[1]

DEC UPDATEElul 2011/5771

WITH 13 DERECH ETZ CHAIM YEARS ......behind us we felt it was time for everyone to begin catching up. I personally through my travels have the opportunity to stay in touch with some, and I find myself repeating the same stories to all of you so this update is a way to share.

From year 6 until present there is a pretty core group of guys that live near each other and who get together regularly for Shabbatot, shurim, and just to hang out. Rav Sheftel and myself see them in Queens, NY and at weddings at a fairly regular basis. But here is an entire world of older Talmidim, that are married with growing families. They helped build the Yeshiva in its

early years. They spent just as much time at the Yeshiva and in our homes and remain in our hearts. They are less in touch, with each other, the Yeshiva, and certainly the newer Talmidm. In the hope that you are all as interested in knowing each

other as much as I am we have put together what we hope will be the first volume of a regular series chronicling the stories of our Talmidim. Ultimately that is the story of Derech Etz

Chaim. The Shas Siyumim (latest by Uri Herzberg year 3) Phd’s (Mazal tov to Dov Finman year 2,3) and and all the other interesting things that you have to share.

BJ who has observed the Yeshiva since year 3 either as a Talmid or neighbor has taken on the task of coordinating the articles and your participation and feedback will only improve and continue to produce these newsletters.

Please send him your feedback at bj@mermelstein.com

Aharon Ka!

[2]

I was asked to write an update of what I have been up to since leaving DEC 10 years ago (wow, that’s a long time).

After spending 2.5 years at DEC (Years 2-4), I moved to Merrick, New York to

learn at Yeshivat Torah Mitzion (A”H) while attending classes at Touro College at night (Flatbush, not Landers). I then

moved to Queens, finished undergrad with a BA in Psychology, and began a

Masters Program in Social Work. In my last year of graduate school I met my wife Shira, got married, and as soon as I

finished the program we moved to Baltimore. Neither of us could wait to

get out of New York. I began working at Jewish Community Services in Baltimore and specialized in assisting adults with

developmental disabilities. After 3.5 years in that position I began a new position

this past June at Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center, working as a clinical social worker with Adults with disabilities

in the Community Psychiatry

Department. I have a two year old son named Akiva and another one on the way, IMY”H. I still sing Kah Echsof, Kah

Ribon and Shoshanas Yaakov as often as I can (and Chad Gadya of course …

Thanks, Ben [Year 1-2]). I have not succeeded in finding a Chavrusa who cracked me up the way Nosson Sobel

(Years 2-4) did. My fondest memories are the Shalush Seudos and Purim Seudos

at Rav Sheftel’s as well as Matzah Baking. But I do have a vague memory of dangling off a cliff on a Tiyul with Dov Ber

Medinets (Year 2-3) and I feel the need to mention Toby Mintz (Year 4) sleeping in

the refrigerator box, Eric Adelman (Years 3-4) in the blue lagoon, and Cheech (our dog). I also still crack up about the night

of the Super Bowl when we met the “REAL” DuDu. In a nut shell, I am doing

well and actually enjoyed writing this article - it feels good to reminisce. I hope everyone else is doing well. Wishing

everyone the best!

Dani (with an O) BerliantYears 2-4

A lot has changed in Derech Etz Chaim since its inception, yet much has stayed the same. Reb Mendel Horowitz can still be found joining the Yeshiva on many Tiyulim (now with older children participating), Rav Sheftel Weinberg can still be seen doing dorm “wake-up” (if a fire hose is handy), Rav Moshe Eliyahu Rosenbaum can still be heard rocking with his Shana Bet Shiur (occasionally at El Gaucho’s All-You-Can-Eat), and Rabbi Katz’s door can still be found open to Talmidim at all hours of the night. Joining the Yeshiva cast in recent years are Rav Yonasan Cohen and Rav Shmuel Kornfeld who have both become a major draw for new and returning Talmidim. Additionally, Rav Kornfeld has been giving a Shiur in Rav Yochanan Zweig’s yeshiva in Miami for two consecutive summers which draws many past and present Talmidim.

