weird:’message’series’devotional’ …...weird:’message’series’devotional’...

11
Weird: Message Series Devotional Week 5 – Weird: Marriage Provided by South Ridge Church Many times, our culture invites us to fit in with others. We’re to fit in with other religious beliefs, or other’s views on parenting or sexuality. But in all things, God calls us to be weird in good way. He calls us to stand out. This week, take the opportunity each day to read about how God calls each of us to be weird (different in a good way.)

Upload: others

Post on 12-Jul-2020

19 views

Category:

Documents


0 download

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ …...Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ Week’5’–’Weird:’Marriage’ Provided’bySouthRidgeChurch’ Many’times,our’culture’invites’us’to’fit

 

 

Weird:  Message  Series  Devotional  

Week  5  –  Weird:  Marriage  

Provided  by  South  Ridge  Church  

Many   times,  our  culture   invites  us   to   fit   in  with  others.  We’re   to   fit   in  with  other   religious  beliefs,  or  other’s  views  on  parenting  or  sexuality.  But  in  all  things,  God  calls  us  to  be  weird  in  good  way.  He  calls  us  to  stand  out.    

This  week,  take  the  opportunity  each  day  to  read  about  how  God  calls  each  of  us  to  be  weird  (different  in  a  good  way.)    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Page 2: Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ …...Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ Week’5’–’Weird:’Marriage’ Provided’bySouthRidgeChurch’ Many’times,our’culture’invites’us’to’fit

Weird:  Marriage  –  Day  1  of  5  

Michael:  “Hey,  what’s  that  you’re  reading?”  

Tanner:  “Oh,  my  wife  and  I  decided  to  read  this  book  on  marriage  and  then  talk  about  it.”  

Michael:  “I  don’t  think  I’ve  ever  seen  you  read  anything.”  

Tanner:  “That’s  because  I  don’t.  This  is  probably  the  first  book  I’ve  read  in  years.”  

Michael:  “So  the  wife  made  you  do  it,  huh?”  *laughs*  

Tanner:  “Not  exactly.  We  had  some   friends  at   church   recommend   it,   and  we   just   thought  we’d  give  it  a  try.”  

Michael:  “So…are  you  having  any  struggles  in  your  marriage  or  anything?”  

Tanner:  “No.  We’re  doing  quite  well,  really.”  

Michael:  “You’re  doing  well,  but  you’re  still  reading  a  book  about  it?”  

Tanner:  “Well…are  you  only  supposed  to  read  when  you’re  not  doing  well?”  

Michael:  “That’s  not  what  I  meant.”  

Tanner:  *looks  blankly*  “What  did  you  mean,  then?”  

Michael:  “Oh,  never  mind.  So,  what  are  you  learning  so  far?”  

Tanner:  “Well,   a   lot   really.   I   knew  the  Bible   talked  about  marriage  a   lot.  But   the  author   is  going   into   great   detail   about   some   of   the   words   used   when   the   Bible   was   written.   For  example,  most  of  the  Bible  was  written  in  Hebrew  or  Greek,  and…”  

Michael:  “I  knew  that.”  

Tanner:  “OK,  well.  He’s  going   into  detail   about  what   some  of   the  words  used   to  describe  marriage  really  meant.”  

Michael:  “Like  what?”  

Tanner:  “Well,  friendship  would  be  an  example.  The  Bible  uses  terms  to  describe  marriage  in  the  same  way  we  would  think  of  a  best  friend  relationship.”  

Michael:  “Really?  I  mean,  I’m  no  Bible  scholar  or  anything.  Not  even  close.  But  I  don’t  think  I’ve  ever  heard  that  before.”  

Tanner:  “I  hadn’t  either.  It’s  quite  fascinating  really.”  

Michael:  “What  else?”  

Tanner:  “Well,   I’m  only  a  couple  of  chapters   in.  But  according  to  the  Table  of  Contents,   it’s  going  to  go  in  detail  about  some  other  things  as  well.  So  after  this  section  on  friendship  it’s  

Page 3: Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ …...Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ Week’5’–’Weird:’Marriage’ Provided’bySouthRidgeChurch’ Many’times,our’culture’invites’us’to’fit

going  into  detail  about  love.  Apparently,  love  can  be  defined  as  friendship,  or  service  to  one  another,  and  of  course,  making  love.”  

