what is your growth potential?
DESCRIPTION
How to realize your full potential.TRANSCRIPT
…transitionfromwhereyouaretowhereyouwanttobe…
Whatactionhave
youtakeninthe
past30daysto
realizeyour
potential?
JenniferL.Smith, MSOD,CPC,ELI-MP
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GrowthPotentialConsulting(GPC)isaLeadershipcoaching,training,and
consultingcompany. Wepartnerwith smartpeoplelikeyouwhowantto
havegreatersuccessandrealizeyourgoals.
JenniferL.Smith, MSOD,CPC,ELI-MP
LeadershipEffectivenessCoach&Consultant
732-207-7922
www.GrowthPoten�alCons.com
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MasteringYourLife
WhatHold’sUsBack
LimitingBeliefs
Assumptions
Interpretations
Gremlins
“I believethateveryonehasgreatnesswithinthem.“
TableofContents
SummarizingtheBig4
AnabolicandCatabolicChoice
AnabolicandCatabolicLeadership
AreYouLivingInSyncWithYourValues
TheImportanceofFollow-Through
Using“And”inPlaceof“But”
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MasteringYourLife
Whatisamaster?
Itissomeonewhoresonateswithsuccess.It'sapersonwho'smindsetautomaticallyattracts
therightpeople,places,events,andopportunities.Thissamemindsetallowsthat personto
jumpalloverallofthoseopportunitieswithgusto,andwithoutfearorhesitation.
Ibelievethatwhileeachofuscandomanythingswell,thereisreallyonlyonethingthat
wecantrulymaster,andironically,whileittakesalotofefforttobecomeamasterin
whatyoudo,thereisnorealeffortnecessaryinthethingwecantrulymaster,which
is beingwhoweare.
Eachofushasaveryuniquemakeup.Thatmakeup,atitscore,isperfect! So,whenwe
tapintoourtruecore,ourrealgifttotheworldisrevealed.Whenyoushareyourtruegift
withtheworld,youcanbeconsideredaSelf-Master.
Self-Masteryismadeupof3parts:
1. Understandingthateachofushas
auniquegiftofferingtotheworld,
andthatsuchanofferingcomes
whenwearetrulyauthentic.
2. Discovering(remembering)what
exactlyisourtrulyauthenticself.
3. Sharingwhowearewiththe
world,inawaythatonlywecan.
It'snot what youdothatmatters,norasmuch how youdoit.
Masteryisaboutknowing who youreallyare,andhowyouexpressthatinwhatyoudo.
Soinsteadoftryingtobetteryourselfto.inallybeataplaceofdeservedness,whynot
relax,andinsteadlookwithinto.indthatwhichyouwerereallyseeking?
Self-Masterymeanslivinganabundant,ful.illed,andenjoyablelife.Itmeansfeelingin
controlwithouthavingtocontrolanythingoranyone.Asamaster,itmeansyouareatthe
cause,insteadoftheeffectofyourlife.
Self-Masterymeansresonatingatahighfrequencyofenergy,andattractingallyoucould
everwantinto yourlife,and...withlittleornoeffort.Imaginelivingthisway.
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Whatcanyoucreateifyouattractedallthatyouwantinlife?
Ibelievethateachofusareleadersinourownway whichcanmean thatour Self-Mastery
leadstoLeadershipEffectiveness!
Goingforward,we'lllookatmanythingsthatgetinthewayofdiscoveringandsharing
ourtrueselves. Onebyone,we'llidentifythoseobstacles,limitations,andchallengesand
revealthemforwhattheyare...distractionsthatcanberenderedpowerlessthrough
awarenessandSelf-Mastery.
We'llhelpyoutotransformandmoldyourworldintoallthatyoudesire,torevealyour
unlimitedpotential.
“Youwillneverhaveagreaterorlesserdominionthanthatoveryour-
self...theheightofaman'ssuccessisgaugedbyhisself-mastery;thedepth
ofhisfailurebyhisself-abandonment....Andthislawistheexpressionof
eternaljustice.Hewhocannotestablishdominionoverhimselfwillhave
nodominionoverothers.”
― LeonardodaVinci
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WhatHoldsUsBack
Whatholdsusbackfromlivingtheliveswedesire?
Somepeopleattributethelackofhavingwhattheywanttofate-thattheirlivesare
somehow"meanttobe"thewaytheyare.
Whatiftheconceptoffatedoesnotexist?
Ifwecanbelievethattobetrue,aconceptcalledself-fatehelpsexplainwhysomanyof
usdon'thavewhatwereallywant.
Self-fateistheideathatbecauseourpastisdominatingourthoughtprocesses,andmost
peoplearenotconsciouslylivinginthe
moment,ourpastactuallycreatesourfuture.
Whenwemakechoicesbasedonourpastexperiences,wecannotchangeourfuture
unlessthecontrolofthepastisremoved.Wehavepre-determinedchoicesthatweare
programmedtomake,andourpastdoestheprogramming.
Thinkaboutaleaderwhohasexperiencedcolleagueswhohavenotfollowedthrough
onadecisionthathehasmadeorbeingquestioned/challengedinmeetingsorhaving
decisionsreversedbyhismanager.Thisleadercanbegintofeeldisrespectedandbelieve
thatnotonewilltakehimseriously.Hebeginstoquestionhisabilityandmaybelievethat
everyoneisagainsthim.
Maybeit'sawomanwhoisunhappywithherrela-
tionshipsandsaysthatsheseemstomeetthesame
kindofmenoverandoveragain.