The other major change was the Yeshiva’s move in 2008 from Rechov Ibn Dnan 4 all the way to Rechov Ibn Dnan 12. The new building has 12 rooms which can sleep 39, a Madrich suite, bathrooms off almost every room, a beautiful back porch, and two enormous upstairs porches. Most dramatic of all, the Beis Medrash and dining room both offer sweeping views of the Jerusalem Forest and mountains through floor to ceiling windows running the length of the rooms.

Enrollment next year is the highest ever with 47 Talmidim: 21 Shana Alef, 18 Shana Bet, and 8 Shana Gimel (and beyond). This year will see the return of the fabled Yeshiva apartment which will add an extra dimension of excitement to the new year. We encourage all alumni to consider visiting throughout the year.

THE MORE THINGS CHANGE... DANI BERLIANT

[3]

Some personal info first: I was Year 4 at DEC, in 2001-2002.

Nothing much interesting happened until March 2011, when I

married Michal Yablong. She is going into her final year of

college at Northwestern, and I am beginning my last year of

law school at Penn. We'll be moving back and forth between

Philadelphia and Chicago for the next year while we both

finish school. I'm working for a law firm in New York for the

summer, and hope to return there after I graduate.

It's been 11 years since

Moshe Kasser (Years

1-3), my senior colleague

at Ben Yehuda Pizza in

Silver Spring, impressed

upon me what a great

yeshiva he went to. I'd

never heard of the place,

but I was game to hear

more. And, next month,

it will be ten years since I

got off the bus from the

airport, two giant duffel

bags and a steamer trunk

in tow, and met Rabbi

Katz for the first time on

the sidewalk outside 4

Ibn Dnan. It truly feels

like yesterday.

Unlike most of my peers at DEC, and as far as I know, most

of its talmidim these days, I was a one-and-done. I didn't stay

shana bet, and didn't change my plans and go to Y.U.; if

Lander existed at the time, it wasn't on my radar. Instead, I

went off to secular college, and spent no more time in yeshiva

after that year.

So, I'm really grateful not only for all the friends I've kept

from DEC, but for how much the institution and its alumni

have retained a sense of family. Rabbi and Mrs. Katz are

always happy to talk, even though there have been hundreds

of other alumni in the interim, and they always make time to

get together when they're in the U.S. At reunions,

shabbatonim, the banquet, and weddings, I always enjoy not

only seeing my friends from DEC, but catching up with casual

acquaintances or meeting more recent students. The DEC

connection means that people have each other's backs, a

phenomenon that probably wouldn't exist at a larger yeshiva.

To illustrate that point, this is a great opportunity to thank the

DEC people who've helped me out over the years:

I spent about a year before law school traveling around the

country, and was hosted by Leib (Years 3-4) and Yona

Zalesch in Denver (multiple times), Eric (Years 3-4) and

Malka Adelman in Atlanta

(multiple times), Yoni

(Years 4 and 5) and

Davida Graber, also in

Atlanta, Jon (Years 2-4)

and Shoshanna Weinberg

in Savannah, Ari (Years

4-5) and Rachie Gold in

Houston, Micah (Year 4)

and Erica Zimmerman in

San Francisco, Micah's

Uncle Dan in New

Orleans and Aunt Aimee

and Uncle Jerome in

Colorado Springs, and

Sam Calabrese's (Year 5)

parents in Columbus.

Moshe (Years 1-3) and

Shira Kasser and Reuven

(Years 4-5) and Meira Burkom

in Baltimore/Silver Spring always had an open door, and of

course Yoli Margolese (Years 5-7) regularly had tons of guys

over in Lakewood. Richard Silverman (Year 3) gave me advice

about law school, Uri Herzberg (Year 3) filled me in about his

firm, and David Manheim (Years 5-8( spent a day loading a

moving truck, and dragged his wife to Chicago for our

wedding. And this summer, when we temporarily moved to

New York, Aaron Roller (Year 4) and Shira Rosenbaum and

Aaron (Year 4) and Arielle Paine went out of their way to

have us for shabbos more times than we deserved. Thanks

everyone! Looking forward to the next ten years.

