when they met again by alve aranton

7/27/2019 When They Met Again by Alve Aranton

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WHEN THEY MET AGAIN

Written by Alve Aranton

ALLISON

Allison had been staring at her own reflection in the bathroom mirror formore than thirty seconds. Or longer than thirty seconds, she wasnt sure herself.She had just realized she has been looking intently with her own image when itcame to a blur and she had to blink without any second thoughts. The white

envelope holding the high school class reunion invitation was still gripped tighton her right hand. She opened it once again, as if she hadnt been looking at itsince it was delivered at her doorstep an hour ago.

The metallic brown cursive letters engraved on the cream-colored crosswisepaper screamed maturity, thinking everybody had grown up, assuming high schoolhad happened 2 decades ago. But high school was not old enough as theirgrandparents ages. It felt new. It felt like, in Allisons head, just two daysago when the invite came in mail for her.

High school was as fresh as she had remembered it. Her hideous orthodontia.Her baggy clothes and mother jeans. Her sneakers with sharpie drawings on them.Her hair pulled into a ponytail everyday of the week. Sam. Her Sam. Her Sam thatshe had long vowed to forget and never utter again. But I was never the same

ever since, she affirmed to herself. She had thought life in high school wasworse but she was lucky enough to get out of it soon.

Shes 23. She had just graduated from NYU. Publishing houses and magazineshad been on a marathon to phone her up for a job suited perfectly for her. Andnow that she already has, writing for a magazine, she has asked herself too manytimes, Couldnt life get any better?. Well it sure was. She was already livingin her new Manhattan apartment she had bought for herself. Fully-furnished like amodern castle for a modern-day princess in the 20th century. It was nothing toobig actually, but it was more than enough for her. Tall glass windows enclosingher bare, white carnation flowers dipped in bottle vases, a Steinway piano on themiddle of the room, coffee-table books hidden below actual coffee tables. Thesmell of coffee and tea surrounding her. Thats what her life is now. Or is it?

She found herself walking to her room and flopped head-first on her cold,white bed. Clearly, she was not ready for this. Who was she going to see againafter she would have decided to go? For starters, theres Jenny she had went tosince kindergarten. Her best friend, actually, whom she had lost contact a yearago. Allison tried reconnecting, but she plainly had no idea what happened to thegirl. Same as Freddie, who lived beside her back then and actually hung-out withher and Jenny at Macs Diner after class. And who wouldnt forget Amber. Amberwho had perfectly glossy blonde hair and who wore cheerleading uniform as afashion statement. And Sam. Sam who had been everyones first love- her firstlove. She hated herself for thinking it was even love, because between the two ofthem, it was only her who felt it.

All Allison could ever think about was how this reunion could go wrong. Itis going to be one replica- a tiny diorama of what has been.

She could or she could not go, its her choice. But something deep insideher gut said she wanted to even if she had played it hard to deny every singlebit of it.

She lied down, stared at the ceiling and put her arms over her forehead. Shelet out a deep sigh and stood up like someone dragged her to.

Allison looked over at the invitation and thought about how pretentious-looking it all was. She read it all over- Saturday, 8pm.

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This reunion was lucky enough she didnt have anything planned out first

SAM

Everybody loved Sam. He had already entered the room, underdressed, andeveryone still remembered him. In a red plaid shirt, blue jeans, topsiders-casual as he had worn them, girls always gave a second glance. Hopeful enough tobe given a second look, hopeful to have their numbers asked. But Sam had ignoredthem, thats what he always does.

The reunion had just started but he was already waiting for the other shoeto drop. He wasnt even sure why he had allowed himself to go to this party. Hecould be hanging out with his new dog or he could be watching reruns of his gamesthe last season. He sat by a stool near the counter, grabbing himself a beer andlooked at the place the reunion committee had got. It was posh, dark, with a pooltable on the center. Gray-colored couches illuminated upon with yellow subduedlights. Girls in the room had dressed up fine. It probably took them weeks tolook something like they hadnt tried to look the way they are now. He smirked atthe thought of it. He was waiting for some guys from his football team in highschool. Or he was just waiting for someone else to arrive.

He was about to take a sip from his bottle of beer when somebody called hisattention.

Hey dude! Sam! How ya doin? Bryce was shouting from across the room, hishand raised for him. He was a lot different now than he was. His button-downshirt tucked neatly in his khaki pants. Bryce came in closer.

Dude, remember Sallie? He pointed over a redhead girl dressed in black andsky-high heels, sipping wine from her glass. Sam unearthed the girl from hismemory and recalled they went to homeroom together. Sam nodded to Bryce inagreement as if her were interested.

Yeah. Homeroom. Shes hitting on you? Sam laughed, teasing.

No dude. Thats the problem. Shes the one whos hitting on you. I came toher when I entered and she actually remembered we were this close and asked foryour number. I said I didnt have it. So she just went away. Poof! Bryce shookhis head in disbelief and had himself a glass of whisky.

Hah. Sucks for you. Get over it. So, looking classy, huh? Sam asked. Hecouldnt believe his good friend had to look like a guy selling flat irons oninfomercials. But in a good way. The last time he had recalled, he was alwayswrapped in a letterman jacket and wore black-rimmed spectacles.

Been working for a firm man. I dont know, sometimes the job just gets toyou and Im beating my brains out but it all pays good. Hey, hey, hey youre theone whos big now. Bryce actually took a step back and eyed Sam from head totoe. I mean, come on. Youre a quarterback. For the Jets! Bryces eyes grewbigger and his voice was becoming louder, Sam had stopped him before Bryce getsworse.

Keep it low man. Im just lucky, I guess. Sam laughed, keeping everything

cool. He didnt want any attention.

Lucky? Come on. We all know you were gonna make it big. Bryce had beenacting like the biggest fan in the universe of football but Sam was glad hes gotthis dudes back.

An hour had already passed and Sam and Bryce were pretty exhausted with allthe conversations they have had. Both had met up with the other boys from theteam as well but nothing entirely big had come up with their banters. He was notgood with small talk.

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He figured hed might as well leave and sleep on his bed. He was trying toweigh between boredom and the bottles of beer he had taken that had made himtipsy at this time of night. He fished for his car keys, making it sound, so hecould signal Bryce and the others.

He was just about to go when Amber shoved herself in front of him.

Hi Amber. Nice to see you. He greeted her with disinterest when Amberlaughed hoarsely. She was still blonde. Still the girl with the figure.

Relax Sam. Im not gonna torment you. Just stopped by to say hi. Now shewas actually serious and Sam was thankful she had to say those things before hecould say them out loud.

Okay, good. Can I go? Im running a little late, Ive got things to, uh,do. Sam excused himself while Amber had raised her hand for a wave. She wasprobably drunk. Good escape, Sam, he thought. He also thought she was going tochase him, but the night seems good she didnt.

Sam was walking slowly now, just meters away from the door when someonefamiliar had entered. Everyone seemed to have looked at her too. She was dressedin a simple white lace dress. Her hair was put aside on her shoulder into waves.She was looking around for someone. Perhaps someone she could go with, someoneshe could talk to for the rest of the party. She appeared unsure, regretting why

she had come to in the first place.

When she turned to looked at her right side, she was staring back into Samseyes. Sam knew who she was.

Sam knew it was Allison.

ALLISON

The very first person she had laid eyes on was Sam.

And it was nothing like Allison had expected. But it was probably what shehad hoped for. This must be absolutely wrong, right? She asked herself. Then why

does it feel like it was the exact opposite of it all?

Her blue eyes were holding on to his green eyes. Holding on for a minute ortwo until her feet had moved and walked into a different direction. She was acoward, she admitted that to herself. If she hadnt been so buried in the past,she couldve just walked up to him and said hi. Like a normal human being. Butshe ran away.

