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Running head: FOREVER ALONE SYNDROME

Forever Alone Syndrome:

An Examination into Social Media’s Influence on Single Individuals

Leta Lohrmeyer

University of Nebraska at Omaha

The author, Leta Lohrmeyer, is an undergraduate student at the University of

Nebraska at Omaha in the School of Communication. She plans to graduate with a B.A.

in Journalism and Media Communication, emphasizing in Journalism, and a minor in

Communication Studies. Contact: [email protected]

FOREVER ALONE SYNDROME

Forever Alone Syndrome:An Examination into Social Media’s Influence on Single Individuals

Abstract

This study examines the implications of social networking web sites (SNSs)

within individuals that are not in a romantic relationship. Specifically drawing on

previous literature in communication studies, I suggest that the use of social media does

impact single people’s thoughts about romantic relationships. This study is contributing

to the literature by exploring a previously unresearched demographic. Individual’s online

ideal persona relates to single people’s perceived pressure to be in a relationship. To test

this idea, I conducted a survey that was distributed randomly across social networking

sites. Results support the idea that social media does influence single people’s

perceptions on romantic relationship, people are not happy to be single, and they have a

strong desire to be in a relationship. Theoretical implications for the role of SNSs in

single people’s thoughts about romantic relationships are discussed.

Introduction

As technology rapidly advances, communication using social networking sites

(SNS) has continuously grown in both accessibility and popularity (Coyne, Stockdale,

Husby, Iverson & Grant, 2011). Young adults and new generations have spent their entire

lives with the Internet and have grown up using SNSs like Facebook, Twitter, and

Instagram. This means SNS helps shape the world of communication and how we interact

with one another. Currently, young adults primarily use SNSs to connect and maintain

relationships, including more romantic intimate interactions (Sanchez, 2014); (Hardman

& Bazarova, 2018). There has been a trend, especially on Twitter of the hashtag

#foreveralone. The phrase “forever alone” has been used for years, mostly for comedic


effect about a person’s status of being single (Seeperad, 2014). This paper will look more

at romantic relationships on social media, what is communicated, and how it relates to

those who are not in a relationship.

There is a large number of studies on the topic of social media’s impact on

romantic relationships. One study delved into the subject of Facebook’s role in the

development of stages of romantic relationships (Fox, Warber & Makstaller, 2013).

Another study analyzed the SNS influence on romantic relationship characteristics like

attachment style, jealousy, commitment, and satisfaction (Rus & Tiemensma, 2017).

However, there is a gap in the literature when it comes to the influence social media has

on people who are not in a romantic relationship.

Problem Statement

There is a lack of academic research on the modern issue of peer-pressure to be in

a romantic relationship because of social media. Social norms have emerged as young

adults project their romantic relationship through SNS. People perceive couples as more

committed if they made a public declaration by going “Facebook official” (Fox, Warber

& Makstaller, 2013). The peer-pressure may not be intended but it has been found that

SNS can create jealousy from excessive photo-sharing or comments (Halpern, Katz &

Carril, 2017). People also build an ideal online persona that is detached from their real-

life self (Halpern, Katz & Carril, 2017). This could lead to unrealistic expectations of

what it is like to be in a romantic relationship when the ideal persona is constantly

absorbed by others on the Internet (Lenhart, Anderson & Smith, 2015). This study is

important as we progressively use social media to communicate our relationships (or lack

thereof) and what we communicate about them. The study will add to the previous


literature by looking at social media and romantic relationships but through the lens of an

under-researched demographic of single individuals.

Theoretic Expectations

The theoretical expectation between the proposed variables is that social

networking sites will influence a single person’s desire to be in a relationship. Through

the research of previous literature, there is a recognizable correlation between social

media and its effect on romantic relationships. This leads me to believe that there will

also be an effect on people who consume this media, even though they are not in a

romantic relationship.

