winter wonderettes script

PERUSAL SCRIPT

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WINTER WONDERETTES: THE NEW ‘60S CHRISTMAS MUSICAL Copyright © 2003 by ROGER BEAN All Rights Reserved All performances and public readings of WINTER WONDERETTES: THE NEW ‘60S CHRISTMAS MUSICAL are subject to royalties. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, of all countries covered by the International Copyright Union, of all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention and the Universal Copyright Convention, and all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations. All rights are strictly reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, by any means, including mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author. Publication of this play does not necessarily imply that it is available for performance by amateurs or professionals. It is strongly recommended all interested parties apply to Steele Spring Productions for performance rights before starting rehearsals or advertising. No changes shall be made in the play for the purpose of your production without prior written consent. All billing stipulations in your license agreement must be strictly adhered to. No person, firm or entity may receive credit larger or more prominent than that accorded the Author. Amateurs and professionals wishing to perform WINTER WONDERETTES: THE NEW ‘60S CHRISTMAS MUSICAL must first make application to Steele Spring Productions:

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“Winter Wonderettes” by Roger Bean

premiered on November 7, 2003 at Milwaukee Repertory Theater,

Joseph Hanreddy, Artistic Director, Timothy J. Shields, Managing Director,

Sandy Ernst, Associate Artistic Director

Direction and Staging by Roger Bean Vocal Arrangements by Brian Baker and Roger Bean Musical Arrangements and Direction by Brian Baker

Choreography by Pam Kriger Scenic Design by Vicki R. Davis Costume Design by Tina Campbell Lighting Design by Jason Fassl Stage Managed by Kelly O’Rourke

Cast

Misty Cotton Missy

Susannah Hall Cindy Lou

Bets Malone Suzy

Lucia Spina Betty Jean

All contents of WINTER WONDERETTES is copyrighted and strictly protected by law. No copies of the material may be made or performances played without the express written permission of the licensor. Any infraction will result in penalties to the full extent allowed by law.

WINTER WONDERETTES is licensed through:

STEELE SPRING PRODUCTIONS 3845 Cazador Street

Los Angeles, CA 90065

Fax: (818) 232-9158

[email protected] www.steelespring.com

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page ii Winter Wonderettes

WINTER WONDERETTES

CHARACTERS

BETTY JEAN REYNOLDS: Betty Jean is the self-anointed clown of the group,always vying for attention from her best friend Cindy Lou. She loves that sheis in finally in charge of the group, if only for this one performance. Shehas worked at Harper’s Hardware since High School and is now in CorporateSales, a fact she’s very proud of. After a few tumultuous years, she marriedher high-school boyfriend Johnny, who also used to work at Harper’s Hardware.We learn that they have recently separated for good. She has a strength thatbelies her goofiness. This strength is what gives her empathy; she has no‘poor me’ in her attitude. This pays off in her Act One closing song. Her hairis red/auburn. (Strong Bass with big belt)

CINDY LOU HUFFINGTON: Cindy Lou is the ‘bad girl’ of the group, now reformed(to a point). She is sexy with a dry and sassy wit, and has a miles-high jet-black beehive, a cross between the Ronettes and early Priscilla Presley. Shehas a tattoo on her right upper arm that reads “Billy,” her boyfriend whopassed away a few years back (from “The Marvelous Wonderettes”). Until thattime it seemed that things always went her way, making Betty Jean crazy. Shehas an incredible soft side and inner depth, revealed in her Act Two monologueand ballad. (Mezzo Soprano with belt - sings lead on many songs)

MISSY (MILLER) LEE: Always the over-achiever of the group, Missy has nowblossomed into a full-fledged adult over-achiever. She is an elementary schoolteacher, wears horn-rimmed glasses, and her mousy-brown hair is curlier thanshe quite knows how to manage. She has recently returned from her honeymoonwith her new husband Bill, an audience member. She controls the evening’sevents, even when Betty Jean is in charge: Missy is the one to cover formistakes, and is always ready to jump in and save the day. She has an inner-sexiness (even slightly kinky) that comes out every once-in-a-while, much toher surprise and embarrassment. She has been best friends with Suzy sinceelementary school. (Soprano with belt – floats very high vocals)

SUZY (SIMPSON) STEVENS: Suzy is happy-go-lucky, a little giddy, a littlesilly, and just a little pregnant. She’s always willing to go along withanyone and anything, and she seems to giggle at just about anything. She findsgreat pleasure in everything she does; the sillier it is, the more fun shefinds it. Her pregnancy has brought out her attention-deficit disorder, andshe reverts to her childhood on the drop of a dime. She is married to Ritchie,her high-school sweetheart, who is running the lights for the performance. Herhoney-blond hair is reminiscent of early Marlo Thomas/”That Girl.” Her bestfriend is Missy. (Mezzo Alto with big belt.)

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Winter Wonderettes page iii

WINTER WONDERETTES

MUSICAL NUMBERS

ACT ONE

MISTER SANTA..................................................... EnsembleROCKIN’ CHRISTMAS MEDLEY

ROCKIN’ AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE .............. Betty Jean, EnsembleJINGLE BELL ROCK ......................................Missy, EnsembleLITTLE SAINT NICK ................................ Cindy Lou, EnsembleA MARSHMALLOW WORLD ....................................Suzy, Ensemble

CHIPMUNK CHEER................................................... EnsembleSNOWFALL ......................................................... EnsembleTHE MAN WITH THE BAG ............................................ EnsembleCHRISTMAS AROUND THE WORLD

IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME ALL OVER THE WORLD ...................... Ensemble¿DÓNDE ESTÁ SANTA CLAUS? ...............................Suzy, EnsembleMELE KALIKIMAKA....................................... Missy, EnsembleO TANNENBAUM..................................... Betty Jean, EnsembleWE WANNA SEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO ................. Cindy Lou, Ensemble

SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN................................... EnsembleCHRISTMAS WILL BE JUST ANOTHER LONELY DAY......... Betty Jean, Ensemble

ACT TWORUN, RUDOLPH, RUN ............................................... EnsembleSUZY SNOWFLAKE.............................................Suzy, EnsembleTHIS CHRISTMAS............................................Missy, EnsembleALL THOSE CHRISTMAS CLICHÉS....................................Cindy LouBELLS MEDLEY

RING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS............................Missy, EnsembleSLEIGH RIDE .......................... Cindy Lou, Betty Jean, EnsembleJINGLE BELLS............................................Suzy, Ensemble

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEAR’S EVE? ...........................Betty JeanSANTA BABY ....................................................... EnsembleWINTER WONDERLAND ............................................... Ensemble

Act One running time: approximately 45 minutes.Act Two running time: approximately 40 minutes.

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page iv Winter Wonderettes

WINTER WONDERETTES

Music Clearance by Rubicon II Music Clearance, Burbank, CA.All Songs Used By Permission. All Rights Reserved.

“A Marshmallow World” by Peter DeRose and Carl Sigman. Used by permission of Shapiro,Bernstein & Co., Inc.

“All Those Christmas Clichés” by Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. © 1993 MB Music Corp.(ASCAP), Pen and Perseverence (ASCAP) & Hillsdale Music Inc. (ASCAP). All rights onbehalf of Pen and Perseverence & Hillsdale Music Inc. administered by WB Music Corp.(ASCAP)

“Christmas Will Be Just Another Lonely Day” by Lee Jackson and Patti Seymour. Used courtesyof Ahab Music Company, Inc. (BMI)

“¿Dónde Está Santa Claus?” by Alvin Greiner, Rod Gordon Parker and George Scheck, RagtimeMusic Co.

“It’s Christmas Time All Over The World” by Hugh Martin. © 1965 (Renewed) Used courtesy ofCromwell Music, Inc.

“Jingle Bell Rock” by Joe Beal and Jim Boothe. © 1957 (Renewed) Chappell & Co., Inc. (ASCAP)“Jingle Bells” by J. Pierpont. Arrangement © 2003 Steele Spring Productions.“Little Saint Nick” by Michael Love and Brian Wilson. © 1963, 1991 Irving Music, Inc. (BMI)“The Man With The Bag” by Dudley Brooks, Harold Stanley & Irving Taylor. Used by permission

of Morley Music Co.“Mele Kalikimaka” by R. Alex Anderson. Used courtesy of Universal Music.“Mister Santa” by F. D. Ballard. Used by permission of Edwin H. Morris & Company, a division

of MPL Communications, Inc.“O Tannenbaum” German Traditional. Arrangement © 2003 Steele Spring Productions.“Ring Those Christmas Bells” by Marve Fisher and Gus Levene. © 1952 (Renewed) Shawnee Press,

Inc. (ASCAP)“Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” by Johnny Marks. © 1958 (Renewed 1986) Used courtesy of

St. Nicholas Music Inc.“Run, Rudolph, Run” by Johnny Marks and Marvin Brodie. Used courtesy of St. Nicholas Music

Inc.“Santa Baby” by Joan Javits, Phil Springer and Tony Springer. Used courtesy of Tamir Music

Publishers. Administered by Alley Music Corporation and Trio Music Company, Inc.“Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” by J. Fred Coots and Haven Gillespie. © 1934 (Renewed) Haven

Gillespie Music and EMI Feist Catalog Inc.“Sleigh Ride” by Mitchell Parish and Leroy Anderson. Used courtesy of EMI Mills Music, Inc.“Snowfall” by Claude Thornhill and Ruth Thornhill. © 1941 (Renewed) Chappell & Co. (ASCAP)“Suzy Snowflake” by Roy C. Bennett and Sid Tepper. © 1951 (Renewed) Chappell & Co., Inc.

(ASCAP)“This Christmas (Hang All The Mistletoe)” by Donny Hathaway and Nadine McKinnor. Used

courtesy of BMG Songs, Inc. and Crystal Raisin Music (ASCAP).“(We Wanna See) Santa Do The Mambo” by Fred Smith and Horace Webb. Used through the courtesy

of Regent Music Corp. (BMI)“What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?” by Frank Loesser. Used by permission of Frank Music

Corp.“Winter Wonderland” by Bernard Felix and Dick Smith. © 1934 (Renewed) WB Music Corp. (ASCAP)

ACT ONEChristmas, 1968.We are in Harper’s Hardware, a large hardwarestore on Main Street in Springfield. Between theaisles of hardware supplies are two large giftbox panels (behind which are the Fireplace andChristmas Tree). There is a hanging bannerreading “Harper’s Hardware Holiday Happening.”On each side of the stage is a gift packageunit. There are casters on each, and when rolledtogether into the center, they connect andcreate different levels for seating. Behind allis a large cyc, changing colors and mood foreach musical number.Betty Jean has worked at Harper’s Hardware sincegraduating from Springfield High School in 1958.The four girls formed their singing group toperform at their senior prom, reuniting fortheir ten-year reunion earlier this year. Mr.Harper placed Betty Jean in charge of thisyear’s company Christmas party, and she gatheredthe girls to create this Christmas Concert.Audience members are referred to as employeesand their family members.In the dark we hear an announcer:

MR. HARPER (V.O.)Employees, friends and loved ones – this is Mr. Harper. Welcome to myhardware store and our 1968 company Christmas party. It is with greatpomp and pleasure that I now introduce the entertainment portion oftonight’s festivities. Please welcome The Marvelous Wonderettes!

Music to MISTER SANTA begins in the dark. Lightsup on BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU, MISSY and SUZY.They are dressed in different styles and fabricsof blue, accented with silver rhinestonesnowflakes of various sizes.

MISTER SANTA ALL

BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM,BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM (BUM)BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM,BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUMMISTER SANTA, BRING US SOME TOYS

BETTY JEANBRING US SOME TOYS

ALLBRING MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL GIRLS AND BOYS.

BETTY JEANBRING US SOME TOYS

ALLAND EV’RY NIGHT WE’LL GO TO SLEEP SINGINGAND DREAM ABOUT THE PRESENTS YOU’LL BE BRINGING.SANTA, PROMISE US PLEASE,

Winter Wonderettes------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BETTY JEANJUST BRING THE TOYS

ALLGIVE EV’RY REINDEER A HUG AND A SQUEEZE.WE’LL BE GOOD, AS GOOD CAN BE,MISTER SANTA DON’T FORGET ME.BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM,BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM (BUM)BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM,BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM

BETTY JEANMISTER SANTA, WE’VE BEEN SO GOODWE’VE WASHED THE DISHES AND DONE WHAT WE SHOULDMADE UP THE BEDS AND SCRUBBED UP OUR TOESIES,WE’VE USED A KLEENEX WHEN WE’VE

ALLBLOWN OUR NOSEIES.