Shecomplainsthatmenareallthesame,looking
forthesamething.Shebelievesthatshe'snevergo-
ingto.indarelationshipthatismutuallyrespectful
andserving,asopposedtotherelationshipsshe's
had,whereshe'sbeenemotionallyabused.
It'snowondershefeelsthisway,asshe'shadmany
experiencesthathavecreatedthosebeliefs.
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Theleaderandthewomanhavefeelingsthatarequitenormalbecauseoftheirpast
experiences.Becauseofthiscontinuedfrustrationandpaintheybegantoputout"victim"
energy.Andwhatistheresultofthat?Thevibrationemittedispickedupbythosewhose
energymatchesthosebeliefs:colleagueswithcertainbehaviorsormenwhowilltake
advantageofthewoman.Andso,theyactuallycreatetheirfuturerelationships,andwill
continuetodosounlesstheychangetheirsenseofself,or,whotheyareBEING,in
relationships.
So,thetraditionalconceptoffateproposesthatourlivesarepre-determinedbyanout-
sidesource.
Self-fate,however,issomethingthatwecancontrol.Wecangaincontrolby learningto
makeconsciouschoices-choicesthataremadeinthepresentmoment,withoutallthe
emotional"baggage"wecarryaround.
Youcanthinkofthatbaggageasbeingpackedinfourkindsofsuitcases-
the"Big4"energyblocksthatwecarryaroundwithusthatdictatehowweseetheworld
andthatholdusbackfromreachingourunlimitedpotential.
Leadershipgreatnessisachievedwhenwechoosehowwewanttoshowupin
relationships!Webegintoresonatewithapositive/anabolicenergywhichhelps
uscreateourdesiredoutcomesinlife.
“I'velearnedthatpeoplewillforgetwhatyousaid,peoplewillforget
whatyoudid,butpeoplewillneverforgethowyoumadethemfeel.”
― MayaAngelou
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LimitingBeliefs
Beliefscaneitherhelpyouorhinderyou.
Limitingbeliefsarethosethatholdyoubackfromsuccess.Ifyoudonotbelievesome-
thingispossible,you'renotlikelytoattemptit.Evenifyoudoattemptit,youwon't
devotemuchenergytoachievingthatgoal.
Limitingbeliefsaregeneralbeliefsabouttheworld,yourenvironment,situation,andthe
peoplearoundyouthatstandinyourway.Moreoftenthannot, alimitingbeliefisaccept-
edastruebecauseyou'velearneditfrom someoneelse,orfroman"authority,"suchas
themedia,abook,oramovie.Youassumethatit's"justthewayitis."
Hereisaclassicexampleofalimitingbelief:
Upuntil1954,itwascommonly heldthatrun-
ningamileinunderfourminuteswasimpossi-
ble.Moreover,physiologistsbelieveditwas
extremelydangerouseventoattemptit.Yeton
May6ofthatyear,RogerBannistercrossedthe
.inishlinein3minutesand59.4seconds,there-
bydisprovingthemythforever.
It'sremarkablethatBannisteraccomplishedhis
feat.Itrequiredthathecompletelyignorethe
prevailing,limitingbeliefandconstructanen-
tirelydifferentbelief
systemforhimself.
Whatotherssawasalimitation,heperceivedasopportunity.Andoncehedisprovedthe
presumedlimitsofthehumanbody,lessthantwomonthslater,anotherrunner,John
Landy,brokeBannister'srecordwithamiledashof3minutesand57.9seconds.What's
more,withinjustafewyears,dozensofrunnerswereleavingthefour-minutemarkinthe
dust.
Hereareacoupleofcommonlimitingbeliefsthatholdmanyofusback.
Howaboutyouhavetoworkreallyhardtoachievesuccess?
Orthatsuccessfulpeoplearelucky?
Orthatyouhavetohavemoneytomakemoney?
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Thereareseveralwaystochallengelimitingbeliefs.
Youcanexploretheeffectthebeliefhashadonyourlife,lookforproofofitstruth(orlack
ofproof),ormodifythebelieforaspectsofthebelieftobetterserveyou.
Simplyexaminingthebeliefwithquestionslike"HowtruedoIbelievethatis?"andthe
rhetorical"WheredidIgetthatidea?"canalsoworkremarkablywell.
Onceyouovercomelimitingbeliefs,theycannolongerholdyouback.
"Healthyleadersare...verytalentedinself-observationandself-analysis;
thebestleadersarehighlymotivatedtospendtimeinself-re)lection."
-ManfredF.R.KetsDeVries
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Assumptions
Anassumptionisabeliefthatisbasedonthepremisethatbecausesomethinghap-
penedinthepast,itisautomaticallygoingtohappenagain.
Whenchoicesaremadebasedonassumptions, thisislettingthepastcontrolthefuture.
Assumptionshold usback,becausewhen wealready"know"thatsomethingwon't
work, wemaynot considerdoingit.Evenifwedoattemptit, wewon'thavealotof
energyfororbeengagedinwhat weare doing. Thisisbecauseourbeliefisthatitcannot
work.
When weholdonto ourassumptions, wemissoutonmanypossibilities.
Imaginethisscenario:Anewsalespersonhasdone.ivesalespresentations,andnoneof
theprospectiveclientshavedecidedtobuyherproduct.Ifshemakestheassumptionthat
sheisnotgoodatdoingpresentations,thenit'sunlikelythatshe'llputherallintosolicit-
ingthem.And,evenifshedoesendupdoingone,thecatabolicenergyshebringswithher
tothepresentationmayactuallyrepelherpotentialsalesandwithoutherevenrealizing
it,shehascreatedmoreproofthatherassumptionwascorrect.