Literature Review

Through the increased popularity of social networks new norms, expectations, and

behaviors have emerged. Fox, Warber, and Makstaller (2013) examined the role of

Facebook in the development of romantic relationships. Using Knapp’s stage model of

relationships, the authors contrasted the stages of initiating, experimenting, intensifying,

integrating, and bonding to Facebook (Fox, Warber & Makstaller, 2013, p.771). The

results of their study revealed that this SNS has evolved our social norms when it comes

to romantic relationships and has influence in each of Knapp’s proposed stages of a

relationship. For example, Facebook is used to seek information about a person to learn

more about who they are and what their relationship status is (Fox, Warber & Makstaller,

2013, p.779). The social media platform is also a social statement with participants

echoing the sentiment that if a couple is not official in real life unless they are ‘Facebook

official’ (Fox, Warber & Makstaller, 2013, p.784). This is a comprehensive analysis, but

the limitations include that the participants are only representing a college demographic.


They were in a mixed-sex focus group which could make disclosing information

uncomfortable for some participants. Again, this study only involves people who are in a

relationship and does not mention the effect Facebook has single young adults unless

they were the first stage of a relationship.

Expanding more on the idea of social media’s influence on relationships, authors

Hardman and Bazarova (2018) analyzed a combination of multiple media platforms, not

just one specific SNS. The researchers looked at the media multiplexity theory to see the

correlation of media with interpersonal communication and closeness in romantic

relationships. The results found that not only was there a positive relationship between

relational closeness and the number of media, but relational closeness is also associated

with more multimedia frequency and disclosure (Hardman & Bazarova, 2018, p.1122).

One of the limitations the study had was that the majority of participants were white

females, which limited the generalizability of the researchers' findings (Hardman &

Bazarova, 2018, p.1122).

Continuing with the previous theme of relational closeness, Sanchez (2014)

researched if there was a correlation between intimacy in a romantic relationship and

time spent on SNS. Results from the study state that these variables were not correlated

(Sanchez, 2014, p. 40). The author’s research shows that romantic partners felt pressured

to use Facebook to engage in relationship maintenance (Sanchez, 2014, p. 38). The

feeling of peer-pressure aligns itself to my future analysis on the subject. However, the

research differs from mine when it comes to researching people who are not in a romantic

relationship.


The use of social media when in a romantic relationship has revealed negative

implications. Studies by Rus and Tiemensma (2017) as well as Halpern, Katz, and Carril

(2017) looked into the subject of the jealousy effect. Halpern, Katz, and Carril found that

the combination of jealousy and self-idealization equals lower satisfaction in romantic

relationships (Halpern, Katz & Carril, 2017, p. 121). The self-idealization aspect is

relevant to my study as romantic partners use social media to project a flattering image of

the couple, often diverging from real-life. Rus and Timensma also found that SNS can

induce jealousy within romantic relationships. The results from the study show that

gender often influences types of jealousy felt. Females are more inclined to experience

jealousy through SNS; however, males often get jealous over specific nonverbal forms of

communication (Rus & Tiemensma, 2017, p. 701). Both studies recognized that while

SNS has negative effects, it also can benefit romantic relationships.

Research Priorities

There has been extensive research done on romantic relationships and the

influence of social media in the quality and satisfaction of the members of that

relationship. Previous literature has covered specific social media platforms, as well as

the entire concept of SNSs. The research that I will be completing will cover a new

demographic, individuals who are not in a romantic commitment. This group is not

recognized in the research and could be considered a silenced population. The topic of

peer-pressure with romantic relationships has been briefly mentioned, however, it

deserves to be expanded upon. This new research will still analyze how romantic

relationships are portrayed on social media but instead look at it from the perspective of

single people.


It is significant to analyze how social media is impacting single people’s

perception and outlook on romantic relationships. This study will first provide a review

of previous literature covering social media, romantic relationships, and peer-pressure.

Next, an overview of the researcher’s methods to examine the stated research questions.

