Ed and Bette Hageman of San Rafael still talk about each other as if they were hon-eymooners, yet they celebrated their 71st

wedding anniversary on January 12. Ed, 96, says, “It certainly doesn’t seem that long; we’re still very much in love. I am fasci-nated by Bette and adore her.” Bette, 90, says Ed’s proposal “seems like yes-terday,” and adds, “I think we’ve stayed together because of good communications – even during diffi cult times – and mutual respect. And of

course that love issue is always there. I think Ed’s fantastic, still working at that age.” Ed is an architect who still goes to the offi ce Tuesday through Fri-day each week.

They are a model couple for the Whistlestop Express’s February Theme: Long-Term Rela-tionships. They met in 1940, shortly after Bette, fresh out of school, took a job at the offi ce of builder Henry Doelger in San Francisco, where Ed worked. Doelger was America’s largest home-builder in the 1930s. Bette said that one day Doelger asked Ed, “Have you checked out the brunette at the reception desk?” Ed said he had

and a couple of days later he stopped by Bette’s desk. He said that he thought they lived in the same neighborhood, and asked if he could drop her off after work. She said yes. “Actually, I lived in the Marina and he lived in the Richmond District,” Bette said. About six months later Ed proposed, Bette accepted and they were married a few months later. Two months after the wedding, Ed, realizing he was about to be drafted, enlisted in the US Army Air Corps. He was separated from his new bride, now pregnant, for only a few months because the doc-tors discovered that Ed had stomach ulcers. They both say that their mutual good sense of humor has had a lot to do with their long romance. They have two children, Susan Nelsen and Richard Hageman, two grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. ✦

E PRESSThe Leading Information Resource for Marin's Active Aging MovementFEBRUARY 2012 Whistlestop.org

Whistlestop

Readers Invitedto Give Feedbackpage 6

Birds Sideof Marinpage 11

Best of Marinfor Older Adultspage 15

‘I am fascinated by Bette and I adore her.’

Ed and Bette Hageman.

After 71 Years of Marriage,They Still Seem Like HoneymoonersB y J O H N B O W M A N

Whistlestop Express FEBRUARY 20122

Whistlestop PERSPECTIVE by JOHN & VAL BOWMAN

Table ofCONTENTS

Welcome Lori Peterson

From Rocky's PantryRocky Packard

Employees of the Month

Reader Survey

Friendship Full of Adventure

Whistlestop Classes

Activities Calendar

The Bird's Side of MarinRichard Pavek

Board Member Column–Jane Lott

Grand MomAudrey Mettel Fixmer

Best of Marin Ballot

34

567

8/91011

1314

15

Marin Senior Coordinating Council, Inc.930 Tamalpais Avenue San Rafael, CA 94901Chief Executive Offi cer, Joe O’HehirBoard of DirectorsPresident, Dennis ThompsonVice President, Terry ScusselTreasurer, Michael RiceSecretary, Michael HingsonKaren Arnold • Eleanor Delaney • Claudia FrommJane Lott • Debbie Mills • Lori Peterson • Bill SaulBob Sonnenberg • Jeff StofferWhistlestop Express is a publication of the MarinSenior Coordinating Council, Inc. A 501 (c) 3not-for-profi t organizationThe Mission of Whistlestop:To promote the independence and well-being of Marin County’s older adults and individuals with disabilities to enhance their quality of life.Whistlestop Contact InformationMain Number 415-456-9062Whistlestop Fax 415-456-2858www.whistlestop.orgInformation & Referral Offi ce415-459-6700 • resource@whistlestop.orgWhistlestop Express Editorial, Art Direction & SalesJohn & Val Bowman Editors916-751-9189 • john.bowman58@gmail.comMissy Reynolds Art Directormreynolds@pacifi csun.comAdvertisingLinda Black • 415-485-6700, Ext. 306

Whistlestop Express is printed on recycled paper

To be added to, or taken off, the email list for Whistlestop Express, please call 415-456-9062, ext. 141. Or send an email, with your request, your name and address to INFO@whistlestop.org.

Subscriptions mailed to your home are $10/year.

LIKE US on Facebook

Humor, Kindness Help KeepMarriage Going for 32 Years

Our theme this month is Long-term Relationships. Whistlestop Express

editors, John and Val Bowman, share some of their experiences in maintaining a successful long-term relationship. On February 15th, they will celebrate their 32nd wedding anniversary.

John: When we decided to get married, we agreed that since we had gone through painful divorces, we didn’t want to do that again. Do you remember what you told me when I asked how we were going to make sure that didn’t happen?Val: Yes. We were sitting in a restaurant and I said, “I think things will work out if we just remember to be kind to each other.”J: Right, and I think humor has helped all along the way. It’s a gift that we both have quirky senses of humor.V: Yes, I knew I was going to love you when you wrote me a poem about how worried you were on our fi rst date that I’d open the door, you’d give me a big smile and you’d have a piece of spinach in your teeth.J: Things haven’t always been easy. We have made it through some rough patches. Having eight children be-tween us – six of mine and two of yours – could have been a deal-breaker. When our good friend fi xed us up, she had some reservations about “all those children.”

