weicome matters

© 2011 Copyright Lynette Hawkins, All Rights Reserved. Copying any part of this

document must be granted permission by author.

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HOSPITALITY

GUIDE: Practices

That Lead First

Time Visitors

to Return

Written by Lynette R. Hawkins



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Published by

beyond marketing group, inc.

AWESOME INSIGHT

www.awesomeinsight.com

(336) 854-4196

http://www.awesomeinsight.com/



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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Why Welcoming Matters

Things I Love About Friendly Churches

Reasons You May Not See Some Visitors Again

7 Habits of Warm Friendly Churches

May I get a Smile with that Handshake

What Are Reasons Visitors Come Back?

3 Tips to Encourage Hospitality

What Will Happen to Your Guests This Sunday?

Attitude is Everything!

Smiles Are Contagious

Start Connecting

How Do I Get In?

Will Visitors Come at the Right Time?

A Search for Common Ground

Hospitality Resources Available from Beyond Marketing Group, Inc.



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WHY WELCOME MATTERS

Romans 12:13 NIV

“Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”

Sometimes congregations underestimate the value of welcoming when preparing

for Sunday morning worship service. Sometimes more focus is placed on whether

there will be cookies after church at coffee hour while possibly overlooking the

possibility that guests may be seeking a place where they can find hope, peace

and a spiritual connection. If more congregations were to recognize the value of a

smile and a friendly hello, they would more likely communicate the love of Christ

in a compelling way that more effectively reaches strangers in the midst of the

church family.

Experiencing God’s love through people’s actions and the entire experience can

be just as meaningful or more to first time visitors than anything that may be said

during a worship experience. Why because first time visitors are often looking for

the signs of what makes a worship experience different than going to a baseball

game or a club meeting.

As you read the musings shared in this e-book, we encourage you to share them

with friends and ministry team members as you make room to welcome.

Blessings,



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Things I Love About Friendly Churches

I’ve been thinking about why I like churches that appear friendly and easy to visit again. I am curious to know what others feel about friendly churches. Have you ever been to a worship experience where the people and the atmosphere bubbled over with making you feel welcomed? As we get into the summer months, I cannot help but think about some of your stories. Sometimes summer offers a chance to visit while vacationing or in the neighborhood. Just like you, we all have things we like.

Personally, I have come up with my own list of favorite things that I love about warm and friendly churches.

1. Good Seats -There’s always a “good seat” for you. Friendly church people move down the pew and let you sit on the corner seat.

2. Welcoming People – Somebody is going to speak first and make you feel welcomed.

3. Personal Escorts -It’s not hard to find your way around because someone is always there to say, “Can I help you find something?”

4. Christian Love – The worship experience feels right because you can feel the presence of God from the moment you walk in the worship space.

Let me know your top four favorite things.

Warmly,

Lynette Hawkins

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Reasons You May Not See Some Visitors Again!

Congregations often wonder why some worship service visitors come only one time. Getting guests back for a second trip has some pastors and ministry leaders baffled. Research studies indicate that people decide whether they will ever return during the early moments of a worship service visit. This sometimes before the pastor gets up to preach.

First time visitors notice a lot within the first moments of impression. From what happens in the parking lot to the pews, the first impression can shape a visitor’s

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feeling about a church visit. Did anyone speak? Was it confusing on where to enter the sanctuary? Although worship experiences may vary by faith tradition, some of the biggest reasons first-time visitors may not come back happens within the early moments of arrival.

What do visitors really notice when they visit for the very first time? This question may be on the minds of many church leaders as they see empty pews after a holiday. Here is a starter list of common reasons visitors may not come back. Addressing items on this list may help to create a welcoming church that gets repeat visits. These 15 items listed were generated from multiple conversations with first-time visitors across faith traditions:

1. No welcome from the parking lot to the pews. 2. Finding the right door to sanctuary appeared difficult. 3. Members in the pews held on to their “good seats.” 4. Too many words seemed like “churchy insider words” throughout the

worship experience. 5. No safe, clean nursery for the babies and little ones. 6. No welcoming and sincere greeting extended by pastors or members. 7. No warmth or hospitality extended. 8. Missing joy and a spiritual atmosphere. 9. No sense of Christian love and family in the church community. 10. Very limited reaching out to people who are not members or strangers. 11. Very few ministries or activities for youth or children. 12. Public recognition of worship service visitors that left them feeling

uncomfortable or awkward 13. Appears to be no obvious vision or purpose for the congregation. 14. On Sunday morning, members and ushers seem focused on “in-house,

member only” conversations. 15. No one invited them back.

