WESTFIELD COLLEGE MAGAZINE

OCTOBER 1981

VOL. Vll NO. 1

EDITORS

KATE STANDEN

NEIL FRYER

INDEX

The figures speak for themselves: the imp­lications are terrible.

Accumulated

Deficit at

End of Year

E

31,000 (surplus)500,000

1,250,000

2,150,000

2,000

531,000

750,000

900,000

Financial Year

1980/81

1981/82

1982/83

1983/84

Rate of--------Annual Deficit

E

However, these figures relate only to 1981/82

and in the Principal's Fourth Situation

paper, which is available for examination at

the Union Office, the following table appears,

College faces the unenviable task of trying

to save money, for there are no easy solutions

to the problem. Several propositions have been

put forward. The question of staffing is a verydelicate one, for it would be most ~nwise to

actually enforce any terminations. of employ­

ment, so College are exploring the possibility

of voluntary early retirement or redundancy

where this would not cuase undue hardship

to those concerned. Also on the subject of

staffing, it has been suggested that the

implementation of any national pay awards

should be deferred, and that every mem~er

of College staff should take two week's unpaidleave before 31 January 1982, but whether

these plans will be implemented remains to beseen.

Other economy measures are contained in these

papers, but there are also several proposals

which affect students directly. Perhaps

the most striking of these is the proposed

addition of E16 per term to Residence Fee

during the Lent and Summer terms,and, allied

to this are the suggestions that all students

should be charged EIO per session for the

use of the Health Unit, and that a charge of

fOp per session per40minutes be placed on the

Squash Courts. As I have already stated, these

plans relate only to the current academic year

, and College have already begun thinking

about strategy for 1982 and beyond.

Remember, everything which has been said zhJut

Westfield concer~s you, your next door

neighbours and the people with whom T'u ".':'.,ondlectures so please don't sit back CO"lp'. ~',,,,:::ly

and let everything pass over your head, \;,0must all work together if we are to ac:l£i veanything. As the Principal so bluntly puts

it: "Our Collesge faces the threat of extinctionThose words have never held more truth than

at the present moment.

As all of you should be aware by now,

the Government has recently implemented a

round of spending cuts in Higher Education.

The aim of this article is to give you someidea of what these cuts mean for Universities

in general and for Westfield in particular.

Overall, the picture is a pre.tty grim one,

although some institutions· have escaped more

lightly than others. Hardest hit are Saiford,

Aston, Bradford, Keele and Stirling who are

facing cuts in their ~ncome of between 44%and 27% by 1983/84, and who wi~l lose between17 and 30% in student numbers.

This, then, is the national picture, but whatabout or own little microcosm at Westfield?

How have we fared? We, in common with other

institutions, are suffering in two ways:

firstly, Westfield was to prune its home and

EEC students to 910 by 1983/84 and secondly,

the grant which the College receives from the

University of London is being cut by E278,500.

The first consideration is an important one,

for, as the Principal has pointed out, if the

College lost a mere dozen or so home students

then around EIO,OOO would be lost in income,

which indicates how closely linked studentnumbers and finance are. However, the

target number does not include overseas

students, so College's aim will be to take as

many of these people as possible because of

the high tu~tion fees they pay.

However, not all institutions have been hit

as hard as this: Oxford, Cambridge and themore traditional Universities have fared

relatively better, and Bath and UMIST have

actually had their student numbers increased.

This brings us nicely on to the question of

finance: what is Westfield's monetary situation

at the moment and, considering this situation,

what will be done to save mcney? Apart from

the E278,500 drop in our recruitment grant,

there are a number of other contributary fac+~Ts

which go to make a total estimated deficit

for 1981/82 of ES31,000. This sounds a lot,

and it is a lot, but a more striking way of

putting it is to say that at the moment,

Westfield is overspending by more than EIO,OOO

a week, with this estimated deficit amounting

to about 9.8% of College expenditure

Th(e implications of these cuts are enormousand this means that many highly qualified

young people will lose the chance of benefiting

from higher education, especially considering

·th~"fact that between now and 1983/4 the numb&r

of 18 year olds in Great Britain is expected

to reach a peak of approximately 78~,000.

4: "Wally Through theBIu-Tack"

A short story byM. Beattock

ISSUE

AND

*2p (if inflation hasn't setin)

*The full story (or as full

as it is at the time) about

Westfield's closure/merger

*Lots of feedback from thisissue?

3: Disarmament

- Alan Le Grys

8: Edinburgh Fringe

Festival Reports

67it.J Fresher's Week

5: First Eye ViewsFirst Week Blues

NEXT

9: Edinburgh cont.What's On

Reviews

*And anything else you careto offer:

~ interview with Michael

Pal in (that great Auctioneer

of 'Ripping Yarns' fame)

Agression

- George Morley

2: 2p

Those pillars, or was

it columns, of wisdom.

10: Editorial Comments

12: In My Liverpool Home- Chris Austin

QuestionnaireThanks

11: Letters to the Editors

Page 1: Index

Cuts - Stig

Stig

G(~()rqinil Morl cy

As I said,a minor incident, yet my reaction

to it was at the time,fright and shock. I

was shaking and crying all night. This may

seem entirely disproportionate but looking

back what upset me were the implications ofthe whole affair. It waS an act of mindles=

and gratuito~s aggression. We were wal~ing

down the street and suddenly,wham,somethingwas thrown at us in order to hurt us. Such

incidents are all too common, unprovoked

violence is a feature of our society.

Far worse things are done by minoless

idiots to defenceless people every day ofthe week. More often than not such

occurrences are perpetrated by men and

it seems to me symptomatic of our society

which, despite much progress in the realm

of sexual roles and stereotypes, remains

patriarchal. Any woman is open to attack

when she steps outside her front door andinto the street alone.

As a woman who has lived in London all my

life and who enjoys a considerable degre~ (independeDce it comes as a shock suddenlyto be reminded of the innate threat encount

red simply by walking through streets. It inot a threat perculiar only to women but or

which holds more danger and discomfort forus than it does for men. A woman threatenec

by violence in the street is far more

vulnerable and open to attack than a man ir

the same position.

My concern with such incidents was sparked c

by cOIDnarati vel v minor incident which,

nonethe~ess,affected me quite deeply. A

couple of weekends ago I was walking withmale friend from his house to the station

in Teddington in order to return to town.

As we walked along the empty streets a van

drove past,and an occupant of which hurled

something straight at us,hitting my face.

The object turned out to be an empty Mac­Donald's drinks carton filled with ice,

which is hardly immediately classifiable a~an offensive weapon. Although it did not

hurt me I was appalled by the fact that

someone had obviously wanted to hit us. We

were the only people in the .street and it

was impossible to suppose they were simply

throwing away the carton as in that case

they would have simply dropped it out ofthe van windowe

Agression is not a predominantly male vice,

yet in our world of sexual stereotyping inwhich men are still indoctrinated wit:h

l'desirable" macho characteristics, and

women with "desirable" feminine character­

istics, aggression is going to remain very

much their province. Until such time as

society adapts itself to a world in which

it is 'desirable' and acceptable for a man

to be anything less than an amalgam ofSuperman, Clint Eastwood and Mastermind andfor a woman to be something more than an

amalgam of Marilyn Monroe, Mrs. Miniver and

a Barbie doll, mindless aggreSsion is c)oinqto be seen very much as a male charactcrist

ic. Its perpetrators go against any view 0men which is less than hard-li.ne feminist

(a view I do not share). They exacerbate

the --sex war and add ijrist to the> ('xtrcrn(~feminist's mill.. Until society ctlanq0s it

is going to be very hard for men and women

to lurlqc o<lch other solely on their indivi~dllal merits. At the back of their minds

the sexual stereotype is, at present,

never vc'ry fa r away - mODRre thL~ (lqqrC'ssorwomen the victims. It c]oesn't illways RFlply

but. thp fact that it does clt ,111 is un}ustilnd unF.lcceptable in a T;lt ion;:11 c1CITlOCr;l tic

society an(l it should CCilSC' - soon.

Firstly, my thanks go to Kate and Neil

for allowing me space in this, the first

issue of 'WeCe' under their editorship;

the very best to them both.

What's the Student's Union up to at the

moment? Well now the panic of Fresher's

Week is over there are several importantissues that we have to work on. The most

important by far is the Cuts Campaign.

Contained in this issue is an article by

"the most genial,witty,talented and totally

prolifigate member of the Executive."--­

Steve O'Hara on the cuts in University

funding. Do read and assimilate since these

cuts will affect the quality of your

education and the future of the University

system. Will there be a Westfield for your

offspring to go to?

W.C.U.S. decided last year NOT toaffiliate to the C.N.D. movement. What do

you think about the matter? Is it an issue

you would like to see raised again?

"Boycott Barclays" say N.U.S. becauseof their investment in South Africa. We

are affiliated to the Anti-Apartheid move­

-ment but allow advertising from Barclays

in our handbook simply because they ask to,

and we do not have a "Boycott ... " policy.