BETTY JEANSANTA,

CINDY LOUSANTA,

SUZYSANTA,

MISSYSANTA,

BETTY JEANLOOK AT OUR EARS,

ALLTHEY’RE CLEAN AS WHISTLES, WE’RE SHARPER THAN SHEARS

BETTY JEANNOW WE’VE PUT YOU ON THE SPOT,

MISSYON THE SPOT,

ALLMISTER SANTA BRING US A LOT.(HO, HO, HO) HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO HOHO, HO, HO, HO, HO!HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO HOHO, HO, HO, HO, HO!

SUZYMISTER SANTA

RITCHIE’S VOICE (V.O.)HO, HO, HO!

Ritchie (who’s running the lights in the back ofthe store) flashes the lights on “Ho, Ho, Ho!”Suzy laughs and waves at him.

SUZYThat’s funny, Ritchie!

Winter Wonderettes page 3------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Betty Jean and Missy are slightly flusteredwhile Cindy Lou sings on.

MISSYSuzy – pay attention!

ALLBE AWFUL CAREFUL AND PLEASE DON’T GET SICK

BETTY JEANOH, DON’T GET SICK

ALLPUT ON YOUR COAT WHEN BREEZES ARE BLOWIN’,AND WHEN YOU CROSS THE STREET LOOK WHERE YOU’RE GOIN’.

BETTY JEANSANTA,

CINDY LOUSANTA,

SUZYRITCHIE,

MISSYSANTA,

ALLWE LOVE YOU SO (WE LOVE YOU SO)WE HOPE YOU NEVER GET LOST IN THE SNOWTAKE YOUR TIME WHEN YOU UNPACK,

MISSYWHEN YOU UNPACK,

ALLMISTER SANTA HURRY,PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASEMISTER SANTA, PLEASE HURRY BACK!

BETTY JEANSANTA, DON’T FORGET TO BRING ME LOTS AND LOTS OF TOYS!

Applause. THEY acknowledge the audience andtheir reaction.

BETTY JEANHi everyone! Welcome to Harper’s Hardware Holiday Happening!

THEY all turn and gesture toward the banner.

SUZYOr as I like to call it: “Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho!”

Suzy giggles at herself and the others react.

BETTY JEANMost of you know me – I’m Betty Jean. I’m up in corporate sales.

BETTY JEAN acknowledges the audience. SHE’s veryproud of her position at Harper’s Hardware.

CINDY LOUI’m Cindy Lou.

MISSYI'm Missy.

SUZYI'm Suzy.


BETTY JEANAnd we're…

ALLThe Marvelous Wonderettes.

They strike their “Wonderettes” pose.

MISSYBut at this time of year, we’re the Winter Wonderettes.

They all mime falling snow, then strike the samepose. There is a slight pause.

MISSYBetty Jean — you’re in charge.

BETTY JEANOh right! What’s next?

MISSYTime to decorate…

BETTY JEANOh right! Time to decorate!

Music in.During the following medley the girls pull outvarious holiday decorations to turn the hardwarestore into a winter wonderland.

ROCKIN’ CHRISTMAS MEDLEY

ROCKIN’ AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREEBETTY JEAN

ROCKIN’ AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREEAT HARPER’S HARDWARE SHOP,

CINDY LOU brings mistletoe to BETTY JEAN.MISTLETOE HUNG WHERE YOU CAN SEEEV’RY COUPLE TRIES TO STOP.

MISSY and SUZY turn one of the gift box panelsto reveal a mostly-decorated Christmas Tree.

ALLROCKIN’ AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE,

BETTY JEANLET THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT RING.

BETTY JEAN hangs the mistletoe center.

ALLLATER WE’LL HAVE SOME PUMPKIN PIEAND WE’LL DO SOME CAROLING.

CINDY LOU and MISSY string garland, SUZY gets asmall gift package and brings it center.

BETTY JEANYOU WILL GET A SENTIMENTAL FEELING WHEN YOU HEARVOICES SINGING:

BETTY JEAN lifts the lid of the box. CINDY LOUand MISSY reach in to pull out two long stringsof silver tinsel garland. THEY string it up.


ALL“LET’S BE JOLLY, DECK

BETTY JEANTHE HALLS WITH

ALLBOUGHS OF HOLLY.”ROCKIN’ AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE

BETTY JEANHAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY

ALLEV’RYONE DANCING MERRILYIN THE NEW OLD FASHIONED WAY

BETTY JEANMissy…!

Immediate segue…

JINGLE-BELL ROCKSUZY and BETTY JEAN turn the other gift boxpanel to reveal the fireplace. CINDY LOU (whoseldom actually moves furniture) ‘displays’ thefireplace as it turns.

MISSYJINGLE-BELL, JINGLE-BELL, JINGLE-BELL ROCK,JINGLE BELLS SWING AND JINGLE BELLS RING.SNOWIN’ AND BLOWIN’ UP BUSHELS OF FUN,

ALLNOW THE JINGLE HOP HAS BEGUN.

MISSY sits on the hearth and passes out bells tothe girls: a Bell Wreath to BETTY JEAN, a BellSnowflake to CINDY LOU, and the Santa Bell toSUZY.

MISSYJINGLE-BELL, JINGLE-BELL, JINGLE-BELL ROCK,JINGLE BELLS CHIME IN JINGLE-BELL TIME.

The others shake and ring their bells wildly.DANCIN’ AND PRANCIN’ IN JINGLE BELL SQUARE

MISSY stops them.IN THE FROSTY AIR

THEY now dance with their bells to hang on theset, with the Santa Bell being placed on aprominent pedestal on the mantle.

WHAT A BRIGHT TIME, IT’S THE RIGHT TIME TO

ALLROCK THE NIGHT AWAY.

MISSYJINGLE-BELL TIME IS A SWELL TIME

ALLTO GO GLIDIN’ IN A ONE-HORSE SLEIGH

MISSYGIDDY-YAP JINGLE HORSE, PICK UP YOUR FEET,


ALLJINGLE AROUND THE CLOCK.MIX AND MINGLE IN A JINGLIN’ BEAT,

MISSYTHAT’S THE JINGLE-BELL ROCK.

Immediate segue…CINDY LOU taps MISSY on the shoulder, who‘yields the stage’ to her.

LITTLE SAINT NICKCINDY LOU

WELL, WAY UP NORTH WHERE THE AIR GETS COLD,THERE’S A TALE ABOUT CHRISTMAS THAT YOU’VE ALL BEEN TOLDAND A REAL FAMOUS CAT ALL DRESSED UP IN RED,AND HE SPENDS THE WHOLE YEAR WORKIN’ OUT ON HIS SLED

MISSY rings the Santa Bell, indicating Santa’sentrance. BETTY JEAN brings out a Santa in aBarbie convertible for the mantle.MISSY rings the Santa Bell on each “Little SaintNick,” annoying CINDY LOU.

IT’S THE LITTLE SAINT NICK

BETTY JEAN, MISSY & SUZYOOH, LITTLE SAINT NICK

CINDY LOUIT’S THE LITTLE SAINT NICK


MISSY rings the bell again.

CINDY LOUWhat’s with the ringing?

MISSYIt’s the Santa bell. Remember we talked about this.

One final ring from MISSY; CINDY LOU angrilycuts her off before turning back out to perform.

CINDY LOUAND HAULIN’ THROUGH THE SNOW AT A FRIGHT’NIN’ SPEEDWITH A HALF A DOZEN DEER

SUZY interrupts CINDY LOU, displaying a Rudolphfor the mantle.

SUZYWITH RUDY TO LEAD

CINDY LOUHE’S GOTTA WEAR HIS GOGGLES ‘CAUSE THE SNOW REALLY FLIESAND HE’S CRUISIN’ EV’RY PAD WITH A LITTLE SURPRISEIT’S THE LITTLE SAINT NICK





THEY recreate a sled, with CINDY LOU on top, theOTHERS as reindeer (SUZY in front with Rudolph).

ALLRUN, RUN, REINDEERRUN, RUN, REINDEERWHOA,RUN, RUN, REINDEERRUN, RUN, REINDEER

SUZYHE DON’T MISS NO ONE

Immediate segue…

A MARSHMALLOW WORLDMISSY takes Rudolph from SUZY. CINDY LOU andMISSY string twinkle light garlands. BETTY JEANgets a small stepladder and places it by thetree.

SUZYIT’S A MARSHMALLOW WORLD IN THE WINTERWHEN THE SNOW COMES TO COVER THE GROUND.

SUZY tosses snow confetti on the tree.IT’S THE TIME FOR PLAY; IT’S A WHIPPED-CREAM DAY;I WAIT FOR IT ALL YEAR ‘ROUND.

ALLTHOSE ARE MARSHMALLOW CLOUDS BEING FRIENDLY

SUZYIN THE ARMS OF THE EVERGREEN TREES,AND THE SUN IS RED LIKE A PUMPKIN’S HEAD,

ALLIT’S SHINING SO YOUR NOSE WON’T FREEZE.

BETTY JEAN helps MISSY up the stepladder toplace the tree-topper snowflake.

SUZYTHE WORLD IS YOUR SNOWBALL,SEE HOW IT GROWS,THAT’S HOW IT GOES

ALLWHENEVER IT SNOWS.

Without looking back, SUZY throws snow at thetree, dousing MISSY and BETTY JEAN.

SUZYTHE WORLD IS YOUR SNOWBALL JUST FOR A SONG,GET OUT AND

ALLROLL IT ALONG.

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSY bring out amarshmallow and candy-cane garland to hang onthe tree as they sing back-up.


SUZYIT’S A YUM-YUMMY WORLD MADE FOR SWEETHEARTS,TAKE A WALK WITH YOUR FAVORITE GIRLIT’S A SUGAR DATE;WHAT IF SPRING IS LATE;

ALLIN WINTER, IT’S A MARSHMALLOW WORLD.

SUZYHey girls!

Music break: SUZY passes out their Christmasstockings, rolled up. In time to the music, theyreveal them all at once. Each displays thegirl’s unique personalities. MISSY gathers themand hangs them on the mantle.

BETTY JEANYOU WILL GET A SENTIMENTAL FEELING WHEN YOU HEARVOICES SINGING:

ALL“LET’S BE JOLLY, DECK

SUZY and CINDY LOU reveal signs to hang in thestore. One reads: “COOL HOLIDAY SAVINGS BEGIN ATHARPER’S ON DEC. 26;” the other reads: “ALL XMASITEMS 1/2 OFF!”

BETTY JEANTHE HALLS WITH

ALLBOUGHS OF HOLLY.”ROCKIN’ AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE

BETTY JEANHAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY

THEY all gather center.

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYHOLIDAY

ALLEV’RYONE DANCING MERRILY


SUZYIT’S A MARSHMALLOW WORLD

SUZY and CINDY LOU run to the sides to bring onlarge extension cords, one end with a big masterbox.

MISSY (WITH BELOW)THAT’S THE JINGLE BELL,THAT’S THE JINGLE BELL,THAT’S THE JINGLE BELL ROCK

CINDY LOU, BETTY JEAN & SUZY (WITH ABOVE)IN THE NEW OLD FASHIONED WAY

ALLLights!


BETTY JEAN plugs the lights into the extensioncord; on the final button of the song theChristmas lights all come on as the girls pose.(The tree should have Charlie Brown lights, aswell as all of the strings of garland.)Applause.

SUZYOh my golly – it’s all so pretty!

BETTY JEANThe guys in the lumber department helped put this together for us.Doesn’t it look great?

MISSYThanks a lot everyone.

MISSY leads applause for everyone.Betty Jean…?

BETTY JEANOh right! I’m in charge.

SHE exchanges glances with CINDY LOU.Let’s see. I already welcomed you to the annual Harper’s HardwareHoliday Happening!

THEY all turn and quickly gesture back to thebanner.

SUZYOr as I like to call it,…

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSY“Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho.”

SUZYHey!

BETTY JEANI’m sure I told most of you about our singing group.

MISSYInterrupting.

The Winter Wonderettes.MISSY mimes snow and poses by herself.

BETTY JEANWell I‘ve been bugging Mr. Harper every day since we had our reunionconcert last spring. He finally decided to have us appear as tonight’sentertainment. This is Missy…

MISSYShowing off HER wedding ring.