What can your congregation do to be more welcoming?



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7 Habits of a Warm Church

Is your church a warm church? How can you tell? Recently, I sat across from a woman that was reading the book by Stephen Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. The thought of this book prompted me to ponder the thought of what makes up the seven habits of a warm church? Every time I have talked to new members or discussed sharing a warm welcome in workshops, I almost always hear, demonstrating warmth begins with a smile. So to answer the question at the beginning of this paragraph, one of the ways to tell if your congregation will ever be accused of being warm is to look for smiling faces.

Smiles are at the heart of a warm church, but that's not all that matters. When we send worship guest evaluators into congregations they see things from outsiders' views. They see how people treat one another; what people say to each other and how open the congregation appears to outsiders. Interestingly, the congregations that appear to have high marks in warmth also seem to draw others to their ministries. They invite visitors to come back; they share information about ministries and they pay attention and welcome people who they do not know. What are the signs of a warm church? Smiling is part of it but there are other habits that seem to generate the warmth and spirit of churches that treat people

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with sincere, genuine, Christian love. The list below is seven themes we have often heard when talking with new members or worship guests about their visits to various churches. The churches that are labeled warm seem to do the following.

1. Smile a lot. 2. Make guests feel like VIP's (Very Important People). 3. Get names of guests and use these names in conversation. 4. Break the ice during worship service with a time for fellowship. 5. Treat people like their family (God's family). 6. Invite people back in a way that shows they mean it. 7. Minister to others.



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May I Get a Smile with that Handshake?

"May I get a smile with that shake" is what comes to mind when I think about hospitality at many of our churches. That comment reminds me of our fast food chains but in this situation I am talking about the church. Recently I had the opportunity to visit a few worship services and was amazed how often people can shake your hand and never share a smile.

Welcoming is a ministry. Yes we are reminded so often in the Bible to practice hospitality but does every Christian get that? Should it be left to the ushers or greeters to be the only ones to share smiles and well wishes with newcomers? I don't think so. Romans 12:13 reminds us to "Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." It is that simple.

Recently, I spent time at a national usher’s convention. I was absolutely excited to witness the smiles, enthusiasm and commitment to hospitality shared by this group. One lead usher in my leadership workshop, shared that he makes great effort to encourage people with friendly personalities to consider being ushers. Now can you imagine what would happen if every congregation had that as one of the requirements for ushering?

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Add "sincere smile" to your list of criteria for greeters, ushers and people who will be on the front lines of your ministry. As I shared at the convention, we do not know why people end up on the doors of our congregations but we do know, God sent them.

If you're a volunteer in any area of the church, carry a smile with every handshake. It's contagious! You'll be happy to see the smiles that come back at you.



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What Are Reasons Visitors Come Back?

What encourages comeback visits? Sometimes the reason, we struggle with

seeing return visitors on Sunday morning is because of the atmosphere. Is your

church a friendly church? Really, really? Do you warmly welcome complete

strangers?

At our ARK (Attract, Reach, Keep) workshops I often hear members say, "We're a very friendly church." Then we send a worship evaluator and the experience is very different. "What happened?" one pastor stated after we made two visits to his church. The simple answer is that too often we smile, greet and laugh with people we know but the complete stranger is ignored and rarely welcomed. Let us illustrate what our evaluators have discovered.

Here's a case in point. A worship evaluator visited a church. She arrived 15 minutes early came to a pew seat and sat down. Throughout the first 15 minutes, ushers passed the seat, members sat down and others walked in. Once the worship service started there was "Passing of the Peace." The church came alive and people walked around the sanctuary greeting. The worship evaluator stood

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and a few members touched her hand while they hurried to greet or comment to another member friend. Sound familiar? At the end of the visit, the evaluator waited 10 minutes in the church entrance and the only person to share, "Come again" was the pastor. Sound familiar?