She escaped to the nearest part of the counter and stood by herself. WhileSam stood, inanimate. Until he had finally left and disappeared in front of hereyes.

He was still Sam. She knew the moment she saw him again that she was longingfor him. Longing to talk to him again. Longing to see his smirk forming on his

face. Longing to be held by his hand again. She was a lot disappointed thanherself right now than the moment she had entered in this room.

She didnt know what to do but the first instinct was, to find a stool, siton it and grab a glass of sparkling wine. So she did. She took another gulp untilnothing was left, until two noisy people had shouted something inaudible in herears. She hurled, almost throwing the wine out of her mouth when she opened hereyes and saw Jenny and Freddie laughing boisterously on either of her side.

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What. Goodness. You scared the hell out of me! I havent seen you for agesand now youre going to scream at my face like nothing had happened? Jenny andFreddie were still laughing, thinking what Allison said was a piece of tiny joke.

Allison gave in and gave each one of them the tightest hug she could evergive.

Where the hell were you?! She snarled at Jenny.

Jenny had grown her hair. Had her skin painted into a tan. Her black dress

was hugging her body in all the right places, and there was Allison, still thegood ol plain jane. Went to India. Im sorry I hadnt spoken. Or called. Phonesare not allowed. Ive been immersing myself with meditation and all that.

For what? Still, Allison could not believe it. Freddie was by Jennys sideand smiling.

I needed to find myself. Thats what Elizabeth Gilbert did. Jenny said itlike it was the easiest suggestion she could take. Allison had no said in that.

Allison pointed to Freddie, who as drinking his glass of vodka. She knew hedidnt want to be asked about anything, but Allison just had to.

Im married.

What? When? God. How old are you? We were living beside each others housesand now, youre married? I didnt even know who she is. This was too much newsAllison could take in, but she was happy for him anyway. Allison came into anembrace. She was obliged to do that.

Him. Let me correct you with that.

Youre-?

Gay. Jenny cut in. Ally, come on. It was pretty obvious. Allison staredat the two of them and gave out a big sigh for the night.

Im sorry guys. Im just really overwhelmed right now. What with all thenews, seeing the two of you again. She sighed again and found her way to relax.

Youre the one whos got something to share. Jenny pointed her out.

Youre the big feature and design editor for Vanity Fair. And Ive neverseen you so look so stunning.

And jaded.

You saw him didnt you? Freddie sensed there was something going on withher. Allison nodded slowly. They still remember. She still remembers.

Who? Sam? Jenny asked for confirmation. Freddie and Allison fell silentand it was the sound that Jennys question was answered.

I saw him Ally. And he. is. gorgeous! You couldve just talked to the guy!Youre in Vanity Fair, hes on Jets.

Hes on Jets? I didnt know that.

Shame on you writer. Freddie was mocking her, that actually made herlaugh.

Heard he just got on the team. And he looks better than ever.

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Allison could not agree more. He was still beautiful, the kind of beautifulsculptors and wax artists couldnt even dare to make. How could Allison not hearabout that? But that was good for her too, at least.

You should talk to him. Freddie said.

No. Never. Besides, he just left. Ill probably never see him again. Maybehes living in Europe or whatever. I dont know. Im not going to.

Allison Grant. Where have you been? The Jets are from New York my friend.

That means hes playing this season and when hes playing this season, hesliving in New York too because he is going to trainings and shaping his bicepsand hes near you. Jenny told Allison with utmost confidence like she knowsabout everything. Freddie agreed, nodding. Even Allison had agreed. She waslosing her mind for this, just meeting Sam once again. Shes just being stupid,thats all.

Come on, lets just forget about high school and Amber whos drunk overthere okay? Tonight were reunited and were gonna have fun! Freddie and Jennydragged Allison to the dance floor and she just let the two of them bring herthere.

They were right, nobody could ruin the night.

And Sam? Allison kept Sam at the back of her head and danced for the firsttime in years.

SAM

He couldnt get her off his mind.

When he saw Allison again, the moment was like one of those movies peoplesee. Where the two characters, after having been away from each other for years,are stuck in the middle of drowning in each others eyes while everything andeveryone around them had stopped moving and turning. It was just the two of them,clearly wanting to speak to each other but without having the courage to. Untilone has left and the other stayed firm on its ground, waiting for another

sporadic turn of events to be able to see each others paths again.

Will I see Allison again?

That was the question that has been racing on in his mind tonight. Theanswer could be yes. She could be somewhere living in an upper class apartment inSoHo. Or he could catch her sipping a cup of coffee in Starbucks with her redlipstick tainting its cup. However, the answer could be no. Perhaps shes livingin France or in the Eastern part of London like the way she had always wanted-writing poetry, wrapping herself up in oversized toffee-colored sweaters in therainy weather. Or she couldve left for an early flight tomorrow morning andnever see her again for the next 5 years.

But Sam was holding on to the possibilities. That he could, see and hold and

kiss her again. If it were that easy to gain her trust. But will she even give itto him, after everything?

He made himself a cup of coffee and nestled in the gray couch too big for aperson living alone in a spacious apartment. Sam scoured for his old yearbookhidden under the glass coffee-table in front of him and turned to the page wherehe knew exactly where to see Allisons face again.

The yearbook was already covered with tiny specks of dust but he paid noattention to them at all. Instead, he was sweeping them off carefully like theywere glitters that have fallen from its canister. Carefully, he turned the pages

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and eventually found Allisons. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail, her smileso wide her braces were gleaming. She was in a sweater the color of cream. Itread: Allison C. Grant, future writer and traveler.

Sam smiled at the thought of her, not knowing the reason why. Maybe hemisses her or maybe he has the reason to miss her because he wants to say sorry.Is sorry even enough?

He rummaged for his phone buried deep in the sofa and dialled up Rob. Robshis friend he met two summers ago over a friends party. He is a fact checker for

The New York Times and he knows exactly what to do with verifying whereabouts ofpeople.

After the second ring, Rob had picked up. Hello? his voice was groggy, hewas probably woken up from his sleep.

Hey Rob, its Sam. Sorry to have wake you up.

Hey man. I was just sleeping but hey, whyd make the call so late? AnythingI can be of good to you? The sound of him sitting up for bed was loud enough Samcould hear the blankets rustle.

Uh yeah if its okay, Id like to find someone. Just some address or whereshes working at, I dont know but, can you?

Whos she? Rob gave a sigh and Sam laughed.

Allison Grant. There was dead silence, Sam grew with unease.

God. This is where I hate being a fact checker.

Counting on you. Thanks man! Rob put the phone down and Sam smiled filledwith so much hope even he couldnt believe it himself.

ALLISON

Jenny slept in Allisons apartment. Shell probably stay over a week or two

until she finds her own place while Freddie had left and ensured to go back tothe penthouse his husband had rented temporarily.

Its already 4am and Allison was already awake. The sky was blueblack whenshe looked out her windows and the city lights were still as bright as it did thenight before. The sound of the clock was rhythmic as the beating of her heart andtook no notice of Jennys loud snoring in the bed. She must have been so tiredperhaps her sleep was dreamless.

Allison went to the kitchen and prepared herself a cup of hot chocolate. Shefelt peculiarly cold that she went and grabbed a furry white afghan in the livingroom and cocooned herself in it. She stayed there, speaking to herself with hermind as the silence of the dawn.

Then she went back to the idea of why, of all the things she could feel,seeing Sam made her angry and miserable but happy and hopeful all the same time.Why then? This was the answer; a new boy came to town in sixth grade. When hecame to enter history class one day, sixth graders started talking. Girls weregiggling and boys were trying to be this new boys friends, while Allison lookedat him and wished for every wishbone in her moms Chicken Curry for him to lookat her too.