But the kids get along well. V: And now we have 18 grand-children and seven great-grand-daughters. Another reason I love you is that you don’t expect me to remember everybody’s birthday.J: I think our toughest time came when you went back to school to get your Master’s De-gree. When I look back on that, I realize that I feared I might lose you. You had this whole new community of friends. And my newspaper career had ended about then when I left a com-pany where I simply didn’t fi t. I think I was a bit depressed.V: I’m glad we found some good couples counseling. Judith and William had us start our ses-sions agreeing that our relation-ship was sacred. J: Yes, I am really grateful for them. They had us look into each other’s eyes and remember what brought us together in the beginning.V: Another thing that has helped keep our relationship strong is using Nonviolent Com-munication (NVC), Marshall Rosenberg’s system, also called Compassionate Communication.J: Yes, when we remember to use it, we are able to quickly work through issues that come up because NVC is about en-suring that everyone gets their needs met.V: But most of all, we’ve lasted this long because we always remember to have fun. ✦

whistlestop.org 3

We Can Be Thereto Assist You!

Assessments are Performed by a Qualifi ed R.N.

415-499-1200

Visiting Angels® Can Help Share the CareLori Peterson Joins

Whistlestop Board

Lori Peterson, MA, who re-cently joined Whistlestop’s Board of Directors, has

more than 20 years of experience in the healthcare industry. She is founder of Collaborative Consulting, with a vision to bring individuals and healthcare organiza-tions together to “accelerate change, enhance and expand services, improve quality, and bring new offerings to the market and consumers.” She said she joined the Whistlestop Board because, “I believe Whistlestop’s services are of great value, and the need for these services will only continue to expand under the infl uence of economic uncertainty and demographic demand trends.” Lori lives in Mill Valley and Collaborative Consultants is located in Marin County, but she works with clients all over. Lori received a BS in Exercise Physiology at Kansas State University and her MA in Psychol-ogy at Sonoma State University; she is working toward her MS in Gerontology from the University of Massachusetts. Lori regularly accepts association and industry-oriented speaking opportunities as part of her mission to educate and accelerate change in the healthcare industry. Recent speaking engagements include the facilitation of a small group discussion regarding healthcare reform initiatives, care tran-sition programming, and integration strategies for acute, post-acute, and long-term care. She is on the Board of Healthy Living Home Health. A few of her affi liations include Aging Services of California, California Association of Healthcare Facilities, the Gerontological Society of America and American Society on Aging. ✦

Families with Aging Parents Trust Aging Solutions

Expert Advisors to Families Since 1997

We can help you withChanges in parents’ livesDementia and Alzheimer’sFinancial exploitationMedication and alcohol issuesCoordination of services

www.agingsolutions.com

415.324.5088

To Discover What

All the Talk is About

Call Drake Terrace Today

or Visit Us Online.

“This openness to new ideas has indeed made a

difference to my life.”

Talk On The Block…

415-491-1935 | www.kiscoseniorliving.com275 Los Ranchitos Rd., San Rafael, CA 94903

Lic. # 216801028 VISIT US ONLINE

“I came to Drake Terrace after a stroke and

could have subsided into

sleepy, querulous aging,

but did not. Liza Fronczak

{Drake Terrace Wellness

Director} helped make a

difference!

Stan Winston

– Drake Terrace Resident

Whistlestop Express FEBRUARY 20124

Help Package Meals with Kids Against Hunger

Coming to Whistlestop this spring is a new concept where volunteers of all ages come together to help package h igh-nutri-

ent meals in assembly-line format for local food shelves and children around the world. Kids Against Hunger–Marin will be opening an offi ce at Whistlestop this month, serving Marin and North Bay Area with a new program. The project is based on the idea that people help solve the hunger problem by becoming part of the solu-

tion. It is an easy-to-do, fast-paced fun activity that produces results by creating a special rice-soy cas-serole meal with a cost of only 25 cents per meal. Food will be donated to Food Banks in Marin, Northern California, and emergency use for inter-national disasters. Karen Thompson, who owns Mad Rags Fashions, in Montecito Plaza, is founder and executive d irector. She will be using the proprietary Kids Against Hunger formulated food recipe and man-ual packaging equipment to set up food packing events at Whistlestop. “I couldn’t get the project out of my mind, after watching how a simple assembly line of people carefully measured and fi lled small plas-tic bags with just four vitamin-fortifi ed ingredi-ents.” says Karen, a 30-year Marin resident, and president of the San Rafael Harbor Rotary Club. She discovered the Kids Against Hunger ser-vice project at the annual Rotary International convention in 2010 in New Orleans. She knew then that Marin needed this project, as it would engage people ages 7 to 107 in an activity that makes such a difference. “The most amazing part was watching the volunteers really having fun. In addition to giving their labor, they hap-pily gave a donation that pays for the ingredi-ents they were packaging.” ✦

This is an easy and excellent warm weather salad recipe, but it can also brighten up a winter lunch or dinner. It is great stuffed

into ripe tomatoes or as a fi lling for a very satis-fying sandwich. Shrimp are anything but small in their nutrient density — shrimp is an excellent source of selenium and unusually low-fat, low-calorie protein. Enjoy!

