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9/,Columbia, NYUundergrads andpublic-school kidsrediscover thejoys oflearning.

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Hillary's Target:Schumer!

She:c;running againstChuck's '04 margin.

Hillary Clinton has no realopponent in her reelectionbid, and yet campaign filingsshow she has shelled out $11million-about a third ofberwar chest-on an aggressiveblitz of direct mail, polling,costly 60-second TV spots,and get-out-the-vote groundh'oops. So who's sherunning against? 'Wedon't want turnout tobe so low folks don'tshow up and we squeakby and look weak goinginto the presidentialnext year," saysa source closeto the Clintoncampaign."There aren'ta lot of reasonsfor folks toshowup: Thegovernor'srace is notgoing to becompetitive;there's nolieutenant

"-

governor's race." And thenthere's the popularity ofher fellow senator, ChuckSchumer, who pulled 71percent of the vote in '04. 'Wedon't expect to get Schumernumbers. We just don't wantSchumer to be so high andus be so low," the source says.Howard Wolfson, Clinton'scampaign spokesman, expectslow turnout because there's nopresidential race but declinedto reveal any specific efforts.'We don't discuss campaign

strategy," he says.-Geoffrey Gray

about bull-riding knowsthis ain't a cruel sport." Theflank straps are lined withsheepskin to make them"more cushiony;' he says,adding that the bulls aregiven Gatorade to enhancebucking power. "If you'reworried about cruelty, youdon't have to worry aboutthe bulls. You have to worryaboutthe gnys." -G.G.

help spike a bill that wouldhave banned the sport inthe city. Itworked. Butnow, after renting out theGarden for two days inJanuary and announcingthe ''historic'' event duringa recent promotional tour,PBR president Ty Murrayhas learned that Queenscouncilman Tony Avella hasreintroduced legislation thatwould ban "flank straps;'beltlike ropes that promptbulls to buck. "The bulldoesn't react this way onits mvn," explains Avella.Murray, a self-proclaimedfourth-generation cowboyfrom Stephenville, Texas,who's also the singer Jewel'sboyfriend, says city-slickerpols are misinformed."Anyone who knows anything

Jewel's CowboyBucked

By animal-lovingcity politicos.

WHOLE FOODS, theGreenmarket's Union Squarebig -box nemesis, recentlyannounced a plan to sellmore locally grown goods inits stores. But Greenmarketfarmers are ambivalent aboutsigning up. Morse Pitts ofWindfall Fanns says WholeFoods seeks total amguladomination. "Unless you'rebig enough to ship it to theirshipping center and then backto the local Whole Foods,you'll be cut off;' he says. "Theywant to wipe out all the littlebuyers, so then you don't have

LAST YEAR, aspart of a long-standing effOltto bring the bull-riding circuitback to MadisonSquare Gill'den,ProfessionalBull Riders,Inc. coughedup $15,000 inlobbying fees to

SEPTEMBER 4-11,2006 I NEW YORK 17

Intelligencer

a choice." Fanners who alreadywork "vith the chain say thatthe supermarket's folksyin-store displays take poeticlicense. "Has my picture beenabove a bin of watermelonsfrom Florida? I know it has;says Brian Nicholson of RedJacket Orchards, an upstatefruit farm, who's been sellingto Whole Foods for nearlyfive years. ':And does thatmake me angry? Yes. But howmany retailers are partneringwith growers?" Whole Foodsspokesperson Fred Shankdismisses the hubbub, sayingpartnerShips with local farmsare part of the company's "corevalues;' -Janelle Nanos

JUST IN TIME for Labor Day,some residents of Sagaponack(the wealthiest Zip in theworld, according to Forbes)are smoldering over plans for anew BBQjoint by Mark Smithand Toni Ross (owners of Nick& Toni's), opening later thisyear. Reportedly called TmvnLine Barbeque, the 80-seater,viII senre meats slow-cookedin a smoker that will protrudeout ofthe building and thatneighbors like Jean Sinenbergare convinced will stink up thearea. "There's nothing aroundit to buffer the odor. There'sa golf course directly acrossthe street. Do you like to playgolf first thing in the morningsmelling barbecue?" Shecontinues: "They're talkingabont running [the smoker]

24/7. They're a big corporationwith six facilities. Are theyturning this into a meat-processing plant?" Smith says,"It's not like I'm reinventinga type of cooking. No one hasdied from barbecue smoke.These people are reactingto some irrational fear."Sinenberg counters, "It's notthat I'm against barbecue.I love barbecue:'

-ShanaLiebrnan

DidGovt. TalletWest Villalre Lefties?Nah, probably not

-this time.

WHEN TWO computerscontaining databases andfinancial records were stolenearlier this year from theBrecht Forum's new WestVillage digs, domestic spyingwas immediately assumed.Founded in 1975 as the NewYork Marxist School, Brecht'sstill home to hard-corelefties, but they eventuallydecided it was just a third-rateburglary. "It appears not tohave been a political break-in. Someone had gotten inthrough a window facing thestreet and through a lock onthe iron gate;' said outreachcoordinator Liz Roberts. Sheadded that a computer withlists oflocal activists wasstolen from Brecht's previousoffice in the late nineties,and she firmly believes tbatheist was a political act:"It's hard to prove, but thegovernment has a historyof countersurveillance andspying on left-wing groups."In the meantime, 'We will tryto keep doing our educationalwork on surveillance andrepression." Asked about thephrase SHOPLIFTING IS NOT

A CRIME scrawled on twoof the forum's doors, shesaid it wasn't an invitationto rob but "part of a graffitiexhibit." -Mary Reinholz

HAVE A TIP?intel@nymag,com.

18 NEW YORK I SEPTEMBER 4-11, 2006

IT HAPPENED LAST WEEK

ByMarkAdams

Child's Play

INA WEEK WHEN one of Osama bin Laden's formerconcubines revealed that the terrorist was reservinghis greatest love of all for Whitney Houston-she

ofthe argnably jihad-friendly belief "that children areourfuture"-juvenile behavior seemed to be in evidenceeverywhere. Iran, suddenly the most popular kid in theMiddle Eastern clique, flirted with the U.N. but refusedto play nice when asked for a time-out on em;chinguranium. A pouty President Bush declared that Francewould never be America's BFF unless Jacques Chiraccoughed up more than 200 troops to patrol southernLebanon. The rej~venated Yankees swept five gamesfrom the second-place Red Sox; wunderkind Bostongeneral manager Theo Epstein whined that he hadn'tsigned Bobby "Mr. August'; Abreu because the dog hadeaten his checkbook. Viacom dumped Tom Cruise forjumping on Oprah's furniture. A sibling pair of hipsterbank robbers who'd pulled off three city heistS werenabbed when the brother tattled on his little sister out-side a West Side methadone clinic. Meanwhile, therewas reason to worry about actual children's futures. Jon-Benet Ramsey's sad story was back in the news. A Har-vard study showed that kids are fatter than ever, and atyounger ages. New York State's number of "persistently

dangerous" schools-such as, say, the oneJ>-""--""" where two 12-year-olds were found wres-

tling over a loaded gun last year-morethan tripled. Millionaire Senate candidateKT McFarland's teenage daughter wasbusted'for taking a five-finger discount onbikinis and jeans at Uvo Hamptons bou-

I r~tiqUes. A 12-year-old Staten Islander

Ii' . playing in the Little League World11 Series dropped the F-bomb on na-- \ 1, tional TV and received both a paternal

~ smack from his coach and a stern talk-ing-to from his parents. "My family'supset;' he admitted. As Osama mightsay, quoting Whitney, "If I fail, if! suc-ceed / At least I live as I believe."