Anotherscenarioisthatduringholidayswebegintothinkaboutpastinteractionswith
familymembers.Forthosethatrequiredsigni.icantpatiencefromusinthepast, wemay
assumethat they willalwaysbethatway. So,we begintodreadattendingthefamily
dinnerbecause ofpastexperiences.
Herearesometypicalassumptions:
• IfIdon'tdoitmyself,itwon'tbedoneright.
• Myemployeesarelazyandunproductive.
• I'mnogoodatspeakinginfrontofgroups.
• NoonelistenstowhatI'msaying.
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Becauseassumptionsareprimarilybasedonpersonalexperience,theyareinternalized
andemotional,andsomewhatdif.iculttoletgoof.Delvingdeeptoremovetheemotionof
thepastexperiencemaybenecessarybeforemovingforward.
Themainquestiontoaskwhenchallenginganassumptionissimply"Justbecausethat
happenedinthepast,whymustithappenagain?"Inrelationships,whenweacceptour
familyforwhotheyareandenjoythegiftoftimewithfamilyweshiftourenergyto
becomemoreanabolic.
Wechoosetoenjoyourselves!
Overthenextmonth,whenyoujust"know"thatsomethingwon'tworkbasedon
yourpastexperience,recognizeyourassumptionforwhatitis,questionit,and
consciouslychoosetoletitgoandtotakepositiveaction.
“Assumptionsaredangerousthingstomake,andlikealldangerousthings
tomake--bombs,forinstance,orstrawberryshortcake--ifyoumakeeven
thetiniestmistakeyoucan)indyourselfinterribletrouble.Makingassump-
tionssimplymeansbelievingthingsareacertainwaywithlittleornoevi-
dencethatshowsyouarecorrect,andyoucanseeatoncehowthiscanlead
toterribletrouble.Forinstance,onemorningyoumightwakeupandmake
theassumptionthatyourbedwasinthesameplacethatitalwayswas,
eventhoughyouwouldhavenorealevidencethatthiswasso.Butwhen
yougotoutofyourbed,youmightdiscoverthatithad)loatedouttosea,
andnowyouwouldbeinterribletroubleallbecauseoftheincorrectas-
sumptionthatyou'dmade.Youcanseethatitisbetternottomaketoo
manyassumptions,particularlyinthemorning.”
― LemonySnicket, TheAustereAcademy
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Interpretations
Whenweinterpretsomething,wecreateanopinionaboutanevent,situation,orexperience.
Inessence,wecreateanexplanationandthenlookforevidencetosupportitsvalidity.
Whenwemakeaninterpretation,wedon'tevenseethatotherexplanationsexist.In
actuality,though,aninterpretationoftenrepresentsonlyoneviewpointamongthemany
thatarepossible.
Ourinterpretationsholdastrongenergeticcharge,whichaffectsouremotionsand
actions.Ifwebelieveourviewpointofaparticularsituationistheonlyexplanation,we
mightnotbeawareofanotherpointofview.Wemayendupwastingalotoftimeand
resourcesmarchingoffinthewrongdirection.Becausewedon'tseethatotherpossibili-
tiesexist,weremainstuckinourstory,andfeellikewehavenocontrolovertheoutcome.
Anexample:
Solet'ssayyougointoworkoneday,andyourbossbarelynodshello,andthengoesinto
hisof.iceandclosesthedoor.Ifyouthinkthatyourbossactedthatwaybecauseheis
angrywithyou,youmightspendthemorningwonderingwhatyoudidtogethimmad,
andyoumightbehesitanttoapproachhimwiththegreatideayou'dcomeupwithonthe
wayintowork.
Aswithassumptions,interpretationsare
personalandaresomewhatdif.iculttolet
goofandchallenge.Holdingontothemmay
seemliketheeasywayout,asfacingthem
maymoveyouintounchartedterritory.
However,challenging yourinterpretations
opens youuptoaworldofpossibilities,
literally.
Typicalinterpretationsmaysoundlike
this:
• Hedoesn'tlikeme.
• ShethinksI'mincompetent.
• Theydon'twanttofolloworders.
• Mysonisjustnotinterestedindoinghis
homework.
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Interpretationscanbedirectlychallengedbyasking:"What'sanotherwaytolookat
that?"Justrealizingthatthereareotherwaystolookatsomethinglessensthepowerof
the.irstinterpretation.
Onewaytodothisistoimaginewhatanotherindividual'sperspectiveofthesituation
mightbe.Askingforsomeoneelse'spointofviewonadif.icultsituation(eveniftheyare
notdirectlyinvolved)canbreakexistingparadigmsandopenpathwaysformoresuccess-
fulsolutions.Challengingyourselforotherstoarguethepointofviewdirectlyopposite
yourinterpretationalsoworksremarkablywelltoarriveatnewinformation,newangles,
andnewpathstosuccess.
Intheexampleofthebossabove,perhapsthereasonwhyhebarelyacknowledgedyou
wasthathejustreceivedadisturbingphonecallaboutafamilymember,orhehada
deadlinethathadtobemet...or...well,therearemanypossibleexplanations.
Whatanopportunityyou'dmissifyoudecidednottopresentyourgreatideabased
onyourfalseinterpretation.
