Rites of Passage

All societies recognise a series of stages to life. Religions

mark these stages by ‘rites of passage’ or ceremonies that

recognise and celebrate these important changes.

Examples of these ceremonies are baptisms, marriages

and funerals. Every religion has its own version of a

wedding ceremony. For an interesting and superb

example of one of these ceremonies, we will look at the

religion of Judaism.

A Jewish wedding

Marriage Arrangements in Judaism

Jewish marriages are planned very carefully. Usually a

close friend or relative will help a persont o find a suitable

marriage partner. When they find someone who they think

will make a good husband or wife they arrange a meeting.

The purpose of the meeting is to see if the couple are

compatible. Jews believe it is important for a couple to find

each other both attractive and intellectually interesting.

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There is no point in getting married if the couple

experience a clash of personalities.

The Closeness of the Married Couple

Jews call marriage ‘kiddushin’ which means ‘dedication’.

This word indicates that a married couple now have an

exclusive relationship. It is often said that a married

couple are so close that they are ‘one soul in two bodies’.

The Ceremony

1) The Reception and Marriage Contract

Before the wedding ceremony the brdie and groom, their

families and guests all meet at reception. Here the groom

signs a contract known as a ‘ketuvah’. This contract lists all

the conditions of the marriage. For example, it says that

the husband must provide his wife with food, clothing, a

place to live and pleasure. The ketuvah is often a very

beautiful framed certificated that is displayed in the family

home. It can act as a reminder of what the couple have

promised to each other and can be quite individual in

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character. It can include things that are particularly

important to a couple but not necessarily to anybody else.

After the signing of the marriage contract, everyone at the

reception has a drink of hard liquor and shouts ‘lechaim!’ –

‘to life!

A ketuvah

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2) The Chuppah

The bride then joins the groom and rabbi under a special

canopy. This canopy, known as a ‘chuppah’ reminds the

couple of their future home together. The groom usually

wears a white garment called a ‘kittel’. This symbolises

that the couple are starting off their married life in a clean

and pure state. When the bride arrives at the chuppah, she

circles the groom seven times. This symbolises the idea of

the woman being a protective, surrounding light of the

household. It also means that the bride will illuminate her

family home with love from within and protect it from the

dangers of the outside world.

3) The Goblet

The couple drink wine from the same goblet. Wine is a

symbol of joy. Drinking from the same cup shows that the

couple are going to share their lives together in happiness.

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A chuppah

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A Jewish couple beneath a chuppah. Note that a prayer

robe or ‘tallit’ is draped over their shoulders.

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An indoor chuppah

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A bride and groom with the groom wearing the kittel

4) The Ring

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The groom then puts a ring on the bride’s finger. He then

says in Hebrew: ‘You are now married to me, with this

ring, by the Law of Moses and of Israel.’ She is now his

wife.

5) The Seven Blessings

The Rabbi says seven blessings over the couple. He

concludes this by saying: ‘I praise G-d who has created joy,

gladness, bride and groom, love and brotherhood,

pleasure and delight and peace and harmony.’

6) The Breaking of the Glass

Finally the groom breaks a glass on the floor with the heel

of his shoe. This is a reminder to the couple that although

there will be happiness in their marriage, there will also

be difficulties that they should face together. Some men

joke that this act is the last time that the husband will get

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to ‘put his foot down.’ After the groom has broken the

glass the congregation shout ‘Mazel Tov!’ which means

‘Good Luck!’ The service is now over.

Mazel Tov!

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The bride and groom leave the room for a while. When

they come back in, everyone shouts ‘For the very first

time, Mr and Mrs __________________!’ There then follows a

party with dancing, singing, circus tricks and drinks all

round.

Check out the link below for a surprising take on a

contemporary Jewish wedding celebration:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3n8si-gj_U

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Here are the lyrics to a song titled ‘Mazel Tov’.