Allison thought her wishes became real when he looked at her back the nextweek before this boys arrival. It was in the room for Science class when he hadentered earlier than he usually does. He sat two chairs before her and he turned

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back for a second then looked into her eyes. She realized his eyes were green.She thought hed say hi but he didnt. And Allison didnt even know his name yetuntil he was called up by Mrs. Daugherty for sleeping during classes. His namewas Sam- Sam Oakley- and she never dared to forget his name ever again.

They sort of grew up together because she was lucky Sam didnt transfer toany schools then. So every year, in high school, Allison had witnessed Sam turninto a dashing young man. He got taller, more robust. But his green eyes werestill the same- they were the same beautiful eyes Allison tried avoiding in sixthgrade. He was the kind of guy you wake up for but never was once aware of how

late you slept at night dreaming about him. He just never knows because he failsto.

Allison and Sam never spoke to each other once. She just spent most of thetime thinking the shared glances meant something more than looking at each otherby chance. Until she accidentally and forgetfully left the blue moleskin journalshe routinely writes with every night on her stool at Chemistry. Recalling thememory made Allison cringe.

If one could think it was just a simple mishap, then it was all a bigmistake. And all at once she was written all over everyones conversation thenext day because Amber had published her journal for everyone to see, passingfrom one person to the next until it came to Sam. It was just then that sheremembered too late that Amber had also been in her Chemistry class, and there

was no doubt she was the source of scandalizing her private, written thoughts.She had poured herself over that moleskin journal her grandmother had bought forher 10th birthday and it was the most important thing she could ever own.

Jenny and Freddie tried to make Allison okay by hoarding the biggest burgerin town and what looks like a tray of fries that they had called the Island ofFries. She appreciated them, for trying to make an effort in making her feel alittle less embarrassed, a little less unhappy. But she didnt. Because she wasextremely humiliated she didnt want to go to school anymore and when it occurredto her all over again that Amber had spilled her journal for everyone elsesentertainment- she wanted to barf, or hide in her basement and get lost untilshes found 20 years right after. Except she couldnt do anything. She wasdefenseless. She had to go to school if she wants to finish for college. She hadto face everyone otherwise, shell get to be talked about even more.

It lasted for months until she got used to being called Anne Frank with thebraces. She even found her journal lying in the sink on the school bathroom. Shedidnt want to take it but she could not risk someone else reading it again. Itstill hurt, but she did her best to pass those words into the other ear.

A week after, she had decided to walk other peoples dogs for an extraamount of money she could earn to buy herself plenty of books from this newbookshop beside the cafe blocks away from her house. The sun was startlinglybright that day she squinted everytime she walked a step with Mrs. Sandersgolden retriever Bruce. Suddenly, her shoelaces untangled loosely that she wasclasping Bruces leash tightly on her arm when eventually, Bruce went barking asloud as it normally did and ran straight, almost five blocks away from her. Sheran, panting and was able to find him then. She was almost running out of breath

when Bruce was sitting on a lawn. The house was wooden and yellow and it was likeit was taken cared of by a Stepford Housewife. There was a swing hanging near thedoor with throw pillows, an afghan and pots of flowers sitting by the woodenfloor. She called for Bruce, thankful she had finally seen him when the screendoor opened and there, appeared before her, was Sam. Sam was obviously surprisedtoo, looking at her intently with every step he made before he came closer toBruce.

Nice pet. Yours? He sat on all fours and started petting Bruce on theface. Allison remembered being so nervous at that time she wanted to disappear.

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But she had the courage to talk to him. She ignored her journal. She ignored thethought of everyone else in school. She ignored her certain liking for Sam.

Uh, no. Decided I could walk dogs for extra bucks. She wished her voicewas louder but thankfully Sam heard her. Allison decided to fetch Bruce now fromSams hold so she could get away easily.

Sorry he ran into your house. I didnt know. One second I was tying myshoelace and then poof, he just ran away.

Sam stood up and put his hands on his pockets. No its okay. Really. Hesmiled at her and nodded in confirmation. Allison tagged Bruces leash, settingboth of them to leave when Sam called back her attention.

Uh, Allison? He was walking closer to her.

You know my name? Allison wondered, surprised.

How could I not? Sam looked like he was taken aback by her question.

Yeah. How could you not, my journal was leaked right? Sorry. I shouldbetter go now. She replied sarcastically but it looked like Sam wasnt convincedat all.

Hey hey hey. We went to a few classes together okay. Leave it at that. He

was catching up and followed Allison by the moment she tried walking away. Samwas holding her arm and she couldnt get away from the grip.

Sorry. That was what only Sam could say to her.

Ive spent almost half of my life being sorry for myself when my journalcame out so you dont need to say that. She realized she was being harsh ratherthan appearing strong. Sam looked disheartened.

I know. It probably hurts-

She interrupted him.

More than you could ever-

But Sam cut her back.

Do you want to grab some ice cream? They looked at each other for a seconduntil Sam smiled for her. That night, Allison started writing again. And Allisonnever thought what would follow after. Sam would take her home after classes andhe would take her out for dinner. Theyd go to their hiding places and drivearound town in Sams car while their windows are rolled down, the music blastingsome old Beatles songs. He would kiss her and Allison would kiss him back. He washer first kiss that she thought was going to be the last. Allison couldnt bemore happier. Couldnt get more sad. Shed wait for him all the time because hedignored her in the hallways. She tried to take peeks of him when shed get herbooks on the locker, but he was there, not beside her. She knew she was beingloved in secret and it was the kind of secret that doesnt deserve to be kept.

She wasnt some secret a boy has too keep.

Sam would wake her up in phone calls in the middle of the night and hed tryto make it look like everything was fine. Like one knock on the door and hethought, he was making her happy. Theyve had fights here and then but Sam wasgood at bringing her back up again. Allison was that fragile, bent. Theneverything didnt go so well between the two theyve managed to be apart evenwhen the distance, the intervals that grew between them stung Allison. Shewondered if it stung Sam too.

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Still Sam pulls her back, Allison gives in. Theyd get back, they dont.Theyd speak again and wont. It was a cyclic method that Allison knew was goingto end. However she tried to hold them both together.

Allison still remembers vividly Sam asked her to prom. It was the false kindof happiness she had felt but she was rooting for something, hoping, that thatwas going to make her happy in the end. She had on the most beautiful dress, puton some make-up and waited. Waited for Sam to come but never arrived.

She didnt cry because her tears were inside them. She went into bed,

slipped off her dress and put herself to sleep. Allison and Sam was never thesame ever since. They never spoke to each other again no matter how much shewanted and it still tingles how they never said goodbye after graduation. It waslike reading an unfinished book or leaving a cup of coffee in the table that hadturned cold.

Allison had been thinking long and hard. Looking back from the past made hersleepy. So she lied down on the couch big enough for her and closed her eyesinstead. She heard Jenny snore loudly even more and laughed at the sound of it.Before she knew it, she had fallen asleep again, and hoped Sam wouldnt visit herin dreams.

SAM

Hey man, thought I could wake you up just like what you did lastnight. So, this Allison Grant is a feature and design editor for VanityFair. The publication here in New York is in 4 Times Square, 7 th floor.Called her secretary up this morning and says shell be at her office by 10am. Didnt make an effort to ask on where she lives or someone would thinkIm a stalker. But its up for you to find out big boy. Oh and also, do youalways fact check girls youre interested with? Hah! Call me when you needme. Bye!

Beep.

Out of all the people, Rob could just be the noisiest he had on hisanswering machine. Rob was funny enough Sam couldnt bring himself to laughor even thank him back because he was too bleary. But the information Robhad given him was inevitably painting a smile on Sams mouth. What he hadon before was some tiny bit of hope. Now it was something tangible, alreadybecoming real.

