weekly english · 2020-07-10 · streets un2l he made it back to the fish market. finally he...
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Weekly English
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Monday 13th July 2020 StepstoSuccess:• pasttense• 3rdperson• powerfuladjec2ves&expandednounphrasestodescribescene• characterisa2onthroughtheuseofcommasandsemi-colonstocreatealist
useofbracketsanddashesforparenthesis(addi2onaldetailsaboutthesubjectofthesentence)
• powerfulverbsandadverbialphrasestogivedetailsaboutthemaincharacters
• varietyofsentencelengths• useofdialoguetoconveythepersonalityofthecharacter• powerofthreeindescrip2ons• specificnounphrasestoconveyclaritytothereader
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LI:Towriteextendedsentencesusingcommas,bracketsordashesforparenthesis.
Jim, ,shuffledoutofbed.George( )knockedonthedoorofthebighouse.Shrimps- -lookedpaleandsickly.
Whatphrasescouldyouaddbetweenthecommas,bracketsordashesthatwilltellthereadersomethingnewaboutthesecharacters?
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Possiblephrases:Jim,whohadonlyjustwokenup,shuffledoutofbed.George(havingalreadywarnedJimtobeonhisbestbehaviour)knockedonthedoorofthegrandhouse.Shrimps–lyingunderaraggedblankettokeepwarm -lookedpaleandsickly.
No2cehowthisembeddedphraseisalsoarela2veclause?
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Lookbackthroughyourplanfromlastweek.Whichsec2onsmakeuptheintroduc2ontoyouraddi2onalchapter?
Formystory,I’mgoingtoincludesec4ons1,2and3inmyintroduc4on,asthosepartsleadJimtothepointofmee4ngthechimneysweep.Sec4ons4-8willbemymainstoryandtheresolu4onwillbethelasttwosec4ons.
LI:Towritetheintroduc2onofanaddi2onalchaptertoStreetChild.
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Lookatyourstepstosuccessandtrytoincludetheseasyouwrite.
Nowwriteyouropening.
Exhausted,Jimclumsilypulledhiswayoutfromtheoldteachesthe’dbeentryingtosleepinaFeryetanotherdisturbednight.Stretchingtorelievethes4ffnessinhislimps,hecasthiseyesoverthesleepingbundlesofraggedboyshuddledtogetheralongtherooFopofthelocalfishmarket.Charlie,ascrawnyfiveyearoldladwho’drecentlyjoinedthem,hadscreamedintermiMentlythroughoutthenight,wakingupfromterriblenightmares.Theotherboysaroundhimhadtriedtocomforthimatfirst,buteventuallyeventheyhadrunoutofpa4enceandthreatenedCharliethatifhedidn’tshutup,theythrowhimofftheroof.JimhadtakenpityontheladandofferedCharlietosharethesmallshelterofhisteachest.Duringthenight,Charliehadsobbedsohard,thatJimwrappedhisthinarmsaroundCharlie’seventhinneronesandrockedhimtosleepintheearlyhoursofthemorning.
Thisismymodelfromsec2onone:(No4cethatmysec4ons–orchapters-aredifferentlengths.)
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NowitwasfiveinthemorningandthemarketworkerswerearrivingtosetuptheirstallswithfishbroughtuptheRiverThamesfromthecoastaltownsofHerneBayandWhitby,caughtovernightintheNorthSeabyweathered,redfacedfishermen.Fresh,spoMedplaicewiththeirstrangeeyesalongthetopoftheirheads;blueandsilverstrippedmackerel-somewithshrivelledskinwherethey’dbeensmoked;silverscaledseabassstackedheadtotailandhugechunksofwhitehake;allpackedintocratesofice,withcatchesofredlobsters,browncrabsandgreyshrimps-s4llmovingintheircrampedbaskets.Thenoises4rredtheotherboysandJimknewthathe’dhavetobequickifhestoodachanceofgrabbingsomethingforbreakfast.ScramblingofftherooFop,andshinningdowntheoldblackguMeringattheendoftheroof,Jimthreadedhiswaythroughthestalls.Dodgingtheheavycratesthatwerebeingunloadedfromthedock,Jimstolebehindoneofthelargepillarsatthesouthsideofthemarket,nearesttheriver.Hewatched.Asquickasaflash,Jimsnatchedoutahandandretrievedasmallsmokedmackerel(hisfavourite)fromastallwhoseownerhadturnedhisbacktohaulupanothercrate.Hestuffedthemackerelinsidehisshirtandcreptoutofthemarket.Findingaoverturnedbarrelfurtherdownthedock,awayfromthemarket,Jimpulledouthispreciousbreakfastandbegantostuffitinhismouthbeforeanyonefromthemarket,oranotherhungryboy,couldstealitawayfromhim.