Are there any 'persons' out there who

feel strongly about Women's Riqhts? I haveasked N.U.S. if we can be on the Women's

MQvement mailing list so the information

about what's happening is available; is

anyone interested?

Several important posts on the Executive

become vacant in I'!!id-Novemberand you'll

hear more of these soon;your chance to getinvolved:

On Tuesday 13th I went to Senate Housefor the Installation of Princess Anne as

the new Chanceilor of London University.A very civilized occasion it was too and

during the reception afterwards I was

introduced to Hrs. Philips and shook her

hand: I can only hope that after the

controversy surrounding her election (the

opposition being Jack Jones and Nelson

Mandela ) that she will serve the University

as well FtS the r:JueenNlother,her predecessor.To conclurle, have a marvellous time il ~

Westfield, I anoloqise for t.he multitude

of questions thro\Vn at you but I hope th~rthey provide you with food for thouqht.

Yours, Davi(~.

A rough calculation shows that this term issomewhere around the one-hundred-and-fiftieth

that I have started in my life, but I look

forward to it as much as ever. And if you

think that that shows only a rather

uncritical enthusiasm for life~ well~ Imake no apology for that:

I always enjoy the beginnings of a new

academic year: suddenly the whole place

bursts into life and, while the Long

Vacation has hardly been noticeabie for

relaxation this year, the influx of our own

students, and especially of the new gener­ation of first-year_st~dents, has a joyous

and welcome effect on old stagers like

myself.

Next, you will be hearing more and more

about the horrendous impact of the cuts in

university grants ttd.s year: no detaiL

now - but I want to warn you that every

mewber of College, and that includes

students, is going to be affected in one

way or another. In particular, there's not

go~ng to be much point in complaining about

it all: more to the point will be a

readiness to help the College, your

College, survive.

First, I want to be bold enough to say that

I am the most accessible of Prin'.:ipals. Youcan walk in between 9 and 9.30am any day

without an appointment and the chances are

that I will be in and ready to see you at

onCE. Alternatively, you can always make

an appointment with my secretary Miss Sue

Lewis but that might mean waiting for a

few days.

Talking of years, I had better remind you

that this p's Column is only a year old:

but I think that the general feeling

last year was that it was quite a Good

Thing. W.C. - 0 that the initials were

different - is just like any other student

newspaper: some year's it's awful, others

it's just tolerable, and sometimes it's

excellent. I hope that, under Kate Standen

and Neil Fryer's editorshiJl', this will be

one of the vintage years; and I wish ttem

every success and satisfaction in~hat is

a tough job.As for me, this first Column in the first

term's issue gives me the chance of saying

one or two personal things to students

in the large - and then in later Columns

this year I will be commenting upon the

important happenings within the College.

Last, long experience (I have been heresince 1966) tells me that 0hen the

students want to let off steam about

something, the Principal is their most

obvious target. Fair enough - but don't

underestimate either the warmth of my

sympathy and support for good causes, orthe determination with which I can rout

,bad ones:

IWith my best wishes for a thoroughly

successful student year,

What all of these people have in comm0~

is a deep concern about the present accel-·

eration of the Nuclear Arms RaCE'. A,=~,:t'~n, it

miaht be helpful to establish C'll'':' or t\"1~:'-"facts:

