly if she works from her home and helps either one

man or the men’s group.”

Women and Kabbalah

44

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, January 16, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2008-01-16_sicha_bb_q-a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_3.doc

***

“Spiritual work among women consists of talking about how to

influence the men, how to help them and support them so they

would reach a spiritual reward, spiritual fulfillment from above.

And of course, women need to interact in mutual work. In other

words, they need to develop a work relationship between them,

but not an inner one, from soul to soul.”

“They can talk about the fact that they want to influence the men

through their work and their inner desire, so they would

advance. And they will receive fulfillment in this desire ‘for the

men to advance.”

“They should talk about the greatness of the goal, but not about

what I want and what I feel, but about how great and

meaningful the goal itself is. Then they are talking about the goal

and the greatness of the Upper Force.”

“They can unite for this benefit. In other words, one woman

should not create any special connection in relation to another

woman—this cannot exist between women. However, the

connection that gives men the need is possible among women,

and it exists for the benefit of creation.”

“The dissemination of Kabbalah, their relationship with each

other, their collaborative studies and work—everything should

Women and Kabbalah

45

have the intention to clarify their desire toward the spiritual in

the most precise manner: ‘what is the most clear and beneficial

way that we can give our desire to the men, so that they would

act just as beneficially and effectively in their work in attracting

spiritual fulfillment?’ Then together, the male and the female

parts of humanity rise toward the Upper Light and a better life

in the material world. All of this needs to be done by women.”

About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, Talk 2, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, December 19, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2007-12-19_sicha_bb_q&a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_2.doc

Why doesn’t Arvut apply to women?

“Men are the part that is the bestowing force, which experienced

a breaking and fell into the female receiving part. Therefore, men

can draw Light and give it to the female part. They do this by

way of attaining equivalence of properties with the force of

bestowal. Men need to unite with each other in “love thy

neighbor as thyself,” achieve the force of love through this, and

through the force of love they can draw the abundance from the

Upper and give it to all of society: the nation, the children, the

women, the elderly, and, of course, to themselves, since all of it

will pass through them.”

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, January 16, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel, Page 4 http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2008-01-16_sicha_bb_q-a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_3.doc

Women and Kabbalah

46

***

“A woman should know that this portion of work [mutual

guarantee] pertains to men, and in spite of the fact that she does

not actively participate in it, her participation consists in

stimulating men to do this work. Therefore, it pays for her to

know it as well. A woman does not take part in this work

practically, but she should study and understand it. If a woman

will know what men must do, she will be better able to assist

them.”

“Women should gather and create a big, strong organization.

They should discuss amongst themselves how to build a proper

relationship with the men—each woman individually and the

whole women’s group in relation to the men’s group. Women

should understand what the men do and how to give them a

greater desire directed at reaching the goal that they pursue.”

“A woman does not have any connection to what is revealed

between a human and his friend, a human and his neighbor.

Such work only pertains to the male part of the universe, and

women completely lack the rudiments for development in that

direction—it is not a woman’s job at all.”

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, December 11, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel, Page 4

http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2007-12-11_sicha_bb_q&a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha.doc

Women and Kabbalah

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What is the best relationship one woman can have with

another?

Question: One of the practical questions that arises recently is

whether there is any point in arranging meetings of the women’s

group in order to increase the desire.

Rav’s Answer: There is no sense in such meetings. I don’t think

that they can lead to a good result. If women want to meet, they

should do this only in order to read an article together and

slightly touch upon this topic of how to increase the men’s

desire. Maybe once a month they should write to the men about

how the women expect spiritual advancement from the men and

how they want with all of their hearts to help them advance in

the spiritual.

This is possible. But it should be done the way a woman says it

to a man—the women’s group should say it to the men’s group

the same way.”

Question: However, women should not meet in order to write

this letter?

Rav’s answer: No. They can write it together or separately. It is

better for women to have as little contact with each other as

possible. A woman acts correctly if she works from her home

and helps either one man or the men’s group.”

