eemedia.cleveland.com/pdq_impact/other/14qbingo.pdfwedding bells?” “i know a good house-cleaner...
TRANSCRIPT
Family function
BINGOMake a game out of your
relatives’ annoying remarks John Campanelli Plain Dealer Reporter
T here’s no place like home for the holidays. Just like there’s no place like a bed of nails for a nap. Of course, celebrating these sacred days of joy with loved
ones is a blessing, a pleasure of warmth and love. At least for the fi rst 10 minutes.
Then holiday dinner with the family becomes a strange jour-ney back in time. Suddenly, you’re no longer an adult. You’re 13, with your little brother annoying you and your big sister acting all smarty-pants. You sneak sips of your eggnog as if Dad is going to bust you, and you fi nd yourself fi ghting them all for Mom’s attention.
Then the other relatives move in, and the interrogation begins: “Why haven’t you graduated?” If you have, it’s “why aren’t you dat-ing?” If you are, it’s “why aren’t you married?” If you are, it’s “where’s the baby?” If you have one, it’s “where’s No. 2?” And on and on.
It’s enough to make you want to sit down to holiday dinner at the Flying J truck stop.
That’s unless you can change your outlook and learn to enjoy these cringe-worthy moments together. That’s where PDQ’s Holiday Dinner Bingo comes in.
Cut out these cards, pass them around to other family members and start the fun. If a phrase on your card is spoken by someone during the visit, mark the spot. (Any variation of the phrase is OK, so “Are you up to a size 16?” counts as “Have you gained weight?”)
Just be careful how you end the game. If someone utters the phrase “You wore those leather pants because you hate me, right?” to give you fi ve in a row, you might not want to stand up and yell, “Bingo!”
To reach this Plain Dealer reporter: [email protected], 216-999-4694
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
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“This tastes different
from Mom’s recipe.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“I thought you said
you joined a gym.”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“So when are you going to
retire?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“Who stole my fork?”
“I liked your hair the old
way.”
“I likedyour hair
the old way.”
“What hap-pened to that cute girl/boy-
friend from last year?”
“Something smells likes
it’s burning.”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“Do I hear wedding bells?”
“Do you think you should
let your kids do that?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“Plum pud-ding goes straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pud-ding goes straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pudding goes
straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pudding goes
straight to my thighs.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“Hey, where did
the kids go?”
“Hey, where did the kids
go?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“Have I told you about Amway?”
“Have I told you about Amway?”
“You look so tired.”
“You look so tired.”
“You look so tired.”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“By the looks of that tum-my, you have good news!”
“By the looks of that tum-my, you have good news!”
“So a rabbi, a priest and Tiger Woods
. . .”
“So a rabbi, a priest
and Tiger Woods . . .”
“So a rabbi, a priest
and Tiger Woods . . .”
“So is your new friend
Italian/Irish/Polish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend
Italian/Irish/Polish/etc.?”
“Why is [in-sert relative
here] cry-ing?”
“Why is [in-sert relative
here] cry-ing?”
“We’re losing the War on Christmas.”
“We’re losing the War on Christmas.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“Have you gained
weight?”
“Have you gained
weight?”
“So how old ARE you
now?”
“So how old ARE you
now?”
“I know this guy/girl. You two should
go out.”
“I know this guy/girl. You two should
go out.”
“I thought you’d be all over that by
now.”
“I thought you’d be all over that by
now.”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“You’re having an-
other glass of wine?!”
“You’re having
another glass of wine?!”
“This tastes different
from Mom’s recipe.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“I think your tree might
be a bit crooked.”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“Are you dating
someone?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“I thought you said
you joined a gym.”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“So when are you going to
retire?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“Who stole my fork?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“Do I hear wedding bells?”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“Who stole my fork?”
“Don’t you think it’s
time you got a real job?”
“Something smells likes
it’s burning.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“I liked your hair the old
way.”
“Are you sure this is home-
made?”
“How’s the job search
going?”
“Do you think you should
let your kids do that?”
“Do you think it’s
overcooked?”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“What hap-pened to that cute girl/boy-
friend from last year?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“I think your tree might
be a bit crooked.”
“Are you dating
someone?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“Don’t you think it’s
time you got a real job?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“Are you sure this is
homemade?”
“Are you sure this is
homemade?”
“How’s the job search
going?”
“Do you think it’s over-cooked?”
