why are narcissists are so dangerous-all

8/19/2019 Why Are Narcissists Are So Dangerous-All

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Why Are Narcissists Are So Dangerous?As you’ read beow! e"ery sur"i"or describes narcissists in DANGEROUS terms. #ach person that’s been "ictimi$ed personay by a narcissist wi warn you and ser"e as a cautionary tae that if you

wecome a narcissist into your ife! you’re dancing with the de"i% wecoming them in to do one thingand one thing ony to you: use! abuse and destroy you.

&any onoo'ers or those who ha"en’t e(perienced the narcissist in an unmas'ed state ha"e a hard time beie"ing that the peope we describe and the horrendous acts of abuse committed on us were done bythe "ery peope they ha"e a different opinion of. )hey don’t understand the disordered’s modusoperandi. )hey don’t understand that their beief that the narcissist is a *i'eabe or admirabe+character is e"idence that the danger has aready started! they’re manipuated by the narcissist’s *mas'+and they’re in compete denia of reaity.

)here are two main traits of a narcissist that most a other symptomoogy stems from: ,eusionareaity and ac' of empathy.

DELUSIONAL REALITY

)he first reason a narcissist is dangerous to others is because they are in compete denia of reaity.

ere are a few of the deusions that are aways present in a narcissist’s psyche:

Delusion of Grandeur - )his denia of reaity comes in the form of the narcissist ha"ing the beief aboutthemse"es that they ust deser"e more. )hey’re arger than ife! a ceebrity in their own minds! entitedto ta'e from peope without ha"ing to gi"e anything bac'. tatements that refect deusions of grandeur go something i'e this *,on’t you 'now who am+ * had to wait in ine for an hour+ * wont bespending & money here again! if this is the ser"ice get+.

According to the ,&- )5 grandiose-type symptoms incude grossy e(aggerated beiefs of onesown:

• sef-worth

• power

• 'nowedge

• identity

• e(ceptiona reationship to a di"inity or famous person.

Perfect Iage – Anyone who thin's that perfection is obtainabe and strugges to fee ‘worthy’ withoutachie"ing perfection is not in touch with reaity. 5eaity dictates that we are faabe. 6e ma'emista'es! we fai! we fumbe! we screw up% this is a fact of ife! nature! the uni"erse. 7or the narcissist!

they possess the deusion that if they or the peope around them achie"e an image of being *perfect+that they wi finay fee *o'+. )hey’re stri"ing for something outside of themse"es to fee goodinside% this wi 8##5 happen.

Entitlement – Others exist to serve them 9 8arcissists hod the deusiona thought that other human beings are obects that ony e(ist to ser"e their needs. )hey "iew others in an inhumane way whichaows them to act out on us with no empathy because they don’t beie"e we ha"e rights of our own thatthe narcissist needs to pay any attention to. )his compete and utter disregard for the rights of others!stems from their deusiona thoughts that ony 8# person benefits ;wins< and that is the narcissistthemse"es. 8arcissists "iew that e"eryone *owes+ them is not in any way! shape! and/or form

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*reaistic+.

!oun"aries "on#t e$ist % 8ot being aware of the boundaries that e(ist between two peope is a deniaof reaity. )he reaity is that two peope ha"e separate identities! with separate thoughts! feeings!moti"ations! dreams! ideas! goas and rights. 6hen a narcissist treats others as if they ha"e the right toorder! contro! push and dictate another’s beha"ior ;e"en if it’s manipuati"ey disguised as *hepfuad"ice+

Non&I"entity ' Non&Accounta(i)ity % =ecause a narcissist has a fe(ibe! chameeon i'e identity!they ha"e no soid foundation of sef other than being that of a manipuati"e! changing being. )heyha"e no sense of sef from which certain e(pectations and rues of conduct wi fow. )heir modusoperandi is *whate"er wor's+. ince they hod no code of ethics! their beha"iors are categori$ed tothem as either effecti"e or non effecti"e. #ffecti"e beha"iors wi be repeated regardess of the*conse>uences+ to others. ince a narcissist has no boundaries! they don’t see the impact to others! because they don’t see them as *others+.

A narcissist’s construct iteray goes i'e this:

8arcissist pounds your thumb with a hammer.

ou scream in pain and ye! *what did you do that for+

A narcissist wi be abe to say! *,o 6hat+ =eie"ing they did 8)8?! because they didn’t feeany pain whatsoe"er in their thumb.

f you insist on getting the narcissist to see the error of this whac'y e(change! you wi be tod! *6e!you shoudn’t ha"e had your hand on the tabe.+

)he subect wi be dropped and you wi spend your time feeing bewidered and perpe(ed by theinsanity of a! unti it happens again! then you’ focus on that atrocity and won’t be abe to see that thishas been the pattern a aong.

Narcissists are in charge of rea)ity 9 @ower mongers. ontro frea's who can’t recogni$e boundariesare the ony peope who can possiby beie"e that what they thin' is the reaity for ##58#. t becomes "ery apparent that a narcissist beie"es themse"es to be a 'nowing when they’re insistentthat they 'now what you thin'! what you are reay saying! who you reay are or what your moti"ationreay is. )heir entitement and ac' of boundaries aows them to pay ?od% they’re the writers of thescript! the great puppeteers! the a 'nowing 6i$ard of $.

6orn down targets find it easier to ust ro o"er and fod. 6e reai$e the narcissist’s abiity to argue andfight surpasses our own! we aren’t interested in winning ust being heard! but there comes a pointwhere it’s ust too e(hausting to ta'e the narcissist to tas' on these fre>uent power pays.

&ost reaistic peope ha"e an awareness of when they’re acting in a manipuati"e or coerci"e mannerand fee a sense of responsibiity to bac' off! not cross that ine or not offer unsoicited ad"ice or

opinions. 6e respect the boundaries of others! because we are aware they e(ist. 8arcissists ha"e 88#@) of these ines and what constitutes obtrusi"e beha"ior.

5apists! chid moesters! robbers and murderers ha"e the same inhumane "iew of peope! "iewing themas obects to e(poit at wi and ha"e no concept that it is wrong to "ioate or cross the demarcationines of another’s property! being or identity.

6e as an enightened society! B86 that these types of peope are dangerous and fran'y woud be>uite reie"ed committing these peope to institutions so that they can’t harm society in these atrociousways again. f you can understand this danger! then you can understand why former "ictims of


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narcissists "iew them with the same passionate concern for safety of themse"es and others.

LA*+ O, E-PAT.Y

ts my persona opinion that empathy is the one >uaity that ma'es a of us true human beings. )heabiity to ha"e a compassion for our feow man that causes us to beha"e in ways that do no harm tothem is a powerfuy connecting emotion. #mpathy is ha"ing the abiity to step into another’se(perience! set yoursef aside C aows you to honor anothers’ feeings and needs in a way that enrichesand edifies them. 6e need each other to respond in empathetic ways to our pain! ourney! and oysthrough ife% it connects us.

ne of the 'ey presenting traits of narcissists is their utter incapabiity to empathi$e. 6hen you see a pattern of human cruety that the narcissist commits on their o"ed ones or affiiates! you wi see theac' of empathy present in "arious ways:

gnoring re>uests to cease beha"ior ;i'e cheating ! steaing! ying! etc.< 8ame caing! critici$ing! beitting! mean *o'es+! abs and put downs ;"erba abuse<eria cheating

Arguments surrounding the same issues o"er and o"er )urning around the partners concerns to bame them and boc' the con"ersation

A frustrated partner who doesn’t fee *heard+! istened to! understood

8o cosure 9 no apoogies! no accountabiity! no conse>uences! no changeA partner who suffers the conse>uences of the narcissist’s repetiti"e pattern of poor / destructi"echoices

)he bottom ine to a these beha"iors

T.EY /UST DON#T *ARE0

)his bears repeating.

T.EY /UST DON#T *ARE0

8arcissists are capabe of inficting physica and psychoogica harm on others and are unmo"ed by the pight of those they hurt.

f you are trying to anay$e a narcissist’s beha"ior and hear yoursef saying! *=ut they DE,F+)@ 5?) )#5#. 6hether or not a narcissist *shoud+ care! is irree"ant because it was buit intothem a "ery "ery ong time ago! that they A8’) A5#. )hey don’t ha"e the buit in capacity to care:they ac' #&@A).

6hen we’re discussing the insidious subte(t to a narcissist’s dangerous beha"ior! et’s remember thaton the D57A#! the narcissist is sti pretending! charming! conning! manipuating! gi"ing you some

bones! 9 whate"er beha"iors wor' to get you to continue to stic' around e"en though the narcissistdoesn’t care and B86 )# ,8’) truy *care+ wi be the toos they use again and again to 'eepyou around.

onfused

)his is what narcissistic sur"i"ors go through. At e"ery moment! there are two reationships occurringthat is ust out of the conscious awareness of targets: )he *pretend+ reationship where the narcissistuses words not actions to con"ince you that what you ha"e is a o"ing reationship! you’re on the same page! your future is oo'ing brightF.I, you coud stop being imperfect! and doing the things the


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narcissist is actuay doing to pre"ent the reationship from wor'ing. ;)ransation: if you can ust be theconstant receptace of the negati"e traits the narcissist discharges on you and ne"er as' for anything foryoursef and don’t >uestion the twisted reaity you i"e in! then things wi wor' out and you’ get a"ersion of what you want: *their o"e+ 9 howe"er conditiona it is% and it is< )his smo'e and mirrorsreationship is the one where the *ta'+ is that the narcissist cares about you. t’s the reaity we try toi"e in! because the other is ust too painfu to bear.