Recently happily married!SHE points to a gentleman in the audience, whois now her husband BILL for the rest of theperformance.MISSY mouths the following to BILL.

“I love you Bill.”ALL of the girls acknowledge him. MISSY sharesmoments with BILL throughout the show.

SUZYMissy and Bill just got back from their honeymoon trip – Around theworld!


SUZY illustrates ‘around the world’ with a largearc of her hand, a gesture SHE repeats laterwhenever SHE repeats the phrase.

CINDY LOUI’ll bet he sent you around the world…

MISSYOh stop.

MISSY throws BILL a kiss.

SUZYAnd Missy made our dresses. Aren’t they sparkly?

THEY turn and model their dresses.

MISSYButterick’s Winter Wear Collection.

SUZYI wanted us to wear blue in honor of our friends of the Jewishpersuasion.

SHE looks proudly to the others.Happy Hanukah!

ALLHappy Hanukah!

BETTY JEANAnd this is Suzy.

CINDY LOUShe’s pregnant.

BETTY JEANAgain.

CINDY LOUShe just had the twins in June.

SUZY giggles maniacally.

SUZYI haven’t slept in six months.

CINDY LOUAnd the man responsible – Ritchie – he’s running the lights.

SUZYWe’re hoping for a little Ritchie Jr. this time. Isn’t that right,Ritchie honey?!

RITCHIE flashes the lights in response.He can set up and take down all the lights in here but he can’t fix thegarbage disposal.

The lights go out.Ritchie!

The lights come back on.Sorry.

BETTY JEANThis is my best friend in the world, Cindy Lou.

CINDY LOUAnd despite what you may read,

SHE covers the tattoo on her arm.I’m single.


BETTY JEANI told you we can fix that. There’s Stan in the accounting department,there’s Steve in electrical fixtures, and there’s always Bob inPlumbing.

CINDY LOUOooh – let’s see: an accountant, an electrician, and a plumber. Theseare my choices?

BETTY JEANHave it your way. But just so you know what you’re missing – that’s Bobin plumbing right there.

BETTY JEAN points to a handsome young man in theaudience. CINDY LOU reacts sexily toward him.

CINDY LOUHello Bob…

SUZYYou’re in plumbing – I’ll bet you can fix a garbage disposal.

The lights go out.

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYRitchie!!

The lights come back on.SUZY mouths and mimes “I’ll call you” to Bob.

CINDY LOUAnd of course you all know Betty Jean. She’s in Corporate Sales.

BETTY JEAN reacts to the crowd.And I think you all know her … husband, Johnny. He used to work in rawlumber. And where is Johnny tonight?

BETTY JEANPrivately to CINDY LOU.

I told you that subject was off limits tonight, end of discussion.Uncomfortable nervous laughter from SUZY andMISSY as BETTY JEAN and CINDY LOU square off fora moment. BETTY JEAN recovers simply.

I’m sure most of you were at the Springfield High School Pigskin ClassicHomecoming game last month. Go Chipmunks!

ALLGo Chipmunks!

MISSYChipmunks 3, Muskrats 0.

SUZYWe clobbered the pants off ‘em.

ALLGo Chipmunks!

THEY all jump up and down, then make chipmunkfaces to the audience.

BETTY JEANBack in the day the four of us were the Song Leaders at every home game.

CINDY LOUNot like the cheerleaders they have now.

THEY all agree.


MISSYC’mon – let’s do the Chipmunk Cheer for old time’s sake.

CINDY LOUDo ya think?

ALLGo Chipmunks!

SUZY gets a pitch-pipe and THEY gather downfront. SUZY blows two notes together. When THEYsing THEY start on a completely different note.

CHIPMUNK CHEERSUZY

Ready?

ALLOkay!

CHIPMUNK, CHIPMUNK, FLIP YOUR LITTLE TAILCHIPMUNK PRIDE WILL NEVER EVER FAILWE’RE THE TEAM YOU WON’T DEFEATWE’RE THE RODENTS YOU CAN’T BEATCHIPMUNK, CHIPMUNK, FLIP YOUR LITTLE TAIL

THEY do a vocal drum roll.

MISSYWE’LL CLIMB YOUR TREE

SUZYWE’LL PICK YOUR NUTS

CINDY LOUWE’RE HERE TO SAY

BETTY JEANWE’LL KICK YOUR BUTTS!

ALLGOOOOOOO - - - - CHIPMUNKS!

THEY all jump and cheer, then make chipmunkfaces once again.

BETTY JEANWhat’s next?

SUZYIs it time for the Elf?

MISSYNo. It’s the special dedication. Suzy…?

SUZYLast weekend Ritchie came in with all the guys in lumber and they puttogether this terrific set for us.

MISSYThanks again you guys!

MISSY applauds again.

SUZYAnd as you all know, last weekend was our first huge snowstorm. The guyswere trapped here all night. So Ritchie had them make us somethingspecial. Watch this…!


SUZY gestures and MISSY and BETTY JEAN roll thetwo side gift package units into the center,where they connect to create one large unit.

MISSYThanks again you guys.

MISSY is moved to tears. SUZY comforts her.

SUZYThe first day of snow is always the most specialest. You guys were stuckin here – with no windows – and you couldn’t see how wonderful it wasoutside. So we’d like to dedicate this next song to you. Ritchie…?

The lights change as the music comes in. THEYall sit on various levels of the gift packages.Throughout the following number the cyc lightsswirl softly and lightly behind them, whiletwinkle lights twinkle softly on and off,creating an effect of falling snow.

SNOWFALLALL

OOOHH,SNOWFALL, SOFTLY,GENTLY DRIFT DOWNSNOWFLAKES WHISPER

CINDY LOU & MISSY‘NEATH MY

BETTY JEAN & SUZY‘NEATH MY

ALLWINDOW

BETTY JEANCOV’RING TREES

CINDY LOUMISTY LIGHT

ALLVELVET BREEZES‘ROUND MY DOORSTEPGENTLY, SOFTLY,SILENT SNOWFALL, SNOWFALL

SUZYCOV’RING TREES

MISSYMISTY LIGHT

ALLVELVET BREEZES‘ROUND MY DOORSTEPOH, GENTLY, AND SOFTLY,SILENT SNOWFALLSNOWFALL, SNOWFALL

Applause.


SUZYAnd watch this: they even work in reverse.

SUZY signals as MISSY and BETTY JEAN return thegift box units to their original positions.

MISSYThanks again you guys.

MISSY applauds them once again.Betty Jean…

BETTY JEANWhat’s next?


MISSYNo, not the Elf. It’s time for Santa.

SUZYOverly excited.

It’s time for Santa!SUZY runs to get the Santa Bell from the mantle.MISSY and CINDY LOU move Santa’s Chair to theside of the stage, ready to make it’s entrance.This is similar to the classic Santa Chair seenin most department stores, perhaps smaller forsight lines when the girls are behind it. It ison a platform with casters.

BETTY JEANOh right! Some of you newer employees may be wondering where Mr. Harperis. Well – he does this every year. We never see him during dinner, butsoon we’ll get a special visit from a ‘Jolly Old Soul’ with the BonusEnvelopes!

SUZY rings the Santa Bell.

SUZYOh Santa!

Music in.

MISSYSuzy…!

MISSY pushes SUZY front for her solo, taking theSanta Bell and placing it back on the mantle.

THE MAN WITH THE BAGSUZY

OLD MR. KRINGLE IS SOON GONNA JINGLETHE BELLS THAT’LL TINGLE ALL YOUR TROUBLES AWAY

ALLEVERYBODY’S WAITING FOR THE MAN WITH THE BAG

SUZY‘CAUSE CHRISTMAS IS COMIN’ AGAINHE’S GOT A SLEIGHFUL, IT’S NOT GONNA STAY FULL,HE’S GOT STUFF TO DROP AT EV’RY STOP OF THE WAY



SUZY‘CAUSE CHRISTMAS IS COMIN’ AGAIN

ALLHE’LL BE HEREWITH THE ANSWERS TO THE PRAYERSTHAT YOU’VE MADE THROUGH THE YEAR

SUZYTo BETTY JEAN.

YOU’LL GET YOURS

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYTo BETTY JEAN.

IF YOU’VE DONE EV’RYTHING YOU SHOULD,EXTRA-SPECIAL GOOD

BETTY JEAN reacts positively.

SUZYHE’LL MAKE THIS DECEMBER THE ONE YOU’LL REMEMBERTHE BEST AND THE MERRIEST YOU EVER DID HAVE

ALLEVERYBODY’S WAITING FOR THE MAN WITH THE BAGCHRISTMAS IS HERE AGAIN

Dance break. THEY dance exuberantly, talkingexcitedly throughout.

MISSYOLD MR. KRINGLE IS SOON GONNA JINGLETHE BELLS THAT’LL TINGLE ALL YOUR TROUBLES AWAY


MISSYCHRISTMAS IS HERE AGAIN

CINDY LOUHE’S GOT A SLEIGHFUL, AND IT’S NOT GONNA STAY FULL,HE’S GOT STUFF HE’S DROPPIN’ EV’RY STOP OF THE WAY


CINDY LOUCHRISTMAS IS HERE AGAIN

ALLHE’LL BE HEREWITH THE ANSWERS TO THE PRAYERSTHAT YOU’VE MADE THROUGH THE YEAR

BETTY JEANGesturing to the audience.

WE’LL ALL GET OUR BONUSES

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYTo BETTY JEAN.

IF YOU’VE DONE EV’RYTHING YOU SHOULD,

BETTY JEANHA! EXTRA-SPECIAL GOODHE’LL MAKE THIS DECEMBER THE ONE I’LL REMEMBER


BETTY JEAN (CONT’D)THE BEST AND THE MERRIEST I EVER DID HAVE

SUZY has gotten the Santa Bell.

SUZYEV’RYBODY’S WAITIN’,

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYWE’RE ALL WAITIN’,

SUZYTHEY’RE ALL CONGREGATIN’

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYRIGHT HERE!

SUZYWAITIN’ FOR THE

ALLMAN WITH THE BAG


SUZYHere’s Santa!

THEY all gesture off-stage for Santa’s entrance.Nothing happens. After a few moments MISSYindicates to try it one more time. SUZY ringsthe Santa Bell again.

Here’s Santa!THEY repeat the same gesture. Nothing. SUZYrings the Santa Bell repeatedly as MISSY crossesto her.

CINDY LOUHow long does it take to put on a fat suit?

MISSYCovering SUZY’s ears.

Sshhh!

SUZYI know he’s not real.

SUZY holds up her crossed fingers.

BETTY JEANI’ll get him. Mr. Harper…!!

BETTY JEAN runs offstage to look for ‘Santa.’

CINDY LOUSo now what?

SUZYIs it time for the Elf?!

MISSYNo, not the Elf.

Then out to the audience.Apparently, Santa is still busy in his workshop creating wonderful giftsfor good little girls and boys.

CINDY LOUWith derision.

Oh boy…


MISSY shoots her a murderous look. She repeatsthe line happily and excitedly.

CINDY LOU (CONT’D)Oh boy!!

MISSYSo while we’re waiting for Santa to arrive, I think we should go on aspecial “Christmas Trip Around the World.”

SUZYRepeating the gesture from earlier.

Around the world.MISSY gets her travel bag, in which she’s placedsome of the props for the next section.

CINDY LOUBetty Jean!

BETTY JEANEntering.

I can’t find him anywhere.

CINDY LOUIt’s okay. We’re going around the world.

SUZYAround the world.

MISSYOh! I need the visual aid.

SUZYI’ll get it. We’re going around the world.

SUZY runs off to get the easel.

BETTY JEANI hope you remember what I told you about my song…

MISSYIt’s okay – it’ll be just fine. In this special tribute to “ChristmasAround the World”…

SUZY has returned with the easel: a self-contained triangle easel, with cards that flipfrom front to back. The top card reads:“CHRISTMAS AROUND THE WORLD.” SHE places theeasel on top of the side gift box unit.

SUZYAround the world.

MISSY…all of the items we’ll use are from the many wonderful places that Billtook me on our honeymoon.

Music in as MISSY mouths again:“I Love you Bill.”

MISSY hurriedly hands out sets of three largeindex cards to each of the girls. On the frontof each card is the name of the language theysing; on the back the phrase (if needed).