1-1/3 pounds Bay Shrimp 1/2 cup Mayonnaise 1/2 small Red onion, fi nely diced 3 Tbsp Fresh chopped dill Salt and pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients, mix well.Per Serving (excluding unknown items): 358 Calories; 26g Fat (64.5% calories from fat); 31g Protein; 1g Carbohydrate; 0g Dietary Fiber; 240mg Cholesterol; 380mg Sodium. Exchanges: 4 1/2 Lean Meat; 2 Fat. ✦

From Rocky's PANTRYb y R O C K Y P A C K A R D

Jackson Café Bay Shrimp Salad

A typical food assembly line

Medication Reminders / Personal Care Assistance

Errands / Shopping / Meal Preparation

Regularly Supervised Visits and Re-evaluations

Consistent Staffing Over 15 years experience

Part-time / Full-time / Short-term / Long-term

Nationwide background check and drug testing required for all caregivers

Bonded and Insured Long Term Care Insurance accepted

FAMILIES - YOU CHOOSE YOUR CAREGIVER

CALL TODAY & RECEIVE A FREE HOUR OF CARE

www.InYourHomeCareForLife.com

You Select The Caregiver You Feel Comfortable

With and Trust!

Pure Thai Acupressure

45 Camino Alto Suite 202 (2nd Floor) Mill Valley

In-Home Appointments Available upon Request.

Special Senior Discount

15% Off All Services

whistlestop.org 5

Whistlestop Announces 2011 Employees of the Year

What People are Saying about S.T.A.R. Program

The S.T.A.R. Program is sponsored by Marin Transit and operated by Whistlestop, with funding through the Metropolitan Transpor-

tation Commission’s New Freedom Program. A few comments from users: “The Program is a lifesaver and makes me feel more secure in my decision-making. I no longer put off doing things I should do because I’m able to have a trusted person in my life give me a ride. It saves me a lot of time and improves my quality of life. I’m glad the program gives me the ability to reimburse my driver because with her assistance, I can get things done with no stress.” —Stephanie M “I think the program is great. I don’t know what I’d do without it. You’re doing a great job.” —June D “I would highly recommend the volunteer driver program because it’s a great thing. I can’t take cabs because they’re too expensive and the buses wear me out. This makes it easier to get to my appointments in San Francisco with the help of my driver.”

—Curt MTo learn more, call 415-454-0960. ✦

The winners are: Diane Stacey, Cindy Thai, and Ron Kiesel.

Tom MacDonaldReverse Mortgage Consultant 415-295-6700

All loans are subject to approval. Certain conditions and fees apply. Mortgage financing provided by MetLife Home Loans, a division of MetLife Bank, N.A., Equal Housing Lender. © 2011 METLIFE, INC. R0911208257 [exp0912] [All States] [DC] 1112-4547 © 2010

Available from MetLife Bank, N.A., it’s a Home Equity Conversion Mortgage (HECM) that may save the average homeowner age 62 or older thousands of dollars. It significantly reduces your up-front costs as compared to our other HECM reverse mortgages. Contact me to get the facts.

Now, there’s a lower cost HECM reverse mortgage.

www.TheRedwoods.org New Views of The Redwoods

Whistlestop Express FEBRUARY 20126

Readers' SURVEY

W hat are your favorite parts of Whis-tlestop Express? How could we im-prove the publication? We are eager

to get your feedback. Please complete this survey and return it to us one of several ways:

• Return it in the envelope inserted between Pages 8 and 9;

• Mail it in a separate envelope or drop it off at: Whistlestop Active Aging Center930 Tamalpais Ave.San Rafael, CA 94901

• Fax it to us at: 415-456-1008

We would really like to hear from you.Please rank the following, with 5 being the top grade and 1 the lowest, by circling a number:

A. The look and layout of Whistlestop Express5 4 3 2 1

B. Interesting stories and photographs5 4 3 2 1

C. Contains useful information5 4 3 2 1

D. Classes and Activities pages5 4 3 2 1

E. Whistlestop Perspective Column5 4 3 2 1

F. Rocky Packard’s Column and Recipe5 4 3 2 1

G. Richard Pavek’s Bird’s Side of Marin5 4 3 2 1

H. Grand Mom’s Column5 4 3 2 1

I. Financial Nuggets5 4 3 2 1

J. Puzzles5 4 3 2 1

K. Useful Advertisements5 4 3 2 1

Where do you live in Marin County?

Belvdr/Tbrn Mill Valley San Rafael

Corte Madera Novato Sausalito

Fairfax Ross West Marin

Larkspr/Grnbra San Anselmo Uninc. Marin

Please share with us any ideas on how you would improve Whistlestop Express. (New features, etc.)

