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Copyright © 2016 by Dr. Charlotte Jones-Burton and Delvin A. Burton, All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the authors and their publisher.
This book is dedicated to our ancestors who have instilled in us the values that guide our lives.
Table of Contents
1. Introduction 2. Live Life! 3. What Gets Left Behind? 4. What Gets Done? 5. Realizing and Understanding Our Values 6. From Values to Vision 7. Living a Fulfilled Life 8. Getting Back on Track 9. How to Live Your Life
Introduction
Living a fulfilled and impactful life can be a challenge these days
with so many distractions and activities vying for our time. We find
ourselves increasingly busy, overscheduled and often glued to our
electronic devices. Juggling a wide range of competing priorities
can make us feel overwhelmed and stressed. Despite devoting a
great deal of energy to so many activities, we do not necessarily
engage in pursuits that matter.
We, Delvin A. Burton and Charlotte Jones-Burton, have developed
a strategy for living an action-packed life with both MEANING and
IMPACT that we want to share with others who are striving to live
a fulfilled life. In this book, we plan to provide you with a few
lessons we have learned over the two decades and our system for
prioritizing what gets left behind and what gets done.
Live Life!
“Viva La Vida” translated into English means “Live Life!” “Life is for
the living” was a common saying that I, Charlotte, heard my mom
repeat when I was growing up. It was not until the last 10 years
that I developed an appreciation for this advice and began to
understand how to apply it in my own life. In a world with so many
distractions, so many obligations, it is easy to simply check things
off a “To Do” list and forget to actually live life. My mom taught
me and my husband, Delvin, how to live an active life … fully … no
regrets … with meaning.
My mom was a perfect example for us because she always did what
she needed to do and did not wait for the future. She did not live
in the past. She maximized every day to its fullest potential, and
her life was an inspiration. In a short 53 years, she was the first
in her family to attend college, she raised a daughter who became
a doctor, she was an entrepreneur who owned a technology
business, and she gave her time to serve and mentor others.
Indeed, she gave us a clear view that doing what matters is more
important than just doing lots of things that neither excite you nor
contribute or add value to others’ lives.
We want to share our knowledge and experience of how to achieve
fulfillment and stay on track with the things that really matter in
your life. Often, we find ourselves stuck in the past or focused so
much on the future that we don’t appreciate what we currently
have. Many of us either need to learn or be reminded how to live
in the present and how to make the most out of today, because we
only have one life to live.
But how do we decide what matters and how to prioritize? Now
more than ever because of all the distractions that exist, it is
important to have a system for living a life filled with pursuits that
make a difference and avoid living a life filled with meaningless
activities.
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to
change the world. --Harriet Tubman
What Gets Left Behind?
Our days are hectic from the moment we open our eyes to the time
we go to sleep. Like many households, we both work full time and
have an active child. There is always something to do and not
enough time to do it. We are very engaged in our community, sit
on various boards, and have volunteered at our son’s school. From
time to time, we ask ourselves “Why are we doing this?” and at
times it’s easier to answer than others.
We were very involved in our son’s school during his primary
grades, with Delvin serving as PTO co-president. Along with a
group of other parents, we sponsored a mega fundraising event
that consumed many, many weeknight and weekend hours. The
event was a big success and when it was over, we were proud to
have been involved, knowing that our actions had meaning. The
money raised provided classroom libraries and grants for special
projects designed to impact students directly. We had served our
purpose, and the “why” question was easy to answer.
We wish all of the activities we become involved in would have such
an impact and produce a similar sense of fulfillment. But each of
us individually and collectively have had our share of “misses” even
after devoting a lot of time and effort toward what we thought was
meaningful. And after many “misses,” there are some things that
we know we should have left behind. For instance, when our son
was a toddler he was involved in a play group. The moms started
a book club which was an extension of the play group. The book
club cycled through a few books before I, Charlotte, realized that I
was the mom exerting the most time and effort to organize the
club. While I enjoyed our social gatherings and the book
discussions, I did not think our gatherings were making a
difference on the lives of others. I was not fulfilled. After this
realization, I stopped investing time to this group.
As an educator, I, Delvin remember feeling a lack of fulfillment and
a sense of being at odds with a new job that I accepted as a
technology teacher at a ‘No Excuses’ charter school. Soon after
the school year began, I realized that I had concerns about some
of the practices that were imposed on the students in an effort to
improve their performance. Having served as an administrator in
another school system, I had a clear understanding of ethical
leadership practices. After witnessing questionable practices by
the charter school leaders, whose values conflicted with my ethics
and educational philosophy, I decided to leave my position before
the end of the school year. I realized that the drive that I had in
my previous teaching and administrative positions was being
extinguished in this environment.
Looking back it seems obvious that we would have done more of
the substantive activities that left us feeling fulfilled such as the
school fundraiser and fewer activities we want to leave behind,
such as the moms’ book club and teaching at the charter school.
And now it is obvious. These experiences and the lessons learned
from them serve as a guide. And now, in a matter of moments,
we can decide what to take on, what we will do (with passion), and
what will fulfill our lives!