I hope not, but in case you're looking for ideas to encourage comeback visits, here is what our evaluators suggest:

1. Smile and greet everyone. 2. Say the word, "Welcome" often 3. Look around and speak especially to the people you do not know. 4. Pastor: During greet time during worship, suggest members greet visitors

before they greet each other. 5. Pastor & Members: Make every effort to invite someone back.

Now Ask Your Ministry Team Members, What are some ways your congregation

encourages return visits?



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Will Visitors Come at the Right Time?

Welcoming: Will Visitors Come at the Right Time?

Can you imagine what goes on in the minds of people who are not churched before they make their first steps to your church’s doorsteps? I wonder how many times they had to overcome the word, “no” to get to yes I am going to church? I wonder what may have stopped them from going to church in the first place? I wonder what will happen if the first person they meet shows them Christian love? As we prepare for Sunday, now may be a great time to put on the shoes of people without church homes and get ready to welcome people who may or may not look or act like you. Recently I met a gentleman I’ll call Ron, who was returning to church after years of not attending. Ron had seen a local pastor on a cable television station and decided it was time to venture out to that pastor’s church. Instead of visiting the regular worship service, he first went to their Bible study. This is where I met Ron. When I asked him how he got to the church, his answer was simply, “I couldn’t say no anymore.” Wow! In some cases it may be that simple. As we know we serve an awesome God.

Some unchurched people experience a lot of no’s before ever arriving at the doors of the church. Before they arrive to your door they may have said no when a co-worker invited them to church. Then they may have said “no” when they got a flier about a fall concert and then “no” when they noticed the banner on the lawn of the church and “no” when they saw a local preacher sharing an inspiring message on television. But then one day … the words, “Yes I am going to church” are uttered.

If your congregation is seeking to be even more faithful to the Great Commission, you may have these questions:” What can we do to give new comers every reason to believe they made the right decision to visit our church? How will we entertain



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strangers who come in our midst?” To give you a few ideas, here are 7 practices that we hear growing congregations practice. Some of these may be new to your ministry.

1. Be intentional about saying “welcome.” Assign greeters to entrances and key areas of the church.

2. Teach hospitality. Share biblical hospitality stories in Bible study, Sunday School and during worship.

3. Encourage the people with friendly personalities to serve as “unofficial greeters” at worship, special services, receptions and throughout the life of the congregation.

4. Remind members that we honor Christ by sharing our Christian love. 5. Set aside time for personal testimony. Encourage new members to share

how hospitality impacted their first visits. 6. Practice greeting people by sharing your name and introducing yourself. 7. Constantly speak about smiling and welcoming… In newsletter, on

website, in bulletin, small groups, from the pulpit and other times.

Please email me and let us know what your congregation is doing to encourage members to welcome.



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3 Tips to Encourage Awesome Hospitality

Recently we sent several worship evaluators to visit a congregation that wanted to evaluate its ministry hospitality. Consistently each evaluator came back with a question mark on hospitality. As much as the congregation had ushers, greeters and a welcoming bulletin, yet there was something missing... warm hospitality. Here are 3 ways to encourage hospitality.

1. Treat guests as priorities. Courtesy and respect come to mind when thinking of Sunday visitors. Being courteous goes beyond saying hello at the door but sharing a pew, a hymnal or simply walking someone to their destination (i.e. nursery or restroom). When we become accustom to giving the priority to guest hospitality may be easier.

2. Realize everyone is special. Appreciate all people...members, non-members and your staff. Excellence in hospitality happens when we show Christian love for all our brothers and sisters.

3. Train the frontline. Take the time to give training to ushers, greeters, and the people who sit in the pews. Help to encourage a mindset for hospitality by letting others know what people notice when they visit. Raise the bar on hospitality by making it a priority.

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Bonus Tip: Lead by example. Be sure your officers and leaders are living examples of hospitality. Solicit the support of leadership first. Then make sure its shared throughout the ministry.

What Will Happen to Your Guests This Sunday?

Will guests feel welcomed if they get invited this Sunday? I can't help but ask this question. When I think about the conversations I have had with church folks who go quiet when I ask, "have you invited a non-churched friend to visit this year?" The odd look some people give about evangelism or sharing our faith often makes me ponder the question, what would happen if these people did invite someone? As we prepare for the holidays or simply next Sunday, giving thought to preparing our hearts and minds to openly welcome others to share the Good News of Jesus Christ is something we all must pray. It takes so much for a non-churched person to get up the "nerve" to walk in the doors of a sanctuary. Our most earnest prayer is that members will greet each and every person with sincere, Christian love.

