what do i bring to the table?. becoming the ‘right person’
TRANSCRIPT
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What Do I Bring to the Table?
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Becoming the ‘right person’
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Preparation for the Blessing
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Examine, Adjust, Repair Your Self-Portrait
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Third Realm of Heart
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Second Realm Of Heart
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First Realm of Heart
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Are you capable of building the marriage of your dreams?
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Self-ReflectionSelf-Awareness
Life Goals
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Write down three adjectives that best describe your character
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The most important preparation is internal:
1. Motivation2. Maturity3. Capacity to Love4. Faith
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1. Motivation
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What is your motivation to be Blessed?
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You want someone to love you
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You think you should
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You’re lonely
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You want to be happy
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How many people are scared about the whole thing?
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Marriage is our spiritual path
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Most spiritual growth happens in and thru’ relationships
Maturity is measured in our ability to love
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2. Maturity
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integrity and conscience
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self-discipline and self-control
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managing your feelings
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How do you handle……
• disappointment?• loneliness?• rejection?• stress?• anger?
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How do you deal with challenge?
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How do you deal with boredom?
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What tools do I use to maintain my spiritual and emotional health?
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What do you do when someone hurts your feelings? Or disagrees with you?
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How are you at forgiving?
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awareness of others
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How are you at sacrifice?
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OMG!
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deferring gratification
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marshmallow test
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Those who resisted temptation were reaching their goals
socially competent, embraced challenges, coped well with frustration,
confident, trustworthy dependable
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We have baggage
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family history
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past hurts
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mistakes
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misconceptions about marriage
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All our needs will get met,
always
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Bad habits get replaced by good habits as soon as you get married
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bring them with you
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Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it
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“The strongest characteristic of a marriageable person is the habit
of happiness.”
Dr. M. Landis-
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• Can I be happy even when things don’t go my way?
• Do I usually count my blessings or do I count what’s missing?
• Do I often compare my situation to others?
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We decide how happy or unhappy we will be
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What kind of person are you ?
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Attitude of Gratitude
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Happy couples share exaggerated views of their spouses
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Maturity is really about being able to take responsibility
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Responsible Attitude:
Committed to growing my heart and maturing my character to its full potential
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Next Stage…
Committed to helping my future partner become the best they can be
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3. Capacity for Love
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loving actions
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acceptance
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assume the best
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listen for the heart
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look for the gold
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real love
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commitment
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Can you stick to something or to someone thru’ thick and thin?
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4. Faith
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basic sense of core beliefs
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What nourishes and inspires me?
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What do I know is true?
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life of faith
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Rely on God
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compulsion for completeness is at the core of each of us
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We hope our partners will complete our deep need for significance
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Not even the most loving and Godly spouse can always fulfill our deepest
needs for love and significance
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need to rely on God
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God-Centered Marriage
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develop a personal relationship with God
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pay attention to your actions and reactions
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practice loving
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go beyond your comfort zone
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work on important relationships
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Marriage requires flexibility, acceptance and humor
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life is crazy
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people always change
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stuffhappens
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“No matter how good your partner is, you will not find his or her value
unless you have within you the quality to do so.”
- True Father
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What am I bringing to the table?
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always more to learn
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Fourth Realm