)he other reationship is the 5#AE 8#: the constant barrage of twisted head games! the ayers ande"es of abuse! the syphoning off of your sou and ife force! the betrayas going on behind your bac'!the manipuation! the contro! the shaming and bame! the threats! the word saads! the ies. )his is thereationship that is e"ident in =#A5 that the narcissist truy does not care. 6hie we’re in it! we'eep this reaity at arm’s ength.

)he genera popuous wi fee fear when a seria 'ier’s m.o. is dispayed on nighty tee"ision. )hey’see the ac' of empathy >uite ceary and reai$e that there is something seriousy wrong with those peope and be aghast o"er how heartess someone can beha"e towards another human being.

)argets i"e this reaity up cose and persona e"ery singe day. 6e see the danger firsthand! we i"e it.

6e don’t suddeny wa'e up one day and say! *ou 'now! m going to be a $eaot about narcissism.

want to pic' on these o"ey peope because ’m mad at them.

f someone is seing themse"es this deusiona bit of goods! they are surey hed capti"e by thenarcissists deusions. 6e are $eaous about getting the word out there about this disorder and this abuse because we’"e a been burnt by the danger of a narcissist’s disorder.

8ot ust *touched+ with a match sighty burnt but our houses! our i"es! our sous! our identities! ourreationships! our "aues! our trust! our word "iews ha"e been torched to the ground in an aggressi"eact of intentiona arson.

Athough we are the star and credibe witness to this crime and ha"e the information that wi put thiscrimina away for years so that someone ese doesn’t suffer the same atrocity! no one beie"es it orcares enough that they step in to isten or hep us.

ince we cannot hod a narcissist accountabe! we can ma'e good use of our effort to enighten andeducate others who are "unerabe to this abuse and be the support to other targets whose abuse has been ignored and in"aidated by others who ha"e a probem recogni$ing their danger.

t’s been said that more is earned about the narcissist through what their former targets ha"e to sayabout them than anything they coud say about themse"es:

hristine: unreaistic sense of entitement "ery high ego superficia and "ein no conscience no empathyno sense of boundaries no guit no remorse : terribe e"i sic' twisted fuc'ed up monsters! rude and

"ery arrogant not human.starts smears campaigns and spreads ies and haf truths behind their "ictims bac' and a those who stand in the way of their e"i pans. the narc/sociopath prince/princess.

u$anna: )heir abiity to appear to others as the epitome of charm! o"e! and compassion! and onytheir "ictims see the rea side to them.

ua: )he ,e"i.

Eynne: )hey wi do whate"er it ta'es to get what they want. f they don’t achie"e it! they wi destroye"erything in their path! e"en chidren and famiy. )hey rein"ent history to suit their needs and destroydecent peope.


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Gudith: predatory! "icous! narcissistic! boodess F =oneess! "oid of any sou 9 the Antichrist of a,emons

Eori: pure e"i&egs: ompusi"e iar and a thief Bim: 5eentess.innamon: )AHE#A5 *)+ ony gets *65#+FFFFF..4 *D+HHH

,iana: ,emon possessed scumbags.athy: ef-absorbedEoa: &enta abusers

hawna: AE#8

hris: Iero nsight Iero #mpathy! not a good combo

5owena: on artists (usan: 5aging monsterar: redibe! pausabe! manipuati"e and to top it a off superficiay friendy! cam and decent. )hatma'es them aways oo' i'e the innocent party and their "ictim as whate"er they want to paint themout to beF unti the mas' comes off and then wait for the *’m so sorry we doubted you! we ne"er

guessed s/he coud be i'e that+ from those that initiay thought you were ust sagging him/her off ore(agerrating. )he true enabers wi simpy refuse to see the truth in front of them though no matterwhat! because they 6A8) to beie"e in the narcissist.,ebbi: e"iGac'y: ,iaboica predators

tephanie: @athoogica iars! "ictims themse"es! hoow eyed monsters! arrogant! bore easiy! awaysdoing something radica ;buying seing crap! change of obs

)ry getting di"orced from a 8arcissist n the abo"e great artice! the paragraph that particuary struc'me was the one tited *8on identityM8on accountabiity. &y 8 husband and ha"e been egayseparated for L years! and i"ing apart for more than N years. A of a sudden! in this past Apri 2014! hedecided to change the Eega eparation Agreement to a di"orce. )his necessitated my retaining aawyer. had no money! and an anonymous person ga"e me OK000.00 to fight for my rights in thisweird! sci-fi batte. 7i"e months of uginess! thousands of doars spent on each side! and guess what)he morning of the day we were to go to our fina court date to sign the di"orce papers! # tod hisawyer to drop the whoe thing. )wo hours ater! got an emai from m awyer saying the di"orce fiinghad been dropped y the court. &y awyer and had fought hard with awyer! and gained some

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things that woud ha"e heped me. A gone &y 8 husband fet no accountabiity e"en to his ownawyer and the court system!and in the end! capriciousy eft me bac' in imbo-andFF.with businessas usua. was so stunned! spent much of the ne(t two months seeping on the sofa with a ban'eto"er my head. e is NK and i am N2F..too od for this 'ind of nonsense. don’t 'now why he droppedthe di"orce.. )here must ha"e been.something financiay ad"antageous to him i doing so.

• puameliaclinic J 8o"ember 30! 2014 at 3:40 @&

5ebogged this on tPs A n )he ead.

• movinli!uid J 8o"ember 30! 2014 at L:24 @&

)he saddest part is we ony find out about narcissists when we ha"e suffered one. =y then it’s too ate.

• "anda J 8o"ember 30! 2014 at L:4N @&

)he worse is the oneiness you fee after or if e"er you get away. f you don’t respond they use theones you o"e to get to you. 8o one beie"ed me! they more bamed me and turned away ! tod me toget o"er it and ose the anger. hut down the creatures abiity to create ha"oc in my sou. )hey see meas unstabe and paranoid and ost faith in human 'ind because of it. had two encounters with twodifferent narcs at amost the same time. =oth reati"es and both o"ed. =ecause they were famiyosing them was impossibe. got to see and fee e"eryday the carnage they created in my ife. t is stithe same. &y mom ust passed and what the creature caused in that hospita whie she suffered wascrimina. =ut the creature got her show. At my mom Qs e(pense. need hep . need to get away.

• Desiree #retorius J ,ecember 1! 2014 at 1:1L A&

&y sef worth my ife my 'ids im a bro'en personF.

• $etsy J ,ecember 1! 2014 at L:40 A&

t’s my mother and her K other chidren and grandchidren. t’s gasighting and humiiating acti"ity. t’sying to others outside the famiy. t’s buying through emai and te(t messages. t’s psychoogicagames to ma'e me brea' down in ruin and sef doubt. t’s deep fear for mysef and my chidren both for

menta and physica anguish. t’s pure e"i.

• pooloftears J ,ecember 2! 2014 at 1:1K A&

f may woud i'e to contribute another thought about arguing with a narcissist ;in response to oneof the many >uotes characteri$ing their beha"ior


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f they can’t or don’t want to beat you at chec'ers! they might pay stomp-on-the-opponent’s-foot-under-the-tabe.

f that doesn’t wor'! they might pay harp-on-the-opponent’s-*ugy+-outfit-unti-they-snap.

f that doesn’t wor'! they’ ma'e up one game after another unti they find one in which they win andyou ose.

ame thing with an argument. )hey wi probaby ne"er admit you’re right! and you can be >uitecertain that if they do! they wi find some way to estabish themse"es as RmoreR right. )he ony wayto win against a narcissist is to get as far away as you can.

• marrohop J ,ecember 1N! 2014 at 10:32 A&

#"i 9 #"i they ha"e no compassion 9 for anybody 9 on the face-of-the earth. ncuding their ownchidren. Gust greed and compent for e"eryone. =ood-suc'ing eeches. &ay the de"i ta'e them.

• freebird%&'( J ,ecember 1S! 2014 at 3:KT A&

)o 8ancy 5obinson: our story hurts my heart 6hen was trying to hep a friend of mine with herdi"orce ;after mine! from my e(-8ar of 23 years

di"orce process


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*if something happened to me she woud ha"e nobody.+

?uess that statement says it a.

• /cott J Ganuary 11! 201K at T:2S A&

eah what she said! it is cra$y that so much of what has been stated appies. od! ?randiose (10!sefish! e"i! diaboica C those are her good >uaities

• sun0ist123 J Ganuary 13! 201K at 10:KN A&

)his is an e(ceent post and agree with e"erything you wrote. 7rom my e(periences! the worst aspectof it is the indi"idua’s *Ge'y/yde+ abiities- the abiity to ma'e e"eryone beie"e he isright/good/etc.! whie ’m essentiay the scum of the earth who’s wasting "auabe space by e(isting.e does not show his true sef to anyone but his "ictims.

• olosin!uito J Ganuary 1K! 201K at L:3S A&

)his sums it up so we. )hey are "ery dangerous! whether you are romanticay in"o"ed! or thenarcissist is ust your *friend.+ ou’ suffer in the end. =ut pease 'eep spreading the message thatthere is happiness again! once you get bac' on your feet.

http://counseingresource.com/features/200T/02/2N/bame-game/

P)aying the !)ae Gae as a

-ani1u)ation Tactic !y Dr George Sion2 PhD 34 *oents

=y habituay baming others for his own indiscretions! the disturbedcharacter resists modifying his probematic attitudes and beha"ior patterns.

