what is a personal relationship with...

WHAT IS APERSONALRELATIONSHIPWITH GOD?

WWhat does it meanwhen a personclaims to have a

personal relationship with God? Would you claim that foryourself? Does anyone reallyhear from God, talk to God, or have the kind of inside trackwith Him that would justifysuch a claim? At what pointdoes claiming to be a friend ofGod amount to nothing morethan the ultimate form of name-dropping?

It is my hope that thefollowing pages will help toclarify this issue for you. None of us can afford tomisunderstand this subject,which is as basic as it isprofound.

Martin R. De Haan II

Managing Editor: David Sper Cover Photo: S. Alvarez/Adventure Photo & FilmScripture quotations are from the New King James Version, ©1979, 1980, 1982, ThomasNelson, Inc., PublishersCopyright © 1988, 1997, 2001 RBC Ministries, Grand Rapids, Michigan Printed in USA

CONTENTS

You Mean You Hear God Speak? . . . . . 2

Where Does Such AnIdea Come From? . . . . . 3

What Is A Personal Relationship With God? . . . . . . . . . . 4

A Spiritual Relationship . . . . . . . . . 5

A Christ-CenteredRelationship . . . . . . . . . 9

A Submissive Relationship . . . . . . . . 12

A Mutually-FeltRelationship . . . . . . . . 16

A Growing Relationship . . . . . . . . 20

A Shared Relationship . . . . . . . . 25

One Who Was Close . . . Yet So Far Away . . . . . 28

Making It Personal . . . . 29

Power For Living . . . . . 32

© RBC Ministries. All rights reserved.

YOU MEAN YOUHEAR GODSPEAK?

WWHAT DO YOU

MEAN THERE

IS NO GOD? IJUST TALKED TO HIM THIS

MORNING. This message borne by

a well-faded bumper stickerhas prompted a few smilesalong the way. But nottoday. One car-length back,the driver of a late-modelCadillac curses under hisbreath about being stuckbehind a sluggish Toyota inheavy traffic. He’s evenmore irritated having to eatthe fumes of a religiousfanatic. He doesn’t find thesticker funny, or cute, oreven honest. He has a hardtime with those who talk socasually about:• Meeting God• Knowing God• Hearing God• Talking to God

• Being led by GodIt’s not that the driver of

the big car doesn’t believein God. Like most people,he’s no atheist. He knowswhat the inside of a churchlooks like. His wife isreligious. And without herknowledge, he has evenasked heaven for a littleconsideration from time totime when facing a toughbusiness deal or even acritical shot on the golfcourse. Sure he prays, but he’s not about to claim that he has apersonal relationship withGod. He’s suspicious ofthose who do. He suspectsthat they are indulging inthe ultimate kind of name-dropping.

Yet in reflective moments he sometimeswonders if there’ssomething he’s missing.What could it mean to have a personalrelationship with God?

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WHERE DOESSUCH AN IDEACOME FROM?

TThe Bible doesn’t refer to a personal relationship with

God. Not in those exactwords. But it does show theimportance of learning toknow, love, and trust a verypersonal God. While youwon’t find the wordspersonal relationship in the Bible, the idea is

everywhere. Page after pagesuggests that it is who youknow that counts, and thatthe who we need to know isGod.

Jesus Himself prayed toHis Father, “This is eternallife, that they may know

You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent” (Jn. 17:3).Commenting on this verse,theologian J. I. Packerwrote, “What were wemade for? To know God.What aim should we setourselves in life? To knowGod. What is the ‘eternallife’ that Jesus gives?Knowledge of God. . . .What is the best thing in life, bringing more joy,delight, and contentmentthan anything else?Knowledge of God”(Knowing God, InterVarsityPress, Downers Grove,©1973, p.29).

Many centuries earlier,the prophet Jeremiahquoted the Lord as saying,“Let not the wise man gloryin his wisdom, let not themighty man glory in hismight, nor let the rich manglory in his riches; but lethim who glories glory inthis, that he understandsand knows Me” (9:23-24).

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While the wordsmay not be in theBible, the idea is

everywhere.


WHAT IS APERSONALRELATIONSHIPWITH GOD?

IIn the following pages we’ll see that a relationship with God

has many of the samecharacteristics that mark a personal relationshipbetween two friends. Thesefactors include some degreeof:• Mutual recognition—

each knows the other.• Mutual openness—each

approaches the other.• Mutual interests—each

shares with the other. • Mutual respect—each

honors the other.Such a relationship

means more than knowingof or about someone. Wemight say that we know thegovernor of New York. Butif the chief officer of thatstate can’t pick us out of a

crowd, if we can’t get access to him, or if he hasnever shared our thoughts,feelings, and decisions, thenwe are claiming a friendshipwe don’t really have.

A relationship with Godis similar. If our friendshipis real, we will welcomeGod into our lives. Ouractions will show webelieve He is the kind ofperson we want in ourhomes, in our plans, in ourlaughter, and in our tears.

With these possibilitiesin view, let’s take a closerlook at the marks of apersonal relationship withGod.

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A relationship with God is more,

but not less, than any otherrelationship.