CHRISTMAS TIME ALL OVER THE WORLD


ALLBUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUMBUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM

MISSYIT’S CHRISTMAS TIME ALL OVER THE WORLDAND CHRISTMAS HERE AT HOMETHE CHURCH BELLS CHIME WHEREVER WE ROAM

Missy points to each as they reveal their cards.

BETTY JEANSO JOYEUX NOËL,

CINDY LOUFELIZ NATAL,

SUZYMangling the word.

GELLUKKIG KERSTFEEST

CINDY LOUGesundheit.

ALLTO YOU!

MISSYTHE SNOW IS THICK IN MOST OF THE WORLDAND CHILDREN’S EYES ARE WIDEAS OLD SAINT NICK GETS READY TO RIDE

BETTY JEANSO FELIZ NAVIDAD,

CINDY LOUCRÂCIUN FERICIT,

SUZYAND HAPPY NEW YEAR

CINDY LOUL’ Chaim!

ALLTO YOU!

MISSYTHOUGH THE CUSTOMS MAY CHANGE,

SUZYAND THE LANGUAGE IS STRANGE,

BETTY JEAN & CINDY LOUTHIS APPEAL WE FEEL IS REAL

ALLIN HOLLAND OR HONG KONG.

MISSYIT’S CHRISTMAS TIME ALL OVER THE WORLDIN PLACES NEAR AND FARAND SO, MY FRIENDS, WHEREVER YOU ARE,

BETTY JEANA FRÖHLICHE WEIHNACHTEN!


CINDY LOUKALA CHRISTOUGENA!

SUZYYOI KURISUMASU!

MISSYWHICH MEANS A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS

ALLTO YOU!

THEY form a pinwheel for the final measures.BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM,BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM!

Applause segue.CINDY LOU crosses to the easel. With a‘Tinkerbell’ sound cue, she flips the next cardto reveal: MEXICO. The music for the songfollows immediately after the sound cue. ALL getcastanets, palming them until they’re used.BETTY JEAN turns the Santa Chair backwards, andSUZY sits on her knees, peering over the back.SHE holds a Mexican blanket.

¿DÓNDE ESTÁ SANTA CLAUS?SUZY

MAMA SITA, ¿DÓNDE ESTÁ SANTA CLAUS?¿DÓNDE ESTÁ SANTA CLAUS?AND THE TOYS THAT HE WILL BRRRRRING?

SUZY breaks and smiles. Throughout the song SHEfinds places to break from her ‘acting’ of thesong and revel in what SHE’s doing.

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYWHERE CAN HE BE?

SUZYMAMA SITA,

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYOH, MAMA, DEAR

SUZY¿DÓNDE ESTÁ SANTA CLAUS?

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYOH, WHERE, OH, WHERE?

SUZYOH, WHERE IS SANTA CLAUS?

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYIS SANTA NEAR?

ALLIT’S CHRISTMAS EVE.

SUZYI KNOW THAT I SHOULD BE STILL SLEEPINGBUT MAYBE HE’S NOT FAR AWAY.

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYFAR AWAY


SUZYSO OUT OF THE WINDOW I’M PEEPING

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYYOU ARE PEEPINGHOPE I’LL SEE HIM IN HIS SLEIGH

SUZYHOPING TO SEE HIM IN HIS SLEIGH.I HOPE HE WON’T FORGETTO CRACK HIS CASTANET

THEY reveal and crack their castanets.AND TO HIS REINDEER SAY:

SUZY“ON PANCHO,

MISSYON VIXEN,

BETTY JEANON, PEDRO,

CINDY LOUON BLITZEN,

SUZYOLÉ, OLÉ, OLÉ!”

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSY (W/ABOVE)OLÉ, OLÉ, SANTA CLAUS!”

SUZYMAMA SITA, ¿DÓNDE ESTÁ SANTA CLAUS?OH WHERE IS SANTA CLAUS?

ALLIT’S CHRISTMAS EVE.

In the following, there are positively un-PCpronunciations of Spanish words.

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYJOU KNOW THAT JOU SHOULD BE STILL SLEEPING

SUZYBUT MAYBE HE’S NOT FAR AWAY.

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYSO OUT OF THE WINDOW YOU’RE PEEPING

SUZYJES, I’M PEEPINGI’M HOPING TO SEE HIM IN HIS SLEIGH.

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYIN HIS SLEIGH

SUZYI HOPE HE WON’T FORGETTO CRACK HIS CASTANET

ALLAND TO HIS REINDEER SAY:“ON PANCHO,ON VIXEN,


ALL (CONT’D)ON, PEDRO,ON BLITZEN,

SUZYOLÉ, OLÉ, OLÉ!”

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSY (W/ABOVE)OLÉ, OLÉ, SANTA CLAUS!”

SUZYMAMA SITA, ¿DÓNDE ESTÁ SANTA CLAUS?OH WHERE IS SANTA CLAUS?

Each of the following lines gets softer andsofter as they move SUZY back to her ‘bed’(chair). The final “Olé” should be whispered asSUZY falls asleep.

ALLIT’S CHRISTMAS EVE.IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE.IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE.OLÉ!

SUZY smiles on the button. Applause.

SUZYGracias.

The “Tinkerbell” sound cue again signals CINDYLOU, who reveals the next card on the easel:HAWAII. MISSY puts on a lei and smaller wristleis, and places three extra leis on her arm.MISSY sits atop the top gift box on the oppositeside unit, BETTY JEAN stands behind, and CINDYLOU and SUZY sit at each side on the bottomlevel. The girls, led by MISSY, all do modifiedhula hands during the song. They are somehowreminiscent of a combination of hula and signlanguage, which MISSY has obviously taught inschool.

MELE KALIKIMAKAMISSY

Aloha!MELE KALIKIMAKA IS THE THING TO SAYON A BRIGHT HAWAIIAN CHRISTMAS DAY

MISSY places leis on the others.

ALLTHAT’S THE ISLAND GREETING THAT WE SEND TO YOU

MISSYFROM THE LAND WHERE PALM TREES SWAY

SUZY and CINDY LOU move the gift package unitcenter, using their feet to push and pull. Itlooks like floating as THEY all use hula handsto move toward the center.

HERE WE KNOW THAT CHRISTMAS WILL BE

ALLGREEN AND BRIGHT


MISSYTHE SUN TO SHINE BY DAY, AND ALL THE

ALLSTARS AT NIGHT

MISSYMELE KALIKIMAKA IS

ALLHAWAII’S WAYTO SAY “MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU”

To the music beats, BETTY JEAN passes Ukulelesto SUZY and CINDY LOU (from underneath the giftbox float). BETTY JEAN gets her own Ukulele,which doesn’t actually play: it’s a trickUkulele rigged to hinge in half at the base ofthe neck.CINDY LOU and SUZY proudly display theirUkuleles and strum through the first half of themusic break. MISSY is extremely proud of them,and soon begins her own solo Hula Dance. Halfwaythrough, BETTY JEAN yelps as her Ukulele breaksin two. MISSY is thrown, and tries to cover,telling BETTY JEAN to fix it. After MISSY turnsback front to dance, BETTY JEAN trades herUkulele for a harmonica. SHE stands center onthe gift box float as she ‘ruins’ MISSY’S dancesolo, ending with a harmonious flourish from “OhSusannah.” MISSY turns to argue with BETTY JEAN,who sits center on the float just in time forMISSY to turn and finish the song. MISSY hulasback and forth, with the girls moving the floatbehind her, using their Ukuleles as ‘paddles.’

MISSYHERE WE KNOW THAT CHRISTMAS WILL BE

ALLGREEN AND BRIGHT

MISSYTHE SUN TO SHINE BY DAY, AND ALL THE

ALLSTARS AT NIGHT

MISSYMELE KALIKIMAKA IS

ALLHAWAII’S WAYTO SAY “MERRY CHRISTMAS, MERRY MERRY CHRISTMASMERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU.”

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU and SUZY play the ‘noseharp’ for the final chord before posing for thebutton. Applause.

MISSYMahalo. Mahalo very much.


MISSY goes to BETTY JEAN just as BETTY JEAN isabout to blow on her harmonica. MISSY holds outher hand.

BETTY JEANMissy…

MISSY clears her throat and BETTY JEAN gives herthe harmonica.CINDY LOU reveals the next card accompanied bythe “Tinkerbell” sound cue: GERMANY.

BETTY JEANI told you I didn’t want to do this song!

Music in as MISSY passes out choir books.

MISSYSshhh!

O TANNENBAUMTHEY all hold up their choir books to sing.

ALLO CHRISTMAS TREE, O CHRISTMAS TREEA TREE SO FAIR AND FAITHFUL

THEY all turn rigidly to a right angle.O CHRISTMAS TREE, O CHRISTMAS TREETO YOU WE ARE SO GRATEFUL

BETTY JEAN turns LEFT. MISSY signals with hereyes to turn back.

YOUR BOUGHS ARE GREEN IN SUMMER’S GLOWJust as BETTY JEAN makes it back angled right,the others all turn and angle left. BETTY JEANtries to correct herself.

AND DO NOT FADE IN WINTER’S SNOWAnd just as SHE does, THEY all turn facing frontagain. SHE gives up and turns out.

ALLO CHRISTMAS TREE, O CHRISTMAS TREEA TREE SO FAIR AND LOVELY

CINDY LOU, MISSY and SUZY all step back. BETTYJEAN realizes she’s front and center alone andsteps back with them. MISSY pushes a protestingBETTY JEAN out for the solo line.

BETTY JEANO TANNENBAUM, O TANNENBAUM,WIE TREU SIND DEINE BLÄTTER

SHE does a small curtsey and returns to the linewith the others.

MISSYThere’s more…

MISSY pushes her back out. BETTY JEAN over-enunciates the rest of the song.

BETTY JEANWIE TREU SIND DEINE BLÄTTERDU GRÜNST NICHT NUR ZUR SOMMERZEIT,


The other start giggling behind her, finallyguffawing and holding the choir books up overtheir faces. BETTY JEAN stays facing front.

BETTY JEAN (CONT’D)NEIN AUCH IM WINTER WENN ES SCHNEITO TANNENBAUM, O TANNENBAUM,WIE TREU SIND DEINE BLÄTTER

BETTY JEAN turns on the oohs, trying to catchthem laughing. THEY hold their choir books backdown with straight faces.

ALLOOHWIE TREU SIND DEINE BLÄTTER

Applause. THEY pass their choir books down toMISSY.

BETTY JEANDanke.

The following three responses to BETTY JEAN aredovetailed one on top of the other.

CINDY LOUI thought your German was very… distinct.

SUZYIt was very pretty.

MISSYYes, it was very well-enunciated.

BETTY JEANTo MISSY.

What did I ever do to you?

MISSY picks up the harmonica and blows a seriesof notes at BETTY JEAN. SHE holds it upaccusingly and crosses away.

CINDY LOUIt’s alright B.J. Let me show you how it’s done.

Music in. CINDY LOU dances toward the easel,revealing the next card (THE CARIBBEAN) with abump and a vocal:

Huh!

WE WANNA SEE SANTA DO THE MAMBOCINDY LOU

I WANNA SEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBOSEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBOSEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBOMAMBO, SANTA CLAUS.

ALLWE WANNA SEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBOSEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBOSEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBOMAMBO, SANTA CLAUS.


CINDY LOUYOU DON’T HAVE TO BRING ME A GOSH-DARN THINGBUT B.J. REALLY NEEDS SOME JOYMISSY DOESN’T NEED A DIAMOND RINGAND SUZY JUST WANTS A BOY


CINDY LOUI LIKE YOUR TUMMY THAT’S BIG AND ROUNDYOUR KISSES HAVE GOT AROUNDJUST WANNA SEE YOU MAMBOAND I HOPE YOU WON’T LET US DOWN


BETTY JEAN, MISSY and SUZY get maracas. Duringthe following CINDY LOU mambos, a bit toosuggestively toward BOB.

CINDY LOUTHE MAMBO!THE MAMBO!HI BOB!

BETTY JEAN rushes down with her maracas,mimicking CINDY LOU. It turns into a grotesquelysexy Mambo war…

BETTY JEANHI BOB!

CINDY LOUTHE MAMBO!

BETTY JEAN & CINDY LOUTHE MAMBO!

BETTY JEAN and CINDY LOU are now spoiling for afight. They begin bickering (“You wanna takethis outside?” etc.) as MISSY and SUZY rush downin between them to stop the fight fromescalating. MISSY brings maracas to CINDY LOU.