’"e been pubishing a series of artices on the habitua beha"iors that notony 'eep persons with disturbed characters from de"eoping a sense ofaccountabiity and responsibiity but which aso ser"e as effecti"e tactics ofmanipuation. ;ee *Dnderstanding the ,ysfunctiona )actics of ,isturbedharacters+! which 'ic'ed off the series.<

@erhaps no beha"ior which disordered characters are prone to dispaying is

more common than their tendency to bame others when they do somethingwrong. onfront them on something they did that was insensiti"e!inappropriate! hurtfu! or e"en harmfu! and you’ find them paying the

bame game U pinning the faut on someone or something ese. ou’ oftenhear them caim that some person or circumstance made them do what theydid instead of ac'nowedging that they had a choice about how to respond tothe situation and faied to choose wisey.

https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2014/11/30/why-are-narcissists-are-so-dangerous/comment-page-1/#comment-9094http://asiteforme.wordpress.com/https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2014/11/30/why-are-narcissists-are-so-dangerous/comment-page-1/#comment-9115https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2014/11/30/why-are-narcissists-are-so-dangerous/comment-page-1/#comment-9115http://themorallydisorderedmind.wordpress.com/https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2014/11/30/why-are-narcissists-are-so-dangerous/comment-page-1/#comment-9130http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/02/27/blame-game/http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/02/27/blame-game/#commentshttp://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/02/12/dysfunctional-tactics-disturbed-characters/http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/02/12/dysfunctional-tactics-disturbed-characters/https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2014/11/30/why-are-narcissists-are-so-dangerous/comment-page-1/#comment-9094http://asiteforme.wordpress.com/https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2014/11/30/why-are-narcissists-are-so-dangerous/comment-page-1/#comment-9115http://themorallydisorderedmind.wordpress.com/https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2014/11/30/why-are-narcissists-are-so-dangerous/comment-page-1/#comment-9130http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/02/27/blame-game/#commentshttp://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/02/12/dysfunctional-tactics-disturbed-characters/http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/02/12/dysfunctional-tactics-disturbed-characters/http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/02/27/blame-game/


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)he tactic of baming has sometimes been caed pro4ectin the bame. )heterm proection stems from psychodynamic psychoogy and refers to one ofthe automatic menta beha"iors conceptuai$ed by traditiona theorists as egodefense mechanisms. )he rationae behind that notion is that sometimesindi"iduas unconsciously *proect+ onto others moti"ations! intentions! or

actions that they actuay harbor themse"es but which they woud fee far toounner"ed or guity about to ac'nowedge as their own.

8eurotic indi"iduas do indeed un'nowingy engage in proectiondefenses. =ut disordered characters 'now what they are doing.

8eurotic indi"iduas do indeed un'nowingy engage in proection defenses.=ut disordered characters 'now what they are doing. )hey are fuyconscious about what they 'now others woud see as the wrongfuness of

their beha"ior! despite the fact that they might be perfecty comfortabe withtheir course of action themse"es. )hey don’t ha"e enough guit or shameabout what they’re doing to change course. 8or are they so consumed withemotiona pain that they must ascribe to others the moti"ations they can’ttoerate in themse"es. 5ather! when they bame others for their wrongfuacts! it’s simpy an attempt to ustify their stance by casting themse"es as

being in a position where they simpy had no choice but to respond the waythey did. n this way! they simutaneousy e"ade responsibiity as we as

manipuate and manage the impressions of others. )he tactic goes hand inhand with the tactic of portraying onesef as a "ictim. t’s typicay aneffecti"e tactic that gets others to pay attention to e"eryone or e"erything esee(cept the disordered character and his wrongfu beha"ior as the source of a

probem.

ometimes the tactic of baming can be >uite subte. =y caing attention to awide "ariety of contributing circumstances! a manipuator can effecti"eyobscure his or her roe in the creation of a probem. )his *it wasn’t me+ tactic

is hard to detect when your attention is drawn to other *cuprits+ through thisdi"ersionary seight of hand.

oding manipuators and other disturbed characters accountabe for theirchoices and actions is a must. A person who won’t ac'nowedge his or her

bad choices and bad habits and repeatedy bames others for his shortcomingswi ne"er correct his erroneous thin'ing or beha"ior. 6hene"er he pays the

bame game! you 'now the disturbed character has no intentions of changing


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his ways. abituay baming others for his own indiscretions is a principaway the disturbed character resists modifying his probematic attitudes and

beha"ior patterns.

*on5ersationa) *oercion htt16778880"rogra"y0co79:47con5ersationa)&coercion7

A(out Dr0 Dennis O;Gra"y2 Psy0D

,r. ,ennis P?rady dei"ers 567)28E9 communication wor'shops that pro"ide a ommunication)oobo( fu of positi"e communication toos! to e(ecuti"e! manageria! and super"isory groups.

I, YOU DON#T AGREE WIT. -E2 I *LAI- TO !E -ISUNDERSTOOD

on"ersationa coercion is manipuating the outcome of a con"ersation in a pre-determined way! togain the upper hand strategicay in order to get your way. 7or e(ampe! may say! *ou’re notistening+ when in truth you’re simpy not agreeing with me. )hat e(ampe of con"ersationa coercionis a twisted ta' tric' which shows you that it’s going to be my way or the highway for you. =ut at whate(pense A good reationship

INSTIGATORS ARE T.E !EST DE!ATERS

nstigators! or -types! wi be the first to te you that the "ery best ideas stem from a good! fiercedebate. 6hat they won’t te you is that their ideas aren’t aways the right or best idea on the boc'. 8ow! truth be tod! we a want to get our way. t’s ust a pain od fact that nstigator communicatorsare masters at getting their pet ideas heard and acted upon. Are they good! or what =ut there’s a cost

in"o"ed: on"ersationa coercion ea"es feeings of frustration and misunderstanding! and creates adisconnect with others. )o put it dramaticay! #mpathi$er communicators can fee con"ersationaymugged or raped and their confidence assauted.

TE*.NI


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SE*RETS O, T.E TAL+ TRADE

)he abo"e e(ampes coerce co-communicators to ma'e them thin' that responsibiity is e(ercised in a*righteous or mora+ manner! when in fact! it may or may not be what’s happening. A few secrets of thecoerci"e ta' trade from my nstigator ;-types< guy and ga pas:

1. am a tough debater! but reai$e aso imit ta' options.

2. f you don’t agree with me! caim to be misunderstood.

3. Actuay! become frustrated that ’m not hearing from you what want to be hearing.

4. s this wor'ing for me 8ot reay. f the spirit of a con"ersation is to engage another person! then shoudn’t shepherd or steer them into a position that imits their options.

K. shoudn’t choose #mpathi$ers’ positions for them. =ut do.

L. can ta' circes around my opponents. on"ersationa coercion reay imits#mpathi$ers’ response options and fe(ibiity.

N. )his can precipitate a defensi"e posture with my #-type ta' partner. #(ampe: imit theoptions so se"erey that the #mpathi$er communicator has to fight his or her way out of acorner.

S. As an nstigator! ’m guity of *on"ersationa Abuse!+ because can focus the topic on anegati"e point and draw e"erybody into the fray.

T. =ecause am an -type! ha"e no doubt that a good defense ;)he ,efecting ,efense< isa good first-stri'e offense.

10. As an -type! aso beie"e that communication is a chess or po'er game. ou’"e got to pay to win the point. t either forces agreement or ma'es the other payer come up with acounter-argument "ery >uic'y! or a siege wi foow. 6ho cares more 6ho wi be theast one standing 6ho wi not surrender the point 6ho wi ha"e the ast word wi

11. am doggedy determined as an -type! and my menta gyrations or e(ercises areincrediby e(hausting on e"eryone in"o"ed. 6hat abe as *damage contro+ is a reaenergy-drainer! and it often causes e(treme reationship friction.

12. can con"ersationay set the agenda and pace indi"iduas into positions they wi ha"eto defend. say authoritati"ey! *ere’s the issueFand here’s what you thin' about it+

13. 8ot ony do define the issue! but aso attempt to define how the peope at theommunicator )abe thin' about it.

14. )rue! con"ersationa coercion has diminished utiity when there is ess of an emotiona bond or connection! but empoy this approach professionay when someone isn’t buyinginto my pan. ta'e pot shots when can! but without trust present! my co-communicatordoesn’t isten to me.


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1K. -types use "erba intimidation and re-directing. can e(ert pressure and be "erbayintimidating. aso create the urgency to hurry up and decide! because time is wasting.

1L. =iggest drawbac' of being a tough-minded -type can get my way! but it might be atthe e(pense of finding a better way.

1N. restrain #mpathi$ers with my -type ta' tactics. ai rather than iberate. 6hat is theenticement to enter into a con"ersation when you’re tod what to thin'! how to thin' it!when to thin' it! and you ha"e an emotiona connection turn out to be a burden rather than a bessing

I, YOU SEE+ TO *REATE *O--UNI*ATION ,REEDO-

6hat shoud you do if you see' to deepen the bond! create communication freedom! be open and"isibe! and be free to come up with more effecti"e ideas ou must recogni$e that throwing punches of con"ersationa coercion simpy doesn’t wor' to accompish positi"e intent.