A SPIRITUALRELATIONSHIPThere are those who saythey have encountered God visibly, heard Himspeak audibly, and felt Histouch physically. Suchexperiences are possible.Both Old and NewTestaments are marked by miraculous, life-changingencounters with God (Isa. 6:1-8). He has shown, through the pagesof Scripture, that He is freeto reveal Himself in anyway He chooses.

These supernaturalencounters, however, werethe exception rather thanthe rule. While prophetslike Isaiah, Moses, andEzekiel had life-changingvisions of God, they did notspend the rest of their lives

teaching others to havesimilar experiences.

In some ways it wouldbe nice to believe that arelationship with Godmeans experiencing theshaft of light pictured onthe front of this booklet. But as a rule, the truth isfar less dramatic.

To meet God doesn’tmean we have to seeHim visibly. We don’tneed to wait for visions orlife-changing dreams. Wecan encounter God with theeyes of our understanding.Because He is an all-powerful, ever-presentSpirit, He can revealHimself to us at a deeperlevel than our physicalsenses. The One who madethe world is more than ableto give insight aboutHimself to anyone whowants to know the truth in order to do it (Jn. 7:17;Eph. 1:17-18). He can alsowithhold light from thosewho are more interested in

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GOD

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SPIRITUAL


avoiding the truth than infinding it.

To hear God doesn’tmean we have to hearHim audibly. There aretimes when we might wishGod would break thesilence and whisper in ourear. Or maybe we’re gladHe doesn’t. In either case,it’s not necessary for Him to do so. If we hear onlysilence, it is our own self-imposed silence.

For those who want tohear, God can be heardspeaking constantly throughthe timeless wisdom of HisBook. There and throughnature (Ps. 19:1-11), He isalways talking to us.

Our problem usually is not that God is notspeaking, but rather thatwe’re not sure we want tohear what He has alreadysaid.

For that reason, we needto take seriously the wordsof the author of Hebrews,who wrote, “Therefore, as

the Holy Spirit says: ‘Today,if you will hear His voice,do not harden your heartsas in the rebellion’” (3:7-8).Our opportunity to hearHim on every page of theBible is a privilege thatcarries a great degree ofresponsibility.

To be close to God isnot a matter of location.It is common to think thatwe must go to church tomeet God. That makessense. We meet friends atpredetermined times andplaces. Yet, while God doesuse scheduled services andaddresses, He is not limitedto them. He promises to

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The God whomade the worldhas no troublebeing seen and

heard by those whohonestly want to

know Him.


meet us in places of theheart. He wants us to makeour hearts His home.

James recognized thiswhen he said, “Draw nearto God and He will drawnear to you” (Jas. 4:8). Hedidn’t say anything aboutwhere to go. He didn’t tellus to find the highest hill inour area, or a quiet churchsanctuary. Instead, Jamestold us to humble ourselvesbefore the Lord (4:10). Hegave us reason to believethat wherever we seek Him,the Lord will meet with usthere.

David, the songwriter,king, and “man after God’sown heart,” shows us why this is true. Deeplyhumbled by the Lord’sconstant, unavoidablepresence (Ps. 139:1-6), heprayed:

Where can I go from YourSpirit? Or where can I fleefrom Your presence? If Iascend into heaven, Youare there; if I make my

bed in hell, behold, Youare there. . . . If I say,“Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” even thenight shall be light aboutme; indeed, the darknessshall not hide from You . . . . When I awake, I am still with You (Ps. 139:7-8,11-12,18). Nearness to God is not

an issue of location. It is amatter of whether we haveplace in our hearts for Him.

To know God is not a matter of knowing allabout Him. That might bethe greatest understatementof all. To know God is notto master Him. At best, wecan exclaim with theapostle Paul:

Oh, the depth of theriches both of the wisdom

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God is as close as a humbled

heart.


and knowledge of God!How unsearchable are Hisjudgments and His wayspast finding out! “Forwho has known the mindof the Lord? Or who hasbecome His counselor?”(Rom. 11:33-34).Given the limitations of

life, our minds can barelybegin to grasp the meaningof words that describe God—

words like eternal, infinite,all-powerful, all-knowing,and everywhere-present. Yet,because He has made itpossible to know Him, wecan begin a process ofdiscovery now that will never end.

We can know Godbecause He has come to us,on our terms, to invite us to

Himself on His terms.According to eyewitnessesof the New TestamentGospels, God revealedHimself to us in a personwho walked on water,controlled the skies, healedwithered limbs, restoredsight, and stopped bleedingsores. He fed thousandswith a small amount offood, drove out demons,raised the dead, loveddeeply, and taught wisely.

Living a sinless life, Hefulfilled Old Testamentpredictions, claimed to bethe promised Messiah, andsacrificed His own life tosecure forgiveness of sinsfor all who would trustHim. It was this person,known ever since as Jesusthe Messiah, who said, “Hewho has seen Me has seenthe Father” (Jn. 14:9).

So, according to theBible, not only is a personalrelationship with God aspiritual relationship, it is aChrist-centered relationship.

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Those who meet God now

will have eternity to get to know

Him.


A CHRIST-CENTEREDRELATIONSHIPMediators often play animportant role in helping to resolve family, labor, and legal disputes. Whenemotions flare, insight islost, communication stops,and stubbornness sets in.In such instances, anarbitrator can often bringrenewed perspective and aplan for resolution.