Name (optional):____________________________

email (optional):____________________________

phone number (optional):_____________________

The Highest Standards of CareA private pay skilled

nursing facility offering the finest in long term care

Located in the beautiful hills of Tiburon

415.435.4554 www.MarinConvalescent.com 800-931-5769

of marin

SPECIALISTS IN GERIATRIC IN-HOME THERAPY AND WELLNESS

Jennifer Holland, PTLicensed Physical Therapist

CA Lic #10957

whistlestop.org 7

Long-term Friendship Full of Adventure

Mary Polizzi and Hella Cordes, good friends since 1972, are regulars at the Jackson Café where they appreciate the

fresh and afforable menu and also can socialize with other people. “We eat at the Jackson Café almost every day,” Mary said. “It’s great food – healthy stuff, and nicely priced. We love it.” They also have taken a variety of classes at Whistlestop. Mary, a retired RN, and Hella fi rst met when Hella took a job as a nursing assistant at the hospital where Mary was working. They decided to be roommates and have lived together off and on ever since. Hella, originally from Germany,

returned there for a while but the two have shared housing for the past 27 years in San Rafael. “We love to travel together,” said Mary, and they now have plenty of time for travel since they are both retired. They

are planning their longest trip ever in the coming year. “We will go in a motor home,” said Mary. “We’ll go cross country to Florida, then go up the coast all the way to Maine. It’ll take about six weeks. We’ll share the driving. I like driving, so I’ll do most of it, but Hella will help.” They have traveled all over, and they often stop along the way to do some fi shing, usually hook-ing trout. “Hella catches the big ones and I get the small ones,” Mary said. Blue Lake and Clear Lake are two of their California favorites. At home, Mary loves to cook so she prepares most of the meals and Hella does the dishwash-ing. There usually is some sports event on the TV and Mary is a devout Oakland Raiders fan. They both also love to garden. Having a good friend to share life's journey makes all the difference ✦

‘We eat at the Jackson Café almost every day.’

HEALTH CARE CONNECTION

415 4572256www.HealthCareConnectionLLC.com

Book Signing February 16

Claudia Carroll has a “publishing coming out book-signing party” scheduled for Thursday, February 16 in Jackson Café,

starting at 2:30 p.m. This is for the new anthol-ogy, “Now, and Then,” with more than 20 writ-ers (two stories each). Claudia teaches a memoir class at Whistlestop. ccgypsy37@yahoo.com.

Whistlestop Express FEBRUARY 20128

Keep Learning at WHISTLESTOPBEGINNING COMPUTERS FOR ADULTS LEVEL IIThursdays, March 1 - April 5 • 10 to NoonFee: $50 for 6 classes | Instructor: Ed EssickPre-registration required: 459-6700 Requirement: have a Windows-based computerThis is a hands-on course for those with basic skills who want more experience in using a Windows computer. This class builds upon the skills learned in Beginning Computers for Adults Level I. You will learn how to: work with the programs and features of Windows, create and save a document with a word processing program, search the Internet using Google and Internet Explorer, save and organize information (such as pictures and documents) on your computer, work with email and attachments, secure your computer from intrusion, and download information and programs from the Internet.

COMPUTER/PICTURE CLASSBeginning: 2nd Friday 2 to 4pmAdvanced: 3rd Friday 2 to 4pmFee: $15 Instructor: Gene DyerRegistration required: 459-6700Call for more information and class descriptions.

DROP-IN COMPUTER LAB Mondays • 10 to Noon & Wednes-days • 10 to 2pmNeed help using a computer? We have volunteer computer tutors available to work with you one-on-one, if needed.

NEED HELP PREPARING YOUR INCOME TAXES?By Appointment • February to AprilLocations: Whistlestop and Margaret Todd Senior Center, NovatoFree: donations appreciatedSchedule an appointment: 456-9062, x128 after January 30.The Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA)

program is available for individuals with basic, uncomplicated tax returns who qualify. Trained volunteers are available to help. Taxpayers are asked to bring a copy of their previous year’s return

and all of the documents reporting income for the 2011 tax year.

~NEW CLASS~ BEGINS FEBRUARY 13 LAMAS QI GONGAncient Chinese Self-Healing ArtMondays • 9:30 to 10:30amFee: $3 | Instructor: Debra Zibitt, Certifi ed SifuLamas Qi Gong cultivates and manipulates one’s inner vital life force by using skill of breath, combined with gentle soft movements, visualizations and intentions. Lamas Qi Gong heals and strengthens the body. Benefi ts to you: On-going development to personal growth, helps to eliminate stress, and reduce anxiety and fear.

HEART ATTACK PRESENTATIONTuesday, February 14, 10 to 11amPresented by Crystal Barajas & Lorraine Bolido, Dominican University

Do you want to know more about heart attacks and the signs and symptoms associated with them? Knowing the signs and symptoms can save your life! Join us at

this informative presentation and learn ways to reduce risk factors and learn what to do if you have a heart attack.