~) there are currently sufficient stocks

0r. nuclear we~pons available to Russia,

i~-::.~~USA, Britain and France to destroy

,~'i,Tc:ryman, 'Ivomanand child alive today

~~~~~~ (for those who stubbornlyre-cuse to die fixst ti:'Je)

ofPresident Eisenhower onCe said, "Same

day the demand for disarmament by ·hundreds

millions will, I hope, become so u~iversal

and so insistent that no man, no nation,can withstand it."

Last year a group of influential funerican

scientists met as they have done for manyyears to consider "the condition of <the

world".They have also for many years

described their analysis in the terms

of a clock, with midnight as their

description of Doomsday. Last year, they

set the clock at two minutes to midnight.As Gov~rnments continue to move towards the

disaster, it is we, the ordinary pe~ple,who must convince them that suicid?,j is nota good enough answer.

Alan Le Grys.

Chaplain.

If anyone would like to know more about the

Hampstead branch of the World Disarmament

Campaign, then please ask.

To follow the showing of the Government'sCivil Defence film 'Protect and Survive'

on October 21st, the J.C.C. will be putting

on another showing of the 'War Game' on

Wednesday, 28th October at 7-30 p.m., tobe followed on November 4th by a discuss.:'on

about the issues raised in the films, led

by Mr.John St.John, Chairman of Hampstead

W.D.C. Please come along.

N. B.S$ wa

This article was commissioned '~)yHW ~C ~H

this month in order to try and provok2

some debate amongst the intelligent aroe.sensitive mass of the student body 2.bo\J.t~

the topic of nuclear disarmament~David Frusher also draws atb:::;,'ltic·!J.

this matter in his column on p.'.'land it is intended to bring a l.lK,;,',:50: -~,;;::::~o

the next Union General Meetin" ,.• ";~us>gthat W.C.TJ.S. should affiliatp. e:h',

Campaign for Nuclear Disarmarr.~:]"

We hope this feature will lean. ycu 'cobecome invoJ..ved in the discuss':;'cnof tt'Lisvital question.

There are many, other important arguments

about peace, disarmame~t 'and defence and

the debate will go on for a long time yet.One of the most important questions for

this country has to be the -future of our

own '''independent''nuclear force· there

is no ~asy answer to the unilat~ral versus

Multilateral disarmament debate, but all

such arguments must continue. And so must

the work for disarmament of any kind. It

has never before been so important.

f) 'The creation of a new generation of

nuclear weapons actually threatens our

ability to protect o'lrselves without using

nuclear missiles. The cost of developingTrident, for instance, is so enormous that

our Defence-Secretary recently~ad to ann­ounce cutbacks in so-called 'conventional- '.'.forces. Nuclear weapons are changing frombeing "weapons of the last resortll to

being "weapons of the first resartll The

recent defence cuts announced by the Reagan

administration reinforce this process.

g) One last thought - the amount of money

needed to eradicate malnutrition, poverty

and unemployment and to set up basic health

care programmes has been estimated by theUN to be about $17 billion. This is an

enormous amQunt of money - about as much

.as the world spend~ on armS every twoweeks, in fact.

are quoted as saying nIt would be more

accurate to saY",Te were seconds rather

than minutes away from asking the

President to order a nuclear retaliatory

strike. 11

c) The new generation of weapons being

developed by both the USSP. and the USA

makes nuclear War more likely - they

are described as 'tactical weapons' ­

designed to limit the extent of anywar. lOreviously we have been told that

the use of nuclear weapons would beunthinkable because of the total dest­

ruction they would cause. Similarly,

government instructions issued in this

country earlier this year amount to

preparation for war - such as those

requiring local NHS adminisrators to

draw up plans for coping with war

casualties and th& republishing

of the Civil Defence plans. All such

plans are, in fact, total rubbish,

which is why so many doctors, Civil

Servants and local government officaals

refuse to accept them. C~vernment

figures show that in the event of a

nuclear war some 30-35 million people

would be killed outright (including most

of the population of London) and thatthe resultant destruction would mean

that there would not be enough hospital

facilities, drugs, dressings, let

alone doctors, left to cope with even

the most seriously injured. Some doctors

have commented recently that they have

received documents describing how theyshould make best use of natural and

herbal remedies in the event of a

nuclear war - fallout permitting, ofcourse. All of this contributes to a

climate where it becomes possible to

think .the unthinkable - it is apsychological preparation for war.

I have been asked to write a,little about

the. Disarmament Campaign, and so I think

it importan~ to establish one or two facts:

firstly, ,"that the Campaign is sUDporte.d

by all the main Political Parties ;~ this

country - Mrs Thatcher herself, in a speech d) Nuclear wars have not prevented

in Parliament last year, welcomeo the other warS - the UN estimates that

birth of the WDC. Secondly, it is not there are about 150 wars goina on

another esoteric pacifist organisation. Ma~v. somewhere in the world. The m~haso~ us '\'1hoare involved in WDC are not - also faiJed, to, re,?orclany single day

pacifists, and would agree that there is since the end of the last World War

a genuine need for some sort of defence when there has not been a serious

policv. Finally, the WDC is sunported by outbrei,k of military conflict.

all sorts of people - clergy, doctors, Furthermore, no weapon ever invented by

la~ers, ,teachers; indeed, most of the man has E?~.been used sooner or later.prof essi-bns are well :r:-epresentedand there ,e)The deployffient of nuclea~ weapons in

are even some people '\'1h.ohave spent their Europe makes it tactically more likely

careers in the Ar~ed ~0~~es. In many ways, that we would be the first target in

the Peace ',ovement todaY. consists of the event of a Russian attack as they

an unl,Jkely coalition of people who ~~vp comE would need to knock out our weapons

together specifically because ,of a mutual before w-' got the chance to use them.concern about the arms race. It ,is i~Dort~nt This is why the Government will only

to establish these credentials, becau~e admit that one or two very remote a~eas

many opponents of WDC try to discredit' it might receive a direct hit. r·1ountbattenby smearing' it simply as n.disruptive huncJ.l also said "The ~elief' is that, \Vere

of unintelligent' hooligans in the pay 0-1=' hostilities ever to href.lkout in

Moscow. Anyone whobeli~ves that is uar'P;ls liJesternEurope, such weapons could beinvitee t6 attend a WDC meetinq. used in field ~arfare without triggering

;:'l1. all-out nuclear exchange leadj nn t.()

The ~ignificance of Lord Mountbatten'sspeech was two-fold: firstly, as a close

relative to the Queen, and as a loyal member

of the Armed Forces, there could be no

question that what he had to say was either

ill-informed or politically motivated, and

secondly because his speech coincided hTith

a new wave of fear generated 'by the ~nnoun­cement of the deployment of the SovietUnion's 5s10 bc,mbers and the USJI'~.Cruise

missiles at a time of increasing internat~

ional tension. Lord Mountbatten gave the

impetus to m~ny other concerned men and

WO'11ento come together at that time andqive new life to the Peace movement and

to rescue it from the cranks and extremists.

From this new movement was born the World

Disarmament Campaign, which is now steadily

gRining ground in both membership andinfluence.

"In the event of a nuclear war, there will

be no survivors - all will be obliterated. "

Tha~: quotation came not from someone who 'V'las

vlell kno\'Jn~or their involvement in the

C.N.D.Novement,but from a man: who is

reme~bered more for his patriotism and

service to this country both in wartime

and in peace; it is a brief quotation from

an important speech made by Lord Louis

Mountbatten, Admiral of the fleet, for~er

Supreme Allied Commander in S.E. Asia and

Chief of the British Defence Staff He

made the speech in May 1979, shortly before

he was killed by the IR~. (Copies of the

speech are available to anyone who wouldlike one.)

The Editors.

"Wally and the Smartie pusher."

A C/4Mie '1~ ~~

ThE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF "WALLY THROUGH

THE BLU-TACK"

•

Well, my little Kleenex tissues, this is

the bit ...·e've all been waiting for, your

very own little Stalkipoo's expose of theins and outs of College life; this is wherE

you find out what all those intelligentand sensitive Bedfield students have been

up to in the past few months.

In the cold light of dawn at least twenty

young hopefuls went up to Edinburgh on

board a band wagon full of oildrums, while

one of the stouter members of the company

(no, not Geo.rge "Psychedelic Woolly" Morley

came in her own sweet tim~ .•.Talking of

JlRubbing it Up", I hear the 'Crearnies' are

playing in the bar again. Let's hope that

Phil, the bassist, can muster a betterchat line than the one he did last time ­

lIyou know, love, you're the only really

Creamy bird 'ere 1I

Meanwhile, petals, Captain Beaky and his

trusty band of Beaky Freakies were busy

organising Frusher's Week. The well-oiled

machine that is the Exec. managed the

whole task with typical decisiveness and

attention to detail, spending more than 15

minutes discussing the intricacies of

chaining up a door and, two minutes later,

over-ordering the number of Railcards

required for the Squash by 200%. That littl

administrative hiccup almost put WCUS

£2000 in the red for a couple of days.

Back to Fresher's Week. I think that

everything went very smoothly and

everybody got nicely integrated, especially

most of the male helpers ••• ever wondered

why we never run short of willingvolunteers the first week of October? Still

a very profitable time was had by all andit doesn't take the vast rescources of the

Computer Unit to suss that the vast "

resources of Dani Vastbeerbelli managed

to net well over 600 sheets on the Hop andthe Barn Dance ".....that was Joe Clever

wasn't it John?" - don't spend it all on

mud wrestlers for·the Crimble Ball.

Chris Stalker

I suppose, as its Numero Uno for this

year, I had better give heartfelt 'Grats

to Kate Fryer and Neil Standen, or is it .•.

Well, Tim Sturley-look-alike Martin

Not-As_young-As-l-Look can probably tellwhich is which and in what order but as

Kate - or was it Neil? - said at the last

UGM, "I1m sure Martin's more experienced

in these matters than I am." Well, youshould know, hon!

Talking of cash flow problems, make sure

that you buy lots of Mars Bars, cherubs ­

our·.Tuck Shop Monitor says its the only

thing that keeps us turning over - and,

talking of Tuck Shop Monitors turning over,

(who says I don't pre-plan this drivel) acertain Eric Fullman was overheard to

impart, as a rather attractive young lady

(yes, rosebuds, that was 'lady')walked

past: "I could almost go STRAIGHT for her!"A compliment, surely, but hardly one worth

Di-ing for! Oh, enough of this obscurity,

let's get it out in the ppen •.. I know Ihave ...

And so, flowers, its back to the academic

grind for one more term. I'm off to

re-read my article on 'Sexual Perversions

in Jesuit Kindergartens' for Grey News,

then its back for a spot of research in

the bar .•• 'bye for now, Westford ..•

M. Beattock

...When he awoke Wally had an awful head­

ache and a tingling sensation in his

lower nether regions."Golly, that Turkish

stuff is really' strong," thought Wally

who always followed a good manipulation

of the Blu-Tack with a nightmare about

him trying to do something responsible

lfar society, like burning a tube of Smarties.Except we know it wasn't really a dream,don't we?

...overture of IIA Day in the Life" accomp­

anied by a misting over of the eyes, a loss

of gravity in the brain and a numbingsensation all over ...

Shrinking backwards in fear and trembling

from this loaded question, a smaller Wally

than we formerly knew and loved broke out

into a cold sweat. Beads of perspiration

appeared on his forehead and trickled down

his pock-marked visage, making his light

pink mascara run in rivulets towards his

black lipstick. Wally did a wobble in his

Carnaby Street plus-fours and began to

stutter. He enjoyed that, for it had beena short time since the last one. Then his

worst fears were realised as Marvin

stealthily dipped his hand into his sho~lder

bag (a fetching Bill Gibbs creation ca~led

'Shoplifter's Sackymundo') and pulled outa multi-coloured cardboard tube. He rolled

it seductively and then casually flicked off

the plastic top."D'ya want some?", he

enquired, raising one eyebrow and tilting

his head invitingly to one side, revealing

to all and sundry his lop-sided neck.

Wally began to back away nervously: "My

Mum warned me about people like you; I've

heard a~l about the damage you do to

When he awoke Wally found himself in today's youth. 'Smartie people are happy

unfamiliar surroundings, cars and taxis people' you reckon? Well, I've seen the

stopping and starting and tooting and results, addicts littered all ovpr the

hooting in possibly the biggest marmalade Underground, all emaciated ~nd tre~hling

Wally had ever clapped his hands on. Peering because Jim can't fix it. You people

productively into the distance, our should be sent to a pastille farm for ten

intraveneous hero thought he could see centuries by Geoff Boycott (equivalent

la street-name. still suffering from to three to four years, Ed) and see how

a degree on the Farenheit scale, w~ich was you get on there. I don't want anything

muchly clouding his vision, Wally could to do with you!" And with that last defi-

barely make out the letters. Gradually ant comment Wally turned smartly on his

however, as he put his clothes back on, he heel and marched straight into a tree .•.

realised in a jiff the mysterious hiero­

glyphics were telling him (sotto Voce)t~at he was in the last resting place of

a group of turf accountants. After he had

had time to think, sneeze, cought belch,

fart, pick his nos~, squeeze a few zits

and compose Tchaikovsky's 1813 Underture,

Wally was all of a sudden overwhelmed

by a small man with round spectacles, a

pinched nose and a ponced-up hair-don'twho introduced himself. Several minutes

later as he was leaning on a lamp-post

yearning for a BBC report Marvin said:

IIHey man, d'you want some ...stuff?11

It was a beautiful summer day as Wally

stumbled home early one morning after a

night on the slates, painting the town

magnolia and all that jazz funk. "What Ineed is a whole bunch of an escapade",

wallied Wally while he wellied the water

in the kettle in his conceptual kitchen."I haven't touched the old blue stuff

for a good few hours, it should have

recharged itself by now", he thought to

himself, as he was wont. (Not a terminal

case, I hasten to subtract.) So off hebumbled to the farthest reaches of his

boudoir, which was no longer ticklish, not

now that he's dusted them. Composing

himself as if he were a beetroot, farmer

Wally let his machinating fingers loose

on a succulent lump of Turkish Blue ...

First Views

P is for PRUDEnce'

• Illl~__ !II=III_

Monday 12th will remain an important date

in the minds of this yearls freshers. It

offered the first opportunity to find out

whether Berridge Hall really is a converted

borstal, and the first opportunity to find

out whether the P really is ..well ..what isthe P?

That the P chose a converted borstal for his