Then, the results from the methods used will be provided, as well as a discussion of what

the results mean. Finally, there will be a summary and a conclusion about the

implications of the study.

Research Questions

RQ1: What role does social networking sites play in single young adults’ desire to be in a

romantic relationship?

RQ2: Do young adults feel pressure to be in a romantic relationship because of social

media?

RQ3: What is the relationship between social networking sites and single young adults’

perceptions of romantic relationships?

Methodology

In this study, the independent variable would be social media and the dependent

variable is the desire or pressure to be in a romantic relationship. Participants were drawn

from the entire population of respondents, 51 people, that completed the anonymous

Social Media and Relationships survey. Individuals completed the survey online as it was

distributed on both my personal Facebook page and Twitter page. On Facebook, four of

my friends shared the link on their page allowing the survey to be completed by more

than just my group of friends. Because of the nature of the study only single people were

requested to partake in the study. Seven participants responded that they were either in a


relationship or stated it’s complicated, for the purposes of the study and the time limit, I

will include these seven participants in the single demographic.

Participants

Approximately 80% of the participants were women and almost 18% were men.

Ninety percent of the sample identified themselves as Caucasian, 1.96% for both African

American and Asian, and 5.88% choosing the option of ‘other.’ The majority of

respondents ranged in age from 17-23 years-old with a few outliers including, a 28-year-

old, 32-year-old, and a 43-year-old. The most common age of participants at 29.41%

were 21-year-olds. Again, for this study 100% of the participants are considered single.

Method

The method used to conduct this study was a survey. The survey is a 13-item

questionnaire designed to evaluate the connection between single people and their use of

social media driving a desire to be in a relationship. The questions examine two main

topics, first their feelings about their relationship status and second their use of social

media. The questions relating to their relationship status covered several different

contexts, including their contentment with being single, if they felt pressure to be in a

relationship, and if they used the term ‘forever alone’ before. The questions involving

social media asked about which SNSs they use, how much time they spend on it in a

week, and how much they see others post about significant others. There were a few

more questions included in order to provide a comprehensive evaluation, such as one

question asking if their perception of love and romance have changed because of social

media.


Previous research involving romantic relationships and social media used a range

of methods including focus groups and field studies. However, I chose this particular

method because it allowed for several different people to respond in an anonymous

manner allowing for more transparency and easier distribution.

Results

To answer the first research question, social media does have an influence on

young adults’ desire to be in a romantic relationship. Only 15% of the 51 participants

indicated that they were neutral on the subject of being single, meaning 85% of people

answered, ‘definitely yes’ or ‘probably yes,’ they do want to be in a romantic

relationship. Respondents not only want to be in a relationship, but 86% stated they are

unhappy that they are single. The survey found that 36 participants have used the term

forever alone before, relating back to the idea of using social media to share humor about

being single. While there is not an absolute connection to social media and people’s

desire to be in a relationship, it could be seen that through the circulation of the ‘forever

alone’ ideation and exposure to other people’s relationships on social media it could

contribute to this dissatisfaction.

Answering the second research question, young adults do feel some amount of

pressure to be in a romantic relationship. These results found that the participants tend to

feel somewhat pressured to be in a relationship, with the average number on the Likert

scale being 5.02. This number is similar to the average number for how often single

people see others post about their relationship or significant other which was 6.72. The

exhibition of the online idealized persona of romantic relationships contributes to the

shift of social norms on SNSs.


The final research question asked if social media changed people’s perceptions of

love/romance. The survey found that 38 out of 51 participants say that social media has in

fact changed their perceptions of romantic relationships. These results relate back to how

much other people are posting about their relationship or significant other. This self-

idealization is similar to the Halpern, Katz, and Carril (2017) study, the need to portray

the best version of themselves or the relationship can distort the truth. This manipulation

on social media has impacted single people and changed their perceptions of romance.