The ultimatemediator is Christ.Nowhere is a personal go-between more neededthan in resolving the conflictand estrangement betweenman and God. Our personalsin has dug out a chasm sodeep and wide that it isimpossible for any of us to“cross over” to God on ourown. Without a mediator,

we can never overcome thealienation of affection anddisruption of communicationthat have come between us.

God is in some ways likea parent who watches hisrunaway son or daughterbecome hopelesslyentangled with the law. As much as the parentwould love to wrap hisarms around the child andbring him home, he can’t.The law has to be satisfied.Justice must be carried out.A debt to society must bepaid and a law must beenforced. For such a need,Christ has come to mediatepeace between ourselvesand God (1 Tim. 2:5).

Words cannot do justice to the importance of the mediating role ofChrist. Without Hisintervention on our behalf,we could never resolve our differences with God(Jn. 14:6). Without theurging of His loving Spirit,we would never want to.

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GOD

MAN

SPIRITUAL

CHRIST-CENTERED


Jesus deserves ourunending appreciation,admiration, and affection.When He wiped out our debt to the law byabsorbing our punishment,He proved Himself to be afriend without equal. WhenHe rose from the dead to belife and help to all whotrust Him, He gave us abasis for undying hope.When He ascended to theFather’s right hand tointercede for us and to actas our personal advocate,He assured that He wouldprovide for us what no merereligion or system of beliefcould ever offer. He hasgiven Himself to be thesolution to our everyproblem, to reveal God tous, and to lead us to apersonal relationship withHis Father.

Christianity is Christ.As W. H. Griffith Thomaspoints out in a book by thattitle, this is the real heart ofour Christian faith. We

have not been called to asystem of laws, traditions,and inspirational ideas. We haven’t been called tothe church, to a moralcause, or to the golden ruleof Christian love. We havenot even been called to theBible. We have been calledto Christ, the mediatingperson of whom the wholeBible speaks.

The apostle Paulunderstood the necessity of a Christ-centeredrelationship with God. In 1 Corinthians 1:1-9, hemade it clear that he wasnot promoting a system of

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“Everything weknow of God,

and everything weneed from Him, is deeply affectedby our attitudetoward Christ.”

—W. H. Griffith Thomas


ideas. He was speaking of a relationship with Godbased on:• Christ whom we serve

(v.1).• Christ who sets

Christians apart (v.2).• Christ on whose name

Christians call (v.2).• Christ who is our Lord

(v.2).• Christ who gives us

grace and peace (v.3).• Christ who brought us

the grace of God (v.4).• Christ who has enriched

us in every way (v.5).• Christ who is confirmed

by experience (v.6).• Christ for whom we

eagerly wait (v.7).• Christ who will keep us

to the end (v.8).• Christ who will have His

day (v.8).• Christ to whom God has

joined us (v.9).Paul’s obsession was not

a system of new thought, anethic, a teaching, a form ofchurch organization, or a

new program. It was theperson he had come toknow as the one mediatorbetween God and man (1 Tim. 2:5). It was theperson who had not only

died to pay for Paul’s sins (1 Cor. 15:3), but also theperson who, through HisSpirit, was living His lifethrough Paul (Gal. 2:20) andwas his very life (Phil. 1:21).

Are we as Christ-centered as Paul? Do werealize that true Christianityis found in the living personand personality of the

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“Jesus Christreceived is holiness

begun. Jesus Christ cherished isholiness advancing.

But Jesus Christreckoned as neverabsent would be

holiness complete.”—J. Hudson Taylor


resurrected Christ? Have welearned that Jesus Christ isand must be at the heart ofa personal relationship withGod? Have we realized thatno matter where we look,Christ is there?• Look back—He’s our

Creator (Col. 1:16).• Look ahead—He’s our

Judge (2 Cor. 5:10).• Look up—He’s our Savior

and Lord (Phil. 2:5-11).• Look down—He’s our

Sustainer (Col. 1:17).• Look right—He’s our

Teacher (Mt. 23:8).• Look left—He’s our

Advocate (1 Jn. 2:1).• Look within—He’s our

Life (Gal. 2:20).There is no question

that a personal relationshipwith God must be a Christ-centered relationship. It isChrist and Christ alone who can bring us to God,cleanse us from the constantpollution of the world, andbe our ever-present Sourceof life and help.

It is Christ, the livingWord, who reveals, defines, and expresses thepersonality of the Father. It is Christ who shouldcontinually be in ourthoughts as Lord and Life.It is Christ who, by HisSpirit, is a constantpresence in and with allwho have put their faith inHim (Mt. 28:19-20).

A SUBMISSIVERELATIONSHIPAny husband who iscontent to be just “one ofthe boys” in his wife’s eyesisn’t much of a husband.Neither is a woman muchof a wife if she is satisfiedto be just “one of the girls.” The intimacy of the marriage relationshipcarries with it a great sense

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GOD

MAN

SPIRITUAL

CHRIST-CENTERED

SUBMISSIVE


of mutual commitment thatwill have a bearing on all ofthe couple’s other activitiesand relationships.