Do it with passion or not at all. --Author unknown
What Gets Done?
So, how do we determine what to do? It starts with identifying
what matters, what things we value. We have to think about our
values like they are an internal GPS system. Our values reside
inside of us and can help guide our decisions. They are our beliefs,
our ideas about what is important, and they compel us to do certain
things over and over again, even without noticing that we are doing
them.
What are the things that we care about and would not be a
complete person without? These values need to inform our vision
for our lives. What do we want to do in the next year or next five
years? What are the things that we need to take into account so
that we can create an action plan that is grounded and based on
our values? We need to identify these things because, in the end,
the things that matter are the things that are linked to our values.
Our values must inform our vision and action in order to live a life with meaning and impact! --The Burtons
Realizing and Understanding Our Values
What do I value?
Delvin
There was a defining period in my life when I realized that for me
to excel and be in a place where I felt good – in a “zone” -- my
work needs to be connected to my values. These values are
service, learning, and teamwork.
From elementary school on, my family encouraged me to become
a doctor. Both of my grandmothers were nurses and were the
closest to “professionals” in my family. They saw a career in
medicine as my path to success. Eager to please my family, I
enrolled in pre-med courses during my first year of college, but I
was not enjoying or doing well in these classes. However, there
was something different that I was passionate about: an
afterschool tutorial program in an underserved area in St. Louis for
which Charlotte and I volunteered. Serving as leaders for this
program and seeing the benefit that tutoring brought to the kids
was very rewarding. I thrived during this experience and it led me
to pursue education as my major. Education, instead of medicine,
was a natural way for me to serve others. The field of education
has been a meaningful path for me. Thus far I have had a positive
impact on classrooms, schools, and a district. I have been involved
in initiatives with impact at local and national levels. In my current
role I am blessed to be able to inspire and support aspiring school
leaders. I help school leaders identify who they are and what their
values are. Rather than pursuing a medical career because others
saw it as my path to success, I am training transformational school
leaders to make an impact in underserved communities. Serving
others who in turn serve underprivileged communities brings me
great fulfillment.
What do I value?
Charlotte
I was asked this question by a coach a few years into my first job,
and initially, I was unsure how to answer it. After the coach guided
me through an exercise with several questions, I was able to
pinpoint my values. Working with others (community), serving
others (service), having fun (adventure), and doing good (making
a difference) were all things that were at my core and that I could
trace back to my childhood.
As my values became clear, I began to look at my workplace and
realized that my job was not satisfying or fulfilling. I love to
collaborate with people, but I was working in a very competitive
environment, which made me uncomfortable. I could see that I
was not honoring my values in my professional life, my confidence
was shrinking, and I was not bringing my best self to work. Armed
with this new clarity, I began to imagine a work environment where
I could thrive. I needed to make a change.
Leaving that job became a defining moment of my life. I identified
my values and developed a vision and this informed my action.
Finding a new company with an environment that aligns with my
values has enabled me to maximize my contributions and have a
positive impact at work.
Both Delvin and I have had defining experiences in our lives that
have helped us to be cautious when asked to get involved in
projects, activities, or initiatives. There are a lot of activities that
others believe we should do. During our young adult years, our
peers and family were primary sources of advice. But just because
those whose opinions we value and trust advise us to follow a
“proper direction,” it may not be the best fit for us as individuals.
We may have a different path in our life that is more closely aligned
with our values and thus has more meaning and impact.
Sometimes you need to ask yourself: Am I just getting by or am I
thriving? Are the activities that I am involved in reflective of my
values? Am I happy with how I am living life at home and how I
am living life at work? Does my personal life – the choices I make
and the actions I take - reflect my values? Does my workplace
compliment and/or honor my values?
From Values to Vision
Visioning is the active process of thinking about what we want to
do in the short and long term while focusing us on the things that
really matter to us. As we decide how to spend our time, we
remember the lessons learned from the many groups and activities
we have engaged in. We remember that we feel positive when our
values are reflected in the things that we do. Therefore, we
develop a values-based plan.
When we have clarity about our values, we can develop a vision
that enables us to thrive. We are purposeful about visioning and
commit to doing it at least once a year. Our vision, our plan, comes
from first, understanding the core principles that drive us and then
defining the goals we want to achieve (and sometimes,
determining how we can attain them as well).
Because our lives are so busy and we want to be mindful about
what we become involved with, one to two times per year, we
create a couple’s vision and individual visions. This process
involves in-depth discussions and reflections. We document our
vision on paper clipping pictures/words from magazines, creating
a vison board. The board becomes a road map. Each picture on
the board represents an action or activity that we want to do.
The vision board is a visual representation of where we are and
what we want to achieve. It is both inspirational and aspirational.
There have been times when we have dreamt of something but we
were not sure of how to make it happen. An example of this
occurred during our 2014 end-of-year visioning when Delvin came
across the statement “Be your own boss.” He cut these words out
and pasted them on his board that was displayed in our master
bedroom. There is no doubt that seeing this vision board often,
influenced our decision to purchase a franchise in the fall of 2015.
We did not question whether we were ready and able to “Be our
own boss.” Instead of being distracted with worry or fear, we
focused on evaluating the franchise from a business standpoint.
