when the unthinkable happens finding a path to …...when the unthinkable happens... finding a path...
TRANSCRIPT
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WhentheUnthinkableHappens...FindingaPathtoHealingAfteraMurder/Suicide:
ASurvivor’sPerspective
StephanieWillard,LAcJanaDeCristofaro, LCSW
TheDougyCenterforGrievingChildren&Families
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● Inagenuinemurder/suicide,boththesuicideandmurderoccurasafunctionofasinglecontinuousprocess.■ Thomas Joiner
DefinitionofMurderSuicide
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Thereisnocomprehensivenationaldatabaseortrackingsystem
Estimates:● 1,000-1,500murder-suicidedeaths/year● 46%ofmurder-suicideeventsinvolve3ormorehomicidevictims
● 11-12murder-suicideevents/weekintheU.S.● Gunsareusedin92%ofevents
Source:ViolencePolicyCenterAmericanRoulette:Murder/SuicideintheUS(2015)
Murder-SuicideStatistics
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Statisticscontinued
• 94%ofperpetratorsaremale
• 70%ofthehomicidevictimsarewomen
• 14%ofthevictimsarechildren
• 72%ofmurder/suicideeventsinvolveanintimatepartner
• 81%ofeventsoccurinthehome
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● Mentendtokilltheirchildrenandintimatepartnerspriortotheirownsuicidedeath
● Womentendtokilltheirchildrenandthemselvesbutsparetheirpartner
● Adults55+haveamurder-suicideratetwiceashighasyoungeradults
Statisticscontinued
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Children’sExpression
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● Multipledeaths
● Socialisolationbecauseofthestigma
● Fearfortheirsafety
● Challengeofmakingsenseofasenselessact
ComplexityofMurder-SuicideforChildren
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● Intenseandinvasivemedia,communityknowledge
● Howtogrievesomeonewhokilledotherfamily
● Guiltfornotprotectingandpreventingact
● Intenseemotions– fear,rage,revenge
ComplexityofMurder-SuicideforChildren
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● Whowillcareforthem?
● Everythingmightchange
● Howtocomprehend?
● Stigmaofbothamurderandasuicidedeath
ImpactonChildren
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● Howtogrievethesuicidedeath
● Emotional&physicalimpactofwitnessing/experiencingtrauma
● Themediacoverageisintenseandaddscomplexity
ImpactonChildren
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● Feelingsofabandonmentandguiltfornotprotectingthepersonwhowaskilled
● Angerorragetowardsthepersonwhokilledtheirfamilymember
● Anxietyorisolationhardtofindotherswhounderstandtheirsituation
ImpactonChildren
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Lisa,3Dadshotmomandthenhimself
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Jaimie,10Momshotdadthenherself
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Steve,14Brotherkilled2strangers,thenkilledhimself
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Children’sExpression
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● Shame&guilt
● Anger&rage
● Fear
● Hypervigilance
● Trauma– PTSD
CommonReactions
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● Confusion
● Changesinsleep/eating/behaviors
● Isolation
● Relief
CommonReactions
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● Behonestaboutwhathappened
● Limitexposuretomedia
● Createasenseofsafety
● Grieve&remembereveryonewhodied
● Makeroomforallemotions
HowtoSupportChildren/Teens
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● Provideroutinesandchoices
● Offersupport- tangible,emotional
● Beawareneeds– loudnoises,smells,crowds,specialdays
● Createopportunitiesforplay&creativeexpression
HowtoSupportChildren/Teens
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Children’sExpression
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StephanieWillard