DR. MAC’sPOSITIVE PARENTING PRACTICES

ANSWER KEYThe correct answers for each question are explained below.

INTRODUCTION

1. A In the world of behavior, an "action plan" refers to a course of action that we have devised in order to help someone change his/her behavior for the better.

2. C There's no doubt that the inclusion of the three answers marked as "incorrect" can enhance the chances of a direction being followed in the moment, so if you selected one of them, you're right to some extent.

3. D Yes, kids should listen. But they need to be taught why and how (not just "Do it."). Other parties should support us in our efforts to create a good kid, but the primary obligation belongs to the parents and guardians at home.

4. A Positive parenting practices, as described in this application, WORK! They HAVE worked, DO work, and WILL work. Those who belittle them:- Haven't yet listened to the app in order to be able to offer an informed opinion.- Are confusing the practices in this application with weak, spineless, laissez-fair parenting practices that have been promoted elsewhere.- Are often afraid to challenge their set ideas, and put them to the test.- Are in need of a listening session with this app. Ask them to join us.- Are welcomed to offer their commentary to Dr. Mac at: Doctormac@BehaviorAdvisor.com

5. A Praise, if given effectively, will create more of that appropriate behavior in the future.________________________________________________________BEHAVIOR 101

1. C Although our brains can be effected by genetic and biological abnormalities, behaviors are a primarily a result of how the environment acts upon us. We'll display behaviors that bring us rewards. We'll try out the behaviors of others who we see getting a reward for showing those actions. Our thinking about an event, and our resulting emotions can influence how we react to frustration.

2. D While the conditions influence behaviors, those behaviors still respond to well-planned, well-implemented interventions.

3. B These conditions have influence on the person's actions, but the behaviors can be changed for the better with planful, consistently used positive procedures. Ingrained patterns of behavior take time to change. That change can come more quickly if we stick to the positive plan, and see the promising changes in our child... and us.

4. D Ingrained patterns of behavior take time to change. That change can come more quickly if we stick to the positive plan, and see the promising changes in our child... and us.

5. A Being assertive means being dynamic, confident, and standing up for what is right. However, it is done in a manner that does not hurt others (aggression).

6. A In order for behaviors to transform into better ones, the youngster needs to believe that things truly have changed in his or her environment. She/he needs consistency in order to fully recognize the benefits of displaying the new behaviors.

7. D We know much more now than in previous years about how human behavior develops and how to change it for the better. However, those who are not familiar with the evidence-based principles and practices sometimes belittle them. Many recommend using more of what already didn't work well. Children are placed at much greater risk for poor life outcomes when their parents "get tough" than when they use evidence-based positive practices.

8. D Behavior patterns have been ingrained over time. It will take time to develop replacement behaviors for situations. However, with persistence, the change does come. The result is a self-directed, responsible youngster with a positive self image.

9. A Devoid of positive influences and counter-messages, individuals often adopt the ways of those who mistreat them.

10. A How we model behaviors and react to the behaviors of our children determines how they behave.

11. A As mentioned (in a disguised manner) in the kitchen scenario, we need to be aware of influences on actions. We must also be aware of how and why we engage in certain strategies, and be able to implement them well. You may have been fortunate to have had adults who guided your childhood behavior in positive ways, but that personal history is not necessary to becoming a strong, secure, and positive parent.

12. B Parents who are firm, but supportive, are much more effective than wimpy or hostile parents. The word "expressive" was used to create another incorrect choice.

13. A Behaviors are shaped by the environment and how the people in that environment respond to them. Behaviors ("good" or "bad") that bring rewards will be shown again by that person. Actions that bring penalties will be eliminated from a person's options IF that person has been taught a more acceptable replacement behavior.

14. B All of the possible answers can influence a youngster's behavior. However, none of the others come anywhere close to the power of the parents' responses to their child's actions. How we react to what we see determines if that behavior is shown again in the future.

15. A In the study of behavior, modeling involves the imitation of another’s behavior.

16. B Most of us use what we've experienced or witnessed. Few parents have studied parenting, despite its importance to our children and society.