But the reality is frightening. He just cant see her from out of theblue like he was some cousin she hadnt seen in years. There is a fatchance she wouldnt want to see his face anyway. So why would Sam botherto? The answer was simple; because he wants to see her, notwithstanding thehate she could give or the prospects of banging the door right on his face.He wouldnt want to care.

It is only 8 am and he put on his gray sweater to keep himself warm.He went back to his bed, pulled a blue moleskin journal in his drawer andstarted reading it. It was Allisons. He wondered if Allison stillremembered it or she had any idea Sam was the one who kept it.

Allisons journal looked flat and worn-out. The edges of its papersturned ivory and the ink written on it seemed to blot and erase the longeryou stare at it. Her handwriting were cursive, slanted and messy- everysingle letter, every word clutched all the sadness and euphoria she musthave felt.

I miss Sam. It had been days since we hadnt seen each other. He hadnt even talk

to me at school and wouldnt even dare to look my way in the hallways. Why would

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keep me as a secret? Id like to think Im some buried treasure no one has to kno

except for one lucky man who found it. I felt that I was found by him but I keep

losing him instead. It doesnt make sense. I hope it does sooner.

Sam was holding his breath when he was reading it. Why had he been such acoward, thinking more of himself than Allison? She was selfless, he wasnt. Hehad seen her love him more than he did. He turned to pervious pages from earlierentries and read some more.

Is it right to fall in love in sixth grade? Because maybe I am. Thankfully, Mrs

Daughertycalled him up from sleep. Hes names Sam. Sam Oakley. Sam Oakley witthe green eyes and beautiful hair. He looked at me today.

He smirked thinking of Allison admiring his green eyes. He was trying toremember her when they would drive around town and hed look at him like seeinghim for the first time. Her smile was the most courageous thing he ever saw fromall the cowardice surrounding him. Shed talk about everything and never wantingto stop. Shed ask why cars are designed the way they are. Shed question whyboys like sports than most girls do. Shed contradict him. She was good for him.But he wasnt. Shed dream about becoming a writer and writing about him in everysingle work shed make. Shed dream for him too, of playing ball and making itbig.

But why did he do what he had done?

He was 18? But so was she.

He was young? But so was she.

He wanted to be like everybody else?

He wasnt what he is now?

What he did was a mistake?

Yes.

Sam got up from bed, clasped the journal and figured he could give it backto her if shed allow herself to. Hed like to think theres more time but

theres isnt more, really. So he slipped off his clothes, took a hot shower anddecided he could go.

ALLISON

Ms. Ally? Sarah, who was Allisons secretary sounded nervous. Her voicewas tiny and shaky, although she thought it was probably her normal voice Allisonhad just lately recognized. She couldnt see her from the glass doors of heroffice but she didnt mind seeing her anyway.

Yes, Sarah?

Someones looking for you. He said he wants to take a little from yourtime. Sarahs voice was still shaking.

Whos he? Is it Amos? Because I desperately need the back issues on file.He has to do them right away-

Uh, no its not Amos. He said his names Sam. Sam Oakley from high school?Sarah doesnt sound too nervous now. And it looks like Allison was the oneturning pale and uneasy. Sam? Why would he come over? Why did he always makethings hard for her? Hes always too late.

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Uh, Sam? Asking Sarah about Sam sounded repetitive.

Yes. I can cancel it if you want but he seems eager. Sarahs voice wasalmost disappearing. Allison was holding the phone tight.

Tell him he can see me in 5 minutes. And just like that, Allison hung upand did not wait for Sarahs confirmation. She clearly did not know what to dowith herself or Sam or what shed look like or what shell be like. This was thekind of jumpiness she had felt from her first job interview and her first timeriding a roller coaster in Florida. What have I done? She told herself. You dont

want to see him, Allison, you dont. She repeated, over and over inside her head.Convincing herself. Five minutes was too short, or so she thinks. She waspretending to fix her cluttered pens, folders and pieces of papers piled on herdesk. The room was cold but she was beginning to perspire. She turned halfway,almost tipping herself over. And there was Sam nearly entering her glass doorswith Sarah. When he was coming in closer, the moment was becoming slower. Likeher heartbeat was going to stop at any minute or was going to explode right infront of him. She gulped. Sarah opened the doors for Sam. And there he was,standing on Allisons holy ground.

It was the way she had looked at him in sixth grade all over again. Thosewere the green eyes she tried forgetting. His hair, disheveled but never a mess.His blue button-down shirt. His hands on his pockets.

Hi. That was the first thing Sam had said, his eyes were lowering down.Allison had been thinking too hard on what to respond it almost took her anotherminute to think of what to say to him.

Why are you here? Her words sounded like a whisper she could barely hearthem herself. Sam moved a little closer, cautious.

Look- Allison was raising her hand now, trying to stop what he was goingto say to her. She reminded herself never to ask him for explanations. -ifyoure here to make small talk and ask me for coffee like weve been good friendsthen Ive got no time, okay?

Sorry, I had no plans on ruining someones day, at all. Sam raised hishands too in defense. Allison saw him smile. How could he smile at a time likethis?

Im just going to give back something. He held her moleskin journal shehad already forgotten. Allison couldnt believe he kept it. She looked at it,doubtful if she ever wanted it back.

You kept it?

Yeah. The last time we hung out back then I sneaked it off when we were onyour room. Thought I could give it back to its rightful owner. Oh and dontworry, I didnt put it out for everyone else to read.

How funny. She mumbled to herself and rolled her eyes at him. Sam wasenjoying it. Sadist.

Hey, Im just kidding, okay? When I saw you at the reunion we didnt haveany chance to talk and it occurred to me the journals been with me for years.He paused, taking a look at his office and said, Nice place. Youve finally gotwhat you wanted. His smile was so tempting she wanted to smile at him too. Shewas glad he remembered what she had always wanted. Sam was still holding out thejournal for her reach. In shaking hands she reached for it and held it lightly onher hand. She felt his hand brush on hers but she ignored it anyway. She gulpedagain and turned her back to return to her desk.

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Allison just nodded, her eyes watery almost coming to tears. She sniffed,lunged for breath and gave into an exhale. He was right there in front of her,she was having a hard time breathing.

You know, Im sorry. It was a perfectly bad start. You think I can make itup for coffee? Im pretty sure you came a long way here so. She had never askedout a guy for coffee before. Except for work or for guys like Freddie. She didntknow what she was getting into. It was dangerous. But she liked the danger of itall. Sam smiled genuinely for her and had never looked so relieved when heentered.

Never thought youd ask that but who am I to refuse, right? Allison andSam shared a smile. Allison was sure not one of them looked away, until her phonerang and off she went to answer it.

SAM

Sam and Allison were walking their way to Gregorys Coffee. The silence wasits most uncomfortable and when Sam was trying to walk beside her, to slow thingsdown, Allison would rush. She wouldnt even look at him in the eye. He wanted tohold her hand tight- to stop whatever it was that they were doing. But he was theone who was catching up, trying to reach for her. Obviously, she was trying to

avoid him.

They sat on a table for two by the window. People were brimming at this dayand the smell of coffee could downright enter everyones nostrils. Sam paid forAllisons coffee however she tried insisting. Sam had a Night Vision Espressowhile Allison had herself a Toddy Iced Coffee.

It took a while for them to open up to each other. Although Sam wasdesperate for talk, the nerves were getting into him. Her blue eyes kept avoidinghis green eyes. She kept on looking down on her coffee that Sam could alreadylook at the ceiling to save themselves.

They had accidentally looked at each other in the eye when Allison lookedaway and fidgeted for her phone in her purse. Sam found himself smiling againwhen her phone was actually sitting on the glass table. She was so beautiful thatway she doesnt need to change.

Its on the table. Sam was still smiling, pointing it out. But Allisonlooked at him, startled.

Table?

Youre phone. Its on the table Allison. You keep searching for it in thepurse its just right there. He wanted to laugh at her but the girl was zonedout.