Family function
BINGOMake a game out of your
relatives’ annoying remarks John Campanelli Plain Dealer Reporter
T here’s no place like home for the holidays. Just like there’s no place like a bed of nails for a nap. Of course, celebrating these sacred days of joy with loved
ones is a blessing, a pleasure of warmth and love. At least for the fi rst 10 minutes.
Then holiday dinner with the family becomes a strange jour-ney back in time. Suddenly, you’re no longer an adult. You’re 13, with your little brother annoying you and your big sister acting all smarty-pants. You sneak sips of your eggnog as if Dad is going to bust you, and you fi nd yourself fi ghting them all for Mom’s attention.
Then the other relatives move in, and the interrogation begins: “Why haven’t you graduated?” If you have, it’s “why aren’t you dat-ing?” If you are, it’s “why aren’t you married?” If you are, it’s “where’s the baby?” If you have one, it’s “where’s No. 2?” And on and on.
It’s enough to make you want to sit down to holiday dinner at the Flying J truck stop.
That’s unless you can change your outlook and learn to enjoy these cringe-worthy moments together. That’s where PDQ’s Holiday Dinner Bingo comes in.
Cut out these cards, pass them around to other family members and start the fun. If a phrase on your card is spoken by someone during the visit, mark the spot. (Any variation of the phrase is OK, so “Are you up to a size 16?” counts as “Have you gained weight?”)
Just be careful how you end the game. If someone utters the phrase “You wore those leather pants because you hate me, right?” to give you fi ve in a row, you might not want to stand up and yell, “Bingo!”
To reach this Plain Dealer reporter: [email protected], 216-999-4694
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
“This tastes different
from Mom’s recipe.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“I thought you said
you joined a gym.”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“So when are you going to
retire?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“Who stole my fork?”
“I liked your hair the old
way.”
“I likedyour hair
the old way.”
“What hap-pened to that cute girl/boy-
friend from last year?”
“Something smells likes
it’s burning.”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“Do I hear wedding bells?”
“Do you think you should
let your kids do that?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“Plum pud-ding goes straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pud-ding goes straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pudding goes
straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pudding goes
straight to my thighs.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“Hey, where did
the kids go?”
“Hey, where did the kids
go?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“Have I told you about Amway?”
“Have I told you about Amway?”
“You look so tired.”
“You look so tired.”
“You look so tired.”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“By the looks of that tum-my, you have good news!”
“By the looks of that tum-my, you have good news!”
“So a rabbi, a priest and Tiger Woods
. . .”
“So a rabbi, a priest
and Tiger Woods . . .”
“So a rabbi, a priest
and Tiger Woods . . .”
“So is your new friend
Italian/Irish/Polish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend
Italian/Irish/Polish/etc.?”
“Why is [in-sert relative
here] cry-ing?”
“Why is [in-sert relative
here] cry-ing?”
“We’re losing the War on Christmas.”
“We’re losing the War on Christmas.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“Have you gained
weight?”
“Have you gained
weight?”
“So how old ARE you
now?”
“So how old ARE you
now?”
“I know this guy/girl. You two should
go out.”
“I know this guy/girl. You two should
go out.”
“I thought you’d be all over that by
now.”
“I thought you’d be all over that by
now.”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“You’re having an-
other glass of wine?!”
“You’re having
another glass of wine?!”
“This tastes different
from Mom’s recipe.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“I think your tree might
be a bit crooked.”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“Are you dating
someone?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“I thought you said
you joined a gym.”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“So when are you going to
retire?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“Who stole my fork?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“Do I hear wedding bells?”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“Who stole my fork?”
“Don’t you think it’s
time you got a real job?”
“Something smells likes
it’s burning.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“I liked your hair the old
way.”
“Are you sure this is home-
made?”
“How’s the job search
going?”
“Do you think you should
let your kids do that?”
“Do you think it’s
overcooked?”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“What hap-pened to that cute girl/boy-
friend from last year?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“I think your tree might
be a bit crooked.”
“Are you dating
someone?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“Don’t you think it’s
time you got a real job?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“Are you sure this is
homemade?”
“Are you sure this is
homemade?”
“How’s the job search
going?”
“Do you think it’s over-cooked?”
Family function
BINGOMake a game out of your
relatives’ annoying remarks John Campanelli Plain Dealer Reporter
T here’s no place like home for the holidays. Just like there’s no place like a bed of nails for a nap. Of course, celebrating these sacred days of joy with loved
ones is a blessing, a pleasure of warmth and love. At least for the fi rst 10 minutes.