Jacob “Chuck” Boyars

Year 4

JACOB “CHUCK” BOYARS

[4]

Since leaving yeshiva in 2001, I learned in various yeshivas- MTJ, Skokie, Silver Spring, and eventually joined the Kollel in Phoenix, AZ. Along the way I completed an MA and Doctorate in Clinical Psychology and received Semichah from Rav Zalman Nechemia Goldberg in Isur v’Heter. In the years after DEC, I completed Maseches Shabbos, Gitin, Kidushin, Sotah, Megilah and Makos, and I am currently working on completing Shulchan Aruch. At this point I’ve completed Orach Chaim and I’m almost finished with Yoreh De’ah, after which I will begin Choshen Mishpat. My Limud is Mechaber, Rema, and Nosei Keilim as needed.

I’m currently living in Far Rockaway, NY, with my wife Chaya, and our two children Simcha and Atara. I am a professor of psychology at Adelphi University, as well as a night seder rebbi in a new program for Balei Teshuva at Shor Yoshuv. I also see people for therapy at Ohel’s Tikvah clinic.

The time I spent at DEC was invaluable. The Hadrachah and support, as well as the personal care and concern that I received from Rabbi Katz and all of the rebbeim, is something that I am extremely grateful

for. I keep in touch with Rabbi Katz, mostly through email. Since I’ve been out in Phoenix I haven’t seen Rav Sheftel or Rav Moshe Eliyahu when they visited the U.S., but I look forward to seeing more of our rebbeim now that I am back in New York.

Dov FinmanYear 2-3

DOV FINMAN

One of the things that sets DEC, and DEC alumni, apart, is the emphasis on being able to learn and think independently. Examples of

this are a Beki’us Shiur that teaches you how to read Gemara (if you can read Kidushin,

you can read Shas) and an Iyun Shiur that teaches you how to think like a Rishon (not just know what they say). At DEC, I didn’t

just go to Israel to learn for a couple of years. I learned how to learn in a couple of years.

This independence from needing a Shiur in order to learn has enabled me to continue to learn while completing my undergraduate and doctorate degree in

Materials Science and Engineering, and continues to enable me to learn as I work for the Food and Drug Administration

reviewing orthopedic devices. This approach to learning and life is a refreshing change from the ever-present philosophy of Kollel or bust, i.e. the belief that either one is learning full-time,

or working full-time, with attending a Daf Yomi Shiur being the only thing in between. When I made a Siyum on Seder Moed

(Gemara) last summer, the Rav of the community commented to me that this is the only Gemara Siyum he has been to that resulted from prolonged independent study not related to a

Daf Yomi Shiur.

This is an unfortunate reality; that there seems to be a lack of professionals that are Bnei

Torah, that many think this is an either/or kind of thing. It’s not,

but it takes the right combination of factors: a supportive wife, a job/commute with a reasonable

work/life balance, and the skills and drive to learn independently.

This last factor is crucial, as life’s unexpected twists and turns often make it impractical to consistently attend a Shiur or learn with a Chavrusah. I thank

DEC for supplying me with the required skills and drive (they also played no small role in finding a supportive wife), and wish

all alumni Hatzlachah as they pursue their goals, both religious and academic. I recently started Maseches Zevachim and continue to plug away at Shas at about a Daf a day. I only have

8 more Masechtos (Sotah, Nazir, Nedarim, Bava Basra, Menachos, Krisos, Temurah, and Me’ilah) left until I start the

cycle again. Although I may not always have a Chavrusah, I know that I won’t be studying alone.