She sighed heavily, looking embarrassed. Thanks. Why are you doing this?

Doing what? Sam was trying to make a fun out of her when Allison was dying

to give this all up.

Coming back. Pretending like nothing happened. Coffee. Coming into myoffice. I just dont get it.

You were the one who invited me for coffee, apparently.

Ugh. Forget about that. This conversation is going nowhere. She slumpedback on her chair. Sam was enjoying this. This is not bad for a start.

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Why are you acting so stubborn about all this? Sam had no intention onasking it harshly. It sounded like a tease. He smiled again.

Huh. Look whos asking. She rolled her eyes in front of him.

Look whos stubborn.

Stop repeating a word from what I said. She crossed her arms, trying tocover herself. And they fell silent, Sam was still mocking her. Another minutehad passed but the silence that had between them was already growing secure. Like

it was okay just to be this silent to each other.

Heard youre playing for the Jets this season. How does it feel? Allisonwas trying to make conversation. Sam thought this was progress.

I didnt know you were interested in what I do now.

Im trying to make this conversation as fluid as possible okay. Keep up,Sam. Sam was laughing hard now and he was surprised Allison had uttered his nameagain.

Okay maam. Im keeping up. Sam raised his hands, taunting her again. Noseriously. Yeah Im playing this season. Ive got a big deal since Pittsburgh.Figured I can make the cut. Luckily I did. Im pretty excited actually. Allisonlooked at him intently, Sam sensed he needed to ask her some questions too.

Hows Vanity Fair going? We know youve always wanted to become a writer.Allison fell silent, stirring her cold coffee and looked at him. Sam wasnt goodwith small talk but what with Allison in front of him, hed give anything, talkabout anything.

Tried out for Vogue but Im too scared of Anna.

Wintour? He asked.

I didnt know guys who play football know editors for fashion magazines.

Blame it on my mother. And it cropped up to Sam that Allison never met hismother. He didnt even bring her home to meet his parents. The silence grew

awkward again.

Yeah mothers. She mumbled, smiling slightly. When Allison lowered hereyes, she raised her left brow and stared right back at Sam. Sam looked at hertoo. And before they know it, they were laughing. Sam had no idea who brought itup, it was some rare connection he couldnt explain.

Before Sam could say anything more, Allison was stealing glances at herwatch and stood up to leave. They walked their way out the door and separatedinto opposite directions.

Bye, Sam. Thanks for the, uh, coffee and all that. Allison smiled at him,and Sam nodded at her. Allison was already walking away when Sam came rushing forher, taking up giant leaps just to catch her.

Hey, hey. Sam was catching his breath while Allison was walking a lotfaster, farther from him. When Sam arrived at her proximity, Allison turned tolook at him, astonished by his actions.

Do you think uh- He was gasping for air and scratching his head. It wasclear to him Allison was preventing herself from laughing. He did not care. Hemustered up all the courage he can get and asked, Do you think we can go todinner at 8? I can pick you up. Sams voice was fading away, Allison was lookingblank. And looking from her reaction, Sam was already close to giving up. It tooka while to hear Allisons answer, prolonging Sams agony.

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He was praying it did not appear to Allison how nervous he was when her lipsmotioned, Youre so persistent, you know that? She smirked at him and turnedher back, moving to walk away again. It looked like his hopes just went downhill.

But before he knew it, Allison turned herself to Sam again, bearing theanswer he wanted so badly to hear. Pick me up at 7:30.

Sam got what he wanted.

ALLISON

He did what?! Jenny exclaimed as Allison was speaking with her through thephone. Her voice was as loud as a megaphone Allison had to pull herself away fromthe speakers. She could already sense the smile forming on Jennys face from thetone of giddiness in her voice.

Still, Allison could not believe how easy she gave in to Sams invitation.Why had she been so impulsive? She was supposed to hate him or loathe him tooblivion for that matter. She was supposed to repel. She already compelledherself to forget him the night they saw each other again. But whenever she triedto stay away from him, the closer he comes right back at her.

Calm down Jen! Dont you forget youre on the phone in my own apartment soI need you to please, lower your voice down. Allison was sitting uncomfortablyon her leather chair that she was raising her hand in what appears to be somekind of self-diagnosed panic attack.

Pgsh well, forgive me your highness but can you just please tell meeverything? Im just stoked here you know. As your best friend its in my jobdescription to support your endeavors in love now that Sam Oakleys reconnecting.Come on! Tell me, tell me, tell me. Jennys unbelievable excitement actuallymade Allison laugh. It felt good to have Jenny back that now, she probably needsher most.

Allison stood from her chair, removed her romper heels and walked back andforth in her gray-carpeted office. Okay here goes: you wouldnt believe he justcame up to my office out of the blue and I asked him for coffee because I felt

guilty I had acted so mulish. And then he actually paid for my Toddy which wasone smooth move for someone I havent seen in years. She flopped on her blueleather couch while Jenny listened in anticipation. She could already pictureJenny nodding her head in so much focus.

And then we talked. You shouldve seen how awkward everything was and thenthe next thing I knew we were laughing for no apparent reason. And then there,there you go, he asked me for dinner. Tonight at 8. And ugh, can you even believewhat I said to him? Allison was talking real fast now she didnt seem to noticeshe needed more air to breathe and speak.

What what what?! I think I know what that is! Jenny was squeaking inexcitement at the other end of the line.

I said, pick me up at 7:30. With a fucking smile on my face. I lookedlike I was flirting! That is not me, Jenny. That is bizarre. Thats the lastthing I want to do, believe me! Allison couldve cried out but she sat straightand put her hand on her forehead incredulously.

I knew it! Hahahaha! That was great, Ally! Its bout time you datesomeone you know. And Allison heard another scream from Jennys voice shethought about switching places with her best friend. There were muffled noises ofsaucers or whatever fragile glassware had dropped on the floor.

Hey are those my china?

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No just one mug I had for coffee. Sorry, that wont happen again. SeriouslyAlly, you have got to come home early so I can help you pick out something youcan wear tonight.

He said hell pick me up here.

Thats a good idea. Looks like Sams really relentless now. I bet hedeven take a bullet for you.

I doubt it. High school was a warning sign taped cautiously on my head.

That wasnt a warning sign Ally. That was the past- a mistake. A lessonlearned. We know what he did to you but I know, deep inside that gooey heart ofyours you want him back and obviously, he feels the exact same way. Why dont youtake some risk? Youre grown now- were all grown up now. This isnt high school.Give him a chance you know.

Look at what India did to you.

Hah! Gotta give myself credit for that. But seriously Ally, think about it.Who knows, right? Jenny made a lot of sense Allison wanted to ignore. She noddedlike Jenny could actually see her through the phone. From Jennys words, it wasundeniable how right she was. And Allison hated someone being right that shecould already see her own flaws.

Allison had agreed to Jenny just so the conversation would end. She staredat the ceiling, inhaled all the thoughts that could make up her decision andstood up.

This might just be the first time Allison is going to ditch someone.

SAM

He had never been more prepared in his life. When Allison accepted theinvitation he was dying to ask, he wanted to jump out of pure joy or dance awayall the unexplainable nervousness creeping in his entire body.

As agreed, he was to pick up Allison at 7:30. But of course he didnt wantto make the slightest bit of bad impression by coming in late so he startedriding a cab at 6:40 and calculated that he could most possibly arrive at 7:00.When the cab pulled in at the foot of the skyscraper, Sam looked at his watch andnoticed he had only been in a 10-minute ride. He was too early and he didnt wantto scare Allison off by appearing too eager. Instead, he decided he could buy hera bouquet of pink roses at Ode A La Rose. When he reached the flower shop, an oldflorist welcomed him to an array of flowers he was completely unfamiliar with. Hethought the pink roses would make Allisons blue eyes more vibrant, so he couldlook at them all night.