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, January 16, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2008-01-16_sicha_bb_q-a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_3.doc

Women and Kabbalah

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***

“A women’s group is not just a group that consists of individual

people but it is women who unite in order to participate in the

spiritual ascent. Together with children and all those who don’t

participate actively, women comprise the greater part of

humanity. The woman’s part is very important and very

powerful. If they are able to organize, then it’s great and if not,

then men lack this help and pressure from women, and women

lose out as well. Therefore there is need for a serious

organization, mutual help and connection. If it exists, it exists; if

it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

As a rule, women in our world cannot connect together unless

they are facing a specific task such as in various women’s

organizations. And with us it’s the same thing. The only

opportunity to achieve the Upper World is to unite in order to

help, support and pressure the men and to receive the Upper

Light through the unified men’s group. So try to do this.

Everything depends on you.”

Sailing On, Bnei Baruch World Kli’s Blog, “Intention Pieces for Women, May Congress 2008”, May 9, 2008 http://www.kabbalahgroup.info/eng/new/2008/05/intention-pieces-for-women-may-congress-2008/

Do women form their own groups?

“Women do not need to bond with each other. There is no

women’s group—in principal, it does not exist. A woman does

Women and Kabbalah

49

not need to bond with other women. They can connect only out

of common goals, common work—circulation or any other. A

woman does not have the same obligations as a man does. Each

woman corrects separately.

Woman is called “home.” She represents a complete structure,

which does not need to be connected with other women. A man

must bond with all other men in order to reach correction. A

woman can, working by herself, reach correction as a perfect

part of the Kli, which lacks only a force from outside to correct

her in a right fashion.”

“A woman does not need this; she does not want to be in the

women's group. And you should listen to yourself inside—why

is this so? According to the development of her soul, a woman

does not need a group. She just needs participation in the

collective Kli.”

The North American Kabbalah Congress, "The Next Step", Rav Laitman's Talk with Women, September 25, 2005 http://files.kabbalahmedia.info/files/eng_TRANS_AmericanCongress_ShiurNashim_25-09-05.doc

***

“In accordance with what nature allows them, they can share

advice with each other and talk about different things. However,

there should not be any mutual connections based on love and

friendship. This is unnecessary for the spiritual, and I think it

can only hinder the path. We need to listen to the nature in us as

much as possible, to see it the way Kabbalists tell us, and realize

it accordingly.”

Women and Kabbalah

50

“If women want to meet, they should do this only in order to

read an article together and slightly touch upon this topic of how

to increase the men’s desire. Maybe once a month they should

write to the men about how the women expect spiritual

advancement from the men and how they want with all of their

hearts to help them advance in the spiritual.”

“It is better for women to have as little contact with each other as

possible. A woman acts correctly if she works from her home

and helps either one man or the men’s group.”

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, January 16, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2008-01-16_sicha_bb_q-a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_3.doc

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CHILDREN

What is the role of women in nurturing their children

with respect to Kabbalah?

“It is written that we should "educate the youth according to his

way." This means that not only parents but a child as well

should clearly see where he is going, and he should want it.

Then he will accept education, he will demand it.

…Parents who pressure their children, who try to forcefully

teach them certain information or habits, raise a broken

generation.

…The wisdom of Kabbalah, on the other hand, is against any

kind of violence or pressure. ‘There is no coercion in spirituality.’

No coercion means that everything exists and is done only out of

one's own will. What parents have to do is to awaken that will.

…Our problem is that no one is doing that and the whole

education system is wrong. Hence our task is to help parents

understand this principle of Kabbalists - everything stems from a

person's free will and all we have to do is to help its free

development.”

kabbalah.info, Bnei Baruch Kabbalah Education and Research Institute, Kabbalah Home/Life, Love & Family/Kabbalah on Education http://www.kabbalah.info/engkab/life-love-family/kabbalah-education

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***

“Knowledge of the laws operating in our roots and of how the Upper Forces operate, gives us an absolutely precise understanding of how to ideally and most correctly treat and raise a child, how to interact with a fetus and a newborn, as well as with a teenager and adolescent. It enables us to build the correct system of interactions, and to create the conditions for optimally realizing the opportunity we have in this life - to attain the purpose of our creation.”

laitman.com, Kabbalah and the Meaning of Life – Michael Latiman’s Personal Blog, “Babies – Physical and Spiritual”, Posted 30 July, 2008 http://www.laitman.com/2008/07/babies-physical-and-spiritual/

***

“In order to create efficient and healthy communication with a child, we need to understand that each new generation has new and different values from our own, ones which do not match our expectations. If we ignore this conflict - between parents' aspirations and the new level of the child's development - it will

inevitably end in rebellion.

