washington barbie

Washington BarbieWashington Barbie

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Greater Washington/ Barbie Dolls for the Greater Washington/

Maryland/Virginia market. Maryland/Virginia market. Here they are… Here they are…


““Potomac Barbie" Potomac Barbie" This model only sold at Neimans in White Flint. This model only sold at Neimans in White Flint. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, Versace dresses, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, Versace dresses, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired Afghan dog named Honey, and a replica 80,000 sq. ft. crib. Afghan dog named Honey, and a replica 80,000 sq. ft. crib. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Botox sold separately.Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Botox sold separately.Workaholic, stressed-out, corporate lawyer Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.Workaholic, stressed-out, corporate lawyer Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.Tea set from Strathmore House not included.Tea set from Strathmore House not included.Sold as "Trophy Wife Barbie" in Los Angles market.Sold as "Trophy Wife Barbie" in Los Angles market.


““Fairfax Barbie”Fairfax Barbie”This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with ugly Ford minivan and matching gym This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with ugly Ford minivan and matching gym outfit from Tysons II. Comes with Starbucks and Borders membership card. outfit from Tysons II. Comes with Starbucks and Borders membership card. She gets lost easily except when headed to a mall or scrap-booking session. Has no full time She gets lost easily except when headed to a mall or scrap-booking session. Has no full time occupation or secondary education unless you count the pottery class at Northern VA occupation or secondary education unless you count the pottery class at Northern VA Community College.Community College.Traffic-jamming “Blue Tooth” included.Traffic-jamming “Blue Tooth” included.


““Waldorf Barbie”Waldorf Barbie”This recently paroled former “Amateur Porn Actress" comes with a Glock, switch blade, red This recently paroled former “Amateur Porn Actress" comes with a Glock, switch blade, red Chevy pickup truck and a portable methlab. Only available after dark and must be paid for with Chevy pickup truck and a portable methlab. Only available after dark and must be paid for with cash or Sudafed. Don’t leave money or valuables around this model.cash or Sudafed. Don’t leave money or valuables around this model.Can usually be found at the Route 301 Motel 6 cookin Can usually be found at the Route 301 Motel 6 cookin “The Crystal.”“The Crystal.”Warning: Lab will explode if chemicals are mixed incorrectly.Warning: Lab will explode if chemicals are mixed incorrectly.


““Bethesda Barbie”Bethesda Barbie”

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of Audi convertible or Hummer H2. IncludesThis yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of Audi convertible or Hummer H2. Includes

her own Starbucks cup, 15 credit cards, and a country club membership. Also comes with an her own Starbucks cup, 15 credit cards, and a country club membership. Also comes with an assortment of matchbooks from all the trendy restaurants on Wisconsin Ave. assortment of matchbooks from all the trendy restaurants on Wisconsin Ave.

Warning: Turns green with envy when placed beside Potomac Barbie. Do not store in same Warning: Turns green with envy when placed beside Potomac Barbie. Do not store in same area.area.

Also available with this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. Both come with Also available with this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. Both come with Georgetown Prep Crew sweaters.Georgetown Prep Crew sweaters.


““Calvert County Barbie" Calvert County Barbie" This extremely pale model comes dressed in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR This extremely pale model comes dressed in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR T shirt, and a “Thelma and Louise" tattoo above her butt. She also comes with a six pack of T shirt, and a “Thelma and Louise" tattoo above her butt. She also comes with a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a Travis Tritt CD set. Also included is a frequent shopper’s card from Pabst Blue Ribbon and a Travis Tritt CD set. Also included is a frequent shopper’s card from Wal-Mart. She can spit snuff over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when drunk. Wal-Mart. She can spit snuff over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when drunk. Platinum bleach blonde Francie comes with an authentic Jeff Gordon jersey. Platinum bleach blonde Francie comes with an authentic Jeff Gordon jersey. Get her 82 Silverado pick-up from Ourisman Chevrolet (sold separately).Get her 82 Silverado pick-up from Ourisman Chevrolet (sold separately).* ACT NOW AND GET THE CONFEDERATE FLAG BUMPER STICKER * ACT NOW AND GET THE CONFEDERATE FLAG BUMPER STICKER ABSOLUTELY FREE.ABSOLUTELY FREE.


““Hybla Valley Barbie”Hybla Valley Barbie”This Barbie comes with a stroller and lots of babies. Optional accessories include a GED, food This Barbie comes with a stroller and lots of babies. Optional accessories include a GED, food stamps, a carton of Newport menthols, and requisite cell phone. Baby Daddy and Big Baller stamps, a carton of Newport menthols, and requisite cell phone. Baby Daddy and Big Baller Kenvonte and his Navigator are hard to find. They’ve appeared on Jerry Springer with his ex-Kenvonte and his Navigator are hard to find. They’ve appeared on Jerry Springer with his ex-hoe Shquidonnaisha. Other Ken “babydaddies” sold separately. hoe Shquidonnaisha. Other Ken “babydaddies” sold separately. Act now and get the Section 8 housing projects for ½ price!!!.Act now and get the Section 8 housing projects for ½ price!!!.