first talk to us cannot be regarded as

significant of his attitude towards stud­

ents. Perhaps it isn't, but the atmosphere

of moral probation proved to be a fittingenvironment for the p's talk.

He entered with a flourish and a round of

applause. In his own words IIquite a

dramatic entryll. For those who were unable

to attend (shame on you), he is a tall,

thin man, slightly effete, and with morethan an area of conservatism about him.

He began the lecture by naming the headingsunder which he intended to talk, for

something approaching 3 minutes each.

These were: Westfield and you, The role of

the P, London, Money, Alcohol, Drugs, andnoise.

Now, as regards Westfield and us, the P

went to great pains to emphasise our

position as members of the smallest college

in London (small' i~ beautiful), but also

as members of the largest University in

England (~is beautiful ). A briefmention of the fact that we are quite well

integrated into the community, and hemoved onto his role in all this.

It seems that the p is almost bereft of

any effective power. Do not let his title

mislead you ... the P is not a "Mr. Fixit"who can solve all your little problems.

In fact it seems rather unlikely that you'll

ever see him again; unless, of course, you

commit an indiscretion. 80 if you ever

have cause to complain about refectory

meals, thell.30 rule or anything else, don't

put the blame at the doorstep of our poor

old .P; he evidently can't do anything about

it, and the rules are there for your own

good anyway.

Next on the list was London, and the P

was really getting into his stride; arrrs

waving like a windmill, it was like

Larry Grayson meets Magnus Pike as he

fairly showered us with his words of wis­dom. We are indeed fortunate to live in

this seething metropolis, the hub of theknown universe and not an lf2.0:.bsolute hole"

like Liverpool or even Manchester.

Evidently there were no representatives

of these great northern cities present

as there was no great outcry at this gross

misrepresentation. We are all urged to

take advantage of the cultural and aca­

demic facilities available to us here,

which is quite correct, and I think we

should a~so try to avoid London'soccasional dodgy spots, like Brixton,

Shepherds Bush, the East End, the Dock

areas,Soho,etc •..They're probably full of

northerners anyway~

Money is a very important matter to all

students, and the P is an expert on

student finance, having 6 (count 'em)

children of his own (which revelation

earned him a round of applause, to which

his reply was: 11 it's easy when you know

how."I suppose it is; as long as it'sdone between 9am and 11.30). As we all

know, the student grant is more than

enough to support our frugal needs, and

the P sees no good reason why money for

the odd holiday should be included in the

grant; in fact, he deducts this amount

from his children's grant when he is mak~

ing it up to the full amount. Also, too

much is allowed for textbooks, and his

children must produce receipts in 'order to

claimback money on the books they must buy­

an eminently sensible idea, particularly

in a large family. On borrowing money,

the P has one piece of advice..don't~In accordance with his advice concerning

Barclaycard I have, of course, .sh~eqded.

mine, and consigned the remains t; the

dustbin. Banks are after all, evil

organisations concerned on~y with getting

their hands on your grant (if yours has

actually arrived); that a grant cheque isuseless without somewhere to cash it is

irrelevant.

The P has the greatest sympathy for all

those who have to claim the major part of

their grant from their parents as he knows

they can sometimes be recalcitrant when

it comes to couqhing up; I'm sure his

own children also sympathise.

Alcohol is a drug: mentally destructive,

a severe social problem. "You studentsdrink far too much of it. So STOP IT ~"

We're not entirely to blame, of course;some of the blame lies with our alcoholic

parents who encourage us by having the

odd G&T (or even sherry, perhaps) in

front of us at home. In case you don't

know, the P has already told our parentsas much at the little talk he had with

them at the start of term. I'm quite

honestly shocked that the various

departments were allowed to pour sherrydown the throats of teetotal Freshers at

the departmental gatherings: And do you

know that some students spend as much as

£2 a week on drink1 Wanton wastage and

debauchery:

Drugs are extremely silly things tobecome involved with, and can be likened

unto a Barclaycard. The rate of interest

and debt becomes too high, and its a

short step to the gutter; so the P says.

Fortunately, this place has never had

any real problem w~th that sort of thing.

Sex. The P was rather vague on this

issue; "We have this 11.30 rule, and you

all know what that's all about, so I will

say no more ... 11 Well, by implication,

naughty activities are permitted between

the hours of 9 am and 11.30, assuming

you have time. The P not only runs this

place, but has found time to raise six

children, so it can be done: Just make

sure you have a good stop-watch.

Noise is something we all make, and is

best kept to a minimum, particularly atexam time; the most sensible words I've

heard the Putter.

The P concluded his talk with a mention

of the rumours about College closure. I

didn't find it particularly reassurinq

as it seemed to concentrate on the fact

that many other Colleges would go

bankrupt before we do. Presumably, we're

supposed to derive some comfort and

reassurance from the probability tha"t \Ye

won't be first to go. I~ fact, the Pwill b"e surprised if Liverpool Universit.yisn't in severe financial difficulties

by the end of this first year: It was

the P's largest side-step of the evening

~nd I don't think it put paid to anyone's

houbts about the suvivability of ',Vestfield.

It seems very much in the lap of the gods.

That was it. There was no open forum for

questions at the end, although the P made

himself available for individual questions.

I do hope we get another chance to meet the

P, as I was-n't entirely satisfied with the

impression I, for one, obtained from this

talk. As we left Berridge, the sky was

grey and it was raining-pathetic fallacy?

I hope not.

Andy R.

PS. You really should have gone ·to Exeter,not Westfield. The P tells us it has the

most beautiful campus.

ProblemsWHERE ARE MY PROBLEMS?

Having arrived on a rainy Sunday afternoon

looking forward to three years of wine,

women and song (and a modicum of wor~life was good. A pleasant room and a large

number of very attractive young women (aGd

men1) Names and faces began flying past

with ever-increasing speed, confusing an0bemusing but always entertaining. I cou:Ld

see myself really enjoying myself lcere.

Then came the first meetings with lecturers

and tutors and the beginnings of my now

enormous inferiority complex - I didn I t. haVE

any problems. I was being allocated peop1-e

for this problem and people for that proLleli

and I hadn't got any. I began looking arour.c

at ever'ybody and thinking, Ilr won(ler wha:ther problem is?" "r wond-er which pJ':oblem­

solver he's been to see?" I checked my

bio-rythm chart, I read my starsr I loox2d

into my diary but nowhere could I fin~ o~twhen my problems would appear.

Then to cap it all, the trip to CUi-triO]

School and through the mill again, All

reassureing smiles saying 11Don It \.J(HI can solve your problems." A litt~:?from a happy, motivated but ~'·c~,Fresher PLEASE CAN I HAVE

NOW! :

M.A. Chapman

,------t>

\

~--~-Following firs~-=--_::"~:-.:. r~.":'ez--;.'cclS in the

last bastio~ c= ;~~~:.~: ~~~~~~~, the college

bar, the Heal~~ -_-=-_:..:. ..';~~ :::-.,:~--.:::;:~':: --;·;':'th ne':,'arrivals sigr.i~g :~ =:r =~~~=~:':"8~ar.G thestreet-credibi=-:"~·- =..:..:-_::. ...:..::: :':-.~-:' :"s e.ssentialfor a Westfielci 6.:"s::. "::-.:-.::,.,__::<,_ -.:;.

performance fro~ :::;"--=.r=r~s_::o:::-_:. =-=-_ :':-_2 BirdieDance- such a -~!2rSi5.:':=-::: '=,=.:. := :.:-_e .?eople1•Oxbridge rejects :';E:r~ ~~s: _::"_::::-:=-:::e...lce in

those crazy boat r~:-=-.:::-, .....:-_:..::-. .:.:...:. :luch tobreak the ice bet·,·;e:=:..-.?::-~s::-_~:::-=3.:_':: seasoneCl.

Westfieldians li~e ~~~ :~~ :..~:~r ~icture.

Another day of~e.;:~eral acclimatization for

new arrivals, back for lcoffee and danish'

for some,or strolls around Hampstead for

others. MeanHhi~e the lively few were maki.ngtheir first (and only?'.;encount~er with the

Caroline Skeel Library. The~ in the eveningthe film society regaled everybody with anintroduction to the alternative lp' in the

guise of I Monty Python I s Life of Brian', cl

resounding success for all concerned

including Eastern Electricity?

I

~ ..' -.~.~.1I,

. \,

-./

Cartoons:

Simon Williams

=_--=:"05 .!l..ustin..'::":':0 ;;;:-'3.nden.

.-::~,; ,,'-:::lonAllchorn.

". ,~~::= stood outside the JCR and

co",:: =~;sly at the slow-moving queues

_::=",~ore Avenue; they had been through

." '-~ ~~=ore and could sympathise with the;,"c~--=c~:: Freshers of 1981 who were now

;c:-,,-c=~~:: in the web of chaos and confusion

" __ c~ur first day at College.

A day of rest to recover ano take stock of

all that ~as happened tc you thus far. Isit really only five days since you joined

the ranks of the s~udent class? Plenty oft_illle,to che-ck o.nt~th~ infornlation in the

Handbook relating to pubs, wine bars, etc.More coffee and for the lucky few, meetings

with tutors and lecturers over sherry and

wine. Everyone is walking on one leg in

anticipation of the following d.1Y'shighlight; the. Hop:

The word IISquash" took on a whole bunch

of a new meaning tonight as the xefectorywas "full of tables" as the clubs and

societies touted their wares. 'Time Out'

was there,as was the All England Travel

Club, and the world famous Tim Scurley of

Griffin-land (think about that one all youMidland Bankers) .

--{>

--

That was f 'IQ WQl~k ••..hcn yoli learnt moreabout yourself than dny Census form could

tell YOlliWhC'll ;lJl your former inhibitionsdisl1})pl~C1r('d in an alchoholic hc1ZC and Ill'''''

friendsilips wcrC' forged over coffee dnd ,1gdlllC' of h~nnis. You will llCVl'r QXl)(?riencl~allyt-hillq like' Fr(~shc-r's WC?ckogain unlessyou tldSS your exalllS next SUlllIllC'rZllld comeback lo College c,lrly as all Icxpcricl1ccd'Fresher I s Guide, ( but who llL'C ~ ~ ...• _ ~ ~.,)

Here i t_ is ~ Yes it is! The climax of a wholesummer's "·.'or:';'for Danny and his merry men --'and who said he was a quick worker? Anundoubted financial success for W.e.D.S.,andthe cro •.".'ds \\'110 flocked into the Refectoryseemed to 2.i'"1jOY themselves, ( in spite of a

tr" ~ nasty bottle-throwing incident) as 'TheSensible Jerseys' played their farewell gig

~ in an atmosphere chargpd, \'1itll nostalgia andgrievous bodily harm, ably supported by the

'l'-1odettcs I and I We Expand Sideways I. (Nooffence, Tim~ ).

More introductions, more coffee and theemergence on campus of bog-eyed History

students in a state of post-exam euphoria ..

Yes, the academic year has begun at last·and grant cheques are conspicuous in theirnon-arrival. In the evening everyone donnedtheir checked shirts and cowboy boots and

bounced around to the country sounds of

'Nel~ie the Elephant' at the Barn Dance.

I shall now be re-casting all the parts in liThe

Women of Troy." We will probably be performing the

play in February in a Fringe Theatre near College,

but as yet things are still very vague. Anyone is

welcome to audition including existing cast members.

There will be notices up about it in the near

future. The production will be entered for theNational Stud~t Drama Festival.

Dawn Austwick.

There was far too much to see and do,with well over 700 shows on in the

three weeks of the Fring~ Festival

representing over 400 companies.

Westfield's two productions were!

"therefore, in hot competition with

everything else. Despite, or perhaps

because of, the biggest Fringe everr

the audiences were down! with some

shows playing to an audience of nil.

Neither of our plays ever had to suffer

quite such a bad house, though r'KillingThe Punchline" came close on the second

night, playing to the playwright's

brother, an unknown paying punter and

the critic from liThe Scotsman", the

latter of whom, thank God, liked it ­

as you Can see from the reviews which

our Editors assure me are going to be

printed alongside this merryreminiscence.

Speaking of which! (reviews that is)

picture the scene if you will and ifyou can: 1 am in a rruiet -back street in

Edinburgh, the Punchliners are on their

way to the Fringe Club for much needed

alcohol and cough drops, only to be

Such were the sacrifices of personal

comfort (six to a bedroom~) made by the

intrepid company of Trojan Women and

Punchliners who hit the Edinburgh Fringe

with such force and vitality back in

August. If you detect a trace of

sarcasm in the latter comment give

yourself A- for observation. It was

FUN. The privations and petty

inconveniences inherent in twenty people

sharing a three-bedroomed flat paled

into insignificance next to the sense

of group achievement when the reviews

came out. Edinburgh was expensive!

excessive and exciting. We lived a

ridiculous life - rehearsing or watching

plays, films, street shows almost every

~inute. Any spare seconds were! of

Having gone to bed at 4am being woken at8 to the musical delights of Marcus

Whitfield singing !IIn The Midnight Hourll

and the dawn chorus of IlCome along!

Troj an Women ~'Iloses its charm after awhile. To tell the truth, such a

cacaphonous welcome to the day was never

exactly charming. Such was a typical

Edinburgh day begun. Lack of sleep

figured largely in our existence, as did

lack of space. The flat in which we

were staying became horribly full when

all twenty of us were crammed into every

available corner. The problem was

exacerbated by the inevitable and

inescapable queue for the one bathroom.

REVIEW FROM "THE SCOTSMAN"

~~e actors are in modern dress, but this

really makes no difference, since the playitself makes clear its eternal relevance.

~he chorus is cleverly given dancing and

=ime to perform, which match its references

jack to the history of Troy, and these

sections, while providing relief fron the

ever-darkening tragedy, have the eventual

effect of makin~ it seem worse by~omparison. Throughout, the disposition of

the actors about the stage is highly

effective. The best performance is that

of Katherine Thomas as Hecuba; she gives

the impression of a woman so sunk in

sorrow as to be beyond tears. The other

~ctors are also impressive, and Marcus

Nhitfield and Virginia Radcliffe carry off

well the conversation between the gods in

the prologue; oddly, a modern suit and

dress seem the most convincing attire for

them. This version of the play succeeds

in calling forth our pity.Coli

;"estfield College Dramatic Society are

;~esenting Euripides' tragedy in a new

"l::anslation by Stephen Halliwell, which

~ses simple, clear, yet forceful l~nguage/

~i=irably suited to this story of the

~itiable aspect of war. The production

=atches the words, and from the startling

je;inning it emphasizes the brutality of

~~e situation, both in the actions of the

~~nquerors towards the women and i.n the

j~eak but noisy oil drums that provide the

setting. The use of lighting is also good.

_.. Society took two plays to the

~~::.='~;~?estival Fringe this year.

-~."c',.,."::,,a translation of Euripedes'

.::~." ;';~=2-"l of Troy" by Stephen Halliwell,~ =~~ssi~s lecturer at Westfield, and

~ ~~~" jy our very own playwright Anne== ....:.=-=:..e~d.,called "Killing the Punchline".?s',-:,s',·;s of the two plays appear below,