Through the observation of the nature of man, Kabbalists have concluded that the only chance of a child listening to a parent is if he feels he will benefit from taking the advice. Therefore, it is wise to give advice or an explanation that will provide the child with the feeling that by accepting it, he will personally gain something that is not necessarily connected with the parent. That requires a parent to be honest with himself, and to examine the

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essence of his advice - he must continually ask himself, "Who is

this advice actually serving?”

“It is vital for the advice not to appear in the form of "Do's and Don’ts", but to cause the child to understand by himself, within himself, what he needs to do. That way, he won't feel that a certain process is being forced upon his life, but will feel that the

idea of change developed independently within him.”

Kabbalah Home/Life, Love & Family/Kabbalah on Education, “Higher Education: How to Raise Happy Children” http://www.kabbalah.info/engkab/life-love-family/kabbalah-education?p_options=2

***

“To “love a child” means to separate one’s behavior between

strictness and love, and to set up a proper contrast of one in

regard to the other, building a middle line between them for the

benefit of the one at whom it is directed.

The treatment of an adult in regard to a little child is very

serious, very difficult, and very intense. It needs to be under

constant self-control, which means that the adult needs to be

brought up first. He needs to understand what he needs to be

like.

From the first days of a child’s existence, like a little animal, a

child is made to feel the adult, and already properties of the

three lines are implanted in him. These reins—the right and the

left—will be felt by him subconsciously, instinctively, without

having opened his eyes yet, being blind and not hearing

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anything, like in his first days, but he will understand this

nonetheless.”

Motherhood and Upbringing, A Talk between Kabbalist Michael Laitman and the Instructors of Kabbalah Academy, Michael Sanilevich and Eugene Litvar, 6 August 2007 http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2007-08-06_sicha_bb_im-zhenya-ve-moshe_al-imahut-ve-hinuh_edited.doc

What is the role of the father in educating his children in

Kabbalah?

Question: And is it harmful for a child to participate in the

game with the father?

Rav’s answer: In this case, the purpose of hunting is not

provision for life, but an exercise in order to kill, cheat, and

prosper at the expense of others. Obviously, these things should

be rejected at their very core. From the very beginning - even

from before his birth, and of course, during the period when the

child begins to comprehend things, giving him such games

poses a very big problem. He is already coming into this world

after previous incarnations, weighed down by the egoistical

nature, the growing evil, and the flaming ego. And we must

consider the fact that with his development these properties will

increase. That is why we must instil correct values into him from

the earliest age, so that he is able to cope with his nature.

I remember that in my time, the bringing up of children used to

be based on the emphasis for every child to know that he should

be good: not to fight with anyone, be kind to all. Why? Because

we unconsciously understand that if a person treats all others

well, he will end up having fewer enemies, a smaller chance to

get into a problematic situation, or provoke a wish in someone to

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cause him trouble. That is why we should not teach him how to

kill others, use them, or pursue them with the intention to cause

them harm. On the contrary, teach him how to do good to

others. This way, you will be able to provide for him, to an

extent, a safer life in the future.

This is what we wish for our children. But to teach our child the

opposite - that is to kill, means making him unhappy.

Throughout all of his life he will live under the pressure from the

thought that others will treat him that same way. What a

powerful inner pressure is awaiting him, and what for? Besides,

the destiny of a human soul depends on his treatment of

others. The better he treats others, the more he benefits in the

end.

Question: I would like to share my own personal experience of

how my son went to school, to the first grade. The initial period

of him being there was a cultural shock for us (for him, and as a

consequence, for us). He was telling us that the children there

were constantly fighting during breaks and were only

preoccupied by doing harm to each other. Such was the main

pastime of the society. For our daughter, the experience was not

the same because girls, by their nature, are gentler. Let’s say, a

small child, whom we are trying to raise with only kind and

positive treatment of others, falls into a society with other

values. Wouldn’t he turn out to be somewhat of a “wimp”,

where everyone can beat him and he only smiles in return? Is

such a danger present?