Within four months, we made the purchase. Including “Be your
own boss” on our vision board made this dream possible, and when
the opportunity presented itself, we had the confidence and
conviction to move forward.
This process of visioning has been one of the most impactful
activities that we do to produce a life that is value based and
ultimately brings fulfillment. So how do we develop our vision? To
learn more about our visioning process visit our website
(www.binspiredp3.com).
Where there is no a vision, the people perish. Proverbs 29:18
Living a Fulfilled Life
Our vision boards help us identify and become clear about what
things we will focus on. Clarity about what we are working toward
is a great first step, but not the only step. To make sure we act
accordingly we ask ourselves two salient questions: how do we live
a fulfilled life? How do we decide what actions to take?
The answers to these questions are reflected in this book’s title:
VIVA La Vida. In addition to meaning “live” in English, “VIVA”
represents an acronym we created: Values Informing Vision and
Action. So how do we live a fulfilled life? It’s simple ... we use our
values to inform our vision and actions.
VIVA = Values Informing Vision and Action
We recently created a company called “B. Inspired” that is
grounded in our values of service, continuous growth, and
leadership. Our vision is to utilize this company to help build the
mental, physical, and social capacity of the communities where we
spend our time. Our mission is to inspire people to pursue
meaningful experiences that magnify their passion, purpose and
potential.
For us, success is defined by being able to live a life filled with
actions based on our values that have meaning and impact.
Without achieving the level of success you are striving for, you will
impede your ability to live your best life. So the first thing you
need to do is reflect on the things that will satisfy you or will really
make you feel fulfilled. What are the things that help you maximize
your potential? Are you living the life that offers you more or are
you just settling for the things that you have?
Action without vision is only passing time, vision without action is merely day dreaming, but vision
with action can change the world. --Nelson Mandela
Getting Back on Track
Understanding the experiences that give us fulfillment, will allow
us to take consistent steps towards living the life that is driven by
our values. It is important to create a vision to guide our actions,
track our success in engaging in meaningful activities, celebrate
our achievements and make adjustments as needed.
We may begin on the right track but end up off that track during
the process and sometimes we do not even realize it. Or we may
begin on the wrong track and need to take actions to get back on
track. How can we make adjustments if we are unaware that we
are off track? A car analogy comes to mind. After we drive our
cars every 3,000 miles, we should get our cars serviced. If we do
not get our cars serviced, we could drive them for years and not
realize that the wheels need alignment. Periodic maintenance can
identify and correct minor problems. Similarly, we must
periodically review our values and the activities that we are
involved in. This review process can help us make changes and
corrections if we notice that our actions are not aligned with our
values.
How do we ensure our actions stay in alignment with our core
values? Throughout the year, we check our vision board and
determine if we are on or off track. We can make necessary
adjustments so that we can head toward the vision we planned or
we can adjust the vision based on what we have learned
throughout the year.
Getting off track simply means that there is an opportunity to do
better. Then we have to ask ourselves, “What does doing better
look like? What would help me improve?” Even when life seems
good, there may be the potential to make minor changes that will
have significant results.
Often people are aware they have the capacity for something
greater than what they are doing but struggle to determine how to
change course. In order to get to that better place, the first thing
to do is reflect on what you truly value ask “Does the life that I am
living match my core values?” Maybe you do not even realize that
you are out of alignment.
Ask yourself what is important to you and identify your values. Do
you value adventure, independence, wealth? Or do you value civic
responsibility, stewardship, success? Use the answers to the
reflection questions listed on our website www.binspiredp3.com to
create or revise your vision and then take action.
This process is circular: our values inform our vision and action and
our actions honor our values. We have developed the habit of
asking: Are my values reflected in my actions? Is my vision driving
me to an action that fulfills and coincides with my values? Do I
need to make an adjustment?
How to Live Your Life
Grab a piece of paper, sit down right now and write a list of all the
things that you value. From that list, pick three to five things that
are of utmost importance to you. Take the time to identify those
core values. Discover the things that you really want to do and the
things that really matter to you. Then, map out the steps that you
want to take in your personal life, your professional life and even
in your spiritual life so that your values will lead you to your vision.
Form your vision and begin to set up actions for the things that you
want to do in the next 30 days, the next 60 days, the next 90 days
or even the next year.
Ask yourself what new things you can do that would bring you
closer to the values that you have. If, for example, you want to
be more adventurous in your life, what actions can you take to
make that possible?
An accountability partner will make this process smoother and
more successful. We incorporate this role into our marriage but it
does not have to be a spouse. Pick someone who will hold you
accountable and help you focus on what you want to do.
Accountability propels us toward our goals because it requires us
to share them. Through sharing, our goals become more defined.
Your goals should be written out so that they become concrete and
real. We commit to our goals when they are written down and not
just in our minds because we see our goals and are less likely to
forget them.
Now is your time to live your life! Keep in mind to always be true
to the things that you really want to do, the things that you really
value in life. By taking steps and aligning your actions with those
values that mean everything to you, you can achieve a high level
of success and lead a fuller life.