MISSY & SUZYHEY!

WE WANNA SEE

ALLSANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBOSEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBOSEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBOMAMBO, SANTA CLAUS.WE WANNA SEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBO


ALL (CONT’D)SEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBOSEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO, THE MAMBOTHE MAMBOTHE MAMBOTHE MAMBO

CINDY LOUI WANNA SEE SANTA DO THE MAMBO

Huh!Applause. CINDY LOU takes the applause as theothers pass in their maracas. SHE then turnsaccusingly to BETTY JEAN.

CINDY LOUA little childish, do you think?

BETTY JEANA little embarrassing, do you think?

BETTY JEAN mimics CINDY LOU toward BOB.Hi Bob!

CINDY LOUMaybe if you’d done that for Johnny once in a while…

SHE turns and retreats after throwing her barb.

BETTY JEANExploding.

Hey! You leave Johnny out of this!BETTY JEAN turns on MISSY.

And why does she always get the sexy song while I get the dorky one?CINDY LOU cuts her off. (The first part of thesong is a capella.)

SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWNCINDY LOU

Hey!YOU BETTER NOT SHOUT,

BETTY JEAN protests, CINDY LOU cuts her off.YOU BETTER NOT CRY,

CINDY LOU sings the word “Cry,” and MISSY andSUZY ‘get it.’

MISSY & SUZYOooh!

BETTY JEAN protests once again, stoppedfervently by CINDY LOU.

CINDY LOUYOU BETTER NOT POUT, I’M

CINDY LOU riffs and wails on the word “I’m.”

SUZYWow!

CINDY LOUTELLING YOU WHY

Music in with percussive pickup.


CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYSANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWNSANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN

CINDY LOUHE’S MAKING A LIST, HE’S CHECKING IT TWICEHE’S GONNA FIND OUT WHO’S NAUGHTY OR NICE

ALLSANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWNSANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWNSANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN

CINDY LOUHE SEES WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPINGHE KNOWS WHEN YOU’RE AWAKEHE KNOWS IF YOU’VE BEEN BAD OR GOOD

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYSO BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

BETTY JEANOH! I BETTER WATCH OUT,

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYOut!

BETTY JEANI BETTER NOT CRY,

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYCry!

BETTY JEANI BETTER NOT POUT,

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYWE’RE TELLING YOU WHY


CINDY LOUHere we go!

BETTY JEANHe’s comin’!


THEY pull out the Santa Chair, and presentoffstage for Santa’s entrance as before.

SUZYHere’s Santa!

No Santa. They look to each other in franticconfusion.

BETTY JEANWhere is he?


CINDY LOUNow what?

MISSYTry again!

Music in for SANTA CLAUS reprise.

MISSYTurns!

ALLSANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWNSANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWNSANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWNYEAH!SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWNSANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWNSANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN


SUZYHere’s Santa!

THEY gesture again with same result. SUZY ringsthe bell as hard as possible and shouts off:

Here’s Santa!!!!

BETTY JEANOh for Pete’s sake!

BETTY JEAN rushes off. CINDY LOU moves the SantaChair back.

SUZYOh my golly. I’m having déjà vus all over again.

CINDY LOUSo now what do we do?


MISSY has nothing left in her entertainmentarsenal. SHE must finally relent to the Elf.

MISSYNow it’s time for the Elf!

SUZY is elated beyond words.

SUZYOkay everyone! It’s time to find the Elf! You have to find the Elf!There’s this Elf and you have to find him!

SHE continues until CINDY LOU calms her down.

CINDY LOUSuzy, settle down.

MISSYOne of the Christmas traditions Suzy’s Mother and father had was the“hiding of the Elf…”

CINDY LOUWell that certainly sounds dirty.

Take to CINDY LOU.


SUZYOh no – it was fun!

MISSYEvery Christmas Eve her Mother and Father would hide a little stuffedElf somewhere in their house. Whoever found it first would get a specialgift. Tonight…

SUZYI hid the Elf! I hid the Elf! I hid it!…

MISSY…Suzy has hidden an Elf somewhere in here.

MISSY gestures all around as the house lightscome up.

So now it’s time to play…

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYFind the Elf!

SUZYThis is real! You gotta find the Elf!

THEY urge the audience to look for the Elf.Look on the floor, look on a shelf, who will find the magic Elf?

THEY should all speak to audience membersthroughout, stopping for the following lines:

CINDY LOUSuzy, we need a hint.

SUZYOkay: Look high!

More time for looking.

CINDY LOUSuzy, we need another hint.

SUZYOkay: Look low!

More time for looking.Look in someone’s purse…

MISSYSuzy, we can’t find it anywhere. What does it look like?

SUZY gets the Elf from her Christmas stocking.SHE holds it up.

SUZYIt looks like this.

THEY ALL gasp at the same time.Close your eyes!!!!

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYClose your eyes, everyone! Etc.

THEY repeat this as SUZY goes out and findssomeone who has their eyes closed. SHE throwsthe Elf under their feet.

Find the Elf! Find the Elf!Ad-libs all around. When someone holds up theElf:

You found the Elf! You found the Elf! You get a prize!


MISSYCongratulations. Because of your amazing abilities at “elf-finding…”

A host/usher/server moves down to this personwith their prize.

…Your prize is a piece of Mrs. Harper’s special Chocolate Truffle Torte!

SUZYHand over the Elf! Hand over the Elf!

The Torte is given to the winner. The girlsgather around SUZY.

Doesn’t that look delicious? Let’s watch him eat it!

MISSYNo, no, no. You enjoy your special prize, and thank you all for playing:

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZY“Find the Elf!”

The house lights fade out.

SUZYOh – I think that went well.

MISSY and CINDY LOU react.

MISSYNow let’s see if Santa is ready to make his appearance.

SUZY gets the Santa Bell as MISSY and CINDY LOUcross their fingers. SUZY rings the bell.

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYHere’s Santa!

THEY gesture as before. BETTY JEAN runs on.CINDY LOU, MISSY and SUZY groan.

BETTY JEANI can’t find him. But I did find the Christmas Bonus Envelopes!

SHE holds them up in triumph. They are packs ofenvelopes tied together with a red velvetribbon, with a green piece of paper on top.

CINDY LOUB.J.…

BETTY JEANOh shh.

SHE opens the ribbon and reads from the coloredpaper.

“Don’t you dare ,” underlined, underlined, “pass these out until Santaarrives.” Well Santa has left the building.

SHE tosses the green paper aside.

MISSYBetty Jean Reynolds! You can’t…

BETTY JEANOh, I’m practically the Vice President of the company. I think I’mallowed.

SHE starts going through them.Not mine, not mine, not mine, not… Oh here you go, Bob.

SHE gives one to BOB down front.Girls, help pass these out…


House lights up as CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZY helpget these passed out to audience members. BETTYJEAN passes some out to the front rows. THEYinstruct everyone not to open them yet.

BETTY JEAN (CONT’D)Now nobody open them yet.

These envelopes all contain pink slips. On oneside it should read in big bold letters: “YOU’REFIRED!” On the back, list whatever works for thetheater: intermission specials, discount ticketsfor return visits, desserts, etc.CINDY LOU watches the girls, and signals toBETTY JEAN when everyone has finished.

Hey – who has mine?!

CINDY LOUHere it is! I’ve got it!

THEY return to the stage. House lights remainup. CINDY LOU hands the envelope to BETTY JEAN.

Well – open it! Let’s see how much we got.A small take from BETTY JEAN.

You got.

BETTY JEANOoh – I’m so nervous.

SUZYWow – it’s just like Christmas.

THEY look at SUZY.

BETTY JEANOkay everyone: open your bonus envelopes!

General commotion from the audience as they readthe pink slips. BETTY JEAN should wait a fewmoments, not hearing anything the audienceactually says.

How much is it? How much did we get?The house lights come down, helping focus theaudience back to the stage.

CINDY LOUOh for God’s sakes, just open it up.

BETTY JEAN rips open the envelope and pulls outthe pink slip.

SUZYOoh -- It’s pink. How pretty.

CINDY LOUThat can’t be right…

CINDY LOU takes the pink slip and reads aloud.“As of December Thirty-First, Harper’s Hardware will be closing itsdoors…”

SHE hands the pink slip to SUZY, who continuesreading.

SUZY“Thank you for your many years of dedication and hard work.” Isn’t thatnice?


MISSY & CINDY LOU stage whisper into SUZY’s ears(so audience can hear):

CINDY LOU & MISSY“She got fired.”

SUZY reacts toward BETTY JEAN.

SUZYOh.

THEY whisper again:

CINDY LOU & MISSY“They all got fired.”

SHE finally gets it. SHE reacts out.

SUZYOhhh! I’m, so sorry…

SUZY puts the pink slip on the mantle.

MISSYBetty Jean, are you all right?

BETTY JEANIt’s just par for the whole damn course. I was just hoping for one goodthing this Christmas, ya know? That’s all I wanted.

CINDY LOUBetty Jean…

BETTY JEANGo ahead. Tell ‘em the rest. I know you already figured it out.

MISSYFigure out what?

CINDY LOUNow at a loss to explain.

Johnny… He…SHE can’t. SHE turns to BETTY JEAN.

BETTY JEANYeah Johnny. Sure, we gave it another shot. But he left again lastmonth. For good.

Music in.Isn’t that a kick? Just before the holidays.

(Author’s Note: This song should not beperformed as “Poor me.” SHE should perform thiswith the strength and resolve we know she’llfind inside to overcome her situation.)

CHRISTMAS WILL BE JUST ANOTHER LONELY DAYBETTY JEAN

IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE AND SNOW IS ON THE GROUNDMISTLETOE AND HOLLY ALL AROUNDYES ALL THE WORLD IS HAPPYBUT SINCE YOU WENT AWAYMY CHRISTMAS WILL BE JUST

BETTY JEAN & CINDY LOUANOTHER LONELY DAY


MISSY & SUZYANOTHER LONELY DAY

BETTY JEANANOTHER LONELY DAY

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYANOTHER LONELY DAY

BETTY JEANMY TREE IS TRIMMED WITH PRETTY COLORED LIGHTSAND AT THE TOP THE CHRISTMAS STAR SHINES BRIGHTYES EVERY THING AROUND ME IS VERY BRIGHT AND GAYBUT XMAS WILL BE JUST




CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYANOTHER LONELY DAY

BETTY JEANI HAD A LONELY SEPTEMBER, OCTOBER, NOVEMBER TOOBUT DECEMBER IS TWICE AS LONELY

ALLWITHOUT YOU, WITHOUT YOU (I’M LONELY WITHOUT YOU)

BETTY JEANFOR SOON IT WILL BE TIME FOR SANTA CLAUSAND SURELY HE WILL BRING YOU BACK BECAUSEWITHOUT YOU HERE BESIDE MY WORLD WILL BE SO GRAYAND XMAS WILL BE JUST




CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYA LONELY DAY


ALLANOTHER LONELY DAY

Blackout.

END OF ACT ONE


ACT TWOAbout fifteen minutes later.Lights up on a big Rock ‘n’ Roll number. Thegirls enter one by one as they sing. They haveon antler headbands, tied behind their necks.

RUN, RUDOLPH, RUNMISSY

OUT OF ALL THE REINDEER,YOU KNOW YOU’RE THE MASTERMIND

SHE gestures for SUZY’s entrance.

SUZYRUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,RANDOLPH AIN’T TOO FAR BEHIND

THEY gesture for CINDY LOU’S entrance.

CINDY LOURUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,SANTA’S GOT TO MAKE IT TO TOWN

THEY gesture for BETTY JEAN’s entrance. BETTYJEAN is not there.

MISSYWhere is she?

CINDY LOULate as usual.

SUZYI told her we were starting.

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYTELL HIM HE CAN TAKE THE FREEWAY DOWN

SUZY pushes CINDY LOU into BETTY JEAN’s spot.

SUZYYou sing it.

CINDY LOUSinging like BETTY JEAN.

RUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,REELING LIKE A MERRY-GO-ROUND

SUZYYou sound just like her!

CINDY LOUThanks.