BOOK SIGNING: NOW AND THEN, THE EASY WAY TO WRITE AND SHARE THE STORIES OF YOUR LIFE!Thursday, February 16, 2:30pmReservations: 456-9062Speaker: Claudia Carroll, author and instructorRemembrance Writing 101, The Easy Way to Writeand Share the Stories of Your Life is a guidebook to help you access memories, and encourage you to write the stories you choose to remember. We’ll also do some “quick-writes!” Books will be available for purchase.

LABn & Wednes-

heals On-goto elim

HEARTTuesdPresenDomin

Do y

thto red

d ll f h d

whistlestop.org 9

VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIESContact: Debbie at 456-9062 or programs@whistlestop.org• Jackson Café volunteers, at least one day a week

from 11am to 2:15pm• Front Desk/Center Host(ess)• Board or Card Game Leader• Resource Offi ce, computer experience required

Marin Access Call Center: 454-0902Get Qualifi ed to Ride: 456-9062, x106eligibility@whistlestop.orgCancel a Ride: 457-4630Volunteer Driver Program: 454-0969

Transportation Numbers

VALENTINE’S TEA DANCEFriday February 17 • 5 to 7pmFee: $3 | RSVP: 456-9062Join Whistlestop for music and dancing at our next Tea Dance. If you missed our last dance, you won’t want to miss this one. Snacks and drinks will be provided.

COMING SOON IN MARCHFREE SHREDDING DAY • March 10ST. PATRICK ’S DAY LUNCHEON • March 15

KNOW THE 10 SIGNS: EARLY DETECTION MATTERSThursday, February 23, 10 to NoonPresenters: Alzheimer’s AssociationRegistration required: 456-9062 or 472-4340Some change in memory is normal as we grow, but the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease are more than simple lapses in memory. Memory loss that disrupts daily life is not a typical part of aging. It may be a symptom of Alzheimer’s, a brain disease that causes a slow decline in memory, thinking and reasoning skills. This program will provide information about the 10 warning signs of Alzheimer’s disease and the importance of early detection.

THANK YOU, BREAD & ROSESA special thank you to Bread & Roses for providing live entertainment for our special

luncheons throughout the years. The music groups are extremely talented and the musicians are caring people, who are

volunteering their time. Our reward is watching the older adults walk out from our luncheons with big smiles and a lighter step. The music is healing and uplifting. We appreciate the hard work you do for so many agencies. Thank you for being a part of Whistlestop.

IN-KIND DONATIONS NEEDEDMah Jongg sets, decks of cards, books and yarn. If you have items to donate, please call: 456-9062

COMMISSION ON AGING

Thursday, February 9 • 10:00-12:30 pmWhere: San Rafael Community Center,

618 B St., San RafaelTopic: Issues in Nursing Homes and

Assisted Living FacilitiesNext Meeting: March 8 • 10 am at

Margaret Todd Senior Center, Novato

Your One-Call / One-Click Transportation Resource:

(415) 454-0902 www.MarinAccess.org

Your Marin Transportation Choices

ROSS VALLEY SENIORSThursday, February 2, 11 to NoonLunch: Noon to 12:45pm, reservations, 258-4669Fairfax Woman’s Club, corner of Park Road & School Street, FairfaxTopic: Putting your memories & life on paper: the art of scrapbookingNext Meeting: March 1, 11am

Whistlestop Express FEBRUARY 201210

Whistlestop ACTIVITIES This Month at Whistlestop TIME CLASS MISC. COST 9:00–2:00 PM Chair Massage Open $4/8min.10:00–11:00 AM AM Monday (Discussion) 457-0586 Free 10:00–NOON Computer Lab Open Free 11:00–12:30 PM German Social Group Open Free 11:10–NOON Movement & Music Open Free 2:00–4:00 PM ESL (Jan. 23-May 16, 2012) 457-8811 Free 4:00–5:30 PM Citizenship Class 454-0998 Free

9:15–10:15 AM Whistlesizers (Exercise) Open $2 10:00–2:00 PM Asian Social Group 454-1552 Free 10:45–11:45 AM Cardio Exercise Class Open Free 11:00–2:00 PM Manicurist Appt. Needed Free 1:00–3:00 PM Learn Spanish Open Free 2:00–3:00 PM ESL Vietnamese 454-1552 Free 2:00–3:30 PM English Conversation 454-0998 Free 2:30–3:30 PM Balance Class Open $10

9:15–10:15 AM Whistlesizers (Exercise) Open $2 10:00–NOON PM Knit!!! 457-0586 Free 10:00–2:00 PM Asian Social Group 454-1552 Free 2:00-3:30 PM English Conversation 454-0998 Free 2:00–4:00 PM Remembrance Writing Open $5 3:00–4:00 PM Basic English for 457-0586 Free Spanish Speakers