~~~~=~sr.ied by assorted photographs and

~ ~~~s£ reminiscence of two weeks spent=-~~~~rue Thespians.

THE WOMEN OF TROY

confronted by a couple of Trojan Women

hooting smugly "Have you seen the

reviews?lI, knoHing full well that we

neither had, nor could have. This

omission was soon'remedied by spreadingtIThe Scotsmanll over the tarmac and

crowing with delight to the complete

indifference of a passing panda car.

Much self-congratulation followed and

our return to our stylish, if cramped,

apartment in Dundas Street clutching

myriad copies of the aforementioned rag

was noisy and exultant in the extreme.

The only drawback to all this was that

the reviews came out in Friday's paper

and the plays finished their run on

Saturday. However, such minor irritants

could not cloud the sunny memories one

has when looking back from the grim

reality at wet Westfield to a blissful

fortnight of drugs*, drink and dramain the Athens of the north.

George Morley

*Cough sweets, what else?

Anne Caulfield

REVIEW FROM "THE SCOTSMAN"

KILLING THE PUNCHLINE

This is an excellent piece of theatrewhich achieves dramatic resonance with an

admirable economy of means. Julian Hussey

gives a convincing performance as Mike

Joyce who, living in a world of his own

make~gelieve, is eventually forced to face

the false layers of his own self. Gradual

admission of falsehood is both psycho­

logically convincing and dramaticallyaccurate; and, that it is achieved

theatrically over' a relatively short period

of time is a 'compliment both to the writer,

Anne Caulfield, and to the director,

Ge0rgina Morley. The play is thoughtful

and thought~provoking, the writer avoids'self-indulgence, the lighting and props

are kept to a necessary minimum, and ~hesupporting actresses, Alison Main and

Jessica Martin, play with an assurance and

conviction that draws out the complexities

and power of the central character. This

three-hander by Westfield College (London

University) is a rewarding experience.

Raymond J. Ross.

reviews/whats onKING LEAR-Young Vic.