Unfortunately, I am not able to find an English translation:

‘Mazel Tov’ – by Eli Marcus

Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov

Ma-Ma-Ma-Mazel Tov

Hineni Bozeh Lehabia Birchosi Birchas Mazel Tov

Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov

Ma-Ma-Ma-Mazel Tov

Un A Gita Sho

Un A Mazeldike Sho

Mit Simcha Un Mit Freid

Besho’oh Tova Umutzlachas Binyan Adei Ad

Veyivnu Bayis Beyisroel Binyan Adei Ad

Al Yesodei Hatorah

HaTorah VehaMitzvah

Binyan Adei Ad Adei Ad

Task One

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Answer the following questions in as much detail as possible. You can follow the suggestions made in the ‘literacy advice’ or else answer the questions without any support. Remember, the literacy advice is there to help you but not to do the work for you. Once you are sufficiently confident and have developed your skills, you can try to give good and detailed answers to questions by yourself.

(a) What would a Jew look for in a marriage partner? Why do you think Jews find these qualities important?

Literacy advice: you can begin your answer by writing: Jews look for several things in a marriage partner. These include…..

(b) What image is used to describe the closeness of a married couple?

Literacy advice: begin your answer by writing: A married couple are often described as ………………… . This image shows ………………

(c) What does the marriage certificate or ‘ketuvah’ say a husband should provide for his wife? Additionally, what role should the wife fulfil for her husband and their family?

Literacy advice: begin your answer with: The Jewish marriage contract says that a husband should …………..

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(d) What is a ‘chuppah’ and what does it symbolise? What is the ‘goblet’ and what does it ‘symbolise’?

Literacy advice: begin your answer by writing: A ‘chuppah’ is …………..

(e) At what part of the marriage ceremony does the bride become the groom’s wife?

Literacy advice: you can begin your answer by writing: The bride becomes the groom’s wife when …………

(f) Who is the most important person at the wedding? Explain why you think this is so.

Literacy advice: begin your answer by writing: The most important person at a Jewish wedding is……

(g) What do people shout at the breaking of the glass? What does the breaking of the glass mean?

Literacy advice: begin your answer by writing: When the groom stamps on a glass at a Jewish wedding ………..

Design a Ketuvah

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The ‘ketuvah’ or Jewish wedding contract is a wonderful

statement about the relationship of a married couple.

Below is an authentic example of what can be written as

part of such a marriage agreement:

Today I love you completely as I did yesterday and as I will tomorrow. I will be there for you when you need me the most. I will hold you in my heart just as I hold you in my arms. I will share in your dreams, delight in your joys and comfort you in your sorrows. I will be your confidant, your counsel, your friend and your lover. When you are not within my sight, you will be within my thoughts. You are my life, you are my dreams, you are my joy; you

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are my love and you are my everything. At this moment you are all that I know and all that I see. As we grow old together and our love matures, may we hold on to the passion and affection for each other that we feel today. Our commitment to each other seals this document.

Ketuvahs are very decorative. The agreement is usually

written in the ancient language of Judaism – Hebrew, and

then another everyday language spoken by the couple. Of

course, one popular example of such a language is English.

Ketuvahs also have pictures of flowers and perhaps Jewish

symbols that show this is a religious and spiritual

document. If you click on the link underneath, you will be

able to look at many examples of ketuvahs.

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https://www.google.com/search?q=ketubah+designs&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi2ioW41qTpAhXJiFwKHY0KBi8Q_AUoAXoECAwQAw&biw=1491&bih=773

Task Two

is to design your own ketuvah. It can be a version of a

traditional Jewish ketuvah or else a non-Jewish marriage

agreement based on the idea of a ketuvah.

(a) Make a note of what you think a married couple should promise to each other. You can ask your parents for their opinions on this. Use this list for your completed ketuvah.

(b) Try to make a list of five or six promises. (c) Should the promises be the same for each person?

(d) Think of a design for your ketuvah. It would be best to do this on an A4 size sheet of plain paper. For inspiration, use the examples of ketuvahs you can find through the link.

(e) Alternatively, if you want to do your own version of a non-Jewish ‘ketuvah’ or marriage agreement, you can use pictures and symbols that would be important to you.

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A traditional ketuvah

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