Beforeyou"jumptoconclusions"andbelievethe.irststorythatcomestomind,consider
otherpossibilitiesthatcouldleadyoutonew,empoweringchoicesandactions.
"'Everyoneinacomplexsystemhasaslightlydifferentinterpretation.
Themoreinterpretationswegather,theeasieritbecomestogaina
senseofthewhole." ~MargaretJ.Wheatley
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Gremlins
Ifyou'renotachievingwhatyouwant,it'smostlikelyoneofthebig4energyblocksthat's
keepingyoustuck.
Previously,welookedat
• Limitingbeliefs-things thatyouacceptaboutlife,aboutyourself,aboutyourworld,or
aboutthepeopleinit,thatlimityouinsomeway;
• Assumptions-expectationsthat,becausesomethinghashappenedinthepast,itwill
happenagain;
• Interpretations-opinionsandjudgmentsthatyoucreateaboutanevent,situation,
person,orexperienceandbelievetobetrue.
Itisnowtimetoexaminethelast,butcertainlynottheleast,ofthebigfourenergyblocks.
The.inalblockwe'lltalkabout-thegremlin-isthemostdif.iculttoovercome,because
it'sthemostpersonalandholdsthemostenergy.
Whenyoureadtheword-gremlin,whatcomestomind?
Thisbarrieristhegremlinwithineveryoneofus:theinnercritic.Youknow...thatlittle
voiceinyourhead.Thevoicethattellsyounottotry,youarenotgoodenough,tonever
totakearisk,alwaystotakethesaferoad,andtocompromiseyourlifebyplayingsmall.
Whenisthelasttimeyouheardthisvoice?
Whathasitpreventedyoufromaccomplishing?
Thatvoiceisyourgremlin!
Regardlessofanyevidencetothecontrary,thegremlin'svoicecontinuestowhisper:"It
ain'tgonnahappen."Thisdebilitatingmessagebubblesupinmanyforms:"I'mnotsmart
enough,experiencedenough,andattractiveenough."Itallcomesbacktoasimpleand
quiteviciousblock:"I'mjustnotgoodenoughtocutit."
Yourgremlinishighlypersonal.Itisrooteddeeplyinsideyouandcarriesthemostin-
tenseemotionalchargeofanyoftheblockswe'veexploredbecauseit thrivesonfear.
Whenyouhearitswhispers,yourmotivationtotrywithers.Youdreadfailing,feeling
pain,andbeingembarrassed.Youcanevenbescaredofsucceedingifthegremlincon-
vincesyouthatyou'llfaileventually.
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Sowhataresometypicalgremlinsstatements?Whichof thesestatementsdoyou
hearfromyour innercritic?
• I'mnoteffective.
• WhoamIkidding,here?Ican'tdothat.
• I'mnotsmartenoughtoreallydothisjobwell.
• Idon'thaveenoughexperience.
• NoonewilltakemeseriouslyifIsharemyideas.
• Idon'tdeservegreatsuccess.
• Youdon'thavethewillpowerto continue withthat2012NewYear'sresolutionor
intention.
Beingawareofyourgremlinisthe.irststeptowardslesseningitspower.Onceyourealize
thatyourgremlinexists,giveitanidentity.Nameit-andthen,ifyou'dlike,makeiteven
morerealbydrawingit,sculptingit,orseeingitinyourmind-whateverworksforyou.In
doingthis,youdiscoverthatthegremlinisonlyapartofwhoyouare,notyourwhole
identity.Byseeingitinobjectiveterms,yousapsomeofitsstrength.
Gremlinworkcanbequiteinvolvedandismost
effectivewhenyouareguidedbyacerti:iedcoach
yetbelowaresomestepsyoucantaketo"tackle"
yourgremlin:
• Nameyourgremlin.Itisbesttonotusethename
ofafamilymemberorpersonthatisinyourlife.
• Keepalog/journalhowoftenyourgremlin
speaksandwhatitsays.
• Whenyouhearthevoicecallitbynameand
speaktoitsaying"youareonlyasmallpartof
whoIam."
Forthenextmonth,keepajournalofwhenyourgremlinspeakstoyou.
Eachtimeitdoes,challengeyourselftoshiftyourperspectiveandseejusthowMUCH
MOREpositiveenergyyouwillhave!
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SummarizingtheBig4
Asyouthinkabouttheintentionsyousetforresolutionsorgoals,whatpreventsyou
fromachievingthem?
Whatblocksyoufrommovingforward?
Bynowyouhaveprobably.iguredoutthatit'stheBig4!
AsyourecalltheBig4are:
• Gremlins
• Assumptions
• Interpretations
• LimitingBeliefs
BrianTracysays"controlyourattention.Lifeisverymuchastudyofattention.Whatever
youdwelluponandthinkaboutgrowsandexpandsinyourlife."
TheBig4aredistractions.
Theygrabyourattentionandblockyoufrombelievinginyourself,trustingyourintuition,
goingforthatideathatnooneelsebelievesin,havingthe.inancialwealththatyou
deserve,enjoyingrelationshipswithpeoplethatareinyourlife,andhavingpeaceof
mind.
Sonowisthetime,today,tosetanintentiontochoosemoreempowering
andself-lovingthoughtswhentheseblocksbegintocreepoutyoursuit-
caseandintoyourmind.
Imaginealifeofchoosingpeaceofmind.