As soon as he purchased the flowers, the florist secured them in a box withthe shops logo. Then it materialized into something like a pastry he wanted toeat. He paid for them and the old lady was still smiling from what he had bought.

He walked his way straight to Allisons building, took the elevator up at 7 th andwhen he entered its glass doors, he saw her secretary talking calmly on thephone. He remembered its name was Sarah. He smiled at her politely, and Sarah putthe phone down.

Hi. I think Im too early but I guess Ill wait for Ally here. Is it okay?He gestured at a leather couch snug perfectly in front of Sarahs desk. Sarahshair was pulled into a neat bun and nodded with every single word he had uttered.But Sarah broke into an uncertain look that he wasnt sure what it truly meant.Sarah stood from her desk and walked towards Sam.

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She actually left. I swear I didnt know she had any plans at all fortonight. Im sorry. But you can leave the flowers here and I can give it to hertomorrow. Sarah explained while she clasped her hands tight while she wastalking to him. Sam could only gulp. He didnt know what to respond to her and hedidnt know what to react with his feelings either.

Sam had been outsmarted. Of course. Who would even give in for dinner thisearly? Look what expecting too much did to him. Sarah looked sorry for him, hewas even more sorry for himself. He doesnt want to get mad at Allison but he wasscared hed get to that point tonight. He didnt say any words to Sarah as he

left. He searched for the nearest trash bin and thrown away the roses thatreminds him of her.

***

He already had three bottles beer but he didnt seem to feel it burn histhroat yet. The bar was silent but an old music sounded faint through his ears.It was lonely, like all the people around him. Glasses were tinkling, gulps fromliquor was loud enough he could hear them. Why would Allison do such a thing? Heasked himself. He didnt know the exact answer but he was well aware what madeher do it.

He took another drink that was consumed halfway when he felt something warmhover beside him and saw Amber sitting on a stool close to him.

Hey, stranger. This time, she did not look drunk. And it wasnt a goodsign. Sam smiled slightly and took another gulp.

Amber, seriously. What are you doing here? He was annoyed he wanted to getaway and leave but Amber held his arm and stopped him from doing so.

Stop being such an ass okay. This is completely coincidental. Sheexplained sincerely and Sam straightened himself up, hearing the truth from herwords. Youre the one I should ask you that. You look like you could beat upsomeone or something.

Sam was already giving room for conversation. Maybe this is okay, havingsomeone from the past he could talk to. So he scooted his stool closer andstarted opening up.

Allison just ditched me. I think the look explains everything.

Allison? Allison Grant from high school?! I knew you and her had a thing inhigh school but I didnt know youre still together. Ambers eyes widened andstared at her bottle long enough.

Yes. Anne Frank with the braces. Nah, we werent anymore, actually. I justsaw her recently from the reunion and I asked her out for dinner.

God. I couldnt imagine what I did to her.

Are you kidding me? She hated you. She hates me. Now I dont have any ideawhat to do anymore.

Give her space dude! Shes probably just shocked or something.

Shes probably plotting her revenge against me, though. They both laughedat the thought of it. He saw the difference between the Amber then and Amber now.He couldnt be more proud.

Tell me, why did you do that to Allison? I mean come on. It wasnt somesilly prank, shes devastated.

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Thats the big question I cant really answer though but I was likeCheerzilla back then. I dont know. Sometimes people just make mistakes andpeople are different back then than what they are now. Ive been such a dick,what with all the people expecting so big of me. But Im sorry, really.Insecurities keep eating me up. She put her head on her forehead and lookedgenuinely relieved she said that out loud.

Wow, the change is pretty clear. What have you been up to? Amber nudgedhim in the arm slightly and laughed.

Im getting married, actually. Im on freelance graphic design and myfiances a photographer. We make up a good team. She presented her ringed fingerproudly and Sam saw the glint of happiness in her eyes.

Well, congratulations! Sam replied as he hugged her for support.

But dont you think its too early? Sam asked curiously.

I think theres nothing too early or too late for love, Sam. It just hitsyou and you know it. Sam and Amber shared another smile. Amber had never beenbetter. He wished he could be better than he was.

Its been getting late and Sam and Amber were getting deep with anythingunder the sun. They went out together and taxi cabs were still lining up fortraffic outside the bar.

Thanks for the company. Sam nodded and kissed Amber on the cheek.

Not a problem Sam. Piece of advice- dont give up, ever. Allisons justmaking up her mind I guess. And looking from the two of you at the reunion backthen, the way you look at each other, its rare, really. Hold on to that. AndAmber gave him a light peck on the cheek. He smiled at her and soon enough sheleft.

Sam was already looking for a taxi cab but the traffic had beenunresponsive. He squinted his eyes for clarity and as he was looking closely fromone of the cabs, there was Allison, with her window rolled down. He wasnt sureshe had been there for a long time but he was hoping Allison hadnt seen Amberand him exchanging kisses on the cheek. He tried to call after her, but she shut

her windows up and the cabs engine roared into life.

ALLISON

Allison was crying. And she had been telling herself not to because shedeserved it. She dumped Sams dinner invitation in the first place but why wasshe the one who have felt so defeated? She ducked herself on the seat of the cabwhen the driver hadnt been so helpful. He kept looking at her from the rearviewmirror asking her if she was okay and telling her itll be okay soon. She didntbelieve him.

She was exhausted. She felt like crap. It was a good thing Jenny wasnt

around when she came home, she didnt want to see her like this- mulling oversuch trivial things.

She decided to take a long bath to make herself feel better. The bubblesaccumulating in her tub were embracing her, the water warm enough she could justsleep in it. When she laid her head at the edge of the tub, her tears didnt stopfrom falling at all. So she closed her eyes instead and tried drifting off.

***

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Allison was losing focus when she went to work that day. By the time Sarahhad told her Sam came too early to pick her up the night before, with a bouquetof pink roses in hand, it only reminded her of how real everything was. That shehad been unfair to him. That she had seen him and Amber getting too cosy outsidea bar. That she had been crying all night she barely recognized herself when shewoke up. That she couldve just went to dinner with Sam.

She tried sorting out portfolios for the months issue, but writing her newarticle did no good as a distraction either. Why had she been so hard on herself?So she went out for coffee and secured a cup of Starbucks. She figured she could

escape a little from her time and take a stroll in Central Park. Central Park hadalways felt like home to her. The air was a little colder, the sun was sleepyenough it didnt burn too bright. She could see people walking their dogs and oldcouples holding hands. But it didnt look too crowded, it was peaceful in a wayshe need not explain.

Her phone was ringing, stuck deep inside her bag. When she fished for it,she was having a hard time holding the warm cup of coffee in between her otherarm. She was walking awkwardly while digging for the phone that desperately rungfor her answer. Allison wasnt looking at where shes walking and who she wasgoing to bump into when she hit a guy taking a jog and spilled half the cupscontents into his sweatshirt. Allison was profusely sorry she wiped hissweatshirt with her hands when she turned to look up at him and saw that it wasSam.

I take that back. Im not really sorry. She rolled her eyes. The past dayshad made her so cynical she kind of hated herself for it. She was already walkingaway when Sam caught her up.

Technically, you shouldnt take it back because I deserve it. Nice moveAlly, you ditching me. Huh. Sam spread his arms, proud he had something to holdagainst her.

Why would I? Youre the one getting all warm and fuzzy with Amber. Theystood apart each other and Allison gave up with the argument. She found thenearest bench and sprawled herself in it. Not so long after, Sam sat down next toher. Allison was looking farther with tears building up her eyes. She crossed herarms and hugged herself so she could protect her from him.

Ambers getting married and we just talked a little. Shes actuallythousand times better now. Shes settled. Sam lowered his eyes and played on hisfingers. The words hit Allison. Shes been the bad guy in here after all. Still,she wasnt responding. She was too afraid to speak to him.