9:00–10:15 AM Tai Chi Qigong Sugg. Donation $10 9:00–2:00 PM Chair Massage Open $4/8min. 10:00–11:30 AM Chiropractor Open $510:00–11:30 AM Seniors' Circle (Support) Open Free 10:30–NOON Mah Jongg Open Free 10:00–2:00 PM Computer Lab Open Free 10:30–11:45 AM Corazón Latino Open Free 2:00–4:00 PM ESL (Jan. 23-May 16, 2012) 457-8811 Free 3:00–4:00 PM Basic English for 457-0586 Free Spanish Speakers

11:00–1:00 PM WS Knitters 1st Fri. Arts & Crafts Free 1:30–3:30 PM ACASA (Support/Training) Peer Counseling Free 1:30–3:30 PM Practice Spanish (Club) Open Free 2:00–4:00 PM Film Club Feb. 10 & 24 $2 2:00–4:00 PM Arts & Crafts w/Vicky Feb. 3 $3 3:00–4:00 PM Yoga with Kelly 456-9062 $3

MO

ND

AYS

TUES

DAY

STH

URS

DAY

SW

EDNE

SDAY

SFR

IDAY

S

The Caboose, Computer Lab, Board Room and Jackson Café are all located at Whistlestop’s Active Aging Center – 930 Tamalpais Ave., San Rafael.

LUNCH MENU60+ PRICES/ UNDER 60 PRICES

Main Entrée$4.50/$7.25

Sandwiches$4.25/$6.25

Soup du Jour$1.75/$2.25

Hamburger w/Fries$4.25/$5.25

Salads$2.50/$4.00

OTHER ITEMSTuna Salad Side $1.25Fresh Fruit $1.50Beverages $1.00Desserts $1.50

Monday-Friday 11:30am-2:00pmLocated in Whistlestop Active Aging Center

Jackson Café

whistlestop.org 11

The Bird's Side OF MARIN b y R I C H A R D P A V E K

PHOT

OS ©

RIC

HARD

PAV

EK

Avian Romance

When John Bowman, Whistlestop Express editor, mentioned that

the theme for this February is-sue was long-term relationships,

I thought about how I might fi t this column into that theme. There is no question that many, perhaps all, birds can be very romantic. Coo-ing doves, Lovebirds and Gannets, with their incessant bill touching and neck rubbing every time the male returns (which I illustrated two issues ago), are all good examples. But nothing stuck out as a prime example. Then I thought about Cupid, the winged hu-man. Back in olden days, Cupid was a mighty archer, fi ring great long arrows that enfl amed the Gods and Demi-Gods with romantic passions that infected their targets and troubled them for

years. Eons even. Not so the short arrows of the present day child-like cupids. Their arrows, more often than not, seem to instill romantic passion that lasts only briefl y — sometimes only until the next morning. Alas, more often than not, love seems to fl ame up, mature, and leave before we can grasp it fi rmly. Well, love can’t be grasped fi rmly, can it? So, having nothing else of great import to impart, I leave you with this Valentine’s image — two Black Swans in New Zealand. Every weekend, I email a beautiful, funny or unusual bird photo to Express readers. If you’d like something nice to look at in your Inbox, email me at SHENmaker@MSN.com. ✦

Till next month, Richard

Whistlestop Express FEBRUARY 201212

We Want Your ‘Grand-Stories!’

Do you have the cutest grandson in Marin County? How proud

are you of your granddaughter, the neurosurgeon? What is your favorite funny or poignant story about one of your grandkids or great-grandkids? We want your stories and

photos. The April issue of Whistlestop Express will feature stories about Marin County “grands.” Please send us your name, hometown, email ad-dress and/or phone number and tell us about your grandchildren. Contact us at valjohnbow@aol.com or call 916-751-9189. Deadline: Monday, March 5th. We look forward to hearing from you. ✦

Women in Print Exhibit/Talk

The Bolinas Museum has several exhibits in February. Women in Print: Etchings from Paulson Bott Press

Woven Photographs: by Julie GarnerDrawings: by Denis BoldAttic Treasures: Artifacts from the History Collection On Feb. 18, at 2pm, Renee Bott, who has spent years working with artists and diverse print techniques, will share some of her knowl-edge and experience and talk about the exhibi-tion. The talk is free and no reservations are required. The museum is located at 48 Wharf Road, Bolinas. For information, call 415-868-0330 or info@bolinasmuseum.org. ✦

415-884-4343 • www.HiredHandsHomecare.com

• We deliver full-service, non-medical caregiving

• Our caregivers are our employees—each is insured and bonded, and has gone through rigorous screening, orientation and training

• We handle all employer responsibilities— wages, taxes, Workers’ Comp

• Family-owned and operated since 1994

Call today for a complimentary Needs Assessment and Home Safety Evaluation

March 10th Shredding Day

W histlestop is offering another confi den-tial document shredding event Satur-day, March 10, from 9 am to 2 pm in