)ry this Positi5e Se)f&Ta)> Too)6 :; will practice chanin my habit of dominatin a conversation<which leads to disconnectin and !uashin disareement= ; will practice travelin in a middle >one

instead of always tryin to monopoli>e the dialoue= ; will stop limitin the options of my tal0 partner=

Empathi>ers have a riht to spea0 up< too= ; will approach an emotional topic with a cool?headedopenness for both input and possible outcomes=@

*’m in the right here becauseF+ is a coerci"e ta' techni>ue that is a big ie tod by sma-thin'ing peope.

A!OUT *O--UNI*ATIONS PSY*.OLOGIST DENNIS E0 O#GRADY2 PSY0D0

,ennis ’?rady is a reationship communications coach! corporate trainer and pioneer of theinno"ati"e Ta)> to -e effecti"e communication system! which streamines communication that is producti"e and usefu! inside your head! inside your company! and inside your reationships.

ommunication mista'es and accidents pague us a! but the 5al0 to 8e9 approach to goodcommunication wi hep boost your mood! 'eep your energy up! and free you from the tar baby ofnegati"e reationships or emotions.

https://mindcontrotechni>ues101.wordpress.com/2010/11/04/how-does-passi"e-coercion-wor'-in-mind-contro/

.o8 Does Passi5e *oercion Wor> in -in" *ontro)?

)here are se"era head management tactics which are based on certain actions or anguage patterns.)hese are we-'nown! since they’re straightforward to attempt out. #(ampes of acti"e force tactics are putting anyone in a hypnotic trance! empoying *yes bridges+! pattern interrupts! and so on. t can be

form of *ta'ing a person into something+.

#"en so! there’s one more form of head management approach that might be ust as hepfu withregards to manipuating other men and women: passi"e force.

@assi"e force does not demand you in fact underta'ing a thing 9 reati"ey! it can be about setting up ansetting by way of which your target wi must pass by way of 9 aong with the basic act of passing byway of this setting wi affect his or her habits.

)his may possiby sound reati"ey strange! but it can be in fact a rather pre"aent 'nowedge. n simpefact 9 whene"er you wa' into a huge procuring ma! you 'nowedge it "ery first hand.

https://mindcontroltechniques101.wordpress.com/2010/11/04/how-does-passive-coercion-work-in-mind-control/https://mindcontroltechniques101.wordpress.com/2010/11/04/how-does-passive-coercion-work-in-mind-control/https://mindcontroltechniques101.wordpress.com/2010/11/04/how-does-passive-coercion-work-in-mind-control/https://mindcontroltechniques101.wordpress.com/2010/11/04/how-does-passive-coercion-work-in-mind-control/


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)he art and science of passi"e force is often a muti-biion doar enterprise. )here is not a singemodern day procuring ma inside gobe that has not been intended with a the support of passi"e forcespeciaists. f you wish to 'nowedge passi"e force in an much more sophisticated setting! pay a "isit toa Eas egas casino.

)he cause why passi"e force is so hepfu is party since it can be in"isibe 9 we aren’t informed thatthis distinct setting is >uite specificay intended to create us carry out seected actions! assume seected

thoughts.

@rocuring mas 9 too as casinos 9 ha"e sur"eiance cameras e"erywhere. ur usua understanding isthat this is basicay for security purposes 9 but these suppies are carefuy and meticuousy anay$ed by e(tremey speciai$ed psychoogists whose aim woud be to greater fuy grasp! and ater consumerconduct. )hey do this with a the support of scent! sounds and ight. )hey de"eop an architecture thatinfuences you to de"ote far more time 9 and doars 9 inside procuring ma. #"en the fooring isintended to de"eop the wished for impact 9 not ust the coors! but aso the softness or hardness of your foor has a subte! but nonetheess >uite measurabe impact on our conduct.

8aturay! when you wish to affect anyone to compete a thing! it is possibe to not de"ote hundreds ofthousands of doar de"eoping an coerci"e setting 9 but becoming informed of your simpe fact that the

setting can either enhance or reduce the effecti"eness of one’s persuasi"e attempts is worthwhieinformation in and of itsef. ince it is possibe to thus decide on to meet in an setting that may increaseyour persuasi"e position.

https://heaingfromcompe(traumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2014/0T/21/gasighting-as-a-manipuation-tactic-what-is-it-who-does-it-and-why-dr-george-simon-phd/

Gas)ighting As A -ani1u)ation Tactic % What isit2 8ho "oes it an" 8hy? Dr George Sion PhD0eptember 21! 2014 by eaing 7rom ompe( )rauma C @),/@), Eea"e a comment

Gas)ighting as a -ani1u)ation Tactic6 What It

Is2 Who Does It2 An" Why=y ,r ?eorge imon! @h, J S 8o"ember 2011

?asighting is a sophisticated manipuation tactic which certain types of personaities use to createdoubt in the minds of others. ere’s how it wor's and what to watch out for.n a stage pay and suspense thrier from the 1T30s entited *?as Eight!+ a conni"ing husband tries toma'e the wife he wishes to get rid of thin' she is osing her mind by ma'ing subte changes in heren"ironment! incuding sowy and steadiy dimming the fame on a gas amp. n recent years! the term*gasighting+ has come to be appied to attempts by certain 'inds of personaities! especiay psychopaths U who are among the personaities most adept at sophisticated tactics of manipuation U

https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2014/09/21/gaslighting-as-a-manipulation-tactic-what-is-it-who-does-it-and-why-dr-george-simon-phd/https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2014/09/21/gaslighting-as-a-manipulation-tactic-what-is-it-who-does-it-and-why-dr-george-simon-phd/https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2014/09/21/gaslighting-as-a-manipulation-tactic-what-is-it-who-does-it-and-why-dr-george-simon-phd/https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/author/healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd/https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2014/09/21/gaslighting-as-a-manipulation-tactic-what-is-it-who-does-it-and-why-dr-george-simon-phd/#respondhttps://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2014/09/21/gaslighting-as-a-manipulation-tactic-what-is-it-who-does-it-and-why-dr-george-simon-phd/https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2014/09/21/gaslighting-as-a-manipulation-tactic-what-is-it-who-does-it-and-why-dr-george-simon-phd/https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2014/09/21/gaslighting-as-a-manipulation-tactic-what-is-it-who-does-it-and-why-dr-george-simon-phd/https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/author/healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd/https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2014/09/21/gaslighting-as-a-manipulation-tactic-what-is-it-who-does-it-and-why-dr-george-simon-phd/#respond


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to create so much doubt in the minds of their targets of e(poitation that the "ictim no onger trusts their own udgment about things and buys into the assertions of the manipuator! thus coming under their power and contro.

#ffecti"e gasighting can be accompished in se"era different ways. ometimes! a person can assertsomething with such an apparent intensity of con"iction that the other person begins to doubt their own perspecti"e. ther times! "igorous and unwa"ering denia couped with a dispay of righteous

indignation can accompish the same tas'. =ringing up historica facts that seem argey accurate butcontain minute! hard-to-pro"e distortions and using them to *pro"e+ the correctness of one’s position isanother method. ?asighting is particuary effecti"e when couped with other tactics such as shamingand guiting. Anything that aids in getting another person to doubt their udgment and bac' down wiwor'.

?asighting is ust one of the many weapons in the arsena of personaities he-bent on ha"ing theirway! e"en if it means doing so by subte and co"ert means of conning others. ne of the mostimportant points ma'e in a my artices! boo's! and other writings about the narcissistic and mostespeciay! the aggressi"e personaities! is that they wi do whate"er it ta'es to secure and maintain a position of ad"antage o"er others. And some of the most effecti"e means at their disposa are tacticsthat concea their mae"oent intent whie simutaneousy prompting their *target+ to accede to theirdesires. outine the most common ones co"erty aggressi"e fo's use to manipuate others in my boo' ;n /heep’s Alothin WAma$on-D J Ama$on-DB X. =ut it woud be "irtuay impossibe to fuy ist a of the "arious tactics e(pert manipuators use.

Deception is often the 'ey ingredient in manipuation. ,eception can be accompished by outrightdenia! distortion of 'ey aspects of e"ents! and a "ariety of other methods! especiay the moresophisticated ying techni>ues. And! as ha"e mentioned in a prior post ;see *Eying: )he Dtimate&anipuation )actic+

instincts about what’s going on. )heir gut tes them they’re under attac' or that someone is trying toget the better of them! and they intuiti"ey go on the defensi"e. =ut because they often can’t find anycear! direct! obecti"e e"idence that the other person is merey trying to disad"antage them! they startdoubting and >uestioning themse"es. )his is the rea secret of effecti"e manipuation. f the *target+were soidy con"inced they were in the process of being done in! they’d more i'ey put up moreresistance instead of capituating. &anipuators 'now this. )hey win by getting the other person to bac' down or gi"e in.