Other results of the study found that the most used social media site is Facebook

with 49 participants being users. Instagram and Snapchat were close behind with 44 and

42 users, respectively. Hours spent on social media differed with the minimum amount

being 3-hours and the maximum being 70-hours. The average amount of time participants

spent on social media each week amounted to 24-hours.

Discussion

The culmination of this study found that social media does have a role in the

perceptions of single individuals. None of the participants indicated that they did not have

a desire to be in a relationship. This statistic is significant on how much value we, as a

society, put into romantic relationships. Further research would need to be done to get

more information about what develops that driving desire to be in a romantic relationship,

to see if it is because of social media or other external forces. Young adults do feel

pressure to be in a relationship in some capacity. There is no direct link to whether these

individuals feel pressured because of their use of social media or not. That may be an

idea for continuing research to see the connection to how many SNSs are used along with

how many hours spent on them in a week and how it relates to the amount of pressure


felt. This study found that most participants did feel that social media did influence their

perceptions on romantic relationships.

At the end of the survey people were encouraged to talk about anything else they

wanted to add (see appendix). A few of the comments included the idea that social media

allows people to romanticize their life only showing the positive aspects of their life, this

relates to the ideal online persona theory. This information is important to analyze to

recognize how much of an impact SNSs have on our societal norms and cultural mindset.

These developments in culture have an impact on how we interact with one another in all

our interpersonal communication, not just in a romantic sense.

Limitations

There are several limitations to this study, one example is the lack of diversity.

The majority of participants were Caucasian women. It would be beneficial to have a

wider, more diverse sample size that is outside my established Facebook and Twitter

friend group. If I were to do another study, I would include some questions relating to the

individual’s sexual orientation. Sexual orientation has a significant role in a person’s life,

and it could be interesting to gain more information about another demographic. Future

studies could also look more directly at what SNS has the most weight when it comes to

the sharing or spreading of romantic relationships. I speculate that it would be Facebook,

as seen through my survey, it is the most used social networking site.

Conclusion

This study was significant to analyze the nature of social media as it is now the

primary way that young adults stay connected. As technology continues to advance, it

can have both negative and positive effects, therefore, we must investigate its role in our


personal relationships. This study also demonstrates the potential for further research into

how people interpret messages shared through SNSs. By looking at how social media is

specifically impacting single people, we achieve a more diverse insight into a lesser

researched demographic. Results found that single young adults have a strong desire to be

in romantic relationships and social media does have a significant influence on their

perceptions of romance. This information allows us to better understand the implications

of the shift of societal norms as social media becomes a more vital role in our lives.


Appendix

Q1 - What is your gender?

# Field Minimum Maximum Mean Std Deviation Variance Count

1 What is your gender? 1.00 4.00 1.86 0.49 0.24 51

# Answer % Count

1 Male 17.65% 9

2 Female 80.39% 41

3 Nonbinary 0.00% 0

4 Other 1.96% 1

Total 100% 51

Q2 - What is your age?

What is your age? Percent Number

17 y/o 5.88% 3

18 y/o 13.73% 7

19 y/o 13.73% 7

20 y/o 17.65% 9

21 y/o 29.41% 15

22 y/o 3.92% 2


23 y/o 9.80% 5

28 y/o 1.96% 1

32 y/o 1.96% 1

43 y/o 1.96% 1

Q3 - What is your race?


1 What is your race? 1.00 6.00 1.37 1.24 1.53 51

# Answer % Count

1 White 90.20% 46

2 Black or African American 1.96% 1

3 American Indian or Alaska Native 0.00% 0

4 Asian 1.96% 1

5 Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islander 0.00% 0

6 Other 5.88% 3


Total 100% 51

Q4 - Are you currently in a romantic relationship?

# Field Minimum Maximum Mean Std

Deviation Variance Count

1 Are you currently in a romantic relationship? 1.00 3.00 1.98 0.37 0.14 51

# Answer % Count

1 Yes 7.84% 4

2 No 86.27% 44

3 It's Complicated 5.88% 3

Total 100% 51

Q5 - Do you want to be in a relationship?