Michael:  “Time  out.  Are  you  saying  that  the  Bible  uses  words  to  describe  marriage  as  a  best  friend  relationship  but  also  highlights  specific  forms  of  love,  like  companionship  or  sex?”  

Tanner:  “I’m  not  saying  that.  But  this  book  is  saying  that,  yes.”  

Michael:  “When  you  get  to  those  other  chapters,  can  you  give  me  the  bullet  points  on  them,  too?  Especially,  ummmm…the  sex  chapter.”  

Tanner:  *laughing*  “I  can,  I  suppose.  But  here’s  the  thing.  The  introduction  stated  that  each  chapter   is   equally   important.   For   example,   I   highlighted   this   section   here.   It   says,   ‘It’s  impossible   to   have   good   friendship   while   maintaining   a   poor   sex   life.   Likewise,   it   isn’t  possible   to  have  a  great  sex   life   if  you’re  not  also   focusing  on  your   friendship.  Marriage   is  holistic  in  nature.  And  each  aspect  of  marriage  is  equally  important.’”  

Michael:  “That  makes  sense  to  me.  But  what  if  one  spouse  is  willing  to  work  on  everything  holistically,  but  the  other  isn’t?”  

Tanner:   “Good   question.   I   think   that’s   covered   in   the   final   chapter,   ‘Serving   the   Hard-­‐Hearted.’”  

Michael:  “That’s  a  rough  title.”  

Tanner:  “Indeed.”  

Michael:  “Well,  I’m  intrigued.  Not  intrigued  enough  yet  to  read  it  myself.  But  still  intrigued.”  

Tanner:  “I’ll   let  you  know  my  thoughts  when   I’m  done.  Maybe  we  can  catch  up  again   in  a  couple  of  weeks  to  follow-­‐up.”  

Michael:  “Sounds  good.  Oh,  before  we  go…go  Bucs!”  

Tanner:  “Yeah.  Go  Bucs!”  

.    .    .    .    .  

The  Bible  is  old.  Really,  really  old.  The  newest  parts  of  it  were  written  within  years  of  Jesus’  death.  The  oldest  parts  of  it  were  written  when  ancient  Egypt  was  the  supreme  culture  and  influenced  much  of  the  world.    

What   does   this   mean,   exactly?   Well,   it   means   that   when   we   read   the   Bible,   we   have   to  understand   it  within   the   culture   and   context   in  which   it  was  written.   For   example,  when  studying  the  subject  of  marriage,  we  need  to   look  for  how  scripture  passages  on  marriage  were  similar  to  as  well  as  different  from  how  others  at  that  time  viewed  marriage.  We  need  to   understand   that   the   Hebrew   and   Greek   words   used   in   the   Bible   often   have   a   deeper  meaning  than  our  English  translation.  

Page 4: Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ …...Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ Week’5’–’Weird:’Marriage’ Provided’bySouthRidgeChurch’ Many’times,our’culture’invites’us’to’fit

Why   is   this  helpful?   It’s   helpful  because  understanding   the   scriptures  properly  helps  us   to  understand  the  Biblical  principles,  which  then  helps  us  to  know  how  to  best  apply   it   in  our  lives.  It  helps  us  to  make  wiser  decisions  in  all  areas  of  life.  

This  week,  we’ll   be   looking  deeper   into  what   the  Scriptures   say   about  marriage,   and  how  God’s   way   is  Weird   compared   to   culture.   But   for   now,   take   the   opportunity   to   read   the  following  passages  and  answer  these  questions:    

Read:  Proverbs  12:4;  18:22;  Ephesians  5:21-­‐33;  Genesis  2:18-­‐25    

Questions  to  Consider:    

• In  just  one  sentence,  write  down  a  summary  of  what  you  think  the  Bible  says  about  the  subject  of  marriage.  