Ally, why are we always being like this? We keep on fending off from eachother. Im trying you know, really hard here and, all this time youre being sohard on me, on yourself. Sams voice sounded soft she wanted to scoot herself inhis arms and stay there. She was deep in thought now, preparing something to sayto him. He was right.

Allison turned to look him in the eye and said, I know. And Im reallysorry. I dont know whats happening to me especially when I saw you again. Icouldnt function well I guess. But really, Sam, sorry. If you were in my place,Im sure youll act the same way. God Im so stupid. She was, truly, and justwhen she thought Sam could hate him even more, he brushed his hand on her cheekand it made her feel better.

Apology accepted. But on one condition. Sam said, making a deal.

She rolled her eyes at him and replied, Okay, what is it?

Lunch. Today. Just some hearty Shake Shack burgers and Im done. Thatsall. Sams smile was tempting, she could look at him everyday.

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Deal. Allison made up her mind and the decision, actually made her feelokay. It wasnt just okay, it was right.

SAM

Since that day, Sam had lost count of the weeks and months that have passed.He was only certain he saw Allison smile again and knowing he was the reasonbehind it made him feel definite of himself and for the both of them. Two days

ago, his mother had called him up for his fathers birthday at their beach housein Hamptons on the weekend. He wasnt sure if Allison would be able to come buthed already told his parents hed be bringing her home for them to meet. Hewanted to tell her sooner.

That night, Allison slept over at Sams. Jenny had been out recently so hefigured Allison could spend a night or two with him instead. He was getting twobottles of soda in the fridge while Allison sat on his couch, the televisionsglaring lights gleaming on her face. Sam wanted to watch James Deans A RebelWithout A Cause but Allison thought Grace Kelly reruns could do better. He smiledat the sight of Allison wearing his Pittsburgh jersey shirt two sizes bigger thanher, her feet raised on the coffee-table, arms crossed, crunching on a bowl ofpopcorn beside her.

He came in closer and sat down next to her. Then, Allison scooted over inthe nook of his arm and chest. She smelled of lavender and freshly-opened box ofsweet pastries. He wanted to kiss her so he put his lips at the top of her head,Allison pressing onto his body even more. Her eyes were pinned on the televisionbut he was more than interested in looking at her all the time.

Do you have any plans this weekend? Sam asked casually, hoping shewouldnt hear the nervousness in his voice.

Allison pulled herself an inch away from him and straightened herself tospeak. Lets see, I think Im going to edit some articles, including mine ofcourse. Oh and Ill probably sort ads to be included for the months issue, Iguess, but well see. Why have you asked?

Allison looked at him and Sam pulled his arm away from her so he could lookat her. My mom called two days ago and she told me dads celebrating hisbirthday at our beach house in the Hamptons this weekend. I figured Ill take youthere to meet them. But if youre that busy, I can just go on my own.

Her expression went blank so Sam asked, Hey, are you okay? Did I saysomething wrong?

No no no no, trust me, Im dying to go but-

But what? Sam asked.

This is the first time Im going to meet them and I dont know, Im scaredor something. What if theyll hate me? Her forehead was creased with worry, hetried to calm her down by holding her hand tight.

Are you kidding me? I already told them Im bringing you. Theyll love you,I swear. Sam reassured her, and she looked at him with full trust. She wassilent for a second, waiting for whatever response he was to receive.

What times our flight? She sighed as Sam pulled her again into anembrace.

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ALLISON

The weather in Hamptons was everything she could wish for. The sea breezewas cold despite the sun shadowing on her face. The air smelled of saltwater andbarbecues on the grill. They arrived in time for the party and she never thoughtthe Oakleys beach house was as big as a mansion. The walls were painted inivory, and the front porch, reminiscent of their house in North Carolina has awooden swing hanging beside it. The foyer was intricately decorated with a vaseof fresh flowers, the windows were opened wide as the curtains danced with thewind. When they entered, she was holding Sams hand all this time, rooting for

strength with his grip.

Guests were dressed in breezy, white clothes, ideally for the beach. Someladies have worn formal derby hats like they were attending an exclusive ranchparty, some were in maxi dresses and white polo shirts. She never thought theguests would measure up this many. Sam was holding her hand tight while he wasshaking hands with people she did not know. There was, Pam and Bennett hiscousins and his Aunts and Uncles she couldnt commit to her own memory. This isall too fast, she thought to herself.

When Sam went to grab some punch for the both of them, she was standingalone by the console at the fireplace. There were pictures of him she had funwatching. There was little Sam wrapped in a ski jacket in the alps. And there wasSam, probably as she had remembered him in sixth grade, playing with his dog. And

lies in the middle was Sam in high school with his entire family. It wasnt tooformal but they were captured purely, happily. She realized it was outside by thefront porch of the beach house that the picture was taken. His two sisters wereincredibly gorgeous and his brother looked just like his mom. His mother wasblonde, thin and statuesque, while his father, who was taller than his mom, had abrawny body. He looked strong and reputable. His hair was brunette and his eyeswere green, just like Sams. She was staring at the pictures with a smile on herface when Sam interrupted her with their drinks.

Your familys really beautiful. And so are you. She was teasing him as shegrabbed her drink from his hand.

Really? I believe thats the reason why you have fallen in love with me.She laughed at him.

Arent you an arrogant young man Mr. Oakley. His smile was somethingAllison wanted to keep for herself forever. Sam wrapped her in his arms again.

Come with me. Sam held her hand and led her to the back of the house wherethe smell of barbecue had come from. There were people eating on a table and bythe looks, it was his father who was grilling. She was trying to fix her dressand hair when his father turned to look at them.

Oh there he is! Theres my quarterback! He pulled Sam into a tight hug andpointed proudly at him for the guests to see. Hes playing for the Jets!

His dad slung his arm tightly on Sams and walked towards her. And who isthis beautiful lady youve brought with us here today?

Dad, Id like you to meet Allison my girlfriend. Allison shook his handsand couldnt contain the smile forming on her face. We went to the same highschool actually.

Went to the same high school. She tried searching for the absurdity of thatphrase but she went on to shaking hands with him instead.

Hi, nice to finally meet you. She said politely and gave into his dadswarm embrace.

Im Stan, Sams father. I didnt know you went to the same high school.

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Uh we did. Guess my looks have changed, though. And blame it on the highschool population. She was trying to sound witty but she was the only one wholaughed at what she had said.

Shes a feature and design editor for Vanity Fair dad. Sam came near herand put his arm around her instead.

Wow, such a package for a beautiful, young lady as you. Well then, makeyourself at home, okay? He smiled genuinely at her and waved the tong he washolding on his hand. Sam? Make sure our Allison heres okay, okay? You can put

your things in your room I think youre moms prepared that for ya. He soundedfunny repeating the okays in what he said. Like Allison, Sam laughed at his owndad as well. Allison thought the first meeting was fine, thinking about his mommade her feel queasy but she tried to erase it right away.

Not so long after, her mom appeared in the entrance by the back door. Shewas in a simple white sundress and her hair was tied in a loose bun. She neverlooked old or wrinkly, she was just as what Allison had seen her in the picture.

Son! God, Ive missed you! She opened her arms wide and took Sam into herembrace. Allison came in closer and fixed herself up again.

Mom, this is Allison, my girlfriend. Isnt she beautiful? Sam introducedAllison. Allison was holding her breath.

So this is the lucky girl! She is, stunning son, really. Heard yourewriting for Vanity Fair, am I right? She was too scared by his momshospitality, she was sensing something was wrong with the thought of that.

Hello, maam. Nice to meet you. Yes, I design too.