1 Do you want to be in a relationship? 1.00 3.00 1.78 0.69 0.48 51

# Answer % Count

1 Definitely yes 37.25% 19

2 Probably yes 47.06% 24

3 Neutral 15.69% 8

4 Probably not 0.00% 0

5 Definitely not 0.00% 0

Total 100% 51


Q6 - How do you feel that you are not in a romantic relationship?


Q7 - What types of social media do you use? (select all that apply)

# Answer % Count

1 Facebook 19.60% 49

2 Twitter 14.00% 35

3 Instagram 17.60% 44

4 Snapchat 16.80% 42

5 Tumblr 3.60% 9

6 YouTube 14.80% 37

7 WeChat 0.00% 0

8 Pinterest 13.60% 34

Total 100% 250


Q8 - How many hours do you spend on social media per week?

# Field Minimum Maximum Mean

Std Deviation Variance Count

1 Hours on Social Media 3.00 70.00 24.14 15.72 247.02 51

Q9 - How often do you see people post about their relationship/significant other?


Q10 - Have you ever used the phrase "forever alone" before?

# Field Minimum Maximum Mea

nStd


1Have you ever used the

phrase "forever alone" before?

1.00 5.00 2.20 1.44 2.08 51

# Answer % Count



3 Neutral 3.92% 2



Total 100% 51


Q11 - Do you ever feel pressure to be in a relationship?


Q12 - Would you say your perception of love/romance has changed because of social media?

# Field Minimum Maximum Mean Std


1

Would you say your perception of

love/romance has changed because of

social media?

4.00 8.00 5.12 1.15 1.32 51

# Answer % Count



6 Neutral 7.84% 4



Total 100% 51


Q13 - Is there anything else you would like to add?Social media romanticizes everything and only shows the happiest portions of life, including relationships. It really weakens my confidence in myself to see that other people have apparently found their soulmate/someone that makes them incredibly happy and I have no one.

Sex isn’t as fun when you’re not dating them.. I’ve tried it like 40 times

love is love is love is love and LOVE YOURSELF FIRST

being single in a world that romanticizes so many things can get lonely but for me I sometimes feel empowered in vein my own person and not succumbing to the belief that having a significant other makes your life betterPeople worry so much about being in love and falling in love, but what they don't realise is if they can't love themselves then how can anyone else truly love them?The couples that constantly post about each other seem to have a superficial relationship and never last very long. Just an observation I’ve made...


References

Coyne, S.M., Stockdale, L., Busby, D., Iverson, B., & Grant, D.M. (2011). “I luv u 😊!”:

A descriptive study of the media use of individuals in romantic relationships.

Family Relations, 60, 150-162.

Fox, J., Warber, K.M., & Makstaller, D.C. (2013). The role of Facebook in romantic

relationship development: An exploration of Knapp’s relational stage model.

Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 30(6), 771-794.

Halpern, D., Katz, J.E., & Carril, C. (2017). The online ideal persona vs. the jealousy

effect: Two explanations of why selfies are associated with lower-quality

romantic relationships. Telematics & Informatics, 34(1), 114-123.

Lenhart, A., Anderson, M. & Smith, A. (2015). Social media and romantic relationships.

Pew Research Center.

Rus, H. M. & Tiemensma, J. (2017). “It’s complicated.” A systematic review of

associations between social network site use and romantic relationships.

Computers in Human Behavior, 75, 684-703.

Sanchez, A. (2014). Social media use and intimate relationships. California State

University, 36-42.

Seepersad, S. (2014). #foreveralone: When did it become cool to admit you were lonely?

Psychology Today.

Taylor, S.H. & Bazarova, N. (2018). Revisiting media multiplexity: A longitudinal

analysis of media use in romantic relationships. Journal of Communication, 68(6),

1104-1126.

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