17. A The science of behavior allows us to identify how our parental (re)actions influence our children's behavior patterns.It may be that a parent is reacting well in a situation, but:a. Others who interact with the child use inappropriate behavior change methods.b. Is inconsistent in using the effective and positive approach.c. The child is too emotionally involved at present to respond well. In that case, the parent will need to engage in a follow-up discussion with the child.

18. A Behavioral investigators have conducted studies on the effects and outcomes of traditional practices. We know much more than 20 years ago. We'll know more in the future. _________________________________________________________THE ABCs OF BEHAVIOR

1. C To be sure that everyone agrees about the behavior and what it encompasses, we need to identify what happens in detail... in observable and measureable terms.

2. A Antecedent means "Before". The "B" in the formula stands for "Behavior". The A in the formula refers to what happened before the behavior.

3. A Cleaning up after oneself brought positive recognition to the boy (stickers that can be traded in for something he desires). Actions that bring positive things to the person are positively reinforced. No mention was made of penalties or undesirable events that were being avoided.

4. C We know that the behavior is reinforced in some way (although not by you, right?). It may have brought giggles and attention by its use. It may be part of the code of conduct for a group to which your child wants to belong. Your child could be modeling the behavior of an esteemed person (popular kid, movie/singing star, adult). It might be negatively reinforced, in that it presents a tough image that keeps others from victimizing him/her. We need more information in order to identify which one (or whether both) are involved in this situation.

5. B The youngster doesn't yet have the ability or skill. Therefore it is a skill deficit. Some 3 years olds have been very successful, but mess themselves on an infrequent basis. In that case, it is a performance deficit.

6. A The child is capable of doing the task, but does not do so. In that case, it is a performance deficit.

7. D D is correct.

8. B Some parents can force some kids into compliance (as in this case). The young lady complies in order to avoid the negative thing (grounding)... thus, negative reinforcement drives the behavior. She is not convinced that the behavior is a better choice, and the parents failed to offer positive reinforcement for her compliance. Doing so would have helped to convince the girl that respectful, compliant behavior is truly a good choice.

9. B The child tries to avoid the situation that is aversive (punishing) with excuses.

10. B The telling of a lie kept punishment by the parent away. The negative thing was avoided.

11. A The action of "staying quiet and allowing the poking to continue" may be avoiding a worse punishment in the future: Reporting the poker could result in being cornered in

an unsupervised part of the house by the other child and getting a harsher physical punishment.

12. B Why not positive reinforcement? No mention was made of any positive things from this behavior. Rather, there is simply the escape from the punishment. Now, if you imagined some wonderful thing being obtained from the action (sense of pride, smile from parent), then positive reinforcement happened too. It wasn't mentioned in the example, but I like how you think! There was no ignoring. The pokee did something when attacked by the poker. 13. C Behaviors are influenced by what has happened, is happening, and might happen in situations. It's important to note the "environmental variables" in order to better understand the influences on the youngster's behavior.

14. A If the youngster is capable of PERFORMing the action, but doesn't, it is a PERFORMance deficit. If the youngster doesn't have the SKILL yet, then it is a SKILL deficit.

15. B The principles and consequences for behaviors apply to all behaviors, "good", "bad", or "neutral". The terms do not mean the same thing. If you show a behavior (any behavior) and something awful happens to you, your action have been punished. If you show a behavior (any behavior) and an awful thing goes away, your action has been negatively reinforced. Punishment DECREASES the chances of that behavior happening in the future (if another behavior has been learned to replace it). Negative reinforcement INCREASES the chances of the behavior happening again in the future.

16. B Yes, some people need to learn to better cope with situations or prevent them in the first place. Yes, Houdini became famous by escaping situations that were "negative". However, any behavior that results in an escape from a "bad situation" is said to be "negatively reinforced" (strengthened and more likely to occur in similar situations).

17. B The youngster was trying to avoid an awful outcome (failing the test). It is a relief to have "dodged the bullet". By engaging in "studying behavior", the student prevented the negative thing from happening... Negative Reinforcement.

18. A If something "positive" (desirable) comes to us when we show an action, that behavior is "positively reinforced.

19. A The student is seeking a valued, positive outcome (versus avoiding something awful). Her motivation is the attaining of positive reinforcement.