Oh please, call me Martha. And wow, that must be a joy, isnt it? Oh andSam here, told me, you went to the same high school. Just look at you two, allgrown up now, but I havent even met you before, which is quite strange,actually. Hmmm. I remember Amber, I met her and some of his friends from theteam. Silence fell at what she had said, Sam held her hand but she wanted to letgo. Martha, who broke the silence and gushed about the two of us walked away tothe grill.

The day was a blur and she hadnt seen much of his parents prior to theirmeeting. Sam helped him unpack in their room and she couldnt make up normalconversations with him after what his mother had said. That night, when theguests have left, she had dinner with Sam, Stan and Martha. Sams siblings wereaway with their families and own work that they couldnt come, but his parentswere more than glad Sam was there to celebrate it with. Allison saw how close Samwas with his parents, how at the end of the day, he had both of them to talkthings with. But why had he done it? He has a good home, a good family, a goodcharacter. Isnt that enough of a reason why he shouldnt been so cruel? She wasthinking of the past yet again but she reminded herself that she was here for Samand that he loved him more than before. And she was scared at the idea of it.

When dinner was done and the house was as still as the moonlight. Sam wassleeping soundly on the bed when Allison escaped the room, brought the moleskin

journal along with her and walked to the beach. It was freezing outside the beachhouse that her sweater and pyjamas couldnt contain the coldness of the wind. Shehugged the journal tight in her chest and looked away as far as her eyes couldgo.

The waves were quiet and the water had turned gray in color. She wasthinking things too much again, feeling lost when Sam kissed her on the cheek andsat close beside her. She smiled at him and looked down on her feet buried in thesand.

Sam? She asked him.

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Yes, love? He put his arm around her and she gave in.

What happened to us? I mean, this is the only time Ive had the courage toask you why had things been like that between us, in high school. Why?

Here we go again. I thought you forgot about that? She could feel him pullaway from her and heard the chagrin in his voice.

Can you blame me? It wasnt easy for me, you know that. You think it wasthis easy to get your hopes up too high? Do you even realize how long Ive

waited? I was exhausted, Sam. I was the only one whos waiting, always. You dontknow how hurt I was to buy some pretty dress for some stupid prom and youpromised, you promised youd come but you didnt. Your mom even met Amber beforeme. Huh. Her voice was raising and the tears were filling up her eyes.

Sam was inches far from her and his eyes were blank. It took him seconds toanswer her. I didnt have everything figured out. Come on, what were we backthen? 18? What else were we thinking? His forehead was creased and he raised ispalms in argument.

Dont ever tell me I hadnt been on those things. She mumbled, wiping thetears falling on her cheeks.

All those times I thought I was protecting you, but it was too late that Irealized I wasnt. He wasnt looking at her and his voice was already filledwith resentment.

It is. But this is too good to be true. Tell me, were you protecting me orwere you just embarrassed? She was looking at him now, the tension in her voicewas clear.

Stop, Allison. Youre just tired, lets go back to sleep. He was standingup but Allison sat still on the sand, waiting for an answer.

I was. okay! I was! His voice was louder than the waves crashing on theshore. She finally got her answer but she could not bear hearing it herself.

You know what, youve been so stuck in the past Allison. Isnt this enough,Ally? Cant now be enough for you? Cant I be enough for you? Sam was furious

she was already scared of him. Youre enough, Im sorry, she told herself.

You keep pushing people away- people who love you. Sams voice wasshuddering and she couldnt look at him that way, with tears in his eyes. Shehugged herself firmly hoping for comfort but there wasnt. There she was, ruiningeverything again.

She stood up and tried reaching out to him when Sam was already walking awaybefore she could do so.

***

Days have passed and they hadnt spoken to each other.

She wanted to make a phone call but there was no answer. She wanted to knockon his door, and if shes lucky hed let his door open, shed kiss him. Shewanted to fix herself. She was desperate to fix everything up. When shes at workher eyes wouldnt take away on the glass doors, hoping hed arrive at any moment.When shes at home, listening to Jenny, shed stare at her phone and wait for amiracle. Shes waiting again and, this time, she was sure she couldnt wait anylonger.

The week had been such a haze she busied herself with work instead. Shedstay up late writing, proofreading, goggling her eyes at the computer screentrying to make the best kind of art she wanted the magazine to be. And another

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week has passed and the magazine was released for over a million copiesdistributed to certain parts of the world. The temporary fulfilment she had feltmade her forget him. But not entirely. She was still questioning herself on whatthey already are. Is she nothing to him now? Because what she clearly wants, morethan ever, is to be his everything. She had blamed him for being too late, but intruth, she wasshe was the one catching up the train that had already left.

SAM

Sam was too dead beat to open the door. The persistent knocking was alreadyannoying him so he chose to open it instead. He stood for a second in front of itto prepare himself, twisted the knob and there she was Allison, standing in frontof him.

Neither both of them had spoken but he led her to sit on the couch. As shesat by herself, she was biting her lip and staring down on her lap. He didntwant to talk if the conversation would only end up as an argument. He wasstanding in front of her and put his hands on his pockets.

Can we talk? She said as the sound of her voice was shaking. He nodded asa reply. He couldnt bring himself to utter a single word.

Can we fix things, please? Ive screwed up and Im sorry. I do. I love youSam, I would never dare lose you again. She pleaded, standing up close to him,her blue eyes piercing into his green eyes. She was already crying.

I hope its that easy. I dont even think this is right anymore. He saidwith the most serene fury in his voice.

Then marry me. She asked him, holding his face in her hands. He wasntlooking at her but he wanted to.

Youre impulsive, Allison. And then what, youre going to remind me againof the past? Youre going to find a way that theres something wrong with what Ihave for you? He put away her hand that was holding his face.

I wont. She looked at him again for a moment, sniffing the tears stuck

inside her. She grabbed her bag, pulled out her journal and handed it to him.

Take this. I hope youre just dazed or what. And if youve made up yourmind or finally got everything figured out, return it to me and meet me atCentral Park. On sunset. Tomorrow. Ill wait. Because I wont get tired of you, Ijust hope you wont, with me. He could barely understood her with what she hadsaid. He didnt take the journal but she dropped it on the coffee-table belowhim. He slumped on the couch, stared at the journal and watched Allison shut thedoor behind her.

ALLISON

That was the most reckless thing that she had ever asked of him, butalthough it was impulsive, she couldnt be more sure of it. Alone, she wassitting on a bench as she watched the sky monochrome into a shade of pink andblue, until it went indigo. The day was closing in on her. She was not expectinghe would come, but she was terribly hoping, holding on to the butterflies in herstomach that maybe, just maybe, hell be there.

She have been so blinded in the past she couldnt see the love he was givinghim. She thought everything was alright when she chose to push people away. Shethought being cautious had protected her, but it only put herself and the peoplethat mattered, in danger.

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She looked at her watch and enfolded herself as a cold wind had passed herby. The sky was getting dark and the streetlights had been lightened up but therewas still no sign of Sam. She decided to wait a little longer, feeling uneasy.But what if he wont arrive? She asked herself. She wouldnt want to know theanswer.

On the benches beside her, people had started to leave and she thought aboutthat maybe, it was time for her to leave too. Maybe it was time to let him go.Maybe it was time shed forget about the past and forget about Sam now. But shehad only loved him. It hurt to love. someone that you can already hate yourself

for it. She took another glance at her watch and sighed heavily. Time to go,Allison, she told herself and started leaving.

Marry Me. Allison was brought to a halt. Someone was panting behind her,shouting something she knew whose voice it owned. Slowly, she turned to itsdirection and Sam was standing behind her, holding her journal, gasping forbreath.

I thought youd never come. Thought youd never ask. She said as she wascoming up to him, close enough she could kiss him.

Who am I to refuse? He smiled crookedly, and Allison was lost in thosegreen eyes she hadnt forgotten.

-END-

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when they met again by alve aranton

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