Warm-up

Assume that you are the parent.

What dating rules would you have for your teenager?

What would you do to keep them safe?

Do these rules differ from mother and father?

Chapter 8: DatingKILGORE

Love vs. Infatuation

Love Grows slowly

Long lasting

Love entire person

Want the person to grow

Willing to compromise

Improves performance

More kind and thoughtful

Trust

Ability to wait

More realistic

Infatuation Rush to marry

Less ambition, idealistic

Happens quickly

Short lived

Physical attraction

Jealousy

Many arguments

Twitterpated

Loss of appetite

Insecure in relationship

Dating…Understanding it’s purpose & process

Attitude – yourself

Growth

Positive and Negative Experiences

Long-term commitment

Timing (too young/too early)

Fickle

Slows much needed growth during your teen years

Decision making and goal achievement

Hindered? Consquences?

Styles of Dating

What is a date?

Dating is a social activity in which a couple spends time together getting to know each other.

Formal vs. Informal

What are they?

Examples?

Preference?

Then and now…

Traditionally

2015

Dating in the 1950s!

Functions of Dating

Understanding others

Understanding yourself

Providing companionship

Improving communication

Learning to negotiate

Learning responsibility

Evaluating personality traits

Stages of Dating

Relationships go through stages

Group dating= spending time dating with a large group of people.

Pair dating= as a couple develops a relationship with each other they spend more time one on one.

Steady dating= a commitment to dating only one person.

Advantages & Disadvantages

Good Security

Trust

Respect

Future

Be yourself

Feel loved

Bad May feel trapped

Breakup may be difficult

Peer pressure

Can limit experiences

Less time spent with friends

Survey Says…

Review the survey data

Starting a Relationship

Dating advice (from our book):

Make your appearance count.

Be friendly, confident, and courteous.

Start a conversation.

Listen intently to what the person shares.

Plan time together.

Personal Boundaries

Personal boundaries= are limits for behavior within relationships.

Apply to what you are willing to allow others to say or do to you.

Can help you know when a relationship has crossed the line.

Unhealthy behaviors signal that it is time to end a relationship.

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

Any kind of physical abuse.

Verbal abuse (name calling, yelling, demeaning criticism)

Demands on your times so you can not maintain relationships with friends and family.

Demand for sexual favors.

Disrespect for your ideas, feelings, and self.

Ending a Relationship

Close relationships rarely end by mutual consent.

Ending a relationship can be painful.

Focus on growth.

Suggestions for breakups:

Realize your partner will feel hurt.

Change your dating patterns.

Recognize your feelings are normal.

Emphasize other aspects of your life.

True?

Commitment to Marry

Engagement= formal commitment is the final stage before marriage.

In many relationships, a type of magnetism exists that draws two people together.

Dating which leads to marriage should be approached slowly.

It takes time for a couple to develop and identify whether the initial attraction will last.

Love

Romantic love= exhilarating feeling that can spark a relationship.

Mature love= long lasting, caring, and giving type of love.

Infatuation= strong feeling of attraction, tends to be one sided.

Assignment: Your ideal mate.

Growth of Mature Love

Develop rapport: enjoy being together, want to spend more time getting to know each other.

Personal sharing: as a couple shares time, thoughts, ideas, and feelings, the find acceptance in each other.

Dependency on each other: couple becomes attached, depend on each other for support and encouragement, the miss each other when they are apart.

Feeling of satisfaction: both feel their personal needs are being met, love grows deeper.

Expressing Affection

As a couple grows closer, they may find themselves drawn into a desire to give physical expression to their love.

Think about your choices, consider the consequences, and make logical decisions based on your values.

Psychological Consequences

Many people are brought up to believe that sexual intimacy belongs in marriage.

Values learned from family, friends, and religious beliefs may be very strong.

Having sex does not signify commitment.

Negative consequences of self doubt, guilt, feeling used, fear, and lack of trust can occur.

Pregnancy

Abstinence= not having sex, only 100% method of avoiding pregnancy.

Caring for a baby is a 24 hour responsibility that requires social, emotional, and intellectual maturity.

Teen parents may not finish high school.

Teen pregnancy poses health risks for mother and baby.

May not receive proper prenatal care because they are in denial.

STD’s

HPV= infect the skin and mucous membranes, may cause…

Genital warts= small bumps or clusters of bumps on the genitals.

Some HPV types can cause cervical cancer.

Gonorrhea= a bacterial infection that can damage the male and female organs, resulting in sterility.

Chlamydia= a bacterial infection that can damage a woman's reproductive organs, may not no obvious symptoms.

Herpes= incurable virus produces painful sores or blisters.

Syphilis= bacterial infection can be treated with an antibiotic, begins with chancre sore, can affect liver, skin, heart and nervous system.

Hepatitis B= a virus that attacks the liver.

AIDS= caused by HIV, attacks cells that help fight infection and disease.

Rape

Rape= forced sexual intercourse.

Date rape= forced sex with a dating partner against one’s will.

Studies show that alcohol and drugs are often involved.

Date rape drugs cause victims to become physically helpless and unable to remember.

Don’t take a drink from a stranger!

No means no!