Whistlestop’s parking lot, 930 Tamalpais Ave., San Rafael. The Access Information Manage-ment Mobile Shred truck will be parked next to Whistlestop’s building. Sayeed Chaudhury, gen-eral manager, and his team will be available to help; there is no charge for shredding. However, a suggested donation of $4 per carton would be greatly appreciated to further Whistlestop’s mis-sion to “end loneliness everyday.” What can be shredded: All confi dential pa-pers, brochures, pamphlets, manila fi le folders, magazines, printer/copier paper, stationery, adding machine tape, photos, Post-Its, com-puter printouts, and envelopes. What cannot be shredded: food, wet waste, food containers, metal or glass containers, plastic and Styrofoam containers and mate-rial, tapes, discs, fl ash drives, hard drives, toner cartridges, plastic bags, ring binders and hanging folders. ✦

E PRESSWhistlestop

Want to Advertise in the

Call: Linda Black485-6700 x306

for rates and deadlines!

whistlestop.org 13

Plenty of folks meet and become friends at Whistlestop, but not many of them wind up getting married. That’s exactly what happened

with Elba and Bill White of San Rafael. About fi ve years ago, Elba came here from her native Columbia on a Friday and the following Monday met Bill at Whistlestop. “My daughter, Angela, wanted me to meet people so she took me there,” Elba recalls. “I met Bill that fi rst day. We had a nice conversation and soon we were seeing each other. Two years later, on October 10, 2008, we got married.” Bill recalls that a Whistlestop staffer seated Elba next to him at the Jackson Café. “That was all it took,” he said. Bill just turned 85 and Elba is 67. He said Elba is a “very energetic person” and he feels years younger since meeting her. “I am so thankful that her daughter

wanted her to socialize and that Whistlestop put us together.” Bill is a retired radiation physicist, having worked in several cancer centers in the area. Elba is a retired teacher, who taught Italian in Columbia. Bill taught Spanish for a while at a university in the Midwest. They also both love music, classical and Latin. They love reading together, including poetry. When asked what they have in common, Elba said, “Oh, my goodness. So many things. We enjoy our life together so much. There are not enough hours in the day.” ✦

One of life’s most painful experiences is coping with a loved one’s death. Our grieving mind fi nds the simplest decision diffi cult. And decisions about closing up the family home become next to impossible. The work can feel overwhelming. When that happens, a family member either calls Goodwill to take it all or parks every-thing in a storage unit at $187 a month until someone gets around to dealing with it. Here are fi ve suggestions to help close out an estate:1. As with any major project, plan ahead as much as possible. Determine if you have the time and resources to handle the cleanout by your-self or if you should hire an estate services professional. Consider what your time is worth and how costly any delay in selling might be. 2. Expect confl ict, both in your own emotions and among family members. Family dynamics are heightened at times of stress; whether you are the estate executor or not, consult with a professional if things get out of hand.3. Take care of pets and perishables immedi-ately. If the pet owner has named a new owner for Fido, consider yourself lucky. If not, the Marin Humane Society can offer guidance.

Perishables and garbage must be removed for health and safety reasons. But be careful! Don’t just dump the sugar canister or throw out the old mayo jar. As people age, they worry more about theft of their belongings and often fi nd very creative storage places. Caution: take medications to a pharmacy for disposal.4. Distribute items according to the will or trust. This is more diffi cult than it sounds. Often, an heir has moved and left no forwarding address. Sometimes, the item can’t be found. Be sure to keep a detailed record of everything you dis-pose of or distribute. 5. Take care of yourself. The task of cleaning out a home is physically strenuous and emo-tionally draining. Get adequate sleep, plenty of rest, good meals and exercise. Seek help from a grief counselor, if necessary, or contact Hospice about grief support groups. If you fi nd that closing the home is too overwhelming, call in a professional. For referral services, call Whistlestop’s Help Desk at 459-6700. ✦

Jane Lott, of Silver Rain Estate Transition Services, is on the board of Whistlestop. You can reach her at SilverRainETS@gmail.com or 415-601-2613.

They Met at Whistlestop and Wound Up Married

Leaving Home for the Last Time B y J A N E L O T T

Whistlestop Express FEBRUARY 201214

relationships of our lives: our birth fam-ily from whom we learn the power of love when Mommy can kiss a hurt away, and Daddy can keep off the boogie man, and that God listens to our prayers. That’s the fi rm foundation. Those relation-ships endure until one-by-one we bury them: father, moth-er, brother, sisters. The second layer is the guacamole, reminding me of my next long-term relationship: my husband. That’s where the color, spice and more healthy vitamins come into the taco spread, with the avocados, lemon, and garlic. Talk about long-term relationships! How about 63 years of marriage and 10 kids? Bob and I truly lived by our vows: unto death, and in those 63 years our relationship evolved through many changes as we matured and acquired new responsibilities. All of life is dynamic. The avo-cado becomes the guacamole and is spread over the refried beans. The third layer of the taco dip is the sour cream mixed with a package of taco seasoning and a little mayo. It represents my 10 kids, and that’s a lot of spice. I remember a friend, learn-ing that she was pregnant with her fi fth child, commenting to me, “What bothers me is the IN-EVITABLITY of it.” That’s right, my dear. From the delivery room to the death, he is yours. Now that’s a long-term relationship. Nothing is more life changing than the birth of your fi rst child. It’s the richest layer and the spiciest. Sprinkle in a few grandkids and great-grands and Yummy! The other layers are sprinkled over the sour cream: chopped green onions, sliced ripe olives, chopped fresh tomatoes, shredded cheddar cheese and Swiss cheese. They are the friends we make along the way: the co-workers, the com-mittee members, the bridge players, the health care workers, the visiting angels and servers of all kinds. They add fl avor, security and color to our lives. And that’s just the appetizer. Can you imagine the main course? ✦