A generation has been weaned on

James Bolam,comic actor-Bolam asthe rather unsuccessful half of

that duo in'The Likely Lads' ,and

more rBeently,as the philosoph­

ising Figgis in 'Only When I Laugh'

Being of that generation,it seemed

the height of incongruity to find

that Mr.Bolam had ventured away

from such typecasting into

Shakespeare I s I King Lear'. (Young

Vic). I approached the whole even­

ing with trepidation-I came away

inspired! Bolam as Lear gave a

totally convincing performance,

grasping with ease the complexity

of the character with his myriad

emctions. He was ably assisted in

his task by good performances 1rom

Judy Wilson Joanna Dunham(Goneril

aICe Regan respectively), as the

spiteful,money-grabbing,power­

seeking daughters of Lear,who ~p­held the sense of evil which I

found sadly lacking in Edmund(the

bastard son of Gloucester) ,who is'

the instigator of much of the

wrong doing in the play. In this

role Greg Martyn gave a competant

performance,but I would query the

judgement of director,Frank Dunlop,

in the interpretation of this cha~

racter as an ego-tripping fop.

Bathos in the tragedy is an essen­

tial element, serving to r~lievethe harrowed minds of the audience

and simultaneously increase ~hetension-in 'Lear' this element'is

fulfilled by the fool,and to a

certain degree by Lear himself.

Edmund ~s a major source of evil

in the play,he has to be present­

edas such to give substance to the

tragic element. In this production

his popinjay antics very nearlv

turned tragedy to farce. - -,

SHA.'<ESPEARE'S ROME- THE MERMAID.

Berc,are 1111es (director) in the programme

~or 'S~akespearels Rome' - an abridgedversio~ of 'Julius Caesar' and 'Anthony

and Cleopatra' - argues that the idea

behine this production was to introduce

speee and energy into the plays. Fair

~~ough; but when i} is at the expense ofcoher.3"1.cyand realism. I begin to have my

doubts. For anYGne who does not know the

plays ';'1el1 the evening can only prove

harrowing, as one tries to follow the

play's events, whilst to someone, like

myself, who knows the plays well, the8onda~sation seemed a gross injustice~

Could it be though 'that like a child who

rej eets a new tqy ,.£~ran old one, becausethe latter is more familiar and offers

security, so this production impinges on

our conventional views of how Shakespeare

ought to be presented. I leave that forthe individual to decide for himself.

The only performances of note in 'JuliHs'Caesar' were Colin Bennett's lCassius' and

Gilbert Wynne1s Brutus', notable for their

energy and enthusiasm, which was all that

was left 'for the actors after the 'i-mmens­

ly damaging cuts~

Carrr~enDu. S'autoy.s IICleopatra" was.l.tiqg:c-as~~­ive and passionate, but she- was unable to

grasp convincingly the fluctuations of

mOO:: Hhich besiege this tempuous queen.

the major fault with 'Antony and Cleopatra'

(aside from the savagery of adaptation

which reduced a truly magnificent play

to the depths of mediocrity) lay in

Antony's partiality to his dressing gown,- -

which he wore even when he journeyed toRome to meet Caesar!I think this is stretch

ing1poetic licenses' a bit far, as I wond­

ered at tim~s whether L was looking at Ant­

ony 'the uriple pillar of the world' or

Joseph in his technicoloured dreamcoat!

This production's saving graces were mimedbattle scenes which illwninated that inter-

'minable clash of steel, and a superb set,'which was useG to the best effect.

).il"lell. Marsh.'

Rock Soc

Claudia would prefer you to wear your

pyjamas for a change on Saturday, 24th

October at the Rock Soc Disco.If you

go in your bedtime attire you'll get in

free but you might not get out again.

Otherwise it'll cost 25p for members

and SOp for non-members.

WCUS Ents Present:

The Chefs and the Mood Elevators in the

Main Refec on Friday 30th October at

S.30pm. Tickets £l.7~ in advance, £2

on the door,and there isn't going to ~ea late bar so come early if you want to

get pissed:

History Society

Tuesday 27th October

Find out about your adopted surroundings

by coming to hear Professor Thompson ofthe Institute of Historical Research

deliver a lecture entitled "Respectable

Hampstead, Happy Hampstead." This takesplace at Spm in the Audio Visual Room

in the library, although I would strongly

advise those of you with SOp to spare

to go to the buffet supper in the HistoryCommon Room at 7.30pm instead.

Tuesday 14th NovemberWestfield College History Society offer

you the chance to see "On the Razzle"

by Tom Stoppard at the National Theatre

for only £4.50 including travel there

and back. (Normally £7 a ticket)

ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK

Great start, reasonable middle, predictable

ending, lots of fun if you don" t question

the credibility of the dia10gtie'.'A must

for model freaks - the New York long shots

are superb: Suspend your disbelief and

have an exciting couple of hours'.

THE FINAL CONFLICT,e-: ,

The final part of the Omen Trilogy, you'll

be relieved to hear, avoids the tackiness

of II and achieves a return to the more

haunting atmosphere of the first film.

Worth seeing if you like your Bible with

lots of blood and guts, but don't expect

accuracy in this Hollywood extravaganz~

based around a pretty unlikely

i~terpretatio~ of Revelations.

COMMENT

___ 3'~~=--.' s Education page this wee:<

~:~ _~=~ ~ ::::~s of interest with a

_~:co~~ ::~:= -=:-_eparents of a first-ye~:c

-=-::::....::~o:.,"': =."': ~.ssex University under the

~~~~=~ := '~~=e for a poor little ri~~

~~~~~",:1, ~~~s parent is of the opiLi~~

-=-:.~:::cc::~.:slive in a "totally falss

.:::_~' :~:~=se they have their meals

:~,-_===. :.'".sirlaundry laundered ac_::

:..,:'~= =-=,=~ =':'.Ldcommunal ~reas reg'.l::"3.::::-::"~·:_=.=.=c,='::~ ::= ::J.aintainsthat liThe Un:"7-=::::-s:,-=,-,­

~;~e:==l::' ::sels that its first dut::-__~ :s~ == =:'::jentshow to treat the

= :__ ~= :l~sse5. No student is goi::

_s~~ ~=ssx .ithout knowing how tc s;e~~:.: -::...:'= ':':-:'::"2:r and the maii1,s." His =- -=.-:.:. ",:,..:.:.-=.

_= :~ ~==-=-=coloured by his own CCC.-=:c~=::=c_=­

='c::s:=~.:e :O' student life- he ae.::~.=s•-c:~ ,'sc.-=-=~ American Universitiss =c.

___ ~=---=-::..:-::"3601s where you '1'paid ~':''':~ _:::~ ,:~ own washing and clea:-.~:;

_" __ = ~~='':·•.•'ere lucky there was :::-_::..=.:-

__ _ :-::.c_e:s::udent sharing your :c:.:=.:::'_=s

..-~= _= ::~_s:cichest country in t:-.S-_-:=l~.

:-:'I~-:-:'::"::"::' =:2: counter-productive "'.:= =-=:.-:.:.=:.s-=.~_S ==~-=s=ent in the cliched ::~s~=:~

=-=l:-e::=::- =any students: ie t~_~-=co:_s

:_~s= ;=s:cation is always telli:; ~s

:e:.".: -••.·s -;s :'leverhad it so goe::. O'::-,=--s:c

__ =-=.-==:-= should be put strai:;:_':_-::..=-=.­

~~= ":.~,~=-~=e-style of Joe Stude~-=.. :~

-:..:~::-:.:-s"':place, life in halls ::: =-=-s:.=-­

e::s == ~== on a par with life ~-= =c_s

7CC:e: ~:: -=~e student-cleaner rsl~-==:~=~=;

_= -:-:. ::-_ ~n Upstairs- Downsta.~::"3=--=.-.,--=-::"

, , =-= is normally the case -=~e-=

-.-5.::":"e~y.

widespread economies would not be made

by converting halls into self-cater~ng

flats or by dispensing with them

altogether: in the first place people

like NUPE would jump to the rescue of

their member's jobs and in the second

a conversion plan would be. very expensive

and not likely to prove cost effective

in either the short or the long term.

This parent seems worried about the

effects which luxurious living in halls

will have on his daughter; but is he also

going to moan about the scruffiness of

the"Student tribe", their lack of moral

integrity and their p~nchant for

scrounging from the State for money

for more records and clothes? Being a

student certainly does not teach you

how to treat your IIservants", as this

parent suggests it does; if anything,

it will teach you how to arrange yet

another overdraft to help you pay your

rent during the dark, cold and extr •.··,ely

hunqry months of winter .

•

Many of you will be wondering why

here is no mention, other than a few

rief references by messrs. O'Hara and

hepherd, of the situation in which

estfield College now finds itself.

I am of course refering to the rumours,

roposals or however you consider them,

bout the merger between Bedford and

ings Colleges and the suggestion to'

integrate certain faculties (namely

rts and $ciences) of Westfield, Chelsea,

,ueen Mary and Royal Holloway Collegesn a site at Royal Holloway in Egham,

Surrey. .

brief outline of these proposals

ppeared in "Tl1e Times" last Thur~day,

and a meetinq was held on Friday to

hscuss ways of.imvlementinq the proposals

oncerning B~dford and Kings. whe:1sked by the President to make a state~

ent about the proposals, the Principal

s.tated that he felt Bedford College had

"behaved abismallyll towards us, but

lateL sent me a message through his

ecretary to say he felt it .1 too 'earlyllo make a statement at the moment.

s a result of this, no official line has

et been taken. Hopefully, by the time

he next issue of !lW.C." appears we willave something more official than the

IS assurances that Westfield is not in

ny danger of'losing its automomy or evenf closure.