MISSYSAID SANTA TO A BOY CHILD:“WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN LONGIN’ FOR?” “ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS AROCK ‘N’ ROLL ELECTRIC GUITAR!”AND THEN AWAY WENT RUDOLPH,

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYWHIZZING LIKE A SHOOTING STAR!RUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,


SUZYSANTA’S GOT TO MAKE IT TO TOWNSANTA’LL MAKE HIM HURRY,TELL HIM HE CAN TAKE THE FREEWAY DOWN

CINDY LOU & MISSYTELL HIM HE CAN TAKE THE FREEWAY DOWN

SUZYRUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYREELING LIKE A MERRY-GO-ROUND

Music break. BETTY JEAN appears at the back ofthe house with a plastic cup of beer. SHE iswearing her antlers around her neck.

BETTY JEANHey! You started without me!…

MISSYBetty Jean! You missed your cue…

SUZYI told you we were starting…

BETTY JEANI was just getting a beer…

CINDY LOUOoh - she was at the bar. What a shock.

BETTY JEANSuzy - I told you to tell me when we were starting…

SUZYI did tell you! I promise I told her…

BETTY JEANWell start the song over…

MISSYWe can’t start over…

CINDY LOUDon’t worry, I sang your part for you.

MISSYYou’ll just have to jump into the song where we left off…

SAID SANTA TO A GIRL CHILD:“WHAT WOULD PLEASE YOU MOST TO GET?”

BETTY JEAN“A LITTLE BABY DOLL THAT CANCRY, DRINK, SLEEP AND WET.”

SHE toasts the audience.Bottoms up, everyone!

MISSY angrily gestures for BETTY JEAN to put thebeer down on the mantle.

MISSYAND THEN AWAY WENT RUDOLPH,WHIZZING LIKE A SABER JET

ALLYEAH!


ALL (CONT’D)RUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,

BETTY JEANSANTA NEVER MADE IT TO TOWN

MISSY reacts to BETTY JEAN.Well he didn’t!

SUZYSANTA’LL MAKE HIM HURRY,TELL HIM HE CAN TAKE THE FREEWAY DOWN

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYTELL HIM HE CAN TAKE THE FREEWAY DOWN

SUZYRUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,

ALLREELING LIKE A MERRY-GO-ROUND

CINDY LOUHere we go!

Dance break. CINDY LOU leads the vocalsthroughout.

ALLHUH! HUH! HUH! HUH!RUN, RUN, RUDOLPH,REELING LIKE A MERRY-GO-ROUND

Applause. BETTY JEAN picks up her beer.

MISSYHi everyone, we’re back.

They repeat the Wonderettes pose with the snow.It seems that everyone is doing fine after… uh… after…

SUZY…the pink slips?

CINDY LOU…the beheadings?

BETTY JEAN…the wholesale dismissal of our lives?

THEY are all looking at MISSY for her answer.

MISSYLet’s just call it the ‘holiday event’ and move forward.

BETTY JEANDon’t worry. Bob cracked open the keg in back. We’re all doing justfine. Thanks Bob!

BETTY JEAN toasts BOB.I don’t feel like being in charge anymore, though. You’re doing great.

BETTY JEAN toasts to MISSY and takes a swig. SHEtakes off her antlers and continues to drinkduring the following. SUZY whispers to MISSY:

SUZYIt’s okay. You’re better at it.


MISSYWell okay then. Since everyone just got fired at Christmas…

SHE realizes what she’s said as the others groanin response.

…perhaps we should share some of our… happier Christmas memories.

BETTY JEANYou know, I’m gonna have happy Christmas nightmares if you don’t getthose things off your heads!

THEY realize they still have on their antlers.

MISSYOh! Antlers…

THEY take them off and pass them down to MISSY.

CINDY LOUHair check!

THEY all agree as MISSY opens the hinged top onone of the gift box units and places the antlersinside. On the lid of the box is anadvertisement for AQUANET, with a large canclipped in the center. MISSY takes the can andpasses it down to CINDY LOU on the end. CINDYLOU proudly displays the can.

CINDY LOU (CONT’D)Aquanet. Hardware for your hair.

SHE then sprays a steady stream of hairsprayinto the air as the girls all pass under it.

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!CINDY LOU dips her head under the last littlebit of spray and puts the can back and closesthe lid. The others check each other to fixwhatever the antler headbands may have done totheir wigs.

MISSYSo Suzy – would you like to share a happy Christmas memory?

SUZYOh my golly, there’s so many. Of course there’s the Elf!

The others react.There’s running down the stairs on Christmas morning to see what Santabrought.

SHE holds up her crossed fingers.There’s Dad’s special homemade Christmas Spurkey.

CINDY LOUSpurkey?

SUZYSpurkey. Spam in the shape of a turkey.

Reactions.I made it for Ritchie last year. It was pretty good.

The lights go out.Richard…

Lights back up. The others suppress laughter asSUZY glares at Ritchie.


SUZY (CONT’D)Anyhow, my most favorite thing was the first day of snow. Every morningin December I’d jump out of bed, I’d rush to the window,

Music in.…And if it was snowing out, this is what Mom would say:

SUZY SNOWFLAKE“Wheee! Look who’s coming!”

HERE COME SUZY SNOWFLAKE,DRESSED IN A SNOW-WHITE GOWN,TAP, TAP, TAPPIN’ AT YOUR WINDOWPANETO TELL YOU SHE’S IN TOWN.

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYHERE COMES SUZY SNOWFLAKE,SOON YOU WILL HEAR HER SAY:

SUZY“COME OUT EV’RYONE AND PLAY WITH ME,I HAVEN’T LONG TO STAY.

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYIF YOU WANT TO MAKE A SNOWMAN

SUZYI’LL HELP YOU MAKE ONE,

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYONE, TWO THREE.

SUZYIF YOU WANNA TAKE A SLEIGH RIDE,

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYWHOOSH!

SUZYTHE RIDE’S ON ME!”

ALLHERE COMES SUZY SNOWFLAKE,LOOK AT HER TUMBLIN’ DOWN,BRINGING JOY TO EV’RY GIRL AND BOY,SUZY’S COME TO TOWN.

SUZYWait! I have a surprise…

SUZY exits. BETTY JEAN and CINDY LOU arebewildered.

BETTY JEANSuzy…!

CINDY LOUWhere’s she going?

MISSYSuzy’s been working all week on this surprise. Just go to the beginning.

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYHERE COMES SUZY SNOWFLAKE,SOON YOU WILL HEAR HER SAY:


SUZYShouting from off-stage.

Just a minute! I’m not ready yet. Keep Singing…!

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYHERE COMES SUZY SNOWFLAKE,DRESSED IN A SNOW-WHITE GOWN

SUZY rushes out, dressed as a snowflake, coveredin rhinestones. It is reminiscent of a babysnuggly, and when she spreads her arms, SHEmakes the shape of a snowflake. SHE has a‘snowflake wand,’ and wears tap shoes. BETTYJEAN and CINDY LOU are both shocked and amused.

SUZYCOME OUT EV’RYONE AND PLAY WITH ME,

SUZY does a cartwheel to the center.SUZY’S BACK IN TOWN.IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A SNOWMAN

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYWE’LL HELP YOU MAKE ONE,

BETTY JEANONE,

CINDY LOUTWO,

MISSYTHREE.

SUZYTHEN TO FINISH OFF YOUR SNOWMAN,

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYTHEY back up.

WHOOSH!Now comes SUZY’s tap solo. It starts slowly,reminiscent of a child’s first recital. In timeto the music:

SUZYTap, tap, tap! Tap, tap, tap!I’m in town!

The tap gets more intricate as it goes into stoptime. When the music cuts altogether, SUZY goesinto an incredible tap break (feet of flames)surprising even MISSY. SHE ends with 12 sets ofwings: the first 8 are perfect, the next four wecan tell SHE’s done and ready to stopaltogether. THEY come to her rescue and sit herin the Santa Chair. THEY fan her as THEY rollher down along the front of the stage.

ALLHERE COMES SUZY SNOWFLAKE,LOOK AT HER SITTING DOWN,

SUZYExtremely winded and out of breath.

BRINGING JOY TO EV’RY GIRL AND BOY,


SUZY (CONT’D)SUZY’S COME TO TOWN.

SUZY gets up for her final tap moment and pose.

ALLSUZY’S COME TO TOWN.

SUZYWheeeeeee!

The others applaud SUZY as she curtseys.

CINDY LOUCute outfit.

SUZYThanks. Missy helped.

BETTY JEANSurprise.

SUZYMissy, help.

SUZY crosses to MISSY for help in getting out ofthe outfit. THEY struggle, turning the wrong wayand pulling at sleeves.

CINDY LOUThis looks like another Christmas nightmare in the making…

BETTY JEANWithout a doubt!

MISSY finally pulls the snowflake down to SUZY’sknees, revealing SUZY’s rump. MISSY quicklycovers her back up. SUZY turns front, holdingthe entire outfit between her legs with the wandin between her teeth. SHE giggles, and ‘Buffaloshuffles’ off as best she can.The others stare at each other. MISSY is readyfor her own Christmas memory, but needs someoneto ask her.

MISSYSo…

BETTY JEAN & CINDY LOUSooo…

MISSY clears her throat. CINDY LOU asks in aflat, rehearsed voice.

CINDY LOUSo Missy – what’s your favorite Christmas memory?

MISSYOh – thanks for asking. I loved every December evening when Nana and Iwould get in our jammies, sit in front of the fire with a nice hot cupof cocoa, and make everyone’s Christmas presents. And I made somethingspecial for each of you this year!

MISSY gets gift boxes from under the tree andpasses them out to the girls. SUZY returns.

CINDY LOUYou didn’t have to do that…

BETTY JEANI didn’t get you anything.


SUZYOh my golly, how sweet.

MISSYNow this is a new skill I learned this year. Go ahead and open them.

They open the gifts. Each is crocheted. SUZYreceives two mittens, one with no thumb, theother with two thumbs. BETTY JEAN receives theworld’s longest scarf, looking like pieced-together potholders. CINDY LOU receives a weirdcrocheted muff, which stretches to full arm’slength as she plays with it. Reactions allaround.

I hope they fit.THEY all say the following lines together:

CINDY LOUOh, of course it will fit. But the styling of it is just so amazing.I’ll just hang it in the closet and look at it from time to time, do yathink? Thanks Missy!

BETTY JEANUh, don’t worry about the length. I can think of lots of uses for this.I can use it as a shammy to dry my car, and Halloween is just around thecorner… Thanks Missy!

SUZYOoh -- I’m sure these will work when the baby comes. Maybe I can usethem as puppets. Weird puppets for sure, but puppets just the same.Maybe even diapers if necessary… Thanks Missy!

THEY put the gifts away. As they put the giftsaway, CINDY LOU whispers to BETTY JEAN:

CINDY LOUShe’s so weird…

MISSYThis year will be my first Christmas as a happily married woman…

She mouths the following again: (“I love you, Bill!”)…and I’m hoping to create some new happy Christmas memories.

Bell tone.

THIS CHRISTMASThe first part of the song is a capella.

HANG ALL THE MISTLETOEI’M GONNA GET TO KNOW YOU BETTERTHIS CHRISTMASAND AS WE TRIM THE TREEHOW MUCH FUN IT’S GONNA BE, TOGETHERTHIS CHRISTMASTHE FIRESIDE IS BLAZING BRIGHT

MISSY gestures to the fire, but it’s not on.SUZY flips a switch, and the fireplace lights upand flickers. MISSY reacts.

WE’LL BE CAROLING THROUGH THE NIGHTMusic in.

AND THIS CHRISTMAS WILL BE


MISSY (CONT’D)A VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS FOR ME

I have a present for you too, Bill.SHE goes to the tree and opens another gift box.SHE pulls out a sheer white nightie with Maraboutrim. SHE hold it against herself as she turnsaround to show the girls. THEY react, then MISSYturns front, lines herself up under themistletoe and vamps directly at Bill.

HANG ALL THE MISTLETOEI’M GONNA GET TO KNOW YOU BETTERTHIS CHRISTMASAND AS WE TRIM THE TREEHOW MUCH FUN IT’S GONNA BE, TOGETHERTHIS CHRISTMASTHE FIRESIDE IS BLAZING BRIGHT

SHE opens her arms, ‘undressing’ herself.WE’LL BE CAROLING THROUGH THE NIGHT

SHE covers back up with the nightie.AND THIS CHRISTMAS WILL BEA VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS FOR ME

SHE puts the nightie down on the Santa Chair.THE PRESENTS AND CARDS ARE HEREMY WORLD IS FULL OF CHEER, AND YOU

ALLTHIS CHRISTMAS

MISSY gestures out and the house lights come up.