• Timothy  Keller  has  written  that  “…marriage,  next  to  our  relationship  to  God  is  the  most  profound  relationship  there  is.”  Do  you  agree  with  this  statement?    Why  or  why  not?  

• How  would  you  currently   rate  your  marriage  on  a  scale  of   1-­‐10?  Would  your  spouse  agree?    

• What   is   one   thing   you   and   your   spouse   can   do   together   to   strengthen   your  relationship?  Will  you  allow  others  to  keep  you  accountable  to  do  it?    

 

Additional  Question  for  those  not  married:  

• Why  is  having  a  proper  understanding  of  marriage  important  to  you?  Write  down  at  least  three  reasons.      

Prayer:  

Heavenly   Father,  we   acknowledge   at   this   time   that   our  marriage   is   a   gift   from   You.    We  confess   that   there   have   been   times   when   we   have   taken   opportunities   to   put   our   own  individual  desires  ahead  of  Your  desires  for  our  relationship.    We  acknowledge  that  marriage  isn’t   easy,   but   we   also   acknowledge   that   the   marriage   relationship   is   a   picture   of   the  relationship  that  Jesus  has  with  His  church  (Ephesians  5:21-­‐32).    We  come  to  You  at  this  time  with   the  desire   to   keep  You   at   the   center  of   our  marriage.    We   ask   that   You  would   lead,  guide  and  protect  every  aspect  of  our  marriage,  from  our  friendship,  to  our  parenting,  to  our  finances   and   even   our   intimate   lives.     And   we   come   to   You   with   a   desire   to   take  opportunities   throughout   this   week   to   reflect   on   how   our   marriage   can   be   a   better  representation  of  the  relationship  you  desire  with  each  of  us.    We  pray  these  things  in  Jesus’  name.    Amen.  

Page 5: Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ …...Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ Week’5’–’Weird:’Marriage’ Provided’bySouthRidgeChurch’ Many’times,our’culture’invites’us’to’fit

 Weird:  Marriage  –  Day  2  of  5  

Within   the   Song   of   Songs,   there   is   a   simple   verse   that  may   easily   be  missed   upon   a   first  reading.   It   reads,   “Catch   all   the   foxes,   those   little   foxes,   before   they   ruin   the   vineyard   of  love,  for  the  grapevines  are  blossoming!”  (Song  of  Songs  2:15)  

Within  a  vineyard,  foxes  can  do  tremendous  damage.  They  dig  holes  and  loosen  the  soil  so  that  the  roots  of  the  vine  will  never  become  stable.  Without  strong  roots,  the  vine  will  die.  Foxes   must   be   dealt   with   and   dealt   with   strongly   for   the   safety   and   protection   of   the  vineyard.  

Within   the   context   of   the   Song   of   Songs,   the   vineyard   symbolizes   the   love   between   a  husband   and   a   wife.   As   their   marriage   relationship   begins   to   blossom,   a   small   group   of  friends   recognizes   some   foxes   that   have   the   potential   to   destroy   the   marriage.   So   they  shout  out  in  unison,  “Catch  all  the  foxes,  those  little  foxes,  before  they  ruin  the  vineyard  of  love.”    

Read:  1  Peter  3    

Questions  to  Consider:    

• What  are  some  of  the  most  common  foxes  that  have  the  potential  to  harm  marriages  today?  List  at  least  ten.  

• What  are  some  of  the  best  ways  to  deal  with  these  foxes  in  a  Godly  way?  

• Do  you   think   that  husbands  and  wives  may   see  potential   dangers  differently?  How  should  a  couple  respond  if  one  spouse  sees  some  foxes  as  a  serious  concern,  but  the  other  believes  they  won’t  cause  serious  problems  long  term?  

• Do  you  see  any   foxes   currently   reeking  havoc  within   the   lives  of  other  couples  you  know?  How  should  you  address  these  concerns  with  them?  

• On   your   own:   Discuss  with   your   spouse   –  What   are   some   potential   foxes   that   are  currently  causing  harm  to  our  marriage?  What  can  we  do  to  root  them  out?  