-

Students will welcome these cuts as an

:opportunity to make fuller use of what

~ondon has to offer on their limited budqet.~~e increase in rates which has been caused

are a necessary penalty to be paid in the

struqgle to create a more equal society in

-.:hichto live. It cannot be wrong for

those who have more than enough to meettheir own needs to subsidise those who

~8 not in ~rder to improve the general

~uality of life. All in all, these are fair

~ares, and an important step towaras

~uilding the kind of 'socialist' societyin which one would wish to live.

~=."'::.:-alPress has bee- -

- :: ....:....--=--~-==-=- he mjght chaosI';; "'::

~~-= increase in rates ~~~-=~ __ ____ =~-==-~ed as aMmlJnitio~ ~~ -~=_::- -~--_

__ ~;~~~st Xen Tjivinqstr-~~ _-__- -=

=~ -~~:~~ of the G.L.C. Tt~~~ :~~=~~:':'l won't benefit 2:-.-.--=-~ __ ._

,,-=:. -:=~:S.Ken1 is giving .",,:'-::_:--:,_-_::~.:.

- _ _ "-".:·:i:1gaway with the "-::~_7c

-:,~~~~ :::-2 many examples \.,-- -- - ---_-:.,:'"__:::=-3 :-;ot so: one man \'''-::-:'::'-_

~'c::~o:c.sO:that altr.ough r.~s :'C _

;: -= .~; by £1.50 per wee~ ~~ ".-__~~ ::..::~ the cost of trav2~::"

=..-:-:.:' -"":'''-::~::' rpake further/;'sa--:.:-_--=

:...::-:--~~~~sport was'quicK t~ ~~---- ~­_-::~~~~ ~= passenqers during

:_: :- -:~e first weekday o~

_~=: efT2ct, but some 0=

~---~~-:.-== ~~at the money spe~: :- --~-- :-'":: ~~.~.--::been more effecti-.~~::"·- --_:::-,':;:::::-:..-~ ~:_e :_,unctuality of se.:c··:,:-=-~,=:·.",-e:--=:,ismerely highlic~.== :-.~: _=:-.~:­.:~-s =~e S.L.C. should be ::,,~:--::~,=~=

":=..,-:-,::- -- ::::-:"vatetransport c~:-,;-=--=:..::. __

:~::-:::::-~::..:"'8~don,in order bc~~ -: .:;:=::-=-::

:'':; =---:':-:::1ment from pollut:..:::-_:::-.::_-_=

- - :ornbustion engine a~= ~: ::-~~:.~

~==-= =~ the public tra~-=;=::-:: _

::.--= -::::,:::-:: =:: you are proba.bly a:,··-:;:=-,=::...:--:::-~:'-.'=.=:=-==ut all their fan's, =:=~ ~ __

"" ~_,,:Cf,on October 4th. :=:--=".cc_~:-

~ :':-"'~::.:'-=::-_-=' for students comi~; ~ _E-==~~:=-=

-:..:::':: E::='=-: ::r term, but LondcE -:=-=..::-_-=;:.:--=

-."-" s:=.i::eted that about 8 ~.=l~c:- ::,s:=_":::: ::==~ters and those li~:"~~ ~~ :...:-::~

-,~::-_-=":::"t in all.

Dear Editors,

OUR "CHR 1ST/AN"WESTF/ELD

Though still a little bewildered I have

decided to answer your plea for letters

for W.C. by presenting a colle~tion of

IT':' thoughts and experiences during my

first week at College.

I was one of many to arrive at 2:00pm

on the Sunday, and queued for what

seemed an age. Finally I was shown to

my room by a very sweet girl, who bade

me go to the first C.D. meeting of term.

My room was cozy and comfortable,

(though I can hear people at night throughmy wall. I cannot catch their conversa­

tion) .

On Monday more fellows arrived, and I

busied myself making my room into my

home for a year. That afternoon I made

myself familiar with my neighbours over

tea, and walked around the College gardens

- delightful. However, that evening, what

would have been a perfect introductional

day at Westfield was ruined when I went

to the bar for a lemonade. A disgusting

display of vulgarity at itls most blatant

- there is no need for this sort of thing.

When the fat boy made to show all his

bottom, I left hastily. As I got to the

door I heard a strange cry - the meaning

of which someone could perhaps tell me :­

"Turkeys out".

On Tuesday I went to two tea parties, and

a very lovely meeting in Maynard, of the

Christian Union. Afterwards, come eventidej

I again went to refresh myself at the bar,

where I bought a lemonade. I had hardly

taken a sip before someone yelled from the

corner of the room 1IGo for it'!, and "Dog

'em in." Such expressions are not in my

vocabulary, so I can only hope they are

not ungodly. I like to think that I ambro~-minded, but I aqain was aaain forced

leave the bar hurridly when a young man

tipped my drink into the ash-tray and

uttered some very disgusting words. Has

anyone suggested the banning of alcohol at

the College, it is, after all, only a

minority who drink intoxicating beverages.

~ Wednesday, full of trepidation, I attendee

my first lectures. They were marvellous,

and I met some jolly people, they are good

eggs. We had tea together, and resolved to

make this College proud of itls Christian

heritage. I dClred not venture out of my

room .3.fterdark, save to bid my neighbour

Cl. croodniqht. I injured my le9 very badly

while pr,'l.yinqthat night, RS I knelt on adrawinG pin.

Thu"!lsday pClssed quietly. I went to the

shops, and bought Cl. Bible and a specialCUSllioll to kneel 011.

Fridcry was jolly, I had tea with my good

friends and went early to bed. I woke up

at ::::.10 am to hear Z1rhyt.hmic creaking and

qroanincr from l1t."xtdoor. The poor qirl

lllustIVl.vebeen IL'lvinqnightmares. I

knocked on her door to check her heal t.h, but

c'lfterhe~lrinq an ol1th in her sleep I took

friqllt, lest she was in some way possessed.

On S'-1tllrdc1Ymy friends ,l.ndI went into

London cC'ntre. What.:'l.jolly place it is,

thouqh w(~ we're wl,rriC'd (to say the least)

when wC' could not find ,l.sinqle church in

Oxford RO.l.L1.That pvC'ninq wC' hc'lLla

sinq-sonq with our Christian Union friends,

,lnd.pLlnnC'd .l.tC':J.party which promises to

be ,1 bclnquet. I dm so very harpy I chose

to COIllf' to \vestfield, .l.Sit is a pleasant,

h.-'lp'PY,C',l.rL'frl"l'P 1.1.Cl;:"' , but I have learnt

SOllll'v;'llu'lblelessons already. If our

,ll',lquc'l,f frir-nds has it I sway, however,

110 otller first-year will find herself in

slll~hpositions <l.SOCCl.Jrin the bar at

present. I promise' you, wc will stamp

l)Ut VlllqClYity .l.tthis C'olloCle, so help US~ ~

Morris.P.R.

!HATS OFFI

Dear Neil r-

jTRY/NG AGAIN 'I

I am disgusted. Last year I submitted

an article to W.C. magazine, and it was

not printed. Now, with a new editorial

team, I will try once more.

Dear w.e. Editors,

"Hats off" I say t.o all those fun 2nd and

3rd ~,7earsh'ho have made my first week at

West field lust one hell of a laugh. I

ioined the Darts Club, the England Travel

Club and best of all the Christian Union,

I'm told that these Clubs are the best for

jolly good times.

P.S. Who is Bon -,and why is he lthebestest1j

vincent Jones

(1st yr GermanlHebre\v)

1 TOO LATE?/

I like the bar. I think it is nice.

like Steve Webb ICRuse he chose the colou~s.

I like Stiq and Dave and Kev: they're fun

people. I like that young man who keeps

taking photos of people (he dresses welltoo), in fact I like Westfield.

I hope this letter gets published, and is

not censored by some pet~-minded editoras was the case last year.

I fecI I 11~ve st~rtcll life ~t West field

()t d dis,ll1V,lllt'lljl'.I 'veqot~ ,1 brother '('re

who's just the lit.tli..'st('VL'r. Ldst yc,1r

'('WC~llti1way to Fr,tI1Cl'dIlllupset i..'vcryone

tlle'ye',1(' S,'tysthl' WOI1li..'IlWere the horriblC'st

but 'e IWl'llt for itl ,1nyw,lY, ,HId 11l)Wle'sbaCK orqc1l1isin(1 ('vnryt"hinllfrom l1drts (''It.

which '(~IS the worsti_:c:t)to sc11,-,('11trips toWd t ford. It 8l'('1118 I c I S I qoinq for it'dq,lin, cclusinq 'n ,111101111t of trouble ,llld 1con!~css I doni t" lib' it.