For far greater reasons,the Designer of humanpersonality is also notsatisfied to be just “one ofthe gods” (Ex. 20:1-6).Yahweh, Provider andDeliverer of Israel, the Godwho came to us in Jesus theMessiah, will not accept aplace on the shelf alongsideRa, Krishna, Moon, Allah,GM, or CBS. He has alwaysbeen a jealous, possessive,commanding God. He willnot share His honor withanyone else because no oneelse deserves that honor(Isa. 48:11).

God is to be fearedmore than all others.Most of us don’t even liketo think about things thatfrighten us. Whether we’retalking about publicspeaking, high places,cramped spaces, darknights, noises at the door,

or creaks in the attic, thevery thought can make usjumpy. Yet without fear, lifewould be very difficult.Even the animal world isendowed with an alarm and escape mechanism thatprovides the creature somedegree of fight or flightnecessary for survival.

At no time, however, isthe emotion of fear moreimportant or more neglectedthan when it involves ourfear of God. To the extentthat we know Him, we willalso fear Him. Yet it is afear, when understood, thatcalms all other fears anddrives us to the Lord, not

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A relationship with God begins

with a fear that willdrive us to the

safety, certainty,and enjoyment

of His love.


away from Him. It is a fearthat teaches us to love,trust, and enjoy Him.

This fear might bedescribed as the first step toa personal relationship withGod. According to Solomon,“The fear of the Lord is thebeginning of knowledge”(Prov. 1:7). In other words,the fear and knowledge ofGod go hand in hand.

Nothing and no onedeserves to be feared morethan the Lord. Not people,not governments, notdisease, not death, not evenSatan. Many who don’tknow God can’t understandthis. They assume that theLord is the only one in theuniverse who doesn’t needto be feared because He istoo good and too loving todo us any harm. The ironicresult is that such personsoften end up missing thevery love they seek becausetheir lives are full of fear—fear of failure, fear ofpeople, fear of natural

disasters, and fear ofaccident, disease, anddeath (Dt. 28:58-68).

Those who really knowthe Lord take Him seriously.They realize that Godexpects to be listened towhen He warns aboutmoral and spiritual failure(Prov. 8:13; 16:6). He alone determines whetheranything or anyone else will be allowed to touch ortest us (Job 1); and mostimportant, He alonedetermines where we willspend eternity (Mt. 10:28;Rev. 2:10; 20:1-15). Suchauthority deserves ourrespect and fear.

Although we reverenceGod and stand in awe of

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You’ll know youhave the right fear

of God when itdrives you to Him

rather than away from Him.


His great power, at the sametime we can have strongconfidence (Prov. 14:26).With David we can say, “I sought the Lord, and Heheard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Ps.34:4). A couple of verseslater David added, “Theangel of the Lord encampsall around those who fearHim, and delivers them. Oh,taste and see that the Lordis good; blessed is the manwho trusts in Him! Oh, fearthe Lord, you His saints!There is no want to thosewho fear Him” (Ps. 34:7-9).

That comes fromsomeone who knew his God. It comes from someonewho personally experiencedthat the God who asks forour surrender is a God whowants us to fear Him for ourown good (Jer. 32:37-39).

God is to be loved,trusted, and obeyedmore than all others.Obedience, like fear, issomething we tend to resist.

Yet, seeing the importance of such obedience is just amatter of perspective. Forexample, most of us arehappy to obey a stranger’sdirections when we’re in an unknown area. We don’t even think of it asobedience. We see it morelike accepting help. That’sthe way we can look atobedience to the Lord. It is a way of accepting His helpand His love that we sodesperately need. Obedienceis a way of showing that wereally do know the Lord andthat we are growing in ourknowledge of how good,loving, and wise He is.

The apostle John wrote:Now by this we knowthat we know Him, if wekeep His commandments.He who says, “I knowHim,” and does not keepHis commandments, is aliar, and the truth is notin him. But whoeverkeeps His word, truly thelove of God is perfected in

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him. By this we knowthat we are in Him. Hewho says he abides inHim ought himself also to walk just as He walked(1 Jn. 2:3-6).The fear, trust, and

obedience involved inknowing the Lord do notleave us the way we were.They make us betterbecause Christ lives within.They change us until thisrelationship possesses usand dominates us—bringingus heart to heart and faceto face with the God of allgoodness and light.

A MUTUALLY-FELTRELATIONSHIPRoadworn, pawsore, andunnerved by children’sstones and the nervousyipping insults of small

pampered housedogs, theGerman Shepherd strayfollowed the stranger from asafe distance. Head low,and with an occasional lookto the side, he steppedlightly and painfully in thetracks of the man who hadthrown him half a bagelnear the garbage bins of Ol’Blue’s Diner. Cold, hungry,and longing for attention,the dog watched thestranger’s every move,waiting for one more sign of recognition, the faintestchance for friendship. But itnever came.

There are people who,when thinking about God,feel like this unwanted stray.They long for the assurancethat God would smile andmove toward them. But theyassume Him to be tooselective to feel anything forthem. Some even see Himas an unchanging, eternalspirit who lives far abovethe ever-changing winds ofpain and emotion that blow

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GOD

MAN

SPIRITUAL

CHRIST-CENTERED

SUBMISSIVEMUTUALLY-FELT


in and out of our lives.But that is not true of

the God of the Bible. TheScriptures assure us that Hefeels deeply for the mostbroken, roadworn, anddejected people. He cannotbe touched by our strength,but only by our weakness.While God’s characternever changes, Hisaffections do change.

