CSI Sample Essay

Thesis: Despite evidence suggesting that affirmative action may help minorities

receive greater academic opportunities, this practice often causes racial

discrimination, deprivation of academic opportunity, and a double standard of

student qualification.

Admission

Mr. Henry Sullivan reminisced back to his senior year of high school. He was

young and passionate, thinking that one day, after he graduated from high school, he

would make something of himself.

*****

It was 1:58 p.m. on December 15, 2008. Henry was sitting at the back of his

Calculus BC class, and his teacher was lecturing about the derivatives of inverse

trigonometric functions, but Henry didn’t know that. His eyes had been glued to the

clock for the past 5 minutes, because he knew that the results of Princeton

University’s Early Action applications were set to be announced at 2:00. Tick, tick,

tick. Henry rapped his fingers against the desk in fervent anticipation. Now it was

1:59, but Henry could wait no longer. “Mr. Rubenstern, can I use the restroom?”

Henry interrupted. After rolling his eyes, Mr. Rubenstern said yes. Making sure his

phone was in his pocket, Henry walked out of the classroom, trying to appear as

calm as possible.

As soon as he heard the door shut behind him, he immediately whipped out

his phone. A few taps of the screen later, Henry found himself at the loading screen

of the letter he so highly anticipated. Load already, why won’t you load?!? Henry

barely resisted the temptation to scream at his phone. 57 agonizing seconds later,

the letter loaded. Henry read the first word, “Congratulations ... “ and failed to stifle a

yell of euphoria.

*****

Now here Mr. Sullivan was, six years after his graduation from Rocky

Mountain High School. Here he was, deciding the fate of young 17 and 18yearolds

that really were not much different than he had been at one time. Mr. Sullivan

imagined that they were bright and zealous, just as he had once been. Most of all, he

imagined that they had the vigorous ambition and drive that he had once felt as a

young man. This ambition made Mr. Sullivan pause for a moment to appreciate the

power the decisions he made in his job had and the implications they would have on

others. He was responsible for deciding the futures of these students; he could fulfill

their dreams or crush them. With this in mind, Mr. Henry Sullivan glanced down at

one of the many applications he had received in the mailbox. It read:

Legal Name: Chen, Jason Date of Birth:03/14/1997 Gender: MaleMailing Address:

23 Oak View Drive, Chicago, IL, USA Race: Asian

The Princeton University admissions officer nodded with approval as his

eyes scanned the student’s application. SAT score: 2360. ACT score: 35. GPA: 3.9. He

placed the papers aside in his “Maybe” pile without giving it much thought, however.

Mr. Sullivan had seen countless other applications almost identical to this one, and

although the student’s resume was impressive, he knew the university had a strict

policy on admitting only a certain number of each racial group. He acknowledged

that raceconscious policies significantly damaged the prospect of Asian-

American applicants at many universities (Lim), but rules were rules. Of course

he knew Asians had been discriminated against in the past, but he felt that he

did not have time to think about such issues (Kahlenberg). He moved on to the

next application on his desk.

Legal Name: Smith, Mark Date of Birth:09/12/1996 Gender: MaleMailing Address:

142 Baxter Street, St. Louis, MO, USA Race: Black/AfricanAmerican

Mr. Sullivan’s eyes lit up. The university had been pestering him about

finding qualified applicants from racial minority groups to provide diversity at

Princeton, and this was exactly what he had been looking for. SAT score: 2190. ACT

score: 33. GPA: 3.85. He need not look much further. This one belonged in the “For

Sure” pile. He had read somewhere that black students were two and a half

times as likely to flunk out, but the university valued diversity and Mr. Smith

would certainly provide that. (Kahlenberg). Mr. Sullivan felt a few needles of

doubt pierce his resolve, however. In fact, he knew that minority students with

fewer credentials often became discouraged in challenging classes and

sometimes even dropped out (Heriot).