20. D In order to conduct a fair and accurate investigation into the reasons behind a behavior, it is important to know exactly what the behavior looks like, sounds like, etc. Saying that a child is "a slob" brings different images to different people who hear that

label. They might imagine an unkept youngster with uncombed hair and unwashed clothes, a kid with food on his/her face and shirt when eating, or a young one who leaves playthings on the floor when finished using them. Hearing "When finished preparing for bed, the youngster has left behind clothes on the floor, and a countertop littered with an oozing toothpaste tube, a toothbrush, an open bottle of shampoo, and a hand-held hair dryer." helps us to better imagine what is meant by the person who wishes the "slobbish" behavior to stop.

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BEYOND THE ABCs

1. D Not much explanation needed here. These answers have been proven by research and practice.

2. D We all need to feel accepted and valued by important others (parents, family, friends, teachers). Being isolated from others or rejected by them is psychologically painful.

3. A We must help the child see the connection between the new behavior and positive outcomes. We do so by reinforcing the behavior each and every time. Once the connection has been made, we can move to a more infrequent awarding of benefits.

4. C The other factors determine whether the real-life or video demonstration is emulated.

5. D The "wrong" answers in this question might be generally stated influences on the behavior, but the over-all, all-encompassing reason is that there is a payoff, a benefit for showing the behavior. Now we have to figure out what it is.

6. A The three "wrong" answers are all part of the correct one. We should identify the need that drives the behavior (attention, power, feeling of success, etc.), and devise a replacement behavior that meets that need to a greater degree. If the replacement behavior doesn't meet the need, or does so to a lesser extent, why would the child want change his/her ways? What they're doing at the moment has a bigger payout than what you'd like him/her to do.

7. D The behavior has to bring the same sort of benefit: Attention, sensory stimulation, money, power, etc. Don't give the child a negative label (more about this important point in the second app in this series). Call the behavior "bad", but not the child.

Separate the behavior from the child. Hate the behavior, but love the child and be willing to work with him/her in a positive manner.

8. A When people expect a payoff, but don’t know when it will come, they keep trying. They don’t want to stop now because the next time that they attempt it might be when the reward comes.

9. C Mixing up the times and places of the reward is the most effective schedule for maintaining learned behaviors.It doesn't mean that we are stingy with our reinforcement. We still give it often, but the youngster doesn't know when it will be presented.

10. A Giving a direction that the child would enjoy engages him/her in direction following. It "sets the stage" putting the child in a cooperative frame of mind because a benefit came from following the first direction. No deception was involved. No bribery (paying someone to do the wrong thing) was involved.

11. B But the child is developmentally ready to learn the behavior. Practice sessions should be fun and interesting if possible. Practice in different ways to give more and varied experience.

12. A While there are perhaps many kinds of "modeling", when we talk about behavior, we're talking about imitating the actions of another. One can also "model" behavior by showing the behaviors that we want our children to emulate....Thus the term "role model".

13. A If the children receive the reward before having to show the new behavior, then why would they put forth an effort to display it to the best of their abilities? To build behaviors that we would like to see our children display, we need to teach it (practice), prompt it (tell them when to show the behavior), and reinforce (reward) them when they try their best to show it (they'll get better with experience and your feedback).

14. D Whether we believe that we are born bad, good or "tabla rosa" (blank slate) is a perpetual topic of discussion, but not applicable in this situation because we can change behaviors for the better. Some kids, due to neurological conditions such as ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) are more likely to display the behaviors, but the reason for the focus on the parent is found below. Kids who are bored will seek excitement/entertainment, but the reason for the focus upon the parents is found below. Kids want the attention of their parents. They would like it to be positive. However, if their appropriate actions aren't positively recognized, they will show behaviors that will draw the attention of the parents. While it isn't the type of attention they would like to receive, at least they get some of the characteristics of positive attention from the elders: eye contacts, voice, touch, & undivided attention. The negative aspects of that attention aren't what they want, but they haven't been able to figure out how to get the

parents to attend in a positive way. Some attention, beats none at all. Negative attention trumps none at all.