To know God is toaffect Him. While Godknew us, loved us, andchose us along with all Hispeople in eternity past(Eph. 1:3-6), He relates tous personally and presentlyin a very intimate way. Herejoices with us when weare happy, sorrows whenwe are sad, and grieveswhen we are bad.

He has made Himselfjust that vulnerable to us.He has exposed His ownheart to all of the lovelessand heartless things that wedo to Him. The Bible tellsus that God can be:

• Pleased (Heb. 11:5).• Grieved and sorrowful

(Gen. 6:6; Eph. 4:30-32).• Provoked and tested

(Ps. 78:40-41).• Burdened and wearied

(Isa. 43:24).• Angered, agitated, and

furious (Ezek. 16:42-43).Specifically, Ephesians

4:30-32 says:Do not grieve the HolySpirit of God, by whomyou were sealed for theday of redemption. Let allbitterness, wrath, anger,clamor, and evil speakingbe put away from you,with all malice. And bekind to one another,tenderhearted, forgivingone another, just as Godin Christ forgave you.The greatest evidence

of His decision to makeHimself vulnerable to us isfound in the personal painsand sorrows of the Onewho with His own mindand heart revealed theFather to us. In the face

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of Jesus Christ, we find theface of God. He is the Onewho suffered for us so Hecould bring us to the Father.He loves us that much!

It might be hard for us to personalize that kind oflove when we know we areonly one in a world of morethan 5 billion people. Butwe need to keep in mindwho it is we are talkingabout. God does not haveour limitations. He is notconfined to human, one-at-a-time relationships. Rather,the One who made theworld is able to relateintimately to as many of us at the same time as Hedesires.

How do we know Godhas that kind of capacity?We might come to thatconclusion by reflecting onthe size and complexity ofthe universe He created. Orwe might consider the vastamounts of knowledge andinformation that finitepeople like ourselves can

amass through the globalInternet. Or we mightsimply trust the words of the One who said:

Are not two sparrows soldfor a copper coin? Andnot one of them falls tothe ground apart fromyour Father’s will. But thevery hairs of your headare all numbered. Do notfear therefore; you are ofmore value than manysparrows (Mt. 10:29-31).If a sparrow doesn’t fall

to the ground apart fromHis knowledge, then theOne who numbers the hairsof our head is also countingthe tears, the moments ofour fears, and the depth of the swirling watersthreatening to engulf us.

If God knows us withthis kind of knowledge, thenwe are never as alone as wefeel. We are never withouthelp. We are never out ofthe Father’s reach. Eventhough He might test ourfaith and our patience by

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not responding immediatelyin the way we want Him to,we can be reassured with apeace and confidence thatcan calm the turbulencewithin and lead to dramaticchanges in us.

To know God is to beaffected by Him. Thinkfor a moment about thepeople who have changedyour life for the better.Maybe it was the teacherwho inspired you to go foryour dreams. Maybe it wasthe parent or grandparentwhose words and hugsmade you feel deeply loved.Maybe it was the neighborwho showed you by hisexample that any job worthdoing is worth doing well.Looking back, you can seethat knowing these peoplechanged your life.

What is true of thesepeople will be even moretrue of those who come toknow God. No one canknow Him without beingchanged by Him. Anyone

who comes into God’spresence will be touchedand changed by the Onewho loves us enough toaccept us as we are, butloves us too much to leave

us that way. The apostleJames described such apersonal relationship withGod like this:

Therefore submit to God.Resist the devil and hewill flee from you. Drawnear to God and He willdraw near to you. Cleanseyour hands, you sinners;and purify your hearts,you double-minded.Lament and mourn andweep! Let your laughter

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To develop apersonal

relationship withGod means to

learn to love whatHe loves and hate

what He hates.


be turned to mourningand your joy to gloom.Humble yourselves in thesight of the Lord, and Hewill lift you up (4:7-10).To know God in this way

means allowing our heartsto be broken by the thingsthat break His heart. Itmeans finding joy in thethings that bring Him joy,discovering strength in Hisstrength, and receivinghope in the assurance thatnothing is too hard for Him. It means finding anew lease on life in Onewho offers us forgiveness in exchange for ourrepentance, comfort intrade for our sorrow, andthe promise of a world tocome for our willingness torelease our grip on thispresent one.

We are changed as wediscover that to know Godis to love Him. To love Himis to give Him first place inour hearts. Giving Him firstplace is to care about those

He cares about, to lovewhat He loves, to hate whatHe hates, and to join Himin the family business ofredeeming broken lives.

This is the kind ofhealthy relationship thatGod calls us to. But suchmaturity doesn’t justhappen. Sometimes apersonal relationship with God remains a faintglimmer of what it wasmeant to be. Sometimes westop short of the growth towhich God calls us.

A GROWINGRELATIONSHIPWho could doubt thepersonal relationshipbetween parents and theirnewborn baby in thehospital nursery. Yet a one-sided parent-infant

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GOD

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CHRIST-CENTERED


GROWING


relationship provides animportant counterbalanceto much of what we’ve saidup until now. On earlierpages we’ve emphasizedthe mutual nature of arelationship. Now we needto see the other side of thistruth.