?asighting has come to some prominence atey because se"era authors ha"e highighted it as one ofthe more crafty tactics psychopaths use to disad"antage their "ictims. =ut many character-disturbedindi"iduas! most especiay the aggressi"e personaities! are prone to using numerous tactics! incudingco"ert techni>ues! to get the better of their targets. )heir goa is aways to win or secure whate"er it is

they want. And they’ do whate"er they ha"e to do to get it. ometimes the most effecti"e way to dothat is to a"oid red-fagging their intentions but rather get the other person to unwittingy but"ountariy surrender. nsti shame! insti guit! insti fear! or insti great doubt! and the other personwi i'ey bac' off the stance they reay wanted to ta'e.

ha"e written a series of artices on the manipuation tactics of co"erty-aggressi"e and other disturbed personaities ;see my eries on &anipuation )actics


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Author6 .ea)ing ,ro *o1)e$ Traua @ PTSD7*PTSD am a sur"i"or of compe( and mutipe trauma and abuse! who at the age of 40! began my heaing ourney. am using my ourney to reco"ery and heaing! to hep others! to hep sur"i"ors fee ess aone!"aidated! encouraged and to enabe others to understand themse"es more. ompe( trauma! particuary from se"ere! proonged chidhood abuse! is profoundy ife changing. ompe( trauma produces compe( aduts. )he ourney to reco"ery is a painfu! often oney! emotiona daiy chaenge

and it is my aim to encourage others in their daiy batte. 6ith my strengthening reationship with ?od!my wonderfu husband! my highy e(perienced therapy team and my friends! am on my ourney toreco"ery! after decades of abuse. am truy bessed.

Gas)ighting Re5isite"6 A *)oser Loo> at This

-ani1u)ation Tactic=y ,r ?eorge imon! @h, J 2K &arch 2014 1L omments http://counseingresource.com/features/2014/03/2K/gasighting-re"isited-a-coser-oo'-at-this-manipuation-tactic/

A(out the Author,r ?eorge imon recei"ed his @h, in cinica psychoogy from )e(as )ech Dni"ersity and hasspeciai$ed in disturbances of personaity and character for amost 2K years. e has appeared on se"eranationa radio and ) programs! incuding 7o( 8ews 8etwor' and 88! gi"en o"er 2K0 wor'shopsand seminars nationwide! and consuted to numerous businesses! agencies! and organi$ations see'ing

his e(pertise on character disturbance. is webcast caed Pharacter &attersP aunched recenty onD.t".

f you’re on the recei"ing end of co"ert aggression! you might sense in your gut some 'ind of"ictimi$ation at pay but be unabe point to anything that ceary and obecti"ey bac's up your hunch.)his *dirty fighting+ may ea"e you feeing more than a itte cra$y.

A few years ago wrote about the emotiona manipuation tactic referred to by many as *gasighting+;*?asighting as a &anipuation )actic: 6hat t s! 6ho ,oes t! And 6hy+ue as their preferred weapon of domination and contro. o thin'it’s worth ta'ing a more in-depth oo' at the "arious subte ways manipuati"e characters usegasighting to maintain a position of ad"antage o"er others.

&ost manipuation is accompished through what ha"e aways abeed *co"ert-aggression.+ ;&oreinformation on co"ert and the many other common forms of human aggression can be found in theintroduction chapter of my boo' ;n /heep’s Alothin WAma$on-D J Ama$on-DB X.< *,irty+ fighterstypicay try to get the better of others by using tactics that effecti"ey concea ob"ious aggressi"eintent on their part whie sti successfuy throwing their opponent on the defensi"e. )he person on therecei"ing end of this 'ind of beha"ior senses in their gut that there’s some 'ind of "ictimi$ation at pay

https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/author/healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd/http://counsellingresource.com/features/2014/03/25/gaslighting-revisited-a-closer-look-at-this-manipulation-tactic/#commentshttp://counsellingresource.com/features/2014/03/25/gaslighting-revisited-a-closer-look-at-this-manipulation-tactic/http://counsellingresource.com/features/2014/03/25/gaslighting-revisited-a-closer-look-at-this-manipulation-tactic/http://counsellingresource.com/features/2011/11/08/gaslighting/http://crjump.com/direct/jump.php?ref=shushttp://crjump.com/direct/jump.php?ref=shukhttp://crjump.com/direct/jump.php?ref=shukhttps://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/author/healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd/http://counsellingresource.com/features/2014/03/25/gaslighting-revisited-a-closer-look-at-this-manipulation-tactic/#commentshttp://counsellingresource.com/features/2014/03/25/gaslighting-revisited-a-closer-look-at-this-manipulation-tactic/http://counsellingresource.com/features/2014/03/25/gaslighting-revisited-a-closer-look-at-this-manipulation-tactic/http://counsellingresource.com/features/2011/11/08/gaslighting/http://crjump.com/direct/jump.php?ref=shushttp://crjump.com/direct/jump.php?ref=shuk


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but can’t point to anything that ceary and obecti"ey bac's up their hunch. As a resut! they end upfeeing more than a itte cra$y. )hey might harbor feeings of anger toward the person they sense is anaggressor but aso find themse"es thrown into positions of an(ious defensi"eness! which ma'es themfee unustified and unsure of themse"es. f their manipuator aso happens to be s'ied in the art of*impression management+ U dispaying superficia charm and enoying the capacity to ma'e fa"orabeimpressions on others U those on the recei"ing end of their tactics are i'ey to fee e"en cra$ier. )hey

might say to themse"es: *’"e aways thought there was something wrong with them but perhaps therereay is something wrong with me. After a! e"eryone ese seems to i'e them.+ o! in a sense! amosta manipuati"e beha"ior produces a gasighting effect to some degree.

,eiberatey trying to ma'e someone fee cra$y! wrong! stupid! paranoid! etc. as a way of decei"ing!degrading! ta'ing ad"antage of! dominating! or controing others is what gasighting as a specificmanipuation tactic is a about. t’s not an uncommon tactic. haracter disturbed persons who cheat ontheir spouses but want to maintain contro in their reationships are particuary fond of this tactic. )heyuse it to in"ite their partners to "iew what might be some "ery ustifiabe mistrust on their part as pure*paranoia.+ undreds of indi"iduas ha"e pro"ided me e(ampes of this! and ’"e aso witnessed it firsthand on many occasion. 6hie getting the "ictim of gasighting to fee paranoid is bad enough! manytimes the manipuator aso has the mo(ie to coupe the gasighting with other tactics such as shaming!

guiting! and feigning innocence/ignorance. ;7or more information on these tactics! see *&anipuation"ia haming and ?uit-)ripping: Dsing the onscience of the 8eurotic against )hem+ as we as myartice series on manipuation tactics.< n the end! the person on the recei"ing end of this beha"iorwinds up feeing not ony i'e they might indeed be out of their mind but aso i'e they’re the worst person on earth for daring to thin' the 'inds of things they had been suspecting about their manipuator.

mentioned in my 2011 artice that sometimes ust the apparent certainty and con"iction a co"ert-aggressor dispays when engaging in their deceitfu beha"ior can produce the gasighting effect andguarantee the success of their manipuation. 6hen they’re confronted! they don’t ust deny! deny! deny U they deny adamantly. uch a tactic can be e"en more effecti"e if they coupe it with other tacticsi'e feigning righteous indignation U when the manipuator acts as though they are ustifiaby offendedthat their "ictim woud e"en suspect them of some dastardy beha"ior or intention and thereby

besmirch their character. )he script is simpe: when you get confronted on something you 'now wie(pose you for the unsa"ory character you are! act offended and hurt! appear resoute! and >uestion thesanity of your accuser. )he script is not ony simpe! it’s aso generay effecti"e.

?asighting doesn’t aways wor'% there are some personaities who! because of certain aspects of theirown character! seem reati"ey immune to the techni>ue. =ut when a manipuator senses that thegasighting techni>ue is indeed ha"ing some effect! there are some additiona things they can do toenhance the effect. )hey can go on a rea charm offensi"e to ma'e the gasighted "ictim fee e"en moreisoated and aone with respect to the feeings and attitudes they harbor toward their abuser. )hey canaso engage in a reaity and history restructuring campaign! subty coaching reati"es and friends toremember things as happening the way they want them to be remembered and then pointing out to the

person being gasighted that they are the ony person who remembers things a different way. )hey’curry fa"or and form aiances to ma'e the target of the gasighting fee e"en more isoated. ome professionas ha"e offered "arious terms for this 'ind of beha"ior! incuding a currenty popuar abe:*street theater.+ )he effect of a these beha"iors is aways the same: ma'e the other person beie"e theyha"e no egitimate reason to thin' what they sense in their heart to be true or to fee the way they fee!and you ha"e them firmy under your infuence and contro.

@erhaps the biggest reason thought it necessary to re-"isit the topic of gasighting is because of howdifficut it generay is for "ictims of this e(treme form of manipuation! which is often perpetrated bythe more seriousy disordered characters! to reco"er fuy from their ordeas. After >uestioning their

http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/02/24/shame-guilt-neurotic-manipulation/http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/02/24/shame-guilt-neurotic-manipulation/http://counsellingresource.com/features/tag/series-on-manipulation-tactics/http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/02/24/shame-guilt-neurotic-manipulation/http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/02/24/shame-guilt-neurotic-manipulation/http://counsellingresource.com/features/tag/series-on-manipulation-tactics/


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perceptions! udgments! feeings! and e"en their sanity for so ong in their reationship with theirabusi"e manipuator! it’s often >uite difficut for them to restore a baanced sense of sef. ady! notony ha"e many "ictims written me to share this "ery 'ind of e(perience but aso many reported beingstymied in their rehabiitation when see'ing hep from a professiona not famiiar enough with suchse"ere forms of emotiona abuse and the traumatic impact it can ha"e on a person’s psyche.

ictims of proonged or intense gasighting often need speciai$ed hep. )hey don’t ust want

reassurance they were ne"er as *cra$y+ or wrong-headed about things as their manipuator made themout to be. 6hat they want more than anything is a more obecti"e! reiabe way to fairy udge boththeir own character and the character of those with whom they might again forge a reationship. ;)hat’sa maor reason wrote Aharacter Disturbance WAma$on-D J Ama$on-DB X.< )hey aso want to trustagain! and to 'now when and how to trust. 6hie trust is an important issue for a of us when it comesto our intimate reationships! for the "ictim of e(treme forms of manipuation! especiay gasighting!simpy reco"ering the ability to trust again is a pi"ota e"ent.

https://heaingfromcompe(traumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2013/12/2T/abusers-iars-narcissists-wi-a-

want-their-"ictims-to-'eep->uiet/

A(users2 )iars2 narcissists2 8i)) a)) 8ant their

5ictis to >ee1 uietB00,ecember 2T! 2013 by eaing 7rom ompe( )rauma C @),/@), 20 omments

f course they do 9 they don’t want the truth about them e(posed.