Moshe Kasser

Years 1-3

MOSHE KASSER

[5]

If there is one thing I can most thank Derech Etz Chaim for, it is the gift of clarity. Looking back, I see myself at eighteen as a passionate but rudderless young man, sure that I wanted to make some sort of difference but unsure of what that meant - and even less sure how to do it. I had been the one-eyed king in the land of the blind, needing to be cast down before I could begin to grow in meaningful ways. In messages implicit and explicit, I learned from my Rebbeim during my first year in Yeshiva that I was not everything I had thought or been told I was. Those messages were as important for my development as plowing earth is to the prosperity of future plants - if no less apparent or appreciated at the time.

That was the story of my first year in Yeshiva: the clearing away of old, rocky soil before planting can even begin. By my second year, the first seeds could be planted, still with careful attention and constant watchful observation by those around me and, increasingly, by myself. Clarity could begin to replace clairvoyance; the arrogant self-assurance of the young man who had first entered Yeshiva began to give way to a careful self-confidence and measured pride in the occasional true accomplishment - a good day of learning, a sharp insight, a Siyum. Now there was the realization that all accomplishments are only worthwhile if they remind one that he could have done so much more by now if he had only worked harder - and that now is the best time to do just that.

Today I have the enormous privilege of teaching middle and high school students of my own in Denver. It is a job I thank Hashem for every day, and one I would not trade for anything. I try to tend my students with the same care that I was shown when I first began to learn in Derech Etz Chaim, and I try to steer my charges toward a more mature notion of what real accomplishment is, so that they do not fall into the trap of accepting a least-common-denominator measure of

success. Speaking with a brilliant high school freshman last year, I heard myself say things I was told in my first year of DEC and that I wish I had heard years before that: that he should only accept his own standard of greatness; not to expect less of himself simply on account of the level of those around him; that all real accomplishments are designed to push one toward the next, greater one. He took the message to heart, voluntarily adding to his learning regimen and choosing a tough summer Kollel across the country, one in which he knew he would be a guppy and not the king fish. That conversation took place as much between myself and that student as it did between me at age twenty-nine and me at age eighteen. He felt the hurt that I sometimes felt during my first year in DEC, not ready to hear what I was being told about accepting only true accomplishments, about measuring myself only against myself, about shredding high school "requirements" in lieu of charting a true and honest growth trajectory irrespective of what anyone else might say.

DEC started me on a Derech in learning and in many of the most important life decisions I would make over the next several years. More importantly, those decisions were not a result of being

dictated to by my Rebbeim, but rather of the empowerment of those Rebbeim to make healthy, clear decisions using a template for self-betterment that only I could create. Rabbi Katz often told us that the true success of one's time in Yeshiva is what one does afterwards. Leaving Yeshiva to subsist on one's own is always hard, and leaving DEC was no exception - but I learned to trust the decision-making mechanism placed in me during my time in DEC. I chose Yeshiva

University - not my Rebbeim's choice for me - and stuck it out through

Semichah, also earning a Master's in Jewish Education. Ironically, despite my Rabbeim's lack of enthusiasm

for my choice to attend YU, it was their faith in my ability to trust

myself that allowed me to make it through my YU years, including two more years in Israel at YU's Gruss Kollel, before landing in Denver with my wife and, ka”h, two beautiful children. When I look into their sweet little eyes, I want so much for them - spiritual success, material contentment, health, happiness. But perhaps most profoundly, it is the gift of clarity that I hope most to give them, an inheritance from my time at DEC.

Leib ZaleschYears 3-4

LEIB ZALESCH

[6]

I want to write this article partially about myself and what I’ve been up to and partially about the experience of living in Israel. (Obviously the reasons people in general, and even DEC alumni, choose to live in Israel are extremely varied, but I’d like to mention some ideas I’ve come across along the way.)

After completing two official years in DEC (Years 3-4) I enrolled in Yeshiva University and completed one year there. I was extremely unhappy about leaving Israel and attending college in the States, so the following year I enrolled in the American program at Machon Lev, a technological college in Jerusalem. In 2005 I married Shani Richter after an amazing Purim Meshulash with the entire Yeshiva celebrating at the wedding. In 2008 my son Yoni was born and B”H we’re now expecting our second. After 6 years of living just down the road from Yeshiva, and 4 years

learning b’Chavrusa with Rabbi Katz every morning, I decided it was time to move on. Shani and I are now living in Bet Shemesh where I work in the wholesale department of Green Smoke Inc., an electronic cigarette manufacturer (just Google it).