Rav’s answer: You are right. But in the end, I think that in such

a way he is not attracting hate towards himself, or the desire to

use him. No. The point is, that if he treats others well, it does

not mean that he cannot stand for himself. But you are not

teaching him, “programming” him, to constantly hunt people,

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like some kind of a predator animal. My son began to study

Kabbalah with me - he was only nine years old then. But at the

same time he was studying many things: wrestling, bicycling,

and others. That is, I was raising him to be strong, but not for

the purpose of using other people and threatening them with his

strength. He is strong, and if necessary, or when left with no

alternative, he can stand for himself. But in his nature there is no

inclination to kill, torment someone, and so on. There must be a

balance between these two issues because we live in a very, very

cruel world. However, we do not have to be like everyone else.

Sailing On, Bnei Baruch World Kli’s Blog, “From The Earliest Age We Must Instill Correct Values Into Children (Q&A)”, May 9, 2008 http://www.kabbalahgroup.info/eng/new/2008/08/from-the-earliest-age-we-must-instill-correct-values-into-children-qa/

What if the parents disagree regarding the need to

educate their children in Kabbalah?

Question: Who is responsible for the upbringing in the family-

the man or the woman? And how is this related to the spiritual?

Rav’s answer: It is written, “Follow the father’s morals and

mother’s Torah.” It means that the father is responsible for the

morals and the mother, for the Torah, i.e. together. What does it

mean “mother” and “father” here and what is the difference

between the morals and Torah? It seems that Torah is the main

thing; however the mother is responsible for it. The father only

menaces and gives warnings-doesn’t it seem it’s easier?

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This implies that the two sides act in harmony upon the child

who feels their interconnection. One side is supposedly has to

provide him with problems from his nature that can be

awakened in him and dominate. On the other hand, there needs

to be a methodology how to overcome these problems. One can

advance in his life by bringing together both of these sides. This

means the morals on one side and Torah on the other side reveal

to a small child (as well as to a big one since all of us are

children) the opportunity to advance by the means of two lines-

the right one and left one.

Sailing On, Bnei Baruch World Kli’s Blog, “Both the Mother and

Father Should Educate Their Child”, May 29, 2008

http://www.kabbalahgroup.info/eng/new/2008/05/both-the-

mother-and-the-father-should-educate-their-child/

What is the best and most correct environment for a

child?

“Kabbalists resolutely object to systems that coerce any kind of

moral principals on man, especially on children. The reason is

that Kabbalah maintains that the development is always

personal and internal, defined by the individual himself. The

result of it is that man changes for the better outwardly as well

and has a positive affect on society.

It would be wrong to leave our children completely unattended

to, because they are still in the general environment that builds

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them, and not in the right environment, that can give them the

right atmosphere for inner-spiritual development.

Rabbi Baruch Ashlag wrote that one should stay away from any

kind of extreme societies, or he will absorb their extreme views

and ideas on life.

Because it is impossible to avoid any kind of influence, we must

begin educating our children at an early age, in a traditional

framework. Such a framework would:

1. Protect them from extreme religious or otherwise secular views.

2. Give the child the perspective of Kabbalah, and its approach to life, to our everyday actions and the knowledge of the meaning of our lives.

Many parents ask me for help. They do not know what to do

with their children. The most difficult problem is drugs. It is

prevalent in youth from the ages of 14-15 and up, and it is

constantly getting worse. A high percentage of high school

students are on drugs today.

From the point of view of Kabbalah it is best to:

1. Send the children to high-level schools, where they can get a good matriculation certificate.

2. Distance the children from a bad influence of a social environment, such as one infected with drugs and other critical perversions.

3. The child should feel an inner freedom of choice, yet on the outside he should still feel the limits of public opinion and the strength of his parents.”

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Kabbalah Library Home / Rav Michael Laitman / Books / Interview with the Future / Part 4 Contact with the Upper One / Kabbalah and Education http://www.kabbalah.info/eng/content/view/frame/4297?/eng/content/view/full/4297&main

***

Question: So I am allowed to choose the environment for my

child, because I chose so?

