welcome to nowhere!

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  • 8/14/2019 Welcome to Nowhere!

    1/2

    The unspoiled landscape is only briefly

    touched upon by the ambitions of

    humankind, with few houses and fewer

    businesses, churches and chocolate

    shops. The local high school is the

    only building of note, constructed in the

    1920s. Nowhere can claim the best high

    school football team in the state in fact,

    in local parlance a particularly good or

    surprising play is often said to come

    from Nowhere. The fabled Bridge to

    Nowhere is a favorite town legend, andparts of the bridge can still be seen in

    neighboring Pleasantville.

    For a city of this size, the amount of

    recreational activities is extraordinary.

    Nowhere is the home of the semiannual

    International Lawnwatching Competition.

    Teams of lawnwatchers from around the

    world come together for three days of

    watching grass grow. The winning team

    takes home a 50 lb. bag of Kentucky

    Bluegrass seeds and a trophy in the shape

    of a lawnmower.

    Nowhere is also the place to celebrate

    National Paintdrying Week. Throughout

    the festivities, fences, houses, porticos,

    gazebos and derelict barns are coated

    with gaily colored paint, and visitors are

    invited to watch as the paint dries to a

    bright, moisture-sealing finish. Lodgings

    fill up fast for this event, so make sure

    you reserve your spot early!

    Culturally, Nowhere has influenced great

    musical works. During a visit in 1969,

    Neil Young got the inspiration for his

    classic album, Everyone Knows This

    is Nowhere, and even took the cover

    photo here. During a cross-country tour

    in 1965, John Lennon made a stop in

    Nowhere, inspiring the well-known hit

    Nowhere Man. According to local

    lore, Nowhere Man is based on a

    blind, aimless, clueless townsperson with

    a bad sense of direction.

    Nowhere provides a numb

    cial activities The town is

    one of Americas best love

    tions. Every Friday, the en

    together to perform the cla

    Bottles of Beer on the Wa

    citizens either fall away dea

    the beer stocks are spent. N

    hosts the countrys first Pro

    Club, established in 1867.

    first meeting has yet to be h

    bers uphold the clubs tene

    daily lives and strive to spre

    sage of procrastination whe

    around to it.

  • 8/14/2019 Welcome to Nowhere!

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    Beautiful...Wonderful...

    Lovely....

    TheMostPerfectlyNo

    ndescriptCityinA

    merica! Heaven is a p

    A place where nothappens

    - David Byrne,

    Nowhere is the clos

    to Heaven that has

    conceived, a place o

    senility and tranquiltowns residents respect eac

    join together in communal

    No one strains themselves

    even to get out of bed depe

    day.

    The town (pop. 15,685) wa

    1918 as a result of land squ

    its immediate neighbors, inbecause none of them wan

    the land. Its obscurity is h

    ed, and a source of pride f

    Nowherians. On the best

    remains invisible to even it

    local highways bypass it com

    most maps do not list it. T

    post office is 30 miles away

    cumstances allow Nowhere

    ten for decades at a time. It

    been ignored by the US go

    over 50 years the most re

    data available is from 1920

    the town came into being.

    Nowhere is known for one of the worlds

    most recognizable landmarks. The

    Middle of Nowhere is memorialized by

    a simple statue of red granite, carved in

    an elegant tapered square pillar. The

    bronze plaques positioned on each of

    its four faces state Middle of Nowhere,

    Est. 1918. Located in the center of

    town, the pillar is a plaintive, if frequently

    ignored, statement of pride to all citizens.

    Plan Your Visit!

    Lodging:

    Inn the Middle of Nowhere

    Out of Nowhere

    Miles from Nowhere

    Shopping:

    Nowhere to be Found

    Nowhere Special

    Local Tours:

    Nowhere to Run

    Nowhere to Hide

    Nowhere to Turn

    Nowhere Tourism Bureau

    16 West Nowhere Square

    Nowhere 00000-0000

    www.townofnowhere.com