Volume by Dashiell Driscoll I like to listen to music when I drive. Guess its just one of those special little things that makes me unique. A song I enjoy came on the radio the other day and, without thinking about what I was doing, I reached for the volume knob as the track was fading out. I gave it a quick clockwise spin to thwart its disappearing act. The final lyrics came through my speakers at an almost normal volume. Then it was gone. She broke up with me a few months ago. I got an email that outlined all of my bullshit. I couldnt believe what I was reading. Its not like she was wrong. She was right about all of it; I just didnt realize she had been keeping such meticulous track the whole time we were together. Then, as soon as she was no longer in my life, I realized how much she meant to me. I sent a response telling her I could change. I could be the person she deserved. Please dont let this song be over. As the days and weeks and months went on, every attempt to get her back pushed her further away. Everything was too little too late. We had fleeting moments of bygone familiarity, but the reality of the situation always came around like a flat tire. I was desperately turning up the volume of a fading song. Prolonging an inevitability that was beyond my control. Do you know what happens when you call a radio station to request a song after it ends? I do. I used to do it all the time as kid. Theyll tell you they just played that song, but if you wait a bit theyll probably play it again. Stay tuned! That song you cant do without will be coming back before you know it. Thats more or less what she told me. Its over for now, but who knows whatll happen in the future. Ive heard that line before. In my experience, disc jockeys might mean it more than ex-girlfriends but both are just trying to get you off the phone. I imagine if you kept calling a radio station to request the same song, eventually theyd stop picking up. Thats the situation I find myself in now. Ive exhausted the request lines. And while Im sure there are plenty of other wonderful songs out there, I cant find it in me to change the station. Im just sitting here turning up the volume of a song that ended months ago. It might come back one day, but it wont be today. Silence.