15. A Kids are looking for ways of behaving that will bring positive reinforcement. They watch others. If they see another person get positive reinforcement (affection, money, attention, power, etc.) after showing an action, they are likely to try it too. Adults often imitate (model) the actions of others, but do it less so. They have already developed ways that work for them. People with low self esteem and negative sense of self are likely to view the rewards obtained by others as being "out of reach". They don't believe that they could perform the action or achieve the same results. Some folks with time on their hands attempt new things, but it is not as prominent a response as we see in kids.

16. C No doubt about it... bodily changes can have an effect on sleep, interests, and tolerance. Media has a big impact on our kids. However, how one chooses to act and react is most guided by the opinions and practices of the same-age peer group. In an effort to "belong" and connect interpersonally, kids (and adults) will show the behaviors most valued by the groups to which they (want to) belong.

17. B Settings events have an effect (good or bad) on the chances of a behavior being shown. We want to increase the chances of appropriate behaviors being shown, so we create circumstances that contribute to the likelihood of them being displayed. We want to prevent circumstances that might decrease the chances of an appropriate behavior being displayed.

18. A Punishment might stop the behavior in the moment, but the behaviors are repeated again later because punishment does not teach replacement behaviors. Intended "punishment" by the adult might also, in actuality, be a "positive reinforcer" for the child's behavior (It gave the desired attention, physical contact, and voice.... not the positive adult-child interaction that is truly desired, but it's as close as the youngster is able to get to that desired outcome.).

When parents say "S/he's just doing those things for attention", they're right! Now it's time to give it... for the correct behaviors. They should direct the child to show the correct behavior, and even practice it. They should then give positive attention. They should then be alert for times when the young one shows the appropriate behavior. They should positively reinforce their child's attempt to "behave" (act appropriately).

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REPLACING PUNISHMENT

1. A When you take something away (social time, recreation, availability of going outside), you create a void, a hole, a vacuum... a "negative".

2. C Ask a question that identifies and promotes the appropriate behavior. Then practice it. Don't insinuate that there is something psychologically wrong to the child. It serves no purpose and is hurtful in many ways. Asking: "Do you want me to punish you?" (and similar statements) is ridiculous... no kid wants to be punished. Instead, say what you mean: "I need you to show a better behavior so that you can avoid punishment." Saying "Oh... Why me?... Again..." reveals that we need to improve our behavior change skills. To do so, visit the second app in this series and www.BehaviorAdvisor.com

3. C Punishment identifies what NOT to do (around the punisher), but it does not teach a new behavior to take the place of the undesirable one.

4. D Something that was present (phone access) was removed, creating an absence... a negative.

5. A If the older child hit the younger, we probably were not removing positive social contact time between siblings. We certainly don't want to reinforce (reward) the hitting. So... positive punishment (giving him/her something that s/he doesn't enjoy) would be the most likely intent. If you answered "Negative punishment", you might be right IF you thought about things in this way: The hitting behavior happens repeatedly. Therefore, it must be getting reinforced (rewarded). So... time out will "take away" the reinforcing situation.

6. B Mopping the floor is a new imposition or punishment on the child. Something new to do is "given" to the youngster.

7. A It's hard to appreciate the person who makes our lives miserable. Parents can avoid the negative "R"s by vastly outweighing the punishments with rewards. Also, explain the reasons for the punishment and identify what SHOULD have done. Help the child to practice the appropriate behavior so that it becomes the new default response.

8. D Punishment is part of life. If harsh enough, it will cause the punished behavior to stop (but only around someone with a big punisher). The punished person often feels resentment toward the punisher and a sense of incompetence in oneself. Punishment does not teach the child what s/he SHOULD be doing in place of the punished behavior. With no substitute behavior having been practiced, the same behavior shows up repeatedly.9. D Avoid having one BIG penalty. That approach results in a punishment that is too strong for some behaviors, and/or pleading with the youngster to stop because you don't want to implement that one immense response.

During the misbehavior, tell the youngster what TO DO. Avoid telling him/her what NOT to do (no alternative is presented if you do this option).

If you want to avoid the misbehavior in the future, TEACH the behavior you want to witness. Be sure that the "payoff" is at least as good as for the wrongful behavior, and that the replacement action meets the same need as the misbehavior.