MISSYLIGHTS TWINKLE ALL AROUNDBUT YOUR EYES OUTSHINE THE TOWN,

MISSY enters the house, and now vamps and singstoward Bill.

ALLTHEY DOTHIS CHRISTMAS

MISSYTHE FIRESIDE IS BLAZING BRIGHT, WE’RE

ALLCAROLING

MISSYTHROUGH THE NIGHT

ALLAND THIS CHRISTMASWILL BE

MISSYA VERY SPECIAL

ALLCHRISTMAS FOR ME

MISSYWhooo!


MISSY rushes back onstage, holds the nightie upand ends with a final set of sexy oohs.

MISSY (CONT’D)OOOH.

SHE takes an embarrassed curtsey when sherealizes what she’s done. Applause.CINDY LOU and SUZY rush over. SUZY takes thenightie and holds it up in front of her.

SUZYHey Ritchie – whattayathink?

Lights flash, SUZY giggles. CINDY LOU takes thenightie away. She’s seen enough…

What about you Betty Jean? Any happy Christmas memories?BETTY JEAN, at the fireplace, holds up her pinkslip. SUZY turns and simply moves on.

What about you, Cindy Lou? Any happy Christmas memories?CINDY LOU is now stuck in between SUZY & MISSY.

CINDY LOUI don’t really have many memories of Christmas.

SHE crosses away toward the fireplace.

MISSYOh you must…!

SUZYEverybody remembers something…

CINDY LOUI do have one Christmas memory. It was before we moved to Springfield. Iwas seven years old. Dad promised that if I was a good little girl Santawould bring me a Shirley Temple doll. You know, the one with the longringlets and the pretty red dress. Oh, I wanted that doll more thananything. I did everything right: all of my chores for a month — nevercomplaining. On Christmas morning — there was my Shirley Temple doll,just as he had promised. And that was the last Christmas Dad ever spentwith us.

Music in. CINDY LOU sits on the hearth. BETTYJEAN, MISSY and SUZY sit on the side gift boxunits.

Mother and I moved around a lot after that. And we never reallycelebrated Christmas anymore.

ALL THOSE CHRISTMAS CLICHÉSI’VE SPENT CHRISTMAS IN PEORIA,CHRISTMAS HERE IN SPRINGFIELD,CHRISTMAS IN LAS VEGAS AND L.A.,AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT COULDN’T MATTER LESSBUT LATELY, COME DECEMBER, I CONFESSI WANT THE TREE FULL OF TOYS AND TINSEL,I WANT THE WREATH ON THE RED FRONT DOOR,I WANT THE ELVES IN THE YARD,AND EACH SENTIMENTAL CARDDRIPPING GLITTER ON THE FLOOR,I WANT A ROOF FULL OF PLYWOOD REINDEER,


CINDY LOU (CONT’D)I WANT A ROAD FULL OF HORSE-DRAWN SLEIGHS,ALL THOSE CHRISTMAS CLICHÉS

I WANT THE TURKEY WITH ALL THE TRIMMINGS,SHE refers to SUZY, who responds with lightlaughter.

THE SPURKEY MOM HARDLY EVER MADE,I WANT THE GULP, AND THE TEARAT THE MOMENT THAT I HEARJOHNNY MATHIS BEING PLAYED,I WANT A LAKE FULL OF PERFECT SKATERS,I WANT THAT FRUITCAKE WITH SUGAR GLAZE,ALL THOSE CHRISTMAS CLICHÉS

NOT TO MENTION THE SNOW,NOT TO MENTION THE CHOIR,NOT TO MENTION THE CANDLES IN THE WINDOW

SHE rises.AND CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON THE FIRE

SHE crosses down center.INSIDE A HOUSE FILLED WITH NOISE AND LAUGHTERALONG A STREET BATHED IN TWINKLING LIGHTI WANT THE BELLS AND THE DRUMS,MISTLETOE AND SUGARPLUMS,AND KIDS TO TUCK IN TIGHTAND AS FOR THAT GUY IN THE BRIGHT RED OUTFIT,INSTEAD OF FLYING OFF HE STAYSALL THOSE CHRISTMAS CLICHÉSI WANT THOSE OVERBLOWN, CORNY,ENDLESSLY LOVELYCHRISTMAS CLICHÉS

As SHE finishes and the music plays out, BETTYJEAN, MISSY and SUZY cross over and engulf herin a large group hug. The lights create abeautiful final picture.After the applause, they remain in the hug. Wesee CINDY LOU’s face, who’s not quite sure whatto do with this kind of affection.

CINDY LOU (CONT’D)Okay. Okay. I feel the love. Watch the dress…

THEY release her and SHE straightens her dress.BETTY JEAN puts an arm around CINDY LOU’sshoulder.

BETTY JEANSo, Missy. How are we doing with those happy Christmas memories?

SUZYI think these two need better Christmas memories to remember.


MISSYYes. I think we need to ‘ring in’ some happy new Christmas memories! Andwe need all the help we can get. Girls – go pick out some laid-offemployees and bring ‘em up here.

The house lights come up as BETTY JEAN, CINDYLOU and SUZY go out into the audience to choosethree audience members. BETTY JEAN brings up BOBfrom the audience. MISSY sets the stage bybringing out three stools. SHE then gets thefirst set of bells (SR-Wreath) and brings themover to BETTY JEAN and BOB (SR).

And I think we all know who this is!

BETTY JEANEveryone -- you all know Bob from plumbing.

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYHi Bob!

MISSY gives the bells wreath to BOB.

BETTY JEANBob, your job is to ring these bells whenever you hear us sing the word“RING.”

MISSY sings from his other side.

MISSYRING

Ad-lib with the bell ringer.RING RING

Ad-libs again. CINDY LOU has gotten the name ofthe next person (CS). MISSY gets the next set ofbells (SL-Snowflake) and brings them over asCINDY LOU gives instructions.

CINDY LOUEveryone -- this is _______________________.

ALLHi ______________________!

BETTY JEAN_____________________ is Harper’s cashier of the month!

The girls all applaud.

CINDY LOUGood luck finding a new job, _________________________.

MISSY hands the snowflake bells to theparticipant.

Your word is JINGLE. Or any form of the word, like JANGLE or JUNGLE.MISSY sings.

MISSYJINGLE

Ad-libs. CINDY LOU sings.

CINDY LOUJINGLE JANGLE JUNGLE

Ad-libs. BETTY JEAN sings.

BETTY JEANRING

Ad-libs again.


BETTY JEAN (CONT’D)You’ve gotta be on your toes, Bob. (OR: Very good, Bob!)

MISSY gets the Santa Bell as SUZY instructs thefinal bell ringer (SL).

SUZYThis is _____________________ from the lumber department.

ALLHi ________________________ from the lumber department.

BETTY JEAN________________________ helped build our stage here tonight.

MISSYThank you so much!

MISSY charges over and drops the Santa Bell.When SHE picks it up, SHE demonstrates that theclanger is now missing, and the bell makes nosound. Everyone gasps.

SUZYNow we’ll never get Santa.

MISSYI’m so sorry. This is the only bell we have left.

SHE hands it to SUZY’s participant.

SUZYWell – you’ll just have to wave it around a lot when you hear your word.

MISSY whispers to SUZY.I forgot to tell you your word.

Whispering to MISSY.What’s her/his word?

MISSY whispers to her.Your word is BELL. Duh.

MISSY sings.

MISSYBELL

Ad-libs.

SUZYThat just looks silly. Maybe you should make a ringing sound too.

SUZY now sings very suddenly.BELL

Ad-libs. SUZY may have to help the person comeup with a word. If they choose “RING,” tell themit’s already taken, as is “JINGLE.”. “DING DINGDING” is good; SUZY can then “DING DING DING”with them throughout.

MISSYI think we’re all ready. Let the jingling…

THEY all react to make sure the JINGLE personshakes their bells.

…begin!Music in.During the BELLS MEDLEY, the girls help the bellringers, pointing to them, etc. SUZY continues


to help her ringer, making the bell noise withthem. Throughout, all of the girls singdifferent back-up words and sounds (all areindicated correctly in the VOCAL SCORE).MISSY moves around during the first song,singing in front of and around the bell ringers.Throughout

RING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLSALL

DING, DONG, DING, DONG

MISSYHEAR THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS GO

ALLDING, DONG

MISSYSOME FOLKS LIKE TO HEAR A CHRISTMAS SONGBUT I LIKE CHRISTMAS BELLS THAT GO DING DONGJINGLE, JANGLE, TING-A-LING OR JUST BING BONGI LOVE TO HEAR ‘EM RINGOH RING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLSRING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS

ALLWHILE THEY CHIME WE’LL HAVE A HAPPY TIME

MISSYSO RING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS

ALLDING, DONG, DING, DONG

MISSYOH THE MUSIC OF AN OPEN SLEIGHWHEN EV’RY JOLLY JINGLE SEEMS TO SAYHAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY HOLIDAYCOME ON AND RING ALONGOH RING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLSRING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS

ALLWHILE THEY CHIME WE’LL HAVE A HAPPY TIME

MISSYSO RING THOSE CHRISTMAS BELLS

Immediate segue…MISSY trades places with CINDY LOU, who moves SRfor solo. (MISSY is CS with “Jingle” ringer.)

SLEIGH RIDECINDY LOU

JUST HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING,RING-TING-A-TINGLING, TOO;

BETTY JEAN, MISSY & SUZYRING-A-LING-A-LING-A-DING-DONG-DING


CINDY LOUCOME ON, IT’S LOVELY WEATHER FOR ASLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOU.

BETTY JEAN, MISSY & SUZYRING-A-LING-A-LING-A-DING-DONG-DING

CINDY LOUOUTSIDE THE SNOW IS FALLING ANDFRIENDS ARE CALLING:

BETTY JEANYOO-HOO!

SUZYYOO-HOO!

MISSYYOO-HOO!

CINDY LOUCOME ON, IT’S LOVELY WEATHER FOR ASLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOU.

BETTY JEAN, MISSY & SUZYRING-A-LING-A-LING-A-DING-DONG-DINGRING-A-LING-A-LING-A-DING-DONG-DING

ALLRING-A-LING-A-LING-A-DING-DONG-DING

CINDY LOU trades places with BETTY JEAN, whosings here solo SR. (CINDY LOU is SR with BOB.)

CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYRING-A-LING-A-LING-A-DING-DONG-DING

BETTY JEANThe others provide back-up ‘bell-ringer’ soundsthroughout (as in VOCAL SCORE).

OUR CHEEKS ARE NICE AND ROSY,AND COMFY COZY ARE WE;WE’RE SNUGGLED UP TOGETHER LIKE TWOBIRDS OF A FEATHER WOULD BE.LET’S TAKE THAT ROAD BEFORE US ANDSING A CHORUS OR TWO;COME ON, IT’S LOVELY WEATHER FOR ASLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOU.

SUZYBELLS! BELLS!

MISSYJINGLE!

CINDY LOURING!

SUZYBELLS!

The music vamps under the following.As MISSY moves forward, CINDY LOU moves back to(CS) with the ‘Jingle’ ringer and BETTY JEANreturns to BOB (SR).


SUZYHey – this isn’t fair for ____________________ from the lumberdepartment.

MISSYNo it’s not. Everyone over here at this table (in this row/in thissection): you have to help ______________________ from the lumberdepartment. When we sing “BELL,” you all wave your hands in the air andmake bell noises like hers/his.

SHE sings:BELL!

Okay. Those were your indoor voices. Let’s try again with our outdoorvoices.

SHE sings again:BELL!

Very good! Much better.CINDY LOU comes forward.

CINDY LOUWell that’s dumb. If…

SHE’s completely forgotten the person’s name.The others say it quickly, and this section goesvery swiftly.

BETTY JEAN, MISSY & SUZY_______________________

CINDY LOU…from the lumber department gets help, then I think…

Yet again…

BETTY JEAN, MISSY & SUZY_______________________

CINDY LOU…Harper’s Hardware Cashier of the Month gets help too. So everybodyelse: when you hear the word “JINGLE,” I want you all to wave your handsin the air and shout “Jingle, Jingle, Jingle!” Try it now.

THEY do. CINDY LOU is turned on.Oh my. You’re good. Here we go!

Music continues into JINGLE BELLS as CINDY LOUmoves back to (CS) ‘Jingle’ ringer.

BETTY JEANBob: you’re on your own, honey!

