17 Unit

Society

Here is a typical norm which has been deeply embedded in our society. South Korean society was and has always been dominated by the male sex. As a rule for dating or going out in public, a man should always pay. Many have had difficulty in explaining the origin of this norm. To be realistic, most men view the idea as an act of chivalry and feel embarrassed if they don’t pay. Various viewpoints have even started to arise about the topic. So, who should be the one to pull out the wallet on dates? Since society has progressed in balancing the gender scales, many men are apprehensive about not having enough money. Social experts say young men are feeling the pressure when it comes to dating since money and financial status have turned into an influential factor.

A normal assumption is that only a rich man has the luxury of satisfying the needs of a pretty and established woman. Yet, women are becoming more receptive to pay for the dinner dates and such. Since women are able to work and earn income, to depend on men financially during a date has been unnecessary. In all fairness, as some comedians/singers joke about the social norm, they often exaggerate to evoke humor. Yet, there is still some truth to their acts. As half of the labor population is women, paying to love someone seems unreasonable, doesn’t it? This isn’t to say that some women don’t want their partner to pick up the tab; it can be awkward for a person on a date to split the check right down the middle. This is when tradition rules and it’s a man’s responsibility to pull out the wallet.

088 / A d v a n c e d c o u r s e

01

Intro

{ 과거에는 남자가 데이트 비용을 부담하는 것을 당연한 것으로 여겼으나, 시대가 변하면서 인식이 달라지고 있다.

여성의 경제활동이 활발해지면서 남성에게 의존할 필요성이 점차 없어지고 있기 때문이다. 그렇지만 한국에서

남녀가 비용을 반반씩 부담하는 것도 아직은 어색하다. 무엇이 현명한 방법일까?

* pick up the tab : ‘계산을 하다’라는 의미로 미국인들이 가장 즐겨 쓰는 표현이다. tab 대신에 check이나 bill을 사용해도 무관하지만,

tab이 훨씬 더 자연스럽다.

Vocabulary in the Article

Article Read the article below to better understand today’s topic, which allows you to appropriately answer the questions your tutor is asking. If you are unable to read the complete article in advance, you may want to refer to the summary written in Korean instead.

Who Pays for Your Date?

089 U n i t 1 7 W h o P a y s f o r Y o u r D a t e ? /

Key Expressions The below are some useful expressions from the article. Some are easy but some are tricky.

Whether it’s easy or not, please make sure that you freely use them in any way you want.

Reading aloud the sample sentences using the MP3 files can be a big help in mastering them.

embedded in ~에 박힌, 내재된

It’s embedded in my brain to turn off my alarm on the weekend.

realistic 현실적인

Let’s be realistic; we can’t make that trip in two hours.

apprehensive about ~에 대해 불안한

I was a little apprehensive about driving an hour to the concert.

have the luxury of ~하는 호사를 누리다

For the first time in three years, they actually had the luxury of a whole day together.

in all fairness 공평히 말하자면

In all fairness, I think we should listen to what he has to say.

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1-2 Who usually pays for the things you and your date eat and do together?

I mostly do. But fortunately, my ex-girlfriends usually had a job, so they often chipped in. I didn’t ask them to, of course.

Model Answer

17 W h o P a y s f o r Y o u r D a t e ? Unit

090 / A d v a n c e d c o u r s e

Short Questions

02 Practice Talk about today's topic with your tutor based on the different types of questions below. Make sure to look over the questions before class and think about your own answer. You may refer to the model answers. (In a 10 minute class, you will only talk about the first questions from each section.)

1-1 Do/Did you enjoy going on dinner dates?

I find the question a little odd. It’s a date! You should enjoy it. If not, why do you go out with him/her in the first place?

Model Answer

Talk about Your Experiences

2-1 How many times have you had to pay for the meal?

More often than not. And I didn’t really care because I was paying for somebody I like very much, but a little bit of contribution was always welcome.

Model Answer

2-2 Have you ever been unable to pay for a date?

Yes, sometimes. But every time I was unable to pay, it was just an accident. Either I lost my wallet or I forgot to bring it with me. I never did it on purpose. And I always paid for my bit later on.

Model Answer

091 U n i t 1 7 W h o P a y s f o r Y o u r D a t e ? /

Giving Specific Information

3-1 Which do you prefer: the movies or a restaurant for a date?

A restaurant, but I think doing both would be best and that’s what people usually do. They meet up and go watch a movie and have dinner together at a restaurant or something. Movies are okay, but you don’t get to talk much, no eye contact whatsoever. It can be a boring date if you only have to go to the movies without doing anything else together.

Model Answer

Pros & Cons Questions

4-1 Do you agree that diverse views are growing on the subject?

Yes. There have been quite a lot of TV shows dealing with this subject. But still, I think the prevailing idea in this country is that men should pay. I don’t mind paying for my date, but isn’t it strange to form an opinion that somebody should pay and somebody shouldn’t? I find it rather unfair. Some women even boldly claim that it’s sort of their right to let men pay and men can show their financial prowess that way. Why shouldn’t women show men some prowess then? Doesn’t it prick their conscience when they’re so calculating when the other side is so giving?

Model Answer

4-2 Do you agree that things are changing in society?

No, not yet, but I hope it will. I don’t think it’s a question of money. It’s more of a question of fairness. Why does the guy have to hear that he’s a cheapskate for not paying or paying less when the lady makes more money than him? There’s no respect at all. If women try to be so calculating, men can do the calculation, too. It’s not a small amount of money, you know, if you watch a movie together, go to a restaurant, eat some ice cream, do some shopping and all that stuff. And it’s not like once a month. Not every guy makes a million a day. But, the women are only looking at this as a money issue. Things won’t change for a while unless they go all the way to find out that this is a matter of mutual respect.

Model Answer

3-2 Do you think the bill should be split on a date? If so, why?

Yes, I do. It must sound strange because I said I’m the one who usually pays, but to be honest, it should be both to pay. It is more so if you’ve got a job and earn money. You could pay less sometimes because we don’t hit the calculator buttons at the counter to determine who pays how much. But mooching off your date is not something that a respectable wage-earner should do.

Model Answer

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