What'smostexcitingaboutthisisweallhavecontroloverourthoughtsandhowwefeel
aboutthingssowhenwechangeourentireperspective...wecancreatea"newreality"
thatmovesusinthedirectionofourdreams.
SustainingthePathtoYourDesiredSuccess
Whensomethinghappens(adiscussionwhereyoufeltangryorhurt,aninteractionwith
afriendorcolleaguewhichquestionedyourability,amissedpromotion,aperformance
reviewthatindicatedsomethingyouwerenotexpecting)youcanusethefollowing
processtohelpguideyoutomoreempoweringthoughts.
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Thoughtsin.luencefeelingswithresultinactionorinaction.
So,askyourself:
Step1: Whathappened?Simplydescribethefactswithoutincludingthoughtsorfeel-
ings.
Step2:WhatthoughtsamIhavingaboutthissituation?
Step3: Arethesethoughtscomingfromaninterpretation,assumption,limitingbe-
liefsoroneofmyGremlins?
Step4:Howdothesethoughtsmakemefeel?
Now,refertoandanswerthequestionsinpastnewslettersabouttheBig4.Thiswillhelp
youworkthroughyour"suitcases." Tosupportyouthroughouttheprocess,Irecommend
surroundingyourselfbypositivity(anabolicpeopleandmessages).
Thiscanbeaccomplishedinanumberofways:
• Talkwithoneofyourfriendswhoisverysupportiveofyou.Share whatyoudiscov-
eredwhenaskingthe4questions.Theymayevenbecomeyouraccountabilitypart-
nerinmovingforwardwithyourplan.
• ReadbooksorlistentobooksonCD. Afewsuggestionsare:
1. EnergyLeadership
2. TheMasteryofLove:APracticalGuidetotheArtofRelationship
3. DeepChange:DiscoveringtheLeader Within
4. TheSecretofAttractingMoney
• Reachouttoamentorwhosupportyouorconsiderengagingacoachwhocanpro-
videan"outsiders"perspectiveusingtechniquesthatsolicittransformational
change.
• Ifyouarereligiousorspiritual,theremaybesomeonewithinyourcommunitythat
canbesupportive.
Thegoalistosurroundyourselfwithsupportive,positive(anabolic)peopleand
minimizenegative(catabolic)in:luences.
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AnabolicandCatabolic Choice
Manyofuswalkaroundfeelinglikewehavelimitedchoicesinmanyaspectsofourlives.
Takenoticeofhowmanytimesadayyousaythewordshaveto,should,andneedto.
Wheneveranyofusfeellikewemustdosomething,we'reinLevel1energy-avictimto
ourthoughtsorcircumstances.
Someofyoumaybethinking:IhavetogetmyworkdonebecauseifIdonotIwillnotre-
mainemployedortheywon'tlikeme.Howoftenhadyousaidsomethingsimilarandthen
hadfeelingsoffrustrationordissatisfactionafterwards?
Infact,whenfacedwithataskorsomethingtodo,therearefourbasicwaystorespond,
andofthem,onlyoneisbyfullconsciouschoice.
Thefourwaysofrespondingare"Ihaveto,""Ineedto,""Iwantto,"or"Ichooseto."
Whensaying"Ihaveto"dosomething,themindisthinkingthatyouhavenopower,life
justhappens,nomatterwhatyoudoorbelieve."Havingto"completethetaskcreates
thoughtsandfeelingsthatyouwillexperiencedireconsequencesifthetaskisnotcom-
pleted.Youfeelforcedtodoitandthatyouhaveverylittletonochoice.
Thesecondresponse,"Ineedto"isamorepowerfulplacetocomefrom.Here,you're
awareofyourchoicesandyouseekto.indtheopportunityinthechallengespresented.
Thisperspectivebringsmorechanceofsuccess,butit'sstillcatabolic,becauseyoudon't
feelfullyatchoice.
Sothesetworesponsescreateeithernoactionoractionbyforce.Sinceyouarenotener-
geticallyboughtintoasituation,goal,orprojectcatabolicenergyisbroughttoit,itbe-
comesarecipeforlackofengagement,frustrationwithjoborrelationships.Sointhese
cataboliclevels,
Thenextresponse,"Iwantto,"isanabolic,becauseitbeginstheindicationofbeingat
choice.But,"want"stillcomesfromaplaceoflackeventhoughitmayfeellikechoosingto
dosomething.
Themostpowerfulresponseis "Ichooseto." Whenrespondingthisway,youbelievethat
youhavecompletechoice.Thiscreatesanempoweringfeelingaswellasaconnectionbe-
tweenwhoyouareandwhatyoudo.
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Example
Jane's2012NewYear'sresolution(intention)istoexercise3timesaweek.Shebelieves
she"hasto"dothisbecauseit'stherightthingtodo.Well,byweek3shewasalready
losingmomentumbecauseshecamefromaplaceoflittlechoice.Whatcanshedo?By
shiftingtoaplaceof"Ichooseto"becauseoneofhervaluesistobehealthy,Janenowhas
anabolicenergyaroundexercising.Thisunleashesmotivation!
Whatcanyoudo?
Youcan comefromaplaceofhavingeverythingandchoosingtoexperience,ratherthan
.illaneed.Whenthesethoughtscreepintoyourmindorslipoutofyourmouth,challenge
yourself.Askthequestion:doI"haveto"dothisoramIchoosingtodothisbecauseby
havingajobIcanpaymybillsorcareformyfamily?
Remember,ourthoughtsdriveourfeelingswhichyieldeithernoactionoraction.