Just as some babies donot grow and thrive, manychildren of God follow asimilar pattern. Sometimesgrowth starts and then stalls.Even though God Himself is committed to bring us to eventual maturity, Heoften allows us to remaininfantile in our attitudes and knowledge of Him.

The apostle Pauladdressed this issue ofimmaturity and lack of growth when he wrote:

I, brethren, could notspeak to you as tospiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes inChrist. I fed you withmilk and not with solidfood; for until now you

were not able to receive it,and even now you arestill not able; for you arestill carnal. For wherethere are envy, strife, and divisions among you,are you not carnal andbehaving like mere men?(1 Cor. 3:1-3).Expect a process.

Growing to maturity takesequal amounts of diligenceand patience. On one hand, we must never besatisfied with the level ofour relationship andknowledge of God. If weare, we’ll stagnate, sour,and go backward. On theother hand, we must bepatient with ourselves andnot expect more than Godexpects of us.

Scripture shows that thismaturity doesn’t happenovernight. It requires time—time with God, and time inHis Word. For that reasonPeter wrote, “As newbornbabes, desire the pure milkof the word, that you may

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grow thereby, if indeed youhave tasted that the Lord is gracious” (1 Pet. 2:2-3).James supported theprogressive nature of thisrelationship with God whenhe wrote:

My brethren, count it alljoy when you fall intovarious trials, knowingthat the testing of yourfaith produces patience.But let patience have itsperfect work, that youmay be perfect andcomplete, lacking nothing (1:2-4).Don’t rush the process.

But don’t let it stop.Continue to feed on theWord of God even as youallow Him to show Himselffaithful in the seasons, tests,and troubles of life. Don’texpect perfection. We will fail. Be content to belearning and growing. Don’tbe like the homeowner whoplanted a garden, only to digit up 2 weeks later becausehe didn’t have tomatoes yet.

Expect change.Because of the very nature of spiritual life, our relationship with theLord will change. It willchange because as we goforward we will always findmore—more knowledge and experience of God that will stretch us, enlarge ourhearts, and make us better.

Our relationship withGod can also change for theworse, however, if we beginto coast and rely on pastexperiences with Him. Wemust expect change becauseour relationship with Him is by nature a contestedissue. Our adversary, thedevil, won’t be satisfieduntil he neutralizes us andwe slip into a spiritual coma(Eph. 6:10-13).

Although our personalrelationship with God can never be lost, thecharacteristics of thatrelationship will change.We will change. Count onit. Our hearts will either

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grow warmer or colder. Our character will eitherdeepen or thin out. Ourconversations with God will either become moreintimate or less meaningfuland less frequent.

Allow forincompleteness.Speaking of our incomplete relationshipwith God, Paul said:

For we know in part and we prophesy in part.But when that which isperfect has come, thenthat which is in part willbe done away. . . . Fornow we see in a mirror,dimly, but then face toface. Now I know in part,but then I shall know justas I also am known. Andnow abide faith, hope,love, these three; but thegreatest of these is love (1 Cor. 13:9-10,12-13).That’s the realism

we’re faced with. Ourknowledge and experienceare incomplete. It’s as if we

are looking at the face ofGod through a cloudedglass. But then it will beface to face. In themeantime, we have ourorders. We must accept ourincompleteness, trust God,and put our hope in Hisimminent return. We are tolove God and His imperfectfamily with all of our heart.We can’t afford to demandperfection of ourselves.Neither should we demandit of others. The holinessand growth that God islooking for will be seen in our brokenness andhumility, not in our spiritual perfection.

Don’t expect heavennow. Not only is itimportant for us to giveourselves time to grow in theLord, but it is also essentialthat we take time to let Himshow Himself absolutelyfaithful and satisfying to us.But don’t expect in this lifewhat He has promised tocomplete in eternity.

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We who trust in Christare people of eternity. Thereare no time limits on ourfuture. We are not like theprofessional athlete whohas to reach his goals andmake his money and aname for himself in just afew short years before heloses his competitive edge.

Having a relationshipwith God is not a way to get everything we want inlife. It is not the key tofinancial success, goodhealth, and long life. It is,however, the way to findincreasing amounts of inner love, joy, peace,patience, kindness,goodness, faithfulness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23). It is a means of findingthe ultimate relationship,the ultimate purpose, theultimate mission, theultimate security, theultimate hope.

All that remains for us is to trust Christ for whatwe cannot now see or have.

We need to believe thatwhat Christ said to Hisdisciples is still true:

Let not your heart betroubled; you believe inGod, believe also in Me.In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I wouldhave told you. I go toprepare a place for you.And if I go and prepare a place for you, I willcome again and receiveyou to Myself; that whereI am, there you may bealso (Jn. 14:1-3).That is our hope. We

should not expect the Lordto give us everything wecrave now. While He haspromised to provide for theneeds of all who followHim, He also reserves theright to determine what weneed now and what we willbe able to enjoy more if it isdeferred until later.