"Make every effort to show your Christian love" is the "M" step we share in our W.A.R.M. approach to welcoming shared in our Awesome Welcome! seminar. When we invite and bring others to the love of God, our hearts and minds must be open to receiving them and building friendships. As I shared in a recent seminar, friendships are just one way we can continue to share our faith one-on-one and nurture those growing in faith. Showing our Christian love through friendship can strengthen one's faith and demonstrate a welcome that illustrates our love for Jesus. If you are not sure how to "make every effort to show your Christian love",



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start with a prayer for friendships. Take a close look at how you welcome guests this upcoming holiday season. Communicate with members, ushers and greeters how to warmly greet new friends this season. Be sure they know the importance of making every effort to show their love. If you're not sure what to let them know, here are a few ideas from our Awesome Welcome! seminar. Leading up to the holidays:

Pray. Warmly smile. Speak first. Always introduce yourself Take the time for small talk, like the kids' names and ages.

Connect to what you have in common.



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Attitude is Everything!

Do your ushers smile when worship guests approach? Will they take the time to say, "Good morning, welcome to Faith Fellowship Church. We're glad you're here?" A simple greeting like that can make the difference to someone who steps off the street. A while ago, I spoke with a man that had gone back to church after being away for many years. As he revealed his story, he told me how much courage it took for him to walk up the steps to his "old church." For years, he had been away from church enjoying the "good life" and putting very little thought on anything besides a good time on Saturday night. It was not until he began to have health problems that prevented him from working that he decided to visit church. He described that first Sunday morning as the most difficult. He had to face people who possibly knew him and knew he had not been there. To his surprise, the first face he saw removed all of the anxiety and fear he had. The very first person he saw was an old high school friend who was an usher. Her initial response was a huge grin and warm embrace with the words, "I'm so glad to see you." At that moment, he knew he was home. As I remember his story, I cannot help but wonder what your ushers would say if they saw a long lost friend return to church?

Attitudes impact first impressions. How we respond to people during the very first moments of a visit can make a significant impact on their entire impression. Everybody has a story. Some first-time visitors are church shopping; while others have been meaning to attend worship but years slipped by without a visit. Regardless of the story, each first time guest comes to the doors of the church not knowing how they will be greeted. A warm hello, a friendly smile or a simple



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"welcome" can be all that's needed to bring that individual closer to Christ. I must ask the question again, are the doors of your church warmly open?

Large or small, take a close look at how you welcome guests on Sunday. Take the time to train the ushers and greeters who are likely the first impression team. Be sure they know the things that matter most when a person walks in. Leading up to the holidays:

Smile! Always speak first with a warm greeting. Give eye contact and a friendly face. Greet unfamiliar faces with Christian Love. When in doubt ask yourself, "What would Jesus do?"



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Start Connecting on Sunday!

"Good morning, my name is_____." Sound familiar? At warm, friendly, growing congregations you may hear this introduction often. Congregations that connect with new comers have members that introduce themselves and begin to uncover information about the new comer that may connect to current members. Let me take the above dialogue further. After the introduction a member may ask, "Are you new to the area? The visitor might respond, "Yes, I am from Hawaii." Immediately the opportunity to start connecting begins. It is that simple.

Finding common ground is an easy way to assist in the formation of new friendships and relationships. It is also an easy way to begin to integrate new people into a congregation. We are all meant to have friends. Helping people discover others that share their interests help to make the church even more relevant to needs.

Connecting common ground requires making an effort to get to know new people and uncover the connectors. As I think about how this happens in many congregations, these ideas come to mind.





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Create Greeter Script. Arm greeters with what to say to Sunday guests and how to find out enough information to connect them to members of the church.

Assign members with outgoing personalities to the greeter roles. Seek members who like to meet people to serve as connectors or greeters for newcomers.

Inventory your congregation and identify the common connectors. Common connectors can include hobbies, home towns, schools, children's ages, profession, neighborhood, previous denomination and the list goes on.

Give people opportunity to connect. Host brief receptions following worship service so that members and guests have time to talk.