Howmightcomingfromaplaceofchoicemorequicklymoveyoutowardsgreater
success?
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AnabolicandCatabolic Leadership
Howwellyouleaddependsonyourlevelofconsciousness,orenergy.Higherlevelsofan-
abolicenergyareassociatedwithmoreeffectiveleadership.
Ananabolicleaderleadsbecausetheyfeelempowered.Onede.initionofleadis"togobe-
foreorwithtoshowtheway"andanotheris"toguideindirection,course,andaction"
soundssupportive,anditis. Theseleaders inspirepeoplewithwords,actions,andby
personalexample. Anabolicenergyisbuildingenergy,andwhetherintheworkplaceorat
home, greatleadersbuildrelationships,teams,families,andbusinesses.
Acatabolicleaderbelievesthattheyneedtocontrol,manipulateordemandthat people
dothings. Theyhavelittletonocon.idenceinothersandquestionthecompetencyofoth-
ers. Catabolicenergyisdestructiveandthisbehaviorbeginstocreatedysfunctionin
teamsandlackofengagement.
Remember...thefourwaysofrespondingare"Ihaveto,""Ineedto,""Iwantto,"or"Ichooseto."
Whenananabolicleaderrequestssomethingorasksforsomeone'sinputonaproject,the
personismuchmorelikelytorespondwiththeanabolic"Iwantto"or"Ichooseto."The
moreanabolictheleaderis,thegreatertheprobabilityofsuccess.
Whenacatabolicleaderdemandsthatsomeonedosomething,mostlikely,thepersonwill
respondcatabolicallywiththoughtsof"Ihaveto"or"Ineedto."Overtime,thiscanleadto
resentment.
Howmightbeingmoreanabolicbegintoaccelerateyourleadershipsuccess?
So,what'soneofthemajordifferences?Demand/commandversusrequest.
PracticalApplication
Beginassessingyourcurrentanabolicandcatabolicleadershiptendenciesbyanswering
thesefewquestions:
• HowoftendoIuselanguagesuchas"youhavetogetthisdone"or"youneedto
.inishthatprojectrightnow?"
• WhenwasthelasttimeIaskedforsomeonetoprovidetheirinputonaproject
oridea?
• Whatcausesmy"catabolic"tendenciestoshowup?
Thewordswechoosehaveasigni.icantimpactonthosewelead.Bychoosinglanguage
thatinspiresotherswewillbeginunleashtheirpotential!
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AreYouLivinginSyncWithYourValues?
Ful.illmentinlifeisrelatedtohowwellyouarelivinginalignmentwithyourvalues.Val-
uesarenotmoralsorprinciples.Theyaretheessenceofwhoyouare-notwhoyouthink
youshouldbe.
Forinstance,moneyisnotavalue,whereasthethingsthatmoneymightbuy,suchasfree
time,risk-taking,andbeingofservicearevalues.Whenyou'realignedwithyourvalues,
youfeelinnerharmony,yourchoicesaremoreeasilymade,andyouractionsareinaccord
withyourtrueself.
ValuesAlignmentIndicator
Answertrueorfalseforeachstatement toseehowcloselyyouarelivinginsyncwith
yourvalues.
1. Ihavespenttimeclarifyingmyvaluesandcaneasilyarticulatethem.
2. Myvaluesaremyown.Ihavenotsimplyadoptedthemfromparents,teachersor
otheroutsidein.luences.
3. Ibasedmychoiceofoccupationonmydeepestvalues.
4. MyvaluesareinalignmentwiththecompanyIworkfor(orown).
5. MybusinessassociatesandIregularlyexaminehowwearelivinguptoourval-
uesandmission.
6. Iturndownmoney-makingorstatus-buildingopportunitieswhentheycon.lict
withmyvalues.
7. Inresolvingdisputesatwork,Ilookbeneaththeapparentproblemtoseeifval-
uesarebeingdishonored,andthenIseekwaystohonorthem.
8. AnyonelookingatmylifefromtheoutsidewouldseewhatIvalue.
9. Iusemyvaluesasaguidepostformakingdecisions.Iaskifaparticularchoice
wouldbringmecloserto-orfurtherfrom-acorevalue.
10. WhenIfeelupset,it'salmostalwaysbecausemyvaluesarebeingtrampled-
eitherbyme,someoneelse,orthesituation.
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11. Iamnoteasilyswayedbyothers'opinionswhentheycon.lictwithmyvalues.
12. Toremainopenand.lexible,Iamwillingtore-examinemyvaluestodetermine
whethersomethingisstilltrueforme.
13. I.indcreativewaystohonorallofmyvalues-evenwhentheycon.lictwithone
another.
14. Myworkvaluesareinharmonywithmypersonalandrelationshipvalues.
15. IfIliveaccordingtomyvalues,Iwillfeelsatis.iedandsuccessfulthroughoutmy
life.
PracticalApplication
Whatareyourtop5values?
Ifyouansweredfalsemoreoftenthantrue,youmaywishtoclarifyyourdeepestvalues
andbringyourlifeintogreateralignmentwiththem.
Howmightmakingchoicesthatalignwithyourvaluesaccelerateyourleadership
success?
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TheImportanceofFollow-Through
Whetheryou'relearningtoswingagolfclub,baseballbatortennisracquet,coachesal-
waysemphasizetheimportanceoffollow-through.It'snotjusthittingtheballthatmat-
ters,it'showyoucontinueyourswingoncecontactismade.