 

Additional  Question  for  those  not  married:  

• Do  you  see  any   foxes   currently   reeking  havoc  within   the   lives  of  other  couples  you  know?  How  should  you  address  these  concerns  with  them?  

 

 

 

 

Page 6: Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ …...Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ Week’5’–’Weird:’Marriage’ Provided’bySouthRidgeChurch’ Many’times,our’culture’invites’us’to’fit

 

Prayer:    

Father  in  Heaven,  thank  you  for  revealing  to  us  our  selfishness.  Please  continue  to  show  us  areas  where  we  can  lovingly  serve  one  another  and  fill  us  with  a  willingness  to  sacrifice  for  each  other.    Help  us  Lord  Jesus  to  see  each  other  through  Your  loving,  merciful  and  forgiving  eyes.     Please   continue   to   convict   and   reveal   to   us   our   spouse’s   needs.   Provide   your  enlightenment,  Lord,   to  help  us  see  our  own   flaws   first.      Thank  you   for  your   redemptive,  restorative  power  Lord.  We  ask  all  this  in  Jesus  name.    Amen.        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Page 7: Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ …...Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ Week’5’–’Weird:’Marriage’ Provided’bySouthRidgeChurch’ Many’times,our’culture’invites’us’to’fit

 

Weird:  Marriage  –  Day  3  of  5  

Many  people   in  our  culture  today  look  at  the  Bible  as  being  old  fashioned  or  outdated.  But  sometimes,  the  deeper  you  look  into  the  scriptures,  the  more  you’ll  see  that  it  may  not  be  as  old  fashioned  as  once  thought.  

For   example,   the   Book   of   Proverbs   was   written   in   a   time   when  marriage   was   seen   as   a  business   transaction   between   two   families.   A  wife  was   often   sold   to   a   husband,   and   this  transaction   often   benefited   both   families.   The   overall   purpose   of   the   marriage   was   to  provide  a  foundation  for  social  status  and  wealth.    

But  within  the  Proverbs,  God  uses  a  Hebrew  word  for  spouse  that  was  completely  counter-­‐cultural.   In   at   least   one   passage,   the   term   ‘allup   is   used.   Today,   this   term   may   be   best  defined  as  “special  confidant”  or  “best  friend”.    

Think   about   the   implications   of   this   for   a  minute.   God   doesn’t   say   that  marriage   is   about  wealth  or  social  status.  Nor  does  He  say  that  marriage  is  about  emotional  happiness.  Instead,  He  says  that  a  husband  and  wife  should  question  their  compatibility  mostly  on  the  potential  of  their  long-­‐term  friendship.  

 

Read:  Proverbs  17:17;  18:24;  25:17,20;  26:18,19;  27:5,6,9,14,17;  28:23;  29:5  

 

Questions  to  Consider:    

• Do  you  think  that  most  couples  today  marry  their  best  friend?  Explain.  

• What  are  some  of  the  dangers  of  a  couple  marrying  a  romantic  or  sexual  partner  and  not  their  best  friend?  

• What   is   the   difference   between   marrying   a   friend,   and   marrying   someone   for  emotional  happiness?  

• All  people  change  over   time.  What  can  a  couple  do   to  keep   their   friendship   strong  even  as  each  individual’s  interests  change  over  time?  

• In  what  ways  do  you  see  your  spouse  as  your  best  friend?  In  what  ways  can  you  and  your  spouse  grow  in  your  friendship?    

 

Additional  Question  for  those  not  married:  

• How   does   thinking   about   marriage   as   friendship   change   the   way   you   see   other  married  couples?    

Page 8: Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ …...Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ Week’5’–’Weird:’Marriage’ Provided’bySouthRidgeChurch’ Many’times,our’culture’invites’us’to’fit

 

Prayer:    

Heavenly   Father,   we   acknowledge   at   this   time   that   we   do   change   as   time   goes   on.    We  understand   that  we   are   not   the   same   people  we  were  when  we  married,   and   that   years  from  now  we  will   not   be   the   same  people  we   are   today.    We   know   that  we  will   change.    Throughout   these   changes,   we   commit   that   we   will   continually   keep   our   marriage  relationship  and  our  friendship  as  a  tremendous  priority  in  our  lives.    We  pray  that  You  will  give  us  wisdom  in  how  to  do  so,  and  we  give  each  other  permission  to  keep  us  accountable  in  this.  