Grand MOMby AUDREY METTEL FIXMER

Recipe for a Good Life

The holidays are such a great time to stay in touch with old friends. Although the postal service is woefully shrinking in

these days of instant texting, e-mailing and all the other social networking, I still love to get cards and letters … voices … from my past: Charlotte, a “mother’s helper” who lived with us for her senior year of high school and now has grandchildren of her own; Tom and Betty, who taught with Bob in the 50’s and shared our laughter and tears. They remind me of the many layers of love that add fl avor and richness to our lives. I thought of the analogy as I was making my Seven Layer Taco Dip for a New Year’s Eve party. First I selected a pretty Christmas dish to present it in. As I spread the thick glob of refried beans on the platter, I thought of it as the foundation, a healthy protein, like the long-term

Grocery Shopping Prepare Meals Light Housekeeping Drive to Appointment Run Errands

Alzheimer’s Care Med Reminders Bathing/Dressing Laundry And Much More!

Helping You Maintain Your Independence

A sample of our services:

As everyday life becomes more challenging, a little help can go a long way.

Call Today and Get $25 off! 415-451-0100

• Hospice Care• Companion Care• Housekeeping• Transportation• Run Errands• Post Surgery Care

• Memory Care• Med Reminders• Bathing/Dressing• Laundry• Cooking• And Much More!

whistlestop.org 15

Readers are invited to vote for their favorites in our Best of Marin for Older Adults issue.

Balloting is open to any Marin County resident who is 60 years of age or older. Remember, we are looking for the best places from the perspective of an older adult. So, service, accessibility and price are key factors.

Votes must be turned in by February 13. Simply write in your favorite place and the city of its location for each cat-egory and mail or drop off your ballot at Whistlestop, 930 Tamalpais Ave., San Rafael, CA 94901. Results will be published in the April issue of Whistlestop Express.

BEST RESTAURANTSBreakfast ___________________________________

Brunch ______________________________________

Lunch _______________________________________

Dinner ______________________________________

Best Service _________________________________

Most Economical _____________________________

American ___________________________________

Asian _______________________________________

Mexican _____________________________________

Italian ______________________________________

Persian _____________________________________

Vegetarian __________________________________

Other _______________________________________

BEST SPECIALTY FOODBurger ______________________________________ Hotdog ______________________________________Burrito ______________________________________Soup ________________________________________Salad Bar ___________________________________

2012BESTOFMAR NFOROLDERADULTS

Buffet _______________________________________

Pizza________________________________________

Coffee/Tea ___________________________________

BEST SHOPPINGSupermarket ________________________________

Farmer’s Market _____________________________

Clothing Store _______________________________

Gift Shop for Children ________________________

Pet Store ____________________________________

Bookstore ___________________________________

BEST OF MISCELLANEOUSContinuing Ed Classes ________________________

Computer Classes ____________________________

Park ________________________________________

Dog Park ____________________________________

Most Beautiful Vista _________________________

Best Walking/Hiking Trail ____________________

Whistlestop Express FEBRUARY 201216

Marin Senior Coordinating Council

930 Tamalpais AvenueSan Rafael, CA 94901-3325

Whistlestop.org

To subscribe to Whistlestop Express, please send $10/yr in the enclosed envelope. Or send an email with your request, your name and address to info@whistlestop.org

E PRESSWhistlestop

LIKE US on FacebookTo Enter Monthly Drawing

Discover AlmaVia of San Rafael.Our assisted living services offer our loved ones

just the right balance of independence, stimulating activities, large apartments and personal care.

Call today to schedule a free lunch and tour!

AlmaVia of San Rafael, an Elder Care Alliance community is cosponsored by the Sisters of Mercy of the Americas West Midwest Community & the Sierra Pacific Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. RCFE Lic # 216801868.

www.almaviaofsanrafael.org

415.233.6095

Discover the Difference.

515 Northgate DriveSan Rafael, CA 94903

2012

RSVP to: jrseminar@att.net | Space is Limited – Register Today!

Blue Door Conference Center

SEMINARS PRESENTED AT NO CHARGE

Presented by

February 22 Medi-Cal & VA:

Speaker: J.R. Hastings, JDFebruary 23

Speaker: J.R. Hastings, JD

Speaker: J.R. Hastings, JD

Speaker: David Knepler, Drake Terrace

Speaker: Veronica Balseiro, Narratives for Generations

Producer: J.R. Hastings Law Corporation