10. D All are factors that interfere with punishment being effective in behavior change.

11. A If we engage in effective practices persistently and consistently, the behavior will change for the better over time. And yes, we do need patience, but that wasn't part of the phrase that was used in the audio for this chapter.

12. C Giving a label ("bad", "rude", "mean") to a child creates that identity in the young one. The youngster then engages in behaviors that are associated with that label. They have been told who they are. They live that label. Instead, label the behavior as being "stupid", "wacky", "nasty". Behaviors are easier to change than personalities.

13. A The type of punishment (positive or negative) was not stated in the question. The parents commitment may be strong and admirable, but "punishment does not teach". "Reactive penalization” is a phrase created by Dr. Mac as a wrong answer for this question.

14. D As explained at the end of chapter 4, in a crisis situation (this symbol), we can make the situation better (bottom part of symbol) or worse (top part of symbol). Of course we wish to help kids make better behavior choices.

15. B The phrase was used about 45 seconds into the chapter.

16. D Cancelling play dates, withdrawing the privilege of attending a school activity, and deciding to withhold the allowance are all examples of "negative punishment". All of them create a void by removing something that the youngster assumed would be awarded.

17. A Loudness doesn't teach. Telling the youngster what s/he did wrong, doesn't tell him/her what s/he should do in those situations. No learning occurs.

18. C A reminder jogs the memory, opens discussion of how it might have been used, and leads us to another practice session.

19. A According to the old saying "You've got to like the messenger if you're going to listen to the message."

USING TIME OUT EFFECTIVELY

1. A There are many variations of time out, and many reasons for it. However, we always want it to be a learning experience so that it is required less often. The discussion and practice at the end of the time out teaches more appropriate responses for the recurring situation.

2. B Saying "But" in an apology destroys the acceptance of responsibility.

3. A The general rule is one minute per year of age. However, that is merely a guiding point... one that you will adjust as needed to accomplish the instructional component of the time out.

4. C We warn them that they must start working on solving their problem right away, and must have a solution in one minute. If the argument continues, the item is timed out (TV or computer turned off, toy placed up on refrigerator, etc.). The object comes out of time out when the youngsters present a plan of action to the adult.

5. D Each one is a benefit. All of them apply.

6. C It is described in the chapter as being the best conflict resolution solution ever developed. Each competitor holds out a fist (rock), the "peace sign" (scissors), or flat open hand with palm down (paper). Paper covers the rock, the rock breaks the scissors, and the scissors cut the paper. Depending on which signs are held out, any of the signs can be a winner. Same signs are a tie or draw.

7. D For some kids, sorry gets them "off the hook". They fail to change their behavior for the better because all they have to do if they get in trouble is say "I'm sorry."

8. C The procedure is described in chapter 5 of the application.

9. D The one minute rule is a guideline. However, if the youngster is uncooperative and still agitated or uncooperative, we're not going to reinforce that behavior by ending the disliked time out. You will decide when the time out has come to a productive end.

10. B It is negative punishment. Something in the situation in which the child misbehaved, must be reinforcing that behavior. When we take something positive away, it is "Negative punishment".

11. A If the whistle is removed, the joy of blowing it (the reinforcement) is removed. If Dr. Mac is timed out, it removes the joy of blowing the whistle, the audience, AND restricts free movement around the house. Follow the time out with an explanation to Dr. Mac about how whistle blowing is for outside of the house and far away from where you are gardening. If you time out your device, you won't be learning from the podcast.

12. D We focus on the child with whom we are talking. We might talk about the behavior of other children, and their motivation for showing it, but only to help the child better understand the event and develop a better response to it.Remember to have the child practice the behavior that you wish to see in the future. Then praise the child for showing the new behavior. Then give an "I know you can do it." statement.

13. A Whatever the view or practice, kids should learn from the experience so that time out is needed less in the future (because the child is showing the correct actions).