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A SHAREDRELATIONSHIPWe all come to God one at a time. In a sense, wecome all alone. It is ourpersonal decision, ourchoice, whether or not weare willing to enter into apersonal relationship withGod. No one else makesthis decision for us. But itdoesn’t stop there. Once wecome to God, we are joinedto Him and born into Hisfamily.

Those who love Godwill love one another. It is impossible to have apersonal relationship with God without alsohaving Christ-centeredrelationships with otherpeople. Christ’s love shownon the cross is our example.

He showed us that to beclose to the Father meansto share the Father’s lovefor others (1 Jn. 4:7-11). As I get to know the Lord, I will also be confrontedwith a God who dearlyloves those people aroundme—my family, friends,neighbors, businessassociates, acquaintances,and even my enemies.

This is the kind of attitudethat Paul encouraged in theChristians at Thessalonica.After affirming the reality andevidence of their relationshipto God (1 Th. 1:1-7), he wenton to say:

Concerning brotherly loveyou have no need that Ishould write to you, foryou yourselves are taughtby God to love oneanother; and indeed youdo so toward all thebrethren who are in allMacedonia. But we urgeyou, brethren, that youincrease more and more(4:9-10).

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GOD

MAN

SPIRITUAL

CHRIST-CENTERED


GROWING

SHARED


We might like to live inisolation, but we can’t do itif we’re going to grow in our relationship with God.Knowing God doesn’t meanjust knowing about Him; itmeans entering into Him—into His thoughts, Hisheart, His sacrificial love.

The apostle John wrote:Beloved, let us love oneanother, for love is ofGod; and everyone wholoves is born of God andknows God. He who doesnot love does not knowGod, for God is love (1 Jn. 4:7-8).Those who love God

are dependent on oneanother. In Ephesians 4,Paul made it clear that our vertical relationship with God is accompanied by many horizontalrelationships. He picturedeach child of God as amember of the body ofChrist. Each part has afunction. Just as the eye, ear, mouth, and foot make

distinct contributions to ourphysical bodies, so eachbeliever plays a distinct rolein the church, the body ofChrist. When every partdoes its share, the wholebody receives the benefit(see 1 Cor. 12 and Rom. 12).

Even though we havereceived a completesalvation in Christ, there isanother sense in which weare not complete withoutrelating to and serving one another. We need oneanother just as much as themouth needs the eye andthe eye needs the hand. This is the outworking of oursalvation. We might thinkwe are independent spiritswho can do just fine on our own, but we will soondiscard that idea as we growin our knowledge of God.

Those who love God will submit to oneanother. In Ephesians5:21, Paul said that we areto submit to one another inthe fear of God. In the

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counsel that follows, hiswords become very specific:• Wives are to serve their

husbands as a means ofserving the Lord (5:22).

• Husbands shouldlovingly surrender theirown interests in behalf of their wives as Christlovingly surrendered Hisinterests in behalf of thechurch (5:25-28).

• Children are to obeytheir parents in the Lord(6:1).

• Servants are to beobedient to their mastersas a means of servingthe Lord (6:5-7).

• Masters are to showconsideration for theirservants out of deferenceto the Lord (6:9). The message comes

through clearly. KnowingGod and His love (Eph.3:14-21) means that we willlovingly and submissivelyserve others. As we trustGod and obediently serveothers, we will discover deep

within our own souls therighteousness, wisdom, andpower of the love of Christ.

Obediently channelingGod’s love to others enablesus to begin to experiencethe meaning of Paul’s prayerin Ephesians 3:14-19.

For this reason I bow myknees to the Father of ourLord Jesus Christ, fromwhom the whole family in heaven and earth isnamed, that He wouldgrant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened withmight through His Spiritin the inner man, thatChrist may dwell in yourhearts through faith; thatyou, being rooted andgrounded in love, may beable to comprehend withall the saints what is thewidth and length anddepth and height—toknow the love of Christwhich passes knowledge;that you may be filled withall the fullness of God.

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ONE WHO WASCLOSE . . . YETSO FAR AWAY

IIt is possible to be close to Christ, yet so far from the life He offers.

This was true even amongthe original 12 apostles ofChrist. They had the mostobvious opportunity for apersonal relationship withHim. Yet even in that innercircle, there was one,probably the most trustedmember of the group (for hekept the money), who neverreally had the kind ofpersonal connection withChrist that we are talkingabout. Judas knew a lotabout Jesus. He knew the Teacher’s habits wellenough to lead Jesus’enemies to a gardenmeeting place. He knewChrist well enough to betrayHim with a kiss of greeting.But Judas didn’t know Jesusas his Savior and Lord.

Trusted though he was,the “keeper of the money”never had the kind ofpersonal, Christ-centeredrelationship with God thatis available to us today. Heis a troubling example ofthe kind of person Jesustalked about when He said:

Enter by the narrow gate;for wide is the gate andbroad is the way thatleads to destruction. . . .Many will say to Me inthat day, “Lord, Lord,have we not prophesiedin Your name, cast outdemons in Your name, and done many wondersin Your name?” And thenI will declare to them, “Inever knew you; departfrom Me, you whopractice lawlessness!”(Mt. 7:13,22-23).Let’s make sure that

we do not end up as onewho presumed that to knowabout Christ is to know Him personally.