(For  those  married  with  children)  We  also  acknowledge  that  it  is  sometimes  easier  to  focus  on   being   a   parent   than   it   is   to   focus   on   being   a   spouse.     And   we   pray   today   that   our  relationship   will   be   a   reflection   of   the   marriage   we   want   our   children   to   have   and  experience.     That   our  marriage   relationship  will   be   of   greater   importance   to   us   than   our  relationship  with  our  children,  or  any  other  person.  

Father,  we  don’t  wish  to  simply  maintain  our  marriage  relationship,  instead  our  desire  is  for  our  marriage  to  grow  and  mature  to  a  level  we  never  thought  possible.    And  we  ask  that  You  will  continue  to  guide  and   lead  us  with  this   in  mind.    We  pray  these  things   in  Jesus’  name.    Amen.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Page 9: Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ …...Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ Week’5’–’Weird:’Marriage’ Provided’bySouthRidgeChurch’ Many’times,our’culture’invites’us’to’fit

Weird:  Marriage  –  Day  4  of  5    

The  Song  of  Songs   is  short  book   in   the  Old  Testament  with  a   lot  of  history.  While  nobody  knows   for  certain   the   full  meaning  of   the  poem,   it   regularly  describes   the   love  between  a  husband  and  wife.  Many  scholars  see  that  the  Song  of  Songs  shows  specific  elements  of  an  ideal  marriage,  weaving  love  into  every  aspect  of  the  relationship.      

Throughout  the  poem,  there  are  three  different  Hebrew  words  that  translate  to  the  English  word,   love.   Two   of   those   words   are   ra’yah,   and   dōd.   On   nine   different   occasions,   the  husband   refers   to   his   bride   as   his   ra’yah   –   his   close   friend   and   companion.   On   thirty-­‐one  different  occasions,  the  bride  refers  to  her  husband  as  her  dōd  –  her  passionate  lover.    

In   other  words,   the   husband   and  wife   both   speak   positively   about   one   another   and   their  marriage.  In  fact,  it’s  more  than  positive,  it’s  language  that  ignites  a  fire  in  their  marriage  and  keeps  it  burning  strong.      

Read:  Song  of  Songs  Chapters  1-­‐4    

Questions  to  Consider:    

• Without  looking  at  additional  resources,  how  would  you  define  the  word,  “love”?    

• If   somebody  asked  you,  “What   is   the  best  way   to   stay   ‘in   love’  with  your   spouse,”  how  would  you  respond?    

• What  are  some  creative  things  you  can  do  incorporate  more  love  into  your  marriage?    

• Wives:  How  would   it  make  you  feel   if  your  husband  regularly  referred  to  you  as  his  ra’yah?  (i.e.  If  he  referred  to  you  as  his  darling,  or  closest  friend  and  companion?)  

• Husbands:  How  would   it  make  you  feel   if  your  wife  regularly  referred  to  you  as  her  dōd?  (i.e.  If  she  referred  to  you  as  her  passionate  lover?)  

• Overall,   what   would   be   at   least   three   benefits   to   speaking   positively   about   your  spouse  to  him/her  as  well  as  to  others  at  all  times?    

 

Prayer:  

This  week,  each  of  you  should   take   the  opportunity   to  write  out  your  own  prayer   to  God.    Pray  in  such  a  way  that  your  desire  is  for  the  holiness  of  your  spouse,  and  how  you  can  help  them  become  a  more  godly  person  than  they  already  are.    Read  your  prayer  to  your  spouse  on  your  own  sometime  this  week.    If  you  have  children,  you  may  want  to  consider  reading  it  in   front  of  them  as  well.    Give  them  the  opportunity  to  see  that  marriage   involves  helping  one  another  fall  more  deeply  in  love  with  God.  

