8/9/2019 Vodka & Chocolate

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8/9/2019 Vodka & Chocolate

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w amount of cacao. Avoid Cadbury’s if you’re

ring with any wine other than a heavy port—

English tradition of using caramelised milk 

rwhelms virtually anything you’re drinking.

n Selig was a key contributor to this article.

SS IS MOREdka is wonderfully popular considering it has

distinctive character, aroma, taste or color—

nothing. Just ethanol and water.

Ponder that for a few moments as you walk 

o a bar with 30 ‘di erent’ vodkas strewn

out in bottles from drab to the insanely 

ate. Contemplate their staggeringly broad

ce range. Is this some worldwide marketing

nspiracy to rid you of hard-earned cash in the

se of sophistication? An insane puppet theatre

ere we consumers are being strung around by 

tenders, who, in turn, are being manipulated

bar owners and tarts in tube-tops plyingutiful bott le design? Are we all playing with

e another here? Yes we are.

Smirno , for example, launched Vodka

o the collective psyche by the sheer force of 

vertising. No harm done. Absolut, however,

o blame for the idea that the bottle mattered

re than its contents. In their defense though,

nnot imagine that Absolut had any idea of 

pestilence such an epiphany could bring.

ndora’s bott le was cracked.

Okay, yes, there are, possibly, some minute

 erences between vodkas. Not, however, from

at they are made from.e production of 

anol is designed to produce, you guessedethanol. A simple compound that, aer the

ense distillations used to produce vodka, looks,

feels and tastes exactly the same whether it was

derived from the fermentation of potatoes, beets,

grains, plain sugar or the juice of a Cornish pasty.

Tiny di erences in vodka, theoretically, might be

found in congener content. ese chemicals are

aldehydes, esters, etc. that contribute to the taste

of certain liquors, especially ones not thoroughly 

distilled. Congeners have been implicated inhangovers via far less than scientic methods.

However, most vodka you’ll nd on the shelves

is a disti llate that was 95-percent pure ethanol

before being diluted with water and then ltered,

hence it’s basically free of congeners. Does one

need to lter 64 times, or is once enough? Once

does it. So then, what is the di erence between

the vodka brands you’re likely to select from?

Dihydrogenated oxygen. Cripes! What’s that?

Water. Yep, the di erence is water, or is it?

Do you wonder about what ice cubes the

bartender uses to shake your cocktail before

decanting it into your glass? Do you enquireabout the quality of their ice, its source, mineral

content, etc.? No, you don’t. You don’t because it

doesn’t matter. Same goes for the water in your

Vodka. Care to examine the residues of soap and

disinfectant le on the interior surfaces of those

‘clean’ glasses the barkeep pours your vodka into?

Ever watch the typical ‘washing’ process?

If you believe any di erences in vodkas

made with glacial, holy, tap, or backwater remain

relevant once its poured into that glass, well, you

need a sti drink.

Enjoy the ultimate mixer without being a

chump. Drink your Coke straight. Save your big

money for super premium Scotch, Tequila andwine. Nothing says “I don’t care about cash”

as much as that Grey Goose and Cranberry.

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È

Organise a blind tasting with you friends

Invest in a wide array of vodkas and mak

sure to cover up the bottles and anything

else that would give away the brand.

Smirno , Gordon’s, etc. usually win

against the Gooses, Skyys, Chopins, Kete

Belvederes and whatever new sexy bottlecomes out next.