Then holiday dinner with the family becomes a strange jour-ney back in time. Suddenly, you’re no longer an adult. You’re 13, with your little brother annoying you and your big sister acting all smarty-pants. You sneak sips of your eggnog as if Dad is going to bust you, and you fi nd yourself fi ghting them all for Mom’s attention.
Then the other relatives move in, and the interrogation begins: “Why haven’t you graduated?” If you have, it’s “why aren’t you dat-ing?” If you are, it’s “why aren’t you married?” If you are, it’s “where’s the baby?” If you have one, it’s “where’s No. 2?” And on and on.
It’s enough to make you want to sit down to holiday dinner at the Flying J truck stop.
That’s unless you can change your outlook and learn to enjoy these cringe-worthy moments together. That’s where PDQ’s Holiday Dinner Bingo comes in.
Cut out these cards, pass them around to other family members and start the fun. If a phrase on your card is spoken by someone during the visit, mark the spot. (Any variation of the phrase is OK, so “Are you up to a size 16?” counts as “Have you gained weight?”)
Just be careful how you end the game. If someone utters the phrase “You wore those leather pants because you hate me, right?” to give you fi ve in a row, you might not want to stand up and yell, “Bingo!”
To reach this Plain Dealer reporter: [email protected], 216-999-4694
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
“This tastes different
from Mom’s recipe.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“I thought you said
you joined a gym.”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“So when are you going to
retire?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“Who stole my fork?”
“I liked your hair the old
way.”
“I likedyour hair
the old way.”
“What hap-pened to that cute girl/boy-
friend from last year?”
“Something smells likes
it’s burning.”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“Do I hear wedding bells?”
“Do you think you should
let your kids do that?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“Plum pud-ding goes straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pud-ding goes straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pudding goes
straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pudding goes
straight to my thighs.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“Hey, where did
the kids go?”
“Hey, where did the kids
go?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“Have I told you about Amway?”
“Have I told you about Amway?”
“You look so tired.”
“You look so tired.”
“You look so tired.”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“By the looks of that tum-my, you have good news!”
“By the looks of that tum-my, you have good news!”
“So a rabbi, a priest and Tiger Woods
. . .”
“So a rabbi, a priest
and Tiger Woods . . .”
“So a rabbi, a priest
and Tiger Woods . . .”
“So is your new friend
Italian/Irish/Polish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend
Italian/Irish/Polish/etc.?”
“Why is [in-sert relative
here] cry-ing?”
“Why is [in-sert relative
here] cry-ing?”
“We’re losing the War on Christmas.”
“We’re losing the War on Christmas.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“Have you gained
weight?”
“Have you gained
weight?”
“So how old ARE you
now?”
“So how old ARE you
now?”
“I know this guy/girl. You two should
go out.”
“I know this guy/girl. You two should
go out.”
“I thought you’d be all over that by
now.”
“I thought you’d be all over that by
now.”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“You’re having an-
other glass of wine?!”
“You’re having
another glass of wine?!”
“This tastes different
from Mom’s recipe.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“I think your tree might
be a bit crooked.”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“Are you dating
someone?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“I thought you said
you joined a gym.”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“So when are you going to
retire?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“Who stole my fork?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“Do I hear wedding bells?”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“Who stole my fork?”
“Don’t you think it’s
time you got a real job?”
“Something smells likes
it’s burning.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“I liked your hair the old
way.”
“Are you sure this is home-
made?”
“How’s the job search
going?”
“Do you think you should
let your kids do that?”
“Do you think it’s
overcooked?”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“What hap-pened to that cute girl/boy-
friend from last year?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“I think your tree might
be a bit crooked.”
“Are you dating
someone?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“Don’t you think it’s
time you got a real job?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“Are you sure this is
homemade?”
“Are you sure this is
homemade?”
“How’s the job search
going?”
“Do you think it’s over-cooked?”
Family function
BINGOMake a game out of your
relatives’ annoying remarks John Campanelli Plain Dealer Reporter
T here’s no place like home for the holidays. Just like there’s no place like a bed of nails for a nap. Of course, celebrating these sacred days of joy with loved
ones is a blessing, a pleasure of warmth and love. At least for the fi rst 10 minutes.