)his wi appy to a forms of abusers 9 menta! se(ua! physica! psychoogica! "erba! spiritua andwhether to aduts! or chidren.

)hey 'now what they are doing is wrong.

f they hide their beha"iour! or try to sience you! they , 'now what they are doing is wrong.

)he abuse was sti a choice! they decided to ma'e.

)hey wi manipuate this Qsience’ in a "ariety of ways%

)hreats to the "ictim.

haming the "ictim.

Eies about the "ictim. ncuding ying by omission! ying by faiing to te the truth to others whowrongy beie"e/assume something about the "ictim.

?asighting 9 ma'ing the "ictim not beie"e their own truth! confusing them.

=aming the "ictim.

#motiona abuse 9 eg saying the famiy wi suffer.

A smear campaign about the "ictim! ma'ing more peope ;apaths

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aying the "ictim is cra$y

,eiberatey targeting a "ictim! who others are uni'ey to beie"e.

Aienation! from famiy! group! church etc.

&a'ing the "ictim fee sorry for the abuser.

&inimi$ing! the abuse they made the "ictim endure.

)here are more. )his is not an e(hausti"e ist.

8one of these mean 9 that the abuser is right.

8one of these mean 9 the "ictim needs to stay >uiet.

8one of these mean 9 the "ictim is to bame! or guity.

8one of these mean 9 the "ictim needs to do what the abuser wants.

8one of these mean 9 the "ictim! has to fee sorry for the abuser.

t is a a manipuation! for the benefit of the abuser.=ecause the Qabuser’ is the wea'! shamefu! guity! wrong! abusi"e person! who ac's the courage! orcapacity! to own who they reay are.

t ta'es time! to wor' this out and process it.

=ut! it is needed! as part of heaing.

;;;;;;;;;;;;hugs

Parentification:

)he narcissistic parent! incapabe of meeting a chids needs because they confict with their own! becomes the recipient of the chid’s care and affection. )he npd parent fips the roes and demands thatthe chid be the sacrificia! gi"ing careta'er. f course in hindsight! its easy to see the error in this

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beha"ior! but as a young! impressionabe chid the modeed beha"ior has an impact on the things we’need to unwind and reparent ater in ife.

6hat this does is set us up to be the careta'ers! the responsibe ones! the fi(ers! the gue that hods thenarcissist together. t sets us up to ?# careta'ing o"e to a narcissist! whie not compaining orma'ing much of a fuss about recei"ing nothing in return. =ecause we’re so used to this treatment fromthe narcissist in our younger years! we don’t put up much resistence at a to this treatment as aduts.

Non&E$isting !oun"aries6

8arcissists do 8) possess the abiity to respect boundaries. )hey’re boundary busters. rossing o"ermenta boundaries to te you what’s going on in D5 head or what your moti"ation is! crossing o"er physica boundaries to touch and hug us when we don’t wish to be touched or hugged! ta'ing our property without permission! crossing o"er our emotiona boundaries to argue with what we fee! whywe fee it or if we *shoud+ fee it! when ony we can 'now those things. haring secrets we’"e as'edthem to 'eep! ta'ing about you as if you’re not in the room! reading your diary without permission!ea"esdropping on pri"ate con"ersations! wearing your cothes without as'ing! trianguating and ta'ingto others in the famiy or office about you behind your bac'! a are e(ampes of "ioation of boundariesand is a ist too engthy to document. f you fee e(hausted reading about the many ways narcissists

cross their chidrens’ boundaries! imagine E8? ).hidren of narcissists grow into aduts who are accustomed to ha"ing boundaries busted >uitefre>uenty% so much so! that this fees *famiiar+ / *i'e home+. Adut narcissistic predators oo'ing forthe perfect *"ictim+! senses and spots this ingrained trait and automaticay reai$es that there wi be noconse>uences for e(poiting the target. )hey’ bust o"er our boundaries! without much of a fight andreai$e that they can Qget away’ with their buying and aggressi"e beha"ior.

!ecoing Nee")ess:

6hen faced with hopeessness! human beings wi resign themse"es to a future that resembes the present! same oe same oe! maintenance of the status >uo is e(acty what happens as a chid grows in anarcissistic famiy. )he narcissist ne"er changes! the chid earns that their own needs and desires are

inferior if not competey non e(istent to the narcissists needs and wants. 6hat’s the point if your needsare ne"er tended to o the chid adopts the careta'ing roe of worrying about the narcissists needs! nottheir own. 6e resign ourse"es to sefessness / needessness.

t’s a resut of both the parentification of the chid as we as the sheer inabiity the narcissist has tothin' of anyone other than themse"es. #"en though a narcissist is good to put on a big show to othersabout what a great parent they are! the 'ids are the benefactors of this twisted truth:

NAR*ISSISTS DO NOT *ARE A!OUT T.EIR *.ILDREN

REGARDLESS O, T.EIR SUPERIOR A*TING S+ILLS

6e earn that we don’t matter. t’s not that we aren’t worthy of this attention to our needs or care Cunderstanding! but that’s what our transation is. 6e personai$e it. 6e do thin' it’s because we’reunworthy. t becomes our sef concept. 6e go about gi"ing and o"ing the narcissist! trying to peasethem! or pro"e ourse"es gi"ing / caring enough that the narcissist wi finay find us *worthy+ of somescraps of genuine affection that ne"er come.

)his sets us up to be the perfect adut doormat. 6ith no needs! an adut chid wi fee comfortabewhen partners demand that their needs be paramount in the *reationship+. t teaches us not to e(pectreciprocity. t teaches us that a 100 / 0 reationship is *famiiar+ and *norma+. t’s not norma at a! butwhen you’re used to someone riding rough shod to get a the goodies! you simpy step aside as


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opposed to teing them to cut it out.

A1o)ogiCing for our e$istence6

ts a sad state of affairs that a chid woud fee the need to assert their right to be here or ha"e achidhood dri"e to @5# that we’re worth o"ing! but that’s the reaity of a narcissistic famiydynamic. )he things that narcissists say out of rage for their chidren! in the presence of no witnesses!is beyond appaing. reca ha"ing thoughts in grade schoo about being so than'fu that abortionwasn’t ega in the L0s. t’s not that Kth graders reay care about such ofty matters! its ust that the person depended on and o"ed most! my mother! et me 'now repeatedy that was "ery uc'yabortion wasn’t ega! because woudn’t ha"e been ai"e. 5ecaing this reaity in hindsight! aowsme to fee the remorse and empathy for mysef that deser"ed. 6hat my inner chid went through wasunfathomabe.

6hat these messages! whether o"ert as in my abo"e account! or insidious and co"ert! the message is thesame: 6# &A #Y)! =D) 6# D?) ) 7##E EDB 6# ,.

6hen you constanty fee you’re being treated as an incon"enience or interruption to the perfectysuppy dri"en ife of a narcissist! you earn that the best way to i"e in that regime is to step aside andet the narcissist ha"e the imeight.

8o! a home is 8) a stage in a pay or meodrama for norma peope! but in a narcissistic famiy! themain seat at the tabe! the one who *earns+ our 'eep! the top dog in our i"esF.is the narcissist and 6#AEE B86 ). 6e’re a there to fi our part in their pay. 6e wi beha"e howe"er the narcissist hasdecided our roe wi be and we wi 8) de"iate from that! uness we want to incur the narcissist’srage.

Eet’s stop down for a moment and pay a brief word to *the narcissist’s rage+. &any peope who don’ti"e within the narc home! don’t ha"e a cue that the narcissist has a two faced personaity. )hey see the*'ind+ *gi"ing+ bah bah image the narcissist presents to strangers and can ne"er fathom that the samenarcissist woud be a terroristic tyrant at home.

8arcissistic rage isn’t aways the typica big! oud mouth e"ent. t’s more crue than that. 8arcissisticrage is more subdued and insidious. )hey’d much rather punish peope by 6)E,8? A8,5#7D8? ) ?# what they 'now those peope need from them. A narc parent wi be subtyaggressi"e ;raging< by showing the chid! that they can disconnect emotionay from the chid as if thechid doesn’t e(ist. )hey’ not show up! be on time. or gi"e fu attention to the things that areimportant to the chid. )hey’ disappear emotionay unti the chid begs for attention through actingout or acting up.

6hen chidren who ha"e earned to fee that they don’t want to roc' the boat by *e(isting+ grow up!they wi not >uestion or stand up to beha"iors that cause us to fee unimportant or in"aidated byothers. heating wi be toerated! in"aidation wi be turned a bind eye to! a narcissist’s doubestandard for treatment won’t be >uestioned.

