visualdna meeting new people

8/9/2019 Visualdna Meeting New People

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02I’m scared of meeting new people

I’m scared of

meeting new peopleNew people are pretty scary, aren’t they?

The problem is you don’t know them. Theymight be more intelligent, more witty and more

wealthy than you.

You might have nothing to say to them, and theymight think you’re boooooring.

That’s all very scary, isn’t it?

Maybe not.


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Change your

mindNew people aren’t scary,it’s your thoughts aboutthem that are.

Stop the buck

You’re the only one that

can do anything aboutyour fear.

Step outside

yourself

You’re not alone. Up to5% of people have a

social phobia.

Accommodate

the bullies

Don’t let the voices inyour head stop you.

Label yoursensations

Don’t overthink. Label,then move on.

Relax

Practice bodily awarenessto help calm you down.

Speak out

Talk to strangers. Takethe chance they thinkyou’re a bit weird.

What to do


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I’m scared of meeting new people 04

Think about this radical idea: meeting new people isnot scary. The only thing that’s scary is what you think

about meeting new people.

Sound familiar? It’s an ancient Stoic philosophy, neatlyexpressed by Shakespeare in Hamlet :

“There is nothing either good or bad butthinking makes it so”.

This means that we attribute our feelings to externalfactors, but it’s really only our own minds which havethe power to distress us.

For example, take this common worry:

‘I’m scared of meeting my sister’s friends becausethey’re always more successful than me’.

If we reworded this more Stoically it would soundsomething like:

‘I’m scared of meeting my sister’s friends because Ithink their success makes them better than me.’

See the difference? Their success has no bearing on theway you feel. It’s your evaluation of their success thatupsets you.

Change your

mind


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Those of you who feel the symptoms of social anxietyto be unbearable may benefit from some relaxation

techniques.

One of our favourites is bodily awareness, which youcan practice regularly at home as a means of focussingyour mind on your body, rather than on the anxiety-inducing monologue inside your head.

Lie down or sit down.

Breathe easily and naturally. Don’t concentrate too hardon trying to breathe a certain way.

Focus on your head, notice how it feels. Tense yourtemples and brows for five seconds. Notice how thisfeels. Then relax.

Bring your attention to your hands. How do they

feel? Notice the sensations. Do the fingers feel heavy?Clench your fists and relax.

Try this with each part of your body, repeating theprocess of noticing, tensing and relaxing.

Once you’ve practiced a few times, you can shorten theexercise as you like and cut areas out as you see fit.

You can experiment in different environments: on thetrain, walking down the street, at the dinner table.

Eventually you’ll be able to instinctively tap into thisdiscreet form of relaxation when you most need it.

Relax


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Continue your journey

Visit visualdna.com to find outabout who we are and what we do

Take the VisualDNA personality quiz

START NOWSTART NOW

http://www.visualdna.com/http://personality.visualdna.com/http://personality.visualdna.com/http://personality.visualdna.com/http://personality.visualdna.com/http://personality.visualdna.com/http://www.visualdna.com/


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I’VE FORGOTTEN

HOW TO HAVE

FUN

I JUST LOST

MY JOB,

WHATNEXT?

I’M SCARED OF

MEETING NEW

PEOPLEI NEVER SEEM

TO HAVE ANY

TIME FORMYSELF

1 2 3

4 5

6 7 8 9 1 0 1 1 1 2

1

2

3 4 5

6

7

8

9 1 0

1 1 1 2

1 2 3 4

5

6 7 8 9

1 0

1 1 1 2

I’M STUCK

IN A RUT AT

WORK

HOW CAN I REKINDLE MY

RELATIONSHIP?

I WANT TO START

DATING AGAIN

I WANT TO BE MORE

SUCCESSFUL

Keep reading

Click a cover for your next book

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