He felt like he might be doing something wrong; once, one of his friends had

even branded affirmative action policies as racism (Wise). His friend had

pointed out that Asians suffering from racial discrimination in the past were

harmed by affirmative action policies, calling the policy’s rationale into

question (Kahlenberg). Mr. Sullivan pondered the idea further. What if the NBA

enacted policies based on racial preference? What if professional sports leagues

limited the number of blacks or whites that could compete? (Elder) He decided

that this was an issue he could think about later; right now he had to focus on his

work. Mr. Sullivan sifted through the large stack of papers until he encountered

another interesting application:

Legal Name: Maria Espinosa Date of Birth: 12/28/1996 Gender: FemaleMailing

Address: Calle 28 No 1220, Monterrey, Mexico, Nuevo León, Mexico

Race: Hispanic/Latino

Princeton had received plenty of foreign applications, but each one was still

treated with pleasant surprise. Mr. Sullivan had a habit of always reading the essay

of any foreign applicants; often they contained interesting anecdotes and stories of

unfamiliar places. Maria Espinosa’s essay described the unbearable heat of her tall,

rundown apartment building and its contrast to the “lavish” conditions of “big

American houses.” Mr. Sullivan knew that Maria’s 1950 SAT score and 29 ACT score

were far lower than the usual Princeton standard of students, but he was reluctant

to reject an applicant that stood out so much from the others. He classified the

application as a “Maybe” and placed it on top of Chen’s application. Jason Chen was

just one of many Asian Americans to be placed at the back of the line through

the university's unannounced policies of affirmative action (Elder). The

hopeful Chicago student’s nearperfect SAT score and surplus of qualifications were

all but forgotten by Mr. Sullivan at this point.

Right then, Mr. Sullivan noticed an article on his desk that he had neglected

to read. It read: “University of California, Berkeley: A Unique Take on Affirmative

Action”. He scanned the article, not paying much attention to the details, but a few

statistics stood out to him. 3% AfricanAmerican, 39% Asian, 29% White (Elder).

That was strange. This was a school that believed purely in student qualification, a

school that didn’t take race into account.

He looked at the clock, which read 6:42 p.m. Mr. Sullivan realized he was the

only one left in the office. Well, I guess just one more can’t hurt, he thought to himself.

Her name was Kate Winston. Haven’t we had another Winston that just graduated a

few years ago? Sullivan thought. Ahh yes, Anna Winston. Bright girl, that Anna. Kate’s

2250 SAT score made Mr. Sullivan think that Kate might not be too different. Legacy

was a big deal to Princeton University (Heriot), so Kate had a good chance of

being admitted in any case. Mr. Sullivan yawned and made a new “Probably” pile for

Kate’s application. He decided he would look over it tomorrow, even though he

knew he would almost certainly end up moving it to the “For Sure” pile.

Works Cited

* NOTE: This writer did NOT use hanging indentation. Be sure you do!

Elder, Larry. "AffirmativeAction Programs Discriminate Against Asians."

Discrimination.Ed. Jacqueline Langwith. Detroit: Greenhaven Press, 2008. Opposing

Viewpoints. Rpt. from "What If the NBA Had Quotas?" Townhall.com. 2006. Opposing

Viewpoints in Context. Web. 7 Dec. 2014.

Heriot, Gail. "Affirmative Action Does Not Help Minority Students." Multiracial

America. Ed. Noah Berlatsky and Lynn M. Zott. Detroit: Greenhaven Press, 2014.

Opposing Viewpoints. Rpt. from "Opinion: Does Affirmative Action Help College

Students?" 2010. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 16 Dec. 2014.

Kahlenberg, Richard. "Asian Americans Complicate the Argument for Affirmative

Action." Multiracial America. Ed. Noah Berlatsky and Lynn M. Zott. Detroit:

Greenhaven Press, 2014. Opposing Viewpoints. Rpt. from "Asian Americans and

Affirmative Action." Chronicle of Higher Education 1 June 2012. Opposing Viewpoints

in Context. Web. 4 Dec. 2014.

Lim, Elvin. "Affirmative Action Is Racial Profiling." Racial Profiling. Ed. Carol

Ullmann and Lynn M. Zott. Detroit: Greenhaven Press, 2013. Opposing Viewpoints.

Rpt. from "Why Racial Profiling Is Like Affirmative Action." www.elvinlim.com 28

Nov. 2010. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 19 Nov. 2014.

Wise, Tim. "Affirmative Action Is Not Racial Profiling." Racial Profiling. Ed. Carol

Ullmann and Lynn M. Zott. Detroit: Greenhaven Press, 2013. Opposing Viewpoints.

Rpt. from "Affirmative Action for Dummies: Explaining the Difference Between

Oppression and Opportunity." Timwise.org. 2010. Opposing Viewpoints in Context.

Web. 19 Nov. 2014.