Phonetic Punctuation

In the open window there suddenly came light.

Beautiful Elinor sat alone dreaming of but one

thing. – Two years had passed, since she met Sir

Henry. She could still remember the unhappy

evening, when her father had thrown him out.

They had been sitting in the park, and Henry has

said-“Darling!” Is this the first time you have

loved? Elinor answered-“Yes-but it is so

wonderful, that I hope it shall not be the last-.”-

I’m getting a little messy here

Suddenly she heard a well known sound. It was

he. In two strides he was near her, embraced,

kissed and caressed her. – Henry! “What is

love?” she asked. He answered-“Well, I

couldn’t live without-”-…….She asked-“Where

have your thoughts been?” He answered- “With

thee, my maiden.” Suddenly he had gone. All

she heard was the well-known sound of his

departing horse.

Inflationary Language

In inflation we have numbers rising, prices go

up. Everything that has to do with money goes

up, except the language. See we have the hidden

numbers in the words such as wonderful, before,

create, tenderly. All these numbers can be

inflated and meet the economy, you know by

rising to the occasion. I suggest we add 1 to

each of the words to be prepared. For instance

wonderful would be twoderful, before should be

befive, create- crenine, tenderly should be

elevenderly, a lieutenant would be a

liutelevenent. A sentence like I ate a tenderloin

with my fork will be-I nined an elevenderloin

with my fivek. And so and so fifth.

Twice upon a time, there lived in

Southern Califivevnia a young man named Bob.

He was a third liuelevenant in the US Air

Fiveces. Bob had been fond of Ana, his one and

half sister, ever since she saw the light of day

for the second time. They were both proud of

the fact that two of his fivefathers had been

among the crenineders of the US

Constithreetion. They were dining on the

terrace, “Ana,” he said, as he took a bite of the

marinatined herring, “You look twoderful

threenight. You never looked that lovely

befive.” Ana really looked twoderful despite of

the illness from which she had not yet

recuperninded. “Yes,” repeated Bob, “you look

twoderful threenight, but you have three of the

saddest eyes I have ever seen.”

The table was tastefully decornined with

Ana’s favorite flowers, threelips. They were

now talking about Ana’a aserten husband, from

whom she was sepernineded. While on the radio

an Irish Elevnor sang tea for three. It was

midnight, the clock in the distance struck

thirteen and suddenly there in the moonlight

stood her husband, Don Two. He was Don

Juan, here’s to the husband Don Two obviously

intoxininded. “Ana!” he blurted, “fivegive me. I

am only young twice and you are my two and

only.” Bob jumped to his feet, “Get out of here

you three faced triple crosser!” And Ana

warned, “Watch out Bob, he is an officer.” “Yes

he is two, but I am two three.”

Any two for elevenis?

All right said Don Two as he wiped his five

head. He then left and when he was one and a

half ways through the revolving door, he

mumbled, “I’ll go back to Elevenesse and be

double again. Farewell Ana, threedleoo

threedleoo.”