Thisismymodelfromsec2ontwo:
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ARerabout20minutes,Jimmeanderedhiswaybackthroughthefishmarket.Hewaswatchingtwomenwhowerestrugglingtocarryaverylargecrateofhalibut,whenhebumpedintoamanwalkingtheotherway.Thetall,slimmanwaspushingawoodencartfulloflongbrushesforsweepingchimneys.HestoppedasJimmumbledanapologyandquicklyturnedawaytoavoidapoten2albea2ng.“Heyyouboy!”calledthechimneysweep.“D’yaliveround‘ere?”“Don’tlivenowheremate,”Jimreplied.“Youupforabito’working?Showmeyousarms.Yougotanymuscles?”JimlookedratherconfusedbutliRedhisscrawnyarmandshowedthemanhismuscles.ThesweepchuckledandpointedatJim’sarms.“Youscall‘emmusclesdoyalad?Well,neva’mind,thethinnerthebe^er.Youcomewivmean’I’llseeyousright.Wantsomegrub?Mymisses’llseeyousorted.”SoJimwentwithhim.
Thisismymodelofsec2onthree:
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Readbackthroughyourwri2ng.Howmanyofyourstepstosuccesshaveyouincluded?Makesureyouincludeanymissingonesintomorrow’swri2ng.
Plenary:
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Tuesday 14th July 2020 StepstoSuccess:• pasttense• 3rdperson• powerfuladjec2ves&expandednounphrasestodescribescene• characterisa2onthroughtheuseofcommasandsemi-colonstocreatealistuse
ofbracketsanddashesforparenthesis(addi2onaldetailsaboutthesubjectofthesentence)
• powerfulverbsandadverbialphrasestogivedetailsaboutthemaincharacters• varietyofsentencelengths• useofdialoguetoconveythepersonalityofthecharacter• powerofthreeindescrip2ons• specificnounphrasestoconveyclaritytothereader
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LI:Tousesemi-colonsinalist.
Hereisanexampleofhowyoucanusesemi-colonstowriteadescrip2velist:Jimwaswearing:oldraggedtrousersthatwerefartooshortforhim;ataMeredpulloverthathadoncebeenred;ablack,flatcapandthebiggestsmileimaginableonhissmall,cheekyface.Yourturn:WritealisttodescribetheplacewhereJimwasliving.
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LI:Towritethebuildupofmystory:
Readyourintroduc2ontoremindyourselfofwhatyouhavealreadywri^en.Remembertokeepyourwri2nginthepasttenseandthethirdperson!Whatarethestepstosuccessthatyouneedtoincludetoday?Nowstartwri2ngyourmainsec2on.
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Atfirst,Jimfoundtheworkenjoyable.Georgecha^edtohim,tellingtheboystoriesaboutthefolkthatlivedinthegrandhouses.JimsleptinthewarmkitchenatGeorge’shome,wrappinghimselfinanold,woollenblanket.Inthemorning,hewasgivenabreakfastofteaandbreadandintheevening,hejoinedwiththerestofthefamilyea2ngwhateverfareGeorge’swifehadbeenabletocreateusingtheirmeagrera2ons.Jimfeltuseful,wantedandasifhefinallyhadaplaceintheworld.