E1athiCing6

ince narcissists don’t possess empathy! how do we e"er get to rea( as chidren and 7##E thatsomeone ese reay cares about the things that we do at times. 6hen we’"e ost a pet! or been teased atschoo! if our parent is incapabe of reay feeing what we fee in response to these e"ents! we aregoing to fee reay disconnected from intimacy. 6hen we are e(cited about that boy or gir that we’"e been crushing on! returns our affections 9 its going to hurt when we can’t get our parent off sociamedia or to stop ta'ing pictures of themse"es ong enough to isten to us fuy.

t hurts to ha"e feeings about our parents beha"ior that we 'now we can’t e"er be heard on. )hat we


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'now deep down! this person! our parent! doesn’t care enough about us to reay hear us is so isoatingand disconnecting. 6e start to reai$e on a deep e"e that! we wi 8E ha"e the narcissists fuattention or care when it is con"enient for them.

Eac' of empathy stri'es at the "ery feeing of being o"ed and cared about that it’s impossibe to feethe o"e of your parent if they are empathy impaired. )he narcissist woud argue that *they reay care+about the peope around them! but those peope 'now that the narcissist ony *cares+ when it behoo"es

them and that! that is not a genuine o"e for them in the east.

)he 'ey to reparenting ourse"es in this area is to recogni$e the disorder for what it is and notinternai$e this inabiity to care/ o"e on the narcissist’s part as being a defect of our own that ma'es us*uno"abe+.

Trou()e 8ith De5e)o1ing our True I"entity6

&uch i'e the narcissist! targets who grew up in a narcissistic regime! don’t get a chance to fuye(pore who we truy are! unti we are no onger under the infuence of the narcissist’s boundary busting methods of *teing us who we are+. 6hat the narcissist tes us we are! is s'ewed anyway. 6e'now that through proection! the narcissist casts off the traits hated in themse"es onto those cosest tothem! so when we’re tod we’re #E7! it’s nothing more than the narcissist accusing us! of what

they are guity of themse"es.

=ut you can see! as a chid! with such impressionabe identities! being tod again and again that you aresomething you’re not! is going to ma'e you beie"e it 9 whether it’s true or not.

As a young chid! was tod repeatedy by my narcissistic mother that was *sefish+. n fact! wastod was sefish so fre>uenty that sometimes wondered if my name wasn’t reay *sefish itte bitch+. 6hat this did to me! was ga"e me the message that sefish was bad! and shoud ne"er be *that'ind of bad+. went on to consider my own sefishness in e"ery interaction with e"eryone had% andsti do. don’t want to hurt others. empathi$e with how hurtfu it is to be sefishy shut out bysomeone’s bindingy grand ego.

didn’t earn the important esson that there is a certain e"e of *sefishness+ that doesn’t hurt anyone!that is a norma part of sef care and isn’t bad at a! fet that it was my *duty+ to ne"er be sefish toothers. )he resut coudn’t say no to others and ne"er >uestioned what that did to mysef. n fact! barey thought of mysef at a and was continuay frustrated that ga"e unsefishy but rarey recei"edthat from others. earned that it was not & G= to ta'e care of mysef but that through unsefishser"ice to others! someday ’d be o"ed.

f you are not aowed to be who you reay are thin' this is the pi"ota identity issue that eithercreates a personaity disordered identity "s a strong! resiient sur"i"ing type of personaity that risesthrough the ashes and thri"es to sur"i"e despite a the abuse.

n my own case! sought outside reationships with neighbors! teachers and cergy who aowed me to be my true identity. &y strength of character pushed me to broaden my *frame of reference circe+ or

my *feedbac' oop+ to encompass those who aso i"ed in reaity. &y abiity to te the truth despite theterribe conse>uences of being shamed and shunned by a narcissist who didn’t want to hear the truth!caused me to be the scapegoat in my famiy 9 my abiity to ca a spade a spade! aowed my trueidentity and authenticity to sur"i"e.

ts my thought that this resiiency trait that e(ists in me! e(ists in a sur"i"ors who ha"e found theirway here to the page! teing our truths about this abuse! wiing to be honest! and accept responsibiityfor the things about ourse"es that payed into this abuse and aow us to ma'e changes that pre"ent thisfrom e"er happening to us again as we as our wiingness to be there for others who are hurting the


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3. 8= 5= J ctober 1T! 2014 at 11:K0 A&

reay wish! person who writes this stuff! that didn’t recogni$e mysef or my famiy at a. :; =ut am the parent of my mother! and ha"e been since was 4 at east. )he weight of thisrecognition is terrifying. At east ha"e baby 'ittens and a great dog to hep out. )hey are

'eeping my heart somewhat whoe unti can safey thin' about this and process it and put it behind me. wonder who wi be when ’m done with the reparenting and genera sef-disco"ery )hat part is 'ind of e(citing ;and reay frea'y if thin' about it too muchui$$es. As damaged as am! can’t afford to further ingrain any of these beiefs so can’t afford to get the >uestions wrongF but do. onstanty.

#"erything is going fine! then get tired because it’s hot and my bood sugar is getting ow andsomething scared me! and something in my brain shorts out and start to ca someone ’"e'nown for years by the wrong name. ne syabe in catch mysef but it’s too ate.

@@ ZDI Zuestion 1: what singe word best describes this situation Answer >uic'y K! 4!

3! 2 9

*,isaster+

Zuestion 2: what are you in ight of this 3! 2 9

*An idiot+

Zuestion 3: what do you do now Zuic' #"eryone’s oo'ing at you and wondering what’swrong with you 2! 1 9

*7aint+

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8o ou’re not that uc'y )ry again

*,issociate+

ongratuations! you’"e made things worse! but you sti ha"e to respond somehow

*tammer i'e an idiot and >uic'y ea"e what was an otherwise fine socia e(perience in acoud of depression and sef-oathing+

Beep going

*6onder what the point is in ha"ing a high Z! taent! and mutipe degrees when than's to -@), from chidhood abuse ust oo' i'e an idiot anyway+F

)hings i'e this happen a the time. don’t ha"e the energy to fight through them a. ,espitemy best efforts sti find mysef surrounded with narcissists% 'eep wondering where the otherT0[\ of the popuation is hiding when ea"e the house and why. )hey’"e eft nothinguntouched ;the narcissistic abusers that is


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doesn’t e"en greet me’. t’s disgusting what they wi do to get attention

13. Aaley J ctober 2S! 2014 at 1:K4 A&

)han' you for creating an informati"e and reatabe page. &y brother and suffered at thehands of a narcissist for many years. ur &ums husband o"ed to ca me a *sefish-pig+. 6e

were *useess! sefish! stupid+. And a ot more. 7or years did e"erything in my power to not bethought of as sefish! to the point were did things did not want to do. &y brother and arenow aduts and understand what Qhe’ is! 6e 'now now that we are norma and he is not.Dnfortunatey chose a narcissist as my partner! probaby because grew up with the abuse andthought it norma. 7ortunatey get it now. And ha"e recenty separated from my partner.=e strong and =e true to yoursef. Eife is too short. recenty ost my &um to cancer! and ourgrie"ing was made that much more difficut because we had to dea with the narcissist ;&umshusband

ha"e read hundreds of artices about i"ing in a 8arcissist famiy but this one is by far the best!the detai of the dynamics is right on point. )han's for sharing

1K. nessa3 J 8o"ember N! 2014 at T:KT @&

ust read this. ow do you undo the 8 indoctrination from famiy and an abusi"e churcho strugge with the sef care/sefishnessF.

1L. 6n4a J 8o"ember 2N! 2014 at 2:12 A&

t has been a great earning e(perience for me to read these artices. At first read them in fearof finding my sef in the ines .. then met a but one boyfriend e"er had in them .. and ast found both my father and my mother in them. Eea"ing me with a sadness about my sef as'ingif there e"er is a true reco"ery to a norma and own sef after such a ong ife ofdysfunctionaity.

started out in adut ife doing e(acty what was done to me! with an interna pain teing wass'i$ofrenic at east! suffering from a se"ere personaity disorder 9 the difference in my actionsand my feeings about it was 2 different persons.

t began "ery sowy to change when got the courage to as' my sef! if my actions were truymine or if ust was on autopiot. mean a my ife ’"e been tod how fee! what mthin'ing! who reay am. And it was e(tremey difficut to find me behind the curtains of what 'now now to be abuse and a dysfunctiona chidhood.

was afraid to get chidren of my own. And in the first 4 years was a terribe mom! had thisconstant fight going on inside my sef between how shoud be doing it! how augth to bedoing it and what was e(pected from me. And on top of that! my mother stepped in as theo"era ruer and protector! because she 'new way better then me! how to be a mother of mychidren.

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)hat was when for the first time truey wo'e up from the ha$e and found it in my sef! whathad aways been there! me. didn’t want her beha"ior passed on to my chidren! wanted to brea' the circe and do what fet was right in my eart! not what had had beaten into myhead. n that process she threathend to comitt me for the sa'e of the chidren.

eft my parents and 7amiy! ha"e no contact with them at a anymore. 10 more years has passed! and when oo' at my chidren! "e succeeded in brea'ing the circe. =oth my girs are

considerate to them se"es and others! asserti"e! strong and caring. owe"er .. aso see traits wish wasn’t there! my strugge in their eary years of ife is showing in them! but ateast we ta'about it and te them! that might ha"e a different "iew on certain )hings! doesn’t mean mright about it.

omething bro'e in me a ong time ago! and doubt it wi e"er be competey 6hoe Again!ea"ing me at days thin'ing! fearing "e mised my sef to beie"e m a good person. ?i"ingother days confirming me! that am a good person strugging with a horrific chidhoode(perience.

f was to narrow ,own my batte in a this to something others can ta'e with them! andmaybe guide them in the batte it wi be this.

grew as me and earned o"e in me! when my ife turned from the fear of becoming mymother! to the whoeheartedy ,esire to become me.