Be on new face alert! Get members in the habit of seeking out guests and talking with them even before talking with members.

Connect, Connect, Connect!



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A Search for Common Ground

Have you ever walked into a room full of strangers? How did you strike conversation? Recently I conducted a workshop with a room full of strangers. Many of the people did not know each other and none of them knew me. However, we all left as friends. How? I would say it had a lot to do with finding common ground. From finding out we had friends in common to realizing that some of us did not like sushi our conversations uncovered our likeness.

Common ground as I define it is that place where we connect in our "likeness" In other words, common ground may be the home town we're from or the high school we attended or the fact that we both like a specific football team. Whatever the spot, common ground opens us up to the possibility for friendships.

Several months I had a conversation with a young man in his 20's. He was assisting me as I checked out of the hotel. I told him that I often speak with church leaders about ways to reach young adults. I then asked him what he would suggest I share to older adults who may want to reach younger generations, his answer..."Common Ground." He suggested that we take the time to talk to people and find out who they are and what they like. Then he said we could introduce people to people who share that common ground. The more I talk to young adults, the more I realize how we can all benefit from this young man's advice about common ground. If we take the time to uncover our likeness we can surely build new friendships that cross ages, genders, marital status and cultures. As a people-person, I enjoy connecting people. In talking with some of the people I coach, I learned that this is a gift. To help those of us who may be somewhat shy

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in reaching out to people especially those that are not in our generation, here's a short list of tips. These may be real helpful for ministry leaders who want to reach out on Sunday mornings:

Smile and be willing to talk Be open to share your hobbies and interests Listen for clues that may link newcomers to other members IPTOP= Introduce People To Other People!

It really can be that simple. What are ways you connect people to one another?



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Are Smiles Contagious?

Do you start smiling when someone smiles at you? You may want to answer this question by doing your own homework. Next time you see a guest at church simply smile. See what happens. If you have eye contact, a sincere smile and a loving spirit, a smile will bounce back at you. Similar to yawns, smiles have a contagious effect.

Congregations that welcome know how to smile. I am convinced of that. Every month I try to visit a church that is not mine. When I go, I notice the smiles on faces of those around me. I wonder how many of our worship guests encounter smiles? Can you imagine what it feels like to visit a church where everyone has a sour face? Some times we forget what a smile says. Recently, I asked a few people just that.

What does a smile say to you when you are a guest at a church?

Here are some of the answers:

"Smiles say you're friendly." "Smiles show you are open to conversation." "Smiles make it easy to have conversation." "Smiles make you approachable." "When people smile I feel more comfortable." "Smiling makes me feel they are happy."

What do smiles say to you?



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How Do I Get In?

"How do I get in?" I heard a worship guest ask this question as we approached a church I was visiting two weeks ago. The question came after looking at three doors that face the parking lot with no exterior signs directing people from the parking lot. This experience makes me ponder; can a parking lot sign really be an evangelism tool?

What do outdoor church signs say to visitors? These signs are part of the experience. They help to welcome, direct and provide a feeling of comfort when visiting a church for the very first time. Sometimes a sign serves as the only indicator that the sanctuary door is in the rear. Other times the outdoor signs are the first point of contact that moves someone to feel welcomed. We are not completely sure what a sign will do to convince someone to stay but we do know that not having outdoor signs may be frustrating enough to cause someone not to stay or come back.



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As Christmas approaches and congregations prepare to celebrate, are we really ready to welcome? Sometimes we spend lots of times and even money bringing out the wreaths, the ribbons, lights and holly but we forget the simple task of preparing hearts and minds to truly welcome others.

Now may be a good time to take an inventory of your welcoming signs. Walk around your church. What may keep someone from coming inside? Will guests have to ask someone how to get to the sanctuary? Is it obvious where the parking lot is located? Let me know what you think. Are outdoor church signs a reason people may not come back?



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Will You Give the Best Welcome?

Will Sunday guests feel welcomed? People may appear on your church door step who have been away for years. Some of them may be inactive members while others are individuals who simply don't go to church. How prepared are your members to greet, welcome and go out of their way to give people every reason to want to return? Last week, I had a conversation with a friend who grew up going to church but has drifted away from her home church. It sounds like she is planning to attend her home church on Sunday. I cannot help but wonder how she will be received? Will the members give her every reason to want to return? Will she encounter folks who say, "Where have you been? or We're so glad to see you." How we welcome matters.