DC'dr Editors,

Remember - when God made woman, he

hadn1t tasted spare-ribs Chinese-style.

YlHlrsC'udth' fC'1rd Minor.

Noah Shepherd.

• r"'~-, :l

~- -EMERGENCY!

DIAL 333

The recent article in the Times concerning

the merger of Bedford College and King's

College came as a complete surprise to me.

Dear Editors,

It has been said, by one of our number,

that a woman1s place is on her back.

Whilst whole-heartedly agreeing withthis statement I must stress that the

"Campaign for No Rights for Women" (CNRW),

has very serious aims - to reduce the

woman's role in todayls society to one of

a subserviant performer of menial tasks,

such as their mentality dictates. I

sincerely hope that this letter will not

I was not surprised to find that most be treated as a comical item, as CNRW

academics and staff of the two Colleges knew is quite determined to fulfil it'snothing of the proposals either. It now ambitions as best it can. We are a

seems that the proposals regarding the West- small group of people, though our member­

field/Bedford merger no longer apply and so ship is growing in number and resolution.

Westfield is out on a limb. We are based in North LondoD, and have

a number of students in our ranks. If

you are interested please leave me a note

in my pigeon-hole, and I will contact

you. Membership is free but you are

expected to partake in some levents'.

The Government can close this College of

ours, and will do so unless we act very

quickly. The time has come to stop making

claims such as lIthey'll never close us down,

we1ve got a Royal Charter,ll and to get on

with the job of making serious economies.

For those of you not in the know, Bpdford

and Wcstfielc1 h~ve be0n t~lkinq ilbollt

closer colli:lbori1tion for yanks i'lndeveryoIle'

t_houqht thRt onc.' nay they would Illcrqe.All small co1lp(1C's {'Irostruqqlinq to st.~y

C'conomicd.lly vidblc' SC) forqinq I_inks between

the slTlid1 1cdque collC'q~~s m,''IkC'sqoad sense.

I ATTENTION IWho saw the Times on Wed 14th, theGranniad on Thurs 15th and the Abu Dhabi

Gazette on Fri 16th? All c~rri0d pieces

about Cl. merger betwE:~pn Red foro ColleqC'

and Kings.

Tlli..' people drcfl't- It,,ppy ,1I1d my Mum'swor, i.('d 1-00.

IJowever HC'dford ddmin bCCillHC'fecl up with

our bclovC'c1 Gyy'ln. BrYlIn is intent. on

hCfcominq somc'tllinq biq in the Universityi1nc1 so i f ,1ny tnC'rqc'y took p 1(lee, he' walll clhave to hC';Hlit dnd t ,1KC'illl t-It(~cyed it.Bedford wouldn't h(~lp our qlcyry boy so

Bryan lost intc'rC'stdud cOllscqlH'nt1yW('st-fic'ld lost out. Kinqs ,llld B('dford look.

like-' nmninq but WC'stfii..'ld wi 11 lldV(, tostruqq 1 i..'.

It is foolish to talk of cuts such as two

weeks unpaid leave for all staff, or the

ridiculous idea of selling off plants from

the greenhouses to College members to make

a bob or two for the College. We can shoutand scream all we like about "Britain needs

Universities" - of course it does, but

Thatcher and her insane Government remain

convinced that the Universities have had it

too good for too long. Unless we do some­

thing drastic now, be it an instant merger

or the closing of departments, we can

expect that in two or three years that allthe staff at Westifield will be out of a

job. The problem will never get any better,decisions need to be taken at once without

being thrown from committee to committee

which will mean months of delay.

IN MY LIVERPOOL HOME THANKSThe words of thee song just about say it all:

Liverpool is a warm and friendly city

which you can justifiably call your "home".

However, it would appear from his talk t?

Freshers that the Principal of this College

does not hold the northern provinces in

high regard. Rather, he is of the opinion,

it would seem, that Liverpool is nobbut

a slag-heap and its University naturally

high on the list for the proverbial chop.

I would therefore like to put the record

straight for the intelligent readers of

this magazine.

Firstly, Liverpool University is a slag­

heap neither in physical appearance nor

in academic standing. The buildings in

Mount Pleasant are attractively modern

and include the University bookshop, Parry's,which is second to none. Some faculties

are housed just up the road from the Roman

Catholic Cathedral and the Everyman which

are the products of an earlier generation

and look smart and permanent - no danger of

them disappearing in the near future. Thehalls of residence are located in the

posher suburbs, for example Crosby, and

students can look out over the playing

fields of Merchant Taylor's School, one

of the City's public Schools.

Academically, Liverpool is one of the

handful of places in the UCCA scheme to

offer a COurse in Vetinary Science, andis much acclaimed for its facilities at

Leahurst near Chester. The other

departments are also of the expected high

standard, and it is interesting to note

that Dr Thwaites and Co. thought highly

enough of someone there to offer him the

QU EST IONNA IRE

Chair in History at Westfield. And on the

sporting front, Westfield has recently

produced one footballer who is currently

on Brighton's books; Liverpool's more

recent graduates include Steve Heighway

(formerly of Liverpool and Eire) and Steve

Coppell (Manchester Utd and England) .

Liverpool as a city also compares wellwith London in terms of all-round acheiv­

ments - and I'm not just talking aboutdock strikes. There are two road tunnels

under the Mersy now, whereas London has

a few bridges (even though they scld oneof them~): there are two twentieth centuryCathedrals, the most recently completed on

being the biggest in the country. Thereare two football teams who have done a'

much, if not---more than, all the tin-potLondon teams put together, and their

fans do not fight with each other on 'Derby

days.

Liverpool is renowned for its sense of

humour and for its music, and such is

the friendliness of the place that oneeminent Scotsman (and remember that Scots

are normally loyal to their clans and their

homeland) ad9pted the city as his home:

"I thank God for the wonderful people

of Mersyside. The attitude of the people

of Liverpool towards me and my family

is stronger now than it ever was. I

never cheated them and they've never letme down."

I bet Dr Thwaites couldn't say that with

any degree of conviction about London. Now

there is a slag-heap of a city:

Chris Austin

As ever, the final editorial word must

be one of thanks to all those worthies

who fought to keep their eyes open all

night whilst preparing this issue.

The early birds

Sal,

Sarah,

Vicky,

Simon (for looking);

To those who nearly stood the pace but

left before the dawn hysteria set in,

namely

Simons

(Allchorn and Williams) ;

And to those who lasted until 7.30am

for plastic pints of Cor~flakes and

saw IW.C. I to its completion

Jacqueline Woolf (MSc),

Carol Broadey (Rag and Charities Somethin,

Andy Ravenscroft (Miscellaneous Fresher)

and

Chris Austin (Valiant Loser)

.with whom we look forward to sharing

many more breakfasts~

Kate and Neil

a) Poetryh) Short Stories

c) Other witty banalities--

11) Would you like a more comprehensive

what's-on guide for:a) Westfield

b) ULUc) London

d) Hampstead

e) Swiss Cottage

f) Golder s tereen

g) West Hampstead

(Do bear in mind that the magazine

only appears monthly.)

12) Do you have any suggestions for

changing/improving WC?

13) What is your general impression of WC?

201612

What would you consider writing?

Would you prefer a 12, 16 or 20 page

WC? (Remember that this depends a lot

on you as we need more contributions

to fill a greater number of pages.)

5)

8)

6)

7) Would you like WC to contain more:

a) Cartoons

b) Illustrations

c) ~!lotograp!ls

Would you like more:

a) Student related newsb) Other news

cl Topical featuresd) Interviews

e) Reviews

i) Westfield

Productions

ii) Other

Productions

9) Do you like WC to contain:l.l Have you contributed to WC before?

Yes No

2 ) If so, was your contribution printed?

Enough of this blather. Please be so kind

as to fill in this little questionnaire

and make any other suggestions about

how 'WC!" could be improved, remaining

within the 3/3/2 issues per term structure,and return it to the 'WC1 editor's

pigeon-hole outside the Union Offices.

'We would be very interested to hear

from you what you think about 'WC'. Our

aim is to give you what you want from

your magazine ... so what do you want?

There are certain limitations, though

the funds for 'WC' that pay for its

printing and its production - letraset,

cow-gum, pencils etc come from College

and are limited, so we can't realistically

consider increasing the number of issues

unless you'd like to pay for the pleasure

of reading it and force us into an endless

round of touting for advertisers. And

whilst carrying on full~time degree

courses we couldn't work into the large

hours of the morning at the cost of our

Monday tutorials too often, could we?

3) If your contribution was not printed,

did this deter you from writing again?

Yes No

4) Would you like to have something in

print?

Yes Nod) -Serious Articles

10) Would you like more reports from:

a) Westfield's Sport's Teams

b) Clubs and Societies

Yes No