=e strong! you can do it ]3

1N. 6BruitBli J 8o"ember 2T! 2014 at S:14 A&

5ebogged this on A7ruit7iPs =og.

1S. nil0i J ,ecember 1S! 2014 at 10:KS @&

)his hits coser to home than i coud ha"e e"er imagined. ust recenty reai$ed that myQapparent’ cumsiness isn’t cumsiness at a. was mainy raised by my grandmother. t too' meyears too' reai$e she is a narcissist. And i remember e"erytime i had to hep her in the 'itchen!she woud hod up a pastic measurement cup. And she woud aways say. had this cup fortwenty years. And it sur"i"ed a those years without being bro'en. =ut fi"e min. n your handsand you woud brea' it. wasn’t aowed to touch the cup at a because i was so cumsy. 7oryears and p unti now i am terrified of hoding babies because i am afraid i am gonna drop themor fa. ts hard to change it now but that was i'e an epiphany. am not cumsy! but you tried toma'e me cumsy.

• nessa3 J ,ecember 24! 2014 at 12:23 @&

had a grandmother i'e that F.so critica of e"erything. ad an aunt who was a bU9she had a sharp nasty tongue. &ade me so ner"ous being around herF woud trip dropthings so afraid of her and of course she made fun of me a the timeF.ant stand her tothis day

•

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Signs That You#5e !een A(use" (y a Narcissist

30 YOU DOU!T YOURSEL,

,o you recogni$e that you’re doubting yoursef more than you e"er ha"e before

ictims of narcissistic abuse often appear uncertain of themse"es! constanty see'ing carification thatthey ha"en’t made a mista'e or misheard something.

)his reacti"e adaptation to narcissistic abuse is because the narcissist is AE6A finger pointing andshifting bame to D for AEE of the ups C downs both in the reationship A8, in the narcissist’s persona psyche.

=ecause this reationship has 88 #Y)#8) boundaries! you wi find D5#E7 constanty @D)D@8 and 75#, to accept responsibiity for things you didn’t do or say. )his borrowedhumiiation and shame is e(acty what the narcissist intends for the "ictim to ta'e from the narcissist.)heir own unfet core of shame.

0 *ON,USION

Gust refer to the abo"e e(panation of sef doubt and boundary transgression if you want to understandthe 87D8 that is part and parce of narcissistic abuse.

,aiy boundary transgression and criss crossing of responsibiity starts to wear on e"en the cearestminded of targets.uddeny you wa'e up and reai$e that a the reaities and borders between yoursef and others is notony =ED55#, but &8?.

t’s confusing to B86 that you aren’t responsibe for someone ese’s beha"ior! thin'ing and feeing but to be 8)A8)E E,#, for beha"ing! thin'ing and feeing as if you A5#.

t’s cra$y-ma'ing and a narcissist purposefuy causes this confusion. )hey 'now that a di"ided andcon>uered mind is their most "unerabe and susceptibe target who won’t be abe to identify that theirconfusion is caused by an abusi"e techni>ue caed Qgasighting’.

?asighting is a techni>ue of psychoogica abuse used by narcissists to insti confusion and an(iety intheir target to the point where they no onger trust their own memory! perception or udgment. 6ithgas ighting! the target initiay notices that something happens that is odd! but they don’t beie"e it.)he target attempts to fight the manipuation! but are confused further by being caed names or todthat they’re: QGust )oo sensiti"e’! Qra$y’! Qmagining things’ or the narcissist fat out ,#8# e"ersaying anything hurtfu. ?raduay! the target earns not to trust their own perceptions and beginsdoubting themse"es. =ro'en and unabe to trust themse"es! they isoate further. )he target now doubtse"erything about themse"es: their thoughts and opinions! their ideas and ideas. )hey becomedependent on the narcissist for their reaity.

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7or it is in your 87D8 and acceptance of responsibiity that beongs to the narcissist! that anarcissist is abe to successfuy 8)5E D and D# D as a scapegoat for their probems.

0 ,EELING *RAFY

#"ery minute of e"ery hour of e"ery day of e"ery year! a 8arcissist! who has a ,& cassifiabe personaity ,5,#5 ;ie: not paying with a fu dec'< is @5G#)8? their disorder onto thosearound them. f you don’t thin' that ha"ing a cra$y person constanty baming you for being *cra$y+wi ma'e you cra$y! ’d i'e to introduce you to a narcissist that wi con"ince you otherwise.

)his disorder isn’t a reationship gone wrong. )his disorder isn’t 'id stuff. t’s &AE#E#8). t’s atransference of mae"oence and )AE ,5,#5 from the person who has it to the person who,#8’).

7ran'y! before a narcissist! ’"e not once in my ife! 7#E) 5AI. 8either ha"e e"er been tod by a psychoogist

and ’"e seen ots of them 9 that had anything 658? with & own )AE #AE). @ersonay! aways had

it *together+. was resiient! mentay tough! and withstood many e"ents in my ife that woud ma'e others crumbe.

et! when unwittingy dated someone with this serious menta heath maady! wanted to sam anentire set of bro'en porceain down his throat sideways and e"ery obtuse moron that beie"es thegarbage that comes out of his mouth. 8o! it’s not that suddeny became a person interested in physica"ioence! suddeny became a person who was witnessing a ,& category a wrapped up into a physica being 9 who turned his menta heath probems 8 &e. became a target of a person with a probem. )hey say! *urt peope! D5) peope+. say! *8arcissistic @eope ,#)5 @#@E#+.

90 E-ERGING *LUSTER O, SY-PTO-S

T.AT .A=E NO OT.ER EPLANATION

A coud muster to the narcissist in my dear ohn etter when bro'e up with him that wonderfu 8ewear’s #"e! was * ,8) B86 what’s 658? =ut ust don’t fee i'e mysef. omething fees#Y)5#E )Y and don’t 'now why+F..)his shoud be the aert when a "ictim of narcissisticabuse presents themse"es to therapists. )he ine(picabe *compaint+.

&y first "isit to my therapist were those words e(acty. * don’t 'now what’s wrong with me! but t’s

#5D+ fet it. did 9 fet =#6E,#5#, inside! but coud not articuate what it was. ;another

red fag for someone usuay abe to articuate e"ery feeing and e(panation about mysef in-

depthuite we! coud

8) for the ife of me e(pain to my therapist what was so *wrong+ with me that it was papabe. is answer! set me

free! it reay did.


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HYOU .A=E !EEN IN A DO-ESTI*ALLY =IOLENT

RELATIONS.IP WIT. A NAR*ISSIST H

&y therapist had some bac'ground with this person. e’d 6)8##, the narcissist caing me! berating me during sessions. hed the phone away during one session! so that my therapist coud hearthe narcissist on the other end >uestioning me about cheating! *Accusing me of ha"ing an affair with

the therapist+. ?riing me about what the therapist oo'ed i'e and woud spea' to me i'e. e e"enaccused the therapist of wanting me se(uay and that was the reason the therapist spo'e so owy of thenarcissist. ;of course it coudn’t ust be that the narcissist had a bad reputation and the community wason to him<

ufferers report that their spar' has gone out and! e"en years ater! find they ust cannot get moti"atedabout anything.

Dnaware that we’"e been i"ing in a war $one with a tyrannica narcissist! we can’t >uite grasp thewords to articuate the abuse! yet at the same time! we #5 &D 7##E ). 6e present ourse"es tothe menta heath community! incapabe of spea'ing about an abuse we yet 'now nothing about. Dntithat word! *NAR*ISSISTI* A!USE+ is gi"en to us! we ha"e 8 ,#A that is what’s causing our

pain. )hat’s why it’s &@5)A8) to get the word out there! what narcissists oo' i'e! their modusoperandi! the words and phrases they use! so that when a "ictim of their abuse begins oo'ing foranswers! they >uic'y wi be abe to identify that they are in"o"ed with a narcissist.

n 8arcissistic ictim yndrome you are oo'ing for a custer of symptoms to emerge many are thesymptoms of trauma ;a"oidance! oss of interest! feeing detached! sense of a imited future! seeping or eating difficuties and nightmares! irritabiity! hyper-"igiance! easiy started! fashbac's! hopeessness! psychosomatic inesses! sef-harming! thoughts of suicide etc


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J0 PTSDEet’s face it. f didn’t mention @),! or ompe( @),! woud 8) be doing the topic ofnarcissistic abuse syndrome A8 ustice.

@tsd! in ayman’s terms 7rom a feow sufferer A erebra an(iety attac' that ma'es your whoe bodycome ai"e with @AE@A=E# 7#A5. )he rapid heart beat! the intrusi"e and spinning thoughts and fears 9 ust i'e the abuse is D55#8)E A@@#88? #ZD#8)AEE AEE #5 A?A8. )his iscaed 5#-E8?. t’s as if the traumatic abuse e"ent is occurring in the present tense. A theemotions of fear! shame! shrin'ing! wincing! oo'ing o"er your shouder C wa'ing on eggsheswaiting to be attac'ed ruthes

why are narcissists are so dangerous-all

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