what every parent needs

8/2/2019 What Every Parent Needs

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To be an effective parent, you need to establish astrong foundation for your home.

Hello, I'm a ParentIntroduce yourself by telling the group the names and ages ofyour children and one reason why you decided to join this group.

Next, choose one of the following sentences to complete, andthen share it with the group:

One way my life changed when I became a parent is . . . One of the best things about being a parent is . . . The longer I'm a parent, the more I appreciate how my

own parents . . . I didn't realize that when I became a parent, my life

would . . .

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The Challenges of Raising ChildrenAs a parent, it's easy to feel apprehensive and, at times, inadequate. There are no perfect people and no perfect parents. Allparents face challenges as they raise their children. Our goal inthis study is to provide you with some clear principles and strategies to improve your parenting skills.

1. How would you compare your job as a parent today to whatyour parents faced? Do you think parenting today is moredifficult, less difficult, or about the same? Explain youranswer.

2. How does the strength or weakness of your marriagecommitment affect the well-being of your children?

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3, In what ways does a family benefit when both parentsare involved and in agreement in the parenting process?Give an example of a situation when you've seen this inaction,

Q ' homebuilders principle: You and your spouse need a......1 fresh commitment to your marriage and to a united approach

to raising your children.

The Need to Value Children4. Read Psalm 127:3-5 and Luke 18: 15-17. What do these

passages tell us about God's view of children?

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5, Why do you think it's important to aclmowledge that eachchild is a gift from God? How does this belief influence theway you carry out your responsibilities as a parent?

6, In what specific ways have your children been gifts orblessings for you? What's rewarding to you as a parent?

homebuilders principle: Each child is a divinely placedgift, a high and holy privilege given to parents,

The Need for ConvictionsOne of the most important things we can do as parents is to establish a set of convictions and ideals to live by. Author Josh Mc-Dowell writes that having a conviction "is being so thoroughlyconvinced that something is absolutely true that you take a standfor it regardless of the consequences." These convictions, or "core

What Every ParenL Need i l

values," guide our daily choices and help us establish priorities.They are also the values we pass on to our children. For example,the adage "A job worth doing is worth doing right" is actually areflection of multiple convictions: the values of working hard,taking responsibility, and striving for excellence.

7. As you think about your mother and father (or the personwho raised you), what really mattered to them? What convictions or values would you say governed their lives? Whatcore values did they pass on to you?

8. On the scale that follows, where would you rate yourself onestablishing a personal set of core values or convictions?

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10I I I I I I I I I IHaven't really thought about it Have a well-thought-out, easily

articulated set of convictions List a couple of your convictions:

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Improdng Jour Part 'J lling

9. Read Matthew 7:24-27. According to this passage, what'sthe difference between the wise man and the foolish man?How would you apply this to the process of determiningyour core values?

CL.< homebuilders principle: As a parent, you need to,".,,; establish core values and base them on the unchangingtruth of God's Word.

Set a time for you a h d Y o u t s ~ b u s e ~ t o ' c ? ~ p , l ~ HomeBuilders project together b e f ~ t e ! t h ~ ~ e x . t : meeting.' You will b e ' a s k e d a t t h e ; n e x ~ ' s e l ; S i Q ~ P ~ t an insight or experiefice ftorrttheprojecL!date . ~ _ - - ' - " - _ ~ ~ - - ' - " - - - - ' - - ' -

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On Your OwnAnswer the following questions:

1. What key insight did you gain from this session?

2. What specific steps can you and your spouse take todevelop a more united approach to parenting?

3. In the space that follows, or on a separate sheet of paperif needed, take about ten minutes to list as many valuesas you can think of that you would like to pass on to yourchildren. This is brainstorming time; focus on writing asmany convictions as come to mind, and try to keep yourstatements to one sentence. To help you get started, see thelist of "Core Values Possibilities" on pages 9-13.

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4. Working from the list you just created, select five corevalues to designate as your top values and record themhere:

1.2.3.4.5.

5. Reflect on your lifestyle and how you spend your time.How well does your life reflect the top core values youselected? Be specific.

With Your Spouse1. Share your responses to the questions you answered on

your own.

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2. Talk about the top core values you selected. How similaror different are your lists? Do you agree or disagree witheach other's selections? Create a combined "Top-Ten CoreValues" list.

1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.

3. Discuss specific ways you can teach and model these valuesto your children. You might want to schedule a series offamily nights to address your top-ten values with them.

4. Close in prayer, asking God for wisdom as you seek tomodel and communicate your core values to your children.

Be sure to check out the related Parent-Child Interactions beginning on page 81. ".;,

Core Values PossibilitiesWhile no t exhaustive, the following list in cludes more than fiftytopics in eight categories to help spark your thinking.

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SpirituaL VaLuesValues under this category might address such topics as

a personal relationship with God through Christ a childlike faith a biblical worldview an implicit trust in the Bible a contrite and tender heart an attitude of humble prayer a hunger for righteousness a healthy fear and reverence for God a radical dependence on God a forgiving spirit a spirit of hope a deep and abiding love for God and others a submissive attitude toward God and God-appointed

authorities

ReLationaL VaLuesValues under this category might deal with such attitudes as

respect friendliness compassion grace mercy care

What Every Pa r en t Need"

thoughtfulness kindness helpfulness generosity

Moral ValuesValues under this category might address such topics as

what you base your moral choices on where you stand on specific issues

Civic and Cultural ValuesValues under this category might address such topics as abiding by the law social mindedness patriotism

lifestyLe ValuesValues under this category might address such topics as

how you spend your time each day how much you emphasize material things how strong your work ethic is how much you emphasize relationships


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Family VaLuesValues under this category might address such topics as

commitment to your spouse commitment to one another as a family importance of grandparents and relatives

PersonaL DeveLopment VaLuesValues under this category might address such topics as

personal-health convictions intellectual growth skill and hobby development cleanliness discipline

Character ValuesValues under this category might address such traits as

honesty lovingkindness truthfulness faithfulness trustworthiness obedience teachability tolerance

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temperance patience loyalty moral purity financial integrity

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what every parent needs

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