Thismymodel:Youwillno4cethatIhavemissedonesec4onofmystoryplan.AsIwaswri4ng,IdecidedthatIwouldmissoutthedescrip4onofhowJimlearnedthejobofachimneysweep,asthiswouldnothelpmovethestoryalong.Youshouldalwaysreviewyourideasandadaptthemifyouthinkyouhaveabe7erideaandwishtochangethem.
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However,astheweekswentby,Jimfoundhimself2red.Hewasalwaysworkingandthehourswerelong.ORen,hewouldbetoo2redtoeathissupperandthenthefollowingmorning,Georgewouldhavehimupandoutofthehousebeforehe’dhad2meforbreakfast.Hebegantocough.Notjustanoccasional2ckleinthebackofhisthroat,butapersistent,hackingcoughthatcon2nuedonandoffeveryday.Hisskinwasdry;ingrainedwithsoot;coveredwithdeepcutsandburns.Jim’seyeswereredandsore.NothingheseemedtobegoodenoughforGeorgenow.Hewasalwaysbeingbellowedat;calledhorrible,evilnamesandsmackedaroundtheheadfortheslightestmishap.Theworkwasnolongerfun.JimbegantoplotwayshecouldescapefromGeorgeandreturntohisoldlife.Evenlivingonthestreetshadtobebe^erthanthis!
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Yourturn:Writeyourbuildup.Aretheredetailsthatareimportantforyoutokeeporoneswhichyoushouldyouchange?
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Plenary:
Howmanyofthesefeatureshaveyounowincluded?Haveyouusedthemmorethanonce?Whatmustyouremembertousewhenyouwritetheresolu2on?
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Wednesday 15th July 2020 StepstoSuccess:• pasttense• 3rdperson• powerfuladjec2ves&expandednounphrasestodescribescene• characterisa2onthroughtheuseofcommasandsemi-colonstocreatealistuse
ofbracketsanddashesforparenthesis(addi2onaldetailsaboutthesubjectofthesentence)
• powerfulverbsandadverbialphrasestogivedetailsaboutthemaincharacters• varietyofsentencelengths• useofdialoguetoconveythepersonalityofthecharacter• powerofthreeindescrip2ons• specificnounphrasestoconveyclaritytothereader
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LI:Touseadverbialphrasestogivedetailsaboutthecharacter,orseeng.
Nowfollowthesamepa^erntowriteadverbialphrasesfortheseclauses:Jimsprinted…Shrimpslaiddown..Thefishmarketwas...
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LI:Towritetheresolu2ontoanaddi2onalchapter.
Readthroughyourwri4ngfromtheverybeginning.Areyoureadytocompleteyouraddi4onalchapter?Whichwri4ngfeaturesareyougoingtoincludetoday?
Thisismymodelresolu2on.IwantedtotakeJimbacktowherehebeganthissec2onsothatthestoryofStreetChildcanpickupagainaRerI’veaddedinmyaddi2onalchapter.
Hegazedaroundtofindawaydownofftheroofbutstruggledtothinkclearly.Jimwass2llinshock.Hecouldhavebeentrapped.Hecouldhavedied!AsJimstoodthere,tryingtosortouthisfeelings,heheardGeorgeyellingoutfromthewindow,tellinghimto,‘gethisbonesdownstairsrightaway’.Suddenlyitdawnedontheboy.Itwasnowornever.Ifhedidn’ttakethischancetoescape,thennext2mehewastrappedinachimney,itwouldbehislast.Herememberedhearingofboyswho’dbeenburnedtodeathwhenthesweepsetafiretoencouragethemtoclimbout.Onlylastweek,He’dbeentoldaboutanotherboywho’dbeentrappedsotheyhadtobreakdownthechimney.Ithadcostthesweeptwoweekswagesandtookhisrageoutontheboybybea2nghimsenseless.Hisbodywasfoundfloa2ngintheThamestwodayslater.Thiswasnotgoingtohappentome,Jimdecided.