““Mitchellville Barbie”Mitchellville Barbie”Also sold only at White Flint because PG stores make her uncomfortable. Feels slighted and Also sold only at White Flint because PG stores make her uncomfortable. Feels slighted and gets upset by the phrase “PG” but won’t shop south of Chevy Chase. She comes with a large gets upset by the phrase “PG” but won’t shop south of Chevy Chase. She comes with a large assortment of Giorgio Armani handbags, DKNY and Versace dresses, Black Glama fur, Benzos, assortment of Giorgio Armani handbags, DKNY and Versace dresses, Black Glama fur, Benzos, Beamers and Escalades. Fat diamond accessories make her smile. Beamers and Escalades. Fat diamond accessories make her smile. Feels superior to Adams Morgan and Langley Park Barbie but ain’t but one generation away Feels superior to Adams Morgan and Langley Park Barbie but ain’t but one generation away from South Central, Southeast or South Carolina. from South Central, Southeast or South Carolina. Uppity attitude sold separately but required for this model.Uppity attitude sold separately but required for this model.


““Frederick County Barbie”Frederick County Barbie”This farm hand Barbie comes complete with Daisy Duke shorts up to her hooch, Dolly This farm hand Barbie comes complete with Daisy Duke shorts up to her hooch, Dolly Parton hair and cattle lasso. Heavily bleached bouffant and authentic Tony Lama boots Parton hair and cattle lasso. Heavily bleached bouffant and authentic Tony Lama boots included. Plays her Toby Keith CD over and over and over so be ready.included. Plays her Toby Keith CD over and over and over so be ready.Beer guzzlin, alcoholic trucker Ken beats her weekly. To prevent broken bones, this is the Beer guzzlin, alcoholic trucker Ken beats her weekly. To prevent broken bones, this is the first bendable Barbie ever made. Bruise make-up included. If you purchase Ken, you will first bendable Barbie ever made. Bruise make-up included. If you purchase Ken, you will be required to register his location with the county police. be required to register his location with the county police. Monster truck sold separately.Monster truck sold separately.


““Middleburg Barbie”Middleburg Barbie”Comes with authentic Ariat Heritage II riding boots, Kerrits Free Rider jacket, Iredeon Power Comes with authentic Ariat Heritage II riding boots, Kerrits Free Rider jacket, Iredeon Power Stretch 3 season breeches and Mountain Horse derby. Stretch 3 season breeches and Mountain Horse derby. Daddy’s trust fund allows for unfettered spending so be prepared.Daddy’s trust fund allows for unfettered spending so be prepared.Four years at Wharton and three at Oxford give this Barbie more savvy and intel than all Four years at Wharton and three at Oxford give this Barbie more savvy and intel than all others. others. Shops heavily at Promenade Des Sens in Paris in the summer and Milan during the winter. Shops heavily at Promenade Des Sens in Paris in the summer and Milan during the winter. Maserati and Maybach sold separately.Maserati and Maybach sold separately.As a matter of fact, you can’t afford her so forget it.As a matter of fact, you can’t afford her so forget it.


““Gold Coast Barbie”Gold Coast Barbie”Where Mitchellville Barbie is “New Black Money”, Gold Coast Barbie is “Old Black Where Mitchellville Barbie is “New Black Money”, Gold Coast Barbie is “Old Black Money”. Talks down to Mitchellville Barbie and makes her feel small. Never put the two Money”. Talks down to Mitchellville Barbie and makes her feel small. Never put the two together; a cat fight will break out. She says together; a cat fight will break out. She says “PG”“PG” just to spite her. just to spite her. Understated wealth with Klein, Vanderbilt and Lauren being her designers of choice. Understated wealth with Klein, Vanderbilt and Lauren being her designers of choice. Comes with a Kennedy Center and Smithsonian lifetime membership and NPR sponsorship. Comes with a Kennedy Center and Smithsonian lifetime membership and NPR sponsorship. Being “Hi Yella” and “Passin” are expected on “The Coast”.Being “Hi Yella” and “Passin” are expected on “The Coast”.Hard to find lobbyist Ken can be found dining with Colin Powell, Barack Obama or Hard to find lobbyist Ken can be found dining with Colin Powell, Barack Obama or Condoleeza Rice. Condoleeza Rice. Understated but elegant Jaguar or Cadillac sold separately.Understated but elegant Jaguar or Cadillac sold separately.