Over the years I’ve often wondered why I was so unhappy living in America, why I feel that Israel is the right place for me, and what it takes to build a life here. I

believe that what I’m about to describe is felt at some level by all who choose to live in Israel even if, on a daily basis, they can’t express it this way. It’s impossible to live in Israel for quantitative reasons. Ideas like the job market is better, the schools are better or cheaper, there are more Jews here or

better communities, etc. will not hold up over time. Any connection to the land which is dependent on transient factors is not a real connection. Life here must be and is meant to be as different from Chutz la'Aretz as one can possibly get.

If you live in Israel but believe it’s equally reasonable to live in America, you’ll eventually find

yourself back in America. But if you take life here for what it is and not what your projections make it, you’ll find a connection that runs deeper than you ever thought possible. Life lived here is meaningful in and of itself. It can't be compromised on. The smallest actions take on a meaning that they never had outside. Something as simple as getting on to a bus is not a convenience, it's a fundamental choice. Am I here in the face of hardship, terrorism, peer and parental pressure? Am I committed to Eretz Yisrael without any need to make excuses for it? Then I begin to scratch the surface of a true connection to the land and to life itself. Every choice we make here is a commitment to Chaim, every breath we take is in the context of the Eretz ha’Chaim, and every step we take is on the Derech Etz ha'Chaim.

BJ Mermelstein

Years 3-4

BJ MERMELSTEIN

Though guys had been playing football together (without great results) for a few years, in Year 6 the Yeshiva decided to sponsor the team, resting our name and reputation on our AFI (American Football in Israel) football team. It created tremendous Yeshiva pride and brought us to the playoffs in Year 7. Mayer Weisel (Years 6-8) took our involvement to a whole new level by filming the games and posting them to the DEC football blog. In 2008 the Yeshiva attracted (read: recruited) some serious athletes and returned to the upper tier playoffs culminating in winning the 2009 Holyland Bowl league championship!

It had surprised the league and the Yeshiva world that our small Yeshiva could pull off such a big win. Over the last three years DEC has been a dominating force in the league returning to the Championship last year (you have to follow the blog to see what happened) and has developed a reputation as the “football yeshiva” (though we still learn Bekius in the afternoon - we don’t practice, as many suspect!). We have high hopes again this season with most of the team returning. You can follow all the action at www.decfootball.com

DEC FOOTBALL

[7]

Remember the days when you were asked your occupation and you got to check off ‘student’? When you got a $2 discount at the movies and you had to stay up all night drinking Mountain Dew because you procrastinated writing that paper? I miss those days.

We’re all very familiar with life as a student. As each year passes, we are led to believe that our grades matter more and more. We are told that with each passing semester, our education is more essential and the curriculum more important. And that as we reach closer to adulthood, the people we will become, our very essence, hangs on every test and pop-quiz we are given.

For me, all of these things have become true ever since I stopped checking off ‘student’ and started checking off ‘teacher’. Since receiving my Masters in Jewish Education from Azrieli Graduate School, I have been caught in a whirlwind unlike anything I’ve ever known. All of a sudden, everything I do matters.

After getting married in ‘07, I found my way back to Houston, Texas, where I grew up, and my old alma mater was nice enough to offer me my first full-time teaching job. There is nothing like teaching; everyone should try it just so they can empathize with their kids’ teachers. Every year the community’s expectations of me grow exponentially. With each new semester, the Chumash I teach to my 6th graders has to grab them in a new way, and the Gemara in Bava Metzia has to jump off the daf and into my 8th graders’ lives. How do you make Hilchos Shabbos appealing to 11th graders who just came

back from lunch at Burger King (not even the Rabbanut one)?