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Stumblingoverthe2les,heclumsilypickedhiswayacrosstheroofandslidontotheneighbouringone.Ontheothersideofthatroof,hespo^edasturdydrainpipeclingingtotherearofthepropertyandclosetoahighbrickwallthatranthelengthofthegarden.Heshinneddown,scurriedalongthewall,dippingundertheboughofatallwillowtree,andfoundhimselfinanalleyclosetotheriver.Dodginginandoutoftheshadows,Jimfollowedthebackstreetsun2lhemadeitbacktothefishmarket.Finallyhestopped,doublingoverandres2nghishandsonhiskneesinexhaus2on.He’dmadeit.Hewassafe.ARerJimhadgatheredhisbreath,helookedupandno2cedShrimpsquicklylimpinghiswayoutthemarket,followedbythebellowingofastallholder.Theownerofthestallhadn’tbeenquickenoughtocatchShrimpsashenickedasmallherringfromthecratenearestthefrontedge,butalsodarenotleavehisstalltogivechase.Jimsmiledtohimself.Fishforteatonighthethought.
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Plenary:
Howmanyexamplesofthesefeatureshaveyouincluded?
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Thursday 16th July 2020 StepstoSuccess:• pasttense• 3rdperson• powerfuladjec2ves&expandednounphrasestodescribescene• characterisa2onthroughtheuseofcommasandsemi-colonstocreatealistuseof
bracketsanddashesforparenthesis(addi2onaldetailsaboutthesubjectofthesentence)
• powerfulverbsandadverbialphrasestogivedetailsaboutthemaincharacters• varietyofsentencelengths• useofdialoguetoconveythepersonalityofthecharacter• powerofthreeindescrip2ons• specificnounphrasestoconveyclaritytothereader
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LI:Toeditmyworkforspelling,grammarandpunctua2on.
1. Checkyouworkforspellingerrors.2. Checkyourwri2ngisinthepasttense(wasnotis)3. Checkyourwri2ngisinthirdperson(henotI)4. Howmanydifferentwayshaveyouopenedyour
sentences?• Verbeg:Stumbling,Shocked,• Adverbeg:Slowly,Finally,• Preposi2onaleg:JustaRernoonthefollowingday,(2me)Infrontoftheramshacklehouse,(place)Withoutcaringfortheconsequences,(manner)
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LI:Toeditmywri2ngbyuplevelingmyvocabularychoices.
Asyoucheckyourwork,lookforwordsthatyoumightuplevelforabe^erchoice.Especiallythefollowingwords:• Said,• Went• Place• Road• Got• Big• Small• OldHowmanyspecificnounsorpowerfulverbshaveyouused?
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Plenary:
Completeafinalreadthroughyourchapter.Dothisbyreadingoutloudbecauseitwillhelpyoutospotanythingelsethatneedstobeedited.
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Friday 17th July 2020
StepstoSuccess:• Ihavefollowedtheinstruc2onstocreatemybook• Ihavewri^enmychapterinneatandjoineduphandwri2ng• Ihaveillustratedmybookwithpencildrawings
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LI:Topublishanaddi2onalchaptertoStreetChild.
h^ps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21qi9ZcQVto
Clickonthelinkbelowtomakeamini-foldedbook.YouwillneedasheetofA4paperandsomescissors.
Usingyourverybest,joinedhandwri2ng,publishyourstory.Youcanaddasecondbookifyouneedaddi2onalpages.Leavesomespacestoaddsomesimplepencilillustra2ons.
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Monday 20th and Tuesday 21st July 2020
LI:Towriteablurbandre-publishyourchapterasananimatedstory.
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Finishyourbookbywri2ngaburbbepublishedonthebackcover.Thisshouldbeateasertoencouragepeopletoreadthestory.
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Nowre-createyourstorybookonPurpleMash,usingthe‘Createastory’app.Recordyourselfreadingaloudyouraddi2onalchapterandaddingyourownillustra2ons.