Rav’s answer: You have to, it’s not that you are allowed to or

not. You are obliged to do so, because you are on the path, and

you are already holding on to the goal, you are obliged to pass

this on to the child. Whether you want to or not, you are giving

him some kind of upbringing. So you should pass it on to him

the kind of upbringing, which you have chosen, which you see

as correct. You shouldn’t pass on to him the type of upbringing,

in which you do not believe, to which you do not belong. But

when you do belong to such upbringing, you have to give it to

him, as you generally have to give a child what he needs.

Question: And where can I not interfere into what is called

child’s inner part?

Rav’s answer: There is no part in a child, in which you cannot

interfere, because the child is under your power, he is subjected

to you. He is not called a stranger; he exists under your

power. That is, your duty is to force him, to give him an

upbringing that you choose. You most probably choose a certain

form of upbringing. Even if you don’t choose anything, he feeds

on some type of a society. That is why we are obligated to give

our upbringing to the children, as much as it is possible, the

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same method. So we must organize a method and build it for all

ages of the young generation.

Sailing On, Bnei Baruch World Kli’s Blog, “The Correct Upbringing,” August 21, 2008 http://www.kabbalahgroup.info/eng/new/2008/08/the-correct-upbringing/

In lieu of an optimum environment for a child, how can

the influence of general society be mitigated?

Question: I have a question regarding upbringing. When and

where can a parent force a child to do something, and when he

can’t to do so?

Rav’s answer: Besides being limited by the state laws, it would

also be correct to limit them by the laws of nature given in the

Torah. If you take all the laws from the Torah about relating to

children, friends, neighbours, the state, the world, you will see

how to relate to things because the laws of the Torah are the

laws of nature. This way, you can deduct the laws regarding

behavior, the relationship between a person and friends, a

person and family, and according to that understand what is

going on.

It is written regarding children: those, who do not teach a child a

certain profession, is making him a robber, a thief. A father is

obliged to teach his son the faith, an occupation that is. What is

meant here is that an occupation is explained as faith, meaning

craft. “Craft’ is described as “faith,” that is, according to the

structure of the Upper Partzufim, Abba (father) should educate

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his child so that based on this education, a child could reach

Katnut, Gadlut in his inner Kelim. This is your obligation. It’s not

that you can or cannot; you are obliged.

Question: Let’s take an example: we choose the environment; I

choose which environment to be in, even on the simplest level.

Rav’s answer: It is because you are in the transitional state

between the generations, because you are the first generation

that searches for the truth and finds it from the point in the

heart. The next generation, they will come, just like you, who

receive this spark in their hearts in the middle of their lives (they

searched, and they came to the corrections). Or those will come,

who were born into families, already on the path. And those,

who are already on the path, must pass on such upbringing to

the children. The child has no freedom of choice in this.

Sailing On, Bnei Baruch World Kli’s Blog, “The Correct Upbringing,” August 21, 2008 http://www.kabbalahgroup.info/eng/new/2008/08/the-correct-upbringing/

***

“Our children understand that to leave the society, the circle of

interests, the knowledge, talks, and discussions, and to generally

reject the life that Kabbalists, their parents, lead, for the sake of

life in the regular world, means to simply fall into a grey abyss.

Although, of course, as all young people, they try to get

something from our external world, but its emptiness drives

them back. We see this. In addition, for the sake of fairness we

should note that we do not force Kabbalistic upbringing on our

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children in any way; there is not even a trace of this, and this did

not exist even in my time. That is, they simply observe how we

live and hear our conversations; after all, our children sometimes

come with us to different gatherings and events, such as

weddings and dinners, where all members of our families are

present. As a rule, this turns out to be sufficient. The process of

upbringing happens of its own accord, unintentionally. A child

simply sees, hears and absorbs the example that the parents give,

and this is enough for him to at least not go after drugs, the way

we see this everywhere today in all Israeli schools. Our example

is enough to prevent them from bad actions; we can say this

about girls as well as boys.”