Then holiday dinner with the family becomes a strange jour-ney back in time. Suddenly, you’re no longer an adult. You’re 13, with your little brother annoying you and your big sister acting all smarty-pants. You sneak sips of your eggnog as if Dad is going to bust you, and you fi nd yourself fi ghting them all for Mom’s attention.
Then the other relatives move in, and the interrogation begins: “Why haven’t you graduated?” If you have, it’s “why aren’t you dat-ing?” If you are, it’s “why aren’t you married?” If you are, it’s “where’s the baby?” If you have one, it’s “where’s No. 2?” And on and on.
It’s enough to make you want to sit down to holiday dinner at the Flying J truck stop.
That’s unless you can change your outlook and learn to enjoy these cringe-worthy moments together. That’s where PDQ’s Holiday Dinner Bingo comes in.
Cut out these cards, pass them around to other family members and start the fun. If a phrase on your card is spoken by someone during the visit, mark the spot. (Any variation of the phrase is OK, so “Are you up to a size 16?” counts as “Have you gained weight?”)
Just be careful how you end the game. If someone utters the phrase “You wore those leather pants because you hate me, right?” to give you fi ve in a row, you might not want to stand up and yell, “Bingo!”
To reach this Plain Dealer reporter: [email protected], 216-999-4694
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
“This tastes different
from Mom’s recipe.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“I thought you said
you joined a gym.”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“So when are you going to
retire?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“Who stole my fork?”
“I liked your hair the old
way.”
“I likedyour hair
the old way.”
“What hap-pened to that cute girl/boy-
friend from last year?”
“Something smells likes
it’s burning.”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“Do I hear wedding bells?”
“Do you think you should
let your kids do that?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“Plum pud-ding goes straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pud-ding goes straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pudding goes
straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pudding goes
straight to my thighs.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“Hey, where did
the kids go?”
“Hey, where did the kids
go?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“Have I told you about Amway?”
“Have I told you about Amway?”
“You look so tired.”
“You look so tired.”
“You look so tired.”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“By the looks of that tum-my, you have good news!”
“By the looks of that tum-my, you have good news!”
“So a rabbi, a priest and Tiger Woods
. . .”
“So a rabbi, a priest
and Tiger Woods . . .”
“So a rabbi, a priest
and Tiger Woods . . .”
“So is your new friend
Italian/Irish/Polish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend
Italian/Irish/Polish/etc.?”
“Why is [in-sert relative
here] cry-ing?”
“Why is [in-sert relative
here] cry-ing?”
“We’re losing the War on Christmas.”
“We’re losing the War on Christmas.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“Have you gained
weight?”
“Have you gained
weight?”
“So how old ARE you
now?”
“So how old ARE you
now?”
“I know this guy/girl. You two should
go out.”
“I know this guy/girl. You two should
go out.”
“I thought you’d be all over that by
now.”
“I thought you’d be all over that by
now.”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“You’re having an-
other glass of wine?!”
“You’re having
another glass of wine?!”
“This tastes different
from Mom’s recipe.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“I think your tree might
be a bit crooked.”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“Are you dating
someone?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“I thought you said
you joined a gym.”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“So when are you going to
retire?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“Who stole my fork?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“Do I hear wedding bells?”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“Who stole my fork?”
“Don’t you think it’s
time you got a real job?”
“Something smells likes
it’s burning.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“I liked your hair the old
way.”
“Are you sure this is home-
made?”
“How’s the job search
going?”
“Do you think you should
let your kids do that?”
“Do you think it’s
overcooked?”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“What hap-pened to that cute girl/boy-
friend from last year?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“I think your tree might
be a bit crooked.”
“Are you dating
someone?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“Don’t you think it’s
time you got a real job?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“Are you sure this is
homemade?”
“Are you sure this is
homemade?”
“How’s the job search
going?”
“Do you think it’s over-cooked?”
Family function
BINGOMake a game out of your
relatives’ annoying remarks John Campanelli Plain Dealer Reporter
T here’s no place like home for the holidays. Just like there’s no place like a bed of nails for a nap. Of course, celebrating these sacred days of joy with loved
ones is a blessing, a pleasure of warmth and love. At least for the fi rst 10 minutes.
Then holiday dinner with the family becomes a strange jour-ney back in time. Suddenly, you’re no longer an adult. You’re 13, with your little brother annoying you and your big sister acting all smarty-pants. You sneak sips of your eggnog as if Dad is going to bust you, and you fi nd yourself fi ghting them all for Mom’s attention.