14. B We want the child to know that s/he will be heard. However, it is difficult to reason with a child (or adult) who is emotionally out of control. Answer B reassures the child that s/he will be heard, while allowing them time to regain emotional control. Answers A and D might possibly stop the talking, but the emotions are not soothed. Emotional control is not promoted. Answer C allows the child to rage about things rather than reflect upon them. (There are some counseling strategies that do allow kids to "blow off steam" while we ask questions, but some training is needed for its effective use.)

15. A Our children need to know that they are valued, accepted, and supported. They need to know that we are upset at the behavior and that we believe that they will be able to change it for the better (with our guidance and support). We want kids to believe that they can do better. We want them to have confidence in their abilities. That attitude develops when they see that we believe that they can do better.

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TEACHING NEW & BETTER BEHAVIORS

1. B We "link" together the different sub-behaviors in a complex behavior, forming an inter-linked chain of actions. This term is used with task analysis, not with shaping.

2. A You engaged in the steps in the order you were given, from first step to last step. You remember more of the early steps before having to go back to the help menu. You are moving forward.

3. A A shaping plan would require doing more and sometimes different things over time. The steps in the list that we're talking about now are to be followed in order in the present time. The procedure does not change over time. The same steps are followed each time.

4. A Standing requires less control than running to a ball. An adult's throw will be more direct and speed-controlled than that of a child. A spinning, bouncing, curving ball is the most difficult to kick.

5. D “Random” is not a term used in association with chaining together the task analyzed steps to building a complex behavior.

6. C By this procedure one successively (progressively) moves closer to (approximates) a final desired behavior.

7. D Any of the ways mentioned could be used to divine the steps.

8. B If the youngster is unable to display the desired action, then we must "break down" that large step into smaller ones.Placing pressure on someone distracts them and causes anxiety. Thinking clearly becomes difficult, and performance suffers.

9. C Kids (and adults) differ in their physical and mental abilities. The number of steps will depend on the individual's abilities. Of course, your list will be a "best guess" at first, modified as you and the child engage in the procedure.

10. A While all of the answers might have a positive effect, it is by actually doing something that we improve in our performance most. Of course, knowing HOW to do the task informs our practice. That's where the demonstrations, explanations, and videos come in. They support the essential practice.

11. C Steps A and C could probably switch places in the answer listed as being correct, and still allow for development of a strong behavior change shaping plan.

12. C Coaches and teachers analyze what is involved in performing a complicated action. They break it down into manageable, observable, demonstrable parts for their players/students.

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ENDNOTE

1. D “Put-downs” make others feel small and inadequate. They take on a negative identity of someone who doesn’t believe that s/he can do better. Build a better child by helping him/her learn from a poor choice.

2. A Having a purpose motivates individuals.

3. B You'll also find lots of other materials for parents at www.BehaviorAdvisor.com (click on the button for parents)

4. C Teach a life-long skill in bettering oneself and figuring out which course of action to take.

5. D All options are desirable outcomes.

6. A Our criticism should help the young one make good behavior choices in the future. Telling kids what they did wrong, does not tell them what they SHOULD be doing in that situation. Harsh chastisement might stop the behavior in its tracks (an important consideration), but remember that punishment (removal of parental approval... negative punishment) does not teach a new behavior to replace the one you dislike.

7. B While threats might work, the child is more likely to voluntarily show the desired behavior if s/he understands why it is important to do so. The child is also more likely to make a good behavior choice when the person making the threats is absent.

8. C We won't always be there to tell our kids what to do. It's important to teach them how to make good behavior choices so that their appropriate actions continue when we are not there to guide them.

9. A Achieving a positive sense of self, and being able to make good choices requires practice (with parental guidance). If we make every choice for our children, we deprive them of learning experiences and knowledge on how to cope with the world. We can develop a partnership with the schools, but we are the main teachers of good character and appropriate behavior.

10. D We want our children to learn to handle the situation in the future. We also want them to feel good about themselves, and feel safe and secure when they are around us. Teach them what they should do. Teaching involves support and positive guidance.

11. A Guiding our children's actions requires an understanding of the principles of behavior, and a wide variety of proven practices. Podcast #2 will go beyond the basics to more advanced behavior change strategies. Podcast #3 will address the parenting of a child with ADHD.

DoctorMac@BehaviorAdvisor.comTom McIntyre, Ph.D.