Sailing On, Bnei Baruch World Kli’s Blog, “They are Simply Observing How We Live,” July 15, 2008 http://www.kabbalahgroup.info/eng/new/2008/07/they-are-simply-observing-how-we-live/

***

“Each of us strives to give his or her children the best tools for

life. This is why we intuitively bring them up to be altruists. In

fact, educating the younger generation has always been based on

altruistic values.

We bring our children up to be kind to others because we

subconsciously know that being unkind to others eventually

hurts the unkind person. We want to give our children security,

and we feel that we can succeed only by means of altruistic

education.

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Thus, a person's confidence does not depend on the individual,

but on the environment. Because one’s environment reflects a

person’s attitude toward it, all harm comes to us from the

environment. However, by promoting altruistic values, we will

increase the chances that society will not harm us.

Each society, in each country, throughout history, has wanted to

impart altruistic values to its children. Only a very powerful

individual, such as a tyrant whose army stands ready to enforce

his will, can afford to teach his children to be ruthless,

inconsiderate, and merciless. But the children of such people will

need great protection to survive. They will have to stand guard

against everyone else, and protect themselves through the force

of arms.

A good attitude toward others imparts a sensation of security,

peace and calm that is second to none. For this reason, we try to

bring up our children with these values. However, and this is an

important point, in time our children see that we, ourselves, are

not behaving in this way toward others, and so they become as

egoistic as we are.

Proper education is based on good examples. Are we showing

our children an example of altruistic behavior toward others?

The answer is probably negative, although we do bring them up

to be altruistic when they are young. A child who sees that his or

her parents do not “walk the walk, but simply talk the talk,”

senses that their words are empty and false. As much as they

will try to show children the honorable way to behave, it will be

useless.

The crises we are in today, and our perilous future, impel us to

make a change. Thus far, we have been teaching our children to

do one thing, yet without following our own advice. But now we

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have no choice. We must change our own egoistic attitude

toward others.

As more and more people begin to behave altruistically, the

reality that our children will be born into will change, and they

will easily grasp what was difficult for us to understand. They

will recognize that we are all part of a single system, and that

accordingly, our relationships should be altruistic. There is

nothing better that we can do for our children and for

ourselves.”

Kabbalah Library Home / Kabbalah and Humanity / Raising the Next Generation of Children, Page 1, Paragraph 1-8 http://www.kabbalah.info/eng/content/view/frame/42601?/eng/content/view/full/42601&main

Should a child be isolated or sheltered in any way?

“..... there is no coercion in spirituality. It is a key rule. One must choose freely. It is not a coincidence that many of the children of some of the greatest Kabbalists never touched Kabbalah. After all, the desire for spirituality is not hereditary.”

Interview with the Future / Part 6 The Face of the Future / Between a Man and a Woman, Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, Paragraph 4 http://www.kabbalah.info/eng/content/view/frame/4262?/eng/content/view/full/4262&main

*** “The same applies for the upbringing of children. There must be

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no pressure, if you don’t want, don’t do. You can only set an example that your children can learn from. But if you teach them right, you should not say no to them.”

Interview with the Future / Part 6 The Face of the Future / Today’s Science, Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, Last Paragraph http://www.kabbalah.info/eng/content/view/frame/4262?/eng/content/view/full/4262&main

*** “Some rules we learn from experience, some rules of behavior children pick up from their parents, their friends, the environment, and the general society. The rules we learn by education are not innately known to us. It is not clear that this is how they actually exist in the world, but our educators persuade us in various ways that it is so, and that this is a path worth treading. If children could see for themselves that something was wrong, they would not do it.”

Kabbalah, Science and the Meaning of Life / Realizing the Spiritual Gene, Part - IV / Nature’s Laws, Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, Paragraph 4 http://www.kabbalah.info/eng/content/view/frame/38861?/eng/content/view/full/38861&main

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SPOUSES WHO HAVE NO INTEREST IN

KABBALAH

How does a woman attain spirituality if her husband has

no interest in Kabbalah?

“She should care for the unification of men, since it is

particularly in unification with each other that they (men)

achieve this force of Upper abundance and pass it on to all the

others. Therefore, regardless of whether or not she has a

husband that studies in a group of Kabbalists and works on

reaching a mutual guarantee and drawing the Upper Light, she

needs to care for the general unification of men. Then through

this, she will be able to receive to the extent that she participates

in this with her desire.