Thesamethingappliesinjobinterviews,clientmeetings,networking,salesandalmost
anyworksituation:withoutpurposefulfollow-throughonyouractionsandinteractions
withothers,youwon'treallybeabletoreachyourpotential.
"Failuretomeetdeadlines,honorcommitments,monitorstaff,returncallsandkeep
trackoflong-termprojectsisthemostunderratedcauseofchaosandfailureinbusi-
nesslife,"writesStephanieWinstoninOrganizedforSuccess.
Sooftenwefeelwe'vecompletedataskbecausetheactionofitis"done,"butweunder-
emphasizehowpowerfulitistocontinuedeveloping,trackingandmonitoringoperations
andrelationshipsevenafterthey'vebeensetinplace.AsLarryBossidyandRamCharan
noteinExecution:TheDisciplineofGettingThingsDone,"Follow-throughisthecorner-
stoneofexecution,andeveryleaderwho'sgoodatexecutingfollowsthroughreligiously.
Followingthroughensuresthatpeoplearedoingthethingstheycommittedtodo,accord-
ingtotheagreedtimetable."
It'sNotJustWhat,ButHow
Whenwethinkoffollow-through,wetendtothinkoftakingaction.Butalargepartoffol-
low-throughisabout.irst.iguringout how thingswillbedone.Howoftendoyou
rush righttoactionversusspendingsometime"thinkingthroughthings?"Onceyoude-
.ineyourgoals,setasidesometimetodecidejusthow youwillreachthem.Whatsteps
willbeneededtoaccomplishthem?Whowilldowhichstepsandwhen?Whatisthede-
siredtimeline?Ifastrategy,project,idea doesnotaddressthe hows,itisalmostcertainly
willbemoredif.icultthanitneedstobeandtakelongerthandesired.
Takemeetings,forinstance.Aplanforfollow-throughshouldbedetailedattheendof
everymeeting.
"Never/inishameetingwithoutclarifyingwhatthefollowthroughwillbe,whowill
doit,whatresourcestheywilluse,andhowandwhenthenextreviewwilltakeplace
andwithwhom,"BossidyandCharansuggest.
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Organizing
Agoodorganizationalsystemwillsupportfollow-throughmorethanalmostanything.If
youareamongtheorganizationallychallenged, choosetodo oneoftwothings:
1. Getthingsinorder.Buyanorganizationbook,reserveaweekendoraweek,and
likeNikesays"justdoit."Getorganizedonceandforall.You'renotlikelytofollow
throughwell,ifatall,whenthedisorganization gremlin hasholdofyou.Gettingor-
ganizedisoneofthebiggestkeystosuccess;notdoingsoisanextremelycommon
andmostunfortunateformofself-sabotage.
2. Hiresomeonetoorganizeyouandkeepyouthatway.Theinvestmentwillpayfor
itselfwhenyoubeginfollowingthroughmoreconsistently.
Youknowyourselfwellsoifyouhavetrieddoingthisyourselfbeforeandbecomeover-
whelmed,obtainhelp.
PracticalApplication
Forthenextmonth,monitoryourfollow-through. Ifyounoticethatyouarestruggling
withfollowing-throughonsomethings,makenotesin ajournalornotebookaboutwhat
isn'tgettingdone,thoughtsaswellasfeelings youarehaving,andthetimeofday.This
willprovide greaterclarityaboutpatterns.
Howmightshiftingoneortwothoughtsresultinbetterfeelingssothatyoucantake
actiontoaccelerateyourleadershipsuccess?
First,wefocusedonthe"how." Then,westartedgettingorganizedandnowit'stimeto
discussthe.inal follow-throughtips.
Delegating
Delegatingshouldalsobepartofanorganizationalsystem."Gettingthingsdonethrough
othersisafundamentalleadershipskill,"accordingtoBossidyandCharan."Indeed,ifyou
can'tdoit,you'renotleading."Delegatingisanef.icientwaytoensurethatthegreatest
numberoftasks,includingfollow-uptasks,getdoneintheshortestamountoftime.In
otherwords,ifyouwanttobesuccessful,don'tbeafraidtodoleouttheworkloadtooth-
ers.Thekeyistoalwaysthinkintermsofthebigpictureinsteadoffocusingonlyonwhat-
evertaskisinfrontofyourfaceatthemoment.
Ihavetakenthisonetoheart! InthepastmonthImadealistofthetasks/projects
thatIhavetodoversusthosethatcanbedonebysomeoneelse.
Thiswaseye-opening!
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Ifyouaresaying,Ihavenoonetodelegatetothiswon'tworkforme…Iencourageyouto
getcreative! Dependingwhat'sonyourlist,delegatingmight involveautomatinga
processversusdoingitmanually.
TakingActionandKeepingYourWord
Whenyousayyou'lldosomething,bescrupulousinmeetingyourcommitment,whether
toaclient,supervisor,customerordirect-report.Ifyoucan'tdeliverit,don'tpromiseit.
Injobinterviewsandnetworking,rapidfollow-upcanmeanthedifferencebetweenland-
ingthejoband/orclient.Hiringdecisionsareoftenmadeveryquicklyafterinterviews.
Andgettingincontactwithpeoplesoonaftermeetingthemmeanstheywillremember
you,increasingthelikelihoodtheywilleventuallybuyfromyou.