Then the other relatives move in, and the interrogation begins: “Why haven’t you graduated?” If you have, it’s “why aren’t you dat-ing?” If you are, it’s “why aren’t you married?” If you are, it’s “where’s the baby?” If you have one, it’s “where’s No. 2?” And on and on.
It’s enough to make you want to sit down to holiday dinner at the Flying J truck stop.
That’s unless you can change your outlook and learn to enjoy these cringe-worthy moments together. That’s where PDQ’s Holiday Dinner Bingo comes in.
Cut out these cards, pass them around to other family members and start the fun. If a phrase on your card is spoken by someone during the visit, mark the spot. (Any variation of the phrase is OK, so “Are you up to a size 16?” counts as “Have you gained weight?”)
Just be careful how you end the game. If someone utters the phrase “You wore those leather pants because you hate me, right?” to give you fi ve in a row, you might not want to stand up and yell, “Bingo!”
To reach this Plain Dealer reporter: [email protected], 216-999-4694
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
“This tastes different
from Mom’s recipe.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“I thought you said
you joined a gym.”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“So when are you going to
retire?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“Who stole my fork?”
“I liked your hair the old
way.”
“I likedyour hair
the old way.”
“What hap-pened to that cute girl/boy-
friend from last year?”
“Something smells likes
it’s burning.”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“Do I hear wedding bells?”
“Do you think you should
let your kids do that?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“Plum pud-ding goes straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pud-ding goes straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pudding goes
straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pudding goes
straight to my thighs.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“Hey, where did
the kids go?”
“Hey, where did the kids
go?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“Have I told you about Amway?”
“Have I told you about Amway?”
“You look so tired.”
“You look so tired.”
“You look so tired.”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“By the looks of that tum-my, you have good news!”
“By the looks of that tum-my, you have good news!”
“So a rabbi, a priest and Tiger Woods
. . .”
“So a rabbi, a priest
and Tiger Woods . . .”
“So a rabbi, a priest
and Tiger Woods . . .”
“So is your new friend
Italian/Irish/Polish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend
Italian/Irish/Polish/etc.?”
“Why is [in-sert relative
here] cry-ing?”
“Why is [in-sert relative
here] cry-ing?”
“We’re losing the War on Christmas.”
“We’re losing the War on Christmas.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“Have you gained
weight?”
“Have you gained
weight?”
“So how old ARE you
now?”
“So how old ARE you
now?”
“I know this guy/girl. You two should
go out.”
“I know this guy/girl. You two should
go out.”
“I thought you’d be all over that by
now.”
“I thought you’d be all over that by
now.”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“You’re having an-
other glass of wine?!”
“You’re having
another glass of wine?!”
“This tastes different
from Mom’s recipe.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“I think your tree might
be a bit crooked.”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“Are you dating
someone?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“I thought you said
you joined a gym.”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“So when are you going to
retire?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“Who stole my fork?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“Do I hear wedding bells?”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“Who stole my fork?”
“Don’t you think it’s
time you got a real job?”
“Something smells likes
it’s burning.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“I liked your hair the old
way.”
“Are you sure this is home-
made?”
“How’s the job search
going?”
“Do you think you should
let your kids do that?”
“Do you think it’s
overcooked?”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“What hap-pened to that cute girl/boy-
friend from last year?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“I think your tree might
be a bit crooked.”
“Are you dating
someone?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“Don’t you think it’s
time you got a real job?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“Are you sure this is
homemade?”
“Are you sure this is
homemade?”
“How’s the job search
going?”
“Do you think it’s over-cooked?”
Family function
BINGOMake a game out of your
relatives’ annoying remarks John Campanelli Plain Dealer Reporter
T here’s no place like home for the holidays. Just like there’s no place like a bed of nails for a nap. Of course, celebrating these sacred days of joy with loved
ones is a blessing, a pleasure of warmth and love. At least for the fi rst 10 minutes.
Then holiday dinner with the family becomes a strange jour-ney back in time. Suddenly, you’re no longer an adult. You’re 13, with your little brother annoying you and your big sister acting all smarty-pants. You sneak sips of your eggnog as if Dad is going to bust you, and you fi nd yourself fi ghting them all for Mom’s attention.
Then the other relatives move in, and the interrogation begins: “Why haven’t you graduated?” If you have, it’s “why aren’t you dat-ing?” If you are, it’s “why aren’t you married?” If you are, it’s “where’s the baby?” If you have one, it’s “where’s No. 2?” And on and on.