““Adams Morgan Barbie”Adams Morgan Barbie”This back to the motherland African Princess has 14 jobs, and a catering service out the back of This back to the motherland African Princess has 14 jobs, and a catering service out the back of her apartment. Her 8 kids work for her and she can be found lugging giant sacks of rice and her apartment. Her 8 kids work for her and she can be found lugging giant sacks of rice and bundles of plantains on Columbia Road. bundles of plantains on Columbia Road. Rides a bus daily to Potomac Barbie’s house to raise her kids for her. Rides a bus daily to Potomac Barbie’s house to raise her kids for her. She doesn’t have a car but cab driving Ken takes her to “The Crossroads” every Saturday.She doesn’t have a car but cab driving Ken takes her to “The Crossroads” every Saturday.


““Rockville Barbie”Rockville Barbie”

She’s perfect in every way. This collagen injected, rhino plastic, botox Barbie wears She’s perfect in every way. This collagen injected, rhino plastic, botox Barbie wears Talbots outfits, drinks double martinis and snorts coke while entertaining friends at her 19Talbots outfits, drinks double martinis and snorts coke while entertaining friends at her 19 thth--century, 21-room home on W. Montgomery Ave. She also has no full time occupation or century, 21-room home on W. Montgomery Ave. She also has no full time occupation or secondary education unless you count the semester she went to Yale to "catch" Yuppie CEO secondary education unless you count the semester she went to Yale to "catch" Yuppie CEO Ken.Ken.

Pick from a Mercedes CLS class or Range Rover. Both sold separately.Pick from a Mercedes CLS class or Range Rover. Both sold separately.

Percocet, Valium, Prozac and Darvon prescriptions available but sold separately.Percocet, Valium, Prozac and Darvon prescriptions available but sold separately.

Get the variety pack and save.Get the variety pack and save.


““Langley Park Barbie”Langley Park Barbie”

This Spanish speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota, expired temp. tags and six This Spanish speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota, expired temp. tags and six niñas (all named Maria) in the back seat. No car seat needed. Flag from any Central-niñas (all named Maria) in the back seat. No car seat needed. Flag from any Central-American country included to hang from mirror. American country included to hang from mirror.

Lives with 18 other Barbies and 11 Kens on Flower Avenue but thanks the Virgin of Lives with 18 other Barbies and 11 Kens on Flower Avenue but thanks the Virgin of Guadalupe daily for her Guadalupe daily for her “vida hermosa.”“vida hermosa.”

The optional Ken doll can be found at the 7-11 on Piney Branch Road and comes with a The optional Ken doll can be found at the 7-11 on Piney Branch Road and comes with a paint-bucket and bag of pupusas. paint-bucket and bag of pupusas.

Green cards sold separately.Green cards sold separately.


““Cabin John Barbie”Cabin John Barbie”This model is made of actual tofu, soy and burlap. She has long straight brown hair, This model is made of actual tofu, soy and burlap. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow".that you call her "Willow".She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase her “Life Partner” Francie and She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase her “Life Partner” Francie and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free."Save the C & O Canal" tee shirt optional."Save the C & O Canal" tee shirt optional.


““Damascus Barbie”Damascus Barbie”This bubble gum chewing, heavily bleached Barbie has a pair of high-heeled Wal-Mart This bubble gum chewing, heavily bleached Barbie has a pair of high-heeled Wal-Mart sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Eli's Tavern. sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Eli's Tavern. Her ensemble includes 1986 acid-washed jeans, Lee Press-On nails and a see-through Her ensemble includes 1986 acid-washed jeans, Lee Press-On nails and a see-through halter-top from Marshalls. halter-top from Marshalls. Also available with a “Doublewide” sold separately. Also available with a “Doublewide” sold separately.


““Dupont Circle Ken”Dupont Circle Ken”This model comes with authentic leather chaps, silk thong undies and wifebeater muscle tee This model comes with authentic leather chaps, silk thong undies and wifebeater muscle tee 2 sizes too small. Only model that sings show tunes. 2 sizes too small. Only model that sings show tunes. Can usually be found cruising P Street after dark, at Ram Rods or La Cage aux Follies. Can usually be found cruising P Street after dark, at Ram Rods or La Cage aux Follies. Comes with a lifetime pass to the Shakespeare Theatre. He has no desire for a Barbie but Comes with a lifetime pass to the Shakespeare Theatre. He has no desire for a Barbie but other Kens are welcome. other Kens are welcome. Mazda Miata sold separately. Mazda Miata sold separately.

washington barbie

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