MISSY takes over with the (SL) ‘Bell’ ringer asSUZY moves from SL to SR during her solo.

JINGLE BELLSSUZY

DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW,

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYSHE’S DASHING

SUZYIN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH,

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYSHE’S DASHING


SUZYO’ER THE FIELDS WE GO,

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYNOW SHE’S LAUGHING

SUZYLAUGHING ALL THE WAY.

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & MISSYHO! HO! HO! HO!

SUZYBELLS IN BOB’S HAND RING,MAKING SPIRITS BRIGHT,WHAT FUN IT IS TO RING THOSE BELLSIN OUR SLEIGHING SONG TONIGHT

Here we go!

SUZY (WITH BACK-UP)JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS,JINGLE ALL THE WAYOH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDEIN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH, RING!JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS,JINGLE ALL THE WAYOH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RINGWITH BOB IN HIS OWN WAYIN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH

ALLRing those Jingle Bells!

THEY tell everyone to keep ringing, watchingSUZY for the big cut-off. The pose around thebell-ringers for the button.Applause.The girls help their bell ringers back to theirseats. MISSY gathers the bells and removes thestools. BETTY JEAN takes BOB back to his seatand stays there a bit longer than the rest.

MISSYOh you were all so wonderful! Weren’t they wonderful? Let’s give themanother round of applause.

SHE leads them in applause as THEY finishclearing the stage.

I hope we didn’t create any Christmas nightmares for the three of you!

BETTY JEANRushing back from BOB.

Girls – you’ll never guess what happened!She mouths to the other girls:

(“Bob asked me out.”)

CINDY LOUWhat?

BETTY JEAN mouths it again.

BETTY JEAN(“Bob asked me out.”)


CINDY LOU, MISSY & SUZYWhat?!

BETTY JEANNow shouting.

Bob asked me out!

CINDY LOUAddressing BOB.

Bob! You sneaky devil.Back to BETTY JEAN.

But I thought you gave Bob to me…?

BETTY JEANAnd you gave him right back.

CINDY LOUAnd what about Johnny?

BETTY JEANOh – you’ve been begging me to move on. Don’t turn back now.

MISSYCongratulations Bob!

BETTY JEANHey – he just asked me out. It’s not like we’re engaged or anything.

THEY all turn and look right at BOB.Music in. BETTY JEAN moves into her spot SLC,the others drift back toward the fireplace.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEAR’S EVEBETTY JEAN

MAYBE IT’S MUCH TOO EARLY IN THE GAME,AH, BUT I THOUGHT I’D ASK YOU JUST THE SAME,“WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEAR’S, NEW YEAR’S EVE?”WONDER WHOSE ARMS WILL HOLD YOU GOOD AND TIGHT,WHEN IT’S EXACTLY TWELVE O’CLOCK THAT NIGHT,WELCOMING IN THE NEW YEAR’S, NEW YEAR’S EVE.

SHE begins tentative steps toward BOB. SHEcontinually gets encouragement from the others.

MAYBE I’M CRAZY TO SUPPOSEI’D EVER BE THE ONE YOU CHOSEOUT OF THE THOUSAND INVITATIONS YOU’LL RECEIVE.AH, BUT IN CASE I STAND ONE LITTLE CHANCE,HERE COMES THE JACKPOT QUESTION IN ADVANCE,“WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEAR’S,

ALLNEW YEAR’S EVE?”

CINDY LOU, MISSY and SUZY rush over and surroundBETTY JEAN as they stare at BOB, pointing atBETTY JEAN, giving him the ‘thumbs up,’ etc.This support lets her become a bit more forwardin her delivery.

BETTY JEANAH, BUT IN CASE I STAND ONE LITTLE CHANCE,HERE COMES THE JACKPOT QUESTION IN ADVANCE,


BETTY JEAN (CONT’D)“WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEAR’S,

ALLNEW YEAR’S EVE?”

Applause.

BETTY JEANWell I can’t wait for New Year’s. Goodnight everybody!

SHE starts off, stopped by CINDY LOU.

CINDY LOUWhoa, whoa, whoa. I’ve been waiting my whole life for Santa Claus. We’renot leaving until he gets here.

SUZYBut the Santa bell is broken…

CINDY LOU whispers to MISSY, then to BETTY JEANand SUZY.

MISSYOf course!

SHE turns and looks at BILL.Bill! C’mon!

House lights up as MISSY grabs BILL from theaudience and brings him onstage. House lightsback down. CINDY LOU and SUZY exit.BETTY JEAN moves the Santa Chair forward underthe mistletoe. MISSY seats BILL in the chair.CINDY LOU returns with a Santa hat and places iton Bill’s head. SUZY returns with a Santa bag,placing it next to his chair.Once BILL is set in his chair, MISSY responds tohow sexy he looks in his Santa hat.

MISSY (CONT’D)Oh, Santa…!

Music in.

SANTA BABYMISTER CLAUS, I FEEL AS THOUGH I KNOW YASO YOU WON’T MIND IF I SHOULD GET FAMILYA,WILL YA?

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU and SUZY sing back-up BUMsas MISSY gyrates and shimmies (in her buttoned-down way) to the opening beats of the music.

SANTA BABY, JUST SLIP A SABLE UNDER THE TREE FOR MEBEEN AN AWFUL GOOD GIRL SANTA BABY,SO HURRY DOWN THE CHIMNEY TONIGHT

BETTY JEANSANTA BABY, A SIXTY-EIGHT CONVERTIBLE, TOO, LIGHT BLUE,I’LL WAIT UP FOR YOU DEAR SANTA BABY, SO

ALLHURRY DOWN THE CHIMNEY TONIGHT

CINDY LOUTHINK OF ALL THE FUN I’VE MISSEDTHINK OF ALL THE FELLAS THAT I HAVEN’T KISSED


CINDY LOU (CONT’D)NEXT YEAR I COULD BE JUST AS GOODIF YOU CHECK OFF MY CHRISTMAS LIST

SUZYSANTA BABY, I WANT A BOY AND REALLY THAT’S NOT A LOTBEEN AN ANGEL ALL YEAR SANTA BABY, SO


THEY turn the chair at an angle to face BETTYJEAN.

BETTY JEANSANTA HONEY, ONE LITTLE THING I REALLY DO NEED; THE DEEDTO A PLATINUM MINE, SANTA HONEY, SO


THEY turn the chair to the opposite angle toface SUZY.

SUZYSANTA CUTIE, JUST FILL MY STOCKING WITH A DUPLEX AND CHECKSSIGN YOUR X ON THE LINE SANTA CUTIE,AND HURRY DOWN THE CHIMNEY TONIGHT

ALLDOWN THE CHIMNEY TONIGHT!

THEY turn the chair to face CINDY LOU, who oozessex during her solo.

CINDY LOUCOME AND TRIM MY CHRISTMAS TREEWITH SOME DECORATIONS BOUGHT AT FROM TIFFANY

She squeals with delight as SHE sits on thefloor next to BILL, tickling his kneesuggestively.

I REALLY DO BELIEVE IN YOULET’S SEE IF YOU BELIEVE IN ME

SHE grabs his leg exuberantly.Oh Santa!!

SUZY tugs at the chair, trying to dislodge CINDYLOU. MISSY dives toward CINDY LOU, held back byBETTY JEAN. CINDY LOU finally crawls away andrises. MISSY gets BILL to stand as BETTY JEANmoves the Chair away.

MISSYSANTA BABY, FORGOT TO MENTION ONE LITTLE THING, A RING

SHE shows the audience her wedding ring.I DON’T MEAN ON THE PHONE, SANTA HUBBY,

SHE whips off her glasses as she backs away.HURRY DOWN THE CHIMNEY TONIGHT

ALLShouted at him to scare him one last time.

Hey!SANTA -- HURRY ON DOWN!


They ALL gesture as in Act One.

ALL (CONT’D)He’s Santa!

Applause. MISSY holds onto his arm so he can’tleave, moving him SRC.SUZY holds up the Santa bag.

SUZYOh wait Santa – here’s your bag!

SUZY drops the bag at his feet. In her handsremain a bundle of envelopes identical to thosein Act One. MISSY picks up the Santa bag andhands it to BILL to hold.

Betty Jean… look!BETTY JEAN grabs the bundle, ripping off the redribbon and opening the green paper. SHE readsfrom the colored paper as before:

BETTY JEAN“Dear Betty Jean. HA. HA. HA. I just KNEW ,” underlined, underlined,“that you couldn’t wait for Santa. But now that he’s here you should allknow that Harper’s Hardware is still in business – we’ve just had ourbest year ever. Thank you all, and enjoy your Christmas bonus of onemonth’s salary!”

THEY all stare at Santa/BILL with arms open.

ALLOh Santa!

THEY all hug him. After a beat, THEY all look upto see where the mistletoe is, then take littlebaby steps over until he’s right under it. Oneby one they kiss him on the cheek, CINDY LOUlast. After her kiss, CINDY LOU hangs on to him,caressing his arm.

CINDY LOUYou’ve been working out, haven’t you Santa?

MISSYBack off, he’s mine!

MISSY pulls CINDY LOU away, taking the bag fromSanta/BILL and throwing it at CINDY LOU. BETTYJEAN and SUZY enthusiastically thank BILL asMISSY escorts him back to his seat. Many thankyou’s and applause.

CINDY LOUWow – this has been a terrific holiday! I think we all have some greatnew Christmas memories.

SUZYTo remember. And I’m glad you weren’t all fired!

BETTY JEANThank you Mr. Harper!!

MISSYTo all the employees of Harper’s Hardware and their friends and family:Thank you for having us and showing us such a wonderful time.

BETTY JEAN, CINDY LOU & SUZYYes, thank you, etc.


CINDY LOUMerry Christmas everyone.

MISSYMerry Christmas, Bill.

SUZYMerry Christmas, Ritchie.

BETTY JEANMerry Christmas, Bob.

Music bell tone.

WINTER WONDERLANDBETTY JEAN

SLEIGH BELLS RING, ARE YOU LIST’NIN’?

CINDY LOUIN THE LANE, SNOW IS GLIST’NIN’

MISSY & SUZYA BEAUTIFUL SIGHTWE’RE HAPPY TONIGHT!

ALLWALKIN’ WITH THE WINTER WONDERETTES

THEY pose. Music in with percussive pickup.GONE AWAY IS THE BLUEBIRD,HERE TO STAY IS A NEW BIRD,HE SINGS A LOVE SONG, AS WE GO ALONG,WALKIN’ WITH THE WINTER WONDERETTES.

CINDY LOUIN THE MEADOW WE CAN BUILD A

ALLSNOWMAN

CINDY LOUAND PRETEND THAT HE IS

ALLPARSON BROWN

CINDY LOUHE’LL SAY, “ARE YOU MARRIED?”WE’LL SAY

MISSY & SUZYYes!

CINDY LOUNo.

BETTY JEANKind of…

MISSY & SUZYWELL HE CAN DO THE JOB WHEN HE’S IN TOWN!

ALLLATER ON, WE’LL CONSPIRE,AS WE DREAM BY THE FIRE,TO FACE UNAFRAID, THE PLANS THAT WE MADE,


ALL (CONT’D)WALKIN’ WITH THE WINTER WONDERETTESIN THE MEADOW WE CAN BUILD A SNOWMANAND PRETEND THAT HE IS PARSON BROWN

MISSY & SUZYHE’LL SAY, “ARE YOU MARRIED?”YOU’LL SAY

BETTY JEAN & CINDY LOUWe’re workin’ on it…

MISSY & SUZYHE CAN DO THE JOB WHEN HE’S IN TOWN!

ALLWHEN HE’S IN TOWN!WHEN IT SNOWS, AIN’T IT THRILLIN’?THOUGH YOUR NOSE GETS A CHILLIN’WE’LL FROLIC AND PLAY THE WONDERETTE WAYWALKIN’ IN A WINTER WONDERLANDWALKIN’ IN A WINTER WONDERLANDWALKIN’ IN A WINTER WONDERLANDWALKIN’ IN A WINTER WONDERLANDWALKIN’ IN A WINTER WONDERLAND!

Final Wonderettes pose. Blackout.

MR. HARPER (V.O.)Employees, friends and loved ones – The Marvelous Winter Wonderettes!

Lights up. Bows to instrumental version ofWINTER WONDERLAND.THEY acknowledge the bell ringers, BOB and BILLduring FINAL BOWS.Blackout.

END OF ACT TWO

winter wonderettes script

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