What your boss really wants from you

15 Insights to Improve your relationship

Steve Arneson

Steve Arneson is an executive coach and he draws the insights for this book both from the people he coaches and also talking to the bosses.Steve worked for PepsiCo and Yum and is rated as one of the top 100 thought leaders on leadership.

Your relationship with your boss is a necessary relationship. Your boss is the most important person in your work life.

A lot of people fall into the ‘victim mode’ when it comes to the boss. They blame the boss for all their failings. These people create a story of the boss that fits their world view and this story never reflects reality.

We remember bosses who had significant impact on our careers and performance.

If you do a role for 2-3 years, it is likely you will have at least 15 to 20 bosses in your career. So, you must invest to understand your boss better.

Good bosses typically have your interests at heart, they want to develop you and are comfortable with you being a star and presenting and getting credit for good work. They push you to be seen on stage.

The best boss story has many dimensions : good direction, empowerment, feedback(positive and challenging),recognition, a mentoring relationship, and opportunities to grow and develop.

The worst boss dimensions are : poor delegation, insecurity, hiding information, no recognition, no feedback, unwilling to share the stage, hogs all the limelight in any setting, no empowerment.

Study your boss

1. When is he/she most approachable?

2. What is his/her preferred management style?

3. What behaviors does he/she reward?

4. What is he trying to accomplish in this role?

5. What is he/she worried about?

6. What is his/her reputation in the company?

7. Whom does he/she respect?

8. Where is his/her influence?

9. What is his/her relationship with his/her bosses?

10. What is his/her primary motivation?

How much can you challenge your boss in group meetings. Very few bosses take candor in a meeting. Value those bosses, you will get one in your career of 20 bosses like that. It takes guts to accept the truth.

Know your boss’s preferred style of keeping up to speed ,how he works and how you can fit your style with his.

What is your boss’s truth on time? Is he punctual, does he value things to start and end on time. If a boss in unpunctual, it is difficult to manage him/her because everything gets held up. A good boss gives his people predictability by being on time.

If you have a good boss, he will have an agenda, an agenda of what he is trying to achieve at the workplace with team, with culture, with results and with the partners.

All bosses are worried about something. Do you know what your boss is worried about?

Your boss’s priorities are the most important signal of what he wants from you. If you don’t know your boss’s priorities, please study how he spends his time, that will give you enough evidence of his priorities.

If you want to know your boss’s reputation , look at him closely. Are people comfortable with him in meetings, do they look forward to the interaction with hope, pay attention to how he talks about others, how he talks about failures, these all point to integrity and reputation.

If he respects people who challenge the status quo, then he is giving you enough opportunity to push back but take it forward with an answer.

Make a list of the qualities your boss respects. You will see this play out consistently.

On a single page ,plot the relationships of your boss with people in the orgn, people outside , etc. In that list see how you can participate and play out.

Reputation is about how people see your boss and influence is about how he gets things done.

What is his relationship with his bosses, is there respect for his work ethic, his conduct? They are critical if you need to benefit from him.

There are a number of common boss motives – job security, career advancement, money, risk aversion, results, wanting to build something that lasts, desire to be popular, desire to do the right thing.

One of the best ways to determine what your boss really wants from you is to look at the relationship from his/her point of view.

How does your boss see you?

• What does he/she value about you?

• How vital are you to his/her mission?

• Where does he/she think you need to improve?

• How does she/he talk about you to others?

• What is her/his history with you?

Write down the qualities of an ideal employee that your boss looks for and measure yourself versus that list. That will give you clues to manage yourself.

Always look at how the relationship with the boss started, how it evolved and where it is now.

The most important adjustment you need to make is in your attitude towards the boss.

Your attitude towards your boss is an open book, people sense it in your body language, your tone of voice, your facial expressions and your body language.

Managing the relationship with your boss needs 51 % from you, it is not a 50-50 equation.

Building better relationships with the boss.Development Oppty Attitude adjustments Visible behaviors

Aligning and sharing the boss’s objectives

Look at your own style and insecurities.Build trust with the boss by being open and truthfulSupport the boss and his plan

Stop endless debatesAlign with the workDemonstrate that you are fully on board

Move the relationship to a better future

Stop creating the wrong story about your bossImproving the relationship is 51 % my responsibilityOthers notice my attitude towards the boss, I need to be conscious.

Stop complaining abut the bossGet to know the boss on a personal levelTell the boss your true feelings

Become a positive supporter

My success is tied to his/hers. I cannot be successful without his/her success.

Spend time with the boss in non pressure situationsGive him both positive and balanced feedback.Be public in your support and not superficial.

The 4 common poor boss profiles are : 1. the insecure boss, 2. the ego driven boss, 3. The control freak boss, 4. The personal career focused boss.

You have the responsibility of building the right positive equation with your boss, Go for it.