Besuretosendathankyounoteafteryoucloseasaleorreceiveanycourtesy.Thiswill
makeyoustandoutfromtheothers,invitinganongoingrelationshiptodevelop,or
continuetodevelop.Also,ashortthank-younotegivesyouagreatexcusetoaddanything
youforgottosayinameetingorinterview,ortohighlightdetailsyouonlyglossedover.
Alltopsalespeoplearemastersatfollow-through.Lackoffollow-throughistheprimary
elementmissingwhensalesarenotkeepingpacewithleadsgenerated.Youmayhave
hundredsofleadswithagreatdealofpotential.Butunlessyoufollowthroughandactive-
lymarket/selltotheseleads,theywillnotturnintosales. Forthosewhoarenot
"salespeople,"rememberthatwe "sell'ourideas everyday.
Followingthroughaftersaleshavebeenmadealsomakesgood.inancialsense.Getting
businessfromnewcustomerscostssigni.icantlymorethansecuringadditionalbusiness
fromexistingcustomers.
Whenitcomestofollow-through,somethingisbetterthannothing.Itdoesn'thavetobe
anall-or-nothingthing.Thebestistofollow-upasfrequentlyandbestasyoucan,aprac-
ticethatcanevenaffectproductivitypositively.
"Onaday-to-daybasis,consistent,automaticfollow-throughcande/lectalotofthe
/ire/ightingthatcanpushyourdayoffcourse,"Winstonwrites.
PracticalApplication
Forthenextmonth,monitorif youcommitto morethingsthanwhatyoucanreasonably
complete. Continue writingaboutwhatyouarelearningin ajournalornotebook.
Howmightshiftingoneortwobehaviorsresultintaking actiontoaccelerateyour
leadershipsuccess?
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Using"And" inPlaceof"But"
Nothingzapsagreatideafasterthan"Yes,but...."Youmightaswellsay"No."
It'snotjustaboutsemantics.
Infact,"Yes,but"maybethenumber1phraseforkillingpersonalhope,puttinggreat
ideasonice,andthreateninginnovationinorganizations.
Example
TakeJonah,forexample.Jonahisaseniormanagerintherealestatedivisionofalarge.i-
nancialservicescompanywhenhelearnsofanopenpositioninthecompany'sprestig-
iousnew-productresearchteam.He'sbeensuccessfulintherealestatedivision,butnev-
erreallyful.illed.Whathereallylovesisthechargehegetsbrainstormingnewideasand
researchingtheirviability.
Jonahisexcitedtoapplyfortheposition-initially,thenduringaconversationwitha
friend,hesays,"Yeah,I'dbegreatforthatteam,butyouhavetoknowsomeonetoget
named."Afterthecall,he.indshimselfincreasinglydiscouraged.
Willhegettheposition?Atthisrate,hewon'tevenapply.
Luckily,Jonah'scoachpointsouthisself-defeatingself-talkandsuggestsasimple.ix.
"Yeah,"Jonahsaysagain,"I'dbegreat,andit'shardtogetonthenew-productsteamifyou
don'tknowsomeone,butI'mgoingtogiveitashot."Catchinghimselfagain,hesays,"And
I'mgoingtogiveitashot."
Heworkshardonhisresume,evenproposesapotentialproductlinefortheteamtocon-
sider,andshowsupimpeccablyforhisinterview.Jonahdoesn'tgettheposition,and
that'sokaybecauseintheprocesshe'sbecomeclearerabouthiscareergoals.He'sin-
spiredtotakesomeclassesandtodevelophisnetworkofcontacts,thusmakinghissuc-
cessmorelikelyinthefuture.
AndThinking...
Andispowerful.Andunitesopposites,opensupopportunity,createspossibilitiesthat
weren'tevidentbefore.Coupleandwithyes,andyouhaveawinningcombination.
Hereareafewmoreexamples.
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Yes,andopensuppossibility.
• Yes,Iwakeupmanymorningswithideasfornewinventions, but I'man
accountant.Ican'tquitmyjob.
• Yes,Ihavelotsofideasforinventions, and asanaccountantI'vehandled
mymoneywell.NextmonthI'mbuildingaprototypeofmymostpromising
idea.
Yes,andinvitescooperation.
• Yes,I'dlovetotelecommute, but mybossdoesn'ttrustanyoneandwould
nevergoforit.
• Yes,I'dlovetoworkfromhome, and mybosshastroubletrustinghisem-
ployees.I'lldevelopaproposalshowinghimthebene)itsoftelecommuting
andsuggestthatwetryitforamonth.
Yes,andencouragescreativity.
• Yeah,I'dlovetolivehere, but youhavetoberichtobuyahouseinthis
market.
• Yeah,Iwanttolivehere, and themarketischallenging.SoI'mseeking
unconventionalopportunitiesasIimprovemy.inances.
PracticalApplication
Everytimeyouhearyourselfsay,"Yes,but,"changeitto"yes,and." Inthatmoment,
you'rebreakingthehabitofclosedthinking.Themoreyoudoit,themoreopenyour
thinkingwillbecome.Aswithanyhabit,ittakestimetobreak.
Howmightusingtheword"and"inplaceof"but"changetheoutcomeofa
conversation?
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Turnyourdreamsintorealitybytakingactiontoday.
Doyouhavework/personalrelationshipsthatdrainyourenergy?
Areyoustrugglingwithifyouareintherightjob/position?
Areyouchallengedwithanemployeewhoisnotperforming?
Areyouleadingateamthatisnotmeeting/exceedinggoals?
Areyoureadytostartyourjourneytoachievinggreatersuccess?