Strangers and even inactive members are looking for some signs that they made

the right decision to come to church this Sunday. It may be time for us to brush

up on ways we can be hospitable and show signs of true Christian love.

When I think about it, I am reminded that we should prepare for the BEST. Here

are a few ways

Give guests the BEST parking with reserve guest spaces. Give guests the BEST welcoming with cookies and coffee after worship Give guests the BEST feeling by having greeters stationed at doors to

welcome Give guests the BEST experience by teaching members to be pew greeters

and show Christian love during worship. Give guests-kids the BEST smile with small tokens to make them feel glad

their parents brought them Give guests the BEST welcoming communication via a welcoming bulletin,

brochure or other items shared that Sunday

B-E-S-T!



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By now, you probably get the picture. As we reach out to make disciples, sharing

God's best with others can make a difference.

To successfully and consistently welcome, you may need the right people and

resources in place to warmly extend Christian love. That is where our

communications specialists come in.

As communication specialists that help congregations be equipped to attract,

reach and keep those who are yet to come through better intentional

communications.

With our communication coaching, congregations have access to practical

solutions that help them welcome on site, on websites and social media to be

even more equipped to make disciples.

To Learn More About How Beyond Marketing Group, Inc. Can

Help You Lift Barriers to Communications…Visit


[email protected]

mailto:[email protected]



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CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL HOSPITALITY RESOURCES

Visit Our Resource Store at


Make Room to Welcome DVD $49.99

A hospitality training DVD for ushers, greeters and members. Use this

DVD to jumpstart mindset for welcoming at your church. This thirty-five

minute DVD is interactive and offers a wealth of ideas to encourage participants

to say hello, escort guests to destinations in the church and slide down

the pew so others can be seated. A leader’s guide is included.

W.A.R.M. Welcome Cards & Leader’s Guide $9.95

Use this quick easy W.A.R.M. formula at a refresher meeting to encourage ushers, greeters and members to show their Christian love. Give every attendee a card to remind them how to welcome visitors. Comes with leader’s guide and 25 cards to a pack.

USHERS: Creating an Extraordinary Welcome! $14.95

This e-book offers guides for pastors, lead ushers and ministries to shape

training for ushers. The guide book includes duties, responsibilities, ideas

for pre and post worship duties, how to lead ushering ministry, prayers,

agendas and tips to effectively welcome as ushers.



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Training Exercises for Ushers & Greeters

$9.95

This e-book offers ideas to jumpstart training sessions for ushers and greeters.

If you’re looking for an icebreaker or exercise to reinforce training, start a meeting or simply train use this e-book. These exercises work independently or as

part of your training session.

Hospitality Tool Kit

$14.95

This e-book offers ideas to welcome. From tips on what makes a welcoming

image to check list for taking a walk around the facility, this e-book gives

pastors, evangelism teams and hospitality teams tools to use to start a hospitality ministry or

move to the next level in ministry hospitality.

Worship Service Evaluator

$250

Are your members aware of how you welcome? Does anyone say hello beyond the pastor? What's it like to sit in your pews? Get answers to these and more with a visit from a trained evaluator. See things from an outsider's view. Receive a complete written report for the church leadership. Hospitality Coaching sessions also available.

.



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About Lynette R. Hawkins

About the Author

Lynette Hawkins writes, speaks and presents

seminars on topics relating to effectively

communicating to reach the next generation of

disciples. Her practical tips shared are based on her

years of experience in marketing, ministry

communications and consulting. Lynette has ushered

and greeted too.

She is an elder in her church, the lead consultant for

Awesome Insight, an initiative of Beyond Marketing

Group, Inc. Her articles appear in Christian

publications and she was recently interviewed about

hospitality on TCT (Total Christian Television). She is

an active blogger at blog.awesomeinsight.com. If you

would like to contact Lynette, you can reach her at

[email protected] or

facebook.com/awesomeinsight. Her website is

www.awesomeinsight.com. Please sign up for her

free e-newsletter, The A-R-K Report.

mailto:[email protected]

http://www.awesomeinsight.com/



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