I am constantly faced with the challenge of having to be better than I am. I have to be the type of person who can model a lifestyle of Torah and Mitzvos, yet somehow ‘keep it real’ with immature high school boys. This is where my days as a student pay dividends. It turns out I had a lot of guidance in school. Much of it came from my parents, and I had a lot from my Rebbeim in high school too. But there is something about the Rebbeim in

Derech Etz Chaim that particularly found its way into how I try to educate my students. It is an authentic mixture of excitement, love, and importance placed on what we’re doing.

It is no coincidence that before Yom Kippur last year, I gave my own version of Rav Sheftel’s “Submarine Shiur” to my students, and before Purim I related to my 6th graders a discussion I had with Reb Mendel about why the Mitzvah of Zechiras Amalek is fulfilled by reading

Parshas Zachor. I teach Chumash based on advice from Rabbi Katz and Gemara the way I learned it in his Shiur for two years.

But aside from content, what I try most to give over to my students is what I was given as a student: the excitement of learning and how important it is in life. I often think back to Rav Gittleman’s Hasmada and Betzalel Gersten’s broad range of Halachic knowledge. How did these great people become who they are? As a teacher, I always need to

consider what makes people great and how to put students on that path.

Last year I became a father and it became clear that I needed to answer all the questions I ask myself as a teacher, because pretty soon I’m going to need to put my own kids on that path toward greatness.

What’s the best way to teach good Midos? How should I model the life of a Ben Torah to my son? What kind of Chesed can I do for my

wife? My parents? My friends?

As I get older and deeper into life’s path, I find more answers from experiences with the great people I came across as a student.

Ari KellermanYears 4 and 8

ARI KELLERMAN

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Derech Etz Chaim www.ondec.net• check out our website for more info...

Find Us on Facebookwww.facebook.com/DerechEtzChaim

DEC UPDATE112 Clifton Avenue

Post Mailbox #119Lakewood, NJ 08701

My name is Yanky Statman and I attended DEC from 1999-2001 (Years 2 and 3). Typing that sentence made me feel really old. It feels like just yesterday that I was boarding a plane to Israel for the first time, simultaneously excited and anxious about what my one year (I thought at the time) would bring.

After my second year in DEC, I attended Yeshiva in Silver Spring, Maryland. I met my wife there and today we have two very above-average sons. After Yeshiva in Silver Spring, I moved back to Baltimore and attended law school. Today, I live in Baltimore and have been practicing labor and employment litigation for almost six years.

My years in DEC were truly life altering - - in a good way. It is there that I met many of the people whom I consider to be my best friends. Though I left Israel more than ten years ago, I remain in constant touch with many of these people. (read: not only through Facebook).  One of the less than pleasant aspects of my job is that I frequently travel. I have managed to turn this negative part of the job into a positive, however, in that I have been able to visit friends that I might not otherwise see in cities like Miami, Atlanta, Kansas City, NY/NJ, etc.

I feel truly grateful to have been a Talmid in DEC. Other than the death-march Tiyul of 2000, I have nothing but warm memories of my time spent there. The Nigunim I learned are sung at my Shabbos and Yom Tov table with regularity and I try to implement the Hashkafic and Halachic life lessons I was taught by my Rebbeim on a daily basis. I can say with certainty that attending DEC truly shaped who I am today. 

Yanky Statman

Editor’s Note:

This newsletter, the first in a series, was made possible with the help of several alumni who gave of their time to put their thoughts down on paper. I sincerely thank them and look forward to seeing even more participation in future editions (albeit with slightly less nudging needed on my part). For the upcoming issue we’d still like to keep the focus on Years 1-5 so please let me know if you’re interested in sharing your

experiences with your fellow alumni. You can contact me directly at bj@mermelstein.com. To continue to follow the growth and achievements of our Yeshiva, visit at http://www.facebook.com/DerechEtzChaim . I enjoyed being able to reconnect with so many of you and look forward to putting together our next issue.

BJ Mermelstein 8/11/11

YANKY STATMAN