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Radical Romance: From Roommates to Soulmates With David and Darlene Steele

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Page 1: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Radical Romance:

From Roommates to Soulmates

With David and Darlene Steele

Page 2: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Page 3: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Romance!

Page 4: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

What’s the difference between “Love” and “Romance?”

Page 5: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Love: “A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.”

Page 6: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Love: “A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.”

So, love is a feeling

Page 7: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Romance: “To court or woo with ardor.”

Page 8: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Romance: “To court or woo with ardor.”

So, romance is an action.

Page 9: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Radical Romance: “To energetically, creatively, and continuously express your love and woo your partner.”

Page 10: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

The three requirements of Radical Romance

Radical Marriage Attitude

Radical Marriage Actions

Radical Marriage Strategies

Page 11: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Radical Marriage Attitude

Strive to be the best partner you can be.

Page 12: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Radical Marriage Attitude

Strive to be the best partner you can be.

Take 100% responsibility for your outcomes in the relationship

Page 13: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Radical Marriage Action Every day we have

opportunities to make our partner happy

Page 14: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Radical Marriage Action Every day we have

opportunities to make our partner happy

Your everyday actions express your love for your partner and the value you place on your relationship

Page 15: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Radical Marriage Action Every day we have

opportunities to make our partner happy

Your everyday actions express your love for your partner and the value you place on your relationship

Do something every day to make your marriage the best marriage possible

Page 16: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Radical Romance Strategies

Relationship JournalRadical Marriage RetreatOne-Way Dates

Page 17: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Radical Romance Strategy #1:The Relationship Journal

Our all time favorite tool to take your romantic intentions to the next level

Helps discover, communicate and address needs, issues, and goals

Page 18: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Relationship Journal StepsStep 1:Purchase one or two blank books or spiral notebooks.

Page 19: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Relationship Journal StepsStep 2:Schedule at least 30 minutes for this process.

Agree on frequency, preferablyat least 3 times per week.

Agree on a time and place.

Page 20: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Step 3:Don’t wait for your partner to remember or initiate. When the time comes, drop whatever else youare doing and create an"intimate space."

Relationship Journal Steps

Page 21: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Relationship Journal StepsStep 4:Make your entry in the Relationship Journal. You can also write in your journal

at any time as it occurs to you.

Do not read your partner's entryuntil you have finished yours.

Page 22: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Relationship Journal StepsSuggested Entry #1:

What do you appreciate about your partner today?

Page 23: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Relationship Journal StepsSuggested Entry#2:

What issues are you aware of in your relationship today?

Page 24: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Relationship Journal StepsSuggested Entry#3:

What needs can you identify that you are experiencing in your relationship today?

Page 25: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Relationship Journal StepsSuggested Entry #4:

What did you do today (or recently) to improve your relationship?

Page 26: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Relationship Journal StepsSuggested Entry #5: Reflect upon your last sexual experience and identify what you liked and what you want to do differently next time.

Page 27: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Relationship Journal StepsStep 5: Read each other's entry, ask clarifying questions in a neutral, nonjudgmental, non-defensive manner.

Page 28: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Relationship Journal StepsStep 6: Start by acknowledging your partner's appreciations, then make sure each issue has a matching need identified; if not, assist your partner to identify what unmet need is underlying their issue.

Page 29: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Relationship Journal StepsStep 7:Discuss the needs one by one. Negotiate. Brainstorm. Be open and flexible with youroutcomes and find the win-win solution.

Page 30: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Relationship Journal StepsStep 8: Record agreements/solutions inRelationship Journal.

Positive Measureable Specific

All needs are valid.

Assume a solutionexists & be creative!

Page 31: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Relationship Journal StepsStep 9:Keep all agreements!

Page 32: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Relationship Journal StepsStep 10: Closing ritual

Page 33: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Radical Romance Strategy #2:Radical Marriage Retreat

Use a romantic retreat as a way to add romance to the Relationship Journal process.

Page 34: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Radical Marriage Retreat Express and set your intention

Co-create the retreat from start to finish

Start by creating an intimate space

Use the Relationship Journal to identify dreams, wants, needs, issues, and how to address them

Use the retreat to create and revisit your dreams for your ultimate life together

Consider joining a Radical Marriage retreat or hiring a Radical Marriage coach to facilitateyour private retreat

Page 35: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Radical Romance Strategy #3:One-Way Dates

Page 36: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

One-Way Dates Couples need to regularly

get out of their routine and re-charge their romance

But couples often fall into negotiation or compromise traps, so it is rare to have the experience you really desire

Page 37: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

One-Way Dates

Solution?

Four Types of One-Way Dates

Page 38: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

One-Way DatesType One Dates: Create a romantic experience for your partner.

Page 39: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

One-Way DatesType One Dates: Create a romantic experience for your partner.

Type Two Dates: Your partner creates a romantic experience for you.

Page 40: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

One-Way Dates

Type Three Dates: Create a romantic experience for yourself.

Type One Dates: Create a romantic experience for your partner.

Type Two Dates: Your partner creates a romantic experience for you.

Page 41: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

One-Way Dates

Type Three Dates: Create a romantic experience for yourself.

Type Four Dates: Your partner creates a romantic experience for their self.

Type One Dates: Create a romantic experience for your partner.

Type Two Dates: Your partner creates a romantic experience for you.

Page 42: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Co-create it

Discuss and commit on the plan together

Page 43: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Co-create it

Discuss and commit on the plan together

One way dates work much better when you are teaming up

Page 44: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Schedule It

Get your calendar out and schedule your dates months or even a year in advance.

Page 45: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Schedule It

Get your calendar out and schedule your dates months or even a year in advance.

Designate the type of date on your calendar.

Page 46: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Plan It

You must plan dates ahead of time for this system to work.

Page 47: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Plan It

You must plan dates ahead of time for this system to work.

Radical Romance requires a quality experience, which requires intentand forethought.

Page 48: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Own It

Design the romantic experience of your dreams or of your partner’s dreams without compromising.

Page 49: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Own It

Design the romantic experience of your dreams or of your partner’s dreams without compromising.

Make each date unique.

Page 50: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Keep It Make every effort to keep

your agreements.

Page 51: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Keep It Make every effort to keep

your agreements.

If you forget or aren’t prepared for a scheduled date, you have broken your agreement.

Page 52: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Keep It Make every effort to keep

your agreements.

If you forget or aren’t prepared for a scheduled date, you have broken your agreement.

If you do this consistently, the plan won’t work and neither will your relationship.

Page 53: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Budget It

Set agreements around the amount of time and money you are able to invest in your one-way dates.

Page 54: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Budget It

Set agreements around the amount of time and money you are able to invest in your one-way dates.

One-way dates don’t require spending money.

Page 55: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Enjoy It

You must have a positive attitude for each date, otherwise you and your partner will not

have the experience you deserve.

Page 56: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Scratch It Don’t plan a date based

on what your partner did last time.

Page 57: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Scratch It Don’t plan a date based

on what your partner did last time.

Start each date with a blank slate

Page 58: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Suggestion: Scratch It Don’t plan a date based

on what your partner did last time.

Start each date with a blank slate

Don’t keep score – it will harm your dates and your relationship.

Page 59: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

Make your life together your greatest

adventure.

Page 60: With David and Darlene Steele. What’s the difference between a couple being “roommates” and “soulmates?”

www.RadicalMarriage.com

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