Page 10: Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ …...Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ Week’5’–’Weird:’Marriage’ Provided’bySouthRidgeChurch’ Many’times,our’culture’invites’us’to’fit

Weird:  Marriage  –  Day  5  of  5  

Ra’yah  (friendship,  companionship)  and  dōd  (sexual   love)  are  two  different  Hebrew  words  for  love  that  are  used  throughout  the  Song  of  Songs.  But  there’s  another  Hebrew  word  that  is  prominent  in  the  Song  as  well,  and  that  is  ahabah.    

The   Hebrew   word   ahabah   may   be   best   understood   as   service   or   commitment.   Both   the  husband  and  the  wife  are  committed  to  one  another  and  their  marriage  more  than  they’re  committed  to  themselves  as  individuals.  Not  only  that,  but  they  agree  to  serve  one  another  in  all  circumstances  for  the  betterment  of  their  marriage.  

Joseph  and  Linda  Dillow,  authors  of  “Intimacy  Ignited,”  write  the  following:  

“…   couples   fuel   ahabah   love   by   responding   to   each   other  with   a   blessing  when   hurt,   by  putting  the  needs  of  the  other  first,  and  by  committing  to  persevere  through  the  hard  times  so   that   love   is   characterized   by   lifelong   commitment.   The   Song   has   been   building   to   this  point   (Song  of   Songs  8:6-­‐7).   Then  an  even  more  astonishing   claim   is  made.   This   love,   this  ahabah,   is   given   the  highest   appellation  possible:   Its   “flashes”   are   the   very   “flame  of   the  Lord.”  What  are  these  “flashes”?  The  flashes  of  ahabah  include  the  sparks  of  sexual  passion,  but   the   intensity  of   the  passion   comes   from   the   companionship,   service,   sacrifice,   loyalty,  and  commitment  the  couple  bestow  on  each  other.”    

 “It  takes  all  three  types  of  love  to  keep  the  flame  burning  for  a  lifetime.  The  fire  of  sexual  love   (dod)   will   eventually   burn   out   if   not   fueled   by   committed,   servant   love   (ahabah).   A  marriage  based  on  friendship  love  (rayah)—  with  no  sexual  love  (dod)—  will  seem  cool  and  passionless.   But  when   all   three   fuel   the   flame,   love   builds   and   grows   until   it   becomes   an  unquenchable  bonfire.”  –  Intimacy  Ignited,  Dillow  and  Pintus  –  p.257  

 

Read:  Song  of  Songs  Chapters  5-­‐8    

Questions  to  Consider:    

• What  are  three  ways  you  think  men  and  women  are  different?  • Given  the  differences  between  men  and  women,  in  what  ways  do  these  differences  

make  it  hard  for  a  husband  and  wife  to  serve  one  another?    • Given  the  differences  between  men  and  women,  in  what  ways  do  these  differences  

make  it  easy  for  a  husband  and  wife  to  serve  one  another?    • Practically   speaking,   what   do   you   think   ahabah   love  would   look   like   in   a  marriage  

today?  • What   steps   can   you   and   your   spouse   take   to   experience   ahabah  more   regularly   in  

your  marriage?  

Page 11: Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ …...Weird:’Message’Series’Devotional’ Week’5’–’Weird:’Marriage’ Provided’bySouthRidgeChurch’ Many’times,our’culture’invites’us’to’fit

Prayer:    

Heavenly  Father,  at  this  time  we  come  to  you  seeking  wisdom  in  how  we  can  be  more  loving  toward  one  another.    We  recognize  that  we  sometimes  see  “love”  as  an  emotional  feeling  and  not  as  something  we  do  for  one  another.    But  it  is  our  desire  to  “be  loving”  toward  one  another.     As   your   Word   says,   we   wish   to   “submit   to   one   another   out   of   reverence   for  Christ,”  and  that  by  doing  so  we’re  able  to  see  one  another  for  the  person  You  have  made  us  to  be.    We  know  that  the  relationship  You  desire  to  have  with  each  of  us  is  strong,  and  we  pray   that   throughout   this   week   our   relationship   with   one   another   is   reflective   of   Your  relationship  with  us.    We  pray  these  things  in  Jesus’  name.    Amen.