It’s enough to make you want to sit down to holiday dinner at the Flying J truck stop.
That’s unless you can change your outlook and learn to enjoy these cringe-worthy moments together. That’s where PDQ’s Holiday Dinner Bingo comes in.
Cut out these cards, pass them around to other family members and start the fun. If a phrase on your card is spoken by someone during the visit, mark the spot. (Any variation of the phrase is OK, so “Are you up to a size 16?” counts as “Have you gained weight?”)
Just be careful how you end the game. If someone utters the phrase “You wore those leather pants because you hate me, right?” to give you fi ve in a row, you might not want to stand up and yell, “Bingo!”
To reach this Plain Dealer reporter: [email protected], 216-999-4694
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
FREE
SPACE
“This tastes different
from Mom’s recipe.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“I thought you said
you joined a gym.”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“So when are you going to
retire?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“Who stole my fork?”
“I liked your hair the old
way.”
“I likedyour hair
the old way.”
“What hap-pened to that cute girl/boy-
friend from last year?”
“Something smells likes
it’s burning.”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“Do I hear wedding bells?”
“Do you think you should
let your kids do that?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“Why is the Wii remote all greasy?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“So you still go to church,
right?”
“Plum pud-ding goes straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pud-ding goes straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pudding goes
straight to my thighs.”
“Plum pudding goes
straight to my thighs.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“I got the wine from
Walgreens.”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“How much did you pay for your air-line ticket?”
“Hey, where did
the kids go?”
“Hey, where did the kids
go?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“Where do you keep the
plunger?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“Have I told you about Amway?”
“Have I told you about Amway?”
“You look so tired.”
“You look so tired.”
“You look so tired.”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“Smaller piece!”
“By the looks of that tum-my, you have good news!”
“By the looks of that tum-my, you have good news!”
“So a rabbi, a priest and Tiger Woods
. . .”
“So a rabbi, a priest
and Tiger Woods . . .”
“So a rabbi, a priest
and Tiger Woods . . .”
“So is your new friend
Italian/Irish/Polish/etc.?”
“So is your new friend
Italian/Irish/Polish/etc.?”
“Why is [in-sert relative
here] cry-ing?”
“Why is [in-sert relative
here] cry-ing?”
“We’re losing the War on Christmas.”
“We’re losing the War on Christmas.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s not much, and I
swear I’ll pay you back.”
“Have you gained
weight?”
“Have you gained
weight?”
“So how old ARE you
now?”
“So how old ARE you
now?”
“I know this guy/girl. You two should
go out.”
“I know this guy/girl. You two should
go out.”
“I thought you’d be all over that by
now.”
“I thought you’d be all over that by
now.”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“Is that smoke in the
kitchen?”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“The meat’s a little dry/rare/tough/
etc.”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“I’ll tell you what needs to be done
about health care . . .”
“You’re having an-
other glass of wine?!”
“You’re having
another glass of wine?!”
“This tastes different
from Mom’s recipe.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“I think your tree might
be a bit crooked.”
“When are you going to start mak-ing more money?”
“Are you dating
someone?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“I thought you said
you joined a gym.”
“How much did you spend
on . . . ?”
“So when are you going to
retire?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“Who stole my fork?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“Who’s playing footsy
with me?”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“Do I hear wedding bells?”
“I know a good house-
cleaner I could recom-
mend.”
“Who stole my fork?”
“Don’t you think it’s
time you got a real job?”
“Something smells likes
it’s burning.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“Don’t you think you
should change be-
fore church?”
“When I was your age . . . ”
“I liked your hair the old
way.”
“Are you sure this is home-
made?”
“How’s the job search
going?”
“Do you think you should
let your kids do that?”
“Do you think it’s
overcooked?”
“Are you sure you should be having seconds?”
“So is your new friend Catholic/
Jewish/etc.?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“What hap-pened to that cute girl/boy-
friend from last year?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“So when are you fi nally
going to set-tle down?”
“I think your tree might
be a bit crooked.”
“Are you dating
someone?”
“How much salt did you
put in here?!”
“Don’t you think it’s
time you got a real job?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“So, are you going to make me a grand-ma/grandpa
soon?”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“I love gingerbread, but it binds
me up.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“These liber-als/conser-vatives are ruining our country.”
“Are you sure this is
homemade?”
“Are you sure this is
homemade?”
“How’s the job search
going?”
“Do you think it’s over-cooked?”