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MAKING ITPERSONAL

SSomeone has said, “Knowing Christ died—that’s history.

Believing He died for me—that’s salvation.” A personalrelationship with Christbegins at the moment of oursalvation. Jesus referred tothis event as a second birth(Jn. 3:3). Only when we areborn spiritually into God’sfamily do we become Hischildren, His friends, Hisservants, and members ofHis spiritual kingdom.

While we may not knowexactly when this new lifebegins, we can understandthe steps we need to take tobegin this relationship.

FIRST STEP: We need to admitour lost condition. All of us are born to theparents of a fallen humanity.We come into this world

separated from the life ofGod and absorbed with an interest in findingsatisfaction, significance,and personal independenceon our own terms. In theprocess, we don’t show anatural desire for the kind of God who made us forHimself (Rom. 3:11-12).

While we may look good to ourselves as long as we measure ourselves by ourselves, Jesus Christshowed us our sin. He isthe One who showed uswhat it means to have apersonal relationship withGod. He is also the Onewho said that He didn’tcome into this world to helpgood people, but “to seek

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Knowing Christdied—that’s

history. Believing He diedfor me—that’s

salvation.


and to save that which waslost” (Lk. 19:10).

The Bible says we allcome into this physicalworld physically alive butspiritually dead—missingout on the quality of life forwhich God made us. Theapostle Paul wrote, “Allhave sinned and fall shortof the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23), “There is none righteous, no, notone” (Rom. 3:10), and “The wages of sin is death”(Rom. 6:23).

SECOND STEP: We need to knowwhat God has donefor us. The word gospel means“good news.” The gospel of Christ is that GodHimself loved us enough to send His own Son intothis world to rescue us from ourselves and our sin(Jn. 1:1-4; 3:16).

The good news is thatJesus lived the quality of

life that God intended forus to live. Without flaw, Heloved His heavenly Fatherwith all of His heart, soul,and mind. Without fail, Heshowed us what it means tolove our neighbor asourselves.

Then, to solve theproblem of our lostrelationship with His Father, Jesus died in ourplace, offering Himself as aperfect sacrifice to pay theprice of sin. Because Hewas not only man but God our Creator as well (Jn. 1:1-14), His death wasof infinite value. When Herose from the dead, Heproved that He had died inour place to pay the price of

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“I have not cometo call the

righteous, butsinners to

repentance.”—Jesus (Lk. 5:32)


all sin—past, present, andfuture. With one sacrifice,He paid for the least—andthe worst—of our sin.

THIRD STEP: We need topersonally believe and receive God’s gift. While we all have earnedthe wages of spiritual deathand separation from God(Rom. 6:23), no one canearn a relationship withGod. It is a gift of His loveand mercy—not a reward forour effort. No one is savedby trying to be good. We aresaved by trusting in Christ.

This is why the apostlePaul could write, “For bygrace [undeserved favor]you have been savedthrough faith, and that not of yourselves; it is thegift of God, not of works,lest anyone should boast”(Eph. 2:8-9; see also Rom. 4:5; Ti. 3:5).

This may sound toosimple. But it takes a

miracle of God’s grace tobreak our pride and self-sufficiency. It takes God’sSpirit to draw us into this kind of personalrelationship. If this is your desire, this is how you can begin.

The actual words we say to God to receive this gift may vary (Lk. 18:13; 23:42-43). What is important is that we believe God enough tobe able to say, “Father, Iknow I have sinned againstYou. I believe that Jesus isYour Son, that He died formy sins, and that He rosefrom the dead to prove it.Now I accept Your offer ofeternal life. I accept Jesus asYour gift for my salvation.”

If this is the honestexpression of your heart,welcome to God’s family!By simple, childlike faithyou have entered into apersonal relationship withthe One who made you andsaved you for Himself.

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POWER FORLIVINGEvery child of God is togrow spiritually. Thefollowing POWER acrosticwill help you to rememberthe essential elements tospiritual progress.

PPrayray.. Christians who want to grow,

communicate with Godthrough prayer. Theyexpress their gratitude toHim, confess their sins, andcome to Him with theirrequests for themselves andfor others. God promises tobe near to all who come toHim in prayer (Ps. 145:18).

OObeybey.. In John 14, Jesus said that

our obedience to Hiscommands is an indicatorof our love for Him(vv.15,21,23). We can’t do it in our own strength,however. That’s one of thereasons He gave us theHoly Spirit (vv.16-17). Aswe yield to Him, the Spirit

provides the power to walkin obedience (Gal. 5:16-25).

WWorship.orship. As Christians, our

devotion to God is to be continuous. Privately, we should worship God in our thoughts and prayers (Ps. 34:1). Publicly, we should unitewith fellow believers in alocal assembly to bringpraise to God (Ps. 111:1;Heb. 10:24-25).

EEvangelize.vangelize. The good news of the gospel is

to be shared. As we tellothers what Christ has done for us, we will findourselves growing byspiritual leaps and bounds(Mt. 28:19-20).

RRead.ead. The most direct source of a Christian’s

spiritual growth is the Bible.It must be read regularlybecause it is our milk andstrong meat (1 Pet. 2:2;Heb. 5:12-14). It tells ushow to live (Ps. 119:105). It is God’s word to us today.

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