Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD

your God is giving you.Exodus 20:12 [ESV]

What do you think of when you hear this commandment?

This command is not primarily about the obedience of children

The commandment is addressed to adults

The primary point relates to a mature child’s attitude toward and treatment of his/her parents

What does it mean to ‘honor’ someone?

• One cannot honor whom one ignores• One cannot honor whom one demeans• One cannot honor whom one treats poorly

This is a command to value and respect one’s parents

• This does not require absolute agreement• This does not require continued

dependence

The commandment requires the hearer to take care of his/her parents

• Financial resources are to be used to fulfill one’s obligations to family (cf. Prov 28:24; 1 Tim 5:3-8)

• No one has a’ ‘right’ to be free from these obligations and responsibilities

A secondary point does relate to the obedience of children (cf. Eph 6:1; Col 3:20)

This obedience is not absolute• Children are not obligated to follow their

parents into sin• This call for obedience is not an excuse for

abuse (cf. Eph 6:4; Col 3:21)

A trilateral commandment

PARENTS

MATURE CHILDREN

YOUNG CHILDREN

A proper perspective

• Family is important• God created the family

• Families are not merely social constructs

• God created us to live in families

A proper perspective

• Family is not the most important thing• Luke 14:26• If anyone comes to me and does not

hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.

A proper perspective

• Family is not the most important thing• Matthew 12:46-50• While he was still speaking to the people,

behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he said, Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.

A proper perspective

• Family is not the most important thing• But cf. Mark 7:9-13• We are not to use ‘religion’ as an excuse

for failure to fulfill our familial obligations

The commandment with a promise

“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Ephesians 6:2-3 [ESV]

The commandment with a promise

• Honoring one’s parents pleases God (cf. 1 Tim 5:4)

• Honoring one’s parents just makes good sense