Men are the part that is the bestowing force, which experienced

a breaking and fell into the female receiving part. Therefore, men

can draw Light and give it to the female part. They do this by

way of attaining equivalence of properties with the force of

bestowal. Men need to unite with each other in “love thy

neighbor as thyself,” achieve the force of love through this, and

through the force of love they can draw the abundance from the

Upper and give it to all of society: the nation, the children, the

women, the elderly, and, of course, to themselves, since all of it

will pass through them.”

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, January 16, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel, Page 4 http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2008-01-16_sicha_bb_q-a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_3.doc

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What is the main help for a woman whose husband has

no interest in Kabbalah?

If the husband doesn’t want to study Kabbalah, it is forbidden to

pressure him. Maybe the time hasn’t come yet, and before it does

he needs to act like a regular person.

Of course, we can give him a newspaper to read or a little book,

or explain a little bit to him. However, he should be treated like

an infant. While wanting to draw his interest toward the science

of Kabbalah, we need to treat him like a little child—softly and

nicely, without forcing him to do anything and without any

disdain. Otherwise, we simply push the person away.

On the contrary, when he begins to take a slight interest in

Kabbalah, the woman should use all her strength to show him

that she is ready to do anything for him just so he would study

and be connected to this. She will love him, forgive him for

everything, respect and value him just as long as he studies. The

man will buy into this, since we know how much a man wants to

be respected and to be shown that he is a real man—strong and

special. A woman must play into this in order to waken a desire

for the spiritual in him. And although it is called “Lo Lishma,”

(i.e. not for her name which means he does the work because he

benefits from it personally) one comes to Lishma (i.e. for her name

which means he does it purely for the sake of the Creator)

afterwards.

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Question: And what if the man is really opposed to it? What

should she do if her husband is actually hostile toward her

involvement with Kabbalah?

Don’t do anything! Leave him in this state and wait for him to

come to it in accordance with the development of the Reshimo—

possibly not even in this lifetime. However, a woman can be

connected to the men’s group on her own. There are many

examples like that.

Even when we marry, we don’t have to marry specifically those

who are interested in the spiritual or those who are not, those

who will study Kabbalah or those who will not. The most

important thing when we plan to marry is that the future spouse

knows that spiritual studies are a person’s inner business. And if

one of them decides that he wants to engage in spiritual

development, the other is forbidden from interfering. She can

help and join them and they can walk together along this path

like spiritual partners. But if not, they are forbidden from

hindering this path for another person because this is an affair of

the soul.

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, January 16, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel, Page 15 http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2008-01-16_sicha_bb_q-a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_3.doc

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MARRIAGE

How can the wife create a correct environment in the

home for her husband?

“ … A woman creates an environment for the man, where he

studies and advances. She rouses a passion for revelation and

attainment of the spiritual world in him. In turn, the man feels

this need that is induced in him by the woman, sets out to find

the spiritual, and brings the woman what he attains.”

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, December 11, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2007-12-11_sicha_bb_q&a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha.doc

***

“We need to understand precisely what a mutual guarantee, or

mutual support between the men is for attaining the goal. It is

necessary to understand how exactly a woman needs to give

men her desire for the spiritual. She needs to provide all the

circumstances for them, which are necessary from her side--in

servicing and supporting them, dissemination, and in all

external organization. She should use all the possible means to

give this desire to the men and to show them that the women

desire, wait for, and place great hopes in the fact that it will

happen.

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When the men will feel this desire, they will not be able to save themselves from it by running away; they will not be able to leave it without the necessary fulfillment. This precisely will compel them to go and earn the spiritual for the women not even for themselves, since they could reject it for themselves, but they

cannot neglect women. Such is nature.”

A Talk About the Spiritual Advancement of Women, by Rav Michael Laitman, PhD, January 16, 2007, Tel Aviv, Israel

http://files.kab.co.il/files/eng_t_rav_2008-01-16_sicha_bb_q-a-